Original subtitles

CAPTIONING MADE POSSIBLE BY NICKELODEON AND U.S. DEPARTMENT OF EDUCATION

CAPTIONED BY THE NATIONAL CAPTIONING INSTITUTE --www.ncicap.org--

HA HA HA HA HA!

[SQUEAK SQUEAK]

[SNIFFS]

YOU KNOW, ANYONE WHO WATCHES YOU OBSESSIVELY EVERY DAY

WOULD NOTICE THAT YOU NEVER ACTUALLY EAT ANY OF THE FOOD.

WHY IS THAT, ZIM?

DON'T LIKE THE TASTE,

OR IS IT SOMETHING MORE?

A WEAKNESS?

DON'T BE RIDICULOUS.

I HAVE ALREADY STUFFED MY NORMAL HUMAN BELLY

SO FULL OF DELICIOUS HUMAN FILTH

THAT I COULD NOT EAT ANOTHER BITE.

BALONEY.

AAH! AAH!

THE MEAT! THE MEAT!

THE HORRIBLE MEAT!

[DIB LAUGHING]

[LAUGHTER CONTINUES]

Ms. Bitters: YOU'RE LATE, DIB.

THIS IS THE THIRD TIME THIS WEEK.

SORRY, MS. BITTERS.

I WAS IN THE BIOLOGY ROOM TRYING TO GET PICTURES

OF THAT VAMPIRE GERBIL IN ACTION.

THAT EXCUSE IS GETTING OLD.

SIT DOWN.

ARE YOU STILL MAD

ABOUT THAT THING WITH THE SANDWICH?

[GROWLS]

HEY, BOLOGNA BOY.

HE HAS BOLOGNA ON HIS HEAD.

[CHILDREN LAUGHING]

THAT'S IT, DIB. LAUGH NOW.

YES, LAUGH AND FROLIC

IN YOUR VILE MEATS OF EVIL--

MEATS OF EVIL--

BUT KNOW THAT VENGEANCE SHALL BE MINE.

OH, HOW IT WILL BE MINE!

Voices, chanting: ♪ MEATS OF EVIL ♪

[SHRIEKS]

OW.

HA HA HA HA!

♪ MEATS OF EVIL ♪

THIS IS YOUR VENGEANCE, ZIM?

A TACK?

THAT'S PATHETIC-- EVEN FOR YOU.

CLASS, TODAY'S HORRIBLE LESSON

IS ABOUT SOMETHING HORRIBLE.

OPEN YOUR HORRIBLE TEXTBOOKS TO PAGE 2,038.

Zim: BEAUTIFUL.

IF DIB'S CELLULAR REACTION

IS THE SAME THAT IT IS FOR THESE TEST CELLS,

THEN MY VENGEANCE WILL TRULY BE COMPLETE.

SLEEP WELL THIS NIGHT, MISERABLE HUMAN,

FOR IT WILL BE THE LAST PEACEFUL SLEEP

YOU WILL EVER KNOW.

♪ MEATS OF EVIL ♪

♪ MEATS OF EVIL ♪

Dib: THEY TRY AND SAY IT'S JUST A REGULAR MOUNTAIN RANGE

ON THE MARTIAN SURFACE

AND IT'S JUST A TRICK OF THE LIGHT,

BUT COME ON, IT IS SO A MONKEY FACE.

[SQUEAKING]

GO AWAY.

LOOKS LIKE YOU FINALLY FOUND SOME FRIENDS

WHO ACTUALLY WANT TO BE AROUND YOU.

YEEAGH!

YEEAGH! YEEAGH!

YEE-YEEAGH!

QUIT IT!

[SNIFFING]

HEY, I'M DELICIOUS.

GAZ, TASTE ME. I'M DELICIOUS.

[DOGS BARKING]

AAH!

[PANTING]

LATE AGAIN, DIB.

AND WHAT IS IT THIS TIME,

VAMPIRE BABIES OR BIGFOOT MAILMEN?

DOGS...TASTING ME.

SO MANY DOGS.

HEY, WHAT'S THAT NASTY SANDWICHY SMELL?

I THINK IT'S [GAG] DIB.

DUDE. DUDE.

I LEFT MY UNDERWEAR ON FOR A MONTH ONCE,

AND IT KIND OF SMELLED LIKE HE DOES.

Zim: WHO'S THE JOKE NOW, DIB?

I TOLD YOU YOU'D SUFFER MY REVENGE,

AND NOW LOOK AT YOU.

WHAT, YOU'RE MIND CONTROLLING SLOBBERY DOGS NOW?

REAL SCARY, SPACE BOY.

A QUICK SHOWER

AND YOUR VENGEANCE JUST WASHES RIGHT OFF.

Girl: AW, MAN!

I'M GONNA THROW UP.

THE STINK!

THE STINK!

SILENCE!

IF I HAVE TO PUT UP WITH THE AWESOME FORCE

OF YOUR COLLECTIVE CHILD STENCH EVERY DAY,

THEN SO SHALL YOU ALL.

[SNIFFS]

WHAT IS THAT SMELL?

SO FAMILIAR.

THE SCHOOL HAS LOST ITS FUNDING FOR TEXTBOOKS,

SO YOU'VE ALL BEEN GIVEN WILDLIFE SURVIVAL MANUALS.

TODAY YOU'LL BE QUIZZED ON HOW TO SKIN A MOOSE.

[SNIFFS]

MS. BITTERS,

I THINK THERE'S A SKINNED MOOSE

SOMEWHERE IN THE CLASS.

DIB?

YOU STINK!

GO TO THE BATHROOM

AND ROLL AROUND IN THE TOILET UNTIL YOU SMELL BETTER.

BUT I'LL SMELL LIKE THE TOILET.

EXACTLY.

BUT WILLIE WAS THE LAST ONE TO USE IT.

NOW.

OH, YEAH, DIB?

UH, MY VENGEANCE IS NOW COMPLETE.

[CHEERING]

NOPE.

STILL DELICIOUS.

NO ONE SHOULD BE THIS DELICIOUS.

WHAT'S GOING ON?

AAH!

ZIM.

COMPUTER, ANALYZE.

RUN A CHEMICAL CHECK.

IS THERE ANY UNUSUAL FOREIGN SUBSTANCE

ON THE TACK?

ANALYSIS DONE.

UNKNOWN SUBSTANCE DETECTED.

AND MY SKIN SAMPLE,

DOES IT CONTAIN THE SAME SUBSTANCE?

YES. SUBSTANCE DETECTED IN DIB'S CELLS.

SO, A FOREIGN DNA SEQUENCE--

AND ZIM GOT IT INSIDE ME

BY MAKING ME SIT ON THAT TACK.

COMPUTER, WHERE DID THIS DNA ORIGINATE FROM?

ANALYZING.

BOLOGNA!

ZIM HAS INTRODUCED BOLOGNA DNA INTO MY BODY?

COMPUTER, HAVE I ABSORBED THE BOLOGNA?

NO. SUBJECT DIB HAS BEEN FUSED WITH SUBJECT BOLOGNA.

NO-O-O!

ZIM?

IS IT A FAIR FIGHT?

IS THIS MOOSE CREATURE

WIELDING ANY SORT OF PROJECTILE WEAPONS?

NO. NO, IT'S NOT.

[DOOR OPENS]

[FLIES BUZZING]

All: EEW.

I KNOW WHAT YOU'VE DONE, ZIM,

AND IT'S NOT FUNNY.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.

GET AWAY FROM ME, SANDWICH BOY.

THE CURE!

MAKE IT STOP, ZIM.

MAKE THIS THING YOU'VE DONE TO ME STOP.

THERE IS NO CURE!

AND I'LL NEVER MAKE IT STOP.

YOU MIGHT AS WELL RESIGN YOURSELF

TO YOUR MEATY FATE.

I TOLD YOU YOU WOULD FOREVER RUE THE DAY

YOU MESSED WITH ZIM!

NOW, BEGIN YOUR RUING.

I'LL JUST SIT HERE AND WATCH.

[LAUGHING]

[LAUGHTER CONTINUES]

NO-O-O!

[LAUGHING]

AHEM.

[DOGS BARKING]

[ARF ARF]

I KNOW ALL ABOUT YOUR LITTLE TRICK, ZIM.

I MUST ADMIT IT'S A PRETTY GOOD JOKE.

I--I THINK IT DESERVES SOME PRAISE.

FINALLY, THE DAY HAS COME.

IT'S ABOUT TIME YOU ACKNOWLEDGED ME

AS THE SUPERIOR BEING I SO AM.

IT SHALL MAKE MY VICTORY SWEETER TO KNOW THAT--

OW! OW!

HA HA HA HA!

JOKE'S ON YOU, ZIM.

NOW YOU HAVE TO FIND A CURE FOR THE BOLOGNA THING.

FOOL!

YOU THINK I WOULD SHARE THE CURE WITH YOU?

I'LL FIND A CURE

AND KEEP IT ALL TO MYSELF

AND THEN WATCH YOU TRANSFORM

MORE AND MORE INTO WHAT YOU REALLY ARE

DEEP DOWN IN YOUR HEART.

DEEP DOWN I'M BOLOGNA?

YES.

THAT'S JUST DUMB.

DUMB LIKE A MOOSE, DIB.

DUMB LIKE A MOOSE.

HEY, WAIT.

THE CURE!

Zim: NO!

THE REACTION IS MUCH QUICKER INSIDE OF ME.

IT'S WORSE THAN I IMAGINED.

COMPUTER, QUICKLY ENGINEER A SERUM

TO REVERSE THE EFFECTS OF THE MUTAGEN.

COMMAND VOICE NOT RECOGNIZED.

INTRUDER PRESENT.

INTRUDER?

I AM ZIM!

RUN A SCAN TO VERIFY THAT I AM ZIM!

BIOSCAN VERIFICATION COMPLETE.

INTRUDER IS BOLOGNA.

[DOORBELL RINGS]

THE DOGS--

AFTER MY JUICY MEAT BODY

OF BOLOGNA MEAT!

ZIM, WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

MY BASE, MY LABS,

THEY DON'T THINK I'M REALLY ME.

THE TRANSFORMATION IS SO BAD

IT SEES ME AS A DIFFERENT CREATURE NOW.

I MUST USE YOUR LABS.

YOU WANT TO USE MY LABS?

IT'S THE ONLY WAY.

I MUST FIND THE CURE.

QUICKLY! THE DOGS-- LISTEN TO THEM!

YOU KNOW, IT WOULD BENEFIT YOU AS WELL.

JUST THIS ONCE, WE WORK TOGETHER.

MORTAL ENEMIES WORKING TOGETHER

FOR THE COMMON GOOD!

BE QUIET!

[ALARM]

FINALLY, I THINK WE'VE DONE IT.

EEW!

OH, YOU ROTTEN ALIEN MONSTER.

THIS INFERIOR EQUIPMENT,

IRKEN BABIES PLAY WITH MORE ADVANCED TOYS.

HEY, WE WOULDN'T BE IN THIS MESS

IF IT WEREN'T FOR YOUR STUPID EVIL.

THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT.

NOW WHAT, ZIM? WHAT'S YOUR NEXT PLAN?

LET'S RUN SCREAMING.

[SCREAMING]

[DOGS BARKING]

Dib: YOU JERK.