All language subtitles for Ile wazy kon trojanski (Cuánto pesa el caballo de troya) 2008

present, co-funded by the Polish Film Institute

a Juliusz Machulski film

HOW MUCH DOES THE TROJAN HORSE WEIGH?

<i>Passenger Zosia Radecka, departing to Malaga...</i>

- Malaga, 10 o'clock? - Ticket-Sales Point 3.

<i>Repeat Passenger Radecka, age 40...

It's me.

- Excuse me? - They're paging my name.

Age 40?

- Excuse me? - Are you 40?

- None of your business. - Today's your birthday!

A surprise for you on behalf of the airport.

Blow them out, please.

You kidding?

<i>May she live <i>to be a hundred...

Kuba!

Florka? Kuba!

To be quite blunt? It's no good.

I can't take it anymore.

We must change the bedroom or move out altogether.

<i>May she live</i> <i>to be a hundred...</i>

We made a deal: not this birthday!

- Mom... - Thank you.

Beautiful! No need to make breakfast.

- Well then... - What?

- Is it different? - From what?

- Yesterday. - No, it's not.

But let's not talk about it, please.

Not about my age.

When I was your age,

- ... my today's seemed ancient. - And it's not?

No. Every day in every way mom's getting better and better.

When I turned 20, I promised myself to go to Paris on this birthday,

and jump off the Eiffel Tower.

But then I jump after you,

and take you to the restaurant on the top floor.

- That's where James Bond landed? - Exactly.

And what's its name?

- Jules Verne. - Jules Verne.

- You couldn't've managed. - Me?

You have to book a table there half a year earlier.

I know the maître de. He'd squeeze us in.

- What's his name? - Jules Verne.

<i>You local idiot,</i> <i>the local moron said,</i>

<i>would you like to see</i> <i>a blockbuster with me?</i>

<i>The local cretin replied,</i> <i>With pleasure,</i>

<i>since I'm in love with</i> <i>you in some measure.</i>

- I can't stand it. Stop or I'll puke. - You hate the poet Tuwim.

Dad, how much did the Trojan horse weigh?

- Empty or with the crew inside? - Oh, gosh...

That's what we need.

Gerberas? I never like them or trucks either.

It's no truck but a Hummer.

Good. I got to hang up.

I'm happy to have found you.

Zosia, many happy returns of the day.

What a murderous memory?

I wish you... since you've found happiness...

... good health, which guarantees everything.

- Thank you. - Here you are.

Hi, hello Jacob!

How pale you are.

You should go out and get suntanned.

- Sure. Hi, Darek. - Hi, Dad.

A bit in a hurry... Thanks for the flowers.

You shouldn't have bothered so early in the morn. We were just...

I've just come to take her. Where's hello to Daddy?

grandma's dying to see you. You'll even stay overnight.

Can't grandma put that off?

I can't tomorrow - going hunting.

I put the hunt off especially to give you best wishes.

How lucky I am. Thanks.

You can always call me to make a date.

A permission for an audience. I misbehaved as usual.

I'll drive with Dad, but you'll collect me, yes?

Sure thing.

- And I'll tell him... - No. It's not the right time.

By the way can I take the antlers back?

Great. They're ready. I'll fetch them.

- Well, how's school? - It's holidays.

Got good grades? The 5th grade is no piece of cake.

- I'm in the 6th. - How time goes by...

Yeah.

- Zosia, how about a comeback? - Excuse me?

We make such a beautiful family. Would you like Dad to remarry Mom?

- Mom's has a husband already. - You've made a nest in my house.

Excuse me? A nest in your house?

- Kuba and I paid you off long ago. - Yes, you did to build a nest.

Thanks. They're changing the mains. High time.

- If we go, then let's go. - Good bye.

Let's go.

And it's gonna drag...

So many years after the divorce, as if we were still bound.

- You are. - With what?

Florka.

Dad, I got to tell you something important.

First, let me see if they're putting the mains right.

I'm awfully sorry for my former life,

for not having met you earlier, that Florka's not your daughter,

but must be shared with this...

her ex father.

You think that our natural daughter would be finer?

Since I live with Kuba and he brings me up,

I'd like my name to be Albrecht-Radecka.

You're stabbing me in the heart!

I also bring you up...

- What happened? - Hey, you alive, mister?

I swear I've never...

And into the pit with those antlers!

I wish he'd broken his neck.

He might've broken his leg trying to save the antlers.

So the name change is out of the question?

Wait, Florka asked Darek to agree to change her name to Radecka?

Not to change, but to add to Albrecht.

She's going to high school. Kuba's familiar to TV viewers.

So she wouldn't like to explain why her name's different.

Her name would be

Albrecht after Darek plus Radecka after Kuba.

When she told him that, he fell into the pit.

You're proof that God or at least Providence exists.

Me? Why?

You freed yourself from a tyrant husband, met a super guy

whom your daughter adores more than her dad.

You must be awfully happy.

- What happened to your eye? - Nothing.

- I bumped against the cabinet. - He did it again?

- You should have him... - Nobody did anything.

Away with this number!

Outta here.

- Bye. - Bye darling.

Hold your own on this birthday. See you at work Monday.

- Bye. - Bye Marta.

Happy New Year. Bye.

That SOB batters her.

Unbelievable. Wife beater.

And they could never have met.

I remember the day he came to our Dean's office.

Isn't your name day today, Zosia?

Must be, because it's today. Got something for coffee?

I must've... gotten lost.

I'm looking for the Sociology Dept. office.

- It's two blocks away from here. - I'll walk there with you.

You are having a class and will be late.

No big deal if I come late.

And she fell into the trap.

How come you remember when it happened?

- I have a good episodic memory. - What?!

Concerned with my own experiences.

Hi, grandma.

BORN NOV. 11, 1918, DIED A TRAGIC DEATH MAY 17, 1987

CODENAME "WASP", THE HOME ARMY SOLDIER

So... I've turned 40.

I sometimes miss you badly.

Thank you for everything,

as I know you're watching over me all the time.

I wish Florka had gotten to know you

and you had met Kuba.

How much does the Trojan horse weigh?

There was an English version. Sold out now.

Forty?

- How do you know? - Excuse me?

- My age's none of your business. - I meant the price in zloty.

Oh, I'm awfully sorry. Must be an obsession.

What an encounter!

- What're you doing tonight? - It depends...

- What's this tube? - Surprise.

I have one for you too, but must water flowers first.

- Will you come along? - Water flowers?

- What flowers? - Jacek asked me.

He's left for two weeks.

Posh, isn't it.

- You like it? - You're asking?

He lives the life of Reilly. How much is it?

No idea. A pile of money.

You really would like to live in an old brownstone?

With you? Even under the bridge.

Under the bridge?

I like open spaces and a thrill of emotion.

Water flowers? Where's the furniture?

Zosia, I've cheated you a bit.

Kuba!

What?

Your birthday present from me.

Good heavens...

You had the money?

I'd been saving for a long time, refusing to buy cookies.

And the Russians and East Europeans

have bought the copyright of the TV series. And a credit...

You secretive asshole. You didn't ask my opinion.

I can withdraw the advance.

Not on your life! God, how beautiful!

How did you know it was my dream?

I know you a bit.

Folks! It's today!

- Aren't you scared? - Of what?

- I can't wait the millennium. - What millennium?

It's coming along! Tonight everything is going crazy.

Mostly computers. Things will be happening.

Zosia and Kuba! Happy millennium!

In fact, the new millennium starts in 2001.

And 2000 is the last year of the old one.

But everything's going crazy tonight.

That's media hysterics, only to have all heave a sigh of relief after.

- Nothing's going to happen? - It never did!

How do you know?

The last time was 1,000 years ago.

Ever had presents like: Let's stay home?

- Worse. - Worse?!

Wanna hear why I didn't become a body builder?

- Cause you learned to read and write? - That too. But it's a secret.

I've never told anyone about it.

You can tell us. Not a peep. Promise.

- Since I was a frail boy... - When you were about...

Ten... I wanted very much to be strongly built

and asked mom and dad to buy me dumbbells.

- What?! - Weights to exercise with.

And they bought me... one.

How come? You exercise with two.

Mom must've thought,

"Two at a time would go to his head.

We'll buy him one and next we'll see..."

- But you can't exercise with one! - Exactly!

I never got the other one.

You were a poor kid.

Neglected.

Had he really wanted to have two, he'd have gotten them!

- You know how obstinate he is? - I do.

Florka, I got something for you.

Attention! Close your eyes.

- Attention... - Come here, come...

Not only you mull over this problem.

Come, I'll show you something.

Kuba has bought it for me.

You can spoil everything.

We'll hang the Polish version in the john.

Hi, Mom.

I've been calling you... Where have you been?

- Why didn't you try my cell? <i>- You know I hate cells.</i>

May you live to be a hundred. Careful with the New Year Eve's party.

No, thank you. We ignore the party.

How can you?

We have a New Year Eve's party every day.

<i>Something's bound to happen.</i> <i>The computers won't manage...</i>

There are special duties in the banks...

It's food for morons... A medial hysterics,

only to have everyone heave a sigh of relief after...

- Where did you get it? - From the wardrobe.

I'm a moron, then.

Cause you got excited by that rubbish.

- What if you lose your money? - Tell positive news sometimes.

Didn't I offer my wishes! Must we fight even on your birthday?

But I'm not, Mom. Nothing untoward will occur.

- We'll see, then. - I'll call you in the New Year.

Love. Bye.

How many times did I tell you not to take my things?

You used to wear this once?

Once. Take it off or you'll damage it.

- Don't keep it. Donate to the poor. - The first thing I bought abroad.

- Take it off. - You put it on.

Don't get my goat! My birthday is enough

- with the party the same day! - Which do I choose for school?

- It's holidays. - No time later.

- Which? - This.

Show me. Certainly not!

- What have you done, Mom?! - I photographed badly!

Don't you ever tear mementos. Luckily, I got the negative.

When will you take off the dress? Throw it away!

We really ignore the party?

Yes. Go to bed, come on.

Tomorrow's another day full of sensation.

Mom's right. Bye, bye.

I told grandma I wish I were 15 years younger.

We could've been 15 years together.

We're lucky to have met at all!

It might've been different earlier.

You could not have fancied me.

- Or you me? - Or you me.

You creep! How could you not have fancied me?!

Not at all! You are incredibly beautiful!

I'll lift my eyelids and you'll see then!

You want to go under the knife? Crazy?

Wouldn't you like to have a younger wife?

I repeat: you're incredibly beautiful...

Folks! We really ignore it? It's in 5 minutes.

On the double!

Two minutes!

I can't without makeup in the new millennium.

The new one is next year. Come!

- Mom, please! - Don't start without me!

One minute left!

Quick, quick.

...five, four, three, two, one...

Two thousand!

All the best. May this year be better than the former

and not necessarily than those to come.

She's asleep.

Thank you we are finally moving out of this bedroom.

No problemo, Chief.

Get ready. I'll be back and give you a hard time.

Come back and do it.

Well, not so bad!

The new millennium. It has begun!

The commie times are over,

but Lenin's perennially alive in the power plant.

You've been smoking?

How did you get here? What's that dog?

Why waking me up and yelling?

What's your business here. Piss the fuck off!

- What piss off? - Kuba, what's up?

- What Kuba? - Jesus, it's a dream.

What're you doing in my bed?!!!

In your bed??? I'm your husband!

What Kuba? Aren't you hiding something from me?

It's a dream. Like in the airport!

Sleep! Sleep!

It's a dream all right.

What about making a little love, huh?

We'll talk about it tomorrow?

What a nightmare I've had.

All right. You'll tell me tomorrow.

Such dreams suck.

Kuba! Make me coffee!

Oh, darn it, I've lost my contact lenses.

Kuba! Florka! Wish you'd find my contact lenses.

We're happy to move out of this shack.

It's just running up and down, like a lighthouse keeper!

I see better without them.

How did you behave last night, huh?

You bashed my nose! You flipped out?!

- Holy shit! - Mind your French.

Jaruzelski's plans are a significant initiative.

Why interested in Jaruzelski all of a sudden?

That's what I needed!

So did I? I wanted a wife to make me breakfast,

so I got one! An unbuttered roll. Enjoy!

Why are you yelling at me?

Why should I make you breakfast?

Sometimes you could've made it for me... once.

What happened, darling? You quarreled with Mom?

I hope you'll have gotten over it by the evening.

Tad, wife, and the Swedes are coming.

Listen, this dinner may set us well till our dying day.

- Try your best, please. - What Swedes?

What Swedes?

Thank you for taking interest in my business!

I've been cutting this deal

for half a year and you don't remember it's tonight.

WARSAW, MAY 17th, 1987.

Oh, Jesus!

Aren't you going to the university?

No, I'll take a day off.

Very good. You want to prepare the reception.

I fuck receptions! I must collect my thoughts!

Go ahead and I'll go to earn dough, so that you

could take a day off and collect your thoughts.

- Call me in case... - In case what?

- Just call me. - Your cell?

Cell? My office may not be a paragon of neatness,

but it's certainly not in jail.

No! It can't be true!... It's a dream...

A very realistic nightmare!

Impossible, impossible...

No... possible.

The fucking Groundhog Day!

I wish I'd wanted to be taller rather than younger!

Florka.

Not a minute longer...

- Hello. - Hello.

- Any vacancies? - Yes.

- Then a single if possible. - I'll try...

- One night? - Yes.

Or maybe the next two...

Your ID, please.

Here.

- But you're registered in Warsaw! - For five generations.

- I can't check you in. - Why?

- You kidding? - No, I'm not. Why?

- These are the rules. - Change them, then!

Of course, but it'll take a while...

- I even know how long! - Interesting. How long?

Two years and...

twenty days.

Then welcome in two years and... twenty days.

Sexy glasses.

Marks, dollars, bonds... Marks, dollars, bonds...

What?

Get lost, man!

Kuba, where are you?

- Hi. - Hi.

We're at variance, but I must stay overnight.

- At variance? Over what? - We aren't? So much the better.

What have you done to your hair?

Grown, cut? Tell me what happened?

Oh, many happy returns on your name day.

Name day, shname day. I've left Darek!

You don't say?!

- Only 10 years too late. - Your long hair was more becoming.

Ten years? Three years after the wedding.

- You've known him for five! - Can I sleep here?

I wanted at the hotel, but forgot you have these commies!

I'll find something tomorrow.

What're you talking about? Of course, you can.

- In my room or with grandma? - With grandma?! She lives!

Good Mom is here. Outta here.

grandma?

Zosia! Come to me, my darling name day girl.

Many happy returns of the day!

- My dear grandma! - I've got pralines for you.

What's wrong? Something happened?

I'm so happy to see you.

It's no good you just walked out on him.

If he wasn't honest with you, he should've left

if you're sure you won't forgive him.

In my times women often forgave men their cheating.

After all, they're men.

grandma, times have changed. I don't want to forgive him.

- Most important, I don't love him. - You love someone else?

Yes.

You want to be with him and something's in the way?

Yes.

- Is he married? - That's not the problem.

What is, then?

I'll meet him in 8 years.

In 8 years...

and you love him already?

Yes, he's the love of my life.

I see.

grandma,

you're the only one I can tell the truth to.

Promise you won't laugh at me.

Promise.

I know my future life, the next 12 years. Day after day.

You do? How come?

I've lived through them. It's a time warp.

Interesting...

I was in bed with Kuba on Jan. 1, 2000

and left for the bathroom for a moment.

On my return it was '87, Darek was in bed,

whom I don't love, and Kuba, that I do, had disappeared!

I'd dissuaded you from marrying Darek,

but today I advice, since it's a time warp

and know all about him, try to find a remedy.

Something could be salvaged.

Nothing can!

I can't be with Darek since I met Kuba!

What remedy?

To enter the room before he takes off his pants?

I can do that.

But I can't change his mindset.

Darek's a guy who shouldn't start a family!

Aren't you jumping to conclusions?

What would you do if you were me?

If there was a time warp?

I'd certainly try to remedy whatever possible.

I wouldn't move out of the house for sure.

It's your home.

It's so good you're here.

- Teresa, you're here... - Hi, Zosia.

- Outta here. Bye. - Hi, Jurek.

- May I date you some day? - What's so urgent?

You're married, but no wedding ring today, so I thought...

Warm, warm. Why don't you read

"Personal Attraction from the First Sight

till Emotional Attachments..."

Who wrote it?

"Social Psychology" by Aronson, Wilson, Alert; Warsaw 1997.

I'll sure read it. '97? You mean '87?

Sure. But I have other fish to fry.

I'm making a genuine GDR coffee

Dad's brought from a business trip. Isn't today your name day?

It is because it's today!

Got something for coffee?

The pralines!

Teresa! Come here for a sec, come.

Excuse me, I must've lost my way.

I'm looking for the Sociology Dept. office...

Sociology is on Karowa St. Somewhere else.

<i>Open up!</i>

I'm not disturbing, I hope.

<i>Are you kidding me?</i>

A little. Goodbye. Go now. It's far from here.

You aren't too polite. A sympatico guy...

I know what I'm doing.

You crazy? I give you coffee and you...

I'm so happy we'll be drinking the coffee all alone!

In 10 years, we'll set up a psychotherapeutic office!

- And me? - You'll be treated there.

Great...

"...How do I find Kuba?"

"...And why me?!"

Please be seated. One moment.

You know what's the best in the world?

Communism. And what's the worst?

The fact that it's over here.

- You've flipped out? - Yes, because I married you.

Are you writing poems? We have visitors!

- You do. - No food ready?

If you like to eat, you could've done it.

- If you'd warned me. - I warned you that I give a shit!

Oh sweet Jesus Mary, Zocha...

Zosia! I'm sorry. I clean forgot.

It's your name day today. Forgive me.

All because of that meeting.

You know how important it is. I told you. Remember?

The Svensons are looking for a site near Warsaw for IKEA.

And they liked my 3 ha of wasteland.

Zosia! It may be a gold mine to set us for a lifetime.

I'll celebrate your name day every day.

- What is it, anyway? - I want you to leave me alone.

I will if you prepare the dinner. You'll leave for a week!

Why? This is my home. You leave... tomorrow for two weeks.

Tomorrow? Give me two days at least.

I must get the folks ready in the firm.

Will you leave for two weeks?

Just make the dinner. I beg you!

- There's nothing in the house. - Nothing? I've provided everything!

Kabanosy, smoked sirloin, ham! Everything!

You know what it took?!

Tickets to that film festival, a color TV I bartered

for bikes for the twins of the meat products manager.

Now I have back door access to that supermarket all year!

Everything's in the fridge. Just start preparing it. I beg you!

I'll make the dinner. Our last together.

My sweet...

And some good advice: Better not tell them

about your holidays in Sweden...

Come on, Zosia. I know what, when and to whom.

It's a first class dinner.

I haven't eaten kabanosy for months.

The last dinner I'm making in this house. Thank you.

I understand you. I'd like to suddenly bolt from the kitchen, take a suitcase

and flee for ever.

- What's that, a modern kind of joke? - She isn't kidding.

But it's irresponsible.

And how! I'll do it too. Enough of this slavery.

What's this meeting in the house?! There're restaurants...

Lars's congratulations on having such a wonderful wife!

He's happy we'll be business partners.

So am I! All the best! Your health.

We Poles and the Swedes have a lot in common.

We had a common king, have a common sea.

Swedes have everything just enough, and we've had enough of everything.

I'll tell you about my holidays in Sweden.

I tell them...

Ten years ago I was on vacation,

in Oaxen Skargardskrog near Stockholm!

Go ahead!

With Tadeusz here

we'd been going on holidays together for 10 years...

Vodka, cigarettes, barter. One had to make a living, no?

- He had a Fiat 125p. - Yellow Bahama.

And I, a Polish trailer. I was so young then, huh?

It was more difficult to get than a flat.

- In 1977... - I was refused my passport.

The holidays - in jeopardy.

And the possible pay I could've lived off for a year.

Add what comes to the rescue?

My entrepreneurial gene

Tadeusz tows me in the trailer to Świnoujście,

where he parks it on the ferry.

Having made friends with a truck driver,

I had him tow me to a campground to Oaxen.

And the next two months saw me hustle the campground.

But in a cultured way, of course. It was before I met Zosia.

But in a cultured way.

Before I knew it, all my friends had gone home

and I was left in the trailer in the campground!

- The fall semester had already begun... - But your entrepreneurial gene?

I reported to the police that my car had been stolen.

"Impossible," they say. So I showed them the trailer.

That convinced them there had had to be a car.

They didn't even ask me about the car papers

and started looking for the car all over Sweden...

I stayed at the hotel, as they'd paid for it.

Finally, they found nothing, of course.

Soon the cops came, writhing with shame,

and suggested that they tow me to the ferry.

So I sat at ease, smoking a cigarette,

while a police Volvo was towing my trailer.

A senior officer apologized: "Nothing like that has happened

in my 30 years on the force" he said.

I was waiting in Świnoujście in my Yellow Bahama....

And tows me to Warsaw.

My only holidays abroad in a trailer without a car!

Lars wants to get it right.

Did the police look for a car that was not?

Not at all!

Why did they look, then?

It boggled the suckers' minds that one can pull such a fast one.

Did you deceive the police to go and look for your car

- that never was? - Aren't I saying they're suckers?

Lars says it's not funny.

No?

Shall we meet alone without the husbands?

- With pleasure. - To plot against us, huh?

Why? You'll do yourselves in alone.

- How about tomorrow? - OK.

Bye. Take care.

Thank you, Darek.

I'm sorry.

Good bye.

Everything was delicious. Love. Good bye.

It was nice. Bye. Take care.

Thanks, Zosia. Svenson has clearly fallen for you.

We got the deal closed, huh?

We don't. Your wasteland will lie fallow.

How come? Łomianki - the ideal site for IKEA!

IKEA will be in Janki.

In Łom-janki.

I've invited you for coffee, because I think

we'll be the best friends in 3 years.

I don't make friends easily.

But I know it'll pan out. Why put it off?

I always liked you of all the wives of our sharp operators...

I didn't, which was a mistake.

You are worthier than all of us combined.

No matter how resistant I am to compliments,

it's nice to hear, anyway.

Since we're friends, tell me who Darek cheats on me with?

What a question?! I don't know if he does...

Even if I did, you don't tell such things.

A friend to a friend?

- Then we're friends already? - Very much so!

Would you if you knew something about Tad?

Of, course!

You don't tell such things.

Deep down you're very unhappy. Tad isn't too affectionate

and you still can't get over his fling with the vice Miss Polonia.

How do you know?

Even if I mumbled something when drunk...

- ... it was long ago and untrue! - Sure.

Who does Darek cheat on me with?

I don't know!

Find out from Tad.

How can they serve coffee in glasses?

In what, then?

Waitress!

In 10 years, it'll be a super sushi restaurant.

In this café?

A Japanese style sushi restaurant. Raw fish on rice.

- Yuck! An abomination! - You'll gorge on it. You'll see.

- May I help you? - With plastic?

So suddenly on May, 16, 1987 we'll start a lifelong friendship...

- Menu? - That's in plastic covers.

I'll pay with cash.

Oh, darn it, May 16...

Bye!

- grandma? - Here!

- Pack up! - I am.

I'm taking you to the seaside!

Not to the seaside. To the sanatorium.

I won't let you!

We've put the seaside off for too long...

But a referral... so hard to get! I waited for half a year.

- Where at the seaside? - To the sanatorium...

You'll go to the sanatorium. It's more beautiful in the fall.

I'm not thinking about it at all.

What are you thinking about then?

- I think... - What's crossing your mind?

What if I had a beer?

This is OK, yes?

A history major, I can't find a job in this country?

I... paint chimneys... But wanted to be an archeologist.

No way!

We have plenty of work. You must've fallen from grace.

What?

- You must've been active... - Nuts...

Why did you set up labor unions?

We deluded ourselves one could live a normal life!

- One can. - No! You've proved we can't.

Fuck everything, then! When I get my passport,

- we take Maciek and leave. I won't... - Good riddance.

No! I can't tell you how I know it,

but things will be better. Hold on for a while!

- How long? - Till June 4th, '89.

COMMUNIST PARTY FOR AGREEMENT AND CONTENTION

I'm glad you're happy. The two of us here.

The only bright side of the time warp.

- Jake, you like it? - Uh-huh.

- Maybe this, then? - For Christ's sake!

Which one then?

You can't decide. I know.

Sometimes I think it's a dream...

this future life.

Kuba, Florka.

- What Florka? - Your granddaughter.

Will I have Florka, my great-granddaughter?

You are pregnant.

Oh, darn it!

I'm not, dammit! And I should be in 2 weeks!

If I want to have Florka... Goddammit!

You'd rather wait for that Kuba of yours?

Yes! To have Florka with him.

If what you say is true, it will be another Florka.

What do I do, then?

Polish president. Six letters, the third e?

Wałęsa.

What Wałęsa?

Polish President...

Bierut.

The 3rd necklace this week.

But it's a bargain. See how beautiful they are?

This is the homeland of amber.

We don't have money!...

- Then borrow. - Again?

I want to have Florka, but can't return to Darek!

I don't want to!

Should I return to let him impregnate me?

You can't get pregnant without it.

God, what a lowlife...

This will go with the dress we bought yesterday.

Here. This is all I got.

So we can leave home earlier.

Stop always bickering with me over money!

Where do I take it from?

Your account. You should earn more.

You give up the necklace? I'm interested.

Moment! I'm giving it some thought!

<i>The bus carrying patients</i> <i>from Warsaw to the sanatorium</i>

<i>fell into a ditch.</i>

<i>There are 15 injured.</i> <i>Luckily, no deaths reported...</i>

<i>Commander Jarosz from local police...</i>

Tea.

Thank you.

Even if I met Kuba by accident, what would I tell him?

"Excuse me, sir, I'd like to have your child,

as, in 9 years, we'll be together, anyway."

It should be put more delicately...

Delicately? Everything sucks!

This trip was to be for you, whereas I pester you all the time.

Let's have fish.

It may be in short supply here.

At the seaside?!

If the Soviet Union had the Sahara, sand would be in short supply.

What's so funny about it?

Careful, boy. You drive too fast. Where's Mommy?

Name's Robert Kubica from Kraków.

What're you doing, Rob? I'm sorry, ladies.

That's all right.

I'd like to show you...

the 18th century bridge I mentioned to you.

- Would you like? - Sure thing.

I like Sopot.

It's so quiet and peaceful.

Catch him! The SOB!

<i>Give me that bike.</i>

<i>But it's my bike. Leave me alone!</i>

<i>Help me!</i>

What's going on there?

- But it's my bike. - Gimme.

- Hey, leave him alone? - What will you do to us, Licorice?

- Give it back. - Get lost, it's our bike now.

- Give the bike back to him. - But it's ours.

- Giving it back? - No.

Get lost, kid.

You bandit. I'm going to the police.

Kuba! Oh, Jesus!...

What happened?

- Oh, Jesus!!! It was him!... - Who?

Kuba!!!

Your Kuba?

I didn't know he was in Sopot then.

How come in Sopot? Not in Canada?

- grandma, forgive me, I have to run! - That goes without saying.

Stop!!!

Oh, darn it, crazy! Tired of life?

Where's the other one? I saw you a moment ago!

I took him to the station.

- Was it Mr. Kuba Radecki? - Maybe. I don't know.

Where did you find him?

- He stayed in the Writers' Retreat. - Writers' Retreat? Thank you!

A regular crazy.

Excuse me. Did Mr. Kuba Radecki stay here?

- Are you a member? - No...

Sorry, no information for strangers. This is a Writers' Retreat.

- I need it very badly. - I understand,

but I can't help, anyway.

You can! But you don't want to!

Makes no difference.

Miss Róża, water that hare's-foot fern.

What a country.

Secretive about anything. We're in the NATO for a year now!

In 12 years, that is.

- They didn't tell you? - No.

You must've botched it.

- Will we be in the NATO? - Yeah.

Good morning. Excuse me. I was passing by

when a motorbike was leaving this place.

The man in the back dropped his keys.

It may be important.

My husband took one of the guests to the station.

Thank you. His wife is returning from Jurata,

so we'll give her the keys tomorrow.

He may have trouble entering the house.

Yep.

But we can't help it.

If it's somebody from Warsaw... my grandson is returning there by car.

He can take them to him.

Yes? What a lucky coincidence...

- I'll give you the address. - Very good.

No?!

22 Egejska St.

Close to my place... where the laundry is.

grandma, you're a genius.

You may want to return to Warsaw immediately?

I must walk the dog! Come!

Where's hello to you husband?

Why now? You've never walked him.

I must start it one day... I'm taking the car!

The car to walk the dog? To the seaside...

with this dog?

Come.

DRY CLEANING

Kuba used to have a dog too, a poodle.

Embarrassed to walk it, he'd do it after dark.

Maybe we'll luck out.

It's here.

Aren't you exaggerating?

You've been away for 3 days. I worry myself stiff.

You were to go away.

- Should I vanish? - That'd be the best...

We have to talk about your problem.

You don't like something about me?

Let's think. Hmm.

You smoke in bed, don't keep your word,

ignore my opinion...

Rather than a friend, you behave like my owner...

I'm decent, respected, and highly regarded.

Your humors are becoming more and more irritating.

With a less tolerant guy...

With a more tolerant - no humors.

I wonder if there are any more tolerant than me.

You do what you please!

- For which I demand a bit of respect! - I have none for you.

- Why? - Because...

You know what?

You've got a problem! More serious than you think!

Go to a shrink to treat your head!

It will be cooler for you.

You think your mistress is misbehaving, huh?

Whatever. I don't care.

What the hell? Away with that rust heap!

Oh, Jesus!

Goddammit!

Jeanette, a hostess, 21.

In Darek's bedsitter.

She carries a thermos bottle after him when they go hunting.

Darek had a bedsitter?

Tad is not sure. Maybe somebody gives him the keys.

I can't believe it hasn't registered on you.

- You aren't even emotional about it... - How many times can you be?

When I make sure, I'll call you. Home?

Not home. Better my cell... OK, home.

How beautiful it'd be if every one of us had a phone in the pocket.

- You call when you wish... - As if in a GDR sci-fi flick?

I have the feeling it will be in 9, 10 years...

- In Poland? In 110! - That's what I wanted to say.

"I can't give you much I can't give you much

Cause I don't have enough!

I can't give you much I can't give you much

I'm so sorry..."

"Blunted by time charm, The clink of empty glass,

Dream's not come true...

A divided world, Thoughts deserving bars..."

I like to watch fire...

I love you, Zosia.

I love you too.

I like to watch fire...

I do love you, Zosia.

But I don't.

How can you do it? I love yesterday, but not today?!

You have an awful character. You're an egoist...

"Egoist is the one who doesn't think about me" right?

- And you cheat me to boot. - What cheat?

Cheat on me!

Wait a minute. How come I cheat on you?

With whom?

And why should I?

Why? Because you've never loved me.

Who with? A list beginning with our neighbor Jola till

the chicks you meet in the street?

I don't even know her name's Jola!

- Sure. It'll be in a year's time... - You're obsessed with this cheating.

By the way who's Kuba?

Kuba is not. Not yet. But will be.

You're not quite normal.

Your mom couldn't settle down and you can't either.

- She's the one to blame. - Back off my mother.

I was the fool not to have met someone before I met you.

- Girls warned me: A ladies' man... - They were jealous!

But I wanted to change you! Live as you please but without me!

Doesn't my love for you matter?

don't cheat on you, haver no flings, and love you and only you?

But for the truth, I'd almost believe you...

- How do I prove it? - I don't love you, Darek.

But don't worry. We'll divorce in... '95.

You'll stay with that slut I've caught you with.

I'll meet Kuba... Florka'll admire him more than you.

By saying so, you activate bad energy.

What Florka?

Our daughter Florka.

Are you pregnant?

Hence the moods!

She was to be Karen!

Actually, I'm not pregnant. That's the problem.

You aren't pregnant.

Do you want...

I want Florka.

All right, let her be Florka.

So you love me, right? Good.

So you won't go!

Zbysiu! Hi, pal! Of course, we're going.

I get awfully lost.

I've cleared everything with Zosia.

She is wise and understands that men have hobbies!

Till tomorrow. Bye.

<i>Kuba, Florka, where are you?</i>

<i>- In the kitchen.</i> <i>- It won't hurt? And no infection?</i>

No. Oxygen in this water is liberated under pressure

and the bacteria have no chances.

- Careful, Kuba. - He knows everything.

Except the whereabouts of the Spanish gold.

- What happened to it? - Erudites, forget it.

- Does it hurt? - Quiet, I'm talking.

When the civil war started in Spain...

the Republicans sent a part of their gold reserves to Odessa.

- Give me that. - Wait.

- To the Russkies? - No, the Bolsheviks...

Crazy?

They thought it'd be safer there.

- They were to get tanks. - How much was it?

Not many tanks, but a 500,000 dollars of gold.

The fourth biggest reserve in the world.

- What happened to it? - Ask Putin.

- Who? - OK. Go now.

Watch out over there!

Kuba!

- Hello! - Hello.

The story of the origin of the film is quite obvious

if not banal, so to speak.

While on a festival in Moscow,

I was offered to make this film.

When an opportunity knocks, why not?

Odessa to filmmakers is a magic city.

Why magic?

You know - Izaak Babel "Benia Shout",

Bulgakov, Eisenstein and "The Battleship Potemkin", you understand...

Was the film to be called Sickle and Hammering?

Yes, it's true.

Why is it called differently?

Answer it yourself.

Any other questions? Wiser ones?

When it comes to Odessa, one thing interests me.

In 1936, during the civil war, the Republican Spain

deposited its gold reserves, worth over a 500,000 dollars, in Odessa.

The gold never returned to Spain. I wonder what happened to it?

The question is certainly not for our guests...

Excuse me, what paper do you represent?

Gazeta Wyborcza.

Never heard of... Who invited you here?

Where did you come from?

Due to a time warp, but it's a long story.

Thank you, Ms... Any more questions?

Mr. Skucha, please!

I'd like to say hello to Mr. Kuba Radecki.

I admire your scripts!...

It's nice. Thank you very much...

I've only penned one, but thanks, anyway...

Since I have the floor, I'd like to ask,

why aren't you in Canada on a scholarship?

I'm leaving next week... How do you know?

I know a lot about you! My name's Zosia Albrecht

and I'd like you to remember me.

Ladies and gentlemen,

let me emphasize

that a cooperation with the Soviet Film industry

is very important to the Polish cinema,

a chance for a perestroika in this field.

Is this supposed to be an economy?

Don't you see what those red spiders

have done to this country, the agriculture and industry?

Shortage of butter?! No butter in an agricultural country?

In 10 years we'll have butter so expensive that it'll pay to buy it abroad.

Yes? And the situation in the meat market?

Even worse. A lot of meat, but nobody will eat it

because of the mad cow disease and the bird flu...

Don't believe this crap.

I've been to Moscow and the GDR. And saw how solid the communism is!

It won't fall apart in the nearest 200 years!

Just like this lock!

Thank you. You've been very helpful.

The pay is 1,200 zloty.

There'll be butter and meat, but nobody will need them...

What else will there be?

Freedom, but nobody will notice it.

- Good bye, ma'am. - Good bye.

- Sweetie... - Yes?

Will you buy your cupcake a little car?

May be second hand?

- What is it? - Super from downstairs.

Your drain must've burst, cause it's flooding my apartment.

What drain? Moment.

It's dry in here. Nothing has burst!

Maybe under the bathtub? I have a plumber with me.

Let him take a look at that drain.

All right. Moment.

Cover yourself.

Coming!

What drain?

This.

Now you know why I don't love you...

- It's not what you think! - I'm seeing it.

I love you for sure.

You have your clothes packed outside.

Don't try to come back. I've changed the locks.

Bravo! Bravo! This is the way with men!

How could you do that to me, you pig?!

Some kind of curio city!

Curiosity rather.

Have you given it enough thought?

Yes, I have a week before Kuba leaves for Canada.

- What if you don't make it? - I'll follow him.

Marta has a friend in the Canadian Embassy.

- And the money? - I'll rent my house if need be.

You're in such despair?

- So he's finally noticed you. - I guess so.

But I can't go the whole hog. He'd think I'm a crazy nymphomaniac!

Why don't you have a heart-to-heart talk with him?

Like you had with me.

He may believe it?

Do you believe me?

I think you don't, but you're too kind to hurt me...

Oh, here it is!

May I help you?

I've shut myself out. The keys, passport, and ticket are inside.

- You have no spare keys? - Inside.

There's a window open upstairs.

Exactly. Upstairs...

- Where are those keys? - In the handbag...

You're climbing into my house?! I don't know you!

You have my moped as collateral.

The salt for my mouth - is that guitar blues

A few shortcuts too a couple of greenbacks...

No, no. Anything but that.

I can't give you much I can't give you much

Cause I don't have enough...

- What're you doing? - Let me in.

- No way. - It's also my house, dammit!

- You have the bedsitter. - Stop kidding, Zosia.

It's clear. Let's part company with class.

I'm awfully sorry for the whole thing.

I want to apologize.

Your fault. Why did you flirt with Miss Jeanette?

- Zosia! You don't know anything. - I know everything, Darek.

How about going hunting tomorrow?

A romantic outing. Just you and me.

I've rented a beauty of a lodge near Żagań.

No, Darek. Stop pestering me.

- I have nowhere to go. - The bedsitter.

- They've given me notice to vacate! - Rent another.

Give me the dog at least!

<i>From this place of such</i> <i>quality and significance</i>

<i>in our history, we connect</i> <i>with all our peers</i>

<i>in the Polish land</i> <i>wherever they are.</i>

<i>Be it in schools, colleges,</i> <i>or workstations.</i>

<i>What we've been weighing</i> <i>concerns each and everyone.</i>

<i>Every young Pole...</i>

- What're you looking for? - I can't find my passport.

Have you seen it or know where it is?

In a drawer, I think.

- Which drawer? - On Krucza Street...

In the Passport Office.

And this on top of all.

<i>... on a smaller outer scale,</i> <i>but sometimes</i>

<i>maybe on a larger</i> <i>inner scale...</i>

... and cannot return its Westerplatte...

<i>... that it cannot return its</i> <i>Westerplatte!</i>

<i>Can't return!</i>

But, this is live.

Exactly, but I've heard it already.

Now he'll say: enough for today.

<i>Enough for today.</i>

You believe me now?

I got you!

I've won.

- You distracted me. - I didn't say a word.

- You talk all the time. - You don't know how to lose.

I do.

May I ask you for a while?

- Let the kid sometimes win. - Too clever and will know it's phony.

- Lose once. Do it for me, OK? - OK. It's not educational, though.

It is. Kids should be brought up to be winners.

Ma'am psychologist, according to statistics,

psychologists make the most pedagogical mistakes.

Don't argue. Lose.

Once more?

I don't promise.

- A ticket to Żary. - 850 zloty.

Transfer in Zielona Góra.

- Next - To Kielce, please.

SOCIALISM YES! DISTORTIONS NO! (SOCIALISM ALSO NO!)

Stop!

Oh, it's you.

We should stop meeting in this way.

Yes? How should we start meeting, then?

I had the feeling in the office that we sparked.

Will you go along on a romantic outing?

- A younger lover is a tautology. - Yes? You heap praise.

In your case it's an oxymoron.

Yes? Maybe. Moron in English means an imbecile.

Where to, Pussy?

Zakopane.

I wanted to Kazimierz. So what? I'll change for Zakopane.

It's the wrong bus!

I can't go along with

someone who doesn't know what oxymoron is.

- You are his wife? - I wonder too.

So... please come on in.

I will if that woman leaves.

The lady is leaving. She is a wife, but not mine,

the wife of a friend of a friendly... hunt.

Spare us the details. Just let her leave.

- I'll wait in the kitchen. - Come with me.

Vodka?

- Pour it. <i>- It's over!</i>

<i>But why?</i>

I've gone through that too.

Wonderful of you to have come!

Really...

I couldn't think of a nicer surprise!

You should've decided to go along with me.

It would've been a romantic trip without this... misunderstanding.

Hush... You'll frighten away the game.

- I'm sorry. - Quiet.

Only the two of us.

But two hunters came along. One had a pregnant bitch.

How do you know, that Grabarek's bitch would litter?

How did you find me here? We were supposed to go to Żagań?!

I know everything. Party apparatchiki occupied the lodge.

You had to rent private lodgings in Żary.

So you knew everything?

Do you know the number of the winning lottery ticket?

It'd give me some advantage!

Zosia, are you drinking?

Are you drinking vodka?

You astound me!

This is just the beginning.

You came as you hadn't been able to stay without me.

So you love me...

and you won't leave me.

I love only you, Kuba.

Pregnancy test, please.

What do you want?!

A test to check if I'm pregnant.

You see it if you look at me.

Oh, darn it. I forget how benighted you are!

- Benighted?! - Backward.

Backward?!

ADVOCATE OFFICE

All right... now one of those indiscreet questions.

Shoot.

When did you stop cohabiting?

What's the best answer?

The truth.

Since, as you said...

your emotional bonds stopped, etc.

and so on.

It should've been half a year ago at least...

Put it down: 12 years ago.

Yes, but you've been married for 3 years?

Yes. I always have problems with that.

Write we haven't been cohabiting... for 2 years...

but maybe, for two and a half.

You file for divorce without pointing the guilty party?

No, it's all his fault.

All right then.

In the States, we'd take him to the cleaners,

but here I'll have to leave him socks at least.

Zosia, I know you're there!

<i>Please let me in.</i>

<i>I see you through the window sit and write something.</i>

What's the matter? What game are you playing?!

Why have you taken the car?!

Open up or I'll shoot through the locks.

Halo! Calm down, or I call the cops.

I'm awfully sorry.

My wife must've fallen asleep and I've forgotten the keys...

I live here only a week, but I know you're divorcing.

Do it in a civilized way. Some respect for the neighbors.

Sorry. Of course, you're right.

Since you know everything, how about a coffee to make up?

In another life.

- Zosia!!! - Hi.

Zosia, why here?

Come.

Miss Babs, a pregnancy test and the results on my desk.

You wait here.

My stupid boss doesn't get it that impregnation in vitro is the future.

He tells me to terminate my research,

- It's not gonna happen. - But it will happen!

Let's not talk about it.

How are things?

I've filed for divorce.

Oh mother!

I don't envy you.

Those partings, returns, crying, weeping. A nightmare.

In such a plight, you have to go out, to meet someone!

I got invited to Enamored Party. Let's go together.

To an Enamored Party? They'll take us for dykes!

It'd be an idea!

I prefer guys, but my dreamboat has another one

and pays me no attention.

Leave those stamps.

A fine guy, occupied, doesn't notice others.

What a pity...

We seem to be the only ones without partners.

That's the point. We'll find someone.

An Enamored Party! We're super gals!

Of course. Fantastic two married gals, including one pregnant.

Let's have a good time.

Shashlik for me, please.

- We're short of... - How come? I want shashlik!

No more. How about spare ribs or mutton?

And this?

It's rare. I've put it away for myself.

Please give it to me!

Don't argue. I'm a guest here and you're to wait on me!

Here.

Zosia!

Hi.

You know one another. Marta - Teresa - Jurek.

Hi.

- You alone? - And you?

I've come alone, but won't leave alone!

Cut the cocksure bit!

Let's have a drink.

Thanks a lot.

I'll find my husband tonight, which a fortune teller predicted!

That's where she is! For a 1,000 zloty a pop.

Do you want?

What? I can tell you the same for free.

She also said I'd be a great success

with a workmate in the future!

We'll have psychotherapeutic office in Warsaw in 10 years.

Forget it. It's not the US.

What will happen to me?

Your first child in vitro will be born in November.

Don't go to Bulgaria on holidays, or they'll rob your apartment.

You witch!

I told you about in vitro, but not about Bulgaria.

The one in glasses will be nominated for Oscar in '94 or '95

for a film he'll make in France.

And the one with his back to me will be my husband in 9 years.

Then go tell him! I'll do it!

Excuse me, if you're game for it, my friend tells fortunes!

Yes. 1,000 zloty a pop, by the entrance.

No, it's for free. I barged in, as you have special good news.

Yes... what, for instance?

- Something with Oscar for you... - That's my uncle's name.

... about a film in France.

Impossible... I've just got an offer... from France...

Zosia, come. Come on!

I must've seen you at a press conference?

Yes, the lady asked about the Spanish gold!

Does chiromancy know about me?

You'll have a private TV station in a few years.

Don't let your son go hiking in the mountains.

Iwo is crazy indeed about climbing. This is fantastic!

Three withes as if in Macbeth!

Excuse me, a call.

- Aren't you interested in the future? - I don't believe it.

I have three prophecies for you.

I feel honored. The first one?

You'll be asked to dance and won't be able to refuse...

- The first has come true. - And another one?

- We'll soon be married. - I'm not asking about the 3rd one.

It wasn't as funny as it was supposed to be.

A pity... But we'll be happy later.

Write the "Waiters" series you're considering!

It'll be a hit! The 3rd prophecy, that.

What series? It's not to be a series...

You have such a good time, I couldn't find you...

I wasn't hiding.

I saw it. Let's return home.

I have a headache and my stomach aches too.

They gave me a poisoned shashlik!

- I get you some pills, or drink vodka. - No vodka! We're going home!

Good night.

Bye.

Who was that woman?

Lidka? Just his wife. Very jealous.

- Could I offer you a drink? - Sure.

What happened?

He was to be divorced in '87... A flop.

Wait...

Sorry. I'm leaving...

Howdy, Darek.

You? Really? Third time is a charm!

I know what oxymoron is!

The same numbers? It's destiny.

- Shall we dance? - What for?

Hello. Mr. Kuba, I presume. Cutting in.

Zosia.

- You sure want it out? - Enough arguing.

- It emits bad energy. - I haven't felt it.

So, again, you think I'm crazy.

All right. Say it. You think I'm crazy, yes?

No I don't. But this is quite nice.

I don't want it, man! Don't you get it?

That it emits sorrow.

Let's take it to a second hand store to make someone happy.

Go ahead as you wish. I'm finished with it!

Good afternoon.

Good afternoon.

You're really stalking me.

Not today. I'm taking things to the laundry.

What're you doing with this dresser?

It was a present for my wife, but she hates it.

To leave it here? A beautiful XIX Century dresser?!

If it isn't liked, away with it.

- Really throwing it away? - Really.

- May I take it, then? - Of course. You want it packed?

Into my car if you could.

- Your wife won't be angry? - She's never liked it.

I hope you didn't have a hard time for the party?

What's this thing about prophesies?

- A joke?! - Sure.

I don't prophesy the future. I've lived through it.

- How did you lived through? - Normally.

I'm a bit tired telling about it, but no matter.

I had this time warp in 2000.

In 2000, we're a very happy married couple,

bringing up my daughter Florka I'm pregnant with,

who adores you.

I regret not to be younger and not meeting you earlier.

One day I'm 12 years younger in the year '87

with my ex I wouldn't want to be with

or even touch with a toilet brush.

But you're married. Seems things will stay that way.

And you think me crazy to boot.

Maybe not crazy but a bit... an eccentric person.

Still I don't know how to convince you that I'm telling the truth.

So you wanted to be younger and it happened?

I know it sounds awful.

If I wanted to be rich or to speak Japanese,

it wouldn't come true.

I'm a bit embarrassed, because...

I thought that...

if we finally meet,

then you'd...

drop everything for me...

- You would like a guy like that? - Yes.

But I have a wife.

But it's me. Zosia.

When are you leaving to Canada?

Tomorrow.

We would fail, anyway... I must wait for you.

I won't follow you like an idiot....

I'll wait. Worst case scenario -

we'll meet in '95 and get married a year later.

So we have some time, yes?

If you believed, it'd be different.

If I kissed a frog, it'd change into a queen.

- And when I kiss the queen, then...? - Right.

Thanks for the dresser, anyway.

I wish you a full success in Canada.

You too... in returning to the right time.

They got soiled a bit.

Luckily, I take them to the laundry, but don't collect them...

DRY CLEANING LAUNDRY CLEANING

Everything sucks now...

<i>- When can we talk?</i> - Aren't we now?

You won't forgive me?

- I've changed. <i>- Same here.</i>

Why so headstrong? You've never been such!

I know.

And you took my kindness for weakness of character.

- Let me return. <i>- No.</i>

Your divorce petition will misfire, anyway.

Why?

You said the breakup was 2 1/2 years ago.

Didn't we make love in Żary?

Just a sexual intercourse to impregnate me.

Speak for yourself. Like it or lump it, no way.

Not because of my fault.

We'll see.

You haven't given me all my things back...

<i>What?</i>

Hunting trophies and sports equipment!

I'll soon sent those.

- Send me the dumbbells at least! - All right...

That idiot won't leave me alone. It's dumbbells this time...

Has Mr. Kuba Radecki taken off to Canada?

How should I know? Canada is here.

Dumbbell! You had one when you were little...

- I know. - It's a real time warp!

Do you believe me?

I know it's impossible. You've always been so rational.

It fell out of the dress pocket... I couldn't reach you.

You didn't leave your phone number.

- Jake, goddammit, who's this woman? - Don't call me Jake!

- I'm Kuba's next wife. - My pleasure!

Thank God we have you back.

What happened?

You lost consciousness for a while. Your husband is coming.

My husband?

I don't want it. I'm divorcing him. Really.

You haven't taken off?

- Meaning? - To Canada.

- I ran there to see you off. - To Canada? Why?

What am I doing here?

You came to see off Marta... Will she be all right?

It often happens during pregnancy... Shortage of hemoglobin.

Are you pregnant?

- We're going to have a girl. - Florka will have a sister?

Florka? Who's got me with child?

I... I guess?

- Which is it? - Month?

- Year. - 2000.

I'm so happy I'm not younger!

We have moved in already.

- Excuse me? - Nothing.

Let's not tell Florka you fainted. She'd worry.

- You've left her alone? - Alone?

Florka!

Mom!

Florka!

Take the car next time.

Kuba and I were playing when you called one.

I'm sorry.

Zosia, darling! At last. We've been waiting...

My beloved grandma!

I know everything. Will you have tea?

I have the answer to your question.

- How much does the Trojan horse weigh? - Yes !

The answer is:

50 people inside and Odysseus.

Each in armor - about 100 kilo

times 51 - 5,100.

Since the horse weighed about 12, 000 it's...

Seventeen thousand and a hundred altogether.

AN ACCIDENT NEAR SANATORIUM. A BUS CRASHED. NO FATALITIES.

I've won!

Dad! It's not pedagogical.

- Kids are brought up to be winners. - Then win!

To my father