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1
00:00:01,001 --> 00:00:02,543
- SUMMER: Bye, mom! Bye, Dad!
- MORTY: Drive carefully!
2
00:00:02,628 --> 00:00:03,795
Have fun, you two.
3
00:00:03,879 --> 00:00:06,464
Yes, we will have as
much fun as possible on our...
4
00:00:06,548 --> 00:00:08,591
Titanic-themed getaway.
5
00:00:08,676 --> 00:00:10,468
Let's lose the 'tude, please.
6
00:00:10,552 --> 00:00:12,261
It's supposed to be romantic.
7
00:00:12,346 --> 00:00:14,586
Speaking of disasters, Dad,
we are leaving you in charge.
8
00:00:14,640 --> 00:00:16,265
I know, c-can we wrap
this up?
9
00:00:16,350 --> 00:00:18,601
Morty and I [burps] have some
synthetic laser eels
10
00:00:18,686 --> 00:00:19,811
oxidizing in the garage.
11
00:00:19,895 --> 00:00:21,479
Hey, don't blow me off.
12
00:00:21,563 --> 00:00:23,314
I am drawing a line, okay?
13
00:00:23,399 --> 00:00:25,525
Any damage to this house
or these children
14
00:00:25,609 --> 00:00:27,568
when we get back, and...
15
00:00:27,653 --> 00:00:29,612
n-no more
adventures with Morty.
16
00:00:29,697 --> 00:00:31,781
Aw, geez, Rick, if my mom's
the one saying it,
17
00:00:31,865 --> 00:00:33,783
then you know it's pretty
serious this time.
18
00:00:33,867 --> 00:00:35,326
- BOTH: That's right.
- Wait. What?
19
00:00:35,411 --> 00:00:37,328
Listen, you have
my word as a caregiver,
20
00:00:37,413 --> 00:00:39,247
everything's gonna be fine.
21
00:00:39,331 --> 00:00:41,958
And if not, like you say, no
more adventures or whatever.
22
00:00:42,042 --> 00:00:43,751
It's like that old song
23
00:00:43,836 --> 00:00:45,795
"Blomp Blomp-a Noop Noop
A-Noop Noop Noop."
24
00:00:45,879 --> 00:00:48,047
Y-You guys know that song?
From Tiny Rogerts?
25
00:00:48,132 --> 00:00:49,632
You never heard of it?
26
00:00:49,717 --> 00:00:52,093
You know, the black effeminate
guy from the '50s?
27
00:00:52,177 --> 00:00:53,594
No-Nobody?
28
00:00:53,679 --> 00:00:55,638
A-All right, whatever.
Look, who cares?
29
00:00:55,723 --> 00:00:57,765
Just go on your stupid trip.
30
00:00:57,850 --> 00:01:00,184
Not one thing out of place.
31
00:01:00,269 --> 00:01:03,396
[ engine turns over ]
32
00:01:03,480 --> 00:01:06,149
Not a single thing.
33
00:01:10,612 --> 00:01:12,613
[ bubbling, crackling ]
34
00:01:16,577 --> 00:01:18,411
Well, we're past
the point of no return.
35
00:01:18,495 --> 00:01:19,871
I'm going to have a party.
36
00:01:51,779 --> 00:01:54,405
SUMMER: I found jello. Can you
sneak your mom's vodka?
37
00:01:54,490 --> 00:01:56,741
Yes, she does.
I saw it in your laundry room.
38
00:01:56,825 --> 00:01:59,577
Listen, you can't both be
in denial about it.
39
00:01:59,661 --> 00:02:01,245
Okay, bye.
- Summer!
40
00:02:01,330 --> 00:02:03,372
You can't throw a party!
Remember what mom said?
41
00:02:03,457 --> 00:02:04,832
Yeah, if anything
gets messed up,
42
00:02:04,917 --> 00:02:06,237
you and Grandpa Rick get
punished.
43
00:02:06,293 --> 00:02:07,493
I'm only a human being, Morty.
44
00:02:07,503 --> 00:02:09,462
Rick, tell Summer
she can't have a party!
45
00:02:09,546 --> 00:02:11,380
Uh, Summer, you can't
have a party.
46
00:02:11,465 --> 00:02:13,049
- [ scoffs ]
- Because [burps]
47
00:02:13,133 --> 00:02:14,717
I'm having
a party, b-i-i-i-itch!
48
00:02:14,802 --> 00:02:16,594
Oh, what?!
Rick, you can't!
49
00:02:16,678 --> 00:02:18,638
What do you mean
you're having a party?
50
00:02:18,722 --> 00:02:20,681
Are some Glip Glops
from the third dimension
51
00:02:20,766 --> 00:02:22,809
going to come over
and play cards or something?
52
00:02:22,893 --> 00:02:24,018
"Glip Glop?"
53
00:02:24,102 --> 00:02:25,686
You're lucky a Traflorkian
doesn't hear you say that.
54
00:02:25,771 --> 00:02:27,313
Is that like their
N-word?
55
00:02:27,397 --> 00:02:28,981
It's like the N-word
and the C-word had a baby
56
00:02:29,066 --> 00:02:30,983
and it was raised by
all the bad words for Jews.
57
00:02:31,068 --> 00:02:32,860
Listen, I think the
three of us could just,
58
00:02:32,945 --> 00:02:34,779
you know, have a nice
time, like, just hanging out,
59
00:02:34,863 --> 00:02:36,583
and, you know, doing
a little bonding and...
60
00:02:36,657 --> 00:02:38,324
Screw that.
This is my chance...
61
00:02:38,408 --> 00:02:40,159
to gain some footing
with the cool kids.
62
00:02:40,244 --> 00:02:42,620
That's why you party?
Boy, you really are 17.
63
00:02:42,704 --> 00:02:44,789
- Why do you party?
- To get [burps]...
64
00:02:44,873 --> 00:02:46,958
wr-wriggedy
wriggedy wrecked, son!
65
00:02:47,042 --> 00:02:49,836
Just keep your sci-fi friends
away from my awesome ones.
66
00:02:49,920 --> 00:02:52,129
Yeah, and you keep your
awesome friends away
67
00:02:52,214 --> 00:02:54,507
from my canapes.
68
00:02:54,591 --> 00:02:57,635
After dinner, Titanic2will
attach to the rail system
69
00:02:57,719 --> 00:02:59,011
near our replica iceberg,
70
00:02:59,096 --> 00:03:00,888
and the hydraulics
encased in these tubes
71
00:03:00,973 --> 00:03:03,724
will execute a controlled sink
into the icy depths.
72
00:03:03,809 --> 00:03:05,768
A rail system seems archaic
73
00:03:05,853 --> 00:03:08,354
for an attraction this
impressive.
74
00:03:08,438 --> 00:03:10,231
Are you sure the ship will sink?
75
00:03:10,315 --> 00:03:11,899
I can assure you the ship
will sink,
76
00:03:11,984 --> 00:03:13,818
as it has a thousand
times before.
77
00:03:13,902 --> 00:03:17,530
It is UN-unsinkable.
- Ooh!
78
00:03:17,614 --> 00:03:19,782
Look, it's the line for the bow!
79
00:03:19,867 --> 00:03:21,659
Jerry, I'd love to just
kick back
80
00:03:21,743 --> 00:03:23,494
with a margarita and read.
81
00:03:23,579 --> 00:03:25,454
Do you mind if I skip the whole
"King of the World" bit?
82
00:03:25,539 --> 00:03:27,540
Well, it's not
the "King of the World" bit.
83
00:03:27,624 --> 00:03:28,791
That's Jack and Fabrizio.
84
00:03:28,876 --> 00:03:31,085
This is where Rose says,
"I'm flying, Jack!"
85
00:03:31,169 --> 00:03:32,503
But whatever.
86
00:03:32,588 --> 00:03:33,713
I can be the only one
to do it alone.
87
00:03:33,797 --> 00:03:35,882
Well, what about her?
Excuse me, ma'am.
88
00:03:35,966 --> 00:03:37,967
Would you like to take
my place in line?
89
00:03:38,051 --> 00:03:40,344
I, uh... I could get
into trouble.
90
00:03:40,429 --> 00:03:42,138
We won't tell.
91
00:03:42,222 --> 00:03:45,266
So...
you're a Titanic fanatic?
92
00:03:45,350 --> 00:03:47,602
Oh, yes. I've worked here
since it opened,
93
00:03:47,686 --> 00:03:49,812
but I've never been able
to participate.
94
00:03:49,897 --> 00:03:51,731
Happy to help... Rose.
95
00:03:51,815 --> 00:03:53,482
[ giggles ]
96
00:03:53,567 --> 00:03:55,484
I love watching bukkake.
97
00:03:55,569 --> 00:03:57,695
I mean, like, I don't know if I
personally would ever do it...
98
00:03:57,779 --> 00:03:59,739
- Brad! Hey!
- Yo.
99
00:03:59,823 --> 00:04:02,283
Brad is here! Quick, make
my hair look drunk.
100
00:04:02,367 --> 00:04:04,785
Check it out.
Tammy's already drunk.
101
00:04:04,870 --> 00:04:07,496
Cool.
102
00:04:07,581 --> 00:04:09,540
The beacon was activated.
103
00:04:09,625 --> 00:04:12,376
Who is in danger?
- Ugh! Grandpa!
104
00:04:12,461 --> 00:04:13,920
Birdperson!
105
00:04:14,004 --> 00:04:15,671
I am pleased there is
no emergency.
106
00:04:15,756 --> 00:04:17,423
Oh, there's an emergency,
all right.
107
00:04:17,507 --> 00:04:18,966
A pussy emergency!
108
00:04:19,051 --> 00:04:20,843
When's the last time
you got laid, 'Pers?
109
00:04:20,928 --> 00:04:24,305
It has been a... challenging
mating season for Birdperson.
110
00:04:24,389 --> 00:04:26,432
Then it's time to get
your beak wet tonight, player.
111
00:04:26,516 --> 00:04:28,596
Go have some fun out there
Birdp... Bird... Birdperson.
112
00:04:28,602 --> 00:04:30,603
Oh, man, how many
people did you invite, Rick?
113
00:04:30,687 --> 00:04:35,066
Uh... people?
Mm, six.
114
00:04:35,150 --> 00:04:37,318
Yo! What up,
my Glip Glops?!
115
00:04:37,402 --> 00:04:38,861
Oh, man!
116
00:04:38,946 --> 00:04:41,197
[ electronic music plays ]
117
00:04:41,281 --> 00:04:43,783
[ breathing heavily ] Oh!
118
00:04:43,867 --> 00:04:46,661
Y-Y-You know there's
a garbage, right?
119
00:04:48,288 --> 00:04:49,956
Hey, uh, what the hell?!
120
00:04:50,040 --> 00:04:51,749
Ooh. That's why you never
invite a Floopy Doop
121
00:04:51,833 --> 00:04:55,002
and a Shmoopy Doop
to the same party.
122
00:04:55,087 --> 00:04:57,880
[ bed springs squeaking ]
123
00:04:57,965 --> 00:04:59,757
Oh, oh, g...
oh, that's disgusting!
124
00:04:59,841 --> 00:05:01,121
You guys are in my parents' bed!
125
00:05:01,176 --> 00:05:03,094
Oh. Sorry.
I'm not feeling too well.
126
00:05:03,178 --> 00:05:05,221
I just needed to lie down
for a bit.
127
00:05:05,305 --> 00:05:07,598
Oh. Okay. S-S-Sorry.
[ chuckles ]
128
00:05:07,683 --> 00:05:09,392
[ groans ]
129
00:05:09,476 --> 00:05:11,310
Oh, my god!
Are you kidding me?!
130
00:05:11,395 --> 00:05:14,939
The thing people don't
realize about the gear wars
131
00:05:15,023 --> 00:05:18,234
is that it was never really
about the gears at all.
132
00:05:18,318 --> 00:05:20,069
Uh-huh. Yeah.
No, no, to-totally.
133
00:05:20,153 --> 00:05:21,570
Rick, you gotta stop...
134
00:05:21,655 --> 00:05:23,280
Morty!
Have you met Gearhead?
135
00:05:23,365 --> 00:05:24,907
- Hey, how's...
- Morty here, he...
136
00:05:24,992 --> 00:05:26,792
he would love to hear
all about the Gear Wars.
137
00:05:26,868 --> 00:05:29,704
How familiar are you
with the gear wars, exactly?
138
00:05:29,788 --> 00:05:31,622
Uh... not at all.
139
00:05:31,707 --> 00:05:33,624
Oh, boy.
I envy you.
140
00:05:33,709 --> 00:05:37,962
Okay, it was about
754 years ago...
141
00:05:44,553 --> 00:05:47,388
Oh, hey, Morty! H-Have you met
my buddy Scropon?
142
00:05:47,472 --> 00:05:48,723
Not again, Rick.
143
00:05:48,807 --> 00:05:50,808
That last guy droned on for
20 minutes, you know?
144
00:05:50,892 --> 00:05:52,643
And meanwhile, the whole house
is being destroyed!
145
00:05:52,728 --> 00:05:54,478
Whoa, Morty, this guy's
entire planet was destroyed.
146
00:05:54,563 --> 00:05:56,105
Have a little perspective.
147
00:05:56,189 --> 00:05:58,399
Hey, Rick, squanchy party, bro!
148
00:05:58,483 --> 00:05:59,859
Aw! Squanchy!
149
00:05:59,943 --> 00:06:02,069
Is there a good place for me
to squanch around here?
150
00:06:02,154 --> 00:06:04,405
Squanchy, you can
squanch wherever you want, man.
151
00:06:04,489 --> 00:06:06,449
Mi casa es su casa, dawg!
152
00:06:06,533 --> 00:06:08,951
All right!
I like your squanch!
153
00:06:09,036 --> 00:06:11,245
Uh, Rick, what exactly
is "squanching"?
154
00:06:11,329 --> 00:06:13,080
Morty, listen...
we've had a lot
155
00:06:13,165 --> 00:06:14,832
of really cool adventures
over the last year,
156
00:06:14,916 --> 00:06:16,542
but it's time to relax.
157
00:06:16,626 --> 00:06:17,960
Yeah, if I relax now,
there might not
158
00:06:18,045 --> 00:06:19,420
even be any more adventures!
159
00:06:19,504 --> 00:06:21,047
Jesus, Morty, you're
bumming me out.
160
00:06:21,131 --> 00:06:22,715
Can't we just pretend like
everything's fine
161
00:06:22,799 --> 00:06:24,425
for a few hours,
enjoy ourselves,
162
00:06:24,509 --> 00:06:26,385
and then worry
about all this later?
163
00:06:26,470 --> 00:06:28,262
Yeah, that's easy
for you to say, Rick.
164
00:06:28,346 --> 00:06:30,264
You know, you like not
caring about stuff.
165
00:06:30,348 --> 00:06:33,893
You know, wh-wh-what's
in this for me?
166
00:06:33,977 --> 00:06:36,520
[ soft music plays ]
167
00:06:36,605 --> 00:06:39,398
[ indistinct conversations ]
168
00:06:39,483 --> 00:06:42,193
Jessica.
169
00:06:42,277 --> 00:06:43,986
Knock it off, Slow Mobius!
170
00:06:44,071 --> 00:06:45,821
Ha ha! Sorry, dude!
171
00:06:45,906 --> 00:06:49,909
I'm just trying to show off
my powers, bro!
172
00:06:49,993 --> 00:06:51,577
I can't believe she's here.
173
00:06:51,661 --> 00:06:53,245
Well, what are you
doing standing here, Morty?
174
00:06:53,330 --> 00:06:54,914
Go. Talk to her.
175
00:06:54,998 --> 00:06:56,248
Tonight, the only adventure
you're on
176
00:06:56,333 --> 00:06:58,084
is your cusping manhood.
177
00:06:58,168 --> 00:07:00,920
[ both laugh ]
178
00:07:01,004 --> 00:07:03,047
Oh, Rose.
179
00:07:03,131 --> 00:07:06,592
Whee!
180
00:07:06,676 --> 00:07:08,052
Is that what I think it is?
181
00:07:08,136 --> 00:07:10,136
Yes, every couple gets
to re-create Jack's drowning
182
00:07:10,138 --> 00:07:12,014
at the end of the movie.
183
00:07:12,099 --> 00:07:13,099
It's so romantic.
184
00:07:13,183 --> 00:07:15,017
I can't wait to do
that with Beth.
185
00:07:15,102 --> 00:07:16,894
I don't know, Jerry.
With all due respect...
186
00:07:16,978 --> 00:07:18,978
it seems like your wife
may not be that interested.
187
00:07:18,980 --> 00:07:20,397
[ gasps ] Look!
188
00:07:20,482 --> 00:07:26,028
Iceberg, right ahead!
The buffet is now closed.
189
00:07:26,113 --> 00:07:28,864
Uh, sir?
There's not a problem.
190
00:07:28,949 --> 00:07:31,242
What do you mean
there's not a problem?
191
00:07:31,326 --> 00:07:33,202
The guidance system
isn't putting us
192
00:07:33,286 --> 00:07:34,954
on a direct collision course.
193
00:07:35,038 --> 00:07:37,957
This ship is about to completely
miss the giant iceberg!
194
00:07:38,041 --> 00:07:40,167
Well, do something!
Steer into it!
195
00:07:40,252 --> 00:07:42,419
I'm trying!
196
00:07:44,714 --> 00:07:47,049
It's too late.
Ladies and gentlemen...
197
00:07:47,134 --> 00:07:48,717
don't brace yourselves.
198
00:07:48,802 --> 00:07:51,637
- [ all gasping ]
- JERRY: No! What happened?!
199
00:07:51,721 --> 00:07:53,931
WOMAN:
Their rail system must have failed.
200
00:07:54,015 --> 00:07:55,933
[ indistinct murmuring ]
201
00:07:57,144 --> 00:07:59,520
Totally gonna get laid tonight.
202
00:07:59,604 --> 00:08:01,188
I like your feathers.
203
00:08:01,273 --> 00:08:03,107
They are designed to attract
the attention of the female.
204
00:08:03,191 --> 00:08:04,733
It's working.
205
00:08:04,818 --> 00:08:06,402
Tammy, I should let you know
206
00:08:06,486 --> 00:08:08,737
I just got out of a highly
intense soul bond
207
00:08:08,822 --> 00:08:10,406
with my previous spirit mate.
208
00:08:10,490 --> 00:08:12,950
I'm not looking to get
into a soul bond.
209
00:08:13,034 --> 00:08:15,286
I'm just looking for...
210
00:08:15,370 --> 00:08:17,955
I believe Birdperson can
arrange that.
211
00:08:18,039 --> 00:08:20,624
Hey, Summer, haven't seen you
at flute practice in a while.
212
00:08:20,709 --> 00:08:22,626
Summer, don't tell me
you're friends with her.
213
00:08:22,711 --> 00:08:24,295
Are you kidding me?
214
00:08:24,379 --> 00:08:26,297
I don't even know
what she's doing here.
215
00:08:26,381 --> 00:08:28,299
Whoa. Not cool, Summer.
This is a party.
216
00:08:28,383 --> 00:08:30,009
Everybody should be welcome.
217
00:08:30,093 --> 00:08:32,553
[ crashes ]
218
00:08:32,637 --> 00:08:34,638
Oh, great. Who invited
Abradolph Lincoler?
219
00:08:34,723 --> 00:08:36,932
I thought everyone was welcome.
220
00:08:37,017 --> 00:08:38,601
It's not the same, Summer.
221
00:08:38,685 --> 00:08:40,144
Lincoler is a crazed maniac...
222
00:08:40,228 --> 00:08:42,062
just a misguided effort
of mine to create
223
00:08:42,147 --> 00:08:43,787
a morally neutral
superleader by combining
224
00:08:43,815 --> 00:08:45,733
the DNA of Adolf Hitler
and Abraham Lincoln.
225
00:08:45,817 --> 00:08:49,695
Turns out it [burps] just adds
up to a lame, weird loser.
226
00:08:49,779 --> 00:08:52,364
Rick, you brought me
into this world,
227
00:08:52,449 --> 00:08:54,200
a suffering abomination
228
00:08:54,284 --> 00:08:57,036
tortured by the duality
of its being.
229
00:08:57,120 --> 00:08:59,163
But I shall finally know peace
230
00:08:59,247 --> 00:09:01,707
when I watch the life drain
from your wretched body!
231
00:09:01,791 --> 00:09:03,083
Whoa. What's up, man?
232
00:09:03,168 --> 00:09:05,002
I have no quarrel with you, boy.
233
00:09:05,086 --> 00:09:06,837
"Boy"?
What's that supposed to mean?
234
00:09:06,922 --> 00:09:08,255
It's just... l-look,
235
00:09:08,340 --> 00:09:11,133
I-I don't know how you thought
I meant it, but...
236
00:09:11,218 --> 00:09:12,509
Don't look at me, dude.
237
00:09:12,594 --> 00:09:14,970
Look, I'm
half-Abraham Lincoln, so...
238
00:09:15,055 --> 00:09:17,223
So I should get on my knees
and kiss your ass?!
239
00:09:17,307 --> 00:09:18,891
Well, no, but...
240
00:09:18,975 --> 00:09:20,893
You know?
- What do I know?
241
00:09:20,977 --> 00:09:23,604
That the Third Reich will reign
for a thousand years?
242
00:09:23,688 --> 00:09:25,814
- Leave him alone, Brad.
- Stay out of this, Jessica!
243
00:09:25,899 --> 00:09:28,150
Kick his ass, Brad!
Kick his ass!
244
00:09:28,235 --> 00:09:31,403
ALL:
Kick his ass! Kick his ass!
245
00:09:31,488 --> 00:09:32,363
Brad!
246
00:09:32,447 --> 00:09:33,906
Stupid!
[ grunts ]
247
00:09:33,990 --> 00:09:35,616
Rick!
248
00:09:35,700 --> 00:09:37,910
I just did you a favor, Morty.
249
00:09:38,954 --> 00:09:40,579
Sorry about all that.
250
00:09:40,664 --> 00:09:42,206
Rick has some really
strange friends.
251
00:09:42,290 --> 00:09:44,750
Ugh! Brad is such a jerk.
252
00:09:44,834 --> 00:09:46,752
He's always trying to prove
what a man he is.
253
00:09:46,836 --> 00:09:50,297
I just want to find somebody
nice and sweet.
254
00:09:50,382 --> 00:09:53,425
Jessica, can I show
you something?
255
00:09:54,636 --> 00:09:57,554
- Wow! Look at all this stuff.
- Yeah.
256
00:09:57,639 --> 00:09:59,974
This is me and my grandpa Rick's
sci-fi workshop.
257
00:10:00,058 --> 00:10:01,558
Check this out.
258
00:10:01,643 --> 00:10:03,394
[ projector beeping ]
259
00:10:03,478 --> 00:10:05,062
It's beautiful.
260
00:10:05,146 --> 00:10:07,064
You know, Jessica,
there's something
261
00:10:07,148 --> 00:10:09,233
I've always wanted to tell you.
262
00:10:09,317 --> 00:10:12,194
- What's that, Morty?
- I think you're the most...
263
00:10:12,279 --> 00:10:14,071
No, that...
those weird sounds
264
00:10:14,155 --> 00:10:17,741
coming from the closet
over there.
265
00:10:17,826 --> 00:10:21,620
[ closet rattling ]
266
00:10:21,705 --> 00:10:22,913
- Oh, my god!
- Aah!
267
00:10:22,998 --> 00:10:24,581
Hey, I'm squanching in here!
268
00:10:24,666 --> 00:10:26,542
Oh, my god!
Oh, that is so disgusting!
269
00:10:26,626 --> 00:10:29,128
Ow! Oh! Oh, crap!
270
00:10:29,212 --> 00:10:31,630
[ device warbling ]
271
00:10:37,637 --> 00:10:39,596
[ warbling ]
272
00:10:39,681 --> 00:10:42,057
[ all screaming ]
273
00:10:46,896 --> 00:10:48,814
Huh.
Big star in the sky.
274
00:10:48,898 --> 00:10:51,817
[ inhales sharply ]
Oxygen-rich atmosphere.
275
00:10:51,901 --> 00:10:53,819
Giant testicle monsters.
276
00:10:53,903 --> 00:10:55,237
We'll be fine! Let's party!
277
00:10:55,322 --> 00:10:57,323
[ all cheering ]
278
00:11:02,370 --> 00:11:05,956
♪ Just shake that ass, bitch,
and let me see whatcha got ♪
279
00:11:06,041 --> 00:11:07,833
♪ Just shake that ass... ♪
280
00:11:07,917 --> 00:11:10,252
SUMMER: I swear to god, Morty,
if it weren't for the fact
281
00:11:10,337 --> 00:11:12,137
that everyone's still
having a blast in there,
282
00:11:12,213 --> 00:11:14,089
I would be so furious
with you right now.
283
00:11:14,174 --> 00:11:15,966
Oh, man.
Y-You hear that, Morty?
284
00:11:16,051 --> 00:11:17,931
You really lucked out
with Summer o-on that one.
285
00:11:18,011 --> 00:11:20,054
How are you guys not
freaking out right now?!
286
00:11:20,138 --> 00:11:22,681
T-The whole house is sitting
in another dimension!
287
00:11:22,766 --> 00:11:24,933
I-I mean, w-what the hell
are we supposed to do?!
288
00:11:25,018 --> 00:11:26,810
M-M-Mom and Dad are gonna
kill us!
289
00:11:26,895 --> 00:11:29,271
I'm losing it here, Rick!
- Relax, Morty, relax!
290
00:11:29,356 --> 00:11:30,856
It's gonna be fine.
291
00:11:30,940 --> 00:11:33,150
All we have to do is go out
and find us
292
00:11:33,234 --> 00:11:34,651
some Kalaxian crystals.
293
00:11:34,736 --> 00:11:36,653
[ detector beeping ]
Oh, shit, motherfucker!
294
00:11:36,738 --> 00:11:38,280
Kalaxian crystals, Morty,
295
00:11:38,365 --> 00:11:39,740
just a few miles south of here.
296
00:11:39,824 --> 00:11:41,283
Okay. Let's go, then.
297
00:11:41,368 --> 00:11:43,202
W-W-We got to go get those
crystals right now, Rick.
298
00:11:43,286 --> 00:11:45,204
Whoa, whoa, whoa.
Morty, l-I can't go with you.
299
00:11:45,288 --> 00:11:46,872
I got to hang back
300
00:11:46,956 --> 00:11:49,166
and make sure everything stays
cool here, you know?
301
00:11:49,250 --> 00:11:52,336
I mean, who knows what... what
if somebody breaks something?
302
00:11:52,420 --> 00:11:54,296
Yeah. Me too.
I should stay.
303
00:11:54,381 --> 00:11:55,714
You guys have any aspirin?
304
00:11:55,799 --> 00:11:57,466
Oh, hey, Morty, this is perfect!
305
00:11:57,550 --> 00:11:59,385
You can take Lincoler with you.
306
00:11:59,469 --> 00:12:01,069
Hey, I'm not going anywhere.
I'm injured.
307
00:12:01,137 --> 00:12:02,763
Shut up, Lincoler.
308
00:12:02,847 --> 00:12:05,057
It's the least you can do
for wrecking the living room.
309
00:12:05,141 --> 00:12:07,559
Yeah! And, Nancy,
you should go, too.
310
00:12:07,644 --> 00:12:09,478
What? Why... why me?
311
00:12:09,562 --> 00:12:11,814
Because, uh, you're...
312
00:12:11,898 --> 00:12:14,983
you're so good
at playing the flute.
313
00:12:17,112 --> 00:12:18,987
CAPTAIN:
Sorry for the inconvenience, folks.
314
00:12:19,072 --> 00:12:21,156
We should resume sinking shortly.
315
00:12:21,241 --> 00:12:23,158
In the meantime, please,
stay on the ship
316
00:12:23,243 --> 00:12:26,036
and enjoy a complimentary plate
of James Cameronion rings.
317
00:12:26,121 --> 00:12:28,205
Great. Not only is
the ship not sinking,
318
00:12:28,289 --> 00:12:30,082
but now the fourth wall
has been broken.
319
00:12:30,166 --> 00:12:33,210
[ sighs ] I am gonna go back
to the room to finish my book.
320
00:12:33,294 --> 00:12:35,003
You should find that Lucy woman.
321
00:12:35,088 --> 00:12:36,213
But... but...
322
00:12:36,297 --> 00:12:38,215
[ clears throat ]
You see, Jerry?
323
00:12:38,299 --> 00:12:39,883
May I show you something?
324
00:12:39,968 --> 00:12:41,510
Had everything gone as planned,
325
00:12:41,594 --> 00:12:43,220
this entire area
would be underwater.
326
00:12:43,304 --> 00:12:45,514
[ sighs ]
I would have liked to see it.
327
00:12:45,598 --> 00:12:48,183
This trip has been a "Titanic"
failure.
328
00:12:48,268 --> 00:12:50,269
Get it?
Ooh!
329
00:12:50,353 --> 00:12:52,521
- Draw me, Jerry.
- Oh, boy.
330
00:12:52,605 --> 00:12:54,231
Lucy, wow.
331
00:12:54,315 --> 00:12:56,942
Uh, this isn't
what I had in mind.
332
00:12:57,026 --> 00:12:58,694
But it's the perfect moment.
333
00:12:58,778 --> 00:13:01,071
We've been dreaming
about this for 16 years.
334
00:13:01,156 --> 00:13:02,948
Um, not like this.
Not... not with you.
335
00:13:03,032 --> 00:13:04,950
[ chuckles nervously ]
336
00:13:05,034 --> 00:13:06,952
[ gun cocks ]
You are gonna draw me.
337
00:13:07,036 --> 00:13:10,122
Then you're going to fuck
me in that car over there.
338
00:13:10,206 --> 00:13:12,040
It's weird,
'cause I definitely think
339
00:13:12,125 --> 00:13:14,042
that all men are created equal.
340
00:13:14,127 --> 00:13:16,253
But, at the same time...
- Okay!
341
00:13:16,337 --> 00:13:18,422
Um, the crystals should be
really close.
342
00:13:18,506 --> 00:13:19,965
There they are!
343
00:13:20,049 --> 00:13:22,843
Wait.
Something's not right.
344
00:13:22,927 --> 00:13:24,303
[ creature growls ]
345
00:13:24,387 --> 00:13:25,512
[ screams ]
346
00:13:25,597 --> 00:13:26,972
[ creature roars ]
347
00:13:27,056 --> 00:13:29,099
Get the crystals!
I'll handle the beast!
348
00:13:29,184 --> 00:13:32,895
Prepare to be emancipated from
your own inferior genes!
349
00:13:32,979 --> 00:13:34,438
[ grunting ]
350
00:13:34,522 --> 00:13:36,273
[ gasps ]
Summer's gonna like me again.
351
00:13:36,357 --> 00:13:37,232
[ creature growling ]
352
00:13:37,317 --> 00:13:42,946
[ grunts ]
353
00:13:43,031 --> 00:13:45,240
Lincoler, come on!
Let's get out of here!
354
00:13:45,325 --> 00:13:47,910
Mein journey is over, Morty.
355
00:13:47,994 --> 00:13:52,915
[ groaning ] I have something
important to tell you.
356
00:13:52,999 --> 00:13:56,502
♪ And the gears, they turned
for a thousand years ♪
357
00:13:56,586 --> 00:14:00,005
♪ Until the dark day
that they stopped ♪
358
00:14:00,089 --> 00:14:02,007
[ gasps ] Rick, I got them!
359
00:14:02,091 --> 00:14:03,425
I got the crystals!
360
00:14:03,510 --> 00:14:05,093
All right!
You did it, Morty.
361
00:14:05,178 --> 00:14:07,387
Rick, wait! There's something
you need to know.
362
00:14:07,472 --> 00:14:09,139
I couldn't have done it
without Lincoler.
363
00:14:09,224 --> 00:14:10,504
He said that he was really sorry
364
00:14:10,517 --> 00:14:12,142
and that he loves you
like a father.
365
00:14:12,227 --> 00:14:13,560
He only wanted you
to accept him,
366
00:14:13,645 --> 00:14:15,020
and he hopes that his final act
367
00:14:15,104 --> 00:14:16,438
would redeem him in your eyes.
368
00:14:16,523 --> 00:14:18,941
He sacrificed himself to save
all of us, Rick.
369
00:14:19,025 --> 00:14:20,567
He died.
370
00:14:20,652 --> 00:14:22,361
Well, at least
he didn't die in vain.
371
00:14:22,445 --> 00:14:25,113
He got these crystals.
372
00:14:25,198 --> 00:14:26,448
[ sniffs ]
373
00:14:26,533 --> 00:14:28,492
And these babies just saved
this lame-ass party!
374
00:14:28,576 --> 00:14:30,035
Wubba, lubba, dub, dub!
375
00:14:30,119 --> 00:14:31,870
Play something.
S-Somebody, play something.
376
00:14:31,955 --> 00:14:34,164
[ clicks ]
Wait a minute. What?
377
00:14:34,249 --> 00:14:37,167
[ hip-hop music plays ]
378
00:14:37,252 --> 00:14:40,087
♪ Put your right foot forward
and your left foot back ♪
379
00:14:40,171 --> 00:14:42,839
♪ Then slide around like
on a Nordictrack ♪
380
00:14:42,924 --> 00:14:45,175
♪ Move to the left.
Step to the right ♪
381
00:14:45,260 --> 00:14:48,929
♪ Wiggle your elbows, and look
up into the light ♪
382
00:14:49,013 --> 00:14:51,181
♪ It's the, it's the ♪
383
00:14:51,266 --> 00:14:53,809
♪ It's the Rick dance ♪
384
00:14:53,893 --> 00:14:55,769
♪ It's the, it's the ♪
385
00:14:55,853 --> 00:14:57,646
♪ It's the Rick dance ♪
386
00:14:57,730 --> 00:14:59,439
Slow Mobius, hit me
with the clock beam!
387
00:14:59,524 --> 00:15:04,361
[ warbling ]
388
00:15:04,445 --> 00:15:06,905
♪ It's the, it's the ♪
389
00:15:06,990 --> 00:15:08,156
♪ It's the Rick dance ♪
390
00:15:08,241 --> 00:15:10,492
That's the Rick dance!
All right!
391
00:15:10,577 --> 00:15:11,910
[ burps ] Whoa, man!
392
00:15:11,995 --> 00:15:12,995
[ all cheering ]
393
00:15:12,996 --> 00:15:15,455
What the hell was that?!
394
00:15:15,540 --> 00:15:17,460
I thought those crystals were
supposed to help us
395
00:15:17,500 --> 00:15:18,834
get home or something!
396
00:15:18,918 --> 00:15:21,086
What? No, no, no, I can get us home
whenever I want to.
397
00:15:21,170 --> 00:15:23,547
But, listen, speaking of those
crystals, can I get the rest of them?
398
00:15:23,631 --> 00:15:25,340
I'm starting to come down,
Morty.
399
00:15:25,425 --> 00:15:28,218
Crystal Kalaxian is a really
strong, but fleeting high.
400
00:15:28,303 --> 00:15:30,012
[ door slides open,
Morty grunts ]
401
00:15:30,096 --> 00:15:32,014
That's what I think of your
crystals, Rick!
402
00:15:32,098 --> 00:15:33,849
Oh, Morty, you idiot!
403
00:15:33,933 --> 00:15:36,184
Does anybody else have
any more K-Lax?
404
00:15:36,269 --> 00:15:37,561
B-Birdperson?
Uh, Squanchy?
405
00:15:37,645 --> 00:15:39,229
Don't squaunch at me.
406
00:15:39,314 --> 00:15:41,523
All right, everybody,
party is officially over!
407
00:15:41,608 --> 00:15:43,525
Rick, take us home now.
408
00:15:43,610 --> 00:15:45,902
All right, fine, Morty,
you party pooper buzzkill!
409
00:15:45,987 --> 00:15:47,321
Boo, boo! Morty sucks!
410
00:15:47,405 --> 00:15:50,157
Boo! You suck,
whatever your name is.
411
00:15:50,241 --> 00:15:52,159
RICK:
Morty, you're the worst, Morty.
412
00:15:52,243 --> 00:15:54,411
But these gears just
started turnin'.
413
00:15:54,495 --> 00:15:56,288
LUCY:
Almost finished, Jerry?
414
00:15:56,372 --> 00:15:58,332
Uh, almost.
415
00:15:58,416 --> 00:16:01,627
I haven't quite captured
your beautiful eyes.
416
00:16:01,711 --> 00:16:03,378
I'm sure it's good enough.
Move!
417
00:16:03,463 --> 00:16:05,047
Every weekend,
Jacks and Roses have
418
00:16:05,131 --> 00:16:06,882
their Titanic experience
in this car,
419
00:16:06,966 --> 00:16:09,426
and I have to mop it up.
420
00:16:09,510 --> 00:16:12,304
The floor drops out
to make it easier.
421
00:16:12,388 --> 00:16:14,014
But now it's my turn.
422
00:16:14,098 --> 00:16:16,683
We're going to get it nice
and steamy in there,
423
00:16:16,768 --> 00:16:19,144
and I'm going to slam my hand
on the steam
424
00:16:19,228 --> 00:16:20,896
and leave a nice handprint,
425
00:16:20,980 --> 00:16:23,565
and then you're going to love
inside of me.
426
00:16:23,650 --> 00:16:25,442
No mess. No clean.
427
00:16:25,526 --> 00:16:27,110
[ grunts ]
428
00:16:27,195 --> 00:16:28,445
Beth!
429
00:16:28,529 --> 00:16:31,031
Bet you're glad I think
Kindles are dumb now.
430
00:16:32,533 --> 00:16:34,743
BETH: I can't help
but feel a little guilty.
431
00:16:34,827 --> 00:16:36,912
I didn't peg Lucy for a rapist.
432
00:16:36,996 --> 00:16:38,914
What does a rapist
look like exactly, Beth?
433
00:16:38,998 --> 00:16:40,916
Is it a Slavic man
wearing a denim jacket
434
00:16:41,000 --> 00:16:43,585
with a patchy beard
and the scent of cheap champagne
435
00:16:43,670 --> 00:16:46,296
wafting over his
blister-pocked lips?
436
00:16:46,381 --> 00:16:47,381
What?
437
00:16:48,925 --> 00:16:50,967
Well, at least you got
all this free stuff.
438
00:16:51,052 --> 00:16:53,970
Should be enough to satisfy your
Titanic Jones for a while.
439
00:16:54,055 --> 00:16:56,598
[ grunts ] I'm not going to fit.
440
00:16:56,683 --> 00:16:59,351
Beth, listen to me.
You're going to get outta here.
441
00:16:59,435 --> 00:17:01,061
You're gonna go on, and...
442
00:17:01,145 --> 00:17:02,604
Jerry, just leave the door.
443
00:17:02,689 --> 00:17:04,314
It's not a door, Beth.
It's debris.
444
00:17:04,399 --> 00:17:06,149
I don't care.
Just leave it.
445
00:17:06,234 --> 00:17:08,944
Yeah. Okay.
446
00:17:13,700 --> 00:17:16,493
[ laughs evilly ] "Cape Fear"!
447
00:17:16,577 --> 00:17:18,078
"Cape Fear"!
448
00:17:18,162 --> 00:17:20,080
I'm... I'm doing... I'm...
I'm going to do like
449
00:17:20,164 --> 00:17:21,623
from "Cape Fear."
450
00:17:21,708 --> 00:17:23,500
[ grunts, groans ]
451
00:17:23,584 --> 00:17:26,503
[ moaning, screaming ]
452
00:17:31,092 --> 00:17:32,342
SQUANCHY:
Hey, squanchers!
453
00:17:32,427 --> 00:17:34,886
The party's squanching on
at my place!
454
00:17:34,971 --> 00:17:36,722
[ all cheering ]
455
00:17:36,806 --> 00:17:38,390
- Cool.
- I'm coming, too.
456
00:17:38,474 --> 00:17:40,267
Uh, no.
You're not squanchy enough...
457
00:17:40,351 --> 00:17:42,227
for a squanchy party.
- What?
458
00:17:42,311 --> 00:17:43,937
Nancy told us
what a bitch you are.
459
00:17:44,021 --> 00:17:45,856
Guys, seriously.
Nancy?
460
00:17:45,940 --> 00:17:47,774
Summer, you're a bad person.
461
00:17:47,859 --> 00:17:49,943
All you care about is having
popular people like you.
462
00:17:50,027 --> 00:17:51,945
That's not what
Abradolph Lincoler stood for.
463
00:17:52,029 --> 00:17:55,282
Well, i-it was hard to pin down
what he stood for,
464
00:17:55,366 --> 00:17:58,744
but it's certainly not
what he died for.
465
00:18:01,080 --> 00:18:02,998
Next time I party,
I'm just gonna focus
466
00:18:03,082 --> 00:18:05,000
on getting totally wrecked.
467
00:18:05,084 --> 00:18:06,793
You're so wise.
468
00:18:06,878 --> 00:18:08,545
[ mumbles ]
469
00:18:08,629 --> 00:18:10,422
May I assist you with that?
470
00:18:10,506 --> 00:18:12,132
Uh, sure, yeah.
Thanks.
471
00:18:12,216 --> 00:18:15,051
Morty, do you know what
"wubba lubba dub dub" means?
472
00:18:15,136 --> 00:18:17,637
Uh, that's just Rick's
stupid nonsense catchphrase.
473
00:18:17,722 --> 00:18:19,514
It's not nonsense at all.
474
00:18:19,599 --> 00:18:21,767
In my people's tongue, it means,
475
00:18:21,851 --> 00:18:23,727
"I am in great pain.
Please help me."
476
00:18:23,811 --> 00:18:26,271
Well, I got news for you.
He's saying it ironically.
477
00:18:26,355 --> 00:18:28,356
No, Morty.
Your grandfather is, indeed,
478
00:18:28,441 --> 00:18:30,400
in very deep pain.
479
00:18:30,485 --> 00:18:32,402
That is why he must numb
himself.
480
00:18:32,487 --> 00:18:34,196
- Come on, um...
- Birdperson.
481
00:18:34,280 --> 00:18:36,698
Come on, Birdperson.
Rick's not that complicated.
482
00:18:36,783 --> 00:18:38,617
He's just a huge asshole.
483
00:18:38,701 --> 00:18:41,244
Then why do you care so much
if you are no longer allowed
484
00:18:41,329 --> 00:18:43,246
to continue on your adventures
together?
485
00:18:43,331 --> 00:18:45,582
It appears fate has presented
you with an opportunity
486
00:18:45,666 --> 00:18:47,334
to free yourself of Rick
forever.
487
00:18:47,418 --> 00:18:49,961
You know what? You're right.
I shouldn't even care.
488
00:18:50,046 --> 00:18:52,589
This is probably the best thing
that could have happened to me.
489
00:18:52,673 --> 00:18:54,299
I'm sick of having adventures
with Rick.
490
00:18:54,383 --> 00:18:55,801
My people have another saying...
491
00:18:55,885 --> 00:18:57,427
"gubba nub nub doo rah
kah."
492
00:18:57,512 --> 00:19:00,806
Lt means, "whatever lets you
sleep at night."
493
00:19:00,890 --> 00:19:03,266
[ cellphone beeps ]
Guys, Mom and Dad are, like,
494
00:19:03,351 --> 00:19:04,935
right around the corner.
495
00:19:05,019 --> 00:19:07,771
This is your moment, Morty.
Choose wisely.
496
00:19:07,855 --> 00:19:09,147
Tammy!
497
00:19:09,232 --> 00:19:11,817
[ grunts ] Caw!
498
00:19:14,487 --> 00:19:18,281
SUMMER:
Wow. We are so screwed.
499
00:19:18,366 --> 00:19:20,116
- Rick, wake up.
- Huh? What? Wait? What? Stop.
500
00:19:20,201 --> 00:19:21,743
Rick, you got to do
something quick.
501
00:19:21,828 --> 00:19:24,120
My parents are home.
- [ groans ]
502
00:19:24,205 --> 00:19:26,498
Uh, all... all right.
All right. Hold... hold on.
503
00:19:26,582 --> 00:19:27,749
[ gulping ]
504
00:19:27,834 --> 00:19:29,417
Ahh! So good.
505
00:19:29,502 --> 00:19:30,585
Oh, my god. They're walking up
the driveway.
506
00:19:30,670 --> 00:19:32,838
- Bring me the thing.
- What... what thing?
507
00:19:32,922 --> 00:19:34,506
The thing. The thing.
508
00:19:34,590 --> 00:19:36,216
It's got, like, buttons on it
and lights on it.
509
00:19:36,300 --> 00:19:37,759
It... it... it beeps.
- Rick!
510
00:19:37,844 --> 00:19:39,344
That describes everything
in your garage!
511
00:19:39,428 --> 00:19:40,428
Do you mean this?
512
00:19:40,429 --> 00:19:43,974
Summer for [burps] for the win.
513
00:19:44,058 --> 00:19:45,600
All right, that should do it.
514
00:19:45,685 --> 00:19:48,895
- Whoa! What did you do?
- Uh, s-see for yourself.
515
00:19:48,980 --> 00:19:50,605
Whoa!
516
00:19:50,690 --> 00:19:52,482
Yeah, e-everything's
frozen in time.
517
00:19:52,567 --> 00:19:54,359
Yeah, and Slow Mobius thinks
he's all that.
518
00:19:54,443 --> 00:19:55,819
For how long?
519
00:19:55,903 --> 00:19:57,779
I don't know.
How long do you guys want?
520
00:19:57,864 --> 00:19:59,239
A week? A month?
521
00:19:59,323 --> 00:20:02,868
Can we start cleaning the house
and see how we feel?
522
00:20:02,952 --> 00:20:05,370
[ mid-tempo rock music plays ]
523
00:20:23,347 --> 00:20:26,182
[ epic music plays]
524
00:20:26,267 --> 00:20:27,867
- RICK: Worst movie ever.
- SUMMER: Dumb.
525
00:20:27,935 --> 00:20:29,311
Ooh, boy, what a waste of time.
526
00:20:29,395 --> 00:20:30,812
[ laughter ]
527
00:20:30,897 --> 00:20:32,731
Get it?
You know, 'cause it's frozen.
528
00:20:32,815 --> 00:20:34,566
This has been so much fun.
529
00:20:34,650 --> 00:20:36,401
Hey, Rick.
You know, this whole time,
530
00:20:36,485 --> 00:20:38,069
I haven't once
heard you say that
531
00:20:38,154 --> 00:20:39,738
"wubba lubba dub dub" thing
that you usually say.
532
00:20:39,822 --> 00:20:41,197
Don't need to.
533
00:20:41,282 --> 00:20:42,991
I have [burps] a new
catchphrase.
534
00:20:43,075 --> 00:20:44,826
Oh, yeah?
What... what's that, Rick?
535
00:20:44,911 --> 00:20:46,995
- I love my grandkids.
- BOTH: Aww.
536
00:20:47,079 --> 00:20:48,872
Psych! Just kidding...
my new catchphrase is,
537
00:20:48,956 --> 00:20:50,916
"I don't give
a fuck!"
538
00:20:51,000 --> 00:20:53,919
♪ Just shake that ass, bitch,
and let me see whatcha got ♪
539
00:20:54,003 --> 00:20:56,880
♪ Just shake that ass, bitch,
and let me see what you got ♪
540
00:20:56,964 --> 00:20:58,757
Roll credits!
541
00:20:58,841 --> 00:21:00,800
♪ Just shake that a... ♪
Roll the credits! Go!
542
00:21:00,885 --> 00:21:03,136
♪ Just shake that ass ♪
That's the end of season one!
543
00:21:03,220 --> 00:21:05,055
That's the end, motherfucker!
544
00:21:05,139 --> 00:21:07,349
"I don't give a fuck" is
my new catchphrase!
545
00:21:07,433 --> 00:21:08,808
Fuck you!
546
00:21:08,893 --> 00:21:10,852
That's season one! Boom!
547
00:21:10,937 --> 00:21:13,730
Season one up in your face,
motherfucker!
548
00:21:13,814 --> 00:21:14,814
Yeah!
549
00:21:47,723 --> 00:21:49,599
Revenge.
550
00:21:49,684 --> 00:21:51,601
What?!
551
00:21:54,355 --> 00:21:56,982
MAN:
Party!
552
00:21:57,066 --> 00:21:58,525
Whoo, baby!
553
00:21:58,609 --> 00:22:02,237
LINCOLER: [ groans ]
Please, stop!
554
00:22:02,321 --> 00:22:03,613
Hey, brah!
555
00:22:03,698 --> 00:22:05,615
I don't understand.
Are you enjoying this?
556
00:22:05,700 --> 00:22:07,367
Do you like this?
557
00:22:07,451 --> 00:22:09,369
Yeah, you know it, dawg!
558
00:22:09,453 --> 00:22:11,079
[ Lincoler retches ]
559
00:22:11,163 --> 00:22:12,497
Whoo, baby!
560
00:22:14,000 --> 00:22:15,458
Did you get any of that?
561
00:22:15,543 --> 00:22:17,502
It's a good-a show!
41278
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