All language subtitles for Acting Good s03e02 Baby Daddy Games.eng
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1
00:00:01,935 --> 00:00:03,103
Why�do�I�have�to�be�here?
2
00:00:03,136 --> 00:00:05,038
I'm�not�the�one
trying�to�get�pregnant.
3
00:00:05,071 --> 00:00:06,473
Shut�up,�Paul.
4
00:00:06,539 --> 00:00:09,242
We're�here�to�check
your�fertility.
5
00:00:09,275 --> 00:00:10,910
Doctors�are�just�perverts.
6
00:00:10,944 --> 00:00:13,079
They're�always�asking�me
to�take�off�my�shirt.
7
00:00:13,113 --> 00:00:16,216
How�about�you�take
your�shirt�off,�guy?
8
00:00:17,717 --> 00:00:18,952
Sorry�for�the�delay.
9
00:00:18,985 --> 00:00:21,654
Fuck�you,�man!
I'm�not�taking�off�my�shirt.
10
00:00:21,721 --> 00:00:22,822
That's�okay.
11
00:00:22,889 --> 00:00:25,425
We�have�your�sperm�test
results�back,
12
00:00:25,458 --> 00:00:27,460
and�your�count
is�at�one�million.
13
00:00:27,494 --> 00:00:29,429
Hell,�yeah.�I'm�going�platinum!
14
00:00:29,462 --> 00:00:30,663
(cackling)
15
00:00:30,730 --> 00:00:31,898
For�sperm,
that's�actually�a�low�number.
16
00:00:31,931 --> 00:00:34,601
There's�no�easy�way�to�put
this...
17
00:00:34,634 --> 00:00:35,635
but�you're�sterile.
18
00:00:35,668 --> 00:00:37,003
How�is�that�a�bad�thing?
19
00:00:37,070 --> 00:00:38,738
You're�constantly�telling�me
to�wash�my�hands.
20
00:00:38,772 --> 00:00:42,776
No,�dummy.
He�means�you're�shooting�blanks.
21
00:00:42,809 --> 00:00:44,177
I'm�sorry.
22
00:00:44,244 --> 00:00:45,812
Damn.
23
00:00:45,845 --> 00:00:47,814
You're�actually�due�for
a�medical�checkup.
24
00:00:47,847 --> 00:00:50,083
So,�if�I�can�get�you
to�take�off�your�shirt...
25
00:00:51,284 --> 00:00:54,354
Okay.�(chuckling)�Cool.
Cool,�cool,�cool.
26
00:00:56,656 --> 00:00:58,324
?�'Cause�I�can�love�you,�baby�?
27
00:01:00,860 --> 00:01:03,997
?�All�night�long�?
28
00:01:17,010 --> 00:01:19,712
Roger:�Not�sure�what's�going�on
out�there,�chief�and�council.
29
00:01:19,779 --> 00:01:22,549
Deedee�would�have�never�let
that�happen.
30
00:01:22,615 --> 00:01:24,050
Mn'ehh.
31
00:01:24,117 --> 00:01:26,953
Roger:�But�in�the�meantime,
here's�Guy�Ayii�and�the�VLTs
32
00:01:26,986 --> 00:01:30,490
with�their�smash�hit,
"Max�Bettin'�on�My�Heart."
33
00:01:30,523 --> 00:01:32,125
(knocking�on�door)
34
00:01:32,158 --> 00:01:33,827
'Morning,�Chief.
35
00:01:33,860 --> 00:01:35,562
You're�not�going�to
like�what�I'm�about�to�tell�you.
36
00:01:35,628 --> 00:01:37,063
Spit�it�out,�Lips.
37
00:01:37,130 --> 00:01:38,898
Willie�made�good�on�his�threat
to�go�on�strike.
38
00:01:38,965 --> 00:01:41,234
That�greasy�little�bastard!
39
00:01:41,301 --> 00:01:43,503
Garbage�is�piling�up�faster
than�gossip�on�a�bingo�night.
40
00:01:43,536 --> 00:01:47,807
He�did�it.
He�really�fok'n�did�it.
41
00:01:47,841 --> 00:01:49,342
Says�here�he's�not�budging
42
00:01:49,375 --> 00:01:51,845
until�he�gets�a�new�truck
and�an�apology.
43
00:01:51,878 --> 00:01:53,046
Jo,�what�you�going�to�do?
44
00:01:53,079 --> 00:01:55,548
I'll�tell�you�what�I�don't�do.
45
00:01:55,582 --> 00:01:57,250
(paper�crinkling)
46
00:01:57,317 --> 00:02:00,086
I�don't�negotiate
with�sanitationists.
47
00:02:00,153 --> 00:02:02,655
(paper�crinkling)
48
00:02:02,689 --> 00:02:05,492
I'll�collect�the�garbage�myself.
49
00:02:05,525 --> 00:02:08,328
Sometimes�a�chief
has�to�roll�up�their�sleeves
50
00:02:08,361 --> 00:02:10,697
and�get�their�hands�dirty.
51
00:02:10,730 --> 00:02:14,868
But�Jo,
you're�not�wearing�sleeves.
52
00:02:14,901 --> 00:02:16,536
-�(crow�cawing)
-�(dog�barking)
53
00:02:16,569 --> 00:02:20,940
Sterile?�Me?
It�doesn't�make�any�sense.
54
00:02:21,007 --> 00:02:22,408
Yeah,�it�does.
55
00:02:22,442 --> 00:02:24,844
You're�the�only�one�left
who�still�wears�tighty-whities.
56
00:02:24,878 --> 00:02:26,412
Which�is�crazy.
57
00:02:26,446 --> 00:02:29,282
I�can�get�a�year's�worth
for�less�than�$10.
58
00:02:29,349 --> 00:02:32,018
I'm�basically�making�money
at�this�point.
59
00:02:32,051 --> 00:02:34,621
I�mean,�even�that�pale,
sickly�guy�at�the�pawnshop
60
00:02:34,687 --> 00:02:37,056
warned�you�about�keeping
that�thing�on�your�lap.
61
00:02:39,058 --> 00:02:40,727
(low�thrumming)
62
00:02:40,760 --> 00:02:43,363
It�keeps�me�warm
in�the�wintertime.
63
00:02:43,396 --> 00:02:46,232
And�what�about�the�x-ray�machine
you�found?
64
00:02:46,266 --> 00:02:47,934
Paul:�What�about�it?
65
00:02:47,967 --> 00:02:50,136
This�thing�helps�me�see�what's
on�the�inside.
66
00:02:51,704 --> 00:02:55,808
You�know�why�you're�sterile?
Because�you're�stubborn.
67
00:02:55,875 --> 00:03:00,046
Rose,�I'm�going�to�need
some�time�alone�with�my�boys.
68
00:03:00,079 --> 00:03:03,216
Hey,�guys.�It's�me.
69
00:03:03,249 --> 00:03:05,051
Now,�you're�going�to�hear
some�rumours�around�town
70
00:03:05,084 --> 00:03:07,387
about�how�you�guys
are�a�bunch�of�losers.
71
00:03:07,420 --> 00:03:09,822
-�How�you�guys�are�washed-up.
-�(inspirational�music�plays)
72
00:03:09,889 --> 00:03:13,560
How�you�guys�are�no�damn�good.
73
00:03:13,593 --> 00:03:16,796
But�are�we�just�going�to
go�quietly�into�the�night,
74
00:03:16,829 --> 00:03:20,266
or�are�we�going�to�rise�up
and�fight?
75
00:03:20,300 --> 00:03:21,501
Are�we�going�to�pack�it�all�in?
76
00:03:21,568 --> 00:03:23,002
We're�getting�a�sperm�donor.
77
00:03:23,069 --> 00:03:26,839
Fok�sakes.
78
00:03:28,775 --> 00:03:32,145
Ah,�Chief�Jo.�Come�to�negotiate?
79
00:03:32,178 --> 00:03:35,181
Not�at�all,�trash�boy.
Get�out�of�my�way.
80
00:03:35,248 --> 00:03:38,484
Oh,�I�see�how�it�is.
81
00:03:38,518 --> 00:03:41,120
Using�your�own�truck
to�pick�up�trash.
82
00:03:41,154 --> 00:03:43,022
Must�be�easier�to�see
when�you�don't�got�flies
83
00:03:43,089 --> 00:03:45,592
having�an�orgy�on�your�face.
84
00:03:45,625 --> 00:03:47,260
Willie:�Ah�kijeet.
85
00:03:47,293 --> 00:03:49,429
Oh,�oh,�oh.
86
00:03:49,462 --> 00:03:51,798
Oh,�it's�so�hard.�Ugh.�Oh.
87
00:03:51,831 --> 00:03:53,466
You�think�this�is�funny?
88
00:03:54,701 --> 00:03:58,671
Crossing�the�picket�line...
is�no�joke.
89
00:03:58,705 --> 00:04:00,206
She�takes�the�ball
into�the�paint.
90
00:04:00,273 --> 00:04:01,841
Four�seconds�left�on�the�clock.
91
00:04:01,874 --> 00:04:03,343
Don't�make�me�do�it.
92
00:04:03,376 --> 00:04:05,378
Pump-fakes.
Pivots.�Fades�away!
93
00:04:05,445 --> 00:04:08,781
-�Oh!
-�(moaning)
94
00:04:08,815 --> 00:04:10,149
How's�your�ankle?
95
00:04:10,183 --> 00:04:12,352
Where's�the�whistle?
That�was�travelling.
96
00:04:12,385 --> 00:04:13,620
-�As�if.
-�Okay.
97
00:04:13,653 --> 00:04:16,656
I�didn't�want�to
have�to�do�this,
98
00:04:16,689 --> 00:04:19,525
but�you�brought�it�on
yourself,�Jo.
99
00:04:21,361 --> 00:04:24,364
Brother�crows!�I�summon�you.
100
00:04:24,397 --> 00:04:25,832
Attack!
101
00:04:29,335 --> 00:04:30,970
I�said�attack.
102
00:04:31,004 --> 00:04:32,639
Mn'ehh.
103
00:04:34,140 --> 00:04:36,909
Caw!
104
00:04:36,976 --> 00:04:39,045
Ribbit?
105
00:04:39,078 --> 00:04:41,014
Do�you�have�any�bologna?
106
00:04:41,047 --> 00:04:43,516
Uh,�yes,�we�do.
In�the�back�refrigerator.
107
00:04:45,718 --> 00:04:48,554
Man,�you're�slipping.
108
00:04:48,588 --> 00:04:51,157
Dude�asks�for�bologna,
and�you're�supposed�to�say...
109
00:04:51,190 --> 00:04:52,692
..."Yeah,�man."
110
00:04:52,725 --> 00:04:54,227
Speaking�of�stiff,
111
00:04:54,260 --> 00:04:55,695
this�place�needs
to�lighten�up,�man.
112
00:04:55,728 --> 00:04:57,730
It's�too�much�like...�you.
113
00:04:57,764 --> 00:04:59,666
Well,�if�by�that
you�mean�barely�hanging�on,
114
00:04:59,699 --> 00:05:00,700
you're�right.
115
00:05:00,733 --> 00:05:05,004
Yeah.�The�store�is�too�store-y.
116
00:05:05,038 --> 00:05:08,775
People�come�in�here,�they
buy�shit,�and�then�they�leave.
117
00:05:08,841 --> 00:05:09,942
What's�up�with�that?
118
00:05:10,009 --> 00:05:13,379
Well,�uh,�that�is
how�a�store�works,�Dean.
119
00:05:13,413 --> 00:05:15,248
But�picture�this,�man.
120
00:05:15,281 --> 00:05:17,717
People�come�in�here
and�shoot�the�shit.
121
00:05:17,750 --> 00:05:20,186
Nobody�here
is�shooting�the�shit.
122
00:05:20,219 --> 00:05:21,754
We�need�more�shit-shooting.
123
00:05:21,788 --> 00:05:23,890
Okay.
With�all�due�respect,�Dean,
124
00:05:23,923 --> 00:05:25,558
we�can't�sell�shit-shooting,
okay?
125
00:05:25,591 --> 00:05:27,894
I�think�you're�on
the�wrong�page,�bro.
126
00:05:27,927 --> 00:05:31,097
You're�talking�money-making
and�I'm�talking�shit-shooting.
127
00:05:41,240 --> 00:05:42,642
Okay,�then.
128
00:05:44,444 --> 00:05:46,279
Have�you�seen�the�latest
revenge�karate�movie,
129
00:05:46,312 --> 00:05:47,380
The�Killer�Backers?
130
00:05:47,413 --> 00:05:49,248
-�Yeah.
-�All�right.
131
00:05:49,282 --> 00:05:51,284
This�is�the�life�you�chose,
Greg.
132
00:05:53,386 --> 00:05:55,955
Oh,�hey,�Paul.�This�is�Theland.
133
00:05:55,988 --> 00:05:57,256
-�(Wolf�howls)
-�Whispering�voice:�Aki.
134
00:05:59,225 --> 00:06:02,662
Yes.�Theland.
Spelled�"The�land."
135
00:06:03,730 --> 00:06:05,431
-�(Wolf�howls)
-�Whispering�voice:�Aki.
136
00:06:05,465 --> 00:06:07,967
Isn't�he�great?
137
00:06:08,000 --> 00:06:11,337
And�guess�what.�Theland
has�just�agreed�to�be�our�donor.
138
00:06:11,404 --> 00:06:13,506
Hmm.�Don't�you�think
this�is�something
139
00:06:13,573 --> 00:06:15,942
we�both�should've�talked�about?
140
00:06:15,975 --> 00:06:17,977
You�know�how�much�communication
means�to�me.
141
00:06:18,010 --> 00:06:20,580
Says�the�guy�who�started
a�speakeasy.
142
00:06:20,613 --> 00:06:22,815
You�got�to�stop�living
in�the�past.
143
00:06:22,849 --> 00:06:24,283
I'm�past�the�past.
144
00:06:24,317 --> 00:06:26,819
This�guy�has
all�the�DNA�we�need.
145
00:06:26,853 --> 00:06:29,155
He's...�okay.
146
00:06:29,188 --> 00:06:30,289
Okay?
147
00:06:30,323 --> 00:06:31,958
He�just�finished�making
a�spice�rack
148
00:06:31,991 --> 00:06:33,025
while�we�were�arguing.
149
00:06:33,092 --> 00:06:34,761
(chuckling)
150
00:06:34,794 --> 00:06:37,330
Too�bad�we�don't�have
any�spices.
151
00:06:37,363 --> 00:06:38,965
Stop�it.�He's�perfect.
152
00:06:38,998 --> 00:06:42,702
All�I'm�saying�is,�you�can't
pick�the�first�guy�you�see.
153
00:06:42,769 --> 00:06:44,871
It's�like�picking�up�the
first�melon�at�the�fruit�stand.
154
00:06:44,937 --> 00:06:47,006
We�don't�even�know
if�this�guy's�ripe.
155
00:06:47,039 --> 00:06:48,374
As�if�you�buy�fruit.
156
00:06:48,441 --> 00:06:51,144
All�I'm�saying
is�we�only�have�one�melon.
157
00:06:51,177 --> 00:06:54,013
I�think�I�deserve�to�go�and�find
my�own�melon.
158
00:06:54,046 --> 00:06:57,784
We�have�a�perfectly�ripe�melon,
so�full�of�juice.
159
00:06:57,817 --> 00:06:59,619
Humph.�Says�you.
160
00:06:59,652 --> 00:07:03,890
Well,�good�luck�finding�a�melon
in�a�rez�full�of�potatoes.
161
00:07:03,956 --> 00:07:06,159
Sometimes,
those�potatoes�turn�into�chips
162
00:07:06,192 --> 00:07:08,194
and�beautiful�French�fries.
163
00:07:08,227 --> 00:07:12,732
Melons?�Hmm.�They�just�go�mouldy
and�taste�sour.
164
00:07:15,701 --> 00:07:18,004
Open�the�damn�gate,�Willie.
165
00:07:18,037 --> 00:07:20,306
Sorry,�Jo.
The�crows�have�spoken.
166
00:07:20,339 --> 00:07:21,407
(cawing)
167
00:07:21,474 --> 00:07:23,643
Oh,�fok�off.
168
00:07:23,676 --> 00:07:25,812
Where�am�I�supposed�to
put�the�garbage,�then?
169
00:07:25,845 --> 00:07:28,548
You're�a�waste-keeper�now.
Figure�it�out.
170
00:07:28,581 --> 00:07:30,683
(laughing)
171
00:07:30,716 --> 00:07:33,753
Come�on,�guys.�Let's�go�get
some�of�that�soup,�eh?
172
00:07:33,820 --> 00:07:34,754
Oh,�hey.�You�know�what?
173
00:07:34,821 --> 00:07:36,389
Oh,�literally,
yous�don't�say?
174
00:07:36,422 --> 00:07:39,091
That's�a�good�one,�Joey...
(Willie�muttering�indistinctly)
175
00:07:39,158 --> 00:07:42,061
(mockingly)�You're�a
waste-keeper�now.�Figure�it�out.
176
00:07:42,094 --> 00:07:43,196
Fok'n�Willie.
177
00:07:45,031 --> 00:07:46,566
:
Nah,�man.
178
00:07:46,599 --> 00:07:48,401
The�toughest�white�guy
to�play�a�Native�is�Billy�Jack.
179
00:07:48,434 --> 00:07:51,504
Don't�come�at�me�with�this
Johnny�Depp,�Lone�Ranger�shit.
180
00:07:51,537 --> 00:07:53,372
Uh,�Dean,�can�we�talk?
181
00:07:53,406 --> 00:07:54,874
What's�up,�man?
182
00:07:54,907 --> 00:07:56,442
So,�I�don't�know�if�you�noticed,
183
00:07:56,509 --> 00:07:59,545
but�the�hang-out�spot
has�become�the�hang-out�store.
184
00:07:59,579 --> 00:08:00,780
Yeah.�What's�the�problem,�man?
185
00:08:00,847 --> 00:08:02,215
The�place�is�packed.
That's�how�you�business.
186
00:08:02,248 --> 00:08:04,016
Well,�the�problem�is�that
none�of�these�people
187
00:08:04,050 --> 00:08:05,284
are�buying�anything.
188
00:08:05,351 --> 00:08:07,053
Oh,�man.�I'm�in�the�middle
of�shit-shooting,
189
00:08:07,086 --> 00:08:08,788
and�you're�coming�at�me
with�all�this�Greg�talk.
190
00:08:08,855 --> 00:08:10,523
I�think�we�might�even�be
over�capacity.
191
00:08:10,556 --> 00:08:12,225
Ah,�don't�worry�about�it,�man.
The�fire�marshal's�here,
192
00:08:12,258 --> 00:08:13,426
he�would�have
said�something�by�now.
193
00:08:13,459 --> 00:08:15,728
(chattering)
194
00:08:15,761 --> 00:08:17,864
Hang�on,�man.�Oh,�right,�right.
195
00:08:17,897 --> 00:08:20,633
There's�no�way�six�gorillas
can�take�on�25�chimps.
196
00:08:20,700 --> 00:08:22,468
Based�on�what?
197
00:08:24,904 --> 00:08:27,106
That�was
the�Local�244�Beading�Union.
198
00:08:27,139 --> 00:08:29,375
Did�you�buy�a�pair
of�beaded�earrings�from�Russia?
199
00:08:29,408 --> 00:08:31,444
Fucking�Willie
leaked�that�receipt.
200
00:08:31,477 --> 00:08:33,713
That�stinky�little�bastard!
201
00:08:33,746 --> 00:08:34,947
Jo,�this�is�big.
202
00:08:36,649 --> 00:08:38,584
They�were�$5.
203
00:08:38,618 --> 00:08:39,719
(phone�ringing)
204
00:08:39,752 --> 00:08:41,654
Hello?
205
00:08:41,721 --> 00:08:43,990
I'll�look�right�into�that.
206
00:08:44,056 --> 00:08:46,626
Jo,�did�you�just�dump
a�bunch�of�garbage�bags
207
00:08:46,659 --> 00:08:48,060
right�out�in�the�open?
208
00:08:48,094 --> 00:08:49,962
I�got�a�community�member
on�the�phone�that�says�you�did.
209
00:08:49,996 --> 00:08:52,265
I�left�the�trash
outside�the�dump
210
00:08:52,298 --> 00:08:54,400
because�Willie�locked�the�gates.
211
00:08:54,433 --> 00:08:56,302
Well,�a�bunch�of�rez�dogs
tore�into�it,
212
00:08:56,335 --> 00:08:58,004
and�now,
there's�garbage�everywhere.
213
00:08:58,070 --> 00:08:59,405
Jo,�this�is�big.
214
00:08:59,438 --> 00:09:01,274
Jo:
Ah,�for�fok's�sake.
215
00:09:01,307 --> 00:09:02,808
(phone�ringing)
216
00:09:02,842 --> 00:09:05,578
Hello.
217
00:09:05,611 --> 00:09:07,246
Are�you�serious?
218
00:09:07,280 --> 00:09:08,447
Well,�that's�not�good.
219
00:09:10,182 --> 00:09:11,250
Wrong�number.
220
00:09:11,284 --> 00:09:13,185
Jo,�that's�big.
221
00:09:15,488 --> 00:09:17,456
What�about�those�guys?
Do�they�look�like�dad�material?
222
00:09:17,490 --> 00:09:18,791
Paul:
No�way,�man.
223
00:09:18,824 --> 00:09:21,661
My�baby�has�to�have
the�coolest�DNA.
224
00:09:21,694 --> 00:09:24,597
It's�got�to�reek�of�coolness.
225
00:09:24,630 --> 00:09:26,632
Got�it.�Reeks�of�coolness.
226
00:09:26,666 --> 00:09:28,634
-�Those�guys�look�really�cool.
-�No�way,�man.
227
00:09:28,668 --> 00:09:30,803
That�guy�looks�like�he�reads.
228
00:09:30,836 --> 00:09:32,838
Nobody�likes�a�know-it-all.
229
00:09:32,872 --> 00:09:34,106
No�know-it-alls.�Got�it.
230
00:09:34,140 --> 00:09:35,875
And�this�guy?�Way�too�tall.
231
00:09:35,942 --> 00:09:38,277
It's�too�risky.�I�don't�want
my�kid�to�beat�me�up
232
00:09:38,311 --> 00:09:39,612
by�the�time
he's�eight�years�old.
233
00:09:39,645 --> 00:09:40,680
Tall�equals�bad.
234
00:09:40,713 --> 00:09:41,781
Fuck,�Stephen�Harper.
235
00:09:41,814 --> 00:09:44,050
Where�are�we�going�to
find�a�cool�guy
236
00:09:44,116 --> 00:09:46,352
that�doesn't�give�a�fuck,
and�says
237
00:09:46,385 --> 00:09:48,220
cool�things,�like,
238
00:09:48,287 --> 00:09:51,691
"Whatever,�man"
or�"That's�bunk"?
239
00:09:51,724 --> 00:09:54,226
It'll�take�years�before�we�find
someone�like�that.
240
00:09:54,293 --> 00:09:56,128
Dean:
Hey,�man.
241
00:09:56,162 --> 00:09:57,530
You�can't�be�smoking�candied
cigarettes�in�here,�bro.
242
00:09:57,563 --> 00:10:00,333
(cackling)
243
00:10:00,366 --> 00:10:03,202
Whatever,�old�man.�That's�bunk.
244
00:10:07,640 --> 00:10:11,143
Both:
Fucking�cool,�man!
245
00:10:11,177 --> 00:10:12,979
-�(birds�chirping)
-�(sighing)
246
00:10:13,012 --> 00:10:16,048
(phone�ringing)
247
00:10:16,082 --> 00:10:18,150
(dog�barking�in�the�distance)
248
00:10:20,186 --> 00:10:21,721
(splashing)
249
00:10:24,256 --> 00:10:28,828
Hey,�Chief.
You�and�me.�Let's�talk.
250
00:10:31,397 --> 00:10:35,701
Rose,�are�you�ready�to�meet
my�melon?
251
00:10:35,735 --> 00:10:40,206
Say�hello
to�Lyle�the�cool�guy.�Ha.
252
00:10:41,941 --> 00:10:43,009
Cool,�right?
253
00:10:43,042 --> 00:10:45,911
I�guess.
I�mean,�he's�no�Theland.
254
00:10:45,945 --> 00:10:48,114
What�the�fok
is�he�still�doing�here?
255
00:10:48,180 --> 00:10:49,548
He's�making�us�lacrosse�sticks.
256
00:10:49,582 --> 00:10:51,117
Yeah.
I�even�made�one�for�the�baby.
257
00:10:51,183 --> 00:10:54,020
Well,�Lyle's�got�some�cool�shit,
too.�Right,�Lyle?�Show�them.
258
00:10:54,053 --> 00:10:56,889
I�have.
259
00:10:56,922 --> 00:10:58,290
What�the�fuck?
260
00:10:58,357 --> 00:11:00,292
You�can't�give�nunchucks
to�a�baby,�man!
261
00:11:00,359 --> 00:11:02,094
Whatever,�old�man.�That's�bunk.
262
00:11:03,629 --> 00:11:04,730
Paul:
Come�on.�Get�up.
263
00:11:04,764 --> 00:11:06,232
Go�make�a�spice�rack
or�something.
264
00:11:06,265 --> 00:11:07,600
Whoa.�I�just�cleaned�here.
265
00:11:07,633 --> 00:11:09,902
Come�on.�Whatever,�man.
Hey.�Oh.
266
00:11:09,935 --> 00:11:12,104
You�guys�got�any�movies
or�anything?
267
00:11:12,138 --> 00:11:13,239
You�ever�seen�The�Crow?
268
00:11:13,272 --> 00:11:15,041
No,�man.
We�don't�have�The�Crow.
269
00:11:15,074 --> 00:11:17,376
What?
270
00:11:17,410 --> 00:11:18,611
What�the�hell�is�wrong,�man?
271
00:11:18,644 --> 00:11:20,146
You�haven't�seen�The�Crow?
272
00:11:20,212 --> 00:11:22,548
Would�you�shut�up
about�The�Crow�already?
273
00:11:22,581 --> 00:11:23,616
Fucking�bunk.
274
00:11:23,649 --> 00:11:25,885
Hey.�Come�on,�babe.
275
00:11:25,918 --> 00:11:28,554
I�mean,�It's�pretty�obvious
who�the�donor�is�here.
276
00:11:28,587 --> 00:11:30,456
I�don't�think
it's�obvious�at�all.
277
00:11:30,489 --> 00:11:32,591
But�it's�been�out�for,�like,
30�years.
278
00:11:32,625 --> 00:11:35,428
I�have�the�perfect�guy.
Why�are�you�fighting�me�on�this?
279
00:11:35,461 --> 00:11:37,463
No,�babe.
I�have�the�perfect�guy.
280
00:11:37,496 --> 00:11:39,799
It's�literally�out
on�every�format!
281
00:11:39,832 --> 00:11:42,234
Blu-ray,�DVD,�Laserdisc.
282
00:11:42,268 --> 00:11:43,636
Hmm.
283
00:11:43,669 --> 00:11:46,105
Fine.�We'll�settle�this
with�a�competition.
284
00:11:46,138 --> 00:11:48,407
-�Winner�is�the�donor.
-�You're�on!
285
00:11:48,441 --> 00:11:49,675
Oh,�oh.
286
00:11:49,742 --> 00:11:51,577
Tell�me�you've�at�least�heard
the�soundtrack.
287
00:11:52,812 --> 00:11:55,781
Aw!�Come�on!
288
00:11:55,815 --> 00:11:57,116
(shouting)
289
00:11:57,149 --> 00:11:59,518
(birds�chirping)
290
00:11:59,585 --> 00:12:01,787
What�are�we�even�doing�here,
Deedee?
291
00:12:01,821 --> 00:12:04,623
I�knew�you'd�be�out�here
all�sad-arse,
292
00:12:04,657 --> 00:12:06,158
wishing�you�never�became�chief.
293
00:12:06,192 --> 00:12:07,493
How'd�you�know�that?
294
00:12:07,526 --> 00:12:09,328
-�Same�thing�happened�to�me.
-�Really?
295
00:12:09,361 --> 00:12:12,131
Nah.�I'm�just�trying�to
make�you�feel�better.
296
00:12:12,164 --> 00:12:14,166
Listen,�Jo.
297
00:12:14,200 --> 00:12:16,435
I�want�to�give�you
some�chief�advice.
298
00:12:16,469 --> 00:12:18,137
From�former�chief�to�chief.
299
00:12:19,472 --> 00:12:22,708
When�times�get�tough,
play�the�guitar?
300
00:12:22,775 --> 00:12:27,346
Not�quite,�but�that�did�work�out
pretty�well�for�me.
301
00:12:27,379 --> 00:12:31,450
No.�You�need�to�give
in�to�the�power�of...
302
00:12:31,484 --> 00:12:34,487
maanoo.
303
00:12:34,520 --> 00:12:36,021
Maanoo?
304
00:12:36,055 --> 00:12:37,556
Yeah.
305
00:12:37,623 --> 00:12:41,494
It�means�"let�it�be,"�but
really,�it's�a�frame�of�mind.
306
00:12:41,527 --> 00:12:46,398
Sometimes,�the�victory
does�not�lie�in�the�outcome,
307
00:12:46,465 --> 00:12:49,568
but�in�the�acceptance
of�what�is.
308
00:12:49,635 --> 00:12:53,339
So,�how�do�I�"maanoo"�myself
309
00:12:53,372 --> 00:12:55,307
out�of�a�garbage�strike?
310
00:12:55,341 --> 00:12:57,376
That's�easy.
Did�you�eat�Willie's�soup?
311
00:12:57,409 --> 00:12:59,311
His�what?
312
00:12:59,345 --> 00:13:02,081
When�you�visited�the�dump,
he�offered�you�some�soup,�right?
313
00:13:02,148 --> 00:13:05,251
Yeah,�but�I'm�not�going�to�eat
that�witches�brew.
314
00:13:05,317 --> 00:13:07,486
That's�the�problem.
315
00:13:07,520 --> 00:13:09,588
This�was�never�about�a�truck.
316
00:13:09,655 --> 00:13:12,558
Willie,�he�just�wants�respect.
317
00:13:12,591 --> 00:13:16,862
So,�buck�up,
eat�the�damn�soup,
318
00:13:16,896 --> 00:13:18,597
and�maanoo.
319
00:13:20,332 --> 00:13:23,435
I�know�some�of�you�are�asking
yourselves�why�you're�here.
320
00:13:23,502 --> 00:13:24,937
-�I�know�I�am.
-�(clearing�throat)
321
00:13:25,004 --> 00:13:28,340
Paul�and�I�are�going�to�decide
on�our�donor�for�our�kid.
322
00:13:28,374 --> 00:13:29,842
-�Really?
-�Yeah.
323
00:13:29,875 --> 00:13:33,379
Like�this?�Okay.
324
00:13:33,412 --> 00:13:36,715
Welcome�to�the�baby�daddy�games,
I�guess.
325
00:13:36,749 --> 00:13:38,751
Who�will�win�the�right�to�be
326
00:13:38,784 --> 00:13:41,787
Paul�and�Rose's�sperm�donor,
and--
327
00:13:41,854 --> 00:13:44,523
And�how�is�this
supposed�to�work?
328
00:13:44,557 --> 00:13:45,758
-�Just�let�me�do�it.
-�Oh.
329
00:13:45,791 --> 00:13:46,926
(clearing�throat)
330
00:13:46,959 --> 00:13:50,229
Hi,�everyone.
So,�Paul�is�sterile.
331
00:13:50,262 --> 00:13:52,698
(cheering�and�applause)
332
00:13:52,731 --> 00:13:55,201
Let�me�finish.�That's�not
the�only�reason�why�we're�here.
333
00:13:55,234 --> 00:13:56,802
(groaning)
334
00:13:56,869 --> 00:14:00,472
We�couldn't�decide�on�our�donor,
so�our�two�choices
335
00:14:00,539 --> 00:14:02,908
are�going�to�compete
against�each�other.
336
00:14:02,942 --> 00:14:07,279
My�choice�is�Theland,
spelled�"The�land."
337
00:14:07,313 --> 00:14:11,050
-�Whispering�voice:�Aki.
-�(cheering�and�applause)
338
00:14:11,083 --> 00:14:12,384
Paul:
Hmm.
339
00:14:12,418 --> 00:14:16,055
And�my�choice�is�Lyle.
340
00:14:16,088 --> 00:14:19,959
But�you�already�know�him�as
the�coolest�guy�in�Grouse�Lake.
341
00:14:19,992 --> 00:14:21,160
Get�out�here,�Lyle.
342
00:14:21,227 --> 00:14:23,395
-�(scattered�applause)
-�Yeah.
343
00:14:23,429 --> 00:14:26,632
What�the�hell,�man?
You�painted�your�face?
344
00:14:26,665 --> 00:14:28,234
Yeah.�It�makes�me�look�cool.
345
00:14:28,267 --> 00:14:30,002
Nah.�You're�scaring�everybody.
346
00:14:30,069 --> 00:14:31,904
Aw,�fuck.�It's�hot,�man.
347
00:14:31,937 --> 00:14:33,239
Yeah.�You're�wearing�a�trench.
348
00:14:33,272 --> 00:14:34,640
Ah,�fuck.�I�need�a�chair.
349
00:14:34,673 --> 00:14:36,609
Start�the�games,�Roger.
350
00:14:36,642 --> 00:14:40,279
Okay.�Let's�start�the�games.
351
00:14:40,312 --> 00:14:41,347
(cheering�and�applause)
352
00:14:41,413 --> 00:14:43,782
I've�been�told
that�the�first�event
353
00:14:43,816 --> 00:14:46,252
is�the�swimsuit�competition.
354
00:14:46,285 --> 00:14:48,821
(cheering�and�applause)
355
00:14:52,625 --> 00:14:56,328
(cheering�and�applause
continues)
356
00:14:56,362 --> 00:14:58,030
Greg:
Okay.�Uh,
357
00:14:58,097 --> 00:15:00,032
he�would�rather�get�run�over
by�a�tank
358
00:15:00,099 --> 00:15:01,934
than�sliced�up�by�a�helicopter.
359
00:15:01,967 --> 00:15:03,102
(laughing�nervously)
360
00:15:03,135 --> 00:15:04,203
Dean,
I�know�you're�shooting�the�shit,
361
00:15:04,270 --> 00:15:05,537
but�we�really�need�to�talk.
362
00:15:05,604 --> 00:15:08,040
I'm�just�saying,�the�store
has�never�been�busier.
363
00:15:08,107 --> 00:15:10,542
(whispering)�But�nobody�here
is�spending�a�cent.
364
00:15:10,609 --> 00:15:13,779
Well,�you're�the�corporate
sellout,�buttoned-down,
365
00:15:13,812 --> 00:15:15,514
corn-fed,�uptight,
366
00:15:15,547 --> 00:15:17,950
button-pushing,
marshmallow�motherfucker.
367
00:15:17,983 --> 00:15:20,452
-�Right.
-�What�do�we�do?
368
00:15:20,486 --> 00:15:22,788
We�could�at�least�charge
for�the�coffee.
369
00:15:23,856 --> 00:15:26,325
All�right.�Fine.
370
00:15:26,358 --> 00:15:28,794
Excuse�me.
371
00:15:31,864 --> 00:15:34,066
Dean:
"Free�coffee�with�purchase"?
372
00:15:35,868 --> 00:15:37,236
There.
373
00:15:39,738 --> 00:15:42,007
Nice�job,�bro.
374
00:15:42,041 --> 00:15:44,543
(playing�flute)
375
00:15:48,080 --> 00:15:51,650
Someone�give�this�man's�sperm
an�egg�already.
376
00:15:51,684 --> 00:15:53,886
(crying)
377
00:15:53,919 --> 00:15:57,222
So,�what's�Lyle�going�to�do?
378
00:15:57,256 --> 00:16:00,693
Oh,�he's�going�to�blow�you�away.
He's�got�something�huge�planned.
379
00:16:00,726 --> 00:16:02,328
Get�up�there,�Lyle!
380
00:16:04,229 --> 00:16:08,334
Now,�imagine�you're�watching
381
00:16:08,367 --> 00:16:10,269
the�movie�The�Crow,
382
00:16:10,336 --> 00:16:12,037
but�just
all�the�cool�fighting�parts.
383
00:16:12,071 --> 00:16:13,405
Ah,�for�fuck--
384
00:16:13,439 --> 00:16:15,874
And�imagine
all�the�cool�fighting�parts
385
00:16:15,908 --> 00:16:17,009
are�played�by�me.
386
00:16:17,042 --> 00:16:18,410
Hit�it!
387
00:16:19,945 --> 00:16:21,914
-�(industrial�music�playing)
-�(grunting)
388
00:16:21,947 --> 00:16:23,382
This�guy�comes�in,
and�he's,�like,
389
00:16:23,415 --> 00:16:26,118
"Boof-boof-boof!�Boof-boof.
390
00:16:26,185 --> 00:16:29,288
"That's�what�you�get�for
killing�me�and�my�hot�fianc�e.
391
00:16:29,355 --> 00:16:32,057
Boof-boof-boof!�Boof.�Boof!"
392
00:16:32,091 --> 00:16:33,592
(crow�cawing)
393
00:16:33,625 --> 00:16:35,794
What's�that?�Is�that�a�crow?
394
00:16:35,861 --> 00:16:38,230
(imitating�crow�cawing)
395
00:16:38,263 --> 00:16:39,965
Oh,�my�ankle!
396
00:16:40,032 --> 00:16:41,867
Oh,�fuck.
397
00:16:41,900 --> 00:16:43,469
Hey.�That's�not�in�the�movie.
398
00:16:45,371 --> 00:16:46,872
Come�on.�You�gotta�get�up,
399
00:16:46,905 --> 00:16:49,274
or�my�baby�is�gonna�be�riddled
with�that�perfect�man's�DNA.
400
00:16:49,341 --> 00:16:51,377
No.�I�can't�do�it,�man.
My�ankle's�fucked.
401
00:16:51,410 --> 00:16:52,411
Nah.
402
00:16:52,444 --> 00:16:54,013
You're�fine.�(chuckling)
403
00:16:54,046 --> 00:16:56,115
-�Are�you�okay?
-�Looks�like�Lyle�is�out.
404
00:16:56,181 --> 00:16:58,083
Which�means�Theland�wins.
405
00:16:58,117 --> 00:17:01,220
Paul:�Hold�on.�The�last�round
is�the�interview�round,�right?
406
00:17:01,253 --> 00:17:03,856
I�don't�know.�Is�it?
I'm�just�learning�as�I�go.
407
00:17:03,889 --> 00:17:05,891
Argh.�He's�right.
The�best�answer�wins.
408
00:17:05,924 --> 00:17:08,460
And�Lyle�doesn't�need�his�ankle
to�answer�the�questions.
409
00:17:08,527 --> 00:17:10,195
-�Right,�Lyle?
-�(Grunting)
410
00:17:10,229 --> 00:17:11,697
Roger:�Okan�iwe.
411
00:17:13,265 --> 00:17:14,400
Crowd:
Oh!
412
00:17:14,433 --> 00:17:15,734
(gagging)
413
00:17:18,203 --> 00:17:20,072
What�did�we�learn�today?
414
00:17:20,105 --> 00:17:22,074
That's�easy,�man.
415
00:17:22,107 --> 00:17:26,311
25�chimps�can�easily�take
six�gorillas.
416
00:17:26,378 --> 00:17:27,813
I�meant�the�store.
417
00:17:27,880 --> 00:17:29,882
Oh,�yeah.�Right.
418
00:17:29,915 --> 00:17:32,284
Well,�when�the�store
made�no�money,�we�were�cool.
419
00:17:32,317 --> 00:17:33,786
Right.
420
00:17:33,819 --> 00:17:37,256
But�now�that�paying�customers
are�back,�we're�less�cool.
421
00:17:37,289 --> 00:17:38,657
Also�right.
422
00:17:40,659 --> 00:17:42,428
Wait�a�second!
423
00:17:54,573 --> 00:17:57,776
"Free�coffee
with�purchase�of�a�free�coffee."
424
00:17:57,810 --> 00:18:01,013
Dean,�that--
That�makes�no�sense.
425
00:18:01,080 --> 00:18:03,682
I'll�take�a�cup�of�free�coffee.
426
00:18:03,749 --> 00:18:06,452
That'll�be�$2,�please.
427
00:18:13,692 --> 00:18:15,294
(crow�cawing)
428
00:18:17,463 --> 00:18:21,633
And�I've�just�been�handed
the�final�question.
429
00:18:21,667 --> 00:18:24,536
Lyle,�since�you�suffered
a�horrific�injury,
430
00:18:24,603 --> 00:18:27,372
maybe�you�should�go�first
before�your�Medivac�arrives.
431
00:18:30,342 --> 00:18:32,544
(grunting)
432
00:18:32,611 --> 00:18:35,180
Oh.�Maybe�just�answer
from�your�chair.
433
00:18:35,214 --> 00:18:38,550
Stop�playing�head�games,�bro.
Let�him�go.
434
00:18:38,617 --> 00:18:41,220
Yeah,�I'm�good.�Morphine's
starting�to�kick�in�anyway.
435
00:18:41,286 --> 00:18:42,788
I�didn't�give�you�any�morphine.
436
00:18:42,821 --> 00:18:44,656
Lyle,�why�should�you�be
the�donor?
437
00:18:44,690 --> 00:18:47,793
Well,�let�me�tell�you.
438
00:18:47,826 --> 00:18:48,894
(imitating�crow�cawing)
439
00:18:48,961 --> 00:18:50,028
-�(thudding)
-�(audience�gasping)
440
00:18:50,062 --> 00:18:52,197
Is�that�an�answer?
441
00:18:52,231 --> 00:18:54,199
What�the�fuck,�Lyle?
Get�up,�man!
442
00:18:54,233 --> 00:18:56,168
You're�kind�of�blowing�it
right�now.
443
00:18:59,304 --> 00:19:01,640
Lyle's�out.
Looks�like�Theland�wins.
444
00:19:01,673 --> 00:19:05,244
It's�not�over.
"The�land"�still�has�to�answer.
445
00:19:05,310 --> 00:19:07,146
All�right,�then.
446
00:19:07,179 --> 00:19:09,348
Theland,
why�should�you�be�the�donor?
447
00:19:11,183 --> 00:19:13,886
You�know�what?
I�don't�think�I�want�to�be.
448
00:19:13,919 --> 00:19:15,988
You�people�are�terrible.
449
00:19:16,021 --> 00:19:17,489
The�thought�of�a�child
being�parented
450
00:19:17,523 --> 00:19:19,892
by�either�of�you
lunatics�is�frightening.
451
00:19:19,925 --> 00:19:21,493
I�think�I'll�just�keep�my�DNA
to�myself.
452
00:19:22,828 --> 00:19:25,597
Paul:�Kee-oskway!
453
00:19:25,664 --> 00:19:28,901
As�the�master�of�ceremonies,
I�should�say�a�few�words.
454
00:19:33,539 --> 00:19:37,075
You�don't�need�a�donor�who's
cool�or�ridiculously�handsome.
455
00:19:37,109 --> 00:19:41,680
You�need�someone�with�heart
and�selflessness.
456
00:19:41,713 --> 00:19:44,616
Someone�who�cares�for�others.
457
00:19:44,683 --> 00:19:48,220
Someone�who's�kind
and�considerate.
458
00:19:48,253 --> 00:19:53,058
Someone�who's�undyingly�loyal,
like�a�dog�or�a�cuckold.
459
00:19:53,091 --> 00:19:55,727
And�I'm�just�spit-balling�here.
460
00:19:55,761 --> 00:19:58,463
I�have�never�been�a�father
and�frankly,
461
00:19:58,530 --> 00:20:01,433
I�find�children�to�be
annoying,�filthy�little�things.
462
00:20:01,466 --> 00:20:02,868
A�bit�of�a�drag.
463
00:20:02,901 --> 00:20:06,371
But�I�do�know�as�of�right�now,
464
00:20:06,405 --> 00:20:08,607
you�have�no�such�guy.
465
00:20:08,640 --> 00:20:11,143
Yes,�we�have.
466
00:20:11,210 --> 00:20:13,745
He's�been�right�under�our�nose
this�whole�time.
467
00:20:13,779 --> 00:20:17,049
Stephen�Harper,�would�you--
468
00:20:17,082 --> 00:20:19,318
-�Yes.
-�(audience�members�gasping)
469
00:20:19,384 --> 00:20:21,753
Ah,�for�fuck--
470
00:20:21,787 --> 00:20:24,756
Rose,�Paul,
you�have�your�donor.
471
00:20:24,790 --> 00:20:27,993
Here�you�go,�Stephen�Harper.
Get�to�work.
472
00:20:34,299 --> 00:20:38,136
,�why�the�sudden�change
of�heart?
473
00:20:38,170 --> 00:20:42,040
Uh,�an�old�friend
helped�me�see�the�light.
474
00:20:42,074 --> 00:20:43,342
All�right.
475
00:20:45,577 --> 00:20:46,678
Go�on�then.
476
00:20:46,712 --> 00:20:49,248
Maanoo.
477
00:20:55,654 --> 00:20:57,856
Hmm.�Mmm!
478
00:21:00,425 --> 00:21:02,394
Wow!
479
00:21:02,427 --> 00:21:04,062
That's�really�good.
480
00:21:04,096 --> 00:21:05,497
Thanks.
481
00:21:05,530 --> 00:21:08,166
It's�an�old�family�recipe
that�I�found�in�the�trash.
482
00:21:08,200 --> 00:21:09,334
Okay.�Wow.
483
00:21:09,368 --> 00:21:11,236
So,�uh,�the�strike�is�off?
484
00:21:11,270 --> 00:21:12,704
You�bet.
485
00:21:12,738 --> 00:21:15,073
Even�better,
I'm�going�to�call�off�the�crows.
486
00:21:17,175 --> 00:21:18,610
Brother�crow...
487
00:21:20,579 --> 00:21:21,847
...fly.
488
00:21:23,015 --> 00:21:24,750
More�soup?
489
00:21:24,783 --> 00:21:26,285
Un-uhn.
490
00:21:26,351 --> 00:21:30,355
?
491
00:21:30,405 --> 00:21:34,955
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