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NARRATOR: To act is to live.
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00:00:32,148 --> 00:00:34,317
ANNOUNCER: Are you tired?
Overweight?
5
00:00:34,350 --> 00:00:35,919
Lacking energy?
6
00:00:35,952 --> 00:00:39,455
Do you wish you could look and
feel young again? You can!
7
00:00:39,489 --> 00:00:42,025
By unlocking the power
of natural juice
8
00:00:42,058 --> 00:00:45,161
with Jack La Lanne's
Power Juicer.
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00:00:45,195 --> 00:00:46,897
We juiced with
this other juicer,
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00:00:46,930 --> 00:00:48,431
and look how much work it takes,
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00:00:48,464 --> 00:00:50,967
feeding the small chute.
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00:00:51,001 --> 00:00:54,037
NARRATOR: To act is to
breathe the poet's breath.
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00:01:16,192 --> 00:01:19,796
NARRATOR: It is to embody
the dreams of man.
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00:01:19,830 --> 00:01:23,333
To live as an actor
is to live a dream.
15
00:01:25,601 --> 00:01:28,905
I'm having a herpes
outbreak right now.
16
00:01:29,472 --> 00:01:31,307
But you'd never know it.
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00:01:33,409 --> 00:01:36,246
Thanks, Herpecol.
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00:01:36,279 --> 00:01:40,250
NARRATOR: But dreams are ephemeral,
and sometimes impossible.
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00:01:41,417 --> 00:01:43,820
So we must ask,
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00:01:44,454 --> 00:01:47,257
where do dreams go to die?
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00:02:00,470 --> 00:02:02,939
GEORGE: Hey, look,
I'm sorry, okay?
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00:02:02,973 --> 00:02:07,377
Hey, well, why don't I take you out to
dinner to apologize for my rudeness?
23
00:02:09,345 --> 00:02:11,081
Give me your number.
24
00:02:12,082 --> 00:02:13,449
You want my number?
25
00:02:13,483 --> 00:02:15,351
Which number do
you want, George?
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00:02:15,385 --> 00:02:19,055
GEORGE: You see, right there. I
like the way you say "George."
27
00:02:20,323 --> 00:02:25,195
For instance, ten. That's how
many months old my baby girl is.
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00:02:25,228 --> 00:02:26,562
You got a baby girl?
29
00:02:26,596 --> 00:02:28,098
Sexy, huh?
30
00:02:28,131 --> 00:02:29,332
How about six?
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00:02:29,365 --> 00:02:31,334
That's how old my
other daughter is.
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00:02:31,367 --> 00:02:33,236
Eight is the age of my son.
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00:02:33,269 --> 00:02:36,239
Two is how many times I've
been married and divorced.
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00:02:36,272 --> 00:02:39,275
Sixteen is the number of
dollars in my bank account.
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00:02:39,309 --> 00:02:41,577
And I'm guessing
zero is the number
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00:02:41,611 --> 00:02:43,546
of times you're gonna call me.
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00:02:57,427 --> 00:03:01,031
Hey, the reviews are in.
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00:03:01,064 --> 00:03:03,934
Read them quickly.
It minimizes the pain.
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00:03:05,101 --> 00:03:07,403
"Are Dana Marschz's
bi-yearly stagings of"
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00:03:07,437 --> 00:03:10,106
"popular Hollywood
films an ironic gesture,"
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00:03:10,140 --> 00:03:12,575
"or is he just
profoundly confused?"
42
00:03:14,310 --> 00:03:15,845
"To be fair,"
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00:03:15,878 --> 00:03:19,049
"this year's Erin Brockovich accomplishes
something quite astonishing."
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00:03:19,082 --> 00:03:21,017
"It manages to make
last year's production"
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00:03:21,051 --> 00:03:24,254
"of Mississippi Burning look
sparkling by comparison."
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00:03:24,287 --> 00:03:25,397
EPIPHANY: What about the acting?
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00:03:25,421 --> 00:03:27,958
RAND: "It is perhaps best
not to mention the acting."
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00:03:27,991 --> 00:03:31,227
"In the theater, actors endeavor
to simulate human emotion."
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00:03:31,261 --> 00:03:33,429
"Rand Posin and Epiphany
Sellars flap their lips"
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00:03:33,463 --> 00:03:35,703
"and wave their arms like
malfunctioning wind-up toys..."
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00:03:35,731 --> 00:03:37,367
That's enough!
52
00:03:39,202 --> 00:03:42,638
Every trimester we get
fisted by this guy!
53
00:03:42,672 --> 00:03:43,940
What's "fisted"?
54
00:03:43,974 --> 00:03:45,041
What?
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00:03:46,309 --> 00:03:48,144
I have so much anger.
56
00:03:48,178 --> 00:03:49,946
I feel like I've been raped.
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00:03:50,446 --> 00:03:52,015
In the face!
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00:03:56,619 --> 00:03:59,389
What do I need to
do to please you?
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00:03:59,422 --> 00:04:01,324
Is that the purpose
of your plays?
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00:04:01,357 --> 00:04:02,592
To please me?
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00:04:02,625 --> 00:04:03,970
I put a lot of myself
into my work.
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00:04:03,994 --> 00:04:08,564
Would it kill you to say something
nice about it once in a while?
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00:04:08,598 --> 00:04:10,533
Have you ever
considered doing a play
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00:04:10,566 --> 00:04:12,635
that wasn't originally
a popular movie?
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00:04:13,636 --> 00:04:15,505
No. Why?
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00:04:15,538 --> 00:04:20,210
Do you think I should be writing
more of my own material?
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00:04:20,243 --> 00:04:25,748
That wasn't what I had in
mind, but, sure, why not?
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00:04:25,781 --> 00:04:28,118
You know, there's so much I
want to say through my work
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00:04:28,151 --> 00:04:31,721
that sometimes it overwhelms me.
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00:04:31,754 --> 00:04:34,324
I gotta go clean
the hamster cages.
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00:04:34,357 --> 00:04:36,126
Are you going to be all right?
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00:04:36,159 --> 00:04:38,261
Yes, I'm great.
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00:04:38,294 --> 00:04:39,462
Okay.
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00:04:39,495 --> 00:04:40,630
Yeah, you take care.
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00:04:43,599 --> 00:04:46,302
Thanks for the truth
sandwich, my little brother.
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00:04:53,443 --> 00:04:55,178
Morning, Gary.
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00:04:55,211 --> 00:04:56,346
Morning, Dana.
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00:04:56,379 --> 00:04:58,481
Top of the morning to you.
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00:04:58,514 --> 00:05:02,052
It's a really kickass sunny
day outside today, man.
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00:05:02,085 --> 00:05:03,486
Great observation there, Gary.
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00:05:03,519 --> 00:05:05,255
We live in Tucson.
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00:05:06,422 --> 00:05:08,224
Can I talk to you,
please, privately?
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00:05:08,258 --> 00:05:10,060
Sure, squishy.
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00:05:10,093 --> 00:05:11,261
Excuse us.
85
00:05:11,294 --> 00:05:12,595
Oh, yeah.
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00:05:12,628 --> 00:05:15,398
Sorry, I'm a little
groggy. I was up late.
87
00:05:16,499 --> 00:05:18,234
I'm working on an original play.
88
00:05:18,268 --> 00:05:19,769
It's about my childhood.
89
00:05:19,802 --> 00:05:23,573
Anyway, I know we're broke and
that we needed a roommate,
90
00:05:23,606 --> 00:05:26,309
but I swear to God, I can't
live like this anymore.
91
00:05:26,342 --> 00:05:27,686
I'm gonna go back to
dealing pot, I swear...
92
00:05:27,710 --> 00:05:30,280
No, no, I will not
have you pushing drugs.
93
00:05:30,313 --> 00:05:33,616
I was a dealer, not a pusher.
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00:05:33,649 --> 00:05:36,419
It's just until I,
you know, get an agent
95
00:05:36,452 --> 00:05:38,054
and start doing
commercials again.
96
00:05:38,088 --> 00:05:40,823
Also known as never.
97
00:05:40,856 --> 00:05:42,725
You keep me honest,
I adore you for that.
98
00:05:42,758 --> 00:05:44,194
Well...
99
00:05:44,227 --> 00:05:46,129
It's not so bad.
I mean, Gary has a car.
100
00:05:46,162 --> 00:05:47,830
That's helped out
a lot around here.
101
00:05:47,863 --> 00:05:49,399
Gary has a car.
102
00:05:49,432 --> 00:05:51,367
Maybe I can get him
to run me over with it.
103
00:05:52,768 --> 00:05:54,337
Oh, you.
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00:05:54,370 --> 00:05:57,073
What did I do so right
to get you in my life?
105
00:06:06,182 --> 00:06:07,717
Hey, Max. Hey.
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00:06:24,667 --> 00:06:27,537
Okay, I... Okay, I get it.
107
00:06:30,406 --> 00:06:31,674
Hey, gang, what's up?
108
00:06:31,707 --> 00:06:34,277
Mr. Marschz, have you
seen our new class yet?
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00:06:34,310 --> 00:06:35,845
No. Why?
110
00:06:35,878 --> 00:06:38,481
Let's just say, it's
new and different.
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00:06:38,514 --> 00:06:43,085
Well, Rand, "new" and "different"
are two of my favorite words.
112
00:07:01,837 --> 00:07:03,639
In my prayer circle,
I've been praying
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00:07:03,673 --> 00:07:04,907
for more racial understanding,
114
00:07:04,940 --> 00:07:07,710
but I still get anxious
around ethnics.
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00:07:16,652 --> 00:07:19,722
DANA: Okay, please
turn down the music.
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00:07:20,656 --> 00:07:22,825
Not off, just down.
117
00:07:24,360 --> 00:07:26,896
Okay, we've got
ourselves a full house!
118
00:07:27,830 --> 00:07:30,166
Scary!
119
00:07:30,200 --> 00:07:32,402
Normally, I only have
the two students.
120
00:07:32,435 --> 00:07:36,406
Let's go around and find out why
drama is suddenly so popular.
121
00:07:37,407 --> 00:07:38,541
You?
122
00:07:39,442 --> 00:07:41,244
Yolanda doesn't talk.
123
00:07:41,277 --> 00:07:42,788
But you know the only reason
that we're here, right,
124
00:07:42,812 --> 00:07:45,548
is because there's asbestos
in the portable classrooms,
125
00:07:45,581 --> 00:07:47,317
and because we live
on the poor side of town
126
00:07:47,350 --> 00:07:48,551
and there isn't any money,
127
00:07:48,584 --> 00:07:51,254
they just decided to cancel
everything that we care about.
128
00:07:51,287 --> 00:07:54,257
You know, like
computers and ceramics
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00:07:54,290 --> 00:07:57,727
and shop and arts and crafts, and
drama was the only elective left.
130
00:07:57,760 --> 00:08:01,231
Did anyone pick drama
as a first choice?
131
00:08:04,300 --> 00:08:05,668
That's fine.
132
00:08:08,271 --> 00:08:10,506
Better never than late.
133
00:08:11,807 --> 00:08:14,810
Okay, as a point of departure,
has anyone seen the movie.
134
00:08:14,844 --> 00:08:16,979
Dead Poets Society, starring...
What's your name?
135
00:08:17,012 --> 00:08:19,315
DANA: The always-superb Robin Williams?
I'm Octavio.
136
00:08:20,783 --> 00:08:23,286
Well, it's very good.
I was, for one week,
137
00:08:23,319 --> 00:08:26,389
Mr. Williams' stand-in on the
fantastic motion picture.
138
00:08:26,422 --> 00:08:27,557
Patch Adams,
139
00:08:27,590 --> 00:08:29,392
when I lived in Hollywood.
Hey, come on.
140
00:08:29,425 --> 00:08:30,536
Hey, I'm just trying
to be friendly.
141
00:08:30,560 --> 00:08:33,829
He once gave me
a ride to my bus stop.
142
00:08:33,863 --> 00:08:36,266
I couldn't be happier
for all his success.
143
00:08:36,299 --> 00:08:38,934
Nice guys do finish first.
144
00:08:40,670 --> 00:08:43,606
So what's...
Hey, what's your name?
145
00:08:43,973 --> 00:08:45,241
Heywood.
146
00:08:45,275 --> 00:08:46,642
Heywood...
147
00:08:46,676 --> 00:08:48,511
Heywood Jablomey.
148
00:08:48,544 --> 00:08:49,712
Right.
149
00:08:50,946 --> 00:08:54,784
Perhaps some of you have seen
150
00:08:54,817 --> 00:08:56,686
the movie Mr. Holland's Opus?
151
00:08:57,553 --> 00:08:59,389
Starring, I know...
152
00:08:59,422 --> 00:09:03,493
Starring Richard Dreyfuss as a
music teacher with a deaf son.
153
00:09:03,526 --> 00:09:05,695
He can't hear his music.
Imagine that?
154
00:09:05,728 --> 00:09:07,763
Very sad.
155
00:09:07,797 --> 00:09:10,300
Also stars Glenne Headley.
156
00:09:10,333 --> 00:09:11,967
Wildly underrated.
157
00:09:12,001 --> 00:09:14,370
Check these out. They're all
158
00:09:14,404 --> 00:09:15,905
inspirational...
159
00:09:15,938 --> 00:09:16,939
Teacher.
160
00:09:16,972 --> 00:09:19,542
Teacher movies.
161
00:09:20,676 --> 00:09:22,345
DANA: What could I do
162
00:09:23,346 --> 00:09:24,580
to inspire...
163
00:09:27,750 --> 00:09:30,052
Hey, you fucking bastards!
164
00:09:36,692 --> 00:09:39,729
Just kidding. Hope
I'm not freaking you out.
165
00:09:41,531 --> 00:09:43,966
Wait, I hope I am
freaking you out!
166
00:09:44,967 --> 00:09:46,469
Is this guy for real?
167
00:09:46,502 --> 00:09:47,970
Okay, let's start
with an exercise.
168
00:09:48,003 --> 00:09:49,639
Rand, get up here.
169
00:09:49,672 --> 00:09:52,375
Okay, Rand. Be an animal.
170
00:09:52,408 --> 00:09:55,511
Hey, check this out.
171
00:10:01,784 --> 00:10:06,656
Yeah, this is one of the most basic
skills a drama student can acquire.
172
00:10:07,957 --> 00:10:10,326
That's beautiful, Rand.
173
00:10:12,828 --> 00:10:14,330
Feline good.
174
00:10:15,531 --> 00:10:18,534
Anyone tell what
kind of animal Rand is?
175
00:10:18,568 --> 00:10:19,969
He's a pussy.
176
00:10:22,004 --> 00:10:23,305
Okay.
177
00:10:24,039 --> 00:10:26,409
Okay. So, Heywood.
178
00:10:26,442 --> 00:10:27,510
What?
179
00:10:27,543 --> 00:10:28,903
What kind of creature
would you be?
180
00:10:31,113 --> 00:10:32,615
I could be a flaming ass crack.
181
00:10:32,648 --> 00:10:34,049
Oh, wait, you're
already doing that.
182
00:10:37,587 --> 00:10:39,389
You know, I'd like
to see your Bottom.
183
00:10:39,855 --> 00:10:41,691
Like to see my what?
184
00:10:42,525 --> 00:10:44,960
I'd like to see your Bottom.
185
00:10:45,961 --> 00:10:48,398
I mean, your portrayal of Bottom
186
00:10:48,431 --> 00:10:50,800
in A Midsummer Night's Dream.
A Midsummer Night's Dream.
187
00:10:50,833 --> 00:10:53,011
It's written by a buddy of mine,
you may have heard of him,
188
00:10:53,035 --> 00:10:55,070
William Shakespeare.
189
00:10:55,104 --> 00:10:56,572
Yeah, he liked to goof around,
190
00:10:56,606 --> 00:10:58,741
but most of the time
he was serious.
191
00:10:58,774 --> 00:11:01,977
Because he, like I, believed
that theater has the power,
192
00:11:02,011 --> 00:11:04,380
not only to transform the actor,
193
00:11:04,414 --> 00:11:06,882
but also the audience.
194
00:11:06,916 --> 00:11:08,083
Do you believe that?
195
00:11:08,117 --> 00:11:10,686
Sounds kind of cuckoo-bananas.
196
00:11:10,720 --> 00:11:11,654
But I believe that.
197
00:11:11,687 --> 00:11:14,657
I believe that with
every fiber of my being.
198
00:11:14,690 --> 00:11:16,526
If I kick this trash can...
199
00:11:18,594 --> 00:11:21,030
Oh, my God! Yolanda!
200
00:11:21,764 --> 00:11:22,798
Oh, my God!
201
00:11:22,832 --> 00:11:26,436
Okay, she's still conscious
and she's not bleeding.
202
00:11:26,469 --> 00:11:27,546
Man, you need to be careful.
203
00:11:27,570 --> 00:11:28,838
You know what I'm saying?
204
00:11:28,871 --> 00:11:32,542
Hey, I've learned a lesson here,
but I hope you all have, too.
205
00:11:32,575 --> 00:11:35,878
About the vitality
of shared experience.
206
00:11:35,911 --> 00:11:39,181
We will all remember this moment
for the rest of our lives.
207
00:11:39,214 --> 00:11:40,816
It was dramatic. It was visual.
208
00:11:40,850 --> 00:11:41,951
It was stupid.
209
00:11:41,984 --> 00:11:44,954
It was stupid,
but it was also theater.
210
00:11:46,589 --> 00:11:49,191
Okay, I'd like to borrow your cell.
Call 911.
211
00:11:49,224 --> 00:11:50,626
Yolanda?
212
00:11:51,694 --> 00:11:53,529
Yolanda?
213
00:11:53,563 --> 00:11:55,498
It's free. Wake up.
214
00:11:59,802 --> 00:12:02,004
(MEXICAN MUSIC PLAYING
OVER SPEAKERS)
215
00:12:10,580 --> 00:12:12,047
Hey.
216
00:12:12,081 --> 00:12:13,616
We started without you.
217
00:12:13,649 --> 00:12:14,950
Apologies.
218
00:12:14,984 --> 00:12:17,553
I had to spend some
time with the lawyers
219
00:12:17,587 --> 00:12:19,555
for the school district
and paramedics.
220
00:12:19,589 --> 00:12:20,832
Now, it's all going to work out.
221
00:12:20,856 --> 00:12:21,891
There's no brain damage.
222
00:12:21,924 --> 00:12:24,527
No charges will be pressed.
223
00:12:26,028 --> 00:12:29,231
I think I need a quesadilla.
Immediamente!
224
00:12:29,264 --> 00:12:32,134
Nothing you are saying
makes any sense to me.
225
00:12:32,167 --> 00:12:36,238
Turns out my class is fourteen times
as crowded as it normally is.
226
00:12:36,271 --> 00:12:38,508
I've got a real
tough nut to crack.
227
00:12:38,541 --> 00:12:41,076
A Mexican boy,
lives by his wits.
228
00:12:41,877 --> 00:12:44,013
I'm going to inspire this year.
229
00:12:44,046 --> 00:12:46,081
I mean, make a real difference.
230
00:12:46,115 --> 00:12:50,085
I feel, for the first time, I
can make a genuine difference.
231
00:12:50,119 --> 00:12:52,488
Oh, God! I am getting hammered!
232
00:12:56,191 --> 00:12:58,861
Careful, Brie.
You know how you get.
233
00:13:00,796 --> 00:13:02,865
No, Dana. How do I get?
234
00:13:04,600 --> 00:13:06,502
Please, tell me how I get.
235
00:13:11,907 --> 00:13:12,908
BRIE: Hmm?
236
00:13:17,146 --> 00:13:21,884
No, I see. I got you.
I totally got you.
237
00:13:21,917 --> 00:13:23,786
Okay, she got me.
238
00:13:29,925 --> 00:13:31,894
You guys laugh so much.
239
00:13:31,927 --> 00:13:33,996
Another gem of
an insight from Gary.
240
00:13:34,730 --> 00:13:38,801
Our boarder, Gary.
241
00:13:40,603 --> 00:13:45,240
Hey, don't forget. We have
an A-P-P-O-I-N-T-M-E-N-T
242
00:13:45,274 --> 00:13:48,010
at the sperm
doctor on Wednesday.
243
00:13:50,012 --> 00:13:51,947
I don't like airing
our personal business
244
00:13:51,981 --> 00:13:53,849
in front of you-know-who, Gary,
245
00:13:53,883 --> 00:13:55,326
but if you're shooting
blanks, I swear to God,
246
00:13:55,350 --> 00:13:58,588
I'm going to stab you
to death in your sleep.
247
00:13:59,955 --> 00:14:02,625
But, seriously, you gotta let
your balls breathe, okay?
248
00:14:02,658 --> 00:14:04,860
It's in that pamphlet I read.
249
00:14:04,894 --> 00:14:08,798
It's... And the corduroy has got to
go, especially with the skating.
250
00:14:08,831 --> 00:14:10,165
It's like...
251
00:14:11,667 --> 00:14:13,102
We live in Tucson,
for fuck's sake.
252
00:14:13,135 --> 00:14:14,904
You're broiling
our little tadpoles
253
00:14:14,937 --> 00:14:17,072
in that crotch of yours. What?
254
00:14:20,109 --> 00:14:22,211
Can I get a virgin
strawberry, please?
255
00:14:23,212 --> 00:14:24,847
Seven years sober.
256
00:14:25,781 --> 00:14:27,983
Awesome.
257
00:14:28,017 --> 00:14:31,687
I seriously, seriously wish you
would start drinking again.
258
00:14:31,721 --> 00:14:33,088
Brie, I would never judge you.
259
00:14:33,122 --> 00:14:35,257
Good, because if I had
to give up booze,
260
00:14:35,290 --> 00:14:39,194
I'd blow my brains out living
in this shit-sack city.
261
00:14:39,228 --> 00:14:41,764
Anyway, to Dana.
262
00:14:43,799 --> 00:14:47,269
My husband. What the
fuck was I thinking?
263
00:14:47,302 --> 00:14:49,038
I'm just kidding.
264
00:14:49,905 --> 00:14:51,874
I don't have a drink.
265
00:14:55,645 --> 00:14:57,889
OCTAVIO: Did you do something
different with your hair today?
266
00:14:57,913 --> 00:15:02,251
Look, I have a life plan,
and it does not include you.
267
00:15:04,353 --> 00:15:05,363
Well, if you don't
spend no time with me,
268
00:15:05,387 --> 00:15:07,232
how are you supposed to
get to know me, sunshine?
269
00:15:07,256 --> 00:15:08,057
IVONNE: That's the whole point.
270
00:15:08,090 --> 00:15:09,400
I don't want to
spend time with you.
271
00:15:09,424 --> 00:15:10,826
So pretty!
272
00:15:10,860 --> 00:15:12,594
It's from Ethiopia.
273
00:15:14,864 --> 00:15:18,768
I re-watched a fantastic
movie last night,
274
00:15:19,735 --> 00:15:22,004
Dangerous Minds,
275
00:15:22,037 --> 00:15:24,874
starring the gorgeous
Michelle Pfeiffer.
276
00:15:24,907 --> 00:15:28,844
It gave me a little insight into
your character, Mr. Tough Guy.
277
00:15:31,313 --> 00:15:32,682
Okay, stand up.
278
00:15:32,715 --> 00:15:33,783
Why?
279
00:15:34,349 --> 00:15:36,385
We're going to karate.
280
00:15:37,252 --> 00:15:38,754
No, man. I don't think so.
281
00:15:39,722 --> 00:15:41,023
Come on.
282
00:15:49,298 --> 00:15:50,900
Nice freeball.
283
00:15:52,434 --> 00:15:54,403
Now, punch me.
284
00:15:54,436 --> 00:15:56,105
I'm not punching
a guy in a dress.
285
00:15:56,138 --> 00:15:57,740
It's a kaftan, my friend.
286
00:15:57,773 --> 00:16:00,910
Keeps my balls at room temp.
Now, do it.
287
00:16:02,778 --> 00:16:03,813
Don't make me do this.
288
00:16:03,846 --> 00:16:05,014
Do it.
289
00:16:05,047 --> 00:16:06,081
Do it!
290
00:16:08,083 --> 00:16:09,384
You all right?
291
00:16:10,085 --> 00:16:11,921
Mr. M? Oh, my God!
292
00:16:11,954 --> 00:16:14,824
I can't believe
this is happening to me.
293
00:16:14,857 --> 00:16:16,759
Mr. M, are you okay?
294
00:16:17,292 --> 00:16:18,828
Breathe!
295
00:16:20,329 --> 00:16:22,264
I wasn't ready.
296
00:16:22,297 --> 00:16:24,199
Mr. Marx, could I have a minute?
297
00:16:24,233 --> 00:16:26,101
Sure! Sure, sure.
298
00:16:34,343 --> 00:16:36,145
What's the matter with you?
299
00:16:36,178 --> 00:16:39,014
Trying to inspire
a troubled student.
300
00:16:39,048 --> 00:16:42,151
Look, I thought you should
know as soon as possible.
301
00:16:42,184 --> 00:16:46,021
Last night, the school board, which
is facing major financial cuts,
302
00:16:46,055 --> 00:16:47,389
decided to cancel drama.
303
00:16:47,923 --> 00:16:49,291
Cancel how?
304
00:16:50,025 --> 00:16:52,494
Completely. Forever.
305
00:16:52,527 --> 00:16:56,131
You can stay till the end of the
term and after that, get out.
306
00:16:57,466 --> 00:17:00,369
You can't have a school
without a drama department.
307
00:17:00,402 --> 00:17:02,037
Sure, you can.
308
00:17:03,472 --> 00:17:06,375
This is obviously
a practical joke.
309
00:17:06,408 --> 00:17:09,344
Look, the county and the school
district are in fiscal crisis.
310
00:17:09,378 --> 00:17:12,047
All the arts programs are
on the chopping block.
311
00:17:12,081 --> 00:17:16,251
And let's face it, we're not
producing any Oscar-winners here.
312
00:17:18,387 --> 00:17:19,421
Tony.
313
00:17:19,454 --> 00:17:20,522
What?
314
00:17:20,555 --> 00:17:22,291
That would be Tony-winners.
315
00:17:22,324 --> 00:17:24,093
It's the award for theater.
316
00:17:24,126 --> 00:17:26,328
Listen up, guy.
I've seen your plays.
317
00:17:26,361 --> 00:17:28,197
This is no great loss.
318
00:17:38,073 --> 00:17:39,942
Well, you're a dirty,
violent beaner!
319
00:17:39,975 --> 00:17:41,319
You shouldn't have
hit him like that!
320
00:17:41,343 --> 00:17:42,453
Shut up, you cow.
It wasn't my fault.
321
00:17:42,477 --> 00:17:43,545
He made me hit him.
322
00:17:43,578 --> 00:17:44,880
That, to you...
323
00:17:44,914 --> 00:17:45,981
You are racist, okay?
324
00:17:46,015 --> 00:17:47,335
And a terrible person!
Oh, really?
325
00:17:49,218 --> 00:17:52,154
Shut up! Shut up!
Shut up! Shut up!
326
00:17:52,187 --> 00:17:55,024
Shut up! Shut up!
Shut up! Shut up!
327
00:17:57,893 --> 00:18:00,129
Mr. Marschz? Are you okay?
328
00:18:02,064 --> 00:18:05,300
No, Rand! I'm not okay!
329
00:18:11,974 --> 00:18:14,443
Can you tell me how
330
00:18:16,511 --> 00:18:18,914
a little boy
331
00:18:18,948 --> 00:18:20,883
from a dairy farm in Manitoba,
332
00:18:20,916 --> 00:18:24,887
who dreams of acting
but can't do it very well,
333
00:18:25,855 --> 00:18:29,291
and could never get
a decent agent,
334
00:18:29,324 --> 00:18:33,028
so he moves on,
decides to teach,
335
00:18:33,062 --> 00:18:35,297
to pass on his love
of the craft...
336
00:18:36,932 --> 00:18:40,469
Can you tell me how
he deals with all the.
337
00:18:42,237 --> 00:18:46,275
God-awful crap that's
handed out to him without
338
00:18:46,308 --> 00:18:48,310
wrapping his lips around a .45
339
00:18:48,343 --> 00:18:50,512
and just blowing his brains out?
340
00:18:51,480 --> 00:18:52,915
Don't do it!
341
00:18:56,618 --> 00:18:57,920
Is he acting?
342
00:18:57,953 --> 00:18:59,321
No, he's not that good.
343
00:18:59,354 --> 00:19:01,290
Mr. Marschz!
344
00:19:03,926 --> 00:19:06,628
NARRATOR: Dana Marschz's
wavering consciousness
345
00:19:06,661 --> 00:19:09,398
led him to believe that
he was leaving this Earth
346
00:19:09,431 --> 00:19:12,634
and all its trials.
347
00:19:12,667 --> 00:19:15,437
But the fates had
long ago deigned
348
00:19:15,470 --> 00:19:18,607
that his life's work
was only just begun.
349
00:19:27,349 --> 00:19:29,184
Where the fark have you been?
350
00:19:29,218 --> 00:19:32,154
Staring into the abyss
of nothingness.
351
00:19:34,056 --> 00:19:36,892
Drama has been cancelled.
352
00:19:39,094 --> 00:19:41,596
Finally! Now you can go back
to your job at Rite Aid
353
00:19:41,630 --> 00:19:43,933
and start making
some real money.
354
00:19:43,966 --> 00:19:47,402
Oh, Dana, I found a great
parking spot right out front
355
00:19:47,436 --> 00:19:49,304
and there was still
time on the meter.
356
00:19:51,673 --> 00:19:53,976
They should just ship you
on over to the Gulf,
357
00:19:54,009 --> 00:19:54,977
you know,
let you talk to people.
358
00:19:55,010 --> 00:19:57,980
All the terrorists would
just kill themselves.
359
00:19:58,013 --> 00:20:02,351
Well, I, for one, am very appreciative
that Gary drove you here.
360
00:20:02,384 --> 00:20:04,987
Why did you bring that thing?
361
00:20:05,020 --> 00:20:09,158
I don't know. I thought maybe I could
work through my grief in song.
362
00:20:17,432 --> 00:20:19,101
Maybe it's better that I just...
363
00:20:19,134 --> 00:20:20,569
I can't get pregnant.
364
00:20:20,602 --> 00:20:23,205
I think we shouldn't
pass on this gene pool.
365
00:20:23,238 --> 00:20:25,407
This is for you, baby.
366
00:20:25,440 --> 00:20:28,177
Am I shooting blanks?
367
00:20:28,210 --> 00:20:31,480
Are my testicles an empty tank?
368
00:20:32,681 --> 00:20:37,652
Is it all a ruse
when I go kergluge?
369
00:20:39,221 --> 00:20:40,489
Why?
370
00:20:42,391 --> 00:20:44,626
I want to.
371
00:20:44,659 --> 00:20:49,231
Splash you with my
hot-buttered love spackle.
372
00:20:51,000 --> 00:20:54,936
So put your lips around
this wedding tackle.
373
00:20:55,637 --> 00:20:58,307
It's nuclear war!
374
00:21:00,109 --> 00:21:03,545
Meyerschz? Yeah, I need a
copy of your insurance card.
375
00:21:05,614 --> 00:21:07,116
Can you get the... Thanks.
376
00:21:10,019 --> 00:21:11,320
I'm sorry about my husband.
377
00:21:11,353 --> 00:21:12,621
He's not right in the head.
378
00:21:12,654 --> 00:21:14,556
It's okay. BRIE: It's
Marschz, by the way.
379
00:21:14,589 --> 00:21:15,657
Marschz? Yeah.
380
00:21:15,690 --> 00:21:17,159
Marschz.
381
00:21:17,192 --> 00:21:18,427
Marschz?
382
00:21:18,460 --> 00:21:19,694
Marschz.
383
00:21:19,728 --> 00:21:20,996
Marschz?
384
00:21:21,030 --> 00:21:22,197
Marschz.
385
00:21:22,231 --> 00:21:23,332
Marschz.
386
00:21:23,365 --> 00:21:24,499
I don't care.
387
00:21:26,468 --> 00:21:27,912
Excuse me, I'm sorry
to be so forward,
388
00:21:27,936 --> 00:21:32,707
but you look a lot like my favorite
actress of all time, Elisabeth Shue.
389
00:21:32,741 --> 00:21:34,743
Yeah. I am her.
390
00:21:34,776 --> 00:21:36,678
But you really look like her.
391
00:21:37,612 --> 00:21:40,215
Well, that's because I am her.
392
00:21:40,249 --> 00:21:44,019
Oh, my God! I knew
it in my heart-soul.
393
00:21:44,053 --> 00:21:47,256
Oh, my God! I'm freaking out!
394
00:21:47,289 --> 00:21:48,323
I'm freaking out.
395
00:21:48,357 --> 00:21:51,093
You, you were wonderful
in Leaving Las Vegas...
396
00:21:51,126 --> 00:21:52,394
Oh, thank you.
397
00:21:52,427 --> 00:21:54,472
And so fabulously funny in
Adventures in Babysitting,
398
00:21:54,496 --> 00:21:57,232
not forgetting Cocktail
with Tom Cruise.
399
00:21:57,266 --> 00:21:59,168
What is he like?
He seems totally great.
400
00:21:59,201 --> 00:22:00,469
What are you doing in Tucson?
401
00:22:00,502 --> 00:22:02,737
Oh, my God! I'm freaking out!
402
00:22:02,771 --> 00:22:05,574
I'm actually a nurse now.
403
00:22:05,607 --> 00:22:09,211
I just, you know, got kind of
sick of the business, you know?
404
00:22:09,244 --> 00:22:11,280
Sick of all the horrible people,
405
00:22:11,313 --> 00:22:13,348
and it's all about being
a fucking celebrity now.
406
00:22:13,382 --> 00:22:16,318
Anyway, there's a real
shortage of nurses out there,
407
00:22:16,351 --> 00:22:19,821
and I like
taking care of people.
408
00:22:19,854 --> 00:22:21,666
Oh, my God! I didn't hear
anything you just said
409
00:22:21,690 --> 00:22:23,325
because I'm too excited.
410
00:22:23,358 --> 00:22:26,128
Would you come and speak
with my drama class?
411
00:22:26,161 --> 00:22:28,263
They would just
lose their minds.
412
00:22:28,297 --> 00:22:31,200
No. They wouldn't even
know who I am, anyway.
413
00:22:31,233 --> 00:22:32,267
They would.
414
00:22:33,468 --> 00:22:35,604
All right. I'll come.
415
00:22:35,637 --> 00:22:39,374
But, I'm gonna talk about all the
insecurity and the self-loathing,
416
00:22:39,841 --> 00:22:41,143
the rejection...
417
00:22:41,176 --> 00:22:42,377
Perfect!
418
00:22:42,411 --> 00:22:43,778
So, what's Nick Cage
really like?
419
00:22:43,812 --> 00:22:46,748
I mean, were you
just paralyzed with awe?
420
00:22:48,250 --> 00:22:49,618
I have to go back to work.
421
00:22:49,651 --> 00:22:51,186
Elisabeth Shue.
422
00:22:51,220 --> 00:22:55,490
I feel so connected
to you. Yes, I do.
423
00:22:55,524 --> 00:22:58,260
And I thank you for
giving me back my smile.
424
00:22:58,293 --> 00:22:59,761
You're welcome.
425
00:23:00,395 --> 00:23:02,864
Shoo! Shoo, Shue!
426
00:23:02,897 --> 00:23:04,333
Oh, God!
427
00:23:05,500 --> 00:23:08,770
Doctor! Oh, my God!
428
00:23:16,645 --> 00:23:18,380
Okay, gang.
429
00:23:18,413 --> 00:23:20,615
This is the amount
we need to save drama.
430
00:23:24,686 --> 00:23:28,590
6K, a.k.a. $6,000.
How do we get it?
431
00:23:29,924 --> 00:23:31,760
Piff? Bake sale.
432
00:23:31,793 --> 00:23:36,398
Not enough dough, pun intended.
433
00:23:36,431 --> 00:23:38,667
Yo. We could
knock over a 7-Eleven.
434
00:23:39,234 --> 00:23:41,270
Nice thought,
435
00:23:41,303 --> 00:23:43,672
but 7-Elevens are not as
vulnerable as they used to be.
436
00:23:43,705 --> 00:23:45,240
Don't ask me how I know that.
437
00:23:45,274 --> 00:23:47,342
I saw it on
the Discovery Channel.
438
00:23:48,410 --> 00:23:49,820
I've got a little
something-something.
439
00:23:49,844 --> 00:23:50,879
Let's hear it.
440
00:23:50,912 --> 00:23:53,548
Toasters. Man, you know,
we just move that skeet.
441
00:23:53,582 --> 00:23:55,684
You know, 10 grands.
442
00:23:55,717 --> 00:23:58,320
Hell, we could do that.
443
00:23:58,353 --> 00:23:59,654
Hey, dumb-ass!
444
00:24:00,889 --> 00:24:03,225
"Toaster" is street for "gun."
445
00:24:03,258 --> 00:24:04,893
"Toaster" is street for "gun"?
446
00:24:04,926 --> 00:24:07,596
What a colorful expression!
447
00:24:07,629 --> 00:24:10,299
There he goes!
The little kangaroo rat!
448
00:24:13,302 --> 00:24:14,636
Hey, Noah Sapperstein.
449
00:24:14,669 --> 00:24:16,205
Oh, hi!
450
00:24:16,238 --> 00:24:17,672
Happy.
451
00:24:17,706 --> 00:24:20,775
Happy you finally succeeded
in taking me down?
452
00:24:20,809 --> 00:24:23,378
No. I think it's
terrible what's happened
453
00:24:23,412 --> 00:24:25,747
to arts education
in this country.
454
00:24:25,780 --> 00:24:27,182
I don't know what to do.
455
00:24:27,216 --> 00:24:28,817
Everything is out of control.
456
00:24:28,850 --> 00:24:32,587
You want to save drama, but you've
produced nothing worth saving.
457
00:24:32,621 --> 00:24:33,788
You know, it's like...
458
00:24:33,822 --> 00:24:35,890
It's like my father
got reincarnated
459
00:24:35,924 --> 00:24:38,493
into the body of a freaking
little drama critic.
460
00:24:38,527 --> 00:24:40,895
Look, all I'm saying is,
461
00:24:40,929 --> 00:24:43,765
you need to inspire everyone
to come to your rescue.
462
00:24:45,300 --> 00:24:47,636
You know, I was
thinking of working
463
00:24:47,669 --> 00:24:49,271
on a musical version
of The Lake House,
464
00:24:49,304 --> 00:24:52,974
you know the wonderful Sandra
Bullock, Keanu Reeves...
465
00:24:53,007 --> 00:24:55,310
Play with space and time.
466
00:24:55,344 --> 00:24:56,945
No? No.
467
00:24:58,613 --> 00:24:59,781
There is one other thing.
468
00:24:59,814 --> 00:25:01,125
It's a piece I've
been working on.
469
00:25:01,149 --> 00:25:06,288
I have the first act and reams
of notes in my inspiration box.
470
00:25:06,321 --> 00:25:10,292
It's called Hamlet 2.
471
00:25:10,325 --> 00:25:12,894
A sequel to Hamlet
by Shakespeare?
472
00:25:12,927 --> 00:25:16,565
Yes. Yes. Do you think
it's a bad idea?
473
00:25:16,598 --> 00:25:18,900
Not necessarily, no.
474
00:25:18,933 --> 00:25:22,404
Sometimes an idea could be so bad,
it starts to turn good again.
475
00:25:22,437 --> 00:25:26,975
But... And so, what about funding
for drama next trimester?
476
00:25:27,008 --> 00:25:28,543
Forget about
the money right now.
477
00:25:28,577 --> 00:25:31,646
Put on a play, and make it
the best you've ever done.
478
00:25:31,680 --> 00:25:35,550
Use that as a way of drawing
attention to the funding issue.
479
00:25:36,418 --> 00:25:38,820
What if it sucks?
480
00:25:38,853 --> 00:25:41,623
Isn't that a question every
artist must ask himself?
481
00:25:41,656 --> 00:25:46,728
Yes! I am an artist, aren't I?
482
00:25:46,761 --> 00:25:50,265
Thank you. You've given me the
kick in the pants I needed, kid.
483
00:25:50,299 --> 00:25:52,000
Okay, well, I need
to go to recess now.
484
00:25:52,033 --> 00:25:54,336
You're very busy. I understand.
485
00:26:11,553 --> 00:26:15,357
Oh, my God! Writing is so hard.
486
00:26:31,806 --> 00:26:34,609
What is your
fucking problem, man?
487
00:26:38,780 --> 00:26:39,714
Huh?
488
00:26:39,748 --> 00:26:42,551
(OPERA MUSIC PLAYING ON STEREO)
489
00:27:48,750 --> 00:27:52,621
BRIE: Dana
Hey, I need some money.
490
00:27:52,654 --> 00:27:54,689
Hey, it's done.
491
00:27:54,723 --> 00:27:57,058
What is? My original work
that's gonna save drama.
492
00:27:57,091 --> 00:28:01,095
The thing I've been working on
for the last 47 billion hours.
493
00:28:01,129 --> 00:28:02,172
Oh, is that what you were doing?
494
00:28:02,196 --> 00:28:04,599
I thought you were just
having a nervous meltdown.
495
00:28:04,633 --> 00:28:06,935
You're not far off, ladypants.
496
00:28:06,968 --> 00:28:08,078
Any creative person
will tell you,
497
00:28:08,102 --> 00:28:11,440
you gotta go a little crazy
to make great fucking art.
498
00:28:15,877 --> 00:28:17,546
Hamlet 2?
499
00:28:17,579 --> 00:28:19,548
The deuce. Correct.
500
00:28:19,581 --> 00:28:22,651
Doesn't everybody die
at the end of the first one?
501
00:28:22,684 --> 00:28:24,052
I have a device.
502
00:28:24,085 --> 00:28:25,587
"The time machine door opens..."
503
00:28:25,620 --> 00:28:27,155
That's the device.
504
00:28:27,188 --> 00:28:30,892
"Revealing Hamlet,
Gertrude, Polonius,"
505
00:28:30,925 --> 00:28:34,429
"and Hillary Clinton having
what appears to be group sex."
506
00:28:34,463 --> 00:28:37,732
It's about my troubled
relationship with my father.
507
00:28:39,233 --> 00:28:41,903
But, you're doing this at
school with the kids, right?
508
00:28:41,936 --> 00:28:45,674
That's the plan, Stan.
What do you think?
509
00:28:45,707 --> 00:28:50,779
I think that your
enthusiasm is remarkable.
510
00:28:50,812 --> 00:28:53,181
I will take that!
I will take it!
511
00:28:56,885 --> 00:28:58,086
Hey, Dana.
512
00:28:58,119 --> 00:28:59,420
Hello, Gary.
513
00:29:01,590 --> 00:29:02,624
Hey! Guess what I've got!
514
00:29:02,657 --> 00:29:03,697
Your head out of your ass?
515
00:29:03,725 --> 00:29:04,859
No!
516
00:29:05,994 --> 00:29:09,498
Right. Watch out!
This stuff is sharp.
517
00:29:10,865 --> 00:29:14,803
As in cutting edge. All righty!
518
00:29:17,739 --> 00:29:19,173
IVONNE: Are you okay?
519
00:29:21,976 --> 00:29:23,111
Yes!
520
00:29:23,144 --> 00:29:26,214
You're telling me that this
guy traveled through time
521
00:29:26,247 --> 00:29:29,117
from Denmark 400 years ago?
522
00:29:29,884 --> 00:29:32,987
And you call me a drunk?
523
00:29:33,021 --> 00:29:36,157
It's true, Papa. I done saw it.
524
00:29:36,991 --> 00:29:38,660
Come here, boy.
525
00:29:45,634 --> 00:29:48,770
Take it easy on him,
Ray. He's sensitive.
526
00:29:51,773 --> 00:29:53,141
RAY: Come closer.
527
00:29:58,246 --> 00:30:00,949
Lay a hand on him, and I
will make you regret it.
528
00:30:02,283 --> 00:30:07,188
You trying to take me on,
you time.
529
00:30:07,221 --> 00:30:10,258
Getting drunk and beating
up on a little boy?
530
00:30:10,291 --> 00:30:13,094
That doesn't make you
a man, you piece of shit!
531
00:30:13,127 --> 00:30:14,639
I got the mind to put
you through that wall.
532
00:30:14,663 --> 00:30:15,797
Then fucking do it, bitch!
533
00:30:15,830 --> 00:30:17,966
Oh, yeah? Do it,
motherfucker, come on.
534
00:30:17,999 --> 00:30:19,668
What? Bring it!
535
00:30:19,701 --> 00:30:21,703
Excuse me! Excuse me,
but they're off-book,
536
00:30:21,736 --> 00:30:24,238
and he's definitely not using
Shakespearean language,
537
00:30:24,272 --> 00:30:26,283
and the violence is getting
a little too real for me,
538
00:30:26,307 --> 00:30:27,976
thank you very much.
539
00:30:28,009 --> 00:30:30,011
Okay, let's stop there.
540
00:30:32,914 --> 00:30:35,917
Heywood, that was very powerful.
541
00:30:35,950 --> 00:30:37,151
Yeah, that was.
542
00:30:38,853 --> 00:30:41,623
It was gangster.
543
00:30:42,657 --> 00:30:45,694
Wow. Where were you
when I was seven?
544
00:30:47,028 --> 00:30:48,329
Class, thoughts?
545
00:30:48,362 --> 00:30:50,832
I thought Octavio was amazing.
546
00:30:50,865 --> 00:30:52,701
I felt this electric charge!
547
00:30:52,734 --> 00:30:55,804
He's so much more powerful
than any other actor I've...
548
00:30:59,808 --> 00:31:01,943
It's stupid to compare.
549
00:31:01,976 --> 00:31:05,279
I'm just so surprised that
one of you people can act.
550
00:31:06,948 --> 00:31:08,983
"One of you people"?
What does that mean?
551
00:31:09,017 --> 00:31:10,885
Man, that's some
racist shit right there.
552
00:31:10,919 --> 00:31:12,754
I heard that, man.
553
00:31:12,787 --> 00:31:14,756
If you don't like
this class, get out.
554
00:31:14,789 --> 00:31:15,790
Or what, bitch?
555
00:31:15,824 --> 00:31:18,059
Don't you call me a bitch!
Hey, simmer down.
556
00:31:18,092 --> 00:31:20,128
I'm so sick and tired
of you, Epiphany.
557
00:31:20,161 --> 00:31:21,329
EPIPHANY: You're hurting me!
558
00:31:23,665 --> 00:31:25,900
Don't do that to my friend!
559
00:31:25,934 --> 00:31:27,368
IVONNE: That's it, that's it.
560
00:31:27,401 --> 00:31:30,038
Let me give you
a piece of my mind.
561
00:31:30,071 --> 00:31:31,906
No, I'm really different.
562
00:31:31,940 --> 00:31:35,243
You've got to do
something, Dana.
563
00:31:36,010 --> 00:31:37,812
RAND: Time out! Time out!
564
00:31:37,846 --> 00:31:39,347
You've got to do
something, Dana.
565
00:31:41,916 --> 00:31:44,152
You want nachos or pizza?
566
00:31:44,185 --> 00:31:45,887
Nacho!
567
00:31:47,155 --> 00:31:50,124
I have access to
the activities van.
568
00:31:50,158 --> 00:31:52,827
We can go to the
Fun Zone in the mall.
569
00:31:52,861 --> 00:31:54,896
I'll get everyone a snack.
570
00:31:55,864 --> 00:31:57,932
You want nachos or pizza?
571
00:31:59,433 --> 00:32:01,269
I could go for some nachos.
572
00:32:01,302 --> 00:32:02,570
Figures.
573
00:32:02,603 --> 00:32:06,140
I'm not doing carbs, but maybe
they have a salad or something.
574
00:32:06,174 --> 00:32:08,242
Anything is better than this.
575
00:32:08,276 --> 00:32:10,745
All right, we're back on track!
576
00:32:10,779 --> 00:32:12,781
And we cannot be stopped!
577
00:32:13,014 --> 00:32:14,015
Yeah.
578
00:32:22,791 --> 00:32:25,293
I just don't even care.
579
00:32:25,326 --> 00:32:27,061
Hey, Mr. Marschz.
580
00:32:27,729 --> 00:32:29,130
Hey, are you mad at me?
581
00:32:29,163 --> 00:32:30,732
No, no.
582
00:32:30,765 --> 00:32:31,866
I don't know.
583
00:32:31,900 --> 00:32:33,401
You've barely
spoken to me all day.
584
00:32:33,434 --> 00:32:35,804
Is it because of my
resistance to these gang.
585
00:32:35,837 --> 00:32:38,306
Hey, hey, just because
they're Latinos
586
00:32:38,339 --> 00:32:40,341
doesn't make them gang.
587
00:32:40,374 --> 00:32:44,012
Yeah, I'm sorry.
I just love class so much.
588
00:32:44,045 --> 00:32:46,848
I just don't want
anything to change.
589
00:32:46,881 --> 00:32:48,382
Rand, you're teacher's pet.
590
00:32:48,416 --> 00:32:50,451
What more do you want?
591
00:32:50,484 --> 00:32:53,187
Come on, let's go
hang with the gang.
592
00:32:53,955 --> 00:32:55,256
You mean Latinos.
593
00:32:55,289 --> 00:32:59,293
Hey, you little thing. Come on.
594
00:33:00,729 --> 00:33:02,330
Hey, guys, I'm Groucho Marx.
595
00:33:02,363 --> 00:33:04,065
I say funny stuff.
596
00:33:06,901 --> 00:33:09,203
Mr. Marschz,
these guys are drunk.
597
00:33:10,905 --> 00:33:12,907
Come on, guys.
I said no drinking.
598
00:33:12,941 --> 00:33:14,284
Why don't you have
one with us, ese?
599
00:33:14,308 --> 00:33:17,178
Maybe you'd stop
being such a pinche joto.
600
00:33:18,913 --> 00:33:22,150
The truth is, Heywood, I haven't
had a drink in seven years.
601
00:33:22,183 --> 00:33:24,285
I got the chip on my
keychain to prove it,
602
00:33:24,318 --> 00:33:26,387
from an organization called AA.
603
00:33:26,420 --> 00:33:27,722
Really?
604
00:33:27,756 --> 00:33:29,758
Yeah. It's a slippery slope.
605
00:33:29,791 --> 00:33:34,796
Beer, liquor, dope, coke, meth,
chicks with dicks, then jail.
606
00:33:36,364 --> 00:33:39,267
Hey, what would happen
if you have a drink?
607
00:33:40,902 --> 00:33:43,171
My entire life would fall apart.
608
00:33:45,306 --> 00:33:47,075
Okay. Who wants to go? Me.
609
00:33:47,108 --> 00:33:48,843
I would love to go home.
610
00:33:48,877 --> 00:33:51,746
No, no, no, no, no.
You can't leave now.
611
00:33:51,780 --> 00:33:54,415
We just coming together
as a class, right?
612
00:33:54,448 --> 00:33:55,383
No.
613
00:33:55,416 --> 00:33:58,286
Heywood, it's late and
my wife is ovulating.
614
00:33:58,319 --> 00:34:01,055
Hey, we got you
another mango iced tea.
615
00:34:01,089 --> 00:34:03,191
Mango iced tea is my kryptonite.
616
00:34:03,224 --> 00:34:04,292
It's totally.
617
00:34:04,325 --> 00:34:06,160
Powerless to resist.
618
00:34:06,194 --> 00:34:08,196
Okay, a few more
minutes won't hurt.
619
00:34:12,300 --> 00:34:14,268
Yeah, I'd drink to that.
620
00:34:18,039 --> 00:34:21,275
He's about to go through
the center of the Sun.
621
00:34:27,581 --> 00:34:29,283
Sir, I'm gonna need
you to wake up
622
00:34:29,317 --> 00:34:31,485
and show me some
form of identification.
623
00:34:35,056 --> 00:34:38,793
Time begins and stops now.
624
00:34:38,827 --> 00:34:42,563
We have a 410 with a 6l4 in
the 1100 block of Ocotillo.
625
00:34:42,596 --> 00:34:44,866
What do those numbers mean?
626
00:34:45,199 --> 00:34:46,267
Come on.
627
00:34:46,300 --> 00:34:47,802
Are you sending me
to the gas chamber?
628
00:34:47,836 --> 00:34:48,903
Right this way, sir.
629
00:34:48,937 --> 00:34:50,138
What is happening?
630
00:34:56,344 --> 00:34:58,813
Good morning, class.
631
00:34:58,847 --> 00:35:02,951
Okay, I'd like to start
by saying two things.
632
00:35:02,984 --> 00:35:07,188
First of all, acid is
a very strong drug,
633
00:35:08,890 --> 00:35:15,196
and B, where are my
pants and underwear?
634
00:35:21,369 --> 00:35:23,905
Excuse me, Mr. Marschz.
635
00:35:23,938 --> 00:35:27,108
We need to discuss something
about the latest draft.
636
00:35:27,141 --> 00:35:31,512
The role of Laertes, my part,
you've turned him into a gay.
637
00:35:31,545 --> 00:35:34,548
He's not gay. He's bi-curious.
638
00:35:34,582 --> 00:35:37,852
And the role has also been
reduced significantly.
639
00:35:37,886 --> 00:35:40,054
Rand, theater is a living thing.
640
00:35:40,088 --> 00:35:42,190
Octavio's performance
the other day,
641
00:35:42,223 --> 00:35:44,859
combined with my wife's intense
desire to get pregnant,
642
00:35:44,893 --> 00:35:47,295
not to mention the acid,
643
00:35:47,328 --> 00:35:48,930
inspired me to take
some bold steps
644
00:35:48,963 --> 00:35:50,374
in looking at my
relationship with my father.
645
00:35:50,398 --> 00:35:53,567
That meant reducing
Laertes' role.
646
00:35:53,601 --> 00:35:56,971
And the gay thing, I just thought
you'd be more comfortable...
647
00:35:57,005 --> 00:35:59,307
What.
648
00:35:59,340 --> 00:36:02,176
This has nothing to do
with my sexuality!
649
00:36:04,345 --> 00:36:08,416
Listen, listen, I've given
my life to this class,
650
00:36:08,449 --> 00:36:12,020
and now it all goes out the
window because of him?
651
00:36:12,053 --> 00:36:14,588
Because he inspired you?
652
00:36:14,622 --> 00:36:16,958
It's what's best for the play.
653
00:36:18,626 --> 00:36:21,362
Not acceptable! I quit!
654
00:36:22,596 --> 00:36:26,367
Oh, man, you can't quit now.
655
00:36:31,940 --> 00:36:33,107
Rand!
656
00:36:36,244 --> 00:36:37,645
Rand! What?
657
00:36:38,479 --> 00:36:39,981
Let's talk about this.
658
00:36:40,014 --> 00:36:42,316
I hate you, you
stupid, fat fucker!
659
00:36:56,364 --> 00:36:57,898
Am I fat?
660
00:37:00,401 --> 00:37:01,678
I want you to meet
a friend of mine.
661
00:37:01,702 --> 00:37:03,104
He got stuck
inside my time machine.
662
00:37:03,137 --> 00:37:05,206
His name is Jesus Christ.
663
00:37:05,239 --> 00:37:08,109
Oh, yeah. We heard
you were coming back.
664
00:37:08,142 --> 00:37:10,578
Jesus has a rocking
swimmer's bod.
665
00:37:12,513 --> 00:37:15,283
Okay, can I ask you a question?
666
00:37:15,316 --> 00:37:16,584
Sure.
667
00:37:16,617 --> 00:37:18,619
What's really going on here?
668
00:37:18,652 --> 00:37:20,588
Is Jesus, like, a swimmer?
669
00:37:21,689 --> 00:37:24,325
Jesus is very lean...
670
00:37:24,358 --> 00:37:27,328
Can we please wait
until lunch to do that?
671
00:37:28,096 --> 00:37:29,297
Thank you.
672
00:37:33,101 --> 00:37:35,103
Where was I? Jesus has
a swimmer's body.
673
00:37:35,136 --> 00:37:36,971
Jesus has a swimmer's body,
674
00:37:37,005 --> 00:37:40,474
and while he's one of the more
spiritual people on Earth,
675
00:37:40,508 --> 00:37:42,410
he's also very
attractive to you.
676
00:37:42,443 --> 00:37:44,612
He's attractive to me?
677
00:37:44,645 --> 00:37:48,282
Jesus is sexy to you. Which leads
us on to the musical interlude,
678
00:37:48,316 --> 00:37:50,118
Rock Me, Sexy Jesus.
679
00:37:56,157 --> 00:38:01,395
Okay, you are 40-something
minutes late.
680
00:38:01,429 --> 00:38:03,197
I can't do the play.
681
00:38:03,697 --> 00:38:05,099
What?
682
00:38:05,133 --> 00:38:06,534
My dad's making me
quit the play.
683
00:38:06,567 --> 00:38:08,236
That's impossible.
You're the lead.
684
00:38:08,269 --> 00:38:09,270
He said, "No way."
685
00:38:09,303 --> 00:38:13,274
Goddamn macho bastards
and their fear of the arts.
686
00:38:14,208 --> 00:38:16,144
They just don't get it!
687
00:38:17,111 --> 00:38:20,148
Okay, we're fighting this.
688
00:38:20,181 --> 00:38:21,791
Even if we have to take
on the whole ghetto.
689
00:38:21,815 --> 00:38:23,684
No, wait. What do you mean?
690
00:38:23,717 --> 00:38:24,794
We're going to your house. Now.
691
00:38:24,818 --> 00:38:26,087
No, no, no, we can't do that.
692
00:38:26,120 --> 00:38:27,288
It's not a good idea.
693
00:38:27,321 --> 00:38:29,433
My father tried to stand in
the way of my dreams, too.
694
00:38:29,457 --> 00:38:31,325
He's dead now,
695
00:38:31,359 --> 00:38:35,129
but you could say, like Hamlet's
ghost, I'm still haunted by him.
696
00:38:35,163 --> 00:38:36,473
Because he caused me
so much pain,
697
00:38:36,497 --> 00:38:38,532
which is why I tried
to become an actor,
698
00:38:38,566 --> 00:38:42,236
which caused me so much pain.
699
00:38:48,176 --> 00:38:50,611
You can't let your
ethnic narrow-mindedness
700
00:38:50,644 --> 00:38:53,581
stop your son from
thriving in our culture.
701
00:38:53,614 --> 00:38:56,617
I have to take exception
to that characterization.
702
00:38:56,650 --> 00:38:58,219
Heywood's a bad boy.
703
00:38:58,252 --> 00:39:00,121
He's a gang-banger. A deadbeat.
704
00:39:00,154 --> 00:39:02,123
But he also has a gift.
705
00:39:02,490 --> 00:39:04,125
Who is Heywood?
706
00:39:05,126 --> 00:39:07,128
Your son, Heywood Jablomey.
707
00:39:09,363 --> 00:39:10,431
Oh.
708
00:39:10,464 --> 00:39:12,133
I just got that.
709
00:39:12,800 --> 00:39:14,768
Octavio doesn't
belong to a gang.
710
00:39:14,802 --> 00:39:18,072
He's got a 3.9 and an early
acceptance to Brown.
711
00:39:18,106 --> 00:39:19,340
He does?
712
00:39:19,373 --> 00:39:22,210
Yes, our concerns about the
play are of a different nature.
713
00:39:22,243 --> 00:39:25,179
If it's the sex and violence,
I can totally tone that down.
714
00:39:25,213 --> 00:39:26,614
No, we are fine with those.
715
00:39:26,647 --> 00:39:28,216
Then what is it?
716
00:39:28,249 --> 00:39:32,386
We merely expressed our
absolute distaste for a sequel
717
00:39:32,420 --> 00:39:35,689
to what is arguably the greatest
play in the English language.
718
00:39:35,723 --> 00:39:39,427
Not to mention the quality of the
writing, which is quite low.
719
00:39:42,596 --> 00:39:46,767
Well, no offense, but what
the hockey.
720
00:39:46,800 --> 00:39:49,137
Well, I've published
nine novels.
721
00:39:49,170 --> 00:39:51,205
I have a PhD in literature.
722
00:39:51,239 --> 00:39:53,141
My wife is a painter.
723
00:39:53,174 --> 00:39:56,644
She currently has an exhibit
at the Guggenheim in Bilbao.
724
00:39:57,311 --> 00:39:58,479
Oh, okay.
725
00:39:59,513 --> 00:40:00,514
Then...
726
00:40:01,582 --> 00:40:02,883
Help me fix my play!
727
00:40:02,916 --> 00:40:04,852
I'm trying to save drama!
728
00:40:04,885 --> 00:40:07,821
You have Hamlet
using a time machine
729
00:40:07,855 --> 00:40:10,758
to stop Gertrude from
drinking the poison,
730
00:40:10,791 --> 00:40:13,294
to stop Ophelia from drowning.
731
00:40:13,327 --> 00:40:16,297
You're taking the tragedy
out of the tragedy.
732
00:40:16,330 --> 00:40:20,868
I just wondered why in Hamlet
1 everybody has to die.
733
00:40:20,901 --> 00:40:24,805
It's such a downer! I mean, if Hamlet
had had just a little bit of therapy,
734
00:40:24,838 --> 00:40:26,840
he could have turned
everything around.
735
00:40:26,874 --> 00:40:30,244
Everybody deserves
a second chance!
736
00:40:30,278 --> 00:40:34,515
Yes, well, we'll let Octavio
make up his own mind.
737
00:40:34,548 --> 00:40:36,484
Thank you for taking the time.
738
00:40:36,517 --> 00:40:37,685
Let me show you the way out.
739
00:40:37,718 --> 00:40:39,487
Could we talk more?
740
00:40:39,520 --> 00:40:40,597
I would love to get your notes.
741
00:40:40,621 --> 00:40:42,356
I would do anything...
I'd do chores.
742
00:40:42,390 --> 00:40:43,891
I'd clean your rain gutters.
743
00:40:43,924 --> 00:40:44,858
I'm afraid we don't
have rain gutters.
744
00:40:44,892 --> 00:40:47,528
You're a liar, everybody
has rain gutters!
745
00:40:52,433 --> 00:40:53,667
Mr. Rocker?
746
00:40:53,701 --> 00:40:54,868
Yes, what is it, Rand?
747
00:40:58,372 --> 00:40:59,373
Here.
748
00:41:00,874 --> 00:41:03,244
Hamlet 2?
749
00:41:03,277 --> 00:41:04,812
It's the play Mr. Marschz wrote.
750
00:41:05,713 --> 00:41:07,915
What about it?
751
00:41:07,948 --> 00:41:09,883
I think you need
to take a look at it.
752
00:41:10,518 --> 00:41:12,386
Why?
753
00:41:12,420 --> 00:41:13,763
Let's just say that
when you get to the scene
754
00:41:13,787 --> 00:41:15,199
where Gertrude
gives Hamlet a hand job,
755
00:41:15,223 --> 00:41:16,790
you'll sense my drift.
756
00:41:16,824 --> 00:41:17,901
Did you just say "hand job"?
757
00:41:17,925 --> 00:41:19,693
Yes, I did.
758
00:41:19,727 --> 00:41:22,330
He thinks he's going to
save drama with this play.
759
00:41:22,363 --> 00:41:27,235
Mr. Rocker, if you care about decency
and if you love this country,
760
00:41:27,268 --> 00:41:30,571
you will stop Dana Marschz.
Take him down.
761
00:41:30,604 --> 00:41:32,473
Then take him from behind!
762
00:41:38,912 --> 00:41:41,649
PLAYERS: Go Mustangs!
763
00:41:41,682 --> 00:41:42,850
Hey!
764
00:41:42,883 --> 00:41:44,418
I'm here for her.
I'm here for her.
765
00:41:46,854 --> 00:41:52,260
Apologies, the Snackatorium is no
longer available, regrettably, because
766
00:41:52,293 --> 00:41:55,896
the ladies who make macaroni and
cheese are getting very territorial.
767
00:41:55,929 --> 00:42:03,003
So without further ado, I'd like to
introduce you to Elisabeth Shue.
768
00:42:03,036 --> 00:42:05,339
Elisabeth Shue, get up here.
769
00:42:05,373 --> 00:42:07,241
All right.
770
00:42:10,444 --> 00:42:11,479
Thank you.
771
00:42:11,512 --> 00:42:14,915
Thank you so much for having me.
772
00:42:14,948 --> 00:42:17,485
God, I really have a tough time
speaking in front of people.
773
00:42:17,518 --> 00:42:19,320
I get a little nervous.
774
00:42:19,353 --> 00:42:20,530
I'm way more nervous than you.
775
00:42:20,554 --> 00:42:23,491
I'm like... My brain
is like mush.
776
00:42:24,558 --> 00:42:27,295
Elisabeth Shue, is she real?
777
00:42:27,328 --> 00:42:29,563
Somebody pinch my ass.
778
00:42:29,597 --> 00:42:31,932
It's inappropriate.
I'm sorry. It's just...
779
00:42:31,965 --> 00:42:33,667
Should we just take questions?
780
00:42:33,701 --> 00:42:35,803
That'd be great.
781
00:42:35,836 --> 00:42:38,806
Okay, class, questions
for Ms. Shue.
782
00:42:39,607 --> 00:42:42,310
Someone other than Epiphany.
783
00:42:42,343 --> 00:42:45,313
Okay, not all at once.
784
00:42:45,346 --> 00:42:49,483
You guys, come on, I asked you
to prepare a few questions.
785
00:42:49,517 --> 00:42:50,818
You know, I'm a reasonable guy.
786
00:42:50,851 --> 00:42:52,553
I don't lose it when I...
787
00:42:52,586 --> 00:42:53,954
Jesus Christ!
788
00:42:53,987 --> 00:42:55,756
Can we not share
this space in peace?
789
00:43:03,731 --> 00:43:05,466
Epiphany?
790
00:43:05,499 --> 00:43:09,803
Hi. I just want to say I think
your make-up is pretty.
791
00:43:09,837 --> 00:43:11,372
Thank you. Thank you very much.
792
00:43:11,739 --> 00:43:12,873
It is nice.
793
00:43:12,906 --> 00:43:16,076
What about Mr.
Alpha Male up there?
794
00:43:16,109 --> 00:43:17,578
Got a question for Ms. Shue?
795
00:43:18,412 --> 00:43:19,680
Yeah.
796
00:43:20,881 --> 00:43:23,551
Who are you? Oh, come on!
797
00:43:23,584 --> 00:43:26,320
Could you not even Google her?
798
00:43:26,354 --> 00:43:29,723
The Karate Kid, the crane.
"Wax on, wax off."
799
00:43:29,757 --> 00:43:33,561
Soapdish. Dreamer,
with the fucking horse.
800
00:43:33,594 --> 00:43:35,763
Any of that shit ring a bell?
801
00:43:37,365 --> 00:43:39,400
Sorry. Pardon my French.
802
00:43:40,033 --> 00:43:42,336
I've heard
the word "shit" before.
803
00:43:42,370 --> 00:43:45,539
In Hollywood, you pretty
much have to swim in it.
804
00:43:45,573 --> 00:43:46,640
That is funny, that's...
805
00:43:47,841 --> 00:43:49,377
Excuse me for a second.
806
00:43:54,682 --> 00:43:57,050
What do you miss about acting?
807
00:43:57,084 --> 00:43:58,886
You know what I really
miss about acting?
808
00:43:58,919 --> 00:44:01,989
I miss kissing. In love scenes.
809
00:44:02,022 --> 00:44:05,659
I had so much fun making out
with all those cute actors.
810
00:44:05,693 --> 00:44:08,061
I would love to
stay and hear this.
811
00:44:09,697 --> 00:44:11,575
SHUE: Yeah, I think if I had
one complaint about nursing,
812
00:44:11,599 --> 00:44:15,469
it would be that you don't get
to make out with your patients.
813
00:44:20,073 --> 00:44:23,577
It's fricking exciting having
Elisabeth Shue in class.
814
00:44:23,611 --> 00:44:25,613
Because of its
unwholesome content,
815
00:44:25,646 --> 00:44:28,916
the school cannot allow the
exhibition of Hamlet 2.
816
00:44:30,017 --> 00:44:31,084
Where did you get that?
817
00:44:31,118 --> 00:44:32,753
Entirely beside the point.
818
00:44:32,786 --> 00:44:34,121
Did Rand give it to you?
819
00:44:34,154 --> 00:44:36,957
Nudity and pornography are not
permitted on the school premises.
820
00:44:36,990 --> 00:44:39,660
There's no nudity
or pornography!
821
00:44:40,160 --> 00:44:41,161
Minimal.
822
00:44:41,194 --> 00:44:42,696
You have Satan French-kissing
823
00:44:42,730 --> 00:44:44,798
the President of the
United States of America!
824
00:44:44,832 --> 00:44:48,536
It's a parting embrace before
the moment of damnation.
825
00:44:48,569 --> 00:44:50,137
The climax of a modernist dance.
826
00:44:50,170 --> 00:44:52,005
I think when all
is said and done,
827
00:44:52,039 --> 00:44:53,841
you will find it quite moving.
828
00:44:53,874 --> 00:44:55,909
Trust me, I won't.
829
00:44:55,943 --> 00:44:58,512
We're 10 days away.
Things are in motion.
830
00:44:58,546 --> 00:44:59,913
Art is happening.
831
00:44:59,947 --> 00:45:01,682
Well, stop it.
832
00:45:01,715 --> 00:45:03,851
You can't stop art.
833
00:45:03,884 --> 00:45:05,586
You're shut down, Marx!
834
00:45:05,619 --> 00:45:07,154
No, you are. You are.
835
00:45:07,187 --> 00:45:10,424
You never believed in me, Daddy!
I hate you!
836
00:45:10,458 --> 00:45:13,527
We're putting this play on, and if you
don't like it, then tough titties,
837
00:45:13,561 --> 00:45:15,663
you ass-turd monkey-fucker!
838
00:45:24,204 --> 00:45:25,739
Oh, my God!
839
00:45:37,551 --> 00:45:38,919
Let me see.
840
00:45:39,953 --> 00:45:42,456
Oh, Shue.
841
00:45:42,490 --> 00:45:45,058
How do you keep your head held
high when people keep throwing
842
00:45:45,092 --> 00:45:48,061
steaming piles of
crap in your face?
843
00:45:48,095 --> 00:45:49,930
I know, I know.
844
00:45:51,198 --> 00:45:53,867
That's why I got
out of the business.
845
00:46:06,847 --> 00:46:08,181
Well, fuck you, too.
846
00:46:08,215 --> 00:46:09,717
I have to elevate it.
847
00:46:11,084 --> 00:46:14,788
It's not broken and, yes,
I will still be able
848
00:46:14,822 --> 00:46:18,125
to play any and all
musical instruments.
849
00:46:21,729 --> 00:46:23,831
I have to tell you something.
850
00:46:28,869 --> 00:46:30,203
I'm pregnant.
851
00:46:34,307 --> 00:46:35,509
Really?
852
00:46:40,681 --> 00:46:41,749
Are you shitting me?
853
00:46:41,782 --> 00:46:43,016
No, no.
854
00:46:46,820 --> 00:46:49,122
Christ in a basket, Dana.
That's too tight.
855
00:46:49,156 --> 00:46:50,558
And it will always be too tight.
856
00:46:50,591 --> 00:46:53,527
I will never not hug
this unborn baby!
857
00:47:04,705 --> 00:47:06,807
It's like he's giving me hope.
858
00:47:07,641 --> 00:47:08,709
Who?
859
00:47:09,610 --> 00:47:10,644
God.
860
00:47:13,814 --> 00:47:15,949
NARRATOR: At this point,
it felt to Dana
861
00:47:15,983 --> 00:47:18,986
as if the air was
perfumed with possibility.
862
00:47:19,019 --> 00:47:22,990
But just as Icarus flew
high on wings of wax,
863
00:47:23,023 --> 00:47:26,059
oblivious to his impending doom,
864
00:47:26,093 --> 00:47:29,697
so was poor, dear Dana Marschz.
865
00:47:43,611 --> 00:47:45,145
Well, I'm lost.
866
00:47:49,983 --> 00:47:53,921
Is blue the right color
867
00:47:53,954 --> 00:47:56,890
for a controversial piece
of socio-political agit.
868
00:47:59,159 --> 00:48:01,294
I think blue makes people sad.
869
00:48:08,736 --> 00:48:10,037
Yes, it does.
870
00:48:10,904 --> 00:48:12,640
There's also orange.
871
00:48:13,373 --> 00:48:14,742
Orange.
872
00:48:16,810 --> 00:48:18,879
The color of fire.
873
00:48:18,912 --> 00:48:23,283
Of ripe tangerines,
of the poet's harvest moon!
874
00:48:30,791 --> 00:48:33,126
Glenn, we've done it!
875
00:48:39,432 --> 00:48:41,301
Stop staring at me.
876
00:48:41,969 --> 00:48:43,837
Okay, all right. Okay.
877
00:48:45,939 --> 00:48:48,175
It's ridiculous. But I love it.
878
00:48:50,177 --> 00:48:52,980
Okay, guys, I am
pretty effing excited
879
00:48:53,013 --> 00:48:56,249
to announce that the musical
accompaniment to our play
880
00:48:56,283 --> 00:49:00,287
will be provided by the Gay
Men's Chorus of Tucson!
881
00:49:02,422 --> 00:49:05,759
Just a steel-town girl
on a Saturday night.
882
00:49:05,793 --> 00:49:09,029
Looking for
the fight of her life.
883
00:49:09,062 --> 00:49:12,265
In the real-time world
no one sees her at all.
884
00:49:12,299 --> 00:49:15,803
They all say she's crazy.
885
00:49:15,836 --> 00:49:18,906
Locking rhythms to
the beat of her heart.
886
00:49:18,939 --> 00:49:22,075
Changing movement into light.
887
00:49:22,109 --> 00:49:25,713
She has danced
into the danger zone.
888
00:49:25,746 --> 00:49:30,250
When the dancer
becomes the dance.
889
00:49:30,283 --> 00:49:33,420
It can cut you like a knife.
890
00:49:33,453 --> 00:49:37,257
Hey, guys, thanks a lot for
donating your wire-work services.
891
00:49:37,290 --> 00:49:39,059
It really helped out a lot.
892
00:49:39,092 --> 00:49:41,394
When did you guys get started?
893
00:49:41,428 --> 00:49:44,397
We seen them Kill Bill
movies, like, 20 times,
894
00:49:44,431 --> 00:49:47,334
and we said,
"Shit, we got some wire,"
895
00:49:47,367 --> 00:49:49,136
"we got some harnesses."
896
00:49:49,169 --> 00:49:52,005
So we get to work
in the backyard,
897
00:49:52,039 --> 00:49:54,808
and next thing you know,
we're in show business.
898
00:49:54,842 --> 00:49:57,310
So this is your first attempt?
899
00:49:57,344 --> 00:49:59,079
Yes, sir.
900
00:49:59,112 --> 00:50:00,848
Now hold on, girl.
901
00:50:01,982 --> 00:50:05,152
Three, two, one.
902
00:50:11,524 --> 00:50:12,860
That's cool.
903
00:50:12,893 --> 00:50:18,732
Okay. So this is the Danish
castle/porno theater/time machine.
904
00:50:18,766 --> 00:50:21,268
It's fantastic.
905
00:50:21,301 --> 00:50:25,806
I don't know what it means, but I think
it's the best set I've ever seen.
906
00:50:25,839 --> 00:50:27,040
Yeah? Yeah.
907
00:50:27,074 --> 00:50:28,942
Who said shop class was useless?
908
00:50:28,976 --> 00:50:30,778
I don't know.
909
00:50:30,811 --> 00:50:32,112
Wait, somebody said that?
910
00:50:32,145 --> 00:50:33,380
It's a figure of speech.
911
00:50:33,914 --> 00:50:35,315
Hey, M. Hey.
912
00:50:35,348 --> 00:50:37,150
Hey, my buddy's
meth lab burned down.
913
00:50:37,184 --> 00:50:38,451
I'm sorry to hear that.
914
00:50:38,485 --> 00:50:41,021
No, it's going to be some pretty
cherry footage for the play.
915
00:50:41,054 --> 00:50:42,956
Well, excellent. Hey, girls.
916
00:50:42,990 --> 00:50:44,257
Hey, Mr. Marschz. What?
917
00:50:44,291 --> 00:50:46,159
I was thinking, what
if me and my whoadies
918
00:50:46,193 --> 00:50:49,396
rolled up in low-riders
on stage in the third act?
919
00:50:49,429 --> 00:50:50,998
That sounds kind of dangerous.
920
00:50:51,031 --> 00:50:52,365
Yeah, maybe so.
921
00:50:52,399 --> 00:50:55,535
Which is why I want to do it.
922
00:50:55,568 --> 00:50:58,138
We are not making safe theater.
923
00:51:00,140 --> 00:51:01,909
I'm in the wrong place.
924
00:51:06,947 --> 00:51:09,783
Jesus Jones! Rocker's
changed the locks.
925
00:51:11,584 --> 00:51:15,022
That is the first shot across
the bow, boys and girls.
926
00:51:15,055 --> 00:51:17,557
Just like that wonderful film
Master and Commander,
927
00:51:17,590 --> 00:51:21,161
starring the terrifyingly real
Aussie badboy, Russell Crowe.
928
00:51:21,194 --> 00:51:23,463
Five more seconds.
929
00:51:23,496 --> 00:51:27,434
Okay, Chuy, breaking and entering
is neither cool nor terrific.
930
00:51:28,601 --> 00:51:31,004
But we got shit to do.
931
00:51:32,472 --> 00:51:37,177
Hey, you get off school
property in the next 10 seconds
932
00:51:37,210 --> 00:51:39,279
or I'm gonna have the
Tucson police department
933
00:51:39,312 --> 00:51:42,215
so far up your ass you're
gonna wish you were a girl.
934
00:52:01,101 --> 00:52:03,303
"What about Hamlet 2
could possibly offend."
935
00:52:03,336 --> 00:52:05,505
"Principal Rocker
to such a degree?"
936
00:52:05,538 --> 00:52:07,474
"Or is offense
the offense at all?"
937
00:52:07,507 --> 00:52:09,042
"Truth is a nebulous commodity."
938
00:52:09,076 --> 00:52:13,981
"As Roland Barthes tells us, 'Multiple
perspectives cannot ever coalesce.'"
939
00:52:14,014 --> 00:52:15,348
Does anybody know
what this means?
940
00:52:15,382 --> 00:52:16,884
Did you see this
article in the paper?
941
00:52:16,917 --> 00:52:18,194
We're already reading it, woman.
942
00:52:18,218 --> 00:52:20,320
Not the school paper.
The News Press.
943
00:52:20,353 --> 00:52:21,922
I stole it from Starbucks.
944
00:52:21,955 --> 00:52:23,299
You really think you're
street, don't you?
945
00:52:23,323 --> 00:52:25,292
Don't fuck with me,
homey! I'll cut you.
946
00:52:25,325 --> 00:52:29,129
I liked you better when you
were an uptight racist bitch.
947
00:52:29,963 --> 00:52:31,564
Oh, my God.
948
00:52:31,598 --> 00:52:33,867
"Why is the school board
afraid of this man?"
949
00:52:33,901 --> 00:52:35,102
That's a picture of me.
950
00:52:35,135 --> 00:52:37,604
I was an extra in
an Al Jazeera TV movie.
951
00:52:37,637 --> 00:52:40,908
I regret it now, but what
a fun bunch of guys.
952
00:52:41,608 --> 00:52:42,976
Dana Marsha?
953
00:52:43,010 --> 00:52:44,077
Marschz. Yes?
954
00:52:45,378 --> 00:52:46,613
Consider yourself served.
955
00:52:46,646 --> 00:52:48,048
Thank you.
956
00:52:48,081 --> 00:52:52,185
What a nice man.
A smile costs nothing.
957
00:52:52,219 --> 00:52:54,888
Oh, shit, this is a cease and
desist order from the school board.
958
00:52:54,922 --> 00:52:56,089
What does that mean?
959
00:52:56,123 --> 00:52:58,425
That means you can be arrested
for putting on this play.
960
00:52:58,458 --> 00:53:02,229
Hey, hey, hey.
Hey, mister, un-serve me!
961
00:53:20,547 --> 00:53:22,115
All right, mystery man.
962
00:53:22,149 --> 00:53:23,483
Why have you brought us here?
963
00:53:23,516 --> 00:53:24,584
Yeah.
964
00:53:24,617 --> 00:53:25,618
Yeah, why?
965
00:53:25,652 --> 00:53:27,320
This is Joy Junction.
966
00:53:27,354 --> 00:53:29,122
You know, that
positive ionic flow.
967
00:53:29,156 --> 00:53:32,692
Jean-Paul, the crew, Burning
Man, the lunar cycle, yeah.
968
00:53:32,725 --> 00:53:33,994
So?
969
00:53:34,027 --> 00:53:35,128
Yeah, yo.
970
00:53:35,162 --> 00:53:36,196
Yeah, yo.
971
00:53:37,965 --> 00:53:39,299
Okay, you started
to say something
972
00:53:39,332 --> 00:53:40,609
and didn't finish your sentence.
973
00:53:40,633 --> 00:53:42,302
You didn't? No, no, you.
974
00:53:42,335 --> 00:53:43,703
No, I know you.
975
00:53:43,736 --> 00:53:45,205
No, N-O, "no."
976
00:53:45,238 --> 00:53:47,440
No, no, more yes.
You know, less no.
977
00:53:47,474 --> 00:53:50,343
Okay, I'm a little
cuckoo-bananas here.
978
00:53:51,311 --> 00:53:52,579
Look, they throw parties here.
979
00:53:52,612 --> 00:53:54,014
The promoters are
at Burning Man.
980
00:53:54,047 --> 00:53:56,116
We can use the space.
981
00:53:56,149 --> 00:53:57,150
Oh!
982
00:54:05,425 --> 00:54:09,129
He does lighting and stuff like that.
See Vitamin J,
983
00:54:09,162 --> 00:54:11,698
he acts like a huge dumb-ass,
984
00:54:11,731 --> 00:54:13,933
but he really knows
what he's doing.
985
00:54:19,372 --> 00:54:21,141
Let there be light.
986
00:54:22,475 --> 00:54:24,211
Ah! My eyes!
987
00:54:30,383 --> 00:54:32,385
Mr. Marashka?
988
00:54:32,419 --> 00:54:36,056
Who? It's Marschz. Yes.
989
00:54:36,089 --> 00:54:39,159
Cricket Feldstein, American
Civil Liberties Union.
990
00:54:39,192 --> 00:54:40,727
We spoke on the phone.
991
00:54:41,694 --> 00:54:42,895
The ACLU.
992
00:54:42,929 --> 00:54:46,533
Oh, I thought you were a
talent agent, like UTA or CAA.
993
00:54:46,566 --> 00:54:49,202
But totally not disappointed.
994
00:54:49,236 --> 00:54:52,472
If you're wondering about the
Feldstein, I married a Jew.
995
00:54:52,505 --> 00:54:54,507
It's my understanding
that there are forces
996
00:54:54,541 --> 00:54:57,244
trying to stop you
from performing Hamlet 2.
997
00:54:57,277 --> 00:54:58,717
You received
a cease and desist order
998
00:54:58,745 --> 00:55:00,013
in regards to this performance?
999
00:55:00,047 --> 00:55:01,381
Yes.
1000
00:55:01,414 --> 00:55:04,517
I think we have a First Amendment
case on our hands, Mr. Marashka.
1001
00:55:04,551 --> 00:55:06,486
It's Marschz.
You really think so?
1002
00:55:06,519 --> 00:55:09,189
Abso-fucking-lutely.
1003
00:55:09,222 --> 00:55:11,458
No one is shutting
down this play.
1004
00:55:11,491 --> 00:55:14,194
The Justice Department and
the so-called Supreme Court
1005
00:55:14,227 --> 00:55:15,795
can suck my balls.
1006
00:55:15,828 --> 00:55:18,065
What do they have to do with this?
My balls?
1007
00:55:18,098 --> 00:55:19,132
No, the other thing.
1008
00:55:19,166 --> 00:55:21,268
I'm a short blond chick,
but I play to the death.
1009
00:55:21,301 --> 00:55:24,471
I pick cases that I can win
because I wanna win big.
1010
00:55:24,504 --> 00:55:26,606
Cases with controversy
and headlines
1011
00:55:26,639 --> 00:55:29,542
and steaming piles of shit
flying left and right.
1012
00:55:29,576 --> 00:55:32,345
Mostly left. How's that sound?
1013
00:55:32,379 --> 00:55:33,380
Fine.
1014
00:55:36,216 --> 00:55:38,151
Are you on my side? Yes.
1015
00:55:38,185 --> 00:55:39,719
Great, let's do it! Okay then.
1016
00:55:40,620 --> 00:55:42,055
Do I need to sign anything?
1017
00:55:42,089 --> 00:55:43,523
No, don't sign anything!
1018
00:55:48,128 --> 00:55:49,605
I think the play's
gonna be really good.
1019
00:55:49,629 --> 00:55:51,264
It's irrelevant.
1020
00:55:51,298 --> 00:55:52,365
Okay.
1021
00:56:00,773 --> 00:56:06,413
Goddamn gravel!
The bane of my existence!
1022
00:56:10,217 --> 00:56:11,418
Brights!
1023
00:56:19,626 --> 00:56:20,827
Oh, my God!
1024
00:56:34,241 --> 00:56:36,576
Shut down that
piece of shit play.
1025
00:56:43,550 --> 00:56:45,652
Bruised, but not broken.
1026
00:56:47,854 --> 00:56:50,623
Turns out my play has
divided the community,
1027
00:56:50,657 --> 00:56:52,225
but I shall not be deterred.
1028
00:56:52,259 --> 00:56:53,193
Dana.
1029
00:56:53,226 --> 00:56:55,528
Hang on, I'm going to
run myself a big bath.
1030
00:56:55,562 --> 00:56:58,365
Dana. I have had, hands down,
1031
00:56:58,398 --> 00:57:00,867
the worst day ever.
1032
00:57:00,900 --> 00:57:06,206
Hey, there's no delicate way
of saying this except...
1033
00:57:06,239 --> 00:57:08,908
Except Gary and I are
together, and we're a couple,
1034
00:57:08,941 --> 00:57:11,344
and we're moving out now.
1035
00:57:11,378 --> 00:57:14,514
Yeah, I'm gonna run myself a big
Arthur -style bath with bubbles.
1036
00:57:14,547 --> 00:57:15,682
I'm sorry.
1037
00:57:15,715 --> 00:57:17,517
And I'm gonna put on my top hat,
1038
00:57:17,550 --> 00:57:19,652
and wish all my troubles
into a cornfield.
1039
00:57:19,686 --> 00:57:21,654
That's what I'm gonna do.
1040
00:57:21,688 --> 00:57:23,756
Didn't you hear
what I just said?
1041
00:57:23,790 --> 00:57:26,226
Yes, I did, funny bunny.
1042
00:57:26,259 --> 00:57:27,394
Dana.
1043
00:57:27,427 --> 00:57:29,762
We're packed, we're leaving.
1044
00:57:29,796 --> 00:57:31,831
We're moving to San Diego.
1045
00:57:32,699 --> 00:57:34,401
God, I almost believe you.
1046
00:57:35,502 --> 00:57:37,204
Believe it!
1047
00:57:37,937 --> 00:57:40,373
But why? You're my wife.
1048
00:57:40,407 --> 00:57:42,409
Your wife is leaving you.
1049
00:57:46,513 --> 00:57:48,948
Gary and I have been getting
closer for a while now,
1050
00:57:48,981 --> 00:57:52,852
and turns out we are
very compatible.
1051
00:57:52,885 --> 00:57:56,356
As long as he keeps his mouth shut.
Anyway.
1052
00:57:56,389 --> 00:58:00,893
Look, you've been so busy with your
play, and these things happen.
1053
00:58:00,927 --> 00:58:02,829
So, don't sweat it. It's...
1054
00:58:04,631 --> 00:58:06,833
You'll be much
happier without me.
1055
00:58:08,601 --> 00:58:10,470
What about the baby?
1056
00:58:12,272 --> 00:58:14,441
The doctor told me a while ago
1057
00:58:14,474 --> 00:58:16,643
that you've been
shooting blanks.
1058
00:58:16,676 --> 00:58:18,811
I should have said something.
1059
00:58:22,449 --> 00:58:23,883
That must mean...
1060
00:58:28,955 --> 00:58:29,956
Wow.
1061
00:58:30,657 --> 00:58:31,658
Yeah.
1062
00:58:32,592 --> 00:58:33,626
Yeah.
1063
00:58:39,532 --> 00:58:43,270
Brie, I'm starting to think you
are not a very nice person.
1064
00:58:43,870 --> 00:58:45,838
Just wake up, okay?
1065
00:58:50,977 --> 00:58:53,680
Left you a protein
shake in the fridge.
1066
00:58:53,713 --> 00:58:54,847
BRIE: Gary, let's go.
1067
00:58:54,881 --> 00:58:55,948
It's strawberry.
1068
00:59:10,062 --> 00:59:12,932
Electric and phone bills
are right there,
1069
00:59:12,965 --> 00:59:15,402
and the rent's due on Thursday.
1070
00:59:18,671 --> 00:59:20,607
Good luck with the play.
1071
00:59:23,443 --> 00:59:26,313
You really will be
better off without me.
1072
00:59:30,717 --> 00:59:31,851
Come on.
1073
00:59:43,463 --> 00:59:45,932
She's a maniac.
1074
00:59:46,833 --> 00:59:49,836
Maniac on the floor.
1075
00:59:53,473 --> 00:59:58,511
And she's dancing like
she's never danced before.
1076
01:00:41,721 --> 01:00:42,955
Oh, boy.
1077
01:01:00,440 --> 01:01:01,441
Fuck!
1078
01:01:07,480 --> 01:01:10,583
Hey, what's cheap and strong?
1079
01:01:11,918 --> 01:01:13,753
Grain alcohol.
1080
01:01:17,490 --> 01:01:20,593
I feel like I'm in a cage.
1081
01:01:20,627 --> 01:01:25,565
And I feel like Nicolas
Cage in Leaving Las Vegas.
1082
01:01:26,766 --> 01:01:29,802
Starring my good friend,
Elisabeth Shue.
1083
01:01:29,836 --> 01:01:32,104
$8.40.
1084
01:01:38,745 --> 01:01:43,049
I'm sorry. Sorry about that.
1085
01:01:43,082 --> 01:01:44,651
Can I use your bathroom?
1086
01:01:44,684 --> 01:01:45,718
No.
1087
01:01:48,721 --> 01:01:51,057
Hey, we got the TVs.
1088
01:01:52,091 --> 01:01:53,760
There's a hundred sets
in there, woman!
1089
01:01:53,793 --> 01:01:55,428
Where did you get them all?
1090
01:01:55,462 --> 01:01:57,430
Stole them from
white folks, dawg.
1091
01:01:57,464 --> 01:01:59,766
I have to say something, guys.
1092
01:01:59,799 --> 01:02:02,068
I really think
Mr. Marschz is bipolar.
1093
01:02:02,101 --> 01:02:03,536
Just like my cousin.
1094
01:02:03,570 --> 01:02:05,171
But she takes pills.
1095
01:02:05,204 --> 01:02:07,607
He's not bipolar. He's a freak.
1096
01:02:07,640 --> 01:02:09,976
Do you think he realizes that
every time he wears a dress
1097
01:02:10,009 --> 01:02:11,644
he's flashing his balls at us?
1098
01:02:11,678 --> 01:02:12,821
You know, where is he anyway?
1099
01:02:12,845 --> 01:02:15,081
He was supposed to be
here two hours ago.
1100
01:02:15,114 --> 01:02:16,683
Maybe he's out
shopping for a dress.
1101
01:02:16,716 --> 01:02:18,050
He should buy some underwear.
1102
01:02:21,053 --> 01:02:23,213
Who do you think you are
talking like that, white girl?
1103
01:02:25,658 --> 01:02:29,462
I heard everything.
I heard everything!
1104
01:02:32,865 --> 01:02:35,201
I haven't bought an item of
clothing in over 10 years
1105
01:02:35,234 --> 01:02:36,679
because I don't get
paid for this job.
1106
01:02:36,703 --> 01:02:38,705
Did you know that?
1107
01:02:38,738 --> 01:02:42,575
I work for gas money,
which is why I skate.
1108
01:02:44,977 --> 01:02:46,479
That and the DUI.
1109
01:02:52,284 --> 01:02:54,821
My life is a parody
of a tragedy!
1110
01:02:57,657 --> 01:03:01,628
My wife left me.
Baby wasn't mine.
1111
01:03:03,295 --> 01:03:05,598
People are trying
to run me over.
1112
01:03:06,666 --> 01:03:08,167
What are we supposed to do?
1113
01:03:09,769 --> 01:03:10,937
It doesn't matter.
1114
01:03:12,204 --> 01:03:13,940
We're not gonna
get this play on.
1115
01:03:13,973 --> 01:03:15,975
We might as well give up now!
1116
01:03:16,275 --> 01:03:17,544
What?
1117
01:03:17,577 --> 01:03:18,678
He works for gas money?
1118
01:03:19,812 --> 01:03:21,013
That is so sad.
1119
01:03:28,855 --> 01:03:30,623
Mr. M!
1120
01:03:31,257 --> 01:03:32,925
EPIPHANY: Mr. M!
1121
01:03:32,959 --> 01:03:33,959
What happened?
1122
01:03:35,595 --> 01:03:37,897
Get away from me,
you devil bitches.
1123
01:03:39,165 --> 01:03:40,867
Leave me to the vultures.
1124
01:03:42,134 --> 01:03:43,269
Pussy!
1125
01:03:46,272 --> 01:03:48,207
Yolanda.
1126
01:03:48,240 --> 01:03:51,177
You come in here and tell
us all to be artistic,
1127
01:03:51,210 --> 01:03:53,580
and put on your crazy-ass play,
1128
01:03:53,613 --> 01:03:58,017
and when things get a little rough,
you act like a fucking pussy?
1129
01:04:01,954 --> 01:04:06,092
Yolanda, you don't say much, but
when you do, it sure packs a wallop.
1130
01:04:06,125 --> 01:04:07,326
She's right!
1131
01:04:07,359 --> 01:04:09,762
Okay, you've had a pretty bad
day, I'll give you that.
1132
01:04:09,796 --> 01:04:11,106
But that doesn't
mean you give up.
1133
01:04:11,130 --> 01:04:12,632
Why not?
1134
01:04:12,665 --> 01:04:13,766
Nobody cares.
1135
01:04:13,800 --> 01:04:15,001
Yeah, we do.
1136
01:04:15,034 --> 01:04:16,736
I don't want your pity.
1137
01:04:17,804 --> 01:04:20,039
Man, you keep talking about
making us extraordinary.
1138
01:04:21,273 --> 01:04:22,975
That's from Dead Poets.
1139
01:04:23,009 --> 01:04:25,912
Well, you're teaching us
something really important.
1140
01:04:25,945 --> 01:04:27,780
I am.
1141
01:04:27,814 --> 01:04:29,291
It doesn't matter how
much talent we lack,
1142
01:04:29,315 --> 01:04:31,183
as long as we have enthusiasm.
1143
01:04:31,217 --> 01:04:33,252
That's truth.
Because I lack talent.
1144
01:04:34,721 --> 01:04:38,257
The football team,
the wrestling team
1145
01:04:38,290 --> 01:04:40,993
and all the seniors
are gonna be like security
1146
01:04:41,027 --> 01:04:43,930
and kick the asses of anyone
who tries to stop this play.
1147
01:04:43,963 --> 01:04:46,008
Yeah. And I got some friends
to watch the parking lot
1148
01:04:46,032 --> 01:04:48,310
just in case we have any trouble,
you know what I'm saying?
1149
01:04:48,334 --> 01:04:50,737
And we're also sold out.
1150
01:04:52,004 --> 01:04:53,105
What?
1151
01:04:53,139 --> 01:04:54,707
Mr. M, you're not getting it.
1152
01:04:54,741 --> 01:04:56,051
Like, all the tickets
were bought.
1153
01:04:56,075 --> 01:04:57,176
Channel 5 is coming.
1154
01:04:57,209 --> 01:04:59,178
And I got a call from one
of Elton John's people,
1155
01:04:59,211 --> 01:05:00,479
something about permission.
1156
01:05:00,512 --> 01:05:04,617
And there was a message from
this guy at the New York Times.
1157
01:05:05,417 --> 01:05:06,886
OCTAVIO: Mr. M,
1158
01:05:09,288 --> 01:05:10,923
we don't wanna give up.
1159
01:05:12,358 --> 01:05:13,793
I just get scared.
1160
01:05:14,894 --> 01:05:16,663
Every time I try
to go for something,
1161
01:05:16,696 --> 01:05:19,031
my heart gets stomped
on like a baby kitten.
1162
01:05:20,833 --> 01:05:23,402
That's no reason to give up.
1163
01:05:23,435 --> 01:05:25,604
Maybe it is. No, it's not.
1164
01:05:34,714 --> 01:05:35,882
OCTAVIO: Help him up.
1165
01:05:40,987 --> 01:05:42,154
Let's go to work.
1166
01:05:46,225 --> 01:05:51,330
Okay, hey, guys,
my skate is stuck.
1167
01:05:55,401 --> 01:05:57,169
I'm such a dick.
1168
01:06:07,446 --> 01:06:10,282
Wait, what are you
doing? Let go of me.
1169
01:06:10,316 --> 01:06:14,386
I'm not interested in this
monkey-spunk play. Come on!
1170
01:06:14,420 --> 01:06:16,188
Ticket holders only.
1171
01:06:16,222 --> 01:06:18,390
This event is sold out.
1172
01:06:18,424 --> 01:06:21,327
If you don't have a ticket,
get the fuck out of my face.
1173
01:06:21,360 --> 01:06:24,096
I am revoking permission
for my son to appear tonight.
1174
01:06:24,130 --> 01:06:25,131
I am, too.
1175
01:06:25,164 --> 01:06:26,198
And so am I.
1176
01:06:26,899 --> 01:06:28,067
But why now?
1177
01:06:28,100 --> 01:06:30,336
I heard the play was disgusting.
1178
01:06:30,369 --> 01:06:32,872
How can you say that
if you haven't seen it?
1179
01:06:32,905 --> 01:06:35,141
What about this Sexy Jesus song?
1180
01:06:35,174 --> 01:06:37,409
I mean, that's
just disrespectful.
1181
01:06:37,443 --> 01:06:41,147
Look, it's about if Jesus came
to Earth in modern times,
1182
01:06:41,180 --> 01:06:43,750
he would have to market
himself like a celebrity.
1183
01:06:43,783 --> 01:06:45,351
It's very thoughtful.
1184
01:06:45,384 --> 01:06:47,419
That's an
oversimplification, but...
1185
01:06:47,453 --> 01:06:50,890
I don't care to see my son
used as a political pawn!
1186
01:06:50,923 --> 01:06:53,092
I'm doing this play
for my own reasons.
1187
01:06:53,125 --> 01:06:55,303
You know, according to the Ninth
Circuit Court of Appeals,
1188
01:06:55,327 --> 01:06:57,472
if you sign a consent form, that
means you're giving consent.
1189
01:06:57,496 --> 01:06:58,965
And you can't
take that form back,
1190
01:06:58,998 --> 01:07:00,175
you can't take
your signature off it.
1191
01:07:00,199 --> 01:07:01,801
You signed it,
you signed consent.
1192
01:07:01,834 --> 01:07:03,178
So end of deal, okay.
End of story.
1193
01:07:03,202 --> 01:07:05,037
Sorry, you guys, but you
totally gave consent.
1194
01:07:05,071 --> 01:07:07,273
You don't control our kids!
1195
01:07:07,306 --> 01:07:10,176
Wake up call! You don't
control your kids!
1196
01:07:11,243 --> 01:07:12,745
Now get out of my
performance space,
1197
01:07:12,779 --> 01:07:14,914
before I have security,
a.k.a. the 2nd Avenue Angels,
1198
01:07:14,947 --> 01:07:16,883
remove your sorry asses.
1199
01:07:21,854 --> 01:07:24,023
How did you get
the balls to do that?
1200
01:07:24,056 --> 01:07:25,825
I'm still a little drunk.
1201
01:07:45,912 --> 01:07:48,380
What if I have to
go to the bathroom?
1202
01:07:48,414 --> 01:07:51,383
Okay, I'll just piss on your
pretty little gym shoes.
1203
01:07:54,520 --> 01:07:59,191
Welcome to West Mesa High
Drama's final performance.
1204
01:07:59,225 --> 01:08:02,294
If you are moved
by tonight's work,
1205
01:08:02,328 --> 01:08:05,865
please go forward and
support arts education...
1206
01:08:05,898 --> 01:08:08,067
Eat shit and die, you tramp.
1207
01:08:10,602 --> 01:08:13,305
Let go of me! Hey, hands off!
1208
01:08:13,339 --> 01:08:17,476
And please take this opportunity
to turn off all cell phones.
1209
01:08:25,184 --> 01:08:26,552
It's the celestial message.
1210
01:08:26,585 --> 01:08:30,289
The portal to infinity
is wide open.
1211
01:08:40,199 --> 01:08:45,104
Yeah! Fuck yeah!
1212
01:09:34,653 --> 01:09:36,455
Look. I studied
French at Vassar.
1213
01:09:36,488 --> 01:09:38,657
I'm not getting any of this.
1214
01:09:38,690 --> 01:09:40,960
Well, can you give us an update?
1215
01:09:42,261 --> 01:09:45,231
Free speech is alive
and well in Tucson,
1216
01:09:45,264 --> 01:09:47,466
so go and tell the mundo.
1217
01:09:48,467 --> 01:09:50,136
I think it's going terrific.
1218
01:09:50,169 --> 01:09:51,603
Are people still walking out?
1219
01:09:53,705 --> 01:09:55,107
Mr. Marschz,
1220
01:09:55,141 --> 01:09:58,277
this is the most important theatrical
event in the history of Tucson.
1221
01:09:58,310 --> 01:10:00,246
I have to be a part of it.
1222
01:10:00,279 --> 01:10:03,215
Rand, that is a very brave
and generous thing to...
1223
01:10:03,249 --> 01:10:04,951
Piff took the fries.
1224
01:10:04,984 --> 01:10:06,919
I've been going to a
shrink five days a week
1225
01:10:06,953 --> 01:10:08,654
and I started on
anti-depressants
1226
01:10:08,687 --> 01:10:12,925
and I'm much more comfortable
with my sexuality.
1227
01:10:12,959 --> 01:10:15,694
I'd be happy to play
Laertes as bi-curious.
1228
01:10:15,727 --> 01:10:17,363
That's wonderful!
1229
01:10:18,297 --> 01:10:20,232
And I forgive you.
1230
01:10:25,637 --> 01:10:28,340
Okay. Stop it. Go get changed.
1231
01:10:28,374 --> 01:10:29,408
Okay.
1232
01:10:33,079 --> 01:10:39,485
Sometimes I feel
like I'm drifting in space.
1233
01:10:40,652 --> 01:10:47,093
I think my heart-soul
is falling from grace.
1234
01:10:48,394 --> 01:10:53,732
Therapy's taken me
to a better place.
1235
01:10:53,765 --> 01:11:00,439
So why do I feel, why do I feel.
1236
01:11:00,472 --> 01:11:05,111
Why do I feel like
I've been raped in the face?
1237
01:11:06,745 --> 01:11:08,580
Raped in the face?
1238
01:11:08,614 --> 01:11:11,717
Maybe it's buried emotions.
1239
01:11:11,750 --> 01:11:15,421
Or maybe the wrong medication
1240
01:11:15,454 --> 01:11:18,991
I simply go through the motions.
1241
01:11:19,025 --> 01:11:22,261
They say I need a vacation.
1242
01:11:24,030 --> 01:11:27,199
I really do feel
like a sexual victim.
1243
01:11:27,233 --> 01:11:30,402
With dark memories
of a rigid dictum.
1244
01:11:30,436 --> 01:11:32,071
This is disgusting! Shut up!
1245
01:11:32,104 --> 01:11:35,307
This means I love you,
he murmured.
1246
01:11:35,341 --> 01:11:38,610
This will be our little secret.
1247
01:11:38,644 --> 01:11:42,214
You'll wind up horribly murdered.
1248
01:11:42,248 --> 01:11:45,517
If you should
dare not to keep it.
1249
01:11:47,419 --> 01:11:53,325
I know the topic
of rape isn't nice.
1250
01:11:53,359 --> 01:11:59,365
Don't bring it up
when you're breaking the ice.
1251
01:11:59,398 --> 01:12:05,271
Is that why you are
so quick to decline.
1252
01:12:05,304 --> 01:12:10,809
To hear this oral
fixation of mine?
1253
01:12:10,842 --> 01:12:14,513
My head spins like a wheel
As I make this appeal.
1254
01:12:14,546 --> 01:12:18,350
If I'm lost then I'll squeal
It's a pretty raw deal.
1255
01:12:18,384 --> 01:12:21,687
When they force you to kneel
Holy fuck, it's so real.
1256
01:12:21,720 --> 01:12:23,589
When you're being.
1257
01:12:23,622 --> 01:12:24,790
Raped in the face.
1258
01:12:54,386 --> 01:12:57,189
He's totally the man
The man with the plan.
1259
01:12:57,223 --> 01:13:00,326
He traveled through time
in an awesome custom van.
1260
01:13:01,393 --> 01:13:04,363
Moralistically,
he taught us to be good.
1261
01:13:04,396 --> 01:13:08,667
How to set our souls free
And do all the shit we should.
1262
01:13:08,700 --> 01:13:11,603
Now we do the right deeds
We go to church and such.
1263
01:13:11,637 --> 01:13:16,108
And we stopped smoking weed
Well, at least not as much.
1264
01:13:16,142 --> 01:13:19,445
And we can't forget to
mention The golden rule.
1265
01:13:19,478 --> 01:13:22,181
Do unto others as
you would have them.
1266
01:13:22,214 --> 01:13:23,615
Slam, bam, spank you, ma'am.
1267
01:13:23,649 --> 01:13:25,751
Do unto you!
1268
01:13:28,887 --> 01:13:31,257
GIRLS: Oh, my God, it's Jesus!
1269
01:13:31,290 --> 01:13:33,392
Oh, my God, it's Jesus!
1270
01:13:36,562 --> 01:13:39,431
You're so hot!
My God, I love you!
1271
01:13:39,465 --> 01:13:40,732
I wanna party with you, Jesus.
1272
01:13:40,766 --> 01:13:42,901
Jesus.
1273
01:13:42,934 --> 01:13:45,737
Rock me,
rock me, rock me, sexy Jesus.
1274
01:13:45,771 --> 01:13:48,840
You died for our sins
You got to believe us.
1275
01:13:48,874 --> 01:13:51,743
Rock me, rock me,
rock me, sexy Jesus.
1276
01:13:51,777 --> 01:13:54,413
All night long
1277
01:13:54,446 --> 01:13:58,217
I'm simultaneously
horrified and fascinated.
1278
01:13:58,250 --> 01:14:00,752
We're really amazed
You got to believe us.
1279
01:14:00,786 --> 01:14:01,896
Rock me, rock me,
rock me, sexy Jesus.
1280
01:14:01,920 --> 01:14:03,689
WOMAN: Blasphemy! Blasphemy!
1281
01:14:03,722 --> 01:14:06,525
All night long.
1282
01:14:06,558 --> 01:14:09,261
He lays down science,
really blows my mind.
1283
01:14:09,295 --> 01:14:12,498
But he's also got abs
that transcend space and time.
1284
01:14:12,531 --> 01:14:15,201
He's the son of God,
and I think that's cool.
1285
01:14:15,234 --> 01:14:17,903
But he's got a swimmer's bod
like nobody do.
1286
01:14:17,936 --> 01:14:20,172
Blasphemy! Go back to your seat.
1287
01:14:20,206 --> 01:14:21,383
Rock me, rock me,
rock me, sexy Jesus.
1288
01:14:21,407 --> 01:14:24,343
He died for our sins
You've got to believe us.
1289
01:14:24,376 --> 01:14:27,346
Rock me, rock me,
rock me, sexy Jesus.
1290
01:14:27,379 --> 01:14:29,915
All night long.
1291
01:14:29,948 --> 01:14:32,784
Immaculate conception
really makes my day.
1292
01:14:32,818 --> 01:14:35,954
But the dude's got lats
that make me feel gay.
1293
01:14:35,987 --> 01:14:38,724
"Turn the other cheek"
is really showing class.
1294
01:14:38,757 --> 01:14:41,893
But I really think it's sexy
when he kicks Satan's ass.
1295
01:14:41,927 --> 01:14:43,629
Kicks Satan's ass!
1296
01:14:43,662 --> 01:14:45,697
Kicks Satan's ass!
1297
01:14:45,731 --> 01:14:46,974
Rock me, rock me,
rock me, sexy Jesus.
1298
01:14:46,998 --> 01:14:48,133
That's the crane.
1299
01:14:48,166 --> 01:14:50,769
He died for our sins
You got to believe us.
1300
01:14:50,802 --> 01:14:53,539
Rock me, rock me,
rock me, sexy Jesus.
1301
01:14:53,572 --> 01:14:55,907
Wait, I totally get it.
1302
01:14:55,941 --> 01:14:58,444
Jesus kicks the devil's ass.
1303
01:14:59,711 --> 01:15:01,480
But it's still disrespectful.
1304
01:15:01,513 --> 01:15:02,581
You got to believe us.
1305
01:15:02,614 --> 01:15:05,617
Rock me, rock me,
rock me, sexy Jesus.
1306
01:15:05,651 --> 01:15:08,554
All night long.
1307
01:15:18,430 --> 01:15:19,898
Surf's up, dudes.
1308
01:15:19,931 --> 01:15:21,533
Hey, mister.
1309
01:15:24,370 --> 01:15:26,338
Oh, my God, it's Jesus!
1310
01:15:27,406 --> 01:15:29,275
Oh, my God! Jesus!
1311
01:15:29,941 --> 01:15:31,743
He's walking on water!
1312
01:15:49,761 --> 01:15:54,933
Jesus H. Christ!
1313
01:15:58,537 --> 01:16:01,473
Rock me, rock me,
rock me, sexy Jesus.
1314
01:16:01,507 --> 01:16:04,576
We're really amazed
You got to believe us.
1315
01:16:04,610 --> 01:16:07,045
His moralistic ways
Totally ease us.
1316
01:16:07,078 --> 01:16:10,516
His zen zing zang
is gonna appease us.
1317
01:16:10,549 --> 01:16:13,352
Rock me, rock me,
rock me, sexy Jesus.
1318
01:16:13,385 --> 01:16:16,422
His holiest of ways
Ain't never gonna leave us.
1319
01:16:16,455 --> 01:16:19,391
Rock me, rock me,
rock me, sexy Jesus.
1320
01:16:19,425 --> 01:16:22,294
All night long.
1321
01:16:22,328 --> 01:16:24,730
Rock me, rock me,
rock me, sexy Jesus.
1322
01:16:24,763 --> 01:16:26,498
All night long.
1323
01:16:26,532 --> 01:16:27,999
Rock me, sexy.
1324
01:16:28,033 --> 01:16:29,535
All night long.
1325
01:16:29,568 --> 01:16:30,802
Rock me, sexy.
1326
01:16:30,836 --> 01:16:33,905
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
1327
01:16:33,939 --> 01:16:36,942
All night long.
1328
01:16:43,515 --> 01:16:44,692
But it's supposed to
be intermission now.
1329
01:16:44,716 --> 01:16:45,817
We can't have intermission.
1330
01:16:45,851 --> 01:16:48,320
The fire department is trying
to evacuate the building.
1331
01:16:48,354 --> 01:16:50,489
Everyone, keep going!
1332
01:16:54,926 --> 01:16:58,096
When I think
of those East End lights.
1333
01:16:58,129 --> 01:16:59,431
Muggy nights.
1334
01:16:59,465 --> 01:17:05,404
The curtains drawn in the
little room downstairs
1335
01:17:05,437 --> 01:17:06,505
Jesus, come on.
1336
01:17:06,538 --> 01:17:07,939
Coming.
1337
01:17:07,973 --> 01:17:10,676
Prima Donna lord you really
should have been there.
1338
01:17:10,709 --> 01:17:11,843
You ready? Yeah.
1339
01:17:11,877 --> 01:17:12,978
Where are we going?
1340
01:17:13,011 --> 01:17:14,079
33 AD.
1341
01:17:14,112 --> 01:17:15,847
Got it!
1342
01:17:15,881 --> 01:17:18,450
Hold on! Okay.
1343
01:17:18,484 --> 01:17:25,457
And it's one more beer
and I don't hear you anymore.
1344
01:17:25,491 --> 01:17:29,060
We've all gone crazy lately.
1345
01:17:29,094 --> 01:17:35,701
My friends out there rolling
round the basement floor.
1346
01:17:37,436 --> 01:17:40,539
You know, Hamlet, you
must forgive your father
1347
01:17:40,572 --> 01:17:43,008
the abuse you suffered.
1348
01:17:43,041 --> 01:17:47,145
You know, sometimes even I feel
like my father's forsaken me.
1349
01:17:47,178 --> 01:17:48,647
Really?
1350
01:17:48,680 --> 01:17:49,715
Good luck.
1351
01:17:49,748 --> 01:17:51,417
Thanks, Jesus.
1352
01:17:51,450 --> 01:17:52,984
You got my cell number? Yeah.
1353
01:17:53,018 --> 01:17:54,953
Okay.
1354
01:17:54,986 --> 01:17:59,124
My dad finds out what I've been
up to, he's gonna crucify me.
1355
01:17:59,157 --> 01:18:02,528
Altar-bound, hypnotized.
1356
01:18:02,561 --> 01:18:06,064
Sweet freedom
whispered in my ear.
1357
01:18:06,097 --> 01:18:08,700
You're a butterfly.
1358
01:18:09,835 --> 01:18:13,805
And butterflies are free to fly.
1359
01:18:13,839 --> 01:18:16,107
Oh, Laertes,
therein lies the rub.
1360
01:18:16,141 --> 01:18:18,944
If we use my time machine, then we
could save thy sister, thy father,
1361
01:18:18,977 --> 01:18:20,679
my dear mother, Queen Gertrude.
1362
01:18:20,712 --> 01:18:22,113
Not to mention the King.
1363
01:18:22,147 --> 01:18:25,484
Your madness must
not unwatched go.
1364
01:18:30,622 --> 01:18:32,458
That is excellent wire-work!
1365
01:18:40,231 --> 01:18:45,170
I never realized the passing
hours of evening showers.
1366
01:18:45,203 --> 01:18:49,975
A slip noose hanging
in my darkest dreams
1367
01:18:52,678 --> 01:18:56,414
I'm strangled by your
haunted social scene.
1368
01:18:57,082 --> 01:18:58,249
It was poison!
1369
01:18:58,283 --> 01:19:01,820
Just a pawn out-played
by a dominating queen.
1370
01:19:03,789 --> 01:19:06,658
It's 4:00 in the morning.
1371
01:19:06,692 --> 01:19:10,161
Damn it, listen to me good.
1372
01:19:14,666 --> 01:19:15,701
Watch it.
1373
01:19:15,734 --> 01:19:17,235
You watch it, Nacho Bell Grande!
1374
01:19:17,268 --> 01:19:20,672
Why are you trying to fuck
with me all the time, bitch?
1375
01:19:20,706 --> 01:19:22,508
I'll show you why, vato.
1376
01:19:26,578 --> 01:19:29,715
Someone saved my life tonight.
1377
01:19:29,748 --> 01:19:31,082
Sugar bear.
1378
01:19:31,116 --> 01:19:32,551
Sugar bear.
1379
01:19:33,752 --> 01:19:36,221
You almost had your hooks in me.
1380
01:19:36,254 --> 01:19:37,556
That's my cue!
1381
01:19:37,589 --> 01:19:39,591
Didn't you, dear?
1382
01:19:39,625 --> 01:19:43,495
You nearly had me roped and tied.
1383
01:19:44,630 --> 01:19:47,833
Altar-bound, hypnotized.
1384
01:19:47,866 --> 01:19:51,637
Sweet freedom
whispered in my ear.
1385
01:19:51,670 --> 01:19:54,105
You're a butterfly.
1386
01:19:55,173 --> 01:19:59,244
And butterflies are free to fly.
1387
01:19:59,277 --> 01:20:01,479
Fly away.
1388
01:20:03,014 --> 01:20:07,753
Fly away, bye-bye.
1389
01:20:11,623 --> 01:20:15,694
You have no documentation, no
ID, your badge isn't visible,
1390
01:20:15,727 --> 01:20:17,696
and you accidentally
grazed my boob
1391
01:20:17,729 --> 01:20:19,598
when you tried to walk past me.
1392
01:20:19,631 --> 01:20:23,168
I could put you away for
a year, you fire-fucker.
1393
01:20:25,103 --> 01:20:27,038
You wanna hit me? Hit me!
1394
01:20:27,072 --> 01:20:28,974
I would love it if you hit me.
1395
01:20:29,007 --> 01:20:32,844
'Cause I'm married to a Jew,
I got nothing to lose.
1396
01:20:32,878 --> 01:20:36,715
Someone saved, someone saved
Someone saved my life tonight.
1397
01:20:36,748 --> 01:20:40,218
Someone saved my life tonight.
1398
01:20:40,251 --> 01:20:44,022
Someone saved, someone saved
Someone saved my life tonight.
1399
01:20:44,055 --> 01:20:47,693
Someone saved my life tonight.
1400
01:20:47,726 --> 01:20:51,229
Someone saved, someone saved
Someone saved my life tonight.
1401
01:20:51,262 --> 01:20:55,033
Someone saved my life tonight
1402
01:20:55,066 --> 01:20:58,637
Ophelia, will you marry me?
1403
01:21:01,940 --> 01:21:03,341
Yes!
1404
01:21:03,374 --> 01:21:06,111
Someone saved, someone saved
Someone saved my life tonight.
1405
01:21:06,144 --> 01:21:09,881
Someone saved my life tonight.
1406
01:21:09,915 --> 01:21:13,619
Someone saved, someone saved
Someone saved my life tonight.
1407
01:21:13,652 --> 01:21:17,155
Someone saved my life tonight.
1408
01:21:17,188 --> 01:21:21,292
Someone saved, someone saved
Someone saved my life tonight
1409
01:21:23,194 --> 01:21:24,930
I'm sorry, son.
1410
01:21:27,065 --> 01:21:29,000
I forgive you, Father!
1411
01:21:35,140 --> 01:21:37,308
I was molested as a child.
1412
01:21:37,342 --> 01:21:39,678
Maybe that's why I'm so angry.
1413
01:21:44,249 --> 01:21:49,187
I forgive you.
Father, I forgive you.
1414
01:21:49,220 --> 01:21:52,891
I forgive you. I forgive you.
1415
01:22:06,738 --> 01:22:07,939
I forgive you.
1416
01:22:09,941 --> 01:22:10,942
Wow.
1417
01:22:32,898 --> 01:22:34,165
What's going on?
1418
01:22:35,100 --> 01:22:38,436
Wow, there's
a great energy in here.
1419
01:22:41,372 --> 01:22:43,274
I'm suing everybody!
1420
01:22:49,014 --> 01:22:50,148
This isn't over.
1421
01:22:50,181 --> 01:22:51,325
I want you out
of this community.
1422
01:22:51,349 --> 01:22:53,018
This play's offensive!
1423
01:22:53,051 --> 01:22:54,686
Well, I'm sorry!
1424
01:22:56,888 --> 01:22:58,023
No, no, no, don't do that!
1425
01:22:58,056 --> 01:22:59,224
That's offensive, too!
1426
01:23:04,830 --> 01:23:06,197
Jack Wiggum, please.
1427
01:23:07,432 --> 01:23:11,202
Jack, it's Elisabeth.
I'm ready to act again.
1428
01:23:12,403 --> 01:23:15,473
Shue. It's Elisabeth Shue.
1429
01:23:15,506 --> 01:23:17,442
Mr. Marschza? It's Marschz.
1430
01:23:17,475 --> 01:23:18,910
My name is Ron Kantor.
1431
01:23:18,944 --> 01:23:20,145
I'm with the New York Times.
1432
01:23:20,178 --> 01:23:22,848
I was quite taken
with your play.
1433
01:23:22,881 --> 01:23:24,149
Oh, thank you.
1434
01:23:24,182 --> 01:23:28,186
I was very moved when
Hamlet forgave his father.
1435
01:23:29,187 --> 01:23:30,255
Great!
1436
01:23:32,758 --> 01:23:34,860
What about when
I forgave my father?
1437
01:23:45,036 --> 01:23:47,172
A penny for your thoughts.
1438
01:23:47,205 --> 01:23:50,742
I was just thinking about all those
voices saying, "You can't do it,"
1439
01:23:50,776 --> 01:23:52,878
and, "You're a loser."
1440
01:23:52,911 --> 01:23:54,112
Well, that's psychosis.
1441
01:23:54,145 --> 01:23:55,256
You know, I had a feeling...
1442
01:23:55,280 --> 01:23:58,750
No, I mean actual voices,
like my ex-wife, the school,
1443
01:23:58,784 --> 01:24:00,418
pretty much everyone.
1444
01:24:00,451 --> 01:24:01,853
Well, everyone and their brother
1445
01:24:01,887 --> 01:24:03,789
wants a piece of
your genius ass now.
1446
01:24:03,822 --> 01:24:06,825
Is it true that Jeremy effing
Irons wanted to do your play
1447
01:24:06,858 --> 01:24:09,360
and you turned him down?
1448
01:24:09,394 --> 01:24:13,999
"Oh, Dana, for fuck's sake,
please let me do your play."
1449
01:24:14,032 --> 01:24:16,802
It takes a real set
of low-hangers, mister.
1450
01:24:16,835 --> 01:24:19,504
He won't even let me be in it,
and I'm his girlfriend.
1451
01:24:19,537 --> 01:24:22,240
I wanna preserve
the original cast.
1452
01:24:22,273 --> 01:24:24,542
Artistic integrity!
1453
01:24:24,575 --> 01:24:26,544
And, yes, he does have
a real set of low-hangers.
1454
01:24:26,577 --> 01:24:28,513
Oh, how romantic.
1455
01:24:32,117 --> 01:24:34,195
CRICKET: Well, this play
is gonna bitch-slap Broadway
1456
01:24:34,219 --> 01:24:37,022
like a cheap hooker
at a gang-bang.
1457
01:24:37,055 --> 01:24:38,456
DANA: Yeah.
1458
01:24:38,489 --> 01:24:40,167
You know, and those
Bible-humping protesters
1459
01:24:40,191 --> 01:24:41,459
can suck a bag of dicks,
1460
01:24:41,492 --> 01:24:42,894
'cause all they ended up doing
1461
01:24:42,928 --> 01:24:44,429
was giving you free publicity.
1462
01:24:44,462 --> 01:24:46,331
Yeah, and did you see
my dressing room?
1463
01:24:47,198 --> 01:24:49,067
It has a bidet.
1464
01:24:49,100 --> 01:24:50,301
That was a sink.
1465
01:24:50,335 --> 01:24:51,469
It was?
1466
01:24:52,437 --> 01:24:54,005
Hey, it's Mr. M. Hi!
1467
01:24:54,039 --> 01:24:54,806
Hey. Hi.
1468
01:24:54,840 --> 01:24:57,442
Hey, Mr. M.
New York's pretty cool.
1469
01:24:58,443 --> 01:24:59,945
Compared to Tucson.
1470
01:25:01,279 --> 01:25:05,116
You know, Chuy, you're
gonna have a magical life.
1471
01:25:05,150 --> 01:25:07,552
Because no matter where you go,
1472
01:25:07,585 --> 01:25:10,155
it will always be
better than Tucson.
1473
01:25:15,493 --> 01:25:16,493
Come on.
100085
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