Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:01,602 --> 00:00:02,370
Everybody Hates Chris #026
"Everybody Hates a Liar"
Closed Captioned
2
00:00:02,403 --> 00:00:03,637
(Berlin's "No More Words"
playing)
3
00:00:03,671 --> 00:00:06,340
CHRIS ROCK:
Tasha Clarkson was the new
girl next door.
4
00:00:06,374 --> 00:00:08,542
Unlike just about every other
girl in the neighborhood,
5
00:00:08,576 --> 00:00:09,743
she didn't hate me.
6
00:00:09,777 --> 00:00:10,744
Hi, Chris.
Hey, Tasha.
7
00:00:10,778 --> 00:00:13,547
I always tried to play it
cool around her,
8
00:00:13,581 --> 00:00:15,249
but every time she came
out the door,
9
00:00:15,283 --> 00:00:16,517
it looked like this...
10
00:00:16,550 --> 00:00:18,786
(cheering and applause)
11
00:00:20,821 --> 00:00:23,091
But Tasha's grandmother was one
of the strictest parents
12
00:00:23,124 --> 00:00:24,625
on the block.
13
00:00:24,658 --> 00:00:27,561
Where you going
dressed like that?
14
00:00:27,595 --> 00:00:30,098
Grandma, I have on
everything but gloves.
15
00:00:30,131 --> 00:00:31,599
Put some gloves on.
16
00:00:31,632 --> 00:00:32,700
(scoffs)
17
00:00:32,733 --> 00:00:34,635
Showing your hands to people.
18
00:00:34,668 --> 00:00:36,770
And it was 79 degrees.
19
00:00:36,804 --> 00:00:38,739
So I figured the smartest
thing to do
20
00:00:38,772 --> 00:00:41,175
was to just leave Tasha alone.
21
00:00:41,209 --> 00:00:43,777
(knocking)
22
00:00:43,811 --> 00:00:45,646
Chris, come quick. I need you.
23
00:00:45,679 --> 00:00:47,715
So much for that plan.
24
00:00:47,748 --> 00:00:49,217
(screaming)
25
00:00:49,250 --> 00:00:51,752
Do you see it?!
Chris, do you see it?!
26
00:00:51,785 --> 00:00:53,787
Oh, yeah, I see it.
27
00:00:53,821 --> 00:00:56,657
But what do you want
me to do with it?
28
00:00:56,690 --> 00:00:57,825
(screaming)
29
00:00:57,858 --> 00:00:59,227
(screaming)
30
00:00:59,260 --> 00:01:01,329
Get it out!
31
00:01:01,362 --> 00:01:03,764
Get it out of my closet!
Okay, okay, okay.
Stop screaming please.
32
00:01:03,797 --> 00:01:05,299
Stop, stop...
33
00:01:05,333 --> 00:01:07,368
She's screaming like
the mouse had a gun.
34
00:01:21,215 --> 00:01:22,416
Thank you.
35
00:01:22,450 --> 00:01:24,418
No problem.
36
00:01:24,452 --> 00:01:27,255
To you, that just looked
like a kiss on the cheek,
37
00:01:27,288 --> 00:01:29,657
but to me it felt
like this...
38
00:01:29,690 --> 00:01:32,092
(romantic music swelling)
39
00:01:34,495 --> 00:01:36,664
Yo.
40
00:01:36,697 --> 00:01:38,566
Little dude from
across the street.
41
00:01:38,599 --> 00:01:41,269
Come here.
42
00:01:41,302 --> 00:01:43,671
Listen, man, I don't
have any money.
43
00:01:43,704 --> 00:01:45,206
I don't want your money,
little dude.
44
00:01:45,239 --> 00:01:46,840
I want to know how
you got Tasha.
45
00:01:46,874 --> 00:01:48,609
Got Tasha what?
46
00:01:48,642 --> 00:01:50,878
Come on, little dude.
I saw that.
47
00:01:50,911 --> 00:01:53,714
Every little dude on the block
been trying to get next to her.
48
00:01:53,747 --> 00:01:55,683
Little dude from up
on the third floor,
49
00:01:55,716 --> 00:01:57,518
little dude from
around the corner,
50
00:01:57,551 --> 00:01:59,520
little dude with
the funny leg,
51
00:01:59,553 --> 00:02:01,522
little dude with
the little loft,
52
00:02:01,555 --> 00:02:04,558
little dude that be
with big dude... and Kenny.
53
00:02:04,592 --> 00:02:06,527
Now I know why
they can't get nowhere.
54
00:02:06,560 --> 00:02:09,863
'Cause little dude from across
the street is on the case.
55
00:02:09,897 --> 00:02:11,565
Now why you ain't
tell nobody?
56
00:02:11,599 --> 00:02:12,733
Hey, well, you know.
57
00:02:12,766 --> 00:02:14,702
That's what you said when you
didn't want to lie,
58
00:02:14,735 --> 00:02:15,936
but you didn't want
to tell the truth.
59
00:02:15,969 --> 00:02:18,306
I underestimated
you, little dude.
60
00:02:18,339 --> 00:02:19,773
I ain't think you
had it in you.
61
00:02:19,807 --> 00:02:22,643
Tasha. Mean as her
grandmom is.
62
00:02:22,676 --> 00:02:25,246
You a bad man,
little dude.
63
00:02:25,279 --> 00:02:26,447
Just do me a favor.
64
00:02:26,480 --> 00:02:27,615
Don't tell anybody?
65
00:02:27,648 --> 00:02:29,483
It's between me and you.
66
00:02:29,517 --> 00:02:32,220
(chuckles):
Little dude from
across the street.
67
00:02:32,253 --> 00:02:33,721
Mackin'.
68
00:02:33,754 --> 00:02:36,290
I should have told him the
truth that nothing happened,
69
00:02:36,324 --> 00:02:37,925
but, hey, well, you know.
70
00:02:46,267 --> 00:02:47,968
* Oh... make it funky now!
71
00:02:48,001 --> 00:02:51,972
Captioning sponsored by
CBS Paramount
Network Television
72
00:03:10,891 --> 00:03:13,827
CHRIS:
My father never spent money
on himself.
73
00:03:13,861 --> 00:03:16,797
So to get the things he liked,
he used trading stamps.
74
00:03:16,830 --> 00:03:19,767
These weren't the kind of
stamps you put on an envelope.
75
00:03:19,800 --> 00:03:21,802
They were the kind of stamps
you put in books
76
00:03:21,835 --> 00:03:24,705
and could redeem for stuff
that you'd never buy with cash.
77
00:03:24,738 --> 00:03:25,873
Like a bumper pool table...
78
00:03:25,906 --> 00:03:27,875
Oh, yes!
79
00:03:27,908 --> 00:03:31,445
...electro energy ball...
80
00:03:31,479 --> 00:03:32,946
My father wished he could use
trading stamps
81
00:03:32,980 --> 00:03:33,947
to pay for everything.
82
00:03:33,981 --> 00:03:35,383
He needs
a new heart.
83
00:03:35,416 --> 00:03:36,950
Is it in the catalog?
84
00:03:36,984 --> 00:03:38,586
85,000 stamps.
85
00:03:38,619 --> 00:03:39,920
Get that boy
into surgery.
86
00:03:41,722 --> 00:03:43,691
Do they still have that
golden boomerang?
87
00:03:43,724 --> 00:03:45,459
We ain't getting no
golden boomerang.
88
00:03:45,493 --> 00:03:46,894
We getting a new
refrigerator.
89
00:03:46,927 --> 00:03:48,596
What's wrong with
the refrigerator?
90
00:03:48,629 --> 00:03:50,298
The thermostat
is broken.
91
00:03:50,331 --> 00:03:52,266
The freezer's too cold,
the refrigerator's too hot.
92
00:03:52,300 --> 00:03:54,034
It melted the ice cream
and froze the cheese.
93
00:03:54,067 --> 00:03:56,270
I thought we were going
to get something fun.
94
00:03:56,304 --> 00:03:57,871
Eating ain't fun?
Try not eating.
95
00:03:57,905 --> 00:03:58,906
Whatever we get...
96
00:03:58,939 --> 00:04:01,008
A new refrigerator.
97
00:04:01,041 --> 00:04:02,543
...we're gonna have
to do it soon.
98
00:04:02,576 --> 00:04:03,844
The paper said the catalog
store's closing.
99
00:04:03,877 --> 00:04:06,514
We got to redeem all these
by the weekend.
100
00:04:06,547 --> 00:04:08,816
If I have any stamps left,
I'm going to get this.
101
00:04:08,849 --> 00:04:10,284
What?
102
00:04:10,318 --> 00:04:12,052
An electric
ping-pong table?
103
00:04:12,085 --> 00:04:13,987
It keeps score
automatically.
104
00:04:14,021 --> 00:04:17,257
Now you know you're too big
to be playing ping-pong.
105
00:04:25,833 --> 00:04:27,301
Can we use the sponge instead?
106
00:04:27,335 --> 00:04:29,036
You know how much
a sponge costs?
107
00:04:29,069 --> 00:04:30,804
Less than a new tongue.
108
00:04:32,506 --> 00:04:36,076
Oh, that's one cent
worth of stamp.
109
00:04:36,109 --> 00:04:37,778
Chris, give me the tape.
110
00:04:37,811 --> 00:04:40,548
What my father didn't realize
was that I had to use
111
00:04:40,581 --> 00:04:43,417
two cents worth of tape to
repair one cent worth of stamp.
112
00:04:43,451 --> 00:04:45,886
Hey, Mom, you want to watch
The Ropers with me?
113
00:04:47,421 --> 00:04:47,888
Oh, no, baby, I'm tired.
114
00:04:49,790 --> 00:04:50,958
I've been working all day,
115
00:04:50,991 --> 00:04:52,560
and after I finish
helping Tonya
116
00:04:52,593 --> 00:04:54,428
I got to go
fold clothes.
117
00:04:54,462 --> 00:04:55,529
Oh, okay.
118
00:04:55,563 --> 00:04:56,897
I'll watch it with you.
119
00:04:56,930 --> 00:04:58,198
No, thanks.
120
00:04:58,231 --> 00:05:00,501
The only thing Drew liked more
than watching The Ropers
121
00:05:00,534 --> 00:05:04,004
was watching The Ropers
with my mother.
122
00:05:04,037 --> 00:05:06,574
I hadn't said that anything
really happened
123
00:05:06,607 --> 00:05:07,908
between me and Tasha,
124
00:05:07,941 --> 00:05:09,943
but not saying anything
was almost worse.
125
00:05:09,977 --> 00:05:13,614
Hey, Chris.
Hey, Tasha.
126
00:05:13,647 --> 00:05:14,915
Hey, Tasha,
how you doing?
127
00:05:15,849 --> 00:05:16,950
Man, you better
leave her alone.
128
00:05:16,984 --> 00:05:18,051
Isn't that right,
little dude?
129
00:05:18,085 --> 00:05:19,853
Hey, well, you know.
130
00:05:19,887 --> 00:05:21,955
I know.
131
00:05:21,989 --> 00:05:24,792
I wasn't saying a word
about me and Tasha,
132
00:05:24,825 --> 00:05:26,794
and yet, it was all over
Bed-Stuy.
133
00:05:26,827 --> 00:05:28,996
Girl, little Tasha
who just moved in?
134
00:05:29,029 --> 00:05:30,498
That's right.
135
00:05:30,531 --> 00:05:31,732
You know what else
I heard?
136
00:05:31,765 --> 00:05:33,367
I heard she and Chris
were right outside
137
00:05:33,401 --> 00:05:34,635
on the street kissing.
138
00:05:34,668 --> 00:05:35,869
Ooh, girl, was it
tongue kissing?
139
00:05:35,903 --> 00:05:37,004
Right down
to the throat.
140
00:05:37,037 --> 00:05:38,706
Ooh, I didn't know
she was like that.
141
00:05:38,739 --> 00:05:39,840
You wasn't supposed to know.
Hmm.
142
00:05:39,873 --> 00:05:42,710
Not only Chris have Tasha,
but he got three other women.
143
00:05:42,743 --> 00:05:43,944
Hey, ain't nothing
wrong with that.
144
00:05:43,977 --> 00:05:46,547
The Good Book says
"Be fruitful and prosper."
145
00:05:46,580 --> 00:05:47,548
Yes, Lord.
146
00:05:47,581 --> 00:05:48,849
Got any ashes
in this?
147
00:05:48,882 --> 00:05:50,050
No.
148
00:05:50,083 --> 00:05:52,986
Man, I heard Tasha caught
Chris cheating
149
00:05:53,020 --> 00:05:54,622
with Valerie Simpson.
150
00:05:54,655 --> 00:05:56,924
Nick Ashford
gonna kill him.
151
00:05:56,957 --> 00:05:59,159
Hiyeh...
152
00:05:59,192 --> 00:06:01,529
Notice how Nick Ashford
and Verdine White
153
00:06:01,562 --> 00:06:02,630
look just alike?
154
00:06:02,663 --> 00:06:04,932
Verdine White from
the liquor store,
155
00:06:04,965 --> 00:06:07,034
or Verdine White from
Earth, Wind and Fire?
156
00:06:07,067 --> 00:06:10,170
It's the same guy.
157
00:06:10,203 --> 00:06:12,005
What?
158
00:06:12,039 --> 00:06:13,206
The story was taking off,
159
00:06:13,240 --> 00:06:16,109
and for the first time
I was trying to play it down.
160
00:06:16,143 --> 00:06:17,478
You kissed Tasha?
161
00:06:17,511 --> 00:06:19,447
Well, technically,
she kissed me.
162
00:06:19,480 --> 00:06:20,881
And it wasn't
a "kiss" kiss.
163
00:06:20,914 --> 00:06:22,716
She just kissed me
on the cheek.
164
00:06:22,750 --> 00:06:24,485
Which cheek?
This one.
165
00:06:24,518 --> 00:06:25,753
When did all
this happen?
166
00:06:25,786 --> 00:06:27,621
Yesterday.
She was scared
of a mouse
167
00:06:27,655 --> 00:06:29,957
and I went in
to go get it for her.
168
00:06:29,990 --> 00:06:31,224
Then she gave me
a quick peck.
169
00:06:31,258 --> 00:06:34,562
I was saying that, but I knew
Greg was thinking this...
170
00:06:34,595 --> 00:06:38,198
(sultry R&B music plays)
171
00:06:38,231 --> 00:06:40,100
Wow, you are in there.
172
00:06:40,133 --> 00:06:42,069
Hey, well, you know.
173
00:06:42,102 --> 00:06:43,837
No, I really
don't know.
174
00:06:43,871 --> 00:06:45,673
Greg didn't even have
a vicarious thrill
175
00:06:45,706 --> 00:06:47,074
till he was 22.
176
00:06:47,107 --> 00:06:49,176
Just do me a favor--
don't tell anybody.
177
00:06:49,209 --> 00:06:50,711
Who would I tell?
178
00:06:50,744 --> 00:06:52,946
He would tell everybody.
179
00:06:52,980 --> 00:06:54,748
Hey, Chris.
Hey, Chris.
180
00:06:54,782 --> 00:06:56,450
And I mean everybody.
181
00:06:56,484 --> 00:06:58,085
BOTH:
Hi, Chris.
182
00:06:58,118 --> 00:07:00,721
Even Caruso gave me
some respect.
183
00:07:00,754 --> 00:07:03,557
Hey, Lakeside, I didn't
know you had it in you.
184
00:07:03,591 --> 00:07:06,527
Well, aren't you just
a little Sweet Sweetback.
185
00:07:06,560 --> 00:07:08,061
Hey, well, you know.
186
00:07:08,095 --> 00:07:10,097
Who knew that the secret
for a guy getting girls
187
00:07:10,130 --> 00:07:11,965
is for a guy to get a girl?
188
00:07:15,035 --> 00:07:17,805
While I was getting more
attention than I could handle,
189
00:07:17,838 --> 00:07:19,239
Drew wasn't getting
any at all.
190
00:07:19,272 --> 00:07:21,475
Hey, Mom, could you help
me with my homework?
191
00:07:21,509 --> 00:07:22,876
Oh, baby, I'm tired.
192
00:07:22,910 --> 00:07:24,712
I got to sort clothes
and do laundry.
193
00:07:24,745 --> 00:07:27,781
Can't Chris help you
when he gets home?
194
00:07:27,815 --> 00:07:29,750
I guess.
195
00:07:29,783 --> 00:07:33,453
Drew hadn't looked that sad
since E.T. went home.
196
00:07:35,022 --> 00:07:36,824
What?
197
00:07:36,857 --> 00:07:38,225
Okay, what?
198
00:07:38,258 --> 00:07:40,961
I'm just trying
to figure you out.
199
00:07:40,994 --> 00:07:42,129
Here I'm thinking,
200
00:07:42,162 --> 00:07:43,964
your middle name
is "Mr. Lonely."
201
00:07:43,997 --> 00:07:46,800
Come to find out
it's "Lady-Killer," huh?
202
00:07:46,834 --> 00:07:47,901
I'm not a lady-killer.
203
00:07:47,935 --> 00:07:49,603
Yeah, I wasn't either.
That's how come
204
00:07:49,637 --> 00:07:51,271
I got divorced
as many times as I did.
205
00:07:51,304 --> 00:07:53,607
Look, when
your time comes,
206
00:07:53,641 --> 00:07:55,709
get you a pre-nup.
207
00:07:55,743 --> 00:07:56,977
I don't have anything.
208
00:07:57,010 --> 00:07:58,078
Well, they'll
take that, too.
209
00:07:58,111 --> 00:07:59,713
You got that right.
210
00:07:59,747 --> 00:08:01,715
Hi, Chris.
211
00:08:01,749 --> 00:08:03,216
How you doing?
212
00:08:03,250 --> 00:08:04,985
Who are you?
213
00:08:05,018 --> 00:08:07,187
Diedre, but you can
call me Dee-Dee.
214
00:08:07,220 --> 00:08:08,856
This is Shavonda.
215
00:08:10,991 --> 00:08:12,025
What's this?
216
00:08:12,059 --> 00:08:13,260
My phone number.
217
00:08:13,293 --> 00:08:14,962
So I can call you?
218
00:08:14,995 --> 00:08:16,063
Yeah.
219
00:08:16,096 --> 00:08:17,230
You know, I heard about
220
00:08:17,264 --> 00:08:18,632
you and Tasha.
221
00:08:18,666 --> 00:08:19,933
Hey, well, you know.
222
00:08:19,967 --> 00:08:21,769
(clearing throat)
223
00:08:21,802 --> 00:08:22,870
Hey, well, you know what?
224
00:08:22,903 --> 00:08:24,838
Hi, Tasha.
225
00:08:24,872 --> 00:08:26,006
Don't "Hi, Tasha" me.
226
00:08:26,039 --> 00:08:28,542
Hey, well, you know what?
227
00:08:28,576 --> 00:08:30,143
What were you gonna
say about me, Chris?
228
00:08:30,177 --> 00:08:33,747
You have something to say,
say it to my face.
229
00:08:33,781 --> 00:08:36,216
I want my mama!
230
00:08:38,185 --> 00:08:40,721
The only person who hadn't
heard about me and Tasha
231
00:08:40,754 --> 00:08:41,922
was my mother.
232
00:08:41,955 --> 00:08:43,223
But that was about to change.
233
00:08:43,256 --> 00:08:45,125
Hello, Louise.
How you doing?
234
00:08:45,158 --> 00:08:47,027
You keep
235
00:08:47,060 --> 00:08:49,162
your nasty little
nappy-headed son
236
00:08:49,196 --> 00:08:51,832
away from my granddaughter.
237
00:08:51,865 --> 00:08:53,166
That's how I'm doing.
238
00:08:53,200 --> 00:08:55,135
That look means all seven
of the words
239
00:08:55,168 --> 00:08:56,403
you can't say on television.
240
00:08:56,436 --> 00:09:00,240
Because this is a family show,
all she can say is this...
241
00:09:00,273 --> 00:09:01,642
Excuse me?
242
00:09:01,675 --> 00:09:04,244
Let me slow
it down for you.
243
00:09:04,277 --> 00:09:06,313
Keep...
244
00:09:06,346 --> 00:09:10,651
your nasty little
nappy-headed son...
245
00:09:10,684 --> 00:09:13,186
away... from my granddaughter.
246
00:09:13,220 --> 00:09:16,023
Okay, Louise, first of all,
247
00:09:16,056 --> 00:09:18,826
I don't know what
you're talking about.
248
00:09:18,859 --> 00:09:21,194
Second of all, I suggest
you watch your tone.
249
00:09:21,228 --> 00:09:24,998
I suggest you watch your son.
250
00:09:25,032 --> 00:09:30,671
Louise, I'm going to assume that
you have not lost your mind.
251
00:09:30,704 --> 00:09:31,972
All right.
252
00:09:32,005 --> 00:09:34,141
There's less anger
in the Middle East.
253
00:09:34,174 --> 00:09:37,945
So exactly what is it
that you're talking about?
254
00:09:37,978 --> 00:09:41,949
Your son was in my house
255
00:09:41,982 --> 00:09:44,251
with my granddaughter
256
00:09:44,284 --> 00:09:46,353
when I wasn't home.
257
00:09:46,386 --> 00:09:49,222
And then went around
the neighborhood
258
00:09:49,256 --> 00:09:52,993
and talked about her like
she was some kind of tramp.
259
00:09:53,026 --> 00:09:54,227
Chris?
260
00:09:54,261 --> 00:09:56,864
No, Kareem Abdul-Jabbar.
261
00:09:56,897 --> 00:09:59,299
Yes, Chris.
262
00:09:59,332 --> 00:10:03,370
I don't know how he wormed
himself into my house,
263
00:10:03,403 --> 00:10:05,205
but I'll tell you this--
264
00:10:05,238 --> 00:10:07,641
if it happens again,
265
00:10:07,675 --> 00:10:11,679
there's going to be a problem.
266
00:10:11,712 --> 00:10:15,215
"Problem" is a polite word
for "ass-kicking."
267
00:10:18,952 --> 00:10:20,287
ROCHELLE:
Chris!
268
00:10:20,320 --> 00:10:21,855
CHRIS:
Uh-oh.
269
00:10:23,323 --> 00:10:25,793
Why is Miss Clarkson
talking about...?
270
00:10:25,826 --> 00:10:27,394
Boy, turn around
before I smack a face
271
00:10:27,427 --> 00:10:29,362
onto the back of your head.
272
00:10:29,396 --> 00:10:31,264
Why is
273
00:10:31,298 --> 00:10:32,700
Miss Clarkson talking
about you
274
00:10:32,733 --> 00:10:34,768
in her house with Tasha,
and it's all
275
00:10:34,802 --> 00:10:36,269
over the neighborhood?
276
00:10:36,303 --> 00:10:38,171
I do not appreciate
the whole neighborhood
277
00:10:38,205 --> 00:10:39,707
knowing something
about my child,
278
00:10:39,740 --> 00:10:41,341
and I'm the last to find out.
279
00:10:41,374 --> 00:10:44,678
My mother hated being the last
to find out about anything.
280
00:10:46,379 --> 00:10:50,718
ALL:
Surprise!
281
00:10:50,751 --> 00:10:53,353
Why am I the last to know?
282
00:10:53,386 --> 00:10:55,723
Congratulations.
You're pregnant.
283
00:10:55,756 --> 00:10:57,157
That's great!
284
00:10:57,190 --> 00:11:00,961
Pregnant?! Why am
I the last to know?
285
00:11:00,994 --> 00:11:02,029
What's going on?
286
00:11:02,062 --> 00:11:03,263
That's what
I'm trying to find out.
287
00:11:03,296 --> 00:11:05,766
Miss Clarkson said that Chris
was in her house with Tasha.
288
00:11:05,799 --> 00:11:07,367
Doing what?
CHRIS:
Nothing.
289
00:11:07,400 --> 00:11:09,002
She asked me to come over
because there
290
00:11:09,036 --> 00:11:11,304
was a mouse in her closet.
I got rid of it,
291
00:11:11,338 --> 00:11:14,041
and then we went
right back outside.
Getting rid of a mouse?
292
00:11:14,074 --> 00:11:15,275
Is that what
they're calling it nowadays?
293
00:11:15,308 --> 00:11:17,310
Are you an exterminator?
If you are,
294
00:11:17,344 --> 00:11:18,311
let me see your paycheck.
295
00:11:18,345 --> 00:11:19,379
No.
296
00:11:19,412 --> 00:11:20,914
Chris, I don't care
297
00:11:20,948 --> 00:11:22,449
if you were
over somebody's house
298
00:11:22,482 --> 00:11:25,886
getting rid of a mouse,
a spider, a roach, a tiger...
299
00:11:25,919 --> 00:11:27,354
I was just trying to help.
300
00:11:27,387 --> 00:11:28,856
Chris, please tell me.
301
00:11:28,889 --> 00:11:30,123
Is that all
that really happened?
302
00:11:30,157 --> 00:11:32,826
'Cause Miss Clarkson seems to
think that you were doing more
303
00:11:32,860 --> 00:11:34,361
than just getting rid
of a mouse, boy.
304
00:11:34,394 --> 00:11:39,499
Well, after we went outside,
she gave me a kiss on the cheek,
305
00:11:39,532 --> 00:11:41,334
and Jerome saw and,
next thing I know,
306
00:11:41,368 --> 00:11:42,369
it's all over the neighborhood.
307
00:11:42,402 --> 00:11:44,905
And you had nothing
to do with spreading that?
308
00:11:44,938 --> 00:11:48,475
Hey, well, you know.
309
00:11:48,508 --> 00:11:50,210
"Hey, well, you know"?
310
00:11:50,243 --> 00:11:51,912
Well, what is that
supposed to mean?
311
00:11:53,947 --> 00:11:57,184
Rochelle,
Chris and I need to talk
312
00:11:57,217 --> 00:11:59,452
for a minute.
313
00:11:59,486 --> 00:12:01,955
You putting me out?
314
00:12:01,989 --> 00:12:03,456
We need to have
a man-to-man talk.
315
00:12:03,490 --> 00:12:06,393
Okay, fine.
316
00:12:06,426 --> 00:12:07,494
Julius, the next
time somebody comes
317
00:12:07,527 --> 00:12:09,062
to this house with a problem,
318
00:12:09,096 --> 00:12:11,331
I'm gonna send them directly
to you. Is that okay?
319
00:12:11,364 --> 00:12:12,399
Huh?
320
00:12:12,432 --> 00:12:14,301
All right.
321
00:12:24,077 --> 00:12:25,779
Sit down.
322
00:12:28,381 --> 00:12:30,984
Chris, if you're leading
people to believe
323
00:12:31,018 --> 00:12:32,953
you did something
with that girl you didn't do,
324
00:12:32,986 --> 00:12:34,354
then you need to fix it.
325
00:12:34,387 --> 00:12:35,989
But I never said
we did anything.
326
00:12:36,023 --> 00:12:38,458
Let me tell you
how to treat women, son.
327
00:12:38,491 --> 00:12:39,960
If you do something,
328
00:12:39,993 --> 00:12:42,195
you should never say anything.
329
00:12:42,229 --> 00:12:44,497
If you don't do something,
and you don't say anything,
330
00:12:44,531 --> 00:12:45,999
that means you did something
331
00:12:46,033 --> 00:12:48,035
even if you
did nothing.
332
00:12:48,068 --> 00:12:51,438
So, by not saying anything,
you're doing something,
333
00:12:51,471 --> 00:12:54,441
and you need to say something
and let people know
334
00:12:54,474 --> 00:12:56,409
you did nothing.
You understand?
335
00:12:56,443 --> 00:12:58,078
No.
336
00:12:58,111 --> 00:12:59,546
Yeah.
337
00:12:59,579 --> 00:13:01,448
All right.
338
00:13:01,481 --> 00:13:03,283
Hey, Tasha, wait up!
339
00:13:05,118 --> 00:13:07,921
What?
I just wanted
to tell you
that I was sorry.
340
00:13:07,955 --> 00:13:09,890
Why would you say
all those things about me?
341
00:13:09,923 --> 00:13:12,559
I just moved in and,
all of a sudden,
I have a reputation.
342
00:13:12,592 --> 00:13:14,261
I didn't say
anything, for real.
343
00:13:14,294 --> 00:13:17,164
Well, somebody
said something,
and it wasn't me.
344
00:13:22,435 --> 00:13:24,938
Yo, little dude.
Your old lady
mad at you, huh?
345
00:13:24,972 --> 00:13:27,540
She's not my old lady.
346
00:13:27,574 --> 00:13:29,509
What? Y'all broke up?
347
00:13:29,542 --> 00:13:31,544
Yeah, well...
348
00:13:31,578 --> 00:13:34,247
I know. I know.
349
00:13:36,016 --> 00:13:38,451
Hey, Mom, can you help me
make some Kool-Aid?
350
00:13:38,485 --> 00:13:40,487
Aw, Drew, I'm trying
to rest for 20 minutes
351
00:13:40,520 --> 00:13:42,589
before I have
to cook dinner.
352
00:13:42,622 --> 00:13:45,926
Here. You know how
to make Kool-Aid.
353
00:13:46,994 --> 00:13:49,396
Never mind. Forget it.
354
00:13:52,199 --> 00:13:53,967
What's wrong with him?
355
00:13:54,001 --> 00:13:57,037
I don't know,
but I'm about
to find out.
356
00:13:57,070 --> 00:13:58,906
We got any Kool-Aid?
357
00:13:58,939 --> 00:14:07,915
Mm-hmm.
358
00:14:07,948 --> 00:14:10,150
My mother had to find out
what was up
359
00:14:10,183 --> 00:14:12,352
before she had
to smack Drew down.
360
00:14:25,232 --> 00:14:28,268
Something you
want to talk about?
361
00:14:30,270 --> 00:14:31,471
Why do you
pay more attention
362
00:14:31,504 --> 00:14:33,373
to Chris and Tonya
than you do me?
363
00:14:33,406 --> 00:14:38,078
I don't do it
on purpose, baby.
364
00:14:38,111 --> 00:14:40,580
Well, then, how come
every time I ask you
to do something,
365
00:14:40,613 --> 00:14:42,615
you always make me
do it by myself?
366
00:14:42,649 --> 00:14:44,617
* The closer I get to you...
367
00:14:44,651 --> 00:14:47,254
Well, because you've
always been able
368
00:14:47,287 --> 00:14:48,922
to do things on your own.
369
00:14:48,956 --> 00:14:51,058
Doesn't mean
I love you any less.
370
00:14:52,325 --> 00:14:53,927
Sometimes
it feels like it.
371
00:14:53,961 --> 00:14:56,396
Oh, don't say that, Drew.
372
00:14:56,429 --> 00:14:57,564
I'm proud of you.
373
00:14:57,597 --> 00:15:00,667
* By giving me
all you've got... *
374
00:15:00,700 --> 00:15:04,004
I guess I don't see you
as being my baby anymore.
375
00:15:04,037 --> 00:15:05,605
You don't?
376
00:15:05,638 --> 00:15:07,540
Uh-uh.
377
00:15:07,574 --> 00:15:11,945
I look at you as a young man,
because you're so independent.
378
00:15:11,979 --> 00:15:14,114
I'm independent?
379
00:15:14,147 --> 00:15:15,582
Yeah.
380
00:15:15,615 --> 00:15:17,484
And you're funny.
381
00:15:17,517 --> 00:15:18,651
You're handsome.
382
00:15:18,685 --> 00:15:20,920
Oh, cool.
383
00:15:22,689 --> 00:15:25,058
So you going to be okay?
384
00:15:25,092 --> 00:15:27,961
Yeah.
385
00:15:27,995 --> 00:15:30,263
I'm sorry, Drew.
386
00:15:30,297 --> 00:15:32,065
I love you.
387
00:15:32,099 --> 00:15:33,666
I love you, too.
388
00:15:33,700 --> 00:15:36,203
Good. Come on, let's
make some Kool-Aid.
389
00:15:36,236 --> 00:15:38,505
Oh, and another thing.
390
00:15:38,538 --> 00:15:40,673
If you ever walk away
from me like that again,
391
00:15:40,707 --> 00:15:45,045
you going to need a wheelchair
to bring you back. Okay?
392
00:15:45,078 --> 00:15:48,581
Meanwhile, I had girl trouble
without having a girl.
393
00:15:48,615 --> 00:15:50,717
Hey, Tasha. Can I talk
to you for a second?
394
00:15:50,750 --> 00:15:52,152
No.
395
00:15:52,185 --> 00:15:53,520
Hey, why you acting
all stuck-up?
396
00:15:53,553 --> 00:15:54,687
I know Chris is cool
and everything,
397
00:15:54,721 --> 00:15:55,688
but you're too good for me?
398
00:15:55,722 --> 00:15:57,724
CHRIS:
Tasha!
399
00:16:01,394 --> 00:16:03,563
I want everyone
to listen to me!
400
00:16:03,596 --> 00:16:05,232
Tasha is
401
00:16:05,265 --> 00:16:07,434
not my girlfriend.
402
00:16:07,467 --> 00:16:08,601
She never was.
403
00:16:08,635 --> 00:16:10,737
I know everybody
thinks that something
404
00:16:10,770 --> 00:16:13,673
was going on between us,
but nothing happened.
405
00:16:13,706 --> 00:16:18,645
And not nothing something.
Nothing nothing.
406
00:16:18,678 --> 00:16:21,614
Tasha's a nice girl.
407
00:16:21,648 --> 00:16:23,416
She's not like that.
408
00:16:23,450 --> 00:16:25,252
I got rid of a mouse for her.
409
00:16:25,285 --> 00:16:28,721
Then she gave me a kiss on
the cheek and a hug. That's it.
410
00:16:28,755 --> 00:16:33,126
Tasha, I'm sorry.
411
00:16:33,160 --> 00:16:35,528
Now, would you all
412
00:16:35,562 --> 00:16:38,331
quit talking about this?
413
00:16:38,365 --> 00:16:41,168
Because there is nothing
to talk about.
414
00:16:41,201 --> 00:16:43,503
I wish there was
something to talk about.
415
00:16:43,536 --> 00:16:45,338
But there's not.
416
00:16:45,372 --> 00:16:46,706
Okay?
417
00:16:46,739 --> 00:16:51,744
* Girl, don't take
your love from me... *
418
00:16:51,778 --> 00:16:54,647
Get off of my car, fool!
419
00:16:54,681 --> 00:16:57,484
How did he know my nickname?
420
00:16:57,517 --> 00:16:59,619
I can't believe you
made the whole thing up.
421
00:16:59,652 --> 00:17:01,221
I didn't make
anything up.
422
00:17:01,254 --> 00:17:03,423
Everyone else did.
What do you expect
people to think
423
00:17:03,456 --> 00:17:04,524
with you running
around saying,
424
00:17:04,557 --> 00:17:06,759
"Yeah, well, you know"
to everything?
425
00:17:06,793 --> 00:17:08,728
That's why
I had to stop it.
426
00:17:08,761 --> 00:17:10,630
I thought you
were so in there.
427
00:17:10,663 --> 00:17:11,964
Everybody did.
428
00:17:11,998 --> 00:17:14,701
Listen, just don't say anything
to anybody. I want this to die.
429
00:17:14,734 --> 00:17:16,769
I won't say a word.
430
00:17:16,803 --> 00:17:19,472
This is going to stay
between you and me.
431
00:17:19,506 --> 00:17:20,640
All right.
432
00:17:20,673 --> 00:17:22,175
Just like before.
433
00:17:22,209 --> 00:17:23,176
Hey.
434
00:17:23,210 --> 00:17:24,544
BOTH:
Ew!
435
00:17:26,713 --> 00:17:28,281
How you guys doing?
436
00:17:28,315 --> 00:17:29,682
Shut up!
Shut up!
437
00:17:31,451 --> 00:17:34,454
You blew it,
cornbread.
438
00:17:34,487 --> 00:17:36,789
Some Sweetback
you are.
439
00:17:38,858 --> 00:17:40,593
I wasn't the only one
looking for redemption.
440
00:17:40,627 --> 00:17:42,295
Back at the catalog store,
441
00:17:42,329 --> 00:17:44,264
my father was taking
his sweet stamps back.
442
00:17:44,297 --> 00:17:45,832
I'm here to
redeem my stamps.
443
00:17:45,865 --> 00:17:46,866
What would you like?
444
00:17:46,899 --> 00:17:48,868
The olive green refrigerator.
445
00:17:48,901 --> 00:17:50,437
We're out of those.
446
00:17:50,470 --> 00:17:51,304
You have one in yellow?
447
00:17:51,338 --> 00:17:53,573
No. We're out
of the refrigerators.
448
00:17:53,606 --> 00:17:54,807
Well, what
about the stove?
449
00:17:54,841 --> 00:17:55,775
Gone.
450
00:17:55,808 --> 00:17:57,644
The sofa?
Uh-uh.
451
00:17:57,677 --> 00:17:59,679
Washing machine?
Nope.
452
00:17:59,712 --> 00:18:01,714
Electric ping-pong table?
Nada.
453
00:18:01,748 --> 00:18:02,782
Mini-Bake Oven?
Zilch.
454
00:18:02,815 --> 00:18:04,184
The golden boomerang?
The bishop
455
00:18:04,217 --> 00:18:05,818
just walked out
with the last one.
456
00:18:05,852 --> 00:18:07,187
Hello.
457
00:18:07,220 --> 00:18:09,356
So what do you have?
458
00:18:09,389 --> 00:18:13,593
Well, we got this.
459
00:18:13,626 --> 00:18:17,096
Oh, cool. Nice.
460
00:18:18,298 --> 00:18:19,799
This is a nice canoe.
461
00:18:19,832 --> 00:18:22,535
100,000 more stamps
and we could get a river.
462
00:18:26,873 --> 00:18:29,209
Julius, where you plan
on putting this canoe?
463
00:18:29,242 --> 00:18:32,379
I don't know. Somewhere.
464
00:18:39,886 --> 00:18:40,853
Where's the canoe?
465
00:18:40,887 --> 00:18:42,555
How did they untie it?
466
00:18:42,589 --> 00:18:44,891
When did they take it?
467
00:18:44,924 --> 00:18:47,794
They wouldn't have
taken a refrigerator.
468
00:18:47,827 --> 00:18:49,862
The next week, that's exactly
469
00:18:49,896 --> 00:18:51,898
how they stole
our new refrigerator.
470
00:18:51,931 --> 00:18:54,767
That's 4,652 books
worth of stamps!
471
00:18:54,801 --> 00:18:56,303
The word back on the block
472
00:18:56,336 --> 00:18:58,738
was that Tasha and I
had never done a thing,
473
00:18:58,771 --> 00:19:00,373
but sometimes you have
to hear things
474
00:19:00,407 --> 00:19:01,508
from the horse's mouth.
475
00:19:01,541 --> 00:19:02,509
Miss Clarkson?
476
00:19:02,542 --> 00:19:06,279
What do you want
with your little mannish behind?
477
00:19:06,313 --> 00:19:08,348
I wanted to apologize.
478
00:19:08,381 --> 00:19:11,518
What exactly is it
that you're apologizing for?
479
00:19:11,551 --> 00:19:13,820
Well, first, to Tasha
for letting all those people
480
00:19:13,853 --> 00:19:15,087
believe all that stuff
about her.
481
00:19:15,121 --> 00:19:19,326
And to you for going into your
house without your permission.
482
00:19:19,359 --> 00:19:21,461
Did your mother
send you over here to do that?
483
00:19:21,494 --> 00:19:22,462
Because, if she did...
484
00:19:22,495 --> 00:19:23,730
She didn't.
485
00:19:23,763 --> 00:19:27,234
You're not fooling anybody.
486
00:19:27,267 --> 00:19:28,868
I know you.
487
00:19:28,901 --> 00:19:30,537
I don't know what you do
488
00:19:30,570 --> 00:19:31,871
with these little fast girls
around here,
489
00:19:31,904 --> 00:19:33,840
but you're not going
to do that with Tasha.
490
00:19:35,275 --> 00:19:38,245
Miss Clarkson missed me
when Tasha started
491
00:19:38,278 --> 00:19:40,280
dating Bobby Brown.
492
00:19:44,016 --> 00:19:45,718
Chris?
493
00:19:47,654 --> 00:19:49,322
Thank you.
494
00:19:54,961 --> 00:19:57,230
Hey! Little dude
from across the street.
495
00:19:57,264 --> 00:20:00,267
Man, that's too bad
what happened with
you and Tasha.
496
00:20:00,300 --> 00:20:02,269
I told you,
nothing happened
with me and Tasha.
497
00:20:02,302 --> 00:20:04,771
Yeah, I know.
Let me hold a dollar.
498
00:20:04,804 --> 00:20:06,906
They say the truth
will set you free,
499
00:20:06,939 --> 00:20:08,775
but in my case
it cost a dollar.
500
00:20:08,808 --> 00:20:10,877
At least I still had
Dee Dee's phone number.
501
00:20:10,910 --> 00:20:12,412
Give me back
my phone number!
502
00:20:12,445 --> 00:20:14,514
You better not
have it memorized.
503
00:20:19,919 --> 00:20:23,256
* Everybody hates Chris.
504
00:20:23,290 --> 00:20:26,459
Captioned by
Media Access Group at WGBH
access, wgbh.org
32991
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Arabic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
Dutch
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish
Swedish
Tajik
Tamil
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof