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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:01:08,981 --> 00:01:10,766 Commander, it's Agent Beamish. 2 00:01:10,809 --> 00:01:11,636 Verify. 3 00:01:13,334 --> 00:01:14,335 It's him, sir. 4 00:01:14,378 --> 00:01:15,858 Activate the door. 5 00:01:19,905 --> 00:01:20,906 What's up, sir? 6 00:01:20,950 --> 00:01:22,299 The fate of the world, 7 00:01:22,343 --> 00:01:23,735 the president's blood pressure and you! 8 00:01:23,779 --> 00:01:25,172 Sit down, sit down! 9 00:01:25,215 --> 00:01:28,697 I have the president on security channel three, sir. 10 00:01:32,004 --> 00:01:33,702 As most of you know, 11 00:01:33,745 --> 00:01:37,575 our foremost atmospheric physicist Dr. Marcus Hottentot 12 00:01:37,619 --> 00:01:39,925 achieved a remarkable breakthrough last week 13 00:01:39,969 --> 00:01:42,493 when he discovered the Hottentot formula, 14 00:01:42,537 --> 00:01:45,366 the key to global climate control. 15 00:01:45,409 --> 00:01:48,760 This past week, he disappeared. 16 00:01:48,804 --> 00:01:51,720 Today I learned the Hottentot formula is in the hands 17 00:01:51,763 --> 00:01:55,463 of a terrorist organization called KAOS. 18 00:01:55,506 --> 00:01:58,640 They have used our formula to create their own 19 00:01:58,683 --> 00:02:00,642 weather machine, which is capable... 20 00:02:00,685 --> 00:02:02,122 The president should be wearing an overcoat. 21 00:02:02,165 --> 00:02:03,601 He's gonna freeze to death. 22 00:02:03,645 --> 00:02:04,950 He should be in his office. 23 00:02:04,994 --> 00:02:08,519 Just minutes ago, I was contacted by KAOS. 24 00:02:08,563 --> 00:02:10,086 - He is in his office. - Demanding we pay them 25 00:02:10,130 --> 00:02:13,959 $250 billion in small bills within seven days. 26 00:02:15,744 --> 00:02:17,920 This added to our deficit problem 27 00:02:17,963 --> 00:02:20,836 makes the situation intolerable. 28 00:02:21,793 --> 00:02:26,450 KAOS must be destroyed before they destroy us. 29 00:02:26,494 --> 00:02:30,672 I put the fate of our nation in your capable hands. 30 00:02:33,675 --> 00:02:34,806 What do we think? 31 00:02:34,850 --> 00:02:36,373 I think this is just another snow job 32 00:02:36,417 --> 00:02:37,679 from the White House. 33 00:02:37,722 --> 00:02:40,116 Hottentot was a recluse, lived in his laboratory. 34 00:02:40,160 --> 00:02:43,772 How did KAOS know about him, contact him? 35 00:02:47,819 --> 00:02:51,736 I strongly suspect we have a double agent in our midst. 36 00:02:51,780 --> 00:02:53,390 Wait a minute, 37 00:02:53,434 --> 00:02:54,870 you mean it could be someone in our own organization? 38 00:02:54,913 --> 00:02:57,655 Unfortunately, yes, and this presents a major problem. 39 00:02:57,699 --> 00:03:00,136 Who do I trust to head this operation? 40 00:03:00,180 --> 00:03:01,746 If you're right, 41 00:03:01,790 --> 00:03:03,661 I suggest we find somebody outside the company. 42 00:03:03,705 --> 00:03:05,185 I have just the fella. 43 00:03:05,228 --> 00:03:06,490 Now what was his name? 44 00:03:06,534 --> 00:03:08,623 He worked for us years ago at Control. 45 00:03:08,666 --> 00:03:10,625 That was an agency we created back in the '60s 46 00:03:10,668 --> 00:03:14,194 to deal exclusively with the evil organization KAOS. 47 00:03:14,237 --> 00:03:17,849 I can see him, beady eyes, weird voice. 48 00:03:17,893 --> 00:03:19,590 Maxwell Smart. 49 00:03:19,634 --> 00:03:21,636 Well, let's see if he's still active. 50 00:03:21,679 --> 00:03:23,203 Run a check, Williams. 51 00:03:26,162 --> 00:03:28,860 Maxwell Smart, currently serving as a protocol officer 52 00:03:28,904 --> 00:03:31,776 for the State Department, substituting for senior officials 53 00:03:31,820 --> 00:03:34,039 who want to avoid functions such as ship christenings, 54 00:03:34,083 --> 00:03:35,824 weddings, funerals, circumcision. 55 00:03:35,867 --> 00:03:36,955 Good, he's still with us. 56 00:03:36,999 --> 00:03:38,653 How can we reach Smart now? 57 00:03:40,568 --> 00:03:41,830 He has a shoe phone, sir. 58 00:03:41,873 --> 00:03:43,484 A shoe phone? 59 00:03:43,527 --> 00:03:45,225 In those days, shoe phones were standard issue 60 00:03:45,268 --> 00:03:47,096 for all Control agents, let's call him. 61 00:03:47,139 --> 00:03:51,622 Merriweather, Control was phased out almost 20 years ago. 62 00:03:51,666 --> 00:03:54,582 It's inconceivable to me that anybody in his right mind 63 00:03:54,625 --> 00:03:57,759 would still be wearing his phone. 64 00:03:57,802 --> 00:03:59,587 Oh, well, give it a try. 65 00:03:59,630 --> 00:04:01,241 Get Smart. 66 00:04:11,599 --> 00:04:13,253 - What? - What? 67 00:04:22,784 --> 00:04:25,656 Gentlemen, I'm afraid you're going to have to carry on 68 00:04:25,700 --> 00:04:26,614 without me. 69 00:04:38,713 --> 00:04:40,671 Sorry about that. 70 00:04:52,683 --> 00:04:55,643 This is Maxwell Smart, Agent 86 speaking. 71 00:04:55,686 --> 00:04:56,948 This is Commander Drury, 72 00:04:56,992 --> 00:04:59,734 head of the United States Intelligence Agency. 73 00:04:59,777 --> 00:05:02,780 This is the single most important telephone call 74 00:05:02,824 --> 00:05:05,217 you will ever receive. 75 00:05:05,261 --> 00:05:07,089 The fate of the world depends upon you. 76 00:05:07,132 --> 00:05:09,221 Could you hold that thought for a second, sir? 77 00:05:10,614 --> 00:05:12,050 Someone's coming. 78 00:05:15,140 --> 00:05:17,578 He put the world on hold. 79 00:05:21,973 --> 00:05:23,932 Sorry, Commander, you were saying? 80 00:05:23,975 --> 00:05:26,238 This is the single most important telephone call 81 00:05:26,282 --> 00:05:27,805 you will ever receive. 82 00:05:27,849 --> 00:05:30,634 The fate of the civilized world depends upon you. 83 00:05:30,678 --> 00:05:32,767 What about our side, sir? 84 00:05:32,810 --> 00:05:36,161 Smart, I want, what was that noise? 85 00:05:36,205 --> 00:05:37,641 Could my phone be bugged? 86 00:05:37,685 --> 00:05:39,817 Could be my phone, I have shoe waiting. 87 00:05:39,861 --> 00:05:43,821 I'll get back to ya. 88 00:05:46,607 --> 00:05:47,782 - Hello, 99. - Max! 89 00:05:47,825 --> 00:05:48,826 I have some very exciting news for you, 90 00:05:48,870 --> 00:05:50,132 but I'm gonna have to call ya back, 91 00:05:50,175 --> 00:05:52,177 because I'm on my other shoe. 92 00:05:52,221 --> 00:05:53,831 Commander, go ahead. 93 00:05:53,875 --> 00:05:56,094 Smart, I think it would be immeasurably easier 94 00:05:56,138 --> 00:05:57,661 if I tell you in person. 95 00:06:00,969 --> 00:06:02,753 Could you speak a little louder, sir? 96 00:06:02,797 --> 00:06:05,103 They're throwing dirt in my grave. 97 00:06:05,147 --> 00:06:06,714 They're throwing dirt in your? 98 00:06:06,757 --> 00:06:08,672 You handle this. 99 00:06:08,716 --> 00:06:10,152 Smart, Lambert here. 100 00:06:10,195 --> 00:06:13,242 The commander wants you to report to, 101 00:06:13,285 --> 00:06:14,112 hello? 102 00:06:14,983 --> 00:06:16,288 He's not answering. 103 00:06:16,332 --> 00:06:17,812 His phone's out of order, sir. 104 00:06:17,855 --> 00:06:20,380 Well, try his other shoe. 105 00:06:20,423 --> 00:06:21,946 I can't believe I said that. 106 00:06:21,990 --> 00:06:23,774 It's unlisted, Commander. 107 00:06:23,818 --> 00:06:25,820 He's bound to contact us, sir. 108 00:06:25,863 --> 00:06:27,691 He doesn't know where we are. 109 00:06:27,735 --> 00:06:29,214 In all probability, 110 00:06:29,258 --> 00:06:31,216 he'll report to the old Control secret headquarters. 111 00:06:31,260 --> 00:06:32,783 Good, where's that? 112 00:06:32,827 --> 00:06:35,873 I don't know, it was a well kept secret. 113 00:07:51,862 --> 00:07:52,472 Yes. 114 00:07:54,735 --> 00:07:55,779 I think I like it. 115 00:07:55,823 --> 00:07:57,259 I like it, too. 116 00:07:57,302 --> 00:08:00,392 But I'm not sure about America's most glamorous spy. 117 00:08:00,436 --> 00:08:03,483 Oh, well, of course it's hard for you to be objective. 118 00:08:03,526 --> 00:08:06,398 I'm convinced that we've got a bestseller in the making, 119 00:08:06,442 --> 00:08:07,791 if we can get... 120 00:08:07,835 --> 00:08:09,706 Me to finish the book. 121 00:08:09,750 --> 00:08:11,360 I seem to have three problems with writing: 122 00:08:11,403 --> 00:08:13,057 how to start a sentence, how to continue it, 123 00:08:13,101 --> 00:08:14,711 and how to finish it. 124 00:08:14,755 --> 00:08:15,495 Oh, nonsense, everyone thinks you're doing 125 00:08:15,538 --> 00:08:16,887 a marvelous job. 126 00:08:16,931 --> 00:08:18,410 Everyone? 127 00:08:18,454 --> 00:08:20,456 I thought my manuscript was being kept top secret. 128 00:08:20,500 --> 00:08:23,067 It is, no one's read it except Nick, 129 00:08:23,111 --> 00:08:25,722 my assistants Allison and Claudia, Chuck, and myself. 130 00:08:25,766 --> 00:08:27,811 Well, please don't let anyone else see it. 131 00:08:27,855 --> 00:08:29,987 Some of this material may still be classified, 132 00:08:30,031 --> 00:08:32,381 and until we get it cleared, I'm a little apprehensive. 133 00:08:32,424 --> 00:08:34,122 Oh, well, of course, 134 00:08:34,165 --> 00:08:35,340 of course. 135 00:08:35,384 --> 00:08:36,994 Oh, afraid I'm gonna have to run along. 136 00:08:37,038 --> 00:08:38,126 I've got a lunch date. 137 00:08:38,169 --> 00:08:39,823 We'll see you soon, 138 00:08:39,867 --> 00:08:42,130 with the new pages, I hope. 139 00:08:44,001 --> 00:08:45,220 Lisa. 140 00:08:45,263 --> 00:08:46,264 - Mr. Smart is here. - Oh, by all means, 141 00:08:46,308 --> 00:08:47,831 send him in. 142 00:08:47,875 --> 00:08:48,528 Your husband's here. 143 00:08:48,571 --> 00:08:49,529 Max here? 144 00:08:49,572 --> 00:08:50,878 I wonder why. 145 00:08:52,053 --> 00:08:54,838 99, I've got some very exciting news for you. 146 00:08:54,882 --> 00:08:56,361 I got a call on my shoe phone. 147 00:08:56,405 --> 00:08:59,451 I may be reactivated, and I want you to give me your, 148 00:08:59,495 --> 00:09:00,322 oh, hello. 149 00:09:01,497 --> 00:09:03,325 Max, this is Lisa Spencer my editor. 150 00:09:03,368 --> 00:09:04,239 Oh, how do you do? 151 00:09:04,282 --> 00:09:05,457 Nice to meet you. 152 00:09:05,501 --> 00:09:06,894 Oh, Mr. Smart, this is a great honor. 153 00:09:06,937 --> 00:09:08,243 I've been reading all about you. 154 00:09:08,286 --> 00:09:10,854 You are quite a remarkable man. 155 00:09:10,898 --> 00:09:12,421 Yes. 156 00:09:12,464 --> 00:09:14,858 And congratulations on being reactivated. 157 00:09:14,902 --> 00:09:18,775 Ah, well, that's not official, my being reactivated. 158 00:09:18,819 --> 00:09:21,473 Look, you two wanna talk, I've got an early lunch. 159 00:09:21,517 --> 00:09:22,910 Why not use my office? 160 00:09:22,953 --> 00:09:23,954 You're sure it'll be all right? 161 00:09:23,998 --> 00:09:25,521 Oh, of course. 162 00:09:25,565 --> 00:09:27,175 Your wife's book's gonna be a best seller, don't you think? 163 00:09:27,218 --> 00:09:28,829 Well, I certainly hope so. 164 00:09:28,872 --> 00:09:30,787 I'm looking forward to reading it. 165 00:09:30,831 --> 00:09:31,875 You haven't read it yet? 166 00:09:31,919 --> 00:09:33,573 We agreed there could be a conflict. 167 00:09:33,616 --> 00:09:36,097 I'm planning on writing my memoirs. 168 00:09:36,140 --> 00:09:38,926 Make sure you bring them to us. 169 00:09:40,231 --> 00:09:41,885 Who called you on your shoe, Max? 170 00:09:41,929 --> 00:09:43,365 Commander Drury, 171 00:09:43,408 --> 00:09:45,541 head of the United States Intelligence Agency. 172 00:09:45,585 --> 00:09:46,977 What did he say? 173 00:09:47,021 --> 00:09:48,588 That the fate of the world was in my hands. 174 00:09:48,631 --> 00:09:50,024 You know, the usual. 175 00:09:50,067 --> 00:09:51,591 Anyway, I'm supposed to report immediately. 176 00:09:51,634 --> 00:09:52,504 Where? 177 00:09:52,548 --> 00:09:53,897 Well, I can't tell you that. 178 00:09:53,941 --> 00:09:55,072 Is it a secret? 179 00:09:55,116 --> 00:09:56,857 I have no secrets from you, 99, 180 00:09:56,900 --> 00:09:58,423 it's just that my shoe phone was demolished 181 00:09:58,467 --> 00:10:00,338 before I could complete the call, 182 00:10:00,382 --> 00:10:01,818 and I didn't know where to go, 183 00:10:01,862 --> 00:10:03,994 and then when I went over to Control headquarters, 184 00:10:04,038 --> 00:10:05,561 I found it was abandoned. 185 00:10:05,605 --> 00:10:07,258 Oh, maybe it's just as well, Max. 186 00:10:07,302 --> 00:10:09,478 You've been out of the spy business for a long time, 187 00:10:09,521 --> 00:10:11,915 and being an agent is very taxing. 188 00:10:11,959 --> 00:10:13,569 Are you sure you can handle it? 189 00:10:13,613 --> 00:10:15,179 Handle it, handle it? 190 00:10:15,223 --> 00:10:16,572 Are you kidding me, 99? 191 00:10:16,616 --> 00:10:18,443 I'm in the best shape of my life, look at me, 192 00:10:18,487 --> 00:10:20,620 physically and mentally I'm at my peak. 193 00:10:20,663 --> 00:10:21,621 I have the eyes of an eagle. 194 00:10:21,664 --> 00:10:23,361 I have the reflexes of a leopard. 195 00:10:23,405 --> 00:10:24,188 I have 196 00:10:25,494 --> 00:10:28,279 the beginning of a very bad hernia. 197 00:10:29,890 --> 00:10:33,241 Max, why don't we try the yellow pages? 198 00:10:33,284 --> 00:10:34,634 The yellow pages? 199 00:10:34,677 --> 00:10:36,287 Sure, they list government agencies. 200 00:10:36,331 --> 00:10:37,854 Don't be ridiculous, 99. 201 00:10:37,898 --> 00:10:39,508 The United States Intelligence Agency 202 00:10:39,551 --> 00:10:41,205 may be a part of the government, 203 00:10:41,249 --> 00:10:43,468 but it's a clandestine organization. 204 00:10:43,512 --> 00:10:45,470 It deserves total security. 205 00:10:45,514 --> 00:10:46,558 It's top secret. 206 00:10:46,602 --> 00:10:48,473 It's undercover. 207 00:10:48,517 --> 00:10:49,649 It's 555-3931. 208 00:10:54,697 --> 00:10:56,307 It's Smart, sir. 209 00:10:56,351 --> 00:10:58,266 Bring him in. 210 00:11:04,272 --> 00:11:07,318 Commander Drury, Maxwell Smart reporting for duty. 211 00:11:14,586 --> 00:11:18,590 Yeah, well, Smart, I want an honest evaluation. 212 00:11:18,634 --> 00:11:20,592 Are you in good enough physical condition 213 00:11:20,636 --> 00:11:23,639 to return to active duty as a counterintelligence agent? 214 00:11:23,683 --> 00:11:25,510 You appear to be in pretty good shape. 215 00:11:25,554 --> 00:11:26,598 Do you work out? 216 00:11:26,642 --> 00:11:29,514 Commander, I jog 100 miles every day. 217 00:11:29,558 --> 00:11:31,168 Would you believe it, 100 miles? 218 00:11:31,212 --> 00:11:32,996 I find that hard to believe. 219 00:11:33,040 --> 00:11:34,476 Would you believe 50? 220 00:11:34,519 --> 00:11:35,651 No. 221 00:11:35,695 --> 00:11:38,698 How 'bout two push-ups and deep breath? 222 00:11:38,741 --> 00:11:41,352 Sit down, sit down, Smart. 223 00:11:41,396 --> 00:11:43,180 This is Major Waterhouse. 224 00:11:43,224 --> 00:11:44,007 Major. 225 00:11:45,182 --> 00:11:46,444 Sorry about that. 226 00:11:46,488 --> 00:11:50,361 Now, Smart, I want your personal guarantee 227 00:11:50,405 --> 00:11:53,582 that you are physically capable of handling this assignment. 228 00:11:53,625 --> 00:11:56,324 Sir, my vision is 20/20. 229 00:11:56,367 --> 00:11:58,979 My pulse is 90 beats per minute. 230 00:11:59,022 --> 00:12:01,633 My blood pressure is 120 over 70, 231 00:12:01,677 --> 00:12:03,679 and I have the same waistline I had 232 00:12:03,723 --> 00:12:05,681 when I was three years old. 233 00:12:05,725 --> 00:12:08,031 Yeah, I was a fat kid. 234 00:12:10,512 --> 00:12:11,556 How 'bout a refill? 235 00:12:11,600 --> 00:12:13,210 No. 236 00:12:13,254 --> 00:12:16,605 Now, Smart, what I'm about to tell you is top secret. 237 00:12:17,693 --> 00:12:19,347 Well, if it's top secret, sir, 238 00:12:19,390 --> 00:12:22,306 then we should use the cone of silence. 239 00:12:22,350 --> 00:12:23,133 The what? 240 00:12:23,177 --> 00:12:24,569 The cone of silence, 241 00:12:24,613 --> 00:12:27,007 it's an obsolete anti-bugging device. 242 00:12:27,050 --> 00:12:28,573 Well, it's not really obsolete, sir. 243 00:12:28,617 --> 00:12:31,098 As a matter of fact, I bought one 244 00:12:31,141 --> 00:12:34,101 at the Control garage sale, it's hanging over my bed. 245 00:12:34,144 --> 00:12:35,189 Over your bed? 246 00:12:35,232 --> 00:12:37,017 I talk in my sleep. 247 00:12:37,060 --> 00:12:40,237 No cone of silence, this office is secure. 248 00:12:40,281 --> 00:12:43,675 Well, sir, the manual clearly states, 249 00:12:43,719 --> 00:12:46,591 Major, I'm going to cross my legs. 250 00:12:46,635 --> 00:12:48,115 Thank you. 251 00:12:48,158 --> 00:12:49,986 The manual clearly states 252 00:12:50,030 --> 00:12:52,119 that if you're having a top-secret conference, 253 00:12:52,162 --> 00:12:55,035 you should be using an anti-bugging device. 254 00:12:55,078 --> 00:12:56,123 Where's our manual? 255 00:12:56,166 --> 00:12:56,776 It's on the shelf. 256 00:12:56,819 --> 00:12:57,646 I'll get it. 257 00:13:04,305 --> 00:13:06,002 Here's the manual. 258 00:13:06,046 --> 00:13:09,789 Unfortunately, someone spilled coffee on it. 259 00:13:13,749 --> 00:13:16,186 Major, can I borrow your handkerchief? 260 00:13:16,230 --> 00:13:17,709 Use your own handkerchief. 261 00:13:17,753 --> 00:13:20,582 Well, mine is filled with tea from my last meeting. 262 00:13:20,625 --> 00:13:23,541 We don't need the manual. 263 00:13:23,585 --> 00:13:25,021 Unfortunately, Smart is right. 264 00:13:25,065 --> 00:13:27,632 In the case of an E-1 emergency, and this certainly is one, 265 00:13:27,676 --> 00:13:29,286 we have to use hover cover. 266 00:13:29,330 --> 00:13:30,722 Hover cover! 267 00:13:30,766 --> 00:13:34,596 Of course, hover cover, it's vital we use hover cover. 268 00:13:34,639 --> 00:13:37,164 Gentlemen, it is my unqualified opinion 269 00:13:37,207 --> 00:13:40,602 that we cannot do without hover cover. 270 00:13:40,645 --> 00:13:42,560 Just one question. 271 00:13:42,604 --> 00:13:44,258 What is hover cover? 272 00:13:54,442 --> 00:13:57,271 Smart, KAOS is back in business. 273 00:13:58,272 --> 00:14:00,274 What? 274 00:14:00,317 --> 00:14:03,668 He says KAOS is back in business! 275 00:14:03,712 --> 00:14:04,539 What? 276 00:14:12,286 --> 00:14:17,160 KAOS has a machine that can destroy all life on earth. 277 00:14:17,204 --> 00:14:18,683 Sounds serious. 278 00:14:18,727 --> 00:14:20,860 What kind of a machine? 279 00:14:22,905 --> 00:14:24,385 What did he say? 280 00:14:26,213 --> 00:14:28,476 He said this is going nowhere. 281 00:14:28,519 --> 00:14:31,696 I have no idea what that means. 282 00:14:36,745 --> 00:14:38,616 Lose the choppers! 283 00:14:38,660 --> 00:14:39,661 What? 284 00:14:39,704 --> 00:14:42,794 Lose the choppers, get rid of them! 285 00:14:46,668 --> 00:14:50,150 Now, Smart, I want you to listen to me, 286 00:14:50,193 --> 00:14:53,283 because I'm going to say what I have to say once 287 00:14:53,327 --> 00:14:54,502 and only once. 288 00:14:54,545 --> 00:14:57,548 One, KAOS has a weather machine. 289 00:14:57,592 --> 00:15:00,900 It is capable of changing the world as we know it. 290 00:15:00,943 --> 00:15:02,640 Changing the world as we know it, 291 00:15:02,684 --> 00:15:04,816 that's a very hopeful sign, sir. 292 00:15:04,860 --> 00:15:08,429 Two, they can produce acid rain, destroy our crops 293 00:15:08,472 --> 00:15:10,648 and pollute our water. 294 00:15:10,692 --> 00:15:14,217 You mean they can do that better than we're doing it now? 295 00:15:14,261 --> 00:15:18,395 Three, there is a mole in our organization 296 00:15:18,439 --> 00:15:20,745 and he turned Dr. Hottentop. 297 00:15:20,789 --> 00:15:21,790 Into what? 298 00:15:23,444 --> 00:15:24,358 If I may, 299 00:15:25,315 --> 00:15:26,751 Hottentot's a traitor. 300 00:15:26,795 --> 00:15:28,318 I find that hard to believe. 301 00:15:28,362 --> 00:15:29,537 Why would he defect? 302 00:15:29,580 --> 00:15:30,930 It doesn't make any sense. 303 00:15:30,973 --> 00:15:33,671 He sold his formula to KAOS for a million dollars. 304 00:15:33,715 --> 00:15:35,543 How you make ask do we know that? 305 00:15:35,586 --> 00:15:37,327 I wouldn't ask that. 306 00:15:37,371 --> 00:15:39,286 We know that because in the last hour 307 00:15:39,329 --> 00:15:40,896 one of our surveillance teams intercepted him 308 00:15:40,940 --> 00:15:42,593 trying to get out of the country. 309 00:15:42,637 --> 00:15:44,291 Hottentot got away, 310 00:15:44,334 --> 00:15:46,597 but we do have all nine pounds of his wallet. 311 00:15:46,641 --> 00:15:48,599 Well, it just doesn't make any sense. 312 00:15:48,643 --> 00:15:50,906 Hottentot was never interested in money, 313 00:15:50,950 --> 00:15:52,734 and besides that we have nothing to worry about, 314 00:15:52,777 --> 00:15:54,562 because his formula never worked. 315 00:15:54,605 --> 00:15:55,780 It does now. 316 00:15:57,434 --> 00:16:00,481 Smart, your mission is to locate and infiltrate KAOS, 317 00:16:00,524 --> 00:16:02,874 eliminate the madman behind this heinous plot, 318 00:16:02,918 --> 00:16:05,442 and destroy their diabolical machine. 319 00:16:05,486 --> 00:16:06,748 How much time do I have? 320 00:16:06,791 --> 00:16:08,750 Until midnight the 23rd. 321 00:16:10,360 --> 00:16:11,622 Six days! 322 00:16:11,666 --> 00:16:12,884 Are you kidding? 323 00:16:12,928 --> 00:16:15,583 That's ridiculous, I can't do this in six days! 324 00:16:15,626 --> 00:16:16,845 Smart, that's seven days. 325 00:16:16,888 --> 00:16:18,586 Oh, okay. 326 00:16:18,629 --> 00:16:20,588 Is there anything else you need from us? 327 00:16:20,631 --> 00:16:22,329 Well, I'd like to reactivate Control 328 00:16:22,372 --> 00:16:23,547 and get my old team back. 329 00:16:23,591 --> 00:16:24,984 Granted, if they're still around. 330 00:16:25,027 --> 00:16:26,986 I'd also like to look in the Hottentot files. 331 00:16:27,029 --> 00:16:29,423 There may be something in there that I can use. 332 00:16:29,466 --> 00:16:32,469 Our records are warehoused at 9042743rd Street. 333 00:16:32,513 --> 00:16:33,427 You got that? 334 00:16:33,470 --> 00:16:36,473 Everything but the address. 335 00:16:36,517 --> 00:16:40,695 9042743rd Street, my aid Beamish will meet you there. 336 00:16:42,697 --> 00:16:46,701 Now, Smart, remember, KAOS will do everything 337 00:16:46,744 --> 00:16:49,008 in its power to try and stop you. 338 00:16:49,051 --> 00:16:51,662 You'll be in imminent danger and constant jeopardy, 339 00:16:51,706 --> 00:16:54,013 facing death at every turn. 340 00:16:54,056 --> 00:16:55,579 And loving it. 341 00:16:58,974 --> 00:17:00,584 Let's get outta here. 342 00:17:00,628 --> 00:17:01,890 No! 343 00:17:01,933 --> 00:17:03,544 I don't wanna go through that again. 344 00:17:03,587 --> 00:17:04,806 We'll take a cab. 345 00:17:09,680 --> 00:17:11,682 - So long fellas! - No! 346 00:17:13,684 --> 00:17:14,511 Oh no! 347 00:17:22,780 --> 00:17:26,001 Mr. Smart, I just wanna say that working with you 348 00:17:26,045 --> 00:17:27,524 is the highlight of my career. 349 00:17:27,568 --> 00:17:28,873 Well, thank you, Beamish. 350 00:17:28,917 --> 00:17:30,397 How long have you been with the agency? 351 00:17:30,440 --> 00:17:31,789 Three days. 352 00:17:31,833 --> 00:17:35,706 Mr. Smart, what's the secret of your success? 353 00:17:35,750 --> 00:17:38,883 Constant vigilance, razor-sharp instincts, 354 00:17:38,927 --> 00:17:40,885 and hold it. 355 00:17:46,717 --> 00:17:49,242 - Freeze! - Or your garbage! 356 00:17:49,285 --> 00:17:50,678 Or your garbage? 357 00:17:50,721 --> 00:17:51,896 I heard it in a movie. 358 00:18:04,474 --> 00:18:06,694 Okay, closet's clear. 359 00:18:06,737 --> 00:18:11,002 I've gotta remember that, check all closets. 360 00:18:11,046 --> 00:18:13,353 Here's the latest in security devices, 361 00:18:13,396 --> 00:18:15,050 the finger-identification panel. 362 00:18:15,094 --> 00:18:18,967 If your fingerprint doesn't match the one on file, 363 00:18:19,010 --> 00:18:20,664 the door doesn't open. 364 00:18:20,708 --> 00:18:24,494 Then I guess it's important to bring the right fingers. 365 00:18:31,936 --> 00:18:33,764 How many agents do ya have on file? 366 00:18:33,808 --> 00:18:35,549 About a million if you count the freelancers 367 00:18:35,592 --> 00:18:37,072 and the temps. 368 00:18:37,116 --> 00:18:38,552 Where do they keep the old Control files? 369 00:18:38,595 --> 00:18:40,597 Down here. 370 00:18:42,556 --> 00:18:43,600 How do these things work? 371 00:18:43,644 --> 00:18:45,559 Well, they're electronically sealed. 372 00:18:45,602 --> 00:18:47,691 You have to use a remote control, 373 00:18:47,735 --> 00:18:49,911 which doesn't seem to be working. 374 00:18:51,652 --> 00:18:52,479 It's working. 375 00:18:52,522 --> 00:18:53,306 Sorry. 376 00:18:55,090 --> 00:18:57,614 I'm sorry, I pushed the wrong button. 377 00:18:57,658 --> 00:18:58,659 You okay? 378 00:18:58,702 --> 00:19:00,095 Yes. 379 00:19:02,141 --> 00:19:02,967 13! 380 00:19:03,968 --> 00:19:04,882 Max! 381 00:19:04,926 --> 00:19:06,667 I was just dreaming about you. 382 00:19:06,710 --> 00:19:08,886 And I was just talking about you. 383 00:19:08,930 --> 00:19:10,671 Where have you been keeping yourself? 384 00:19:10,714 --> 00:19:14,414 Oh, here and there, it's just part-time spying now. 385 00:19:14,457 --> 00:19:16,416 Two weeks in a toilet in Toledo, 386 00:19:16,459 --> 00:19:18,113 a voodoo drum in Haiti. 387 00:19:18,157 --> 00:19:20,594 That was kind of fun, like a vacation. 388 00:19:20,637 --> 00:19:21,638 What's new, Max? 389 00:19:21,682 --> 00:19:23,684 KAOS is back in business. 390 00:19:23,727 --> 00:19:25,468 Does that mean we're back in business, too? 391 00:19:25,512 --> 00:19:27,862 Well, if I can find Hymie and Larrabee. 392 00:19:27,905 --> 00:19:29,864 Well, if these files are correct, 393 00:19:29,907 --> 00:19:31,431 Hymie should be working for 394 00:19:31,474 --> 00:19:33,476 the National Car Testing Institute. 395 00:19:33,520 --> 00:19:36,436 The National Car Testing Institute, what's he doing? 396 00:19:36,479 --> 00:19:37,828 He's a crash dummy. 397 00:19:37,872 --> 00:19:39,395 And Larrabee, he should still be over 398 00:19:39,439 --> 00:19:40,788 at the old Control building. 399 00:19:40,831 --> 00:19:42,006 But that's impossible. 400 00:19:42,050 --> 00:19:44,618 That building is empty, it's been condemned. 401 00:19:44,661 --> 00:19:45,880 Well, that's strange. 402 00:19:45,923 --> 00:19:47,751 Well, so is Larrabee. 403 00:19:47,795 --> 00:19:50,145 What about 99, is she on the team, too? 404 00:19:50,189 --> 00:19:51,625 Of course, we're having lunch, 405 00:19:51,668 --> 00:19:53,148 I'm gonna tell her about it. 406 00:19:53,192 --> 00:19:56,151 Max, what's our assignment, find Hottentot? 407 00:19:56,195 --> 00:19:58,458 13, how did you know that? 408 00:19:58,501 --> 00:20:00,721 I've still got my contacts, Max. 409 00:20:00,764 --> 00:20:04,594 I've got a friend inside the White House, really inside. 410 00:20:04,638 --> 00:20:06,727 She's in the plumbing. 411 00:20:06,770 --> 00:20:09,382 Now, what's KAOS's latest demand? 412 00:20:09,425 --> 00:20:11,601 Well, they threatened to destroy the world 413 00:20:11,645 --> 00:20:14,822 unless we pay them $250 billion. 414 00:20:14,865 --> 00:20:16,650 Why is it always us? 415 00:20:16,693 --> 00:20:19,000 Why does America have to always foot the bill? 416 00:20:19,043 --> 00:20:20,741 I mean, where are our allies? 417 00:20:20,784 --> 00:20:22,395 You'd think we'd hear from Japan. 418 00:20:22,438 --> 00:20:23,091 We did. 419 00:20:23,134 --> 00:20:23,918 Oh? 420 00:20:23,961 --> 00:20:25,746 They sent a 100 bucks. 421 00:20:25,789 --> 00:20:27,008 Mr. Smart! 422 00:20:27,051 --> 00:20:28,618 I'll be with you in a minute, Beamish. 423 00:20:28,662 --> 00:20:29,880 13, find Hottentot. 424 00:20:34,711 --> 00:20:37,410 Mr. Smart, the Hottentot file is missing. 425 00:20:37,453 --> 00:20:39,673 Now is not the time to panic, Beamish. 426 00:20:39,716 --> 00:20:41,022 It's probably been misfiled. 427 00:20:41,065 --> 00:20:42,676 Look under M for Marcus. 428 00:20:42,719 --> 00:20:44,547 Right, right. 429 00:20:44,591 --> 00:20:46,027 No, no, it's not here. 430 00:20:46,070 --> 00:20:47,115 Now we panic. 431 00:20:47,158 --> 00:20:48,595 What are we? 432 00:20:48,638 --> 00:20:49,726 Oh, here it is. 433 00:20:51,206 --> 00:20:55,166 Sorry, I lost my cool, I was sure it was taken by KAOS. 434 00:20:56,603 --> 00:20:58,692 Mr. Smart, do you have any idea who the double agent 435 00:20:58,735 --> 00:21:00,215 could be? 436 00:21:00,259 --> 00:21:02,696 Well, Beamish, I'm sorry to say it could be anybody. 437 00:21:02,739 --> 00:21:05,699 It could be the commander, it could be me, it could be you. 438 00:21:05,742 --> 00:21:06,917 Don't move. 439 00:21:06,961 --> 00:21:08,528 It could be him. 440 00:21:08,571 --> 00:21:09,572 Turn around, face the files, put your hands on top, 441 00:21:09,616 --> 00:21:10,878 and spread your legs. 442 00:21:10,921 --> 00:21:13,924 Turn around and face the file, put your hand. 443 00:21:13,968 --> 00:21:15,839 What was that part about the legs? 444 00:21:15,883 --> 00:21:17,101 Move! 445 00:21:17,145 --> 00:21:18,538 Move, don't move, make up your mind. 446 00:21:18,581 --> 00:21:20,801 I got another job, fella. 447 00:21:20,844 --> 00:21:22,237 Okay, by the numbers this time, 448 00:21:22,281 --> 00:21:23,934 or you're dead meat, Smart. 449 00:21:23,978 --> 00:21:26,546 Turn and face the files, put your hands on top, 450 00:21:26,589 --> 00:21:27,982 spread your legs. 451 00:21:31,290 --> 00:21:32,508 Hi-yah! 452 00:21:34,597 --> 00:21:36,599 Where's the Hottentot file? 453 00:21:36,643 --> 00:21:37,861 Right this way. 454 00:22:02,321 --> 00:22:03,278 Goodnight. 455 00:22:07,804 --> 00:22:09,589 Mr. Smart, you know who that is? 456 00:22:09,632 --> 00:22:10,677 No, who? 457 00:22:10,720 --> 00:22:12,635 Bronski, KAOS's number one killer. 458 00:22:12,679 --> 00:22:13,593 Number one? 459 00:22:13,636 --> 00:22:15,159 I thought he was number nine. 460 00:22:15,203 --> 00:22:17,553 No, the new ratings are out, and he went right to the top. 461 00:22:17,597 --> 00:22:18,728 Well, that's ridiculous. 462 00:22:18,772 --> 00:22:21,252 KAOS has better killers than Bronski. 463 00:22:21,296 --> 00:22:22,602 It's not how good you are, 464 00:22:22,645 --> 00:22:24,212 it's where you stand in the ratings. 465 00:22:25,822 --> 00:22:30,000 How can we tell our leader, our new leader, 466 00:22:30,044 --> 00:22:33,613 that we did not the Hottentot papers? 467 00:22:33,656 --> 00:22:35,136 He will want to know what happened. 468 00:22:35,179 --> 00:22:37,617 I will want to know what happened. 469 00:22:37,660 --> 00:22:40,184 In 10 words or less, what happened? 470 00:22:40,228 --> 00:22:41,882 I don't know. 471 00:22:41,925 --> 00:22:46,103 Well, at least that's less than 10 words, you nitwit! 472 00:22:47,278 --> 00:22:49,063 Perhaps he can tell us, Siegfried. 473 00:22:49,106 --> 00:22:52,066 Well, why don't you bring him in? 474 00:22:56,723 --> 00:22:57,985 All right, Major, what happened? 475 00:22:58,028 --> 00:23:00,988 Why do we not have the Hottentot papers? 476 00:23:01,031 --> 00:23:02,163 Uh. 477 00:23:02,206 --> 00:23:03,991 We don't uh here! 478 00:23:05,993 --> 00:23:07,690 Siegfried's office. 479 00:23:07,734 --> 00:23:08,778 Yes, sir! 480 00:23:10,127 --> 00:23:11,781 Siegfried, it's our new leader. 481 00:23:11,825 --> 00:23:14,349 He wants to know what happened. 482 00:23:14,393 --> 00:23:15,306 Uh. 483 00:23:15,350 --> 00:23:16,873 We don't uh here! 484 00:23:16,917 --> 00:23:18,353 - What happened? - That is precisely what we 485 00:23:18,397 --> 00:23:20,181 are trying to find out, sir. 486 00:23:20,224 --> 00:23:23,140 - Find out. - Yeah, the major is here now. 487 00:23:23,184 --> 00:23:25,621 The agent I sent to get the papers was an incompetent. 488 00:23:25,665 --> 00:23:26,579 Do you hear that, sir? 489 00:23:26,622 --> 00:23:27,710 Yes, what happened? 490 00:23:27,754 --> 00:23:28,668 Yeah. 491 00:23:28,711 --> 00:23:30,713 Did Control capture our agent. 492 00:23:30,757 --> 00:23:31,758 Yes. 493 00:23:31,801 --> 00:23:33,107 Ah, then he'll talk. 494 00:23:33,150 --> 00:23:36,240 No, he won't, I killed him 20 minutes ago. 495 00:23:36,284 --> 00:23:38,329 Did you hear the good news, sir? 496 00:23:38,373 --> 00:23:39,853 - Smart. - Smart? 497 00:23:39,896 --> 00:23:42,682 Don't worry about Maxwell Smart, we will take care of him. 498 00:23:42,725 --> 00:23:44,074 You better not fail. 499 00:23:44,118 --> 00:23:45,685 We will not fail this time. 500 00:23:45,728 --> 00:23:47,382 We are finished with blunders and bloops. 501 00:23:47,426 --> 00:23:48,905 I hope so, 502 00:23:48,949 --> 00:23:50,341 for your sake, carry on. 503 00:23:55,129 --> 00:23:56,043 Shtarker. 504 00:23:56,086 --> 00:23:57,218 Yeah? 505 00:23:57,261 --> 00:23:59,394 Oh, I need something for my stomach. 506 00:23:59,438 --> 00:24:01,222 Cummerbund? 507 00:24:01,265 --> 00:24:03,267 Idiot, for the inside. 508 00:24:05,095 --> 00:24:07,663 Siegfried, I've never seen you so upset. 509 00:24:07,707 --> 00:24:11,711 I'm two years away from retiring, and out of nowhere 510 00:24:11,754 --> 00:24:14,844 KAOS is taken over by a corporate trader, a crazy man. 511 00:24:14,888 --> 00:24:16,280 Oh, the pressure, 512 00:24:16,324 --> 00:24:18,413 you have no idea what the pressure is like. 513 00:24:18,457 --> 00:24:21,068 I've got headaches, high blood pressure, insomnia. 514 00:24:21,111 --> 00:24:24,027 I'm a capitalist casualty, a merger victim. 515 00:24:24,071 --> 00:24:25,899 You don't have to worry about Smart. 516 00:24:25,942 --> 00:24:26,726 Why not? 517 00:24:26,769 --> 00:24:27,814 He's as good as dead. 518 00:24:27,857 --> 00:24:29,729 What makes you so sure? 519 00:24:29,772 --> 00:24:31,208 The more you know about a man, 520 00:24:31,252 --> 00:24:32,688 the easier it is to kill him. 521 00:24:32,732 --> 00:24:35,212 The material you gave me to read was invaluable. 522 00:24:35,256 --> 00:24:37,084 Where'd you get such a complete biography? 523 00:24:37,127 --> 00:24:39,173 That is no concern of yours. 524 00:24:39,216 --> 00:24:41,741 Well, my compliments to whoever wrote it. 525 00:24:41,784 --> 00:24:43,960 I know everything there is to know about smart, 526 00:24:44,004 --> 00:24:46,876 his way of life, his patterns, his habits. 527 00:24:46,920 --> 00:24:49,226 If I choose, I can become like him, act like him, 528 00:24:49,270 --> 00:24:50,750 even think like him. 529 00:24:50,793 --> 00:24:53,100 That I would not advice. 530 00:24:53,143 --> 00:24:56,843 What I would advise is for you to kill Maxwell Smart 531 00:24:56,886 --> 00:24:59,280 before he puts his team together. 532 00:24:59,323 --> 00:25:00,673 You don't have to worry about that. 533 00:25:00,716 --> 00:25:02,283 If he does that, I'll kill 'em all. 534 00:25:02,326 --> 00:25:03,502 All right, but remember, 535 00:25:03,545 --> 00:25:06,896 make sure you give us the group rate, yeah? 536 00:25:06,940 --> 00:25:07,810 Good. 537 00:25:26,742 --> 00:25:27,395 Max! 538 00:25:34,750 --> 00:25:36,143 Max, great to see you again. 539 00:25:36,186 --> 00:25:37,100 Are you okay? 540 00:25:37,144 --> 00:25:38,319 Well, I think so, Hymie. 541 00:25:38,362 --> 00:25:39,755 What was that all about? 542 00:25:39,799 --> 00:25:41,191 You forgot, the last time we were together, 543 00:25:41,235 --> 00:25:43,803 you said that I hope we run into each other real soon. 544 00:25:43,846 --> 00:25:46,762 Oh, Hymie, you robots always take everything so literally. 545 00:25:46,806 --> 00:25:49,069 That was just an idiomatic expression. 546 00:25:49,112 --> 00:25:51,419 I'm not familiar with that phrase, Max. 547 00:25:51,462 --> 00:25:52,289 Skip it. 548 00:25:53,247 --> 00:25:54,770 Stop it, Hymie. 549 00:25:54,814 --> 00:25:57,033 Sometimes you could drive a person up a wall. 550 00:25:57,077 --> 00:25:58,905 Don't do it, Hymie! 551 00:25:58,948 --> 00:26:01,124 We need you to come back to work for Control. 552 00:26:01,168 --> 00:26:02,909 Sure, when you need me you come around, 553 00:26:02,952 --> 00:26:04,519 otherwise I never hear from you. 554 00:26:04,563 --> 00:26:07,130 It really hurts, Max, I'm not made of stone, you know? 555 00:26:07,174 --> 00:26:08,741 I'm sorry, Hymie. 556 00:26:08,784 --> 00:26:10,307 Sorry, you always say you're sorry. 557 00:26:10,351 --> 00:26:12,005 You never write, you never call. 558 00:26:12,048 --> 00:26:13,528 You missed all my birthdays. 559 00:26:13,572 --> 00:26:15,748 I'm never invited to your club and you know why? 560 00:26:15,791 --> 00:26:18,533 I'll tell you why, because they don't allow my kind in there 561 00:26:18,577 --> 00:26:19,447 that's why. 562 00:26:19,490 --> 00:26:20,491 That's ridiculous, Hymie. 563 00:26:20,535 --> 00:26:22,755 We have a cybernaut in my club. 564 00:26:22,798 --> 00:26:24,452 Sure, token robot. 565 00:26:24,495 --> 00:26:26,323 What's this all about, Max? 566 00:26:26,367 --> 00:26:27,934 KAOS is back in business. 567 00:26:27,977 --> 00:26:31,328 KAOS, Max, I'd really love to work with you again, 568 00:26:31,372 --> 00:26:33,287 but I'm not programmed for spying anymore. 569 00:26:33,330 --> 00:26:34,897 I only do crashes. 570 00:26:34,941 --> 00:26:36,769 Well, I'm sure we can work something out 571 00:26:36,812 --> 00:26:38,335 if we just put our heads together. 572 00:26:38,379 --> 00:26:40,860 No! 573 00:26:40,903 --> 00:26:43,776 Hymie, I think we'd be a lot less conspicuous 574 00:26:43,819 --> 00:26:45,516 if you'd get in the car. 575 00:26:45,560 --> 00:26:48,476 If I get in the car, I have to crash it. 576 00:26:48,519 --> 00:26:50,391 Well, what do ya think? 577 00:26:50,434 --> 00:26:52,088 Nothing in this dossier to indicate 578 00:26:52,132 --> 00:26:54,090 why Hottentot would defect. 579 00:26:54,134 --> 00:26:55,526 That's what I thought. 580 00:26:55,570 --> 00:26:56,919 Do you think there's something about him we don't know? 581 00:26:56,963 --> 00:26:59,269 I doubt it, the man was a loner. 582 00:26:59,313 --> 00:27:00,706 He lived for his work. 583 00:27:00,749 --> 00:27:03,883 The only person he was close to was another scientist. 584 00:27:03,926 --> 00:27:05,145 I missed that, who? 585 00:27:05,188 --> 00:27:06,407 Dr. Denton. 586 00:27:06,450 --> 00:27:08,496 I think we're there, Max. 587 00:27:10,629 --> 00:27:14,023 Looks like we've got company. 588 00:27:14,067 --> 00:27:15,503 Smart is stopping. 589 00:27:15,546 --> 00:27:16,852 Should I park? 590 00:27:16,896 --> 00:27:18,071 Wait a minute. 591 00:27:19,942 --> 00:27:21,204 He isn't. 592 00:27:21,248 --> 00:27:23,424 He just passed up a parking space. 593 00:27:23,467 --> 00:27:25,339 He's going from meter to meter. 594 00:27:25,382 --> 00:27:26,253 Why? 595 00:27:26,296 --> 00:27:27,428 It's because he's cheap. 596 00:27:27,471 --> 00:27:30,605 He's looking for a meter with time on it. 597 00:27:32,651 --> 00:27:35,523 Now he's parking in a red zone. 598 00:28:09,470 --> 00:28:11,037 They headed for the old Control building. 599 00:28:11,080 --> 00:28:12,299 That's perfect. 600 00:28:12,342 --> 00:28:13,692 It's deserted, it's a great place to kill him. 601 00:28:13,735 --> 00:28:14,693 Yeah. 602 00:28:28,228 --> 00:28:29,751 Definitely trouble. 603 00:28:35,148 --> 00:28:36,715 I've gotta talk to 13. 604 00:28:36,758 --> 00:28:38,586 13, I tried to keep in touch with him, 605 00:28:38,629 --> 00:28:40,153 but he never returned my calls. 606 00:28:40,196 --> 00:28:41,676 I took his number out of my book. 607 00:28:41,720 --> 00:28:42,546 Stop! 608 00:28:45,724 --> 00:28:47,116 Hi, Max. 609 00:28:47,160 --> 00:28:49,466 Hey, it's great to be out and about again. 610 00:28:49,510 --> 00:28:50,990 What's up? 611 00:28:51,033 --> 00:28:52,731 We're being followed by a man in a black leather jacket 612 00:28:52,774 --> 00:28:54,515 with a mustache. 613 00:28:54,558 --> 00:28:56,212 Leave it to me, Max. 614 00:28:56,256 --> 00:28:57,692 I gotta get going. 615 00:28:57,736 --> 00:28:59,738 There's a colleague coming. 616 00:29:21,368 --> 00:29:22,586 Oh hi, Max. 617 00:29:22,630 --> 00:29:24,850 Don't tell me you forgot my egg salad sandwich. 618 00:29:24,893 --> 00:29:26,112 Hello, Larrabee. 619 00:29:26,155 --> 00:29:27,548 Hymie, glad to see ya. 620 00:29:27,591 --> 00:29:29,811 Hard to believe, you never call, you never write. 621 00:29:29,855 --> 00:29:30,812 Enough. 622 00:29:30,856 --> 00:29:33,467 Larrabee, what are you doing here? 623 00:29:33,510 --> 00:29:35,208 Watering my plants. 624 00:29:35,251 --> 00:29:36,687 Watering your plant? 625 00:29:36,731 --> 00:29:39,778 Larrabee, Control has been out of business for 15 years. 626 00:29:39,821 --> 00:29:41,214 I heard that rumor, too. 627 00:29:41,257 --> 00:29:42,737 What rumor? 628 00:29:42,781 --> 00:29:45,218 In 15 years, have you received one letter, one phone call? 629 00:29:45,261 --> 00:29:46,436 No, not one. 630 00:29:46,480 --> 00:29:47,742 Not you. 631 00:29:47,786 --> 00:29:51,790 In 15 years, have you had one visitor, one memo? 632 00:29:53,879 --> 00:29:55,663 I have a memo right here. 633 00:29:55,706 --> 00:29:57,404 I'll always cherish it. 634 00:29:57,447 --> 00:29:58,840 It's signed by the president. 635 00:29:58,884 --> 00:30:00,407 The president. 636 00:30:00,450 --> 00:30:02,365 To stay at your post until relieved, 637 00:30:02,409 --> 00:30:05,325 Richard M. Nixon, President. 638 00:30:05,368 --> 00:30:07,675 Max, are you my relief, 'cause I gotta get home. 639 00:30:07,718 --> 00:30:09,459 Larrabee, get your coat and your hat 640 00:30:09,503 --> 00:30:11,766 and let's get outta here. 641 00:30:11,810 --> 00:30:13,202 Where are we going? 642 00:30:13,246 --> 00:30:14,638 Control lab, I've gotta get Hymie reprogramed 643 00:30:14,682 --> 00:30:17,772 and pick up the latest equipment from Spy World. 644 00:30:17,816 --> 00:30:18,642 Come on. 645 00:30:20,470 --> 00:30:21,645 Well, what's our mission? 646 00:30:21,689 --> 00:30:23,647 To find Dr. Marcus Hottentot, he defected. 647 00:30:23,691 --> 00:30:25,824 I can't believe that, he'd never defect. 648 00:30:25,867 --> 00:30:27,260 You knew Marcus Hottentot? 649 00:30:27,303 --> 00:30:28,827 I didn't know him as Marcus Hottentot. 650 00:30:28,870 --> 00:30:30,263 I knew him as Marcia Hopkins. 651 00:30:30,306 --> 00:30:31,220 Marcia Hopkins? 652 00:30:31,264 --> 00:30:32,395 Changed his name. 653 00:30:32,439 --> 00:30:34,180 Sounds like he changed more than that. 654 00:30:34,223 --> 00:30:35,442 Where did you meet him? 655 00:30:35,485 --> 00:30:36,443 On a blind date, but I liked him, 656 00:30:36,486 --> 00:30:37,661 so I never said anything. 657 00:30:37,705 --> 00:30:39,838 Of course, KAOS blackmailed Hottentot. 658 00:30:39,881 --> 00:30:40,926 That's why he defected. 659 00:30:40,969 --> 00:30:42,710 I hope he's all right. 660 00:30:42,753 --> 00:30:46,322 He was a brilliant scientist and a great tango dancer. 661 00:31:23,272 --> 00:31:24,839 What was that? 662 00:31:24,883 --> 00:31:25,796 Beats me. 663 00:31:30,714 --> 00:31:33,326 I can only put him into the S mode. 664 00:31:33,369 --> 00:31:35,676 Exactly what does that mean? 665 00:31:35,719 --> 00:31:37,678 He'll be programed for spying, 666 00:31:37,721 --> 00:31:40,333 but he'll also want to ski and shop. 667 00:31:40,376 --> 00:31:43,814 Well, I'll keep him away from mountains and malls. 668 00:31:43,858 --> 00:31:45,512 Excuse me. 669 00:31:45,555 --> 00:31:48,515 Doctor, I have Agent Smart's cashmere combat jacket, 670 00:31:48,558 --> 00:31:50,952 his slacks, and his magnetic shoes. 671 00:31:50,996 --> 00:31:52,693 Magnetic shoes? 672 00:31:52,736 --> 00:31:56,784 Yes, this is essentially a defensive weapon. 673 00:31:56,827 --> 00:31:58,525 It attracts metal, 674 00:31:59,395 --> 00:32:01,006 or is attracted to it. 675 00:32:02,485 --> 00:32:03,269 Thanks. 676 00:32:03,312 --> 00:32:04,531 Here, Mr. Smart, 677 00:32:04,574 --> 00:32:06,968 slip into our latest technological triumph. 678 00:32:07,012 --> 00:32:10,363 Although this appears to be an ordinary sports coat, 679 00:32:10,406 --> 00:32:13,279 it is in reality a size 40 regular 680 00:32:13,322 --> 00:32:15,716 megabyte mainframe computer. 681 00:32:15,759 --> 00:32:18,762 The material in this jacket is composed of thousands 682 00:32:18,806 --> 00:32:21,983 of cotton microchips interwoven with silk spun 683 00:32:22,027 --> 00:32:25,856 from specially bred silkworms from the Silicon Valley. 684 00:32:25,900 --> 00:32:28,772 This jacket is user friendly and is compatible 685 00:32:28,816 --> 00:32:31,819 with almost any software shirt. 686 00:32:31,862 --> 00:32:35,649 The four buttons on each sleeve are computer keys, 687 00:32:35,692 --> 00:32:37,694 so you are virtually a walking arsenal 688 00:32:37,738 --> 00:32:39,044 and communications center. 689 00:32:39,087 --> 00:32:40,480 Are there any questions? 690 00:32:40,523 --> 00:32:43,004 Does it come in navy blue? 691 00:32:43,048 --> 00:32:45,572 Will Agents Hymie and Larrabee require jackets? 692 00:32:45,615 --> 00:32:46,921 Yes. 693 00:32:46,965 --> 00:32:48,314 Gentlemen, I'll need to take your measurement, 694 00:32:48,357 --> 00:32:51,056 waist, neck, sleeve, inseam, nostril. 695 00:32:51,099 --> 00:32:52,448 Nostril? 696 00:32:52,492 --> 00:32:53,928 We have perfected a mini camera 697 00:32:53,972 --> 00:32:56,409 that fits right into your nose. 698 00:32:56,452 --> 00:32:58,802 All you have to do is press this button on your jacket 699 00:32:58,846 --> 00:33:01,675 and your elbow will record what your nose sees. 700 00:33:01,718 --> 00:33:04,591 Well, wouldn't it be better if my nose recorded 701 00:33:04,634 --> 00:33:06,071 what my elbow sees? 702 00:33:06,114 --> 00:33:07,028 - No. - No? 703 00:33:07,072 --> 00:33:08,464 - No. - No. 704 00:33:08,508 --> 00:33:11,641 Simply because in your elbow-patch compartment 705 00:33:11,685 --> 00:33:13,034 there is a mini recorder 706 00:33:13,078 --> 00:33:14,949 plus everything else you might need, 707 00:33:14,993 --> 00:33:18,822 a mini magnet, a mini gun, and a mini condom. 708 00:33:18,866 --> 00:33:23,001 I'm curious, what use do we have for a mini magnet? 709 00:33:24,828 --> 00:33:27,570 All you need to know is in your mini manual, 710 00:33:27,614 --> 00:33:30,878 which is in your other elbow-patch compartment. 711 00:33:30,921 --> 00:33:32,793 How do we access the elbow patches? 712 00:33:32,836 --> 00:33:34,969 Just press the first cuff button. 713 00:33:35,013 --> 00:33:37,798 I thought the first cuff button worked my nostrils. 714 00:33:37,841 --> 00:33:39,800 No, that's the third cuff button. 715 00:33:39,843 --> 00:33:41,802 I thought that was the second cuff button. 716 00:33:41,845 --> 00:33:43,934 No, the second cuff button activates 717 00:33:43,978 --> 00:33:45,806 the cuff-button phone. 718 00:33:45,849 --> 00:33:48,852 When this button lights up, you have an incoming call. 719 00:33:48,896 --> 00:33:51,812 To answer, lift the cuff to your ear, 720 00:33:51,855 --> 00:33:53,683 talk into your lapel. 721 00:33:53,727 --> 00:33:57,513 Is that the left lapel or the right lapel? 722 00:33:57,557 --> 00:33:58,775 The right is for local calls, 723 00:33:58,819 --> 00:34:00,125 the left is for long distance. 724 00:34:00,168 --> 00:34:03,563 Long distance, do I get my choice of carriers? 725 00:34:03,606 --> 00:34:05,695 Excuse me, If you'd like these jackets 726 00:34:05,739 --> 00:34:08,481 to have cuff calling, I need to leave now, Dr. Denton. 727 00:34:08,524 --> 00:34:10,744 I wish I could join you. 728 00:34:10,787 --> 00:34:13,660 Dr. Denton, did you know Dr. Hottentot? 729 00:34:13,703 --> 00:34:16,706 Dr. Hottentot, um, not really, no. 730 00:34:17,881 --> 00:34:20,145 I believe he was a friend of my father's. 731 00:34:20,188 --> 00:34:21,581 So you knew him? 732 00:34:21,624 --> 00:34:23,670 Yes, I knew him, but I didn't know him well. 733 00:34:23,713 --> 00:34:26,499 Actually, I see very little of him. 734 00:34:26,542 --> 00:34:28,805 My super sensitized sonic sensor says 735 00:34:28,849 --> 00:34:31,025 you are not telling the truth. 736 00:34:31,069 --> 00:34:33,854 I should never have put you in the S mode. 737 00:34:33,897 --> 00:34:35,943 Of course you're right. 738 00:34:35,986 --> 00:34:37,684 I spoke to Marcus yesterday. 739 00:34:37,727 --> 00:34:39,860 He called me, he sounded desperate. 740 00:34:39,903 --> 00:34:41,514 Doc, do ya know where he is? 741 00:34:41,557 --> 00:34:42,993 No. 742 00:34:43,037 --> 00:34:44,604 Well, did he call you at home, or did he call you here? 743 00:34:44,647 --> 00:34:45,431 Here. 744 00:34:45,474 --> 00:34:46,214 Good. 745 00:34:46,258 --> 00:34:47,607 These are security phones, 746 00:34:47,650 --> 00:34:49,087 that means that they're monitored. 747 00:34:49,130 --> 00:34:49,957 Thanks, Doc. 748 00:34:50,000 --> 00:34:51,654 Okay, it's late, 749 00:34:51,698 --> 00:34:53,091 I want you guys to put a trace on that phone call, 750 00:34:53,134 --> 00:34:54,440 and get me in address. 751 00:34:54,483 --> 00:34:55,832 I'm gonna pick up 99. 752 00:34:55,876 --> 00:34:58,835 Then we're gonna put our team together and move out. 753 00:34:58,879 --> 00:35:00,794 We've got one week to save the world. 754 00:35:00,837 --> 00:35:03,536 Lucky it's this week, we set our clocks back on Sunday. 755 00:35:03,579 --> 00:35:05,799 That gives us an extra hour. 756 00:35:07,801 --> 00:35:09,542 Excuse me. 757 00:35:09,585 --> 00:35:10,934 My name is Maxwell Smart. 758 00:35:10,978 --> 00:35:13,633 I have a reservation for two, I'm meeting my wife. 759 00:35:13,676 --> 00:35:14,938 No, you're not. 760 00:35:14,982 --> 00:35:17,767 What do you mean no I'm not? 761 00:35:17,811 --> 00:35:18,942 Commander! 762 00:35:18,986 --> 00:35:20,553 You've got a day job. 763 00:35:20,596 --> 00:35:22,729 Smart, I have been trying to get you all day 764 00:35:22,772 --> 00:35:24,209 on your cuff phone. 765 00:35:24,252 --> 00:35:25,906 Yes, well, I didn't hear it, I mean, I didn't see it. 766 00:35:25,949 --> 00:35:27,777 I mean, I can't get used to these things. 767 00:35:27,821 --> 00:35:30,693 You cannot meet 99 for lunch. 768 00:35:30,737 --> 00:35:32,739 Current regulations prohibit spouses 769 00:35:32,782 --> 00:35:34,828 with dependent children from working together. 770 00:35:34,871 --> 00:35:37,874 But the twins aren't dependent, they're in college. 771 00:35:37,918 --> 00:35:39,180 I'm sorry, there's not a thing I can do. 772 00:35:39,224 --> 00:35:41,226 That is the president's decision. 773 00:35:41,269 --> 00:35:44,925 99 and I work so well together, we're a terrific team. 774 00:35:44,968 --> 00:35:47,710 Why, do you know that we were spy couple of the year 775 00:35:47,754 --> 00:35:48,972 in 1968? 776 00:35:49,016 --> 00:35:51,714 Out of the question, now go and find a phone, 777 00:35:51,758 --> 00:35:55,979 call your wife, and tell her you cannot meet her for lunch. 778 00:35:56,023 --> 00:35:57,764 She's already seen me. 779 00:35:57,807 --> 00:36:00,201 All right, have lunch with her, but do not, 780 00:36:00,245 --> 00:36:01,811 and I'm going to repeat this, 781 00:36:01,855 --> 00:36:04,684 do not tell her anything about your assignment. 782 00:36:04,727 --> 00:36:06,903 You're asking me to lie to 99. 783 00:36:06,947 --> 00:36:08,253 I've never lied to her in my life, 784 00:36:08,296 --> 00:36:10,255 and I'm not gonna start lying now. 785 00:36:10,298 --> 00:36:13,780 Smart, lying to 99 is the last thing I want you to do. 786 00:36:13,823 --> 00:36:15,956 - Good. - Try everything else first. 787 00:36:15,999 --> 00:36:18,785 Good afternoon, Monsieur, Mademoiselle. 788 00:36:24,007 --> 00:36:24,791 Hi. 789 00:36:24,834 --> 00:36:25,835 Hi. 790 00:36:25,879 --> 00:36:26,793 I'm sorry I'm late. 791 00:36:26,836 --> 00:36:28,142 Oh, I'm sorry I went ahead. 792 00:36:28,186 --> 00:36:30,100 I have to bring these pages back to Lisa by 2:30. 793 00:36:30,144 --> 00:36:31,537 Well, I'm not really hungry, 99, 794 00:36:31,580 --> 00:36:33,234 and it's almost 2:30 now. 795 00:36:33,278 --> 00:36:35,802 Oh, well, come walk with me and tell me how things went. 796 00:36:35,845 --> 00:36:37,804 On second thought, 99, 797 00:36:37,847 --> 00:36:40,546 I think I might order a little something to eat. 798 00:36:40,589 --> 00:36:43,288 I just had some sudden hunger pains. 799 00:36:43,331 --> 00:36:45,159 Max, that's a new jacket, I like it. 800 00:36:45,203 --> 00:36:46,552 Where'd you get it? 801 00:36:46,595 --> 00:36:48,815 The jacket, yes, well, you know me, 99, 802 00:36:48,858 --> 00:36:51,905 I never know where I get these things. 803 00:36:51,948 --> 00:36:54,168 Would Bellman's carry a jacket like this? 804 00:36:54,212 --> 00:36:55,082 Sure. 805 00:36:55,125 --> 00:36:56,257 Then that's where I got it. 806 00:36:56,301 --> 00:36:57,824 Max, come on, I can't wait any longer. 807 00:36:57,867 --> 00:36:58,738 Tell me what happened. 808 00:36:58,781 --> 00:37:00,696 Are you back with Control? 809 00:37:02,350 --> 00:37:04,918 Max, I can't hear you with the menu in front of your face. 810 00:37:04,961 --> 00:37:06,876 Have you been reactivated? 811 00:37:06,920 --> 00:37:08,008 Ah, the veal. 812 00:37:08,051 --> 00:37:09,749 Max, look at me. 813 00:37:09,792 --> 00:37:11,272 Tell me what happened. 814 00:37:11,316 --> 00:37:14,101 Well, 99, it wasn't exactly what you'd think. 815 00:37:14,144 --> 00:37:18,845 I mean, we didn't really, I mean, I never, they didn't. 816 00:37:18,888 --> 00:37:21,021 Could you say that a little more clearly? 817 00:37:21,064 --> 00:37:22,240 No. 818 00:37:22,283 --> 00:37:23,806 Max! 819 00:37:23,850 --> 00:37:25,199 Your cuff button is blinking. 820 00:37:25,243 --> 00:37:28,115 Ah, yes, that, well, that's just probably 821 00:37:28,158 --> 00:37:29,986 a reflection from the silver. 822 00:37:30,030 --> 00:37:31,640 Would you like to order something, sir? 823 00:37:31,684 --> 00:37:35,078 Would I ever, yes, indeed, yes, yes, yes. 824 00:37:36,166 --> 00:37:37,037 Shrimp cocktail. 825 00:37:37,080 --> 00:37:38,908 Shrimp cocktail. 826 00:37:38,952 --> 00:37:39,909 Smoked eel. 827 00:37:39,953 --> 00:37:42,869 Oh, smoked eel. 828 00:37:42,912 --> 00:37:43,739 Crab capellini. 829 00:37:43,783 --> 00:37:44,740 Capellini. 830 00:37:44,784 --> 00:37:46,133 Endive and watercress salad. 831 00:37:46,176 --> 00:37:47,656 Salad. 832 00:37:47,700 --> 00:37:48,962 Asparagus vinaigrette. 833 00:37:49,005 --> 00:37:50,877 Listen, 99, if you have some place to go, 834 00:37:50,920 --> 00:37:55,316 don't let me hold you up, because I plan to eat a lot. 835 00:37:55,360 --> 00:37:56,796 Clams on the half shell. 836 00:37:56,839 --> 00:37:57,710 Clams. 837 00:37:57,753 --> 00:37:59,712 Peppered brie and puff pastry. 838 00:37:59,755 --> 00:38:01,366 Would you come back in a moment, please? 839 00:38:01,409 --> 00:38:02,323 Certainly. 840 00:38:02,367 --> 00:38:03,803 Max, is something wrong? 841 00:38:03,846 --> 00:38:05,021 - No. - I'm gonna call Lisa 842 00:38:05,065 --> 00:38:06,327 and cancel my appointment. 843 00:38:06,371 --> 00:38:07,720 No, no, don't call Lisa. 844 00:38:07,763 --> 00:38:09,330 Everything is perfectly all right. 845 00:38:09,374 --> 00:38:11,114 No, I think I need to be here with you. 846 00:38:11,158 --> 00:38:13,073 No, you don't need to be here. 847 00:38:13,116 --> 00:38:15,684 You don't need to be here now, I mean. 848 00:38:15,728 --> 00:38:18,818 Later, you need to be here, I mean, later at home you need 849 00:38:18,861 --> 00:38:20,254 - to be with me. - Max, there's nothing here 850 00:38:20,298 --> 00:38:22,952 that I'm doing today that I can't do tomorrow. 851 00:38:22,996 --> 00:38:24,127 What's wrong? 852 00:38:26,826 --> 00:38:29,219 My love affair with Agent 12? 853 00:38:31,178 --> 00:38:34,747 I had only been at the agency a short time 854 00:38:34,790 --> 00:38:36,879 when he came into my life. 855 00:38:36,923 --> 00:38:38,316 Maybe I had better be going, Max. 856 00:38:38,359 --> 00:38:39,795 We'll talk at home, okay? 857 00:38:39,839 --> 00:38:42,015 99, how could you do such a thing? 858 00:38:42,058 --> 00:38:44,234 12 isn't even a romantic number. 859 00:38:44,278 --> 00:38:47,716 Oh, Max, it's so flattering that after all these years, 860 00:38:47,760 --> 00:38:49,370 you can still be jealous, 861 00:38:49,414 --> 00:38:51,938 and it's so tempting to take advantage of it, 862 00:38:51,981 --> 00:38:53,156 but I can't. 863 00:38:53,200 --> 00:38:55,942 Agent 12 was my mentor, and I did love him, 864 00:38:55,985 --> 00:38:57,857 but like a grandfather. 865 00:38:57,900 --> 00:38:59,424 Yours our somebody else's? 866 00:38:59,467 --> 00:39:00,947 My grandfather. 867 00:39:01,817 --> 00:39:03,036 Really? 868 00:39:03,079 --> 00:39:05,212 Oh, Max, I could never lie to you, 869 00:39:05,255 --> 00:39:08,128 anymore than you could lie to me. 870 00:39:08,171 --> 00:39:09,390 Now, shall we talk? 871 00:39:09,434 --> 00:39:12,785 Talk, yes, well, 99, this isn't the time 872 00:39:12,828 --> 00:39:13,786 or the place to talk. 873 00:39:13,829 --> 00:39:15,353 We can talk later at home. 874 00:39:15,396 --> 00:39:16,136 You're sure? 875 00:39:16,179 --> 00:39:16,963 Yes. 876 00:39:17,006 --> 00:39:18,443 Okay. 877 00:39:18,486 --> 00:39:19,357 Bye bye. 878 00:39:23,361 --> 00:39:26,799 What would you like first, sir? 879 00:39:37,026 --> 00:39:38,854 What a minute, what do you think you're doing? 880 00:39:38,898 --> 00:39:41,161 There's still a minute left on that parking meter. 881 00:39:41,204 --> 00:39:43,206 Instead of harassing innocent citizens, 882 00:39:43,250 --> 00:39:45,426 you should be out after the real criminals, 883 00:39:45,470 --> 00:39:47,472 the murderers, the killers, the arsonists. 884 00:39:47,515 --> 00:39:50,344 They're the ones who deserve parking tickets. 885 00:39:50,388 --> 00:39:53,173 I don't care, I'm gonna fight this! 886 00:39:53,216 --> 00:39:54,043 What? 887 00:39:54,914 --> 00:39:55,915 What? 888 00:39:55,958 --> 00:39:57,395 It's not a ticket! 889 00:39:59,048 --> 00:39:59,875 Oh. 890 00:40:03,792 --> 00:40:05,838 Meet Hymie at 661 K Street. 891 00:40:16,805 --> 00:40:17,980 Thanks, Hymie. 892 00:40:18,938 --> 00:40:20,461 I tried to reach you on your cuff phone, 893 00:40:20,505 --> 00:40:23,290 but you didn't answer, that's why the meter maid message. 894 00:40:23,333 --> 00:40:25,379 There are complications. 895 00:40:25,423 --> 00:40:27,903 The president wants to talk to Hottentot personally. 896 00:40:27,947 --> 00:40:30,166 He wants you to take him right to the White House. 897 00:40:30,210 --> 00:40:31,429 Where is he? 898 00:40:31,472 --> 00:40:34,170 He has a room in the first floor. 899 00:40:36,216 --> 00:40:37,957 He's in 108. 900 00:40:46,966 --> 00:40:48,315 I think he's in there. 901 00:40:48,358 --> 00:40:50,012 Dr. Hottentot, open the door. 902 00:40:50,056 --> 00:40:52,101 We know you're in there. 903 00:40:52,145 --> 00:40:54,452 Doctor, this is Maxwell Smart. 904 00:40:54,495 --> 00:40:57,498 If you don't open this door by the time I count to three, 905 00:40:57,542 --> 00:40:59,848 we're gonna kick the door down. 906 00:40:59,892 --> 00:41:01,850 Maybe we should call the landlady, Max. 907 00:41:01,894 --> 00:41:03,896 I don't think she can kick the door down. 908 00:41:03,939 --> 00:41:05,027 She might have a pass key. 909 00:41:05,071 --> 00:41:06,507 We don't have time for that. 910 00:41:06,551 --> 00:41:07,552 Ready? 911 00:41:07,595 --> 00:41:08,901 One, two, 912 00:41:08,944 --> 00:41:11,469 three. 913 00:41:15,298 --> 00:41:17,387 Dr. Hottentot, I presume. 914 00:41:18,954 --> 00:41:22,218 I don't expect forgiveness, I'm just glad it's over. 915 00:41:22,262 --> 00:41:23,872 It's not over, Doctor. 916 00:41:23,916 --> 00:41:25,918 Dr. Hottentot, you have to tell us 917 00:41:25,961 --> 00:41:27,441 who you gave the formula to. 918 00:41:27,485 --> 00:41:29,008 Well, his name is... 919 00:41:29,051 --> 00:41:29,878 Duck! 920 00:41:31,053 --> 00:41:32,577 Why did you do that? 921 00:41:32,620 --> 00:41:36,058 Because every time someone is about to reveal the name 922 00:41:36,102 --> 00:41:38,321 of a murderer or traitor, they get shot. 923 00:41:38,365 --> 00:41:39,584 Now, Dr. Hottentot, 924 00:41:39,627 --> 00:41:42,195 ya have to tell us who you gave the formula to. 925 00:41:42,238 --> 00:41:46,939 Well, his name is... 926 00:41:51,030 --> 00:41:53,511 He's not gonna make it, Max. 927 00:41:55,382 --> 00:41:57,950 Doc, who is the double agent? 928 00:42:00,561 --> 00:42:01,910 What did he say? 929 00:42:01,954 --> 00:42:04,609 He asked me to get my knee off his chest. 930 00:42:04,652 --> 00:42:07,525 Doc, the double agent, who is it? 931 00:42:07,568 --> 00:42:09,004 Cigarette. 932 00:42:09,048 --> 00:42:10,615 No, thank you, I quit. 933 00:42:10,658 --> 00:42:13,269 Who is the double agent? 934 00:42:13,313 --> 00:42:15,228 His name is not known 935 00:42:16,446 --> 00:42:17,622 - to me. - I can't hear ya, Doc, 936 00:42:17,665 --> 00:42:18,579 speak up. 937 00:42:18,623 --> 00:42:20,625 Max, why don't you record him? 938 00:42:20,668 --> 00:42:24,498 Look, Doc, I want you to look into my nostril 939 00:42:24,542 --> 00:42:26,544 and speak into my elbow. 940 00:42:29,459 --> 00:42:31,331 I put the formula... 941 00:42:31,374 --> 00:42:32,985 No, no, no, you believe this? 942 00:42:33,028 --> 00:42:34,987 The man is speaking into my nostril. 943 00:42:35,030 --> 00:42:37,598 I don't want you to speak into my nostril, I hate that. 944 00:42:37,642 --> 00:42:40,993 I want you to speak into my elbow. 945 00:42:41,036 --> 00:42:42,298 Sorry. 946 00:42:42,342 --> 00:42:45,432 I put the formula in an airport locker 947 00:42:45,475 --> 00:42:48,609 and they had the money in another locker. 948 00:42:48,653 --> 00:42:51,656 Doctor, did KAOS take you to their headquarters? 949 00:42:51,699 --> 00:42:53,658 No, I never saw anybody. 950 00:42:55,050 --> 00:42:56,661 Max, he's dying. 951 00:42:56,704 --> 00:42:58,184 Dying! 952 00:42:58,227 --> 00:43:01,013 Come on, Doc, give us a break, give us something! 953 00:43:01,056 --> 00:43:02,536 What happens if we find the machine? 954 00:43:02,580 --> 00:43:04,669 How do stop them from using it? 955 00:43:04,712 --> 00:43:07,715 Hamlet, Hamlet, and Spal-Spalding. 956 00:43:09,021 --> 00:43:11,414 Can't understand him. 957 00:43:11,458 --> 00:43:13,982 Cigarette, I need a cigarette. 958 00:43:14,026 --> 00:43:15,636 Will ya forget about the cigarettes, already? 959 00:43:15,680 --> 00:43:17,333 They could be hazardous to your health. 960 00:43:17,377 --> 00:43:18,639 They could kill ya. 961 00:43:20,467 --> 00:43:21,294 See? 962 00:43:22,861 --> 00:43:24,471 Gentlemen, what I'm about to say is top secret 963 00:43:24,514 --> 00:43:25,559 and confidential. 964 00:43:25,603 --> 00:43:26,821 Don't worry, Mr. President. 965 00:43:26,865 --> 00:43:29,215 Security's gone over every inch of this room. 966 00:43:29,258 --> 00:43:31,260 We are not bugged, we are not tapped. 967 00:43:31,304 --> 00:43:33,001 Feel free to speak, sir. 968 00:43:33,045 --> 00:43:36,396 Shouldn't we close the window? 969 00:43:37,484 --> 00:43:38,790 Up until three weeks ago, 970 00:43:38,833 --> 00:43:41,183 Hottentot was a forgotten scientist. 971 00:43:41,227 --> 00:43:43,272 Most of us working here didn't know him. 972 00:43:43,316 --> 00:43:44,534 When he perfected his formula, 973 00:43:44,578 --> 00:43:46,972 he became our best kept secret. 974 00:43:47,015 --> 00:43:50,018 Now, how did KAOS find out about him? 975 00:43:50,062 --> 00:43:53,021 Smart, did Hottentot say anything meaningful before he died? 976 00:43:53,065 --> 00:43:56,546 Well, Mr. President, he said something about Hamlet 977 00:43:56,590 --> 00:43:57,547 and Spalding. 978 00:43:57,591 --> 00:43:59,767 Did you record him, Smart? 979 00:43:59,811 --> 00:44:00,507 Yes. 980 00:44:00,550 --> 00:44:01,682 Good, get me the tape, 981 00:44:01,726 --> 00:44:03,771 and I'll have the crypto boys slow it down 982 00:44:03,815 --> 00:44:05,468 and see if they can make something out of it. 983 00:44:05,512 --> 00:44:07,775 We've got to double our efforts to find the mole 984 00:44:07,819 --> 00:44:09,472 or quadruple them if necessary. 985 00:44:09,516 --> 00:44:12,475 Mr. President, I know how you feel 986 00:44:12,519 --> 00:44:15,957 and how you disapprove of spouses working together, 987 00:44:16,001 --> 00:44:20,527 but I do feel that my wife would be a great help on my team. 988 00:44:20,570 --> 00:44:22,007 Well, I'm sure she would, Smart, 989 00:44:22,050 --> 00:44:24,313 but I'm categorically opposed to couples working together 990 00:44:24,357 --> 00:44:26,881 on a mission as dangerous as this. 991 00:44:28,883 --> 00:44:31,538 Sir, this just arrived. 992 00:44:31,581 --> 00:44:33,888 I knew it was high priority. 993 00:44:35,281 --> 00:44:37,239 This is a response to my request for an emergency meeting 994 00:44:37,283 --> 00:44:38,632 with our allies. 995 00:44:41,461 --> 00:44:43,071 Something wrong, Mr. President? 996 00:44:43,115 --> 00:44:44,246 Something wrong? 997 00:44:44,290 --> 00:44:45,639 Read this! 998 00:44:45,683 --> 00:44:48,555 They don't believe that KAOS has a weather machine. 999 00:44:48,598 --> 00:44:51,036 Smart, we're alone in this. 1000 00:44:51,079 --> 00:44:53,386 I'm counting on you more than ever. 1001 00:44:53,429 --> 00:44:55,605 Believe me, it's not easy to send a man off on a mission 1002 00:44:55,649 --> 00:44:57,825 which some of my cabinet members characterize 1003 00:44:57,869 --> 00:44:59,435 as one of certain death. 1004 00:44:59,479 --> 00:45:00,915 Certain death? 1005 00:45:00,959 --> 00:45:04,310 Yes, but in my opinion, I have no other choice. 1006 00:45:04,353 --> 00:45:07,313 Could we get a second opinion? 1007 00:45:33,426 --> 00:45:37,430 Before going to sleep, Smart usually has a midnight snack. 1008 00:45:37,473 --> 00:45:39,954 I want you to kill him in the kitchen. 1009 00:45:58,712 --> 00:45:59,539 Max? 1010 00:46:00,583 --> 00:46:01,628 Go to sleep, 99. 1011 00:46:01,671 --> 00:46:02,455 I can't. 1012 00:46:02,498 --> 00:46:03,499 Why not? 1013 00:46:03,543 --> 00:46:04,544 You're sitting on me. 1014 00:46:04,587 --> 00:46:05,414 Oh. 1015 00:46:08,374 --> 00:46:10,463 Max, how come you're home so late? 1016 00:46:10,506 --> 00:46:13,466 Late, yes, well, I had to go to a ship christening. 1017 00:46:13,509 --> 00:46:15,163 At 2:30 in the morning? 1018 00:46:15,207 --> 00:46:17,513 The Navy has a very low budget, 1019 00:46:17,557 --> 00:46:20,342 and they don't like a lot of people standing around 1020 00:46:20,386 --> 00:46:23,563 while they're using that cheap champagne. 1021 00:46:25,565 --> 00:46:27,697 Max, tell me about today. 1022 00:46:27,741 --> 00:46:29,699 Were you reactivated? 1023 00:46:29,743 --> 00:46:30,526 No. 1024 00:46:30,570 --> 00:46:33,051 Oh, Max, I'm so sorry. 1025 00:46:33,094 --> 00:46:35,009 Oh, you knew at lunch, didn't you? 1026 00:46:35,053 --> 00:46:36,445 Yes. 1027 00:46:36,489 --> 00:46:38,970 You must be so disappointed. 1028 00:46:39,013 --> 00:46:41,363 But then why did the agency call you? 1029 00:46:41,407 --> 00:46:44,976 Look, 99, I have had a very tough day. 1030 00:46:45,019 --> 00:46:48,240 I mean, I am so tired, I'm ready to collapse. 1031 00:46:48,283 --> 00:46:50,068 Why don't we talk about it tomorrow 1032 00:46:50,111 --> 00:46:52,026 and let me get a little sleep right now? 1033 00:46:52,070 --> 00:46:53,549 Could you do me a favor and open the window? 1034 00:46:53,593 --> 00:46:54,550 It's stuffy in here. 1035 00:46:54,594 --> 00:46:55,508 Oh, sure. 1036 00:46:57,553 --> 00:46:59,425 Wouldn't you feel better if we talked about it, Max? 1037 00:46:59,468 --> 00:47:02,558 No, no, 99, I don't wanna talk about it. 1038 00:47:02,602 --> 00:47:05,648 I just wanna get a good night's sleep 1039 00:47:06,606 --> 00:47:09,565 and fix myself a nice cup of hot cocoa. 1040 00:47:09,609 --> 00:47:11,263 I thought you said you were exhausted. 1041 00:47:11,306 --> 00:47:13,526 Yes, well, I am exhausted, 99, 1042 00:47:13,569 --> 00:47:15,702 but when I get exhausted I get overtired, 1043 00:47:15,745 --> 00:47:17,573 and I just can't get to sleep 1044 00:47:17,617 --> 00:47:20,489 without a cup of nice, hot cocoa. 1045 00:47:20,533 --> 00:47:21,534 But don't you worry about it, 1046 00:47:21,577 --> 00:47:23,144 because I'm gonna close the door, 1047 00:47:23,188 --> 00:47:25,407 so you can't hear me making it. 1048 00:47:25,451 --> 00:47:27,409 Max, why don't you just count sheep? 1049 00:47:27,453 --> 00:47:30,108 You remember what happened the last time you made cocoa? 1050 00:47:30,151 --> 00:47:34,199 Yes, well, we were gonna redo the kitchen anyway, 99. 1051 00:47:34,242 --> 00:47:35,504 Well, be careful, hmm? 1052 00:47:37,637 --> 00:47:38,464 I will. 1053 00:48:05,665 --> 00:48:07,058 Max! 1054 00:48:07,101 --> 00:48:09,625 It's all right, 99, I just dropped the cocoa. 1055 00:48:09,669 --> 00:48:10,800 Go back to sleep. 1056 00:48:13,325 --> 00:48:14,500 - Shh! - What's going on down there? 1057 00:48:14,543 --> 00:48:16,676 I just dropped it again. 1058 00:48:47,533 --> 00:48:49,578 Listen you've got to be quiet. 1059 00:48:49,622 --> 00:48:52,668 You don't happen to have a silencer on you, do ya? 1060 00:49:25,223 --> 00:49:26,180 Wait a minute! 1061 00:49:26,224 --> 00:49:27,094 Do me a favor. 1062 00:49:27,138 --> 00:49:28,356 What? 1063 00:49:28,400 --> 00:49:29,531 Hold these while I read ya your rights. 1064 00:49:30,489 --> 00:49:31,359 Max, are you all right? 1065 00:49:31,403 --> 00:49:32,317 Yes. 1066 00:49:32,360 --> 00:49:32,882 You've been reactivated. 1067 00:49:32,926 --> 00:49:34,536 Oh, yes, 1068 00:49:34,580 --> 00:49:36,190 I'm so glad I don't have to lie to you anymore, 99. 1069 00:49:36,234 --> 00:49:37,626 I can finally tell ya the truth. 1070 00:49:37,670 --> 00:49:38,497 What is the truth, Max? 1071 00:49:38,540 --> 00:49:40,194 I can't tell you that, 99. 1072 00:49:40,238 --> 00:49:41,543 It's a secret mission? 1073 00:49:42,588 --> 00:49:44,111 Max, he's getting away! 1074 00:49:44,155 --> 00:49:45,895 Well, what do you want me to do, 99? 1075 00:49:45,939 --> 00:49:47,201 Sorry, Max. 1076 00:49:50,770 --> 00:49:52,554 Max, was that man from KAOS? 1077 00:49:52,598 --> 00:49:53,903 How did you know that, 99? 1078 00:49:53,947 --> 00:49:55,209 Remember Grubnik? 1079 00:49:55,253 --> 00:49:57,385 Of course, Grubnik the spoiler. 1080 00:49:57,429 --> 00:50:00,649 Right, in 1969, he was traded by KAOS to thrush 1081 00:50:00,693 --> 00:50:03,565 for a rookie killer and two minor league muggers. 1082 00:50:03,609 --> 00:50:06,177 That man was Vedermeyer, one of the muggers. 1083 00:50:06,220 --> 00:50:09,223 Of course, I should've remembered his clammy hands. 1084 00:50:09,267 --> 00:50:10,572 What's this all about, Max? 1085 00:50:10,616 --> 00:50:12,139 Oh, I can't tell ya that, 99. 1086 00:50:12,183 --> 00:50:14,794 I was sworn to secrecy by the president himself. 1087 00:50:14,837 --> 00:50:16,230 You met the president? 1088 00:50:16,274 --> 00:50:17,492 What's he like? 1089 00:50:17,536 --> 00:50:18,493 Everything you'd expect him to be. 1090 00:50:18,537 --> 00:50:20,930 Oh, I'm sorry to hear that. 1091 00:50:26,632 --> 00:50:27,459 KAOS. 1092 00:50:28,634 --> 00:50:29,504 Billions. 1093 00:50:29,548 --> 00:50:30,462 Max. 1094 00:50:30,505 --> 00:50:32,246 Hottentot. 1095 00:50:32,290 --> 00:50:33,465 - Max, Max, Max! - Hottentot. 1096 00:50:33,508 --> 00:50:34,683 - Huh, what? - Wake up! 1097 00:50:34,727 --> 00:50:37,251 You're spouting classified information. 1098 00:50:37,295 --> 00:50:38,687 Oh, what did I say? 1099 00:50:38,731 --> 00:50:40,602 You mentioned KAOS and then you said something about 1100 00:50:40,646 --> 00:50:42,604 billions of dollars. 1101 00:50:42,648 --> 00:50:44,519 Oh, Max, until you're off this case, 1102 00:50:44,563 --> 00:50:47,435 I think maybe it's better I sleep in another bedroom. 1103 00:50:47,479 --> 00:50:50,177 Oh, in that case, I'm off this case right now. 1104 00:50:50,221 --> 00:50:51,396 Oh, Max. 1105 00:50:51,439 --> 00:50:53,702 Did I say anything else? 1106 00:50:53,746 --> 00:50:56,618 Now that I think of it, yes, and it concerns me, Max, 1107 00:50:56,662 --> 00:50:58,925 - and my book... - Wait, 99, if we're gonna 1108 00:50:58,968 --> 00:51:01,449 discuss a top-secret case, we're going to have to do it 1109 00:51:01,493 --> 00:51:03,799 under the cone of silence. 1110 00:51:03,843 --> 00:51:04,887 Right, Max. 1111 00:51:11,546 --> 00:51:13,940 You mentioned Doctor, sorry. 1112 00:51:18,510 --> 00:51:20,990 You mentioned Dr. Hottentot and his weather machine. 1113 00:51:21,034 --> 00:51:23,993 Is that still classified information? 1114 00:51:24,037 --> 00:51:25,386 What? 1115 00:51:25,430 --> 00:51:27,606 I wrote about Dr. Hottentot in my book. 1116 00:51:27,649 --> 00:51:29,825 Now, maybe what I'm thinking is farfetched, Max, 1117 00:51:29,869 --> 00:51:32,828 but there could be a tie-in between KAOS, the book company, 1118 00:51:32,872 --> 00:51:33,873 you, and me. 1119 00:51:35,309 --> 00:51:38,486 You want me to tie you up at the book company? 1120 00:51:38,530 --> 00:51:40,619 In fact, the more I think about it, Max, 1121 00:51:42,751 --> 00:51:45,406 KAOS may have a contact at the book company. 1122 00:51:45,450 --> 00:51:46,886 KAOS what? 1123 00:51:46,929 --> 00:51:48,801 Max, there's something wrong with the cone of silence. 1124 00:51:48,844 --> 00:51:50,324 Forget that, 99, 1125 00:51:50,368 --> 00:51:52,326 something's wrong with the cone of silence. 1126 00:51:52,370 --> 00:51:53,240 What? 1127 00:51:53,284 --> 00:51:54,589 What? 1128 00:51:58,593 --> 00:51:59,986 How did you do that? 1129 00:52:00,029 --> 00:52:02,858 Max, what I'm trying to tell you is I may have given 1130 00:52:02,902 --> 00:52:07,080 classified information to someone at the book company who, 1131 00:52:08,951 --> 00:52:11,563 Max, your cuff button is flashing. 1132 00:52:11,606 --> 00:52:14,914 Well, just pick up the sleeve and talk into the lapel. 1133 00:52:14,957 --> 00:52:16,307 Which lapel? 1134 00:52:16,350 --> 00:52:18,613 It's okay, forget it, I'll get it. 1135 00:52:18,657 --> 00:52:19,484 Okay. 1136 00:52:23,705 --> 00:52:24,750 Hello, hello? 1137 00:52:25,707 --> 00:52:26,795 I think I'm on to something. 1138 00:52:27,796 --> 00:52:30,059 Can you meet me, Mr. Smart? 1139 00:52:30,103 --> 00:52:31,060 Where? 1140 00:52:31,104 --> 00:52:32,714 In the agency parking lot. 1141 00:52:32,758 --> 00:52:34,629 Could you come quickly? 1142 00:52:34,673 --> 00:52:35,674 I'm on my way. 1143 00:52:35,717 --> 00:52:36,762 Thank you. 1144 00:52:40,505 --> 00:52:42,463 That was Beamish, he's one of the men on my team. 1145 00:52:42,507 --> 00:52:43,682 I have to meet him in the parking lot. 1146 00:52:43,725 --> 00:52:44,944 I'm going with you, Max. 1147 00:52:44,987 --> 00:52:46,380 No, that's out of the question, 99. 1148 00:52:46,424 --> 00:52:47,686 This is a secret mission. 1149 00:52:47,729 --> 00:52:48,774 Was a secret mission. 1150 00:52:48,817 --> 00:52:50,645 Max, it's much easier to work with you 1151 00:52:50,689 --> 00:52:52,647 than it is to stay home and worry about you. 1152 00:52:52,691 --> 00:52:54,910 I'm sorry, 99, but it's out of the question. 1153 00:52:54,954 --> 00:52:56,912 It's too dangerous, it's too tricky. 1154 00:52:56,956 --> 00:52:59,393 Now, there is nothing you can say or do 1155 00:52:59,437 --> 00:53:01,047 that will make me change my mind. 1156 00:53:01,090 --> 00:53:03,571 That's it, it's over, finished. 1157 00:53:03,615 --> 00:53:05,704 But, Max, I want to. 1158 00:53:05,747 --> 00:53:07,358 Okay. 1159 00:53:07,401 --> 00:53:10,926 Besides, two karate chops are better than one. 1160 00:53:30,729 --> 00:53:32,600 I don't see Beamish anywhere. 1161 00:53:32,644 --> 00:53:34,123 Do you think it could be a trap, Max? 1162 00:53:35,734 --> 00:53:37,605 That's a distinct possibility. 1163 00:53:37,649 --> 00:53:38,998 What do we do now, Max? 1164 00:53:39,041 --> 00:53:40,434 Don't shoot! 1165 00:53:40,478 --> 00:53:41,435 Max, what are you doing? 1166 00:53:41,479 --> 00:53:42,697 He'll kill you. 1167 00:53:42,741 --> 00:53:46,440 I'm coming out with my hands up and my foot. 1168 00:53:49,878 --> 00:53:50,966 Max! 1169 00:53:51,010 --> 00:53:53,447 You've got his gun. 1170 00:53:53,491 --> 00:53:54,796 And his watch, 1171 00:53:54,840 --> 00:53:56,145 and two fillings. 1172 00:53:56,189 --> 00:53:58,060 Max, there he is! 1173 00:54:14,729 --> 00:54:15,904 Freeze! 1174 00:54:50,199 --> 00:54:51,200 Max, are you all right? 1175 00:54:51,244 --> 00:54:52,680 Yes, I'm just frustrated. 1176 00:54:52,724 --> 00:54:53,638 I had him right in my hands. 1177 00:54:53,681 --> 00:54:55,074 How did he get away? 1178 00:54:55,117 --> 00:54:57,685 By the seat of his pants, KAOS strip slacks. 1179 00:54:57,729 --> 00:55:00,688 Oh, Max, they're a rip off of Control's ejecto-pants. 1180 00:55:00,732 --> 00:55:02,690 And probably half the price. 1181 00:55:02,734 --> 00:55:04,039 Did you get a look at his face? 1182 00:55:04,083 --> 00:55:05,171 Well, if that was his face, 1183 00:55:05,214 --> 00:55:07,086 he has a huge cleft in his chin. 1184 00:55:07,129 --> 00:55:08,435 Anyway, I know who it is, 99. 1185 00:55:08,479 --> 00:55:10,089 It's the commander's right-hand man 1186 00:55:10,132 --> 00:55:11,699 Major Preston Waterhouse. 1187 00:55:11,743 --> 00:55:13,222 How can you be sure? 1188 00:55:13,266 --> 00:55:14,572 Very simple, 99, 1189 00:55:14,615 --> 00:55:16,704 these pants tell me everything that I need to know. 1190 00:55:16,748 --> 00:55:18,532 First of all, look at the length, extra long. 1191 00:55:18,576 --> 00:55:21,100 Major Waterhouse is over six feet tall. 1192 00:55:21,143 --> 00:55:22,884 Next, the material, heavy wool, 1193 00:55:22,928 --> 00:55:24,799 typical choice of an Army man, 1194 00:55:24,843 --> 00:55:26,845 and finally, there's the label, 1195 00:55:26,888 --> 00:55:29,021 made for Preston Waterhouse. 1196 00:55:29,064 --> 00:55:30,065 Oh. 1197 00:55:37,856 --> 00:55:41,729 The Major's RV is the third one on the left. 1198 00:55:45,646 --> 00:55:49,607 He may be watching us, walk casually. 1199 00:55:54,786 --> 00:55:56,265 His light's on, Max. 1200 00:55:56,309 --> 00:55:58,224 Okay, I'll go in and you cover me. 1201 00:55:58,267 --> 00:55:59,573 Max, I don't have a gun. 1202 00:55:59,617 --> 00:56:01,749 Okay, then you go in and I'll cover you. 1203 00:56:01,793 --> 00:56:03,098 Max! 1204 00:56:03,142 --> 00:56:06,188 I've got a gun for you, 99. 1205 00:56:07,581 --> 00:56:10,062 Max, this looks like a tootsie roll with a trigger. 1206 00:56:10,105 --> 00:56:12,586 What do you say when you use this, put your finger up? 1207 00:56:12,630 --> 00:56:14,762 Well, it may not look like much, 99, 1208 00:56:14,806 --> 00:56:16,982 but when you attach this noiser to it. 1209 00:56:17,025 --> 00:56:19,811 - Noiser? - A bang becomes a boom. 1210 00:56:22,814 --> 00:56:25,207 This is Maxwell Smart, open up, Major. 1211 00:56:26,339 --> 00:56:27,601 He turned his lights off. 1212 00:56:28,994 --> 00:56:31,126 Major, open up. 1213 00:56:40,353 --> 00:56:42,616 Missed it by that much. 1214 00:57:01,026 --> 00:57:02,767 He's still breathing, 99. 1215 00:57:02,810 --> 00:57:03,811 Good. 1216 00:57:06,248 --> 00:57:08,076 Hello, this is Maxwell Smart. 1217 00:57:08,120 --> 00:57:10,470 Major Waterhouse is our double agent. 1218 00:57:10,514 --> 00:57:12,254 I want you to send an ambulance 1219 00:57:12,298 --> 00:57:14,822 to the Potomac Creek Trailer Park. 1220 00:57:14,866 --> 00:57:15,823 What? 1221 00:57:15,867 --> 00:57:16,737 Who is this? 1222 00:57:16,781 --> 00:57:17,477 Minnie Lepkowitz. 1223 00:57:17,521 --> 00:57:18,870 Minnie Lepkowitz? 1224 00:57:18,913 --> 00:57:20,262 What department are you in? 1225 00:57:20,306 --> 00:57:21,829 Lingerie for small and tall. 1226 00:57:21,873 --> 00:57:23,483 Lingerie for small and tall? 1227 00:57:23,527 --> 00:57:25,137 - Sorry, wrong number. - Bye. 1228 00:57:25,180 --> 00:57:26,791 Max! 1229 00:57:26,834 --> 00:57:28,836 - Hello, this is Maxwell... - Lingerie for small and tall. 1230 00:57:28,880 --> 00:57:30,055 Minnie? 1231 00:57:30,098 --> 00:57:31,404 - Sorry. - That's okay. 1232 00:57:31,448 --> 00:57:32,884 Max, look... 1233 00:57:32,927 --> 00:57:33,972 - Hello, this... - Lingerie for small and tall. 1234 00:57:34,015 --> 00:57:35,016 Minnie, 1235 00:57:35,060 --> 00:57:36,235 - will ya do me a favor? - Sure. 1236 00:57:36,278 --> 00:57:37,497 I want you to call this number. 1237 00:57:37,541 --> 00:57:41,022 555-9300 and tell 'em to send an ambulance 1238 00:57:41,066 --> 00:57:42,763 to the Potomac Creek Trailer Park. 1239 00:57:42,807 --> 00:57:44,243 You're joking. 1240 00:57:44,286 --> 00:57:45,853 No, I'm not joking, I'm telling you the truth. 1241 00:57:45,897 --> 00:57:46,985 How do I know that? 1242 00:57:47,028 --> 00:57:48,769 Minnie, have I ever lied to ya? 1243 00:57:48,813 --> 00:57:49,988 - No. - Thanks. 1244 00:57:50,031 --> 00:57:52,512 Max, this is a xerox of pages from my book. 1245 00:57:52,556 --> 00:57:53,948 Then your hunch was right. 1246 00:57:53,992 --> 00:57:55,994 There is a connection between KAOS and the book company. 1247 00:57:56,037 --> 00:57:56,908 What pages? 1248 00:57:56,951 --> 00:57:59,867 Chapter 14, the one about you. 1249 00:57:59,911 --> 00:58:02,827 You didn't get to me until chapter 14? 1250 00:58:02,870 --> 00:58:04,132 What else was there to write about? 1251 00:58:04,176 --> 00:58:06,787 Oh, Max, there were lots of fascinating cases. 1252 00:58:06,831 --> 00:58:07,875 Really, like what? 1253 00:58:07,919 --> 00:58:09,529 Well, you remember Agent 95. 1254 00:58:09,573 --> 00:58:11,009 Yes. 1255 00:58:11,052 --> 00:58:12,532 Remember the time he was kidnapped by KAOS 1256 00:58:12,576 --> 00:58:14,839 and when we got him back he was a total loss 1257 00:58:14,882 --> 00:58:16,101 and how he ranted and raved 1258 00:58:16,144 --> 00:58:18,103 and we couldn't understand a word he said. 1259 00:58:18,146 --> 00:58:19,931 Whatever happened to Agent 95? 1260 00:58:19,974 --> 00:58:21,410 He went into politics. 1261 00:58:25,937 --> 00:58:28,243 Siegfried, I have bad news. 1262 00:58:28,287 --> 00:58:29,984 Shtarker, that's terrible. 1263 00:58:30,028 --> 00:58:31,943 All right, I have terrible news. 1264 00:58:31,986 --> 00:58:33,988 We no longer have an agent in place. 1265 00:58:34,032 --> 00:58:37,905 The major has been taken prisoner by Maxwell Smart. 1266 00:58:37,949 --> 00:58:41,909 Smart, Smart, Smart, I have had it with Smart, up to here! 1267 00:58:43,345 --> 00:58:46,261 I think maybe we should try and get rid of him. 1268 00:58:46,305 --> 00:58:48,046 You think we should get rid of him? 1269 00:58:48,089 --> 00:58:50,309 What a brilliant idea. 1270 00:58:53,355 --> 00:58:54,574 I have a plan. 1271 00:58:54,618 --> 00:58:56,576 I will arrange a truce. 1272 00:58:56,620 --> 00:58:59,579 Smart and I will meet, as we have met in the past, 1273 00:58:59,623 --> 00:59:02,277 but it will be our last meeting. 1274 00:59:02,321 --> 00:59:05,193 I will personally eliminate him! 1275 00:59:05,237 --> 00:59:06,891 Well, you'd better do it quick, Siegfried, 1276 00:59:06,934 --> 00:59:09,110 before they try and make the major talk. 1277 00:59:09,154 --> 00:59:10,938 Do you think the major will talk 1278 00:59:10,982 --> 00:59:13,114 or will he swallow his poisoned pill? 1279 00:59:13,158 --> 00:59:16,944 He will do exactly as you or I would do. 1280 00:59:16,988 --> 00:59:20,034 Then how do we stop him from talking? 1281 00:59:21,558 --> 00:59:23,908 Bad news, sir, we can't interrogate Major Waterhouse. 1282 00:59:23,951 --> 00:59:26,519 He took three poisoned pills, one after each meal. 1283 00:59:26,563 --> 00:59:29,043 What kind of prescription is that, Max? 1284 00:59:29,087 --> 00:59:31,132 Well, 99, it's a good thing we don't use 1285 00:59:31,176 --> 00:59:33,352 the KAOS pharmacy, listen to this. 1286 00:59:33,395 --> 00:59:38,226 Caution, do not drive if drowsiness or death occurs. 1287 00:59:38,270 --> 00:59:41,099 Well, the good news is we've eliminated the mole, 1288 00:59:41,142 --> 00:59:44,450 but the bad news is we've also eliminated our best lead 1289 00:59:44,493 --> 00:59:47,627 to finding the mastermind behind this KAOS plot. 1290 00:59:47,671 --> 00:59:49,934 We've still got the book company, sir. 1291 00:59:49,977 --> 00:59:51,979 Yes, who would have access to your manuscript? 1292 00:59:52,023 --> 00:59:53,938 Well, there's Lisa Spencer my editor, 1293 00:59:53,981 --> 00:59:55,940 and she has there or four assistants. 1294 00:59:55,983 --> 00:59:57,419 There's the publisher. 1295 00:59:57,463 --> 00:59:59,204 For that matter, it could be anyone at the book company. 1296 00:59:59,247 --> 01:00:00,597 Why's that? 1297 01:00:00,640 --> 01:00:01,902 They don't keep my manuscript under lock and key. 1298 01:00:01,946 --> 01:00:03,295 Anyone could've copied it. 1299 01:00:03,338 --> 01:00:04,644 Obviously, someone did. 1300 01:00:04,688 --> 01:00:07,255 KAOS could've bribed someone at the book company. 1301 01:00:07,299 --> 01:00:08,561 I'll follow up on that, sir. 1302 01:00:08,605 --> 01:00:09,997 I mean, 1303 01:00:10,041 --> 01:00:12,652 the agency might want to investigate that. 1304 01:00:12,696 --> 01:00:14,915 Mrs. Smart, at first I was upset 1305 01:00:14,959 --> 01:00:17,614 at your accidental involvement in this case, 1306 01:00:17,657 --> 01:00:21,530 but when it became apparent that your knowledge 1307 01:00:21,574 --> 01:00:23,968 and your expertise could be invaluable, 1308 01:00:24,011 --> 01:00:27,667 well, I conferred with the president and he agrees with me. 1309 01:00:27,711 --> 01:00:31,192 I'm reactivating you, effective immediately. 1310 01:00:31,236 --> 01:00:33,368 Thank you very much, Commander. 1311 01:00:33,412 --> 01:00:35,675 Excuse me, Commander, Schmelding is here. 1312 01:00:35,719 --> 01:00:37,285 What's a schmelding? 1313 01:00:37,329 --> 01:00:39,636 Professor Helmut Schmelding, 1314 01:00:39,679 --> 01:00:42,682 better known to you as Hamlet Spalding. 1315 01:00:42,726 --> 01:00:45,380 We managed to decipher the tapes. 1316 01:00:45,424 --> 01:00:48,253 Of course, Helmut Schmelding. 1317 01:00:48,296 --> 01:00:49,646 Hamlet Spalding! 1318 01:00:51,212 --> 01:00:53,345 Who is Helmet Schmelling? 1319 01:00:53,388 --> 01:00:56,696 Dr. Helmut Schmelding is a world renowned 1320 01:00:56,740 --> 01:01:00,047 atmospheric physicist and probably the only man 1321 01:01:00,091 --> 01:01:03,529 capable of dismantling the KAOS weather machine. 1322 01:01:03,572 --> 01:01:04,573 Send him in. 1323 01:01:04,617 --> 01:01:05,618 Who? 1324 01:01:05,662 --> 01:01:08,360 Dr. Helmut Schmelding. 1325 01:01:08,403 --> 01:01:09,404 Good idea. 1326 01:01:14,279 --> 01:01:16,107 All right, Siegfried, hold it right there. 1327 01:01:16,150 --> 01:01:18,152 One move and you're an obituary. 1328 01:01:18,196 --> 01:01:21,025 Max, this is Dr. Helmut Schmelding. 1329 01:01:21,068 --> 01:01:22,722 This is not Dr. Helmut Schmelding. 1330 01:01:22,766 --> 01:01:25,638 This is Conrad Siegfried a KAOS killer. 1331 01:01:25,682 --> 01:01:26,639 Am I right, 99? 1332 01:01:26,683 --> 01:01:28,336 He certainly looks like him. 1333 01:01:28,380 --> 01:01:32,123 Commander, this man and this number are mistaken. 1334 01:01:32,166 --> 01:01:34,125 Look, I can prove it. 1335 01:01:34,168 --> 01:01:35,256 Drop that gun. 1336 01:01:35,300 --> 01:01:36,736 Drop that card. 1337 01:01:36,780 --> 01:01:39,130 Listen to what my card says. 1338 01:01:39,173 --> 01:01:40,653 Professor Helmut Schmelding, 1339 01:01:40,697 --> 01:01:43,612 world renowned atmospheric physicist. 1340 01:01:43,656 --> 01:01:45,136 Anyone can print a card. 1341 01:01:45,179 --> 01:01:47,616 Yeah, but this is engraved and in four colors. 1342 01:01:47,660 --> 01:01:49,009 It's not a cheapy. 1343 01:01:49,053 --> 01:01:50,707 Let me see that. 1344 01:01:50,750 --> 01:01:53,013 Oh, yes, engraved, four colors. 1345 01:01:53,057 --> 01:01:54,580 What do you think, 99? 1346 01:01:54,623 --> 01:01:57,539 Professor Schmelding's resemblance to Siegfried is uncanny 1347 01:01:57,583 --> 01:01:59,411 even the scar is the same. 1348 01:01:59,454 --> 01:02:02,153 I got in a duel in Heidelberg. 1349 01:02:02,196 --> 01:02:03,415 With whom? 1350 01:02:03,458 --> 01:02:06,331 My, all right, all right, I confess. 1351 01:02:07,506 --> 01:02:10,639 That good for nothing Siegfried is my brother. 1352 01:02:10,683 --> 01:02:12,729 How come you have different last names? 1353 01:02:12,772 --> 01:02:15,340 Schmelding is my mother's maiden name. 1354 01:02:15,383 --> 01:02:16,602 That's remarkable. 1355 01:02:16,645 --> 01:02:18,299 You're truly identical twins. 1356 01:02:18,343 --> 01:02:20,649 Actually, identical triplets. 1357 01:02:20,693 --> 01:02:22,608 You mean you and Siegfried are triplets? 1358 01:02:22,651 --> 01:02:24,784 No, there are three of us. 1359 01:02:24,828 --> 01:02:27,482 You mean to tell me that you have another brother 1360 01:02:27,526 --> 01:02:30,137 who looks exactly like you and Siegfried? 1361 01:02:30,181 --> 01:02:31,660 No, a sister. 1362 01:02:31,704 --> 01:02:33,793 I bet she has a tough time getting dates. 1363 01:02:36,187 --> 01:02:37,492 Yes, sir, Mr. President. 1364 01:02:37,536 --> 01:02:39,320 Activate your video screen. 1365 01:02:39,364 --> 01:02:40,147 What, now? 1366 01:02:40,191 --> 01:02:41,148 It's KAOS. 1367 01:02:41,192 --> 01:02:42,671 Yes, sir. 1368 01:02:42,715 --> 01:02:44,369 That was the president. 1369 01:02:44,412 --> 01:02:47,328 KAOS is preparing to broadcast on our restricted network. 1370 01:02:47,372 --> 01:02:50,157 Larrabee, turn on the TV. 1371 01:02:50,201 --> 01:02:52,159 I think Hymie should be in on this. 1372 01:02:52,203 --> 01:02:54,727 Hymie, drop everything and get in here! 1373 01:03:08,393 --> 01:03:12,484 ♪ Follow my instructions and we'll have no problems 1374 01:03:12,527 --> 01:03:16,183 ♪ Pay the ransom quickly or else it's kaput 1375 01:03:16,227 --> 01:03:19,708 ♪ Or else it's kaput 1376 01:03:19,752 --> 01:03:22,668 Our leader is not pleased that you have reactivated 1377 01:03:22,711 --> 01:03:27,194 yourselves and Maxwell Smart, so in retaliation 1378 01:03:27,238 --> 01:03:31,546 I am now reducing the payoff time to 72 hours. 1379 01:03:31,590 --> 01:03:34,723 Furthermore, I demand a meeting with Maxwell Smart 1380 01:03:34,767 --> 01:03:39,424 to discuss how the $250 billion will be delivered. 1381 01:03:39,467 --> 01:03:41,426 Act immediately or else 1382 01:03:43,471 --> 01:03:44,777 I will sing again. 1383 01:03:47,911 --> 01:03:49,216 I don't like it. 1384 01:03:49,260 --> 01:03:51,305 You don't need a meeting to discuss a payoff. 1385 01:03:51,349 --> 01:03:54,526 I agree, 99, there's something rotten in Detroit. 1386 01:03:54,569 --> 01:03:55,832 That's Denmark, Max. 1387 01:03:55,875 --> 01:03:57,268 Oh, well, 1388 01:03:57,311 --> 01:03:59,226 things haven't been that great in Detroit either. 1389 01:03:59,270 --> 01:04:01,663 They've given us 72 hours, it can't be done. 1390 01:04:01,707 --> 01:04:03,187 I have a plan, sir. 1391 01:04:03,230 --> 01:04:04,710 Good, let's hear it. 1392 01:04:04,753 --> 01:04:06,190 And remember, everyone, 1393 01:04:06,233 --> 01:04:08,366 what Max says is not to be taken outside this room. 1394 01:04:08,409 --> 01:04:10,237 Well, if this is top secret, 1395 01:04:10,281 --> 01:04:13,371 then it should have maximum security. 1396 01:04:17,941 --> 01:04:19,899 No hover cover. 1397 01:04:19,943 --> 01:04:22,380 I can understand your feelings, sir, 1398 01:04:22,423 --> 01:04:25,426 but the manual clearly states that we should have 1399 01:04:25,470 --> 01:04:28,821 an anti-bugging device in a maximum security situation. 1400 01:04:28,865 --> 01:04:30,910 Fortunately, we have a backup. 1401 01:04:30,954 --> 01:04:33,304 Dr. Denton's hall of hush. 1402 01:04:43,314 --> 01:04:46,491 The hall of hush represents the crowning achievement 1403 01:04:46,534 --> 01:04:48,623 in my already brilliant career. 1404 01:04:48,667 --> 01:04:51,409 It is capable of defeating the most sophisticated 1405 01:04:51,452 --> 01:04:53,193 bugging devices. 1406 01:04:53,237 --> 01:04:54,673 How, you may ask. 1407 01:04:54,716 --> 01:04:56,631 I wouldn't ask that. 1408 01:04:56,675 --> 01:04:59,765 We do it by converting speech into silence. 1409 01:04:59,808 --> 01:05:02,724 When I close this door and the red light goes on, 1410 01:05:02,768 --> 01:05:04,770 the voice mufflers will be activated, 1411 01:05:04,813 --> 01:05:08,817 and you will be able to see, and I emphasize see, 1412 01:05:08,861 --> 01:05:10,907 what my genius has wrought. 1413 01:06:49,048 --> 01:06:52,486 The security manual no longer exists. 1414 01:06:53,879 --> 01:06:56,534 Now, Smart, you will tell me your plan, 1415 01:06:56,577 --> 01:06:58,753 you will tell it to me now, and you will tell it to me 1416 01:06:58,797 --> 01:07:00,799 in front of all these people. 1417 01:07:00,842 --> 01:07:03,976 We capture Siegfried, substitute Schmelding for him, 1418 01:07:04,020 --> 01:07:06,761 then we follow Schmelding to KAOS headquarters. 1419 01:07:06,805 --> 01:07:07,849 He'll let us in. 1420 01:07:07,893 --> 01:07:11,331 It's the old, old Trojan horse trick. 1421 01:07:11,375 --> 01:07:12,767 That could work. 1422 01:07:12,811 --> 01:07:15,074 99, are you sure this isn't your idea? 1423 01:07:15,118 --> 01:07:16,684 No, it was Max's. 1424 01:07:17,816 --> 01:07:19,122 Professor, 1425 01:07:19,165 --> 01:07:20,688 how do you feel about impersonating your brother? 1426 01:07:20,732 --> 01:07:24,779 Not good, I really don't want to get involved 1427 01:07:24,823 --> 01:07:26,781 in any spy hocus pocus. 1428 01:07:27,739 --> 01:07:29,784 But, Professor, once we locate KAOS, 1429 01:07:29,828 --> 01:07:31,656 we can destroy their evil machine, 1430 01:07:31,699 --> 01:07:34,093 and once and for all make the world safe for shopping, 1431 01:07:34,137 --> 01:07:35,616 shopping, shopping, 1432 01:07:35,660 --> 01:07:36,835 - shopping. - Oh my, he's in a verbal 1433 01:07:36,878 --> 01:07:38,793 - S mode! - Scheme, sleeping, 1434 01:07:38,837 --> 01:07:41,753 sledding, sandwiches, sex, singing. 1435 01:07:41,796 --> 01:07:43,755 ♪ Flonnie, how I love ya, how I love ya 1436 01:07:43,798 --> 01:07:44,799 ♪ My dear old 1437 01:07:44,843 --> 01:07:47,019 Sorry, sir, sir, sir, sir. 1438 01:07:48,151 --> 01:07:50,631 Gentlemen, we are losing valuable time. 1439 01:07:50,675 --> 01:07:54,635 Professor, I know we're asking you to do a lot more 1440 01:07:54,679 --> 01:07:57,595 than you bargained for, but we really don't have any choice. 1441 01:07:57,638 --> 01:07:59,640 The fate of our country's at stake. 1442 01:07:59,684 --> 01:08:01,773 You're the only one who can impersonate Siegfried, 1443 01:08:01,816 --> 01:08:04,123 because you're the only one who looks like him. 1444 01:08:04,167 --> 01:08:06,778 Unless of course your sister is in town. 1445 01:08:06,821 --> 01:08:09,128 All right, I'll give it a try. 1446 01:08:09,172 --> 01:08:12,784 Thank you, Professor, thank you very, very much. 1447 01:08:12,827 --> 01:08:14,916 Hymie, put the word out on the street 1448 01:08:14,960 --> 01:08:17,136 that Max will meet with Siegfried. 1449 01:08:17,180 --> 01:08:19,399 Other than being my brother, 1450 01:08:19,443 --> 01:08:21,706 what is the worst thing that could happen to me? 1451 01:08:21,749 --> 01:08:23,055 Well, you could be killed. 1452 01:08:23,099 --> 01:08:24,448 Oh, boy. 1453 01:08:24,491 --> 01:08:25,884 Or you might have to kill someone. 1454 01:08:25,927 --> 01:08:28,539 No, you can't ask me to kill a person. 1455 01:08:28,582 --> 01:08:30,149 I'm a scientist. 1456 01:08:30,193 --> 01:08:33,544 We only do continents, countries, occasionally a convention, 1457 01:08:33,587 --> 01:08:35,459 but a person, never. 1458 01:08:35,502 --> 01:08:38,026 Oh no, Commander did I hear you tell Hymie 1459 01:08:38,070 --> 01:08:39,985 to put the word out on the street? 1460 01:08:40,028 --> 01:08:40,812 Yes. 1461 01:08:40,855 --> 01:08:42,161 Come on, Max! 1462 01:09:18,937 --> 01:09:20,678 Well, we'll just have to chalk this up 1463 01:09:20,721 --> 01:09:23,898 to a precious waste of time and chalk. 1464 01:09:37,085 --> 01:09:40,045 Shtarker,. 1465 01:09:40,088 --> 01:09:42,003 Siegfried, what is it? 1466 01:09:42,047 --> 01:09:43,309 Oh, Siegfried, 1467 01:09:43,353 --> 01:09:44,876 you really should speak with the cleaning crews. 1468 01:09:44,919 --> 01:09:47,574 They seem to have missed this huge slab of concrete 1469 01:09:47,618 --> 01:09:48,532 on your desk. 1470 01:09:49,837 --> 01:09:52,710 Smart's message is written on this concrete. 1471 01:09:52,753 --> 01:09:53,798 I see. 1472 01:09:55,147 --> 01:09:57,105 What exactly does this mean? 1473 01:09:57,149 --> 01:10:00,108 I think the meaning is perfectly clear. 1474 01:10:00,152 --> 01:10:01,762 Walter loves Eddie. 1475 01:10:01,806 --> 01:10:04,678 No, you stupid, in the orange chalk. 1476 01:10:04,722 --> 01:10:07,246 Maxwell Smart will meet with Siegfried. 1477 01:10:07,290 --> 01:10:09,117 Yippee-yi-o-ki-yay! 1478 01:10:10,118 --> 01:10:12,251 Shtarker, this is KAOS. 1479 01:10:12,295 --> 01:10:15,036 We don't yippee-yi-o-ki-yay here! 1480 01:10:15,080 --> 01:10:17,735 Forgive me, I know we don't yippee-yi-o-ki-yay here. 1481 01:10:17,778 --> 01:10:21,260 Occasionally, a restrained ya-hoo is all right. 1482 01:10:23,175 --> 01:10:25,133 - Siegfried's office. - Shtarker. 1483 01:10:25,177 --> 01:10:26,570 Ja, my leader. 1484 01:10:26,613 --> 01:10:27,832 What is going on there? 1485 01:10:27,875 --> 01:10:28,833 We have good news for you. 1486 01:10:28,876 --> 01:10:30,530 I tell the good news. 1487 01:10:31,792 --> 01:10:34,795 Maxwell Smart has agreed to meet with me. 1488 01:10:34,839 --> 01:10:36,667 If you have nothing better to do this afternoon, 1489 01:10:36,710 --> 01:10:40,627 you might find it amusing to attend his funeral. 1490 01:10:41,324 --> 01:10:42,281 Carry on. 1491 01:10:46,154 --> 01:10:48,983 He's putting it on his calendar. 1492 01:10:50,158 --> 01:10:50,985 Ya-hoo! 1493 01:11:08,351 --> 01:11:11,484 I gotta remember this is not automatic. 1494 01:11:11,528 --> 01:11:13,921 Max, I can't believe me, I'm all butterflies. 1495 01:11:13,965 --> 01:11:15,401 Do you realize how long it's been 1496 01:11:15,445 --> 01:11:18,186 since we've done something this exciting together? 1497 01:11:18,230 --> 01:11:21,407 What was wrong with Tuesday night? 1498 01:11:21,451 --> 01:11:23,453 Max, Siegfried's here. 1499 01:11:32,070 --> 01:11:34,115 What made Smart pick this park? 1500 01:11:34,159 --> 01:11:36,901 Smart is a sentimentalist. 1501 01:11:36,944 --> 01:11:39,947 This is where Maxwell and I first met, 1502 01:11:39,991 --> 01:11:43,995 under that tree on that teeny-weeny bench there. 1503 01:12:04,972 --> 01:12:07,453 Well, Siegfried, you're looking as evil as ever. 1504 01:12:07,497 --> 01:12:10,238 And you, Smart, you're looking remarkably well, 1505 01:12:10,282 --> 01:12:11,892 I'm sorry to say. 1506 01:12:17,071 --> 01:12:20,945 Do you mind if we frisk ourselves in a private place? 1507 01:12:20,988 --> 01:12:21,946 Siegfried! 1508 01:12:21,989 --> 01:12:25,036 As we agreed inside the building. 1509 01:12:25,079 --> 01:12:25,993 Oh, okay. 1510 01:12:39,093 --> 01:12:42,227 All right, let's get the frisking over with. 1511 01:12:42,270 --> 01:12:43,881 Okay, I'll frisk you first. 1512 01:12:43,924 --> 01:12:45,926 Why can't I frisk you first? 1513 01:12:45,970 --> 01:12:49,887 Because I said first that I'll frisk you first. 1514 01:12:49,930 --> 01:12:52,846 What if you frisk me first and don't find a gun, 1515 01:12:52,890 --> 01:12:54,326 then before I can frisk you, 1516 01:12:54,370 --> 01:12:56,328 you put out your gun and shoot me? 1517 01:12:56,372 --> 01:12:57,982 I wouldn't do that. 1518 01:12:58,025 --> 01:13:01,159 I would, that's why I wanted to go first. 1519 01:13:01,202 --> 01:13:03,291 Okay, Siegfried, I've got an idea. 1520 01:13:03,335 --> 01:13:04,380 What is it? 1521 01:13:05,337 --> 01:13:07,121 I'll frisk half of you, 1522 01:13:07,165 --> 01:13:09,297 then you frisk half of me, 1523 01:13:09,341 --> 01:13:11,125 then I'll frisk the other half of you, 1524 01:13:11,169 --> 01:13:12,953 then you frisk the other half of me. 1525 01:13:12,997 --> 01:13:15,521 - Then... - Maxwell, you stupid, 1526 01:13:15,565 --> 01:13:18,132 I called this meeting, if I can't frisk you first, 1527 01:13:18,176 --> 01:13:19,873 I'm leaving. 1528 01:13:19,917 --> 01:13:24,008 All right, all right, you can frisk me first. 1529 01:13:34,497 --> 01:13:35,889 What is this? 1530 01:13:35,933 --> 01:13:38,152 They're my suicide pills. 1531 01:13:38,196 --> 01:13:39,937 Suicide pills? 1532 01:13:39,980 --> 01:13:42,200 Yes, they come in all different flavors: 1533 01:13:42,243 --> 01:13:44,550 orange, raspberry, strawberry. 1534 01:13:44,594 --> 01:13:45,986 Raspberry? 1535 01:13:46,030 --> 01:13:48,162 Would you like to try one? 1536 01:13:54,430 --> 01:13:55,256 Happy? 1537 01:13:57,041 --> 01:13:59,347 Okay, now I frisk you. 1538 01:13:59,391 --> 01:14:00,610 No! 1539 01:14:00,653 --> 01:14:04,048 Or else you would find this, hands up, Smart! 1540 01:14:05,963 --> 01:14:08,618 Okay, I'll put up my hands and 1541 01:14:11,011 --> 01:14:12,012 my foot. 1542 01:14:15,146 --> 01:14:17,496 The new and improved version from KAOS. 1543 01:14:19,019 --> 01:14:20,107 Surprise. 1544 01:14:25,504 --> 01:14:26,679 Hymie, 1545 01:14:26,723 --> 01:14:28,638 bring in the professor. 1546 01:14:36,472 --> 01:14:38,038 Helmut. 1547 01:14:38,082 --> 01:14:39,518 Hello, Conrad. 1548 01:14:39,562 --> 01:14:41,955 What are you doing here, where did you come from? 1549 01:14:41,999 --> 01:14:43,000 Berlin. 1550 01:14:43,043 --> 01:14:44,088 How is Mother? 1551 01:14:44,131 --> 01:14:45,524 Why ask now? 1552 01:14:45,568 --> 01:14:48,396 You don't care, you never call, you never write. 1553 01:14:48,440 --> 01:14:49,702 How well I know that feeling. 1554 01:14:49,746 --> 01:14:51,182 Hymie. 1555 01:14:51,225 --> 01:14:53,227 I wrote, you never gave her my letters. 1556 01:14:53,271 --> 01:14:54,185 Liar. 1557 01:14:55,665 --> 01:14:58,624 All right, enough of this family chitchat. 1558 01:14:58,668 --> 01:15:00,670 Siegfried, strip. 1559 01:15:00,713 --> 01:15:02,236 What do you have in mind? 1560 01:15:02,280 --> 01:15:04,151 Give your clothes to the professor. 1561 01:15:04,195 --> 01:15:05,675 So that's it? 1562 01:15:05,718 --> 01:15:08,721 You're going to have goody two-shoes impersonate me. 1563 01:15:08,765 --> 01:15:11,071 Ridiculous, it won't work. 1564 01:15:11,115 --> 01:15:14,988 He's a teacher's pet, this sissy, a knockwurst polisher. 1565 01:15:15,032 --> 01:15:17,556 Name one person in KAOS who will believe 1566 01:15:17,600 --> 01:15:19,732 he's Siegfried the malevolent. 1567 01:15:19,776 --> 01:15:23,562 Shtarker will believe it, and that's all we need. 1568 01:15:23,606 --> 01:15:24,737 True. 1569 01:15:24,781 --> 01:15:27,348 Ah, Smart, how can you do this? 1570 01:15:27,392 --> 01:15:29,568 We had the equivalent of a truce, 1571 01:15:29,612 --> 01:15:31,265 and you have betrayed me. 1572 01:15:31,309 --> 01:15:32,440 I have betrayed you? 1573 01:15:32,484 --> 01:15:33,703 You were going to kill me. 1574 01:15:33,746 --> 01:15:36,619 Yes, but I'm evil and cold. 1575 01:15:36,662 --> 01:15:39,056 Could I have the bathrobe? 1576 01:15:39,099 --> 01:15:42,538 Well, Siegfried, we did have sort of a truce. 1577 01:15:42,581 --> 01:15:45,062 Well, what are you going to do about it? 1578 01:15:45,105 --> 01:15:48,456 Well, after this is all over, I'm gonna release you, 1579 01:15:48,500 --> 01:15:51,111 and you can keep the bathrobe forever. 1580 01:15:51,155 --> 01:15:52,722 Hymie, get him outta here. 1581 01:16:01,339 --> 01:16:03,167 And you can quote me. 1582 01:16:04,647 --> 01:16:06,779 All right, Maxwell, 1583 01:16:06,823 --> 01:16:09,303 do I look all right? 1584 01:16:09,347 --> 01:16:11,610 No, you look just like Siegfried. 1585 01:16:11,654 --> 01:16:13,481 It's perfect. 1586 01:16:13,525 --> 01:16:15,092 You ready? 1587 01:16:15,135 --> 01:16:15,788 I'm ready. 1588 01:16:17,355 --> 01:16:20,750 Get going, you just killed Maxwell Smart. 1589 01:16:41,466 --> 01:16:45,078 Step on it, Maxwell, we'll lose them. 1590 01:16:45,122 --> 01:16:46,079 What's the matter? 1591 01:16:46,123 --> 01:16:47,646 I can't get it out of reverse. 1592 01:16:47,690 --> 01:16:48,647 You must've jammed it. 1593 01:16:48,691 --> 01:16:49,561 Where's the manual? 1594 01:16:49,605 --> 01:16:51,432 Look in the glove compartment. 1595 01:16:57,134 --> 01:16:58,352 It's not in here. 1596 01:16:58,396 --> 01:16:59,745 They're gonna get away, Max. 1597 01:16:59,789 --> 01:17:01,529 No, they're not. 1598 01:18:00,632 --> 01:18:03,591 Must've gone into one of these buildings. 1599 01:18:03,635 --> 01:18:05,245 Do you think it'll occur to the professor 1600 01:18:05,289 --> 01:18:07,595 to leave a door open? 1601 01:18:07,639 --> 01:18:09,859 Siegfried, you left the door open. 1602 01:18:09,902 --> 01:18:11,774 Oh, how careless of me. 1603 01:18:39,279 --> 01:18:43,457 Shtarker, I think I lost my pen, I'll be right back. 1604 01:18:44,807 --> 01:18:46,809 Max, most of these buildings are warehouses. 1605 01:18:46,852 --> 01:18:48,201 I know that, 99. 1606 01:18:48,245 --> 01:18:49,768 Pinter, Dimnete, and Stone has a warehouse 1607 01:18:49,812 --> 01:18:51,465 in this part of town. 1608 01:18:51,509 --> 01:18:55,339 Why don't we look for a building with books in it? 1609 01:18:57,733 --> 01:18:59,038 What are you doing? 1610 01:18:59,082 --> 01:19:00,779 Oh, I thought I might've dropped my pen outside. 1611 01:19:00,823 --> 01:19:04,957 It's only a pen, we have hundreds of them, let's go. 1612 01:19:06,698 --> 01:19:07,481 Siegfried. 1613 01:19:07,525 --> 01:19:08,395 Yeah? 1614 01:19:08,439 --> 01:19:10,789 You left the door open again. 1615 01:19:10,833 --> 01:19:12,835 What is with me today? 1616 01:19:30,853 --> 01:19:31,984 It's locked. 1617 01:19:32,985 --> 01:19:34,465 It's a deadbolt, Max. 1618 01:19:34,508 --> 01:19:36,554 You can't open this door with a credit card. 1619 01:19:36,597 --> 01:19:40,427 This is Dr. Denton's laser beam credit card. 1620 01:19:52,396 --> 01:19:54,093 Ah, this belongs in the lab. 1621 01:19:54,137 --> 01:19:56,835 Would you open the door for me, Siegfried? 1622 01:19:56,879 --> 01:19:59,446 I don't seem to have my key. 1623 01:19:59,490 --> 01:20:00,621 Key? 1624 01:20:00,665 --> 01:20:03,450 I don't remember the code. 1625 01:20:03,494 --> 01:20:05,365 Oh, hold this for me for a moment. 1626 01:20:05,409 --> 01:20:07,498 Let me refresh your memory, Siegfried. 1627 01:20:07,541 --> 01:20:09,456 First, you take a copy of a book 1628 01:20:09,500 --> 01:20:13,199 that begins with the letter I, Ivanhoe. 1629 01:20:13,243 --> 01:20:16,246 Then, you take a copy of a book that begins 1630 01:20:16,289 --> 01:20:19,379 with the letter N, Nicholas Nickleby. 1631 01:20:20,467 --> 01:20:23,514 You put them together, you have IN. 1632 01:20:26,169 --> 01:20:26,996 Oh. 1633 01:20:27,039 --> 01:20:28,127 Move. 1634 01:21:00,551 --> 01:21:04,250 Max, do you mind if I try something out on you? 1635 01:21:04,294 --> 01:21:07,297 Well, shouldn't we wait till the mission is over, 99? 1636 01:21:07,340 --> 01:21:09,647 No, Max, it's apparent who's the mastermind 1637 01:21:09,690 --> 01:21:11,170 behind this operation. 1638 01:21:11,214 --> 01:21:13,520 I thought so myself. 1639 01:21:13,564 --> 01:21:14,434 Who? 1640 01:21:14,478 --> 01:21:16,088 My publisher Nicholas Dimente. 1641 01:21:16,132 --> 01:21:18,177 He learned about KAOS, about Dr. Hottentot, 1642 01:21:18,221 --> 01:21:20,136 even about you from my manuscript. 1643 01:21:20,179 --> 01:21:22,399 Oh, Max, I divulged too much. 1644 01:21:22,442 --> 01:21:25,532 I didn't need to list all of your idiosyncrasies. 1645 01:21:25,576 --> 01:21:27,186 My idiosyncrasies? 1646 01:21:27,230 --> 01:21:28,622 Pages 127 to 145. 1647 01:21:29,972 --> 01:21:31,495 Why couldn't ya just write a diet book 1648 01:21:31,538 --> 01:21:32,975 like everybody else? 1649 01:21:33,018 --> 01:21:34,715 Oh, Max, it was me who put your life in danger. 1650 01:21:34,759 --> 01:21:36,456 I'll never forgive myself for that, Max. 1651 01:21:36,500 --> 01:21:38,197 I'll never forgive myself. 1652 01:21:38,241 --> 01:21:40,373 Ya have to forgive yourself, 99. 1653 01:21:40,417 --> 01:21:41,722 Okay. 1654 01:21:41,766 --> 01:21:44,725 But you could take a little time. 1655 01:21:48,077 --> 01:21:48,991 Did ya hear that? 1656 01:21:49,034 --> 01:21:50,035 It sounded like the professor. 1657 01:21:50,079 --> 01:21:52,255 It came from down there. 1658 01:21:58,217 --> 01:21:59,044 Max, look. 1659 01:22:01,568 --> 01:22:03,135 Hansel and Gretel. 1660 01:22:03,179 --> 01:22:05,181 Max, do you remember the story of Hansel and Gretel? 1661 01:22:05,224 --> 01:22:08,010 Of course, 99, but I don't have time to tell it to ya now. 1662 01:22:08,053 --> 01:22:10,534 The children use crumbs to leave a trail. 1663 01:22:10,577 --> 01:22:13,276 The professor used books instead of crumbs. 1664 01:22:13,319 --> 01:22:14,755 Well, we're lucky there's still a trail, 1665 01:22:14,799 --> 01:22:19,108 but then again, there are very few birds that eat books. 1666 01:22:24,635 --> 01:22:26,419 We're out of books. 1667 01:22:26,463 --> 01:22:27,464 Where's headquarters? 1668 01:22:27,507 --> 01:22:28,726 Where's Dimente? 1669 01:22:28,769 --> 01:22:30,597 What makes you so sure it's Dimente? 1670 01:22:30,641 --> 01:22:32,251 Couldn't it be your editor, Lisa? 1671 01:22:32,295 --> 01:22:33,383 It has to be Dimente. 1672 01:22:33,426 --> 01:22:34,384 Have I ever met him? 1673 01:22:34,427 --> 01:22:35,994 No, I don't think so. 1674 01:22:36,038 --> 01:22:38,388 Little under six feet tall, gray hair, black brows, 1675 01:22:38,431 --> 01:22:39,389 a mustache? 1676 01:22:39,432 --> 01:22:40,520 Yes, when did you meet him? 1677 01:22:40,564 --> 01:22:41,434 Just now. 1678 01:22:43,436 --> 01:22:44,742 Well, Mr. Smart. 1679 01:22:49,616 --> 01:22:51,575 Don't you think this is a little out of fashion, 1680 01:22:51,618 --> 01:22:53,664 to say nothing of barbaric? 1681 01:22:53,707 --> 01:22:55,622 Extremely uncivilized, 1682 01:22:55,666 --> 01:22:57,711 but definitely pragmatic. 1683 01:22:57,755 --> 01:22:59,539 Your book portrays you as an escape artist 1684 01:22:59,583 --> 01:23:01,672 of extraordinary caliber. 1685 01:23:01,715 --> 01:23:04,892 I didn't wanna become a new chapter in the revised edition. 1686 01:23:04,936 --> 01:23:07,678 I can't reconcile your working with KAOS. 1687 01:23:07,721 --> 01:23:09,593 I am KAOS. 1688 01:23:09,636 --> 01:23:11,682 I acquired the controlling shares a year ago. 1689 01:23:11,725 --> 01:23:13,553 But you're a prestigious publisher, 1690 01:23:13,597 --> 01:23:15,599 a man who believes in education, a man who... 1691 01:23:15,642 --> 01:23:17,644 There are 40 million people in our country 1692 01:23:17,688 --> 01:23:20,691 who cannot read or write over the fourth-grade level. 1693 01:23:20,734 --> 01:23:22,649 What does that have to do with KAOS? 1694 01:23:22,693 --> 01:23:27,654 With $250 billion, KAOS will publish the 150 great books, 1695 01:23:27,698 --> 01:23:30,005 make them required reading. 1696 01:23:30,048 --> 01:23:32,659 Those who don't read them will be killed. 1697 01:23:32,703 --> 01:23:35,488 But Americans will be forced to learn from Aristotle, 1698 01:23:35,532 --> 01:23:37,838 Euclid, Shakespeare, Twain. 1699 01:23:37,882 --> 01:23:39,014 You're mad. 1700 01:23:39,057 --> 01:23:40,667 What would you do, Mr. Smart? 1701 01:23:40,711 --> 01:23:43,018 I would appeal to the conscience of the president 1702 01:23:43,061 --> 01:23:46,325 and the congress and ask them to cut down on defense 1703 01:23:46,369 --> 01:23:48,545 and spend more money on education. 1704 01:23:48,588 --> 01:23:50,373 And you call me mad? 1705 01:23:50,416 --> 01:23:53,028 You can't make people read. 1706 01:23:53,071 --> 01:23:55,682 I can now that I have the Hottentot formula. 1707 01:23:55,726 --> 01:23:59,034 What does controlling the weather have to do with reading? 1708 01:23:59,077 --> 01:24:00,687 Everything. 1709 01:24:00,731 --> 01:24:02,863 Inclement weather forces people to remain indoors. 1710 01:24:02,907 --> 01:24:04,691 There's always television. 1711 01:24:04,735 --> 01:24:06,780 Wreak havoc with atmospheric conditions, 1712 01:24:06,824 --> 01:24:09,653 and you eliminate the transmission of television. 1713 01:24:09,696 --> 01:24:13,048 People will have nothing to do in their homes but read. 1714 01:24:13,091 --> 01:24:15,050 Well, almost nothing. 1715 01:24:15,093 --> 01:24:19,054 Dimente, your demented plan will not work. 1716 01:24:19,097 --> 01:24:20,490 Why not? 1717 01:24:20,533 --> 01:24:23,058 Because at this very moment this warehouse 1718 01:24:23,101 --> 01:24:27,366 is being surrounded by 100 cops with doberman pincers. 1719 01:24:27,410 --> 01:24:28,367 Would you believe it? 1720 01:24:28,411 --> 01:24:30,543 100 cops with doberman pincers. 1721 01:24:30,587 --> 01:24:32,067 I find that hard to believe. 1722 01:24:32,110 --> 01:24:36,071 Would you believe 10 security guards and a bloodhound? 1723 01:24:36,114 --> 01:24:37,550 I don't think so. 1724 01:24:37,594 --> 01:24:39,639 How 'bout a boy scout with rabies? 1725 01:24:39,683 --> 01:24:41,554 Mr. Smart, there is no force on earth 1726 01:24:41,598 --> 01:24:43,295 capable of stopping me. 1727 01:24:43,339 --> 01:24:46,733 I can burn towns, freeze cities. 1728 01:24:46,777 --> 01:24:49,040 I can electrocute countries. 1729 01:24:49,084 --> 01:24:52,652 I can drown the city that houses your finest minds, 1730 01:24:52,696 --> 01:24:54,654 your most brilliant intellects. 1731 01:24:54,698 --> 01:24:56,917 Well, at least Washington is safe. 1732 01:24:56,961 --> 01:24:58,441 Think of it, Mr. Smart. 1733 01:24:58,484 --> 01:25:00,486 With a push of a button, 1734 01:25:00,530 --> 01:25:03,750 I can create weather around the world 1735 01:25:03,794 --> 01:25:05,839 or right in this laboratory. 1736 01:25:05,883 --> 01:25:09,669 Snow storms, hurricanes, tornadoes, 1737 01:25:09,713 --> 01:25:10,801 or lightning. 1738 01:25:18,461 --> 01:25:20,680 What do you have to say now, Mr. Smart? 1739 01:25:20,724 --> 01:25:22,856 It's a brilliant plan, Dimente. 1740 01:25:22,900 --> 01:25:25,468 Too bad for you we found out about it. 1741 01:25:25,511 --> 01:25:27,383 Too bad for you, 1742 01:25:27,426 --> 01:25:29,124 because now I'm gonna have to kill you. 1743 01:25:29,167 --> 01:25:31,952 Well, I knew it was too bad for somebody. 1744 01:25:31,996 --> 01:25:35,652 Mr. Smart, you have an admirable spirit. 1745 01:25:36,740 --> 01:25:38,611 Oh, I regret that we were unable to meet 1746 01:25:38,655 --> 01:25:41,745 under more favorable conditions. 1747 01:25:41,788 --> 01:25:45,444 I'll see you in the morning for breakfast, 1748 01:25:45,488 --> 01:25:46,793 or final requests. 1749 01:25:48,186 --> 01:25:51,668 99, I think he's the wrong publisher for your book. 1750 01:25:51,711 --> 01:25:54,671 Folks, we can't afford to hang around here much longer. 1751 01:25:54,714 --> 01:25:57,021 If only we had our old inflato-coats. 1752 01:25:57,064 --> 01:25:58,631 We have better than that. 1753 01:25:58,675 --> 01:26:02,809 I've got a designer destructo-coat by Dr. Denton. 1754 01:26:02,853 --> 01:26:05,986 See if you can press my cuff buttons 1755 01:26:06,030 --> 01:26:08,380 to one-two-one-two. 1756 01:26:20,523 --> 01:26:22,699 Okay, one down, three to go. 1757 01:26:28,661 --> 01:26:29,967 All right, 1758 01:26:30,010 --> 01:26:32,099 take this card and unchain Beamish and Schmelding. 1759 01:26:32,143 --> 01:26:34,189 I'm gonna call headquarters. 1760 01:26:38,671 --> 01:26:41,674 This is Maxwell, Smart, put me through to the commander. 1761 01:26:41,718 --> 01:26:43,198 I have vital information. 1762 01:26:43,241 --> 01:26:44,808 Hello, this is Minnie... 1763 01:26:44,851 --> 01:26:47,680 Minnie, get off the line, this is an actual emergency. 1764 01:26:47,724 --> 01:26:49,682 With cup size, at the beep. 1765 01:26:49,726 --> 01:26:51,945 It's her answering machine. 1766 01:26:53,860 --> 01:26:57,690 Oh, Maxwell, you can't ask me to demolish this machine. 1767 01:26:57,734 --> 01:26:59,126 It's a work of genius. 1768 01:26:59,170 --> 01:27:01,520 It's so simple, everything is marked. 1769 01:27:01,564 --> 01:27:03,087 You press a button, you get rain. 1770 01:27:03,130 --> 01:27:03,914 You press another... 1771 01:27:03,957 --> 01:27:05,481 Destroy it, Professor. 1772 01:27:05,524 --> 01:27:07,134 But it's all we have left of Hottentot. 1773 01:27:07,178 --> 01:27:09,006 Orders are orders. 1774 01:27:09,049 --> 01:27:11,965 Beamish, you've been here longest, what are we up against? 1775 01:27:12,009 --> 01:27:14,141 Far as I can tell, it's only two guards and Shtarker. 1776 01:27:14,185 --> 01:27:15,099 Let's take 'em. 1777 01:27:15,142 --> 01:27:16,535 They've got guns. 1778 01:27:16,579 --> 01:27:17,623 Yes, but we have the element of surprise. 1779 01:27:38,949 --> 01:27:40,167 We've gotta split up. 1780 01:27:40,211 --> 01:27:41,821 99, you go that way, I'll go that way. 1781 01:27:41,865 --> 01:27:42,909 Beamish, you go that way. 1782 01:27:43,823 --> 01:27:45,260 Get them! 1783 01:28:33,830 --> 01:28:36,223 Nobody gets through War and Peace. 1784 01:29:00,683 --> 01:29:02,598 Missed me by that much. 1785 01:29:55,781 --> 01:29:56,826 Max! 1786 01:30:01,657 --> 01:30:03,746 Max, that was fantastic. 1787 01:30:03,789 --> 01:30:05,835 Yes, well, 99, it only goes to prove 1788 01:30:05,878 --> 01:30:08,403 that the pen is mightier than the sword. 1789 01:30:08,446 --> 01:30:09,795 Mr. Smart! 1790 01:30:09,839 --> 01:30:12,711 That was my best brush with death so far. 1791 01:30:12,755 --> 01:30:15,366 99, I want you and Beamish to tie up Shtarker 1792 01:30:15,410 --> 01:30:17,716 and the other two, then call headquarters for help. 1793 01:30:17,760 --> 01:30:19,414 I'm gonna see how the professor is. 1794 01:30:19,457 --> 01:30:20,676 Right, Max. 1795 01:30:25,898 --> 01:30:26,812 Professor. 1796 01:30:26,856 --> 01:30:28,335 Mr. Smart, 1797 01:30:28,379 --> 01:30:32,296 you have a most irritating habit of complicating my life. 1798 01:30:32,339 --> 01:30:34,733 We've captured your men, it's all over. 1799 01:30:36,126 --> 01:30:38,694 You do have a style, Mr. Smart. 1800 01:30:38,737 --> 01:30:40,391 Where would you like it? 1801 01:30:40,435 --> 01:30:42,741 I'll give it to you anywhere you want. 1802 01:30:42,785 --> 01:30:45,178 How about Philadelphia? 1803 01:30:49,313 --> 01:30:50,749 You call headquarters. 1804 01:30:50,793 --> 01:30:51,837 I want to see how Max and the professor are doing. 1805 01:30:51,881 --> 01:30:52,925 Okay. 1806 01:31:26,524 --> 01:31:28,483 Oh, Max, how horrible. 1807 01:31:28,526 --> 01:31:30,223 Well, he deserved it, 99. 1808 01:31:30,267 --> 01:31:32,356 He was nothing but a KAOS killer. 1809 01:31:32,399 --> 01:31:34,489 Sometimes I wonder if we're any better, Max. 1810 01:31:34,532 --> 01:31:35,968 What are you talking about, 99? 1811 01:31:36,012 --> 01:31:37,492 We have to kill and maim and destroy. 1812 01:31:37,535 --> 01:31:39,406 We stand for everything that's good and fine 1813 01:31:39,450 --> 01:31:41,800 and decent in the world. 1814 01:31:43,019 --> 01:31:46,152 Help is on the way and yuck. 1815 01:31:46,196 --> 01:31:47,414 Professor! 1816 01:31:47,458 --> 01:31:48,459 Are you okay? 1817 01:31:48,503 --> 01:31:49,895 I'm all right. 1818 01:31:51,201 --> 01:31:53,812 But I'm telling you, Beamish, a career change at my age 1819 01:31:53,856 --> 01:31:55,814 is not a good idea. 1820 01:31:55,858 --> 01:31:57,990 Oh, I'm aching, I'm paining. 1821 01:31:58,034 --> 01:32:00,471 However, Professor, we did save the world. 1822 01:32:00,515 --> 01:32:02,473 It wasn't worth it. 1823 01:32:02,517 --> 01:32:04,344 It's just like old times, Max. 1824 01:32:04,388 --> 01:32:05,389 We did it. 1825 01:32:05,432 --> 01:32:07,086 Let's do it again. 1826 01:32:08,566 --> 01:32:11,003 Max, Beamish and the professor are watching. 1827 01:32:11,047 --> 01:32:12,875 Let's wait until we get home. 1828 01:32:12,918 --> 01:32:13,528 I can't. 1829 01:32:22,232 --> 01:32:25,801 99, I love you better than the whole world. 1830 01:32:25,844 --> 01:32:28,020 Would you believe it, the whole world? 1831 01:32:28,064 --> 01:32:30,153 Oh, Max, I believe it. 130836

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