Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:08,905 --> 00:00:10,532
Hey, Roman, are you sleeping?
2
00:00:11,700 --> 00:00:12,784
Yes.
3
00:00:13,535 --> 00:00:15,078
Okay, cool.
4
00:00:15,787 --> 00:00:16,872
Hey, Roman?
5
00:00:17,789 --> 00:00:20,250
- What?
- Is the monster gone?
6
00:00:20,876 --> 00:00:23,712
We've talked
about this, okay?
7
00:00:23,712 --> 00:00:26,590
There is no monster!
8
00:00:28,675 --> 00:00:30,761
Why'd you scream? You scared me.
9
00:00:31,344 --> 00:00:35,098
I scared you?
Look, tha-- that's it, okay?
10
00:00:35,098 --> 00:00:37,809
I'm too old to be living with
a kid who believes in monsters.
11
00:00:38,310 --> 00:00:40,312
Remember what Gladys
at the dry cleaners said?
12
00:00:40,771 --> 00:00:42,230
That's the most ketchup
she's ever cleaned out
13
00:00:42,230 --> 00:00:43,356
of a young man's pants?
14
00:00:44,357 --> 00:00:46,443
Exactly. "A young man."
15
00:00:46,902 --> 00:00:48,528
And a young man,
needs his own room.
16
00:00:48,862 --> 00:00:50,572
N-- I'm talking to Mom and Dad.
17
00:00:56,286 --> 00:00:57,454
Well, that's new.
18
00:01:01,458 --> 00:01:03,418
Oh, hey, kid.
Is this the Russo house?
19
00:01:03,835 --> 00:01:05,337
What are you doing in my mirror?
20
00:01:05,337 --> 00:01:07,506
That's how we get places.
I'm a wizard.
21
00:01:07,798 --> 00:01:09,216
Where's your robe
and pointy hat?
22
00:01:09,674 --> 00:01:12,344
Let me clarify.
I'm a wizard with style.
23
00:01:18,350 --> 00:01:20,060
Billie, we can't go in that way.
24
00:01:21,353 --> 00:01:23,063
Wait! Who else is in there?
25
00:01:23,980 --> 00:01:25,398
Should I be changing
in the bathroom?
26
00:01:26,942 --> 00:01:28,735
- Okay, Milo.
- Roman.
27
00:01:28,735 --> 00:01:30,195
There's something
I gotta tell you.
28
00:01:30,195 --> 00:01:33,740
Me first, okay?
Maybe I flew off the handle.
29
00:01:34,115 --> 00:01:35,534
Not gonna move out.
30
00:01:35,534 --> 00:01:38,912
But promise me,
no more crazy made-up stories.
31
00:01:38,912 --> 00:01:43,250
- There's a wizard in our mirror!
- Dad, I need my own room!
32
00:01:46,962 --> 00:01:49,881
{\an8}♪ Everything is not
what it seems ♪
33
00:01:49,881 --> 00:01:51,758
{\an8}♪ When you can
have what you want ♪
34
00:01:51,758 --> 00:01:53,510
{\an8}♪ By the simplest of means ♪
35
00:01:53,718 --> 00:01:56,680
{\an8}♪ Be careful not to mess
with the balance of things ♪
36
00:01:56,680 --> 00:02:01,309
{\an8}♪ Because everything
is not what it seems ♪
37
00:02:01,309 --> 00:02:03,436
♪ You might run into trouble
if you go to extremes ♪
38
00:02:03,436 --> 00:02:06,314
♪ Because everything
is not what it seems ♪
39
00:02:06,648 --> 00:02:08,108
♪ Yes, please ♪
40
00:02:10,110 --> 00:02:11,820
♪ What it seems ♪
41
00:02:18,243 --> 00:02:20,120
{\an8}Oh! Hey there, good looking.
42
00:02:21,454 --> 00:02:22,581
Why, yes.
43
00:02:22,581 --> 00:02:26,376
{\an8}It is my birthday today.
Yeah, 34.
44
00:02:29,629 --> 00:02:31,798
Oh, you think the J-Man's
still got it?
45
00:02:32,549 --> 00:02:35,927
{\an8}I think you still got it.
Giada.
46
00:02:35,927 --> 00:02:38,263
You're awake. That's fun.
47
00:02:39,806 --> 00:02:41,349
Happy birthday, J-Man.
48
00:02:42,100 --> 00:02:43,935
You remembered my birthday.
49
00:02:43,935 --> 00:02:45,061
{\an8}How could I forget?
50
00:02:45,061 --> 00:02:47,147
{\an8}You sent me
four calendar invites.
51
00:02:48,064 --> 00:02:50,108
{\an8}Well, you do know that
coordinating family logistics
52
00:02:50,108 --> 00:02:51,943
{\an8}is my love language.
53
00:02:52,485 --> 00:02:54,988
Gross! Get a room!
54
00:02:55,572 --> 00:02:56,740
This is our room.
55
00:02:58,033 --> 00:03:00,285
Hey, guys! Anything
you wanna say to me today?
56
00:03:00,285 --> 00:03:03,330
Oh, thank you for asking.
I need my own room.
57
00:03:03,830 --> 00:03:06,416
No, like anything
you want to, uh, wish me?
58
00:03:06,791 --> 00:03:09,336
I wish you would give me
my own room.
59
00:03:11,296 --> 00:03:13,256
{\an8}Look what I woke up
to this morning.
60
00:03:13,548 --> 00:03:15,258
{\an8}It's so the monster
in the closet will think
61
00:03:15,258 --> 00:03:17,218
{\an8}I'm a monster
and go after Roman.
62
00:03:17,969 --> 00:03:19,804
Savage. Gets that from my side.
63
00:03:21,431 --> 00:03:24,100
{\an8}Mom, don't encourage him.
You should be telling him
64
00:03:24,100 --> 00:03:25,769
{\an8}there's no such thing
as monsters.
65
00:03:26,019 --> 00:03:27,312
{\an8}Back me up on this, Dad.
66
00:03:27,312 --> 00:03:28,647
{\an8}Absolutely, buddy.
67
00:03:28,647 --> 00:03:30,690
{\an8}There is no such thing
as monsters.
68
00:03:30,690 --> 00:03:32,192
{\an8}And I should know,
'cause I was not
69
00:03:32,192 --> 00:03:33,568
{\an8}a monster hunter
when I was your age.
70
00:03:34,027 --> 00:03:35,278
{\an8}You were a monster hunter?
71
00:03:35,278 --> 00:03:38,323
{\an8}No! No, I was very clear
when I said I was not
72
00:03:38,323 --> 00:03:40,283
{\an8}a monster hunter, okay?
I couldn't have been,
73
00:03:40,283 --> 00:03:41,368
because I'm not a wizard.
74
00:03:42,827 --> 00:03:44,037
What are we even talking about?
75
00:03:45,664 --> 00:03:49,334
Is Dad having a midlife crisis?
Are you getting a tattoo?
76
00:03:49,626 --> 00:03:50,669
Ooh, are you?
77
00:03:51,586 --> 00:03:53,254
- No, and I am not midlife--
- M'kay.
78
00:03:53,254 --> 00:03:54,881
Guys, I turned 34 today.
79
00:03:55,131 --> 00:03:56,132
It's your birthday?
80
00:03:57,634 --> 00:03:58,468
Be honest with me, does no one
check the family calendar?
81
00:03:59,928 --> 00:04:02,180
We all love the calendar,
big fans of the calendar. Okay.
82
00:04:02,180 --> 00:04:05,141
Boys, go get dressed.
I think your dad needs a moment.
83
00:04:05,767 --> 00:04:08,645
Listen, don't freak out,
84
00:04:08,645 --> 00:04:09,813
but I got you a little surprise
for your birthday.
85
00:04:10,438 --> 00:04:11,773
But... I don't like surprises.
86
00:04:11,982 --> 00:04:13,149
Oh, you're gonna like this one.
87
00:04:14,693 --> 00:04:16,611
Okay, I can handle this.
Maybe liking surprises
88
00:04:16,611 --> 00:04:18,488
will be a new thing for me.
Yeah, yeah.
89
00:04:18,488 --> 00:04:20,490
Oh, who am I kidding? Giada!
90
00:04:25,328 --> 00:04:26,496
Let's just go in this way.
91
00:04:27,831 --> 00:04:28,748
No,
we have to use the front door.
92
00:04:30,208 --> 00:04:32,210
Like a mortal?
Aw, man, nobody better see me.
93
00:04:35,964 --> 00:04:39,009
Giada! Hey, um, uh, yeah...
94
00:04:39,551 --> 00:04:42,095
Giada, why-- why don't
you tell me what it is, okay?
95
00:04:42,095 --> 00:04:43,513
And you'll be like, "Surprise!"
96
00:04:43,513 --> 00:04:46,099
And then I'll be like,
"No freaking way!"
97
00:04:46,099 --> 00:04:48,101
Gia-- Huh?
98
00:04:51,229 --> 00:04:53,440
Look who's using the front door
just like one of you people.
99
00:04:55,567 --> 00:04:56,568
Surprise!
100
00:05:02,198 --> 00:05:03,616
No freaking way.
101
00:05:04,159 --> 00:05:06,619
I know,
I look fantastic, don't I?
102
00:05:07,871 --> 00:05:09,956
Alex, are you
here for my birthday?
103
00:05:10,457 --> 00:05:13,877
It's your... It-- uh... It's
your birthday! That's why...
104
00:05:13,877 --> 00:05:15,378
That's why I came, you know?
Aw.
105
00:05:15,378 --> 00:05:17,088
That's why we're here.
We came for your birthday.
106
00:05:19,382 --> 00:05:21,509
You dragged me here
for your brother's birthday?
107
00:05:21,509 --> 00:05:22,886
No, I brought you here,
108
00:05:22,886 --> 00:05:24,554
so you can meet your
new wizard teacher.
109
00:05:24,763 --> 00:05:27,265
I don't need a new teacher.
They never believe in me anyway.
110
00:05:27,515 --> 00:05:30,477
Well, this one will.
He's the best I've ever known.
111
00:05:30,477 --> 00:05:32,187
Annoyingly. But...
112
00:05:32,520 --> 00:05:33,938
I just have
to find a way to ask him.
113
00:05:33,938 --> 00:05:35,440
He can be a little high-strung.
114
00:05:35,648 --> 00:05:37,025
Did you guys track this dirt in?
115
00:05:40,153 --> 00:05:41,654
Okay, a lot high-strung.
116
00:05:43,865 --> 00:05:46,326
So, you're the guy who owns
all the sandwich shops?
117
00:05:46,326 --> 00:05:47,410
Like, the billionaire?
118
00:05:47,660 --> 00:05:49,496
Uh, no. That would be Max.
119
00:05:49,496 --> 00:05:51,206
I'm a middle school
vice principal, which some
120
00:05:51,206 --> 00:05:53,416
would say is much cooler
than being a billionaire.
121
00:05:53,416 --> 00:05:54,834
- Nobody says that.
- I would never say that.
122
00:05:56,836 --> 00:05:59,005
Uh, and Alex, who is this?
123
00:05:59,297 --> 00:06:03,009
Oh, um, this is Billie.
She's... with me.
124
00:06:03,760 --> 00:06:05,595
Well, that clears everything up.
125
00:06:07,222 --> 00:06:09,599
- Aunt Alex!
- Oh, my gosh! Hi, guys!
126
00:06:09,599 --> 00:06:12,644
How are you?
I bought you presents.
127
00:06:12,644 --> 00:06:14,187
Because I'm the coolest aunt,
like ever.
128
00:06:14,187 --> 00:06:15,688
Oh! Shirts.
- So...
129
00:06:16,856 --> 00:06:18,566
Straight outta WizTech.
- Alex.
130
00:06:19,150 --> 00:06:20,568
Can I speak with you in private?
131
00:06:24,280 --> 00:06:26,241
That's the wizard girl
from our mirror.
132
00:06:26,616 --> 00:06:27,742
Dude, you're gonna
weird her out.
133
00:06:29,035 --> 00:06:29,619
Hey, what kind of mileage
does this thing get?
134
00:06:32,372 --> 00:06:34,082
Okay, maybe
she's gonna weird us out.
135
00:06:36,459 --> 00:06:37,669
Uh, what are these?
136
00:06:38,002 --> 00:06:39,879
Uh, hilarious novelty tees.
137
00:06:41,214 --> 00:06:42,340
About wizards.
138
00:06:42,340 --> 00:06:45,885
Well, we are wizards.
139
00:06:45,885 --> 00:06:47,929
Okay, we're talking
over here now.
140
00:06:49,514 --> 00:06:51,349
Remember how
the last time we talked,
141
00:06:51,641 --> 00:06:53,560
you asked me when I was going
to tell Giada and the kids
142
00:06:53,560 --> 00:06:55,103
that I was from
a family of wizards?
143
00:06:55,478 --> 00:06:58,398
- Yeah.
- Well, I kinda sort of haven't.
144
00:06:58,940 --> 00:07:01,401
You're still lying
to your family, Justin? I'm...
145
00:07:02,277 --> 00:07:03,403
I'm so proud of you.
146
00:07:05,155 --> 00:07:07,532
I'm not lying, Alex.
Technically, I'm not a wizard.
147
00:07:07,532 --> 00:07:09,742
Okay? Anymore.
I haven't picked up a wand
148
00:07:09,742 --> 00:07:10,994
since I got fired from WizTech.
149
00:07:11,411 --> 00:07:13,329
Oh... Yeah.
The unicorn incident.
150
00:07:13,329 --> 00:07:15,165
- That was hilarious-- Awful.
- Awful!
151
00:07:15,165 --> 00:07:17,709
It was so awful.
That's what I was trying to say.
152
00:07:18,042 --> 00:07:22,172
Uh, but don't you miss it?
You know, teaching wizards?
153
00:07:22,922 --> 00:07:25,884
No. I don't even
think about it every day.
154
00:07:28,011 --> 00:07:29,804
- You just said every day.
- Yes, I didn't.
155
00:07:32,515 --> 00:07:34,475
Look, okay?
Just while you're here,
156
00:07:34,893 --> 00:07:37,645
no talk about magic
and no wizard talk, okay?
157
00:07:37,645 --> 00:07:41,482
Fine. What exactly does your
family think I do for a living?
158
00:07:41,816 --> 00:07:42,859
Professional dog walker.
159
00:07:45,612 --> 00:07:48,239
I want to be offended, but I do
love dogs, so...
160
00:07:49,073 --> 00:07:50,658
All right, fine.
I won't blow your cover.
161
00:07:50,992 --> 00:07:53,411
Thank you. And what
about Billie? Is she cool?
162
00:07:53,411 --> 00:07:54,537
I promise.
163
00:07:56,080 --> 00:07:57,498
Billie definitely won't say
anything about being a wizard.
164
00:07:57,790 --> 00:07:58,833
I'm a wizard!
165
00:08:01,252 --> 00:08:03,963
- I told you.
- Milo, she's not a wizard.
166
00:08:04,255 --> 00:08:05,506
I know you didn't just say that.
167
00:08:06,549 --> 00:08:07,592
There's no
such thing as wizards.
168
00:08:08,801 --> 00:08:09,177
And I know
you did not just say that.
169
00:08:10,345 --> 00:08:12,096
It's not personal.
He doesn't believe me
170
00:08:12,096 --> 00:08:13,848
about the monster
in our closet either.
171
00:08:13,848 --> 00:08:15,516
Uh--
Because monsters aren't real,
172
00:08:15,892 --> 00:08:17,268
just like wizards aren't real.
173
00:08:17,518 --> 00:08:19,520
Okay, smart guy,
show me your closet then.
174
00:08:19,854 --> 00:08:22,440
Fine, but all that's
gonna prove is that I have
175
00:08:22,440 --> 00:08:23,733
great taste in cardigans.
176
00:08:27,320 --> 00:08:29,697
There it is. There's the closet.
177
00:08:29,697 --> 00:08:30,907
Open it up.
178
00:08:30,907 --> 00:08:33,368
This is your dumb thing.
You open it.
179
00:08:33,368 --> 00:08:36,246
I'm not opening it.
I like being alive.
180
00:08:37,038 --> 00:08:39,207
Well, guess you're both
too scared to open it.
181
00:08:39,457 --> 00:08:41,459
I am.
Thought I was clear about that.
182
00:08:42,627 --> 00:08:43,962
Hey, fine, I'll open it.
183
00:08:45,964 --> 00:08:47,340
From the place
where dark beasts dwell,
184
00:08:47,799 --> 00:08:49,550
I summon a floogie
with this spell.
185
00:08:50,718 --> 00:08:53,179
Get ready to not see...
186
00:08:57,809 --> 00:08:59,310
Why are you laughing?!
187
00:08:59,644 --> 00:09:02,563
Because,
you said monsters aren't real,
188
00:09:02,814 --> 00:09:05,817
so I conjured one,
'cause I'm a wizard, ahwandra.
189
00:09:09,904 --> 00:09:12,407
Please tell me there's a spell
to make it go away.
190
00:09:13,074 --> 00:09:14,951
There is, I just don't know it.
191
00:09:17,036 --> 00:09:18,913
You don't know
how to send it back?
192
00:09:19,163 --> 00:09:20,623
Then why did you conjure it?
193
00:09:20,623 --> 00:09:22,875
- 'Cause you said I couldn't.
- You can't argue with the logic.
194
00:09:27,964 --> 00:09:29,048
I don't hear anything.
195
00:09:31,676 --> 00:09:34,429
See? Uh, maybe the monster
went away on its own?
196
00:09:34,804 --> 00:09:37,056
Yeah, that definitely happens.
Go check it out.
197
00:09:43,271 --> 00:09:46,024
You checked it out?
What is wrong with you?
198
00:09:46,024 --> 00:09:48,151
Me?
We didn't have a monster
199
00:09:48,151 --> 00:09:50,069
in the closet
until you came along!
200
00:09:50,069 --> 00:09:52,196
- Actually--
- Not now, Milo!
201
00:09:56,242 --> 00:09:57,410
My dad cannot find out
202
00:09:57,410 --> 00:09:58,703
there's a monster
running around the house.
203
00:09:58,911 --> 00:10:00,121
- It'll--
- Ruin his birthday.
204
00:10:01,664 --> 00:10:04,250
His birthday? If Justin Russo
finds out wizards are real,
205
00:10:04,542 --> 00:10:06,586
- his head's gonna explode!
- Cool.
206
00:10:07,587 --> 00:10:09,297
Why did you bring
that... that...
207
00:10:09,547 --> 00:10:11,007
- Floogie.
- ...that floogie here,
208
00:10:11,007 --> 00:10:12,258
if you couldn't get rid of it?
209
00:10:12,258 --> 00:10:13,634
'Cause I didn't know
I couldn't get rid of it
210
00:10:13,634 --> 00:10:14,802
until I brought it here.
211
00:10:16,179 --> 00:10:18,473
You need to go back to...
wizard school.
212
00:10:18,890 --> 00:10:20,308
Well, I can't,
'cause I got kicked out.
213
00:10:21,893 --> 00:10:24,103
It's not my fault
my teachers don't believe in me.
214
00:10:24,354 --> 00:10:26,356
But I don't need them.
I don't need anyone.
215
00:10:26,564 --> 00:10:28,024
We definitely need someone.
216
00:10:30,860 --> 00:10:33,154
No, we don't. I can fix this.
217
00:10:33,154 --> 00:10:34,781
I'll get rid
of the floogie myself.
218
00:10:35,782 --> 00:10:36,783
Please.
219
00:10:37,241 --> 00:10:39,118
All right, fine.
But if that thing
220
00:10:39,118 --> 00:10:40,370
poops in the house,
you're cleaning it up.
221
00:10:41,704 --> 00:10:43,122
Oh, they don't poop.
They flarf. It's way worse.
222
00:10:46,876 --> 00:10:49,754
So, hypothetically, yeah, I use
words like hypothetically now,
223
00:10:51,005 --> 00:10:52,924
what would you say
if someone were to ask you
224
00:10:52,924 --> 00:10:54,133
to go back to teaching magic?
225
00:10:54,467 --> 00:10:56,052
Alex, what is this all about?
226
00:10:56,594 --> 00:11:00,056
Oh! Sorry I took so long.
Mr. Kopecky from next door
227
00:11:00,056 --> 00:11:02,350
forced me to look at pictures
of his grandson.
228
00:11:02,558 --> 00:11:04,936
Now, I would never say
that a baby is ugly,
229
00:11:04,936 --> 00:11:06,854
but this baby,
it looks like a foot.
230
00:11:08,731 --> 00:11:10,483
- Alex!
- Hey, Giada.
231
00:11:10,483 --> 00:11:11,692
What are you doing here?
232
00:11:13,236 --> 00:11:15,029
Giada, come on. I know that
Alex is my birthday surprise.
233
00:11:15,029 --> 00:11:16,406
Whoa, babe,
I would never ambush you
234
00:11:16,406 --> 00:11:17,698
with family
and call it a present.
235
00:11:18,282 --> 00:11:19,909
So, Alex, how's work?
236
00:11:20,159 --> 00:11:22,328
Uh, work's great.
I'm on the Tribunal now.
237
00:11:22,745 --> 00:11:26,290
- You're on the Tribunal?
- There's a dog-walking tribunal?
238
00:11:27,458 --> 00:11:28,960
Yeah. Yeah, they were like,
239
00:11:29,460 --> 00:11:33,464
"Alex, there are some pretty bad
dogs out there, and...
240
00:11:33,464 --> 00:11:35,800
and you're the only one
that can help."
241
00:11:36,634 --> 00:11:38,886
Oh, you're
the only one, huh? You?
242
00:11:40,138 --> 00:11:41,931
Yeah.
Why is it so hard to believe?
243
00:11:41,931 --> 00:11:43,307
I mean, I am the family...
244
00:11:44,142 --> 00:11:45,226
dog walker.
245
00:11:46,644 --> 00:11:48,563
But I practically taught you
how to walk those dogs.
246
00:11:49,021 --> 00:11:51,190
If anyone should have been
on the Tribunal, we both know
247
00:11:51,190 --> 00:11:52,567
that it should have been moi.
248
00:11:54,068 --> 00:11:55,987
Okay. Well, if you wanted
to make the Tribunal so badly,
249
00:11:55,987 --> 00:11:57,488
maybe you shouldn't have
hung up your leash.
250
00:11:57,822 --> 00:11:59,449
Okay, you know, well,
this is getting awkward.
251
00:11:59,449 --> 00:12:01,742
Is anybody thirsty? I'm not,
but I'm gonna leave anyway.
252
00:12:03,661 --> 00:12:05,037
Dude, what's your problem?
253
00:12:05,037 --> 00:12:07,331
I thought you were happy
you left wizarding behind.
254
00:12:07,582 --> 00:12:11,377
I am, okay? I like my quiet,
predictable, no surprises life.
255
00:12:11,752 --> 00:12:14,422
Then why are you acting
like you have flarf for brains?
256
00:12:15,089 --> 00:12:17,550
First, we don't use that kind
of language in this house.
257
00:12:19,552 --> 00:12:22,054
And second, if you're not
my birthday surprise,
258
00:12:22,388 --> 00:12:23,598
what are you doing here, Alex?
259
00:12:25,141 --> 00:12:28,686
Okay fine. Um, Billie is one of
the most extraordinary wizards
260
00:12:28,686 --> 00:12:30,438
I've ever met. But she needs...
261
00:12:31,731 --> 00:12:32,732
What was that?
262
00:12:34,942 --> 00:12:36,527
Giada!
263
00:12:42,742 --> 00:12:44,035
This looks like
a floogie freeze.
264
00:12:45,495 --> 00:12:47,371
Oh, look at you remembering
your class-three monsters.
265
00:12:47,371 --> 00:12:49,207
- Just like old times.
When we were little, I used--
- Oh, no.
266
00:12:49,207 --> 00:12:52,293
No, no, no, no, no. No.
You said you wouldn't do magic.
267
00:12:52,543 --> 00:12:54,045
I didn't do this. It...
268
00:12:54,712 --> 00:12:56,672
- Billie...
- This is classic Alex.
269
00:12:57,089 --> 00:12:59,008
You're here for five minutes
and I got a floogie infestation,
270
00:12:59,008 --> 00:13:00,551
and just look
at my beautiful wife!
271
00:13:03,095 --> 00:13:06,641
I'll handle this. After all,
I am the family dog walker.
272
00:13:08,684 --> 00:13:11,604
The only way to unfreeze her
is to banish the floogie back
where it came from.
273
00:13:11,604 --> 00:13:15,650
I know, but thank you for the
refresher because... I forgot.
274
00:13:18,486 --> 00:13:20,947
Whatever you do,
do not look the floogie
275
00:13:20,947 --> 00:13:22,615
right in the eye,
or he'll freeze you.
276
00:13:22,865 --> 00:13:25,493
Which one?
The thing's 90 percent eyes!
277
00:13:25,743 --> 00:13:28,412
It's over there!
278
00:13:32,500 --> 00:13:33,751
He's eating the couch!
279
00:13:33,960 --> 00:13:35,586
Dad won't even let us
eat on the couch!
280
00:13:39,131 --> 00:13:42,093
Roman, look out!
281
00:13:43,844 --> 00:13:46,973
- Milo!
- He saved you.
282
00:13:47,598 --> 00:13:50,309
Well, we're Russos. Russos
always have each other's backs.
283
00:13:51,394 --> 00:13:53,187
So, you would have done
the same thing for him?
284
00:13:54,188 --> 00:13:56,816
I would have...
strongly considered it.
285
00:13:57,900 --> 00:14:00,444
We should hide him
until I can banish the floogie.
286
00:14:00,695 --> 00:14:02,572
I think if your parents
saw their son frozen solid,
287
00:14:02,572 --> 00:14:03,698
it'd be pretty upsetting.
288
00:14:03,990 --> 00:14:05,491
Do you? Do you think that?
289
00:14:06,826 --> 00:14:07,910
What are we gonna do
about the couch?
290
00:14:10,329 --> 00:14:11,872
- Oh, nice.
- Let's go.
291
00:14:17,128 --> 00:14:18,879
Where are we hiding the kid?
292
00:14:18,879 --> 00:14:20,923
An infinity pocket?
Bottomless bag?
293
00:14:20,923 --> 00:14:23,009
You know, I can open a portal
to the Nowhere Zone.
294
00:14:23,426 --> 00:14:24,719
I'm not sending
my little brother
295
00:14:24,719 --> 00:14:26,721
to the Nowhere Zone.
He's got a field trip tomorrow.
296
00:14:27,972 --> 00:14:29,223
Help me put him on the bike.
297
00:14:38,858 --> 00:14:41,277
- A helmet? Really?
- It's the law!
298
00:14:45,031 --> 00:14:47,825
All right, Giada,
we're almost there.
299
00:14:48,284 --> 00:14:51,621
There we go.
Okay. Sorry.
300
00:14:51,621 --> 00:14:56,083
that's...
Oh! Hey, g-- guys.
301
00:14:56,834 --> 00:14:58,919
I didn't know you were...
...out here.
302
00:14:59,128 --> 00:15:04,008
Oh, yeah, I was just showing
Billie the water heater.
303
00:15:04,008 --> 00:15:06,093
- Yeah.
- And I was just...
304
00:15:06,344 --> 00:15:09,138
I was just carrying
whatever's under this blanket.
305
00:15:09,388 --> 00:15:13,059
Well, that is some very
306
00:15:13,059 --> 00:15:16,187
normal behavior
from the both of us.
307
00:15:16,187 --> 00:15:18,230
Ta-ta.
308
00:15:19,982 --> 00:15:22,401
Uh, Roman, just real quick, bud.
309
00:15:22,943 --> 00:15:25,112
You haven't seen anything,
like, weird going on
310
00:15:25,112 --> 00:15:26,489
around here today, have you?
311
00:15:27,156 --> 00:15:31,869
Uh... No, no, no, no,
nothing weird.
312
00:15:32,036 --> 00:15:34,288
Just the regular old
boring Russos.
313
00:15:34,747 --> 00:15:36,791
No reason for you
to get worked up, Dad.
314
00:15:37,375 --> 00:15:39,293
Wait, wait, wait,
you're saying we're boring?
You think we're boring?
315
00:15:39,543 --> 00:15:41,462
Oh, yeah, totally,
totally the boring-est.
316
00:15:42,338 --> 00:15:44,340
Maybe I could stand to use
a little excitement in life.
317
00:15:44,340 --> 00:15:47,051
Well, well,
you are not gonna find it here,
318
00:15:47,051 --> 00:15:50,221
because our house
is boring central.
319
00:15:51,263 --> 00:15:54,433
See, I'm getting bored
just talking about it.
320
00:15:55,184 --> 00:15:56,894
See ya.
321
00:16:00,690 --> 00:16:03,984
Not there. Not there.
322
00:16:05,945 --> 00:16:09,323
Not there.
There you are.
323
00:16:12,284 --> 00:16:14,537
I guess I could start looking
for the floogie now.
324
00:16:19,125 --> 00:16:21,669
- Oh, hi, Alex. Bye, Alex.
- No, no.
325
00:16:22,712 --> 00:16:26,215
I knew it. You had something
to do with the floogie.
326
00:16:26,215 --> 00:16:27,800
This is just like
when you put a curse
327
00:16:27,800 --> 00:16:29,385
on Professor
Dinklebot's toothbrush.
328
00:16:30,386 --> 00:16:33,556
He was shaving
his tongue for a month.
329
00:16:33,556 --> 00:16:35,141
That was hilarious.
- I know!
330
00:16:35,141 --> 00:16:38,185
But no!
This is not a laughing matter.
331
00:16:38,686 --> 00:16:41,230
Oh, you made me
sound like my mother. Billie,
332
00:16:42,022 --> 00:16:44,608
Justin is not gonna teach you if
he thinks that you're trouble.
333
00:16:45,276 --> 00:16:47,820
- Sounds like a win-win to me.
- You don't get it.
334
00:16:48,821 --> 00:16:50,364
This is your last chance.
335
00:16:51,157 --> 00:16:52,908
The Tribunal thinks
that you're dangerous
336
00:16:52,908 --> 00:16:54,160
and they wanna take your wand.
337
00:16:54,160 --> 00:16:56,328
But that's not fair.
I'm a great wizard.
338
00:16:56,328 --> 00:16:59,123
You're a powerful wizard.
There's a difference.
339
00:16:59,832 --> 00:17:02,334
I'm not dangerous, and I'll
prove it. I can fix this.
340
00:17:02,334 --> 00:17:06,046
Just stay out of the way. You've
done quite enough, young lady.
341
00:17:06,714 --> 00:17:08,382
Who am I right now?
342
00:17:11,886 --> 00:17:13,429
Hey, where are you going?
343
00:17:13,429 --> 00:17:15,431
I'm going upstairs
to find that floogie.
344
00:17:16,682 --> 00:17:17,767
What do you think you're doing?
345
00:17:18,058 --> 00:17:20,644
Going with you.
You mess everything up!
346
00:17:20,936 --> 00:17:23,314
- You clearly need help!
- No, I don't!
347
00:17:23,898 --> 00:17:26,776
With magic cast by me alone,
I send thee to the Nowhere Zone.
348
00:17:30,654 --> 00:17:32,239
Here, floogie, floogie!
349
00:17:37,286 --> 00:17:42,792
Levitatus sofitus.
Wow, it's clean under here.
350
00:17:42,792 --> 00:17:44,877
What am I talking about?
We're at Justin's house.
351
00:17:44,877 --> 00:17:46,629
Of course
he vacuums under the couch.
352
00:17:49,215 --> 00:17:51,342
I wasn't using magic!
353
00:17:52,676 --> 00:17:57,014
Listen, Alex. I'm sorry
that I snapped at you, okay?
354
00:17:57,014 --> 00:17:59,600
It's just, you were talking
about all the great stuff
355
00:17:59,600 --> 00:18:02,019
you're doing, and I got jealous.
356
00:18:02,686 --> 00:18:03,854
Really? Of me?
357
00:18:04,313 --> 00:18:08,150
Yeah. You know,
maybe I do miss being a wizard.
358
00:18:09,735 --> 00:18:11,654
I'm so happy
to hear you say that.
359
00:18:12,780 --> 00:18:16,492
- Why?
- Okay, Billie is an incredibly
360
00:18:16,492 --> 00:18:19,161
powerful wizard,
but she's rebellious,
361
00:18:19,161 --> 00:18:22,665
and stubborn and sarcastic.
She has no discipline.
362
00:18:22,873 --> 00:18:24,250
Sounds like
someone else I know.
363
00:18:24,250 --> 00:18:25,709
Like me, I get it.
364
00:18:26,126 --> 00:18:28,546
But I had Dad.
365
00:18:28,546 --> 00:18:32,007
and I had you.
Billie has no one.
366
00:18:32,341 --> 00:18:34,927
Every teacher she's ever had
has given up on her.
367
00:18:36,136 --> 00:18:39,765
- It's kinda why I'm here. I'm--
- No, Alex. No.
368
00:18:40,015 --> 00:18:43,102
I mean, I... I... I...
I don't teach wizards anymore.
369
00:18:43,477 --> 00:18:45,688
Justin, you were
the youngest headmaster
370
00:18:45,688 --> 00:18:47,314
of WizTech in history.
371
00:18:47,648 --> 00:18:49,149
Yeah, and then I got fired.
372
00:18:49,483 --> 00:18:52,027
So, what?
You just hide out here
373
00:18:52,027 --> 00:18:54,280
in Staten Island
and deny who you are?
374
00:18:55,155 --> 00:18:58,075
I don't want my family
to know anything about my past.
375
00:18:59,660 --> 00:19:01,620
So, you're ashamed
of being a wizard?
376
00:19:02,246 --> 00:19:05,291
No. A failure.
377
00:19:13,424 --> 00:19:15,634
You only fail
if you give up, Justin.
378
00:19:17,803 --> 00:19:20,180
Billie needs a teacher
who believes in her.
379
00:19:21,473 --> 00:19:24,894
She needs you,
like I needed you.
380
00:19:27,605 --> 00:19:30,482
I don't know
if I have it in me to try again.
381
00:19:37,781 --> 00:19:39,533
This couch feels
two inches further to the left.
382
00:19:42,119 --> 00:19:43,662
Billie!
383
00:19:51,045 --> 00:19:53,631
Alex, there's a gigantic floogie
in my kid's room!
384
00:19:53,881 --> 00:19:57,927
Really? Where?
Billie, what did you do?
385
00:19:58,302 --> 00:20:00,930
I tried banishing it, but I only
made it bigger. Alex, please!
386
00:20:02,056 --> 00:20:04,642
I thought I could do it,
but I can't. I was wrong.
387
00:20:06,060 --> 00:20:07,603
Alex, what are you doing!?
Banish it for her!
388
00:20:14,860 --> 00:20:16,654
Alex!
Don't! Come here!
389
00:20:22,576 --> 00:20:25,287
What are we gonna do?
Alex is the only wizard
390
00:20:25,287 --> 00:20:27,498
strong enough
to banish that thing. You do it.
391
00:20:27,498 --> 00:20:28,791
I... I can't do it.
392
00:20:29,166 --> 00:20:31,251
But Alex said you were the best
she's ever known.
393
00:20:31,585 --> 00:20:32,920
Would've been nice
to hear that from her.
394
00:20:35,172 --> 00:20:38,384
Listen to me. You have
to do this, okay? Only you can.
395
00:20:38,384 --> 00:20:40,177
I already tried, but I failed.
396
00:20:43,222 --> 00:20:45,099
A wise wizard once told me,
you only fail if you give up.
397
00:20:45,599 --> 00:20:47,768
Now, what were you thinking
when you summoned it?
398
00:20:47,768 --> 00:20:49,520
Guess I just thought
of the floogie, the closet,
399
00:20:49,520 --> 00:20:51,313
and then I said the spell,
and it was there.
400
00:20:53,857 --> 00:20:55,901
Just focus, okay?
Clear your mind.
401
00:20:55,901 --> 00:20:57,736
I told you, I can't.
402
00:20:58,612 --> 00:21:00,739
My teachers were right
not to believe in me.
403
00:21:02,533 --> 00:21:06,161
No. No, no, no.
You just had the wrong teachers.
404
00:21:06,161 --> 00:21:09,248
Okay? Hey,
you got this, all right?
405
00:21:09,957 --> 00:21:11,542
I believe in you, okay?
406
00:21:12,626 --> 00:21:14,044
Think of the place
you wanna send the floogie.
407
00:21:14,378 --> 00:21:16,922
And repeat after me.
408
00:21:17,923 --> 00:21:21,427
With magic strong
and words of power.
409
00:21:26,598 --> 00:21:28,225
We banish you, floogie,
at this hour.
410
00:21:29,351 --> 00:21:30,978
We banish you, floogie,
at this hour.
411
00:21:34,148 --> 00:21:36,066
Now, together.
412
00:21:36,442 --> 00:21:37,943
Back to the road
from whence you came,
413
00:21:37,943 --> 00:21:39,319
and never ever more remain.
414
00:21:49,580 --> 00:21:51,165
We did it!
415
00:21:53,292 --> 00:21:56,378
- You did it.
- And I knew that you could.
416
00:21:58,380 --> 00:21:59,381
Justin taught me.
417
00:21:59,757 --> 00:22:01,592
Oh, thought you don't
teach anymore.
418
00:22:02,551 --> 00:22:04,344
Wait, did you let yourself
get frozen on purpose
419
00:22:04,344 --> 00:22:05,721
so I'd have to step in
and instruct her,
420
00:22:05,721 --> 00:22:07,264
thus rediscovering
my love of teaching?
421
00:22:08,390 --> 00:22:10,559
That would've been
a really smart plan.
422
00:22:10,809 --> 00:22:12,227
Well, and I don't know
if you did or you didn't.
423
00:22:12,227 --> 00:22:14,104
That's just the way I want it.
424
00:22:18,650 --> 00:22:20,360
I was hanging
on my bike forever.
425
00:22:20,360 --> 00:22:22,988
I'm gonna have to put lotion
on my tender parts.
426
00:22:24,114 --> 00:22:25,991
She trapped me
in the Nowhere Zone.
427
00:22:26,450 --> 00:22:27,993
I saw things I can't forget.
428
00:22:28,535 --> 00:22:30,954
They don't have a lotion
for your brain, Milo.
429
00:22:31,872 --> 00:22:32,956
Actually, they do.
430
00:22:34,166 --> 00:22:34,833
But the worm
that makes it has to crawl in
431
00:22:34,833 --> 00:22:36,001
through your earhole.
432
00:22:37,669 --> 00:22:40,130
But for real,
thanks for trying to help me.
433
00:22:40,714 --> 00:22:42,341
Thanks for saving my family.
434
00:22:43,634 --> 00:22:45,052
I mean, you are the one
that put them in danger,
435
00:22:45,052 --> 00:22:47,096
but... thanks.
436
00:22:48,388 --> 00:22:50,349
It was so weird.
I-- I'm in the kitchen,
437
00:22:50,557 --> 00:22:51,767
and the next thing I know,
438
00:22:51,767 --> 00:22:53,560
I'm in the garage
with a blanket over my head.
439
00:22:53,560 --> 00:22:55,938
That is weird.
440
00:22:57,356 --> 00:22:58,482
You know, it's probably best
441
00:22:58,482 --> 00:23:00,025
to just forget about it
and move on.
442
00:23:02,444 --> 00:23:04,655
You know, I could hit her
with a little cerebellum erasus
443
00:23:04,655 --> 00:23:05,823
and erase her memory.
444
00:23:05,823 --> 00:23:07,199
Keep your wand
out of my wife's head.
445
00:23:10,202 --> 00:23:12,079
So, Milo, I've been thinking.
446
00:23:12,538 --> 00:23:14,498
Um, now that we know
that wizards are real,
447
00:23:14,498 --> 00:23:15,624
and monsters are real...
448
00:23:15,624 --> 00:23:17,501
I already knew that,
but continue.
449
00:23:19,878 --> 00:23:22,005
I've, uh, I've decided
to stay in our room.
450
00:23:22,381 --> 00:23:24,258
You know,
for when you get scared.
451
00:23:24,550 --> 00:23:26,135
When he gets scared
or when you get scared?
452
00:23:27,094 --> 00:23:30,472
When are you leaving?
Hey, Dad, when is she leaving?
453
00:23:30,848 --> 00:23:33,559
Actually, I was thinking
she could, uh, stay with us
454
00:23:33,559 --> 00:23:34,643
for a little while.
455
00:23:35,811 --> 00:23:37,688
- Are you sure?
- Yeah, Dad, are you sure?
456
00:23:39,565 --> 00:23:40,607
What do you think?
457
00:23:41,817 --> 00:23:45,320
I think
I could learn a lot here.
458
00:23:46,655 --> 00:23:48,115
And Giada's cool with this?
459
00:23:48,115 --> 00:23:49,491
- Totally.
- You didn't ask her.
460
00:23:49,700 --> 00:23:51,118
I didn't.
461
00:23:52,369 --> 00:23:54,246
Can't believe you're staying.
462
00:23:55,873 --> 00:23:57,249
You know,
I thought the face you made
463
00:23:57,249 --> 00:23:59,126
when you saw the floogie
was my favourite.
464
00:23:59,543 --> 00:24:01,003
But now it's this one.
465
00:24:01,003 --> 00:24:02,963
This one is definitely
my favorite.
466
00:24:04,548 --> 00:24:06,216
Happy birthday, J-Man.
467
00:24:06,216 --> 00:24:07,593
- Aw.
- Happy birthday!
468
00:24:07,801 --> 00:24:09,678
Oh, right, it's your birthday.
469
00:24:14,057 --> 00:24:16,310
If I'm gonna train you,
it can't be here.
470
00:24:16,310 --> 00:24:17,436
Why not?
471
00:24:17,436 --> 00:24:19,229
His family
doesn't know about wizards.
472
00:24:20,189 --> 00:24:23,233
Right! Yes,
they do not know about wizards,
473
00:24:23,233 --> 00:24:25,485
'cause I didn't tell them.
So, unless you told them--
474
00:24:25,485 --> 00:24:27,487
You know,
that is a really nice cardigan.
475
00:24:29,489 --> 00:24:30,616
Thank you.
476
00:24:31,909 --> 00:24:34,328
Alex, will you do the honors?
477
00:24:34,578 --> 00:24:36,496
Mm-hm.
478
00:24:45,380 --> 00:24:47,925
The old lair,
this takes me back.
479
00:24:47,925 --> 00:24:49,843
Oh!
480
00:24:59,770 --> 00:25:02,898
Hello, Wandy. My old friend.
481
00:25:07,027 --> 00:25:08,820
You know, I thought
you were just bringing me
482
00:25:08,820 --> 00:25:10,113
to another teacher
who doesn't care.
483
00:25:10,656 --> 00:25:13,659
But, I was wrong.
Thanks for believing in me.
484
00:25:13,867 --> 00:25:16,703
Of course. Us rebels,
we gotta stick together.
485
00:25:16,703 --> 00:25:18,455
Look, I have to go back
486
00:25:18,455 --> 00:25:19,831
to the Tribunal. Are you good?
487
00:25:20,165 --> 00:25:21,833
Don't worry. I'll be okay here.
488
00:25:22,209 --> 00:25:24,253
Zippo zap,
zippo zee, zippo zeria!
489
00:25:26,380 --> 00:25:28,924
Still got it.
490
00:25:30,259 --> 00:25:33,095
Okay, good, good,
because there's one thing I, um,
491
00:25:33,095 --> 00:25:34,972
kind of sort of
forgot to mention.
492
00:25:34,972 --> 00:25:37,224
Nothing big,
just this teeny tiny,
493
00:25:37,224 --> 00:25:39,559
but very real prophecy
about the end of the world,
494
00:25:39,559 --> 00:25:41,311
and Billie being
the only one who can save us.
495
00:25:42,646 --> 00:25:44,147
The fate of the world
is in her hands?
496
00:25:45,732 --> 00:25:47,276
Well, technically,
it's in your hands.
497
00:25:48,944 --> 00:25:50,195
You make sure she's ready,
498
00:25:50,195 --> 00:25:52,572
and I'll figure out
what she needs to be ready for.
499
00:25:53,365 --> 00:25:54,574
Thank you.
500
00:25:56,076 --> 00:25:57,077
For everything.
501
00:25:58,036 --> 00:25:59,746
Russos always
have each other's backs.
502
00:26:00,330 --> 00:26:02,332
Well, don't blow it, J-Man.
503
00:26:07,671 --> 00:26:09,506
I've missed this.
504
00:26:15,095 --> 00:26:17,306
"Don't blow it, J-Man."
What'd she mean by that?
505
00:26:18,348 --> 00:26:19,766
Uh, well, I, uh...
506
00:26:20,726 --> 00:26:22,102
I think we should get started.
507
00:26:22,769 --> 00:26:27,065
♪ Everything is not
what it seems ♪
39064
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Czech
Danish
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Polish
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romansh
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish (Latin American)
Swedish
Tajik
Tamil
Tatar
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof