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Oh, it's a valentine from Ma.
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How do you know?
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Look, there's a Lee Press-On Nail stuck in the truffle.
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So, Fran, how come you don't like Valentine's Day?
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Oh, you know, everybody makes such a big deal
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about it being the most romantic day of the year.
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Meanwhile, I think it's very commercialized,
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and I just don't buy into it.
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Oh! I got a date for Valentine's Day!
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Oh, you know, it's the most romantic day of the year.
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Oh, what is it with girls and Valentine's Day?
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They send you those stupid cards,
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and then they expect you to, like,
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talk to them and ask them out.
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Well, I'm not doing it.
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No one sent you a card?
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No.
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How about you, Tommy?
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Well, we're friends and stuff,
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but I don't think I should be sending him a valentine.
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No.
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Honey, I... I meant, do you have a valentine?
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Oh, well, there is a girl that I sort of like,
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but I think she might be
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a little bit out of my league.
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She is.
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So, Fran, who's your date with?
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Oh, well, remember that really cute guy,
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Jeff, the cop that I went out with once?
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Oh, was that the date you had when I was in the third grade
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or the one you had when I was in the fourth?
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You wanna make it to the fifth?
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SINGER:♪♪ She was working in a bridal shop in Flushing, Queens ♪♪
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♪♪ 'Til her boyfriend kicked her out ♪♪
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♪♪ in one of those crushing scenes ♪♪
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♪♪ What was she to do? Where was she to go? ♪♪
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♪♪ She was out on her fanny ♪♪
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♪♪ So over the bridge from Flushing to the Sheffield's door ♪♪
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♪♪ She was there to sell makeup, but the father saw more ♪♪
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♪♪ She had style! She had flair! She was there! ♪♪
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♪♪ That's how she became the nanny! ♪♪
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♪♪ Who would have guessed that the girl we've described ♪♪
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♪♪ was just exactly what the doctor prescribed? ♪♪
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♪♪ Now the father finds her beguiling ♪♪
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♪♪ Watch out, C.C.! ♪♪
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♪♪ And the kids are actually smiling ♪♪
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♪♪ Such♪♪
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♪♪ She's the lady in red ♪♪
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♪♪ When everybody else is wearing tan ♪♪
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♪♪ The flashy girl from Flushing ♪♪
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♪♪ The nanny named Fran! ♪♪
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Knock-knock. Happy Monday before Valentine's Day, Mr. Sheffield.
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Care for a chocolate?
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That's caramel. That's nougat. That's mint.
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How do you know what's in them?
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I'm psychic.
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Don't turn them over.
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Miss Fine, could this sudden exuberance for the holiday
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have something to do with the fact
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that you actually have a date this year?
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Oh, please, come on, what do you... Yeah.
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What are you doing for the holiday?
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Well, I'll be working.
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I don't go in for all this Valentine's Day racket. It's-- It's so commercial.
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I used to feel that way, too.
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In fact, not 10 minutes ago.
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♪♪ What a difference a date makes ♪♪
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Good morning, everyone, isn't it a fabulous day?
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Oh, look, Miss Babcock's even in the spirit of it.
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You bet I am.
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They finally evicted that old lady
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in the apartment next to mine.
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We started breaking through the bedroom wall this morning.
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A bigger bedroom.
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Aren't we being a glutton for punishment?
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Oh, don't you have something to wax?
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I put that question to you.
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Mr. Sheffield, I hate to think about you sitting here all by yourself.
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You should be with someone you love on Valentine's Day.
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Well, I appreciate your concern, Miss Fine,
81
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but truthfully, there's no one I care enough about right now
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to spend Valentine's Day with.
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Oh, good news. You got the day off.
84
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You know, you're never gonna meet someone unless you take a chance.
85
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It doesn't matter who it is.
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Just put yourself out there.
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Well, I suppose there is that lady
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from the Shubert Organization.
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-Her? -Her?
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Oh, the redhead, sir?
91
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-If she ever gets those roots done. -Quite a figure, eh, Niles?
92
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She should lipo her butt.
93
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Oh, no. She's lovely.
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It's a very good choice.
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Yeah, you know, the thing is you just
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do something romantic, ask someone out.
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The redhead is fine.
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With that tuchus, I'm sure she likes ice cream.
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Fran, look at all these people.
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We're never gonna get on the first bus.
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Oh, don't worry. I'll take care of that.
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Can you believe that gorgeous two-bedroom apartment on the corner there
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for only 400 bucks a month?
104
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Oh, Val, could you believe how stupid those people... Val!
105
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There is no apartment, is there?
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Good, Val.
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Oh, I knew. I knew.
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Cause $400 a month is really good for two bedrooms.
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-Did it have a French... -No, Val!
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Gee, I hope I have exact change.
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Oh, what's this?
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Looky, a Valentine's card.
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"Dear Miss Fine, won't you be my valentine?
114
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"Meet me at the Sutton Ice Cream Parlor at 3:00
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"on the most romantic day of the year.
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"Love, your secret admirer."
117
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Oh, an anonymous valentine signed "Secret admirer."
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Who's it from?
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Val, you know, there was a wood-burning fireplace in that apartment.
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Val, look, it says, "Dear Miss Fine."
121
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This is either from Mr. Sheffield,
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or our old high school principal hasn't gotten over me
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wearing that tube top to Earth Day.
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Come on, Fran, Mr. Sheffield sent you a valentine?
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That's unbelievable.
126
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I know, isn't...
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No, it's not.
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I'm the one that put the whole idea in his head.
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I'm the one that told him to take the girl
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with the big bun out for ice cream.
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Listen, Flabbio,
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I want to be alone with Maxwell tonight.
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What's it gonna cost me to make you disappear?
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Try 50 bucks.
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Done.
136
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Okay.
137
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No, it didn't work. I'm still here.
138
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Oh, Miss Fine,
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would it be too forward of me to say, "Whoa, baby girl"?
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-You like? -Mmm-hmm.
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You know, this is the most fabulous dress I own.
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I only wear it when I have a very hot date.
143
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You know, Mr. Sheffield asked me out for Valentine's Day.
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That's impossible.
145
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Why does everybody find that so hard to believe?
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Well, it's just that he always tells me everything.
147
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Don't you mean you read his mail, listen at the door
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and eavesdrop on the intercom?
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Well, for backup.
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I can't believe he left me out of the loop.
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I don't care for this at all.
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Niles, any calls for me while I was out?
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Maybe yes, maybe no.
154
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Oh, Miss Fine, that is one sexy outfit.
155
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Oh, well, you know, I've got a hot date.
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Well, he's gonna be a very lucky man.
157
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Isn't someone being Mr. Optimism?
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Fran, I need you to help me think of an excuse.
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I've made two dates for Valentine's Day, and I've got to break one.
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Honey, shame on you.
161
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You know how many girls are out there starving?
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Now, you're gonna finish those two dates,
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and I don't want to hear another word about it.
164
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Huh. Can you believe that kid?
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I should have two dates on Valentine's Day.
166
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What time are you meeting Mr. Sheffield at Sutton's?
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-3:00. -Hmm.
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And what time are you meeting Jeff at Dominique's?
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2:30. Oh, my God, Jeff! What's this for?
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Well, you can't keep them both.
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It'll take you 20 minutes to get across town,
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and no one can eat a full five-course meal in under 10 minutes.
173
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You obviously have never broken
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the Yom Kippur fast at my mother's house.
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Oh, hi, Jeff.
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Thank you. You, too. Just lucky.
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What?
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Well, weren't you gonna say
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great dress, good to see you,
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and where'd you ever find a purse to match those shoes?
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Let's order.
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-All right, now, Fran. -Yes?
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You know, I got the whole afternoon off
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'cause I thought we'd have a nice, leisurely, romantic lunch.
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Absolutely. Waiter!
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How long does it take to make the capellini?
187
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I recommend the tri-color fusilli con fruta del mare...
188
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You know, that even takes too long to say.
189
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Sghettis. Vamatos. Vamatos.
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Fran, do you have some other place to be?
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No, of course not. There's no place
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I'd rather be than right here with you.
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♪♪ Oh, one last kiss ♪♪
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♪♪ Give me one last kiss ♪♪
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♪♪ It never felt like this ♪♪
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♪♪ No, never felt like this ♪♪
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♪♪ You know I need your love ♪♪
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♪♪ Oh, oh, oh! ♪♪
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♪♪ Oh, give me one last kiss ♪♪
200
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Can I get you anything while you wait?
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Oh, please, I'm stuffed.
202
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Oh, I see you've got a minimum.
203
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All right. You might as well bring me the Mount McKinley.
204
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You know, you don't have to order. We're not that busy.
205
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Oh, that's okay. I wouldn't want you to get into trouble.
206
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No. Really, it's okay.
207
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Rules are rules, honey.
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Don't be stingy on the nuts.
209
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There's a gentleman here for you,
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and he'd like you to close your eyes.
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Oh, okay.
212
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Oh, didn't we shave close today.
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Happy Valentine's Day.
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Oh, Tommy. Oh, that's so sweet.
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But, you know, if you don't mind,
216
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I'm waiting for Mr. Sheffield,
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and he ain't coming because you're my secret admirer.
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Yeah.
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Honey, I'm... I'm very flattered.
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If only you weren't 14.
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You know, we're six years apart.
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Val, Val, I gotta stop Mr. Sheffield's valentine
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before I make a total fool of myself.
224
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Why? Well, remember when you suggested
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that I give him a really big card?
226
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Well, I think I might have gone a little overboard.
227
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Val, I hope you bought enough paint,
228
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'cause we're really gonna have to paint
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over the entire billboard.
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Why do you always have to go over the top with men?
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I don't know.
232
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Ordinarily, I'm not a flashy person.
233
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You know me. Less is more.
234
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Now, come on, let's go before he gets
235
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a look at that thing on his way to work.
236
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Well, I'm off to the theatre.
237
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The theatre where your show is at?
238
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No. The theatre where they're showing that talking pig film.
239
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You know, every time I see it, I discover new things...
240
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Of course the theatre where my show is!
241
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Your 4:00 meeting is waiting in your office.
242
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Oh, Niles, I completely forgot it.
243
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Who's it with again?
244
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You have your secrets. I have mine.
245
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Just what is your bloody problem?
246
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Well, if you don't know, I'm not going to tell you.
247
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You are such a baby.
248
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-Am not. -Are, too.
249
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Good. This ought to buy us some time.
250
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Let's get out of here.
251
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Oh, you're back.
252
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So, how was your secret admirer?
253
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Did he smell good?
254
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I mean, I did tell him to shower after gym class.
255
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Oh! You knew about this?
256
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Yep.
257
00:14:17,116 --> 00:14:20,333
Pretty funny. Well, guess who's picking you up from school tomorrow?
258
00:14:20,366 --> 00:14:21,483
My mother.
259
00:14:24,300 --> 00:14:25,450
So?
260
00:14:25,483 --> 00:14:30,450
Straight from Jazzercize in her thong leotard.
261
00:14:33,266 --> 00:14:36,233
And you know, she don't wait outside neither.
262
00:14:36,266 --> 00:14:40,200
She'll want to come in and meet all your little friends.
263
00:14:42,300 --> 00:14:44,316
So?
264
00:14:44,350 --> 00:14:48,133
Maybe she'll even do her flash dance.
265
00:14:48,166 --> 00:14:51,116
You know, she's a maniac!
266
00:14:52,400 --> 00:14:55,400
No! I'm sorry. I'll be a good boy.
267
00:14:55,433 --> 00:14:59,183
Oh, well, it is too late for that, mister.
268
00:14:59,216 --> 00:15:01,266
You better start watching your back
269
00:15:01,300 --> 00:15:04,350
and sleeping with one eye opened,
270
00:15:04,383 --> 00:15:07,416
and brush your teeth after every meal!
271
00:15:07,450 --> 00:15:09,166
What? I'm still his nanny.
272
00:15:24,433 --> 00:15:29,366
Val, remind me next time to say it with flowers.
273
00:15:29,400 --> 00:15:32,000
I don't know, Fran. I don't see what the big deal is.
274
00:15:32,330 --> 00:15:34,383
I mean, I think it was a very nice gesture.
275
00:15:34,416 --> 00:15:38,133
Val, if he didn't send me a valentine card,
276
00:15:38,166 --> 00:15:41,330
then it's gonna seem like the act of a desperate woman.
277
00:15:41,660 --> 00:15:43,200
Yeah?
278
00:15:43,233 --> 00:15:45,483
Well, if Mr. Sheffield takes one look at this,
279
00:15:46,160 --> 00:15:48,330
he's gonna think that I'm in love with him.
280
00:15:48,660 --> 00:15:49,830
Aren't you?
281
00:15:49,116 --> 00:15:50,466
Not if he ain't in love with me!
282
00:15:53,830 --> 00:15:55,450
Now, come on, let's get started here.
283
00:15:55,483 --> 00:15:58,400
Wow! Look at the view from up here.
284
00:15:58,433 --> 00:16:01,160
You could see halfway to Jersey.
285
00:16:01,500 --> 00:16:03,466
Wow! You can see all the way into that apartment.
286
00:16:05,300 --> 00:16:07,330
[BOTH GROWLING]
287
00:16:11,183 --> 00:16:13,150
They rolled down onto the floor.
288
00:16:21,350 --> 00:16:24,660
Okay. There they are.
289
00:16:28,250 --> 00:16:30,350
I am sorry,
290
00:16:30,383 --> 00:16:34,160
but all men look great in a Lone Ranger mask.
291
00:16:36,300 --> 00:16:37,383
Oh, baby.
292
00:16:38,366 --> 00:16:40,330
Oh, okay.
293
00:16:40,660 --> 00:16:42,100
You know what? Let's get started. Let's do it already.
294
00:16:43,116 --> 00:16:44,216
Where's the paint?
295
00:16:44,250 --> 00:16:45,416
It's down there.
296
00:16:45,450 --> 00:16:46,450
Why?
297
00:16:49,133 --> 00:16:51,166
Well, you were in such a rush to get up here, I...
298
00:16:51,200 --> 00:16:53,283
It doesn't matter!
299
00:16:55,483 --> 00:16:58,216
Let's just go down and get it.
300
00:16:58,250 --> 00:17:00,266
Now, unlock your lever when I say "Three."
301
00:17:00,300 --> 00:17:02,350
Have you got that, Val? Three.
302
00:17:05,116 --> 00:17:06,233
[VAL SCREAMING]
303
00:17:06,266 --> 00:17:10,183
No, Val!
304
00:17:10,216 --> 00:17:12,383
VAL: I'm okay!
305
00:17:12,416 --> 00:17:15,466
I landed in someone's terrace garden!
306
00:17:16,000 --> 00:17:21,116
Oh, there's a party inside. Lots of cute guys.
307
00:17:21,150 --> 00:17:23,433
Get help!
308
00:17:23,466 --> 00:17:27,316
And phone numbers!
309
00:17:27,350 --> 00:17:32,116
In fact, there's no girls, just cute guys!
310
00:17:34,116 --> 00:17:35,333
Get recipes.
311
00:17:42,330 --> 00:17:44,250
Niles, Andrew Lloyd Webber just called.
312
00:17:44,283 --> 00:17:47,166
It appears I have a 40-foot valentine
313
00:17:47,200 --> 00:17:50,433
from Miss Fine on a billboard in Times Square.
314
00:17:50,466 --> 00:17:52,100
Isn't that amazing?
315
00:17:52,133 --> 00:17:54,216
Yes. He's a very busy man.
316
00:17:56,330 --> 00:17:58,266
He's gotCats PhantomSunset...
317
00:17:58,300 --> 00:18:00,300
Not that he called!
318
00:18:02,660 --> 00:18:04,160
Do you have any idea why Miss Fine did this?
319
00:18:04,500 --> 00:18:05,233
What's it worth to you?
320
00:18:05,266 --> 00:18:07,100
-Your job. -Here's the scoop.
321
00:18:09,300 --> 00:18:10,416
Miss Fine got a valentine
322
00:18:10,450 --> 00:18:12,416
from a secret admirer to meet her at Sutton's
323
00:18:12,450 --> 00:18:14,660
and thought it was you.
324
00:18:14,100 --> 00:18:15,466
Who was it from?
325
00:18:16,000 --> 00:18:17,466
Brighton's friend, Tommy Altman.
326
00:18:23,150 --> 00:18:24,350
Did... Did she go?
327
00:18:24,383 --> 00:18:26,116
[BOTH LAUGHING]
328
00:18:28,366 --> 00:18:31,400
Oh, no, no. Really, Niles. It's very sweet.
329
00:18:31,433 --> 00:18:34,400
I mean, no one's ever done anything like that for me before.
330
00:18:34,433 --> 00:18:36,400
-And what have I done for her? -Oh, the usual.
331
00:18:36,433 --> 00:18:38,233
Belittle her Valentine Day spirit
332
00:18:38,266 --> 00:18:40,266
and crush her heart beyond repair.
333
00:18:42,830 --> 00:18:43,660
She said that?
334
00:18:43,100 --> 00:18:44,283
No. I just threw that last part in
335
00:18:44,316 --> 00:18:46,200
'cause you called me a baby.
336
00:18:50,316 --> 00:18:51,483
All right. So where is she now?
337
00:18:52,160 --> 00:18:54,100
Well, she was so embarrassed that she got you a billboard
338
00:18:54,133 --> 00:18:55,383
and you did nothing for her
339
00:18:55,416 --> 00:18:58,660
that she'll probably be up there all night painting it over.
340
00:18:58,100 --> 00:19:01,366
Oh, that is one miserable way of spending Valentine's Day.
341
00:19:01,400 --> 00:19:03,150
Hello, hello.
342
00:19:03,183 --> 00:19:04,383
And here's another.
343
00:19:10,133 --> 00:19:13,333
Happy Valentine's Day, Maxwell.
344
00:19:13,366 --> 00:19:15,830
I thought while we were working,
345
00:19:15,116 --> 00:19:17,316
you might want something to nibble on.
346
00:19:20,166 --> 00:19:24,233
Oh, C.C. This basket is perfect!
347
00:19:25,416 --> 00:19:28,433
Oh, Maxwell,
348
00:19:28,466 --> 00:19:31,150
perhaps you should dim the lights.
349
00:19:37,316 --> 00:19:39,316
C.C.: Maxwell...
350
00:19:41,330 --> 00:19:42,116
Maxwell?
351
00:19:44,300 --> 00:19:47,216
Niles!
352
00:19:50,466 --> 00:19:53,483
Oh, my God!
353
00:19:55,160 --> 00:19:59,200
No one is going to believe this.
354
00:19:59,233 --> 00:20:02,233
How long can those two keep going?
355
00:20:05,216 --> 00:20:07,160
Miss Fine!
356
00:20:07,500 --> 00:20:09,350
Mr. Sheffield, what are you doing here?
357
00:20:09,383 --> 00:20:11,383
Niles told me about the sign.
358
00:20:13,100 --> 00:20:14,233
What sign?
359
00:20:15,433 --> 00:20:18,166
It was a lovely thought, Miss Fine.
360
00:20:18,200 --> 00:20:21,483
Care to join me for a picnic?
361
00:20:22,160 --> 00:20:27,830
Here? And now? On this billboard?
362
00:20:27,116 --> 00:20:30,250
Well, we've certainly...
363
00:20:30,283 --> 00:20:31,483
Certainly got the view.
364
00:20:32,160 --> 00:20:33,000
Yeah.
365
00:20:35,333 --> 00:20:39,160
Oh, good Lord! Don't look, Miss Fine.
366
00:20:39,500 --> 00:20:41,150
I'm so embarrassed.
367
00:20:43,133 --> 00:20:45,350
You know, Miss Fine, you were right.
368
00:20:45,383 --> 00:20:50,233
It appears I had forgotten the real meaning of Valentine's Day.
369
00:20:50,266 --> 00:20:54,133
But seeing it all from up here
370
00:20:54,166 --> 00:20:58,166
reminds me again of what it's all about.
371
00:20:58,200 --> 00:21:00,330
I'm over here, Mr. Sheffield.
372
00:21:00,660 --> 00:21:04,300
Oh, right. Well, I... I meant the billboard.
373
00:21:04,333 --> 00:21:07,366
You know, Miss Fine, it's... It's been a long time
374
00:21:07,400 --> 00:21:10,300
since anyone's made me feel...
375
00:21:10,333 --> 00:21:13,116
Well, quite like this.
376
00:21:13,450 --> 00:21:15,200
Oh.
377
00:21:15,233 --> 00:21:18,133
Happy Valentine's Day, Mr. Sheffield.
378
00:21:18,166 --> 00:21:22,233
Happy Valentine's Day, Miss Fine.
379
00:21:23,150 --> 00:21:25,183
[SIREN WAILING]
380
00:21:28,500 --> 00:21:30,466
OFFICER:Don't panic. We're here to rescue you.
381
00:21:42,466 --> 00:21:45,450
[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]
28381
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