Original subtitles

SO, YOU'RE SAYING THE HUMANS ARE DUMB ...YET TALL?

HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE?

I MEAN, HOW COULD ANYTHING TALL BE DUMB?

YEAH! HUH? HUH?!

CAN YOU IMAGINE? HUH?

HUH? HUH?

I ASSURE YOU, IT'S REALLY QUITE...

DOOR...BELL.

UH...HOLD ON.

GIR!

GIR! REMEMBER WITH YOUR BRAINS.

YOU MUST BEHAVE LIKE A HUMAN DOG-MONSTER.

DO YOU UNDERSTAND?

I REEEEALLY DON'T.

GIR!

HUMAN DOGS DON'T SPEAK.

OOOH!

NOW, GO ANSWER THE DOOR.

[MAKING NOISES]

AH, YES. WHERE WERE WE?

OH, YEAH. HUH? HUH?

HOWDY, SQUISHY.

WE ARE HERE TO VOMIT LANGUAGE

WITH THE YOUNG MAN

WHO LIVES IN THIS SHELTER UNIT.

WHAT?! WE'RE NOT ALIENS.

HO! ALIENS. HA. THAT'S A GOOD ONE.

[BOTH LAUGH]

SO HOW TALL ARE THEY?

PERHAPS AS TALL AS YOU, MY TALLEST.

AND SOMEHOW-- AND I'M JUST TRYING TO GET THIS STRAIGHT HERE--

SOMEHOW THEY'RE DUMB?

LIKE THE DULL-WITTED GUSHKWEEGASPLORCH!

I SEE. FASCINATING.

YES, IT IS FASCINATING. BUT I DON'T SEE.

HELLO? MY TALLEST?

WHERE HAVE YOU GONE?

GIR!

GIR, WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO THE...

WHO ARE YOU?

HOWDY. PERFECTLY NORMAL HUMAN WORM BABY.

WE ARE YOUR NEW NEIGHBORS.

YOU'RE WEARING COSTUMES!

[NERVOUSLY] NO, WE AREN'T.

YES, YOU ARE.

YOU'RE NOT HUMAN AT ALL.

YOU'RE ALIENS.

YOUR SHIP IS EMITTING AN INTERFERENCE FIELD,

AND IT JUST INTERRUPTED A VERY IMPORTANT CALL.

UH...RIGHT. PLAN TWO.

UGH--UGH--UH... WHAT'S PLAN TWO?

STUFF HIM IN A SACK!

GIR! DEFENSIVE MODE!

Zim: WHO ARE YOU?

FOOLISH EARTHLING!

YOU HAVE FALLEN VICTIM TO OUR CLEVER PLAN.

HE SURE DID, PA.

YOU THREW ME IN A SACK.

SILENCE!

YOU HAVE BEEN CHOSEN AS A PERFECT SPECIMEN OF THE HUMAN RACE

AND WILL BE ADDED TO OUR COLLECTION OF LIFE FORMS.

BUT...

DO NOT ATTEMPT TO RESIST US!

WE HAVE SPENT HUNDREDS OF YOUR EARTH YEARS

HARVESTING THE GALAXY, HAVEN'T WE?...

ADDING TO OUR COLLECTION.

WELL, WHERE ARE THEY?

THEY ESCAPED.

OOH, OOH! DON'T SAY THAT.

IT MIGHT GIVE HIM IDEAS.

EEEHHH!

BUT I'M NOT HUMAN.

SEE? NOT HUMAN.

ONLY A BRILLIANT DISGUISE.

I CAN SEE HOW YOU COULD BE FOOLED, BUT...

YOU ARE HUMAN!

WE HAVE PROOF!

I KNOW WHAT YOU ARE, ZIM.

I'M HUMAN. YEP, HUMAN. HUMAN, HUMAN.

JUST LOOK AT MY NECK.

I WAS LYING!

SURELY YOU'VE HEARD OF THE MIGHTY IRKEN RACE.

WE DON'T GET THAT TV NO MORE.

I READ A LOT, THOUGH.

HOW DO YOU EXPLAIN THE DOG THEN, EH, EH?

HUMANS KEEP DOGS AS PETS.

[ALIEN 2 STUTTERING]

YEAH! THE DOG! 'SPLAIN IT!

THIS IS GIR.

HE'S DISGUISED AS A DOG, YOU FOOLS!

GIR! CAST OFF YOUR AMAZING DOGGY RUSE

AND SHOW THEM YOUR MIGHTY ROBOT FORM!

WOO-HOO!

HI, THERE!

WOULD YOU LOOK AT THAT.

YOU SEE?

NOW, IF YOU COULD JUST...

WHAT A SMART DOG!

COME HERE, DOGGIE.

YEE HEE HEE HEE!

OH, COME ON!

HE WILL MAKE A FINE ADDITION TO OUR COLLECTION.

COULD YOU JUST, MAYBE, DROP ME OFF?

IMPOSSIBLE!

WE'VE GONE PAST THE POINT OF NO RETUUUURN.

BUT MY HOUSE IS RIGHT DOWN THERE.

I COULD PROBABLY JUST JUMP ONTO THE ROOF.

WAIT!

YOU'RE HOVERING ABOVE AN EARTH NEIGHBORHOOD IN PLAIN SIGHT?

DO YOU THINK WE'RE STUPID?

WE'RE USING ADVANCED CLOAKING TECHNOLOGY, AREN'T WE?

OUR SHIP IS DISGUISED AND PERFECTLY UNNOTICEABLE.

UH...LOOKA THAT.

IT'S ONE OF THEM ORCA WHALES.

BUT ENOUGH PHILOSOPHY.

WE HAVEN'T BEEN TALKING ABOUT...

LET THE HIDEOUS EXPERIMENTS BEGIN.

WE WILL BEGIN BY FUSING YOU TO ANOTHER HUMAN BEING.

THAT'S NO HUMAN BEING. THAT'S A GOPHER!

SILENCE!

BEGIN THE FUSION.

OH, INCREDIBLE. INCREDIBLE WORK.

SUCCESS.

Alien 1: THANK YOU, THANK YOU.

WHAT SHOULD WE DO NEXT?

OH, LET'S FUSE HIM WITH THIS JUICE.

NO, NO. WE'VE ALREADY PROVEN OUR MASTERY OF THE FUSING TECHNOLOGY.

AWWW! BUT JUICE! JUICE!

LOOK, I'M THE CAPTAIN

AND I'M SICK OF YOU ALWAYS FUSING THINGS TO MY JUICE.

OOH, I KNOW.

WHY DON'T WE TEST HOW HE REACTS TO HAVING THINGS

SHOVED THROUGH HIS HEAD?

SHOVING?! NO, NO!

HIS HEAD'S JUST BEGGING FOR JUICE FUSION.

THE HUMAN IS ESCAPING!

EEEUUUGGGHH!

STOP HIM!

RUN, GOPHER! GO FOR HELP!

[CRASH!]

OH, WELL, LOOK AT THAT.

OH! ANOTHER ESCAPE?

IS IT JUST ME? IS IT ME? HUH?

THERE MUST BE SOME WAY OFF THIS STUPID THING.

HELLO? OVER HERE!

WE SHOULDN'T HAVE FUSED HIM.

WE MADE HIM TWICE AS POWERFUL.

TWICE AS DEADLY!

I'M TELLING YOU, THAT JUICE WOULDA SLOWED HIM DOWN BUT GOOD.

HEY. WHAT ARE YOU?

I DON'T EVEN KNOW ANYMORE.

THEY'VE FUSED ME SO MANY TIMES.

EVERYONE ELSE THEY KIDNAP ESCAPES,

BUT I'M SO HEAVY NOW, SO DISGUSTING!

WHAT'S THIS THING?

HOW DO THEY GET AWAY?

THAT DUCT UP THERE LEADS TO THE EMERGENCY ESCAPE SHIPS.

IF ONLY I HAD AN ARM OR A LEG, OR MAYBE... YES!

SOMEONE TO HELP ME GET THERE.

WON'T YOU PLEASE HELP ME?

HELLO?

HELLO.

[WEEPING]

AND WHAT IF THE JUICE HAD MADE HIM MORE POWERFUL?

DID YOU EVER THINK OF THAT?

WHOA, WHOA, WAIT.

ARE WE TALKING ABOUT THE SAME JUICE? HMM?

WHEN'S THE LAST TIME YOU CLEANED YOURSELF?

DEFINE SELF.

GIR! COME TO ZIM!

OH! NOW LOOK AT THAT!

THE OTHER ONE'S GETTING AWAY!

OH! LOOK AT HIM GO.

HOLD ON TO SOMETHING, GIR.

UUUHHH...HMM.

GAH! I THOUGHT I TOLD YOU

TO LOCK THE ESCAPE SHIP ROOM.

OH, JUST 'CAUSE I DIDN'T LOCK IT,

IT'S MY FAULT IT WAS UNLOCKED?

IS THAT WHAT YOU'RE TRYING TO SAY?

THAT'S WHAT I'M SAYING, YES!

FINE, FINE.

IF IT MAKES YOU FEEL BETTER

TO PRETEND I'M STUPID, DUHHH...

THEN GO AHEAD!

I'M GONNA FUSE THESE OTHER HUMANS TO THE BLOB THING.

FINE. YOU DO THAT.

I'M SETTING COORDINATES FOR THE NEXT EARTHLING SPECIMEN:

THE EARTH WEASEL.

Zim: SORRY, MY TALLEST.

I MAY HAVE FOUND A SPECIES EVEN DUMBER THAN THE HUMANS.

WERE THEY...TALL?