All language subtitles for Acting Good s03e02 Baby Daddy Games.eng

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,935 --> 00:00:03,103 Why�do�I�have�to�be�here? 2 00:00:03,136 --> 00:00:05,038 I'm�not�the�one trying�to�get�pregnant. 3 00:00:05,071 --> 00:00:06,473 Shut�up,�Paul. 4 00:00:06,539 --> 00:00:09,242 We're�here�to�check your�fertility. 5 00:00:09,275 --> 00:00:10,910 Doctors�are�just�perverts. 6 00:00:10,944 --> 00:00:13,079 They're�always�asking�me to�take�off�my�shirt. 7 00:00:13,113 --> 00:00:16,216 How�about�you�take your�shirt�off,�guy? 8 00:00:17,717 --> 00:00:18,952 Sorry�for�the�delay. 9 00:00:18,985 --> 00:00:21,654 Fuck�you,�man! I'm�not�taking�off�my�shirt. 10 00:00:21,721 --> 00:00:22,822 That's�okay. 11 00:00:22,889 --> 00:00:25,425 We�have�your�sperm�test results�back, 12 00:00:25,458 --> 00:00:27,460 and�your�count is�at�one�million. 13 00:00:27,494 --> 00:00:29,429 Hell,�yeah.�I'm�going�platinum! 14 00:00:29,462 --> 00:00:30,663 (cackling) 15 00:00:30,730 --> 00:00:31,898 For�sperm, that's�actually�a�low�number. 16 00:00:31,931 --> 00:00:34,601 There's�no�easy�way�to�put this... 17 00:00:34,634 --> 00:00:35,635 but�you're�sterile. 18 00:00:35,668 --> 00:00:37,003 How�is�that�a�bad�thing? 19 00:00:37,070 --> 00:00:38,738 You're�constantly�telling�me to�wash�my�hands. 20 00:00:38,772 --> 00:00:42,776 No,�dummy. He�means�you're�shooting�blanks. 21 00:00:42,809 --> 00:00:44,177 I'm�sorry. 22 00:00:44,244 --> 00:00:45,812 Damn. 23 00:00:45,845 --> 00:00:47,814 You're�actually�due�for a�medical�checkup. 24 00:00:47,847 --> 00:00:50,083 So,�if�I�can�get�you to�take�off�your�shirt... 25 00:00:51,284 --> 00:00:54,354 Okay.�(chuckling)�Cool. Cool,�cool,�cool. 26 00:00:56,656 --> 00:00:58,324 ?�'Cause�I�can�love�you,�baby�? 27 00:01:00,860 --> 00:01:03,997 ?�All�night�long�? 28 00:01:17,010 --> 00:01:19,712 Roger:�Not�sure�what's�going�on out�there,�chief�and�council. 29 00:01:19,779 --> 00:01:22,549 Deedee�would�have�never�let that�happen. 30 00:01:22,615 --> 00:01:24,050 Mn'ehh. 31 00:01:24,117 --> 00:01:26,953 Roger:�But�in�the�meantime, here's�Guy�Ayii�and�the�VLTs 32 00:01:26,986 --> 00:01:30,490 with�their�smash�hit, "Max�Bettin'�on�My�Heart." 33 00:01:30,523 --> 00:01:32,125 (knocking�on�door) 34 00:01:32,158 --> 00:01:33,827 'Morning,�Chief. 35 00:01:33,860 --> 00:01:35,562 You're�not�going�to like�what�I'm�about�to�tell�you. 36 00:01:35,628 --> 00:01:37,063 Spit�it�out,�Lips. 37 00:01:37,130 --> 00:01:38,898 Willie�made�good�on�his�threat to�go�on�strike. 38 00:01:38,965 --> 00:01:41,234 That�greasy�little�bastard! 39 00:01:41,301 --> 00:01:43,503 Garbage�is�piling�up�faster than�gossip�on�a�bingo�night. 40 00:01:43,536 --> 00:01:47,807 He�did�it. He�really�fok'n�did�it. 41 00:01:47,841 --> 00:01:49,342 Says�here�he's�not�budging 42 00:01:49,375 --> 00:01:51,845 until�he�gets�a�new�truck and�an�apology. 43 00:01:51,878 --> 00:01:53,046 Jo,�what�you�going�to�do? 44 00:01:53,079 --> 00:01:55,548 I'll�tell�you�what�I�don't�do. 45 00:01:55,582 --> 00:01:57,250 (paper�crinkling) 46 00:01:57,317 --> 00:02:00,086 I�don't�negotiate with�sanitationists. 47 00:02:00,153 --> 00:02:02,655 (paper�crinkling) 48 00:02:02,689 --> 00:02:05,492 I'll�collect�the�garbage�myself. 49 00:02:05,525 --> 00:02:08,328 Sometimes�a�chief has�to�roll�up�their�sleeves 50 00:02:08,361 --> 00:02:10,697 and�get�their�hands�dirty. 51 00:02:10,730 --> 00:02:14,868 But�Jo, you're�not�wearing�sleeves. 52 00:02:14,901 --> 00:02:16,536 -�(crow�cawing) -�(dog�barking) 53 00:02:16,569 --> 00:02:20,940 Sterile?�Me? It�doesn't�make�any�sense. 54 00:02:21,007 --> 00:02:22,408 Yeah,�it�does. 55 00:02:22,442 --> 00:02:24,844 You're�the�only�one�left who�still�wears�tighty-whities. 56 00:02:24,878 --> 00:02:26,412 Which�is�crazy. 57 00:02:26,446 --> 00:02:29,282 I�can�get�a�year's�worth for�less�than�$10. 58 00:02:29,349 --> 00:02:32,018 I'm�basically�making�money at�this�point. 59 00:02:32,051 --> 00:02:34,621 I�mean,�even�that�pale, sickly�guy�at�the�pawnshop 60 00:02:34,687 --> 00:02:37,056 warned�you�about�keeping that�thing�on�your�lap. 61 00:02:39,058 --> 00:02:40,727 (low�thrumming) 62 00:02:40,760 --> 00:02:43,363 It�keeps�me�warm in�the�wintertime. 63 00:02:43,396 --> 00:02:46,232 And�what�about�the�x-ray�machine you�found? 64 00:02:46,266 --> 00:02:47,934 Paul:�What�about�it? 65 00:02:47,967 --> 00:02:50,136 This�thing�helps�me�see�what's on�the�inside. 66 00:02:51,704 --> 00:02:55,808 You�know�why�you're�sterile? Because�you're�stubborn. 67 00:02:55,875 --> 00:03:00,046 Rose,�I'm�going�to�need some�time�alone�with�my�boys. 68 00:03:00,079 --> 00:03:03,216 Hey,�guys.�It's�me. 69 00:03:03,249 --> 00:03:05,051 Now,�you're�going�to�hear some�rumours�around�town 70 00:03:05,084 --> 00:03:07,387 about�how�you�guys are�a�bunch�of�losers. 71 00:03:07,420 --> 00:03:09,822 -�How�you�guys�are�washed-up. -�(inspirational�music�plays) 72 00:03:09,889 --> 00:03:13,560 How�you�guys�are�no�damn�good. 73 00:03:13,593 --> 00:03:16,796 But�are�we�just�going�to go�quietly�into�the�night, 74 00:03:16,829 --> 00:03:20,266 or�are�we�going�to�rise�up and�fight? 75 00:03:20,300 --> 00:03:21,501 Are�we�going�to�pack�it�all�in? 76 00:03:21,568 --> 00:03:23,002 We're�getting�a�sperm�donor. 77 00:03:23,069 --> 00:03:26,839 Fok�sakes. 78 00:03:28,775 --> 00:03:32,145 Ah,�Chief�Jo.�Come�to�negotiate? 79 00:03:32,178 --> 00:03:35,181 Not�at�all,�trash�boy. Get�out�of�my�way. 80 00:03:35,248 --> 00:03:38,484 Oh,�I�see�how�it�is. 81 00:03:38,518 --> 00:03:41,120 Using�your�own�truck to�pick�up�trash. 82 00:03:41,154 --> 00:03:43,022 Must�be�easier�to�see when�you�don't�got�flies 83 00:03:43,089 --> 00:03:45,592 having�an�orgy�on�your�face. 84 00:03:45,625 --> 00:03:47,260 Willie:�Ah�kijeet. 85 00:03:47,293 --> 00:03:49,429 Oh,�oh,�oh. 86 00:03:49,462 --> 00:03:51,798 Oh,�it's�so�hard.�Ugh.�Oh. 87 00:03:51,831 --> 00:03:53,466 You�think�this�is�funny? 88 00:03:54,701 --> 00:03:58,671 Crossing�the�picket�line... is�no�joke. 89 00:03:58,705 --> 00:04:00,206 She�takes�the�ball into�the�paint. 90 00:04:00,273 --> 00:04:01,841 Four�seconds�left�on�the�clock. 91 00:04:01,874 --> 00:04:03,343 Don't�make�me�do�it. 92 00:04:03,376 --> 00:04:05,378 Pump-fakes. Pivots.�Fades�away! 93 00:04:05,445 --> 00:04:08,781 -�Oh! -�(moaning) 94 00:04:08,815 --> 00:04:10,149 How's�your�ankle? 95 00:04:10,183 --> 00:04:12,352 Where's�the�whistle? That�was�travelling. 96 00:04:12,385 --> 00:04:13,620 -�As�if. -�Okay. 97 00:04:13,653 --> 00:04:16,656 I�didn't�want�to have�to�do�this, 98 00:04:16,689 --> 00:04:19,525 but�you�brought�it�on yourself,�Jo. 99 00:04:21,361 --> 00:04:24,364 Brother�crows!�I�summon�you. 100 00:04:24,397 --> 00:04:25,832 Attack! 101 00:04:29,335 --> 00:04:30,970 I�said�attack. 102 00:04:31,004 --> 00:04:32,639 Mn'ehh. 103 00:04:34,140 --> 00:04:36,909 Caw! 104 00:04:36,976 --> 00:04:39,045 Ribbit? 105 00:04:39,078 --> 00:04:41,014 Do�you�have�any�bologna? 106 00:04:41,047 --> 00:04:43,516 Uh,�yes,�we�do. In�the�back�refrigerator. 107 00:04:45,718 --> 00:04:48,554 Man,�you're�slipping. 108 00:04:48,588 --> 00:04:51,157 Dude�asks�for�bologna, and�you're�supposed�to�say... 109 00:04:51,190 --> 00:04:52,692 ..."Yeah,�man." 110 00:04:52,725 --> 00:04:54,227 Speaking�of�stiff, 111 00:04:54,260 --> 00:04:55,695 this�place�needs to�lighten�up,�man. 112 00:04:55,728 --> 00:04:57,730 It's�too�much�like...�you. 113 00:04:57,764 --> 00:04:59,666 Well,�if�by�that you�mean�barely�hanging�on, 114 00:04:59,699 --> 00:05:00,700 you're�right. 115 00:05:00,733 --> 00:05:05,004 Yeah.�The�store�is�too�store-y. 116 00:05:05,038 --> 00:05:08,775 People�come�in�here,�they buy�shit,�and�then�they�leave. 117 00:05:08,841 --> 00:05:09,942 What's�up�with�that? 118 00:05:10,009 --> 00:05:13,379 Well,�uh,�that�is how�a�store�works,�Dean. 119 00:05:13,413 --> 00:05:15,248 But�picture�this,�man. 120 00:05:15,281 --> 00:05:17,717 People�come�in�here and�shoot�the�shit. 121 00:05:17,750 --> 00:05:20,186 Nobody�here is�shooting�the�shit. 122 00:05:20,219 --> 00:05:21,754 We�need�more�shit-shooting. 123 00:05:21,788 --> 00:05:23,890 Okay. With�all�due�respect,�Dean, 124 00:05:23,923 --> 00:05:25,558 we�can't�sell�shit-shooting, okay? 125 00:05:25,591 --> 00:05:27,894 I�think�you're�on the�wrong�page,�bro. 126 00:05:27,927 --> 00:05:31,097 You're�talking�money-making and�I'm�talking�shit-shooting. 127 00:05:41,240 --> 00:05:42,642 Okay,�then. 128 00:05:44,444 --> 00:05:46,279 Have�you�seen�the�latest revenge�karate�movie, 129 00:05:46,312 --> 00:05:47,380 The�Killer�Backers? 130 00:05:47,413 --> 00:05:49,248 -�Yeah. -�All�right. 131 00:05:49,282 --> 00:05:51,284 This�is�the�life�you�chose, Greg. 132 00:05:53,386 --> 00:05:55,955 Oh,�hey,�Paul.�This�is�Theland. 133 00:05:55,988 --> 00:05:57,256 -�(Wolf�howls) -�Whispering�voice:�Aki. 134 00:05:59,225 --> 00:06:02,662 Yes.�Theland. Spelled�"The�land." 135 00:06:03,730 --> 00:06:05,431 -�(Wolf�howls) -�Whispering�voice:�Aki. 136 00:06:05,465 --> 00:06:07,967 Isn't�he�great? 137 00:06:08,000 --> 00:06:11,337 And�guess�what.�Theland has�just�agreed�to�be�our�donor. 138 00:06:11,404 --> 00:06:13,506 Hmm.�Don't�you�think this�is�something 139 00:06:13,573 --> 00:06:15,942 we�both�should've�talked�about? 140 00:06:15,975 --> 00:06:17,977 You�know�how�much�communication means�to�me. 141 00:06:18,010 --> 00:06:20,580 Says�the�guy�who�started a�speakeasy. 142 00:06:20,613 --> 00:06:22,815 You�got�to�stop�living in�the�past. 143 00:06:22,849 --> 00:06:24,283 I'm�past�the�past. 144 00:06:24,317 --> 00:06:26,819 This�guy�has all�the�DNA�we�need. 145 00:06:26,853 --> 00:06:29,155 He's...�okay. 146 00:06:29,188 --> 00:06:30,289 Okay? 147 00:06:30,323 --> 00:06:31,958 He�just�finished�making a�spice�rack 148 00:06:31,991 --> 00:06:33,025 while�we�were�arguing. 149 00:06:33,092 --> 00:06:34,761 (chuckling) 150 00:06:34,794 --> 00:06:37,330 Too�bad�we�don't�have any�spices. 151 00:06:37,363 --> 00:06:38,965 Stop�it.�He's�perfect. 152 00:06:38,998 --> 00:06:42,702 All�I'm�saying�is,�you�can't pick�the�first�guy�you�see. 153 00:06:42,769 --> 00:06:44,871 It's�like�picking�up�the first�melon�at�the�fruit�stand. 154 00:06:44,937 --> 00:06:47,006 We�don't�even�know if�this�guy's�ripe. 155 00:06:47,039 --> 00:06:48,374 As�if�you�buy�fruit. 156 00:06:48,441 --> 00:06:51,144 All�I'm�saying is�we�only�have�one�melon. 157 00:06:51,177 --> 00:06:54,013 I�think�I�deserve�to�go�and�find my�own�melon. 158 00:06:54,046 --> 00:06:57,784 We�have�a�perfectly�ripe�melon, so�full�of�juice. 159 00:06:57,817 --> 00:06:59,619 Humph.�Says�you. 160 00:06:59,652 --> 00:07:03,890 Well,�good�luck�finding�a�melon in�a�rez�full�of�potatoes. 161 00:07:03,956 --> 00:07:06,159 Sometimes, those�potatoes�turn�into�chips 162 00:07:06,192 --> 00:07:08,194 and�beautiful�French�fries. 163 00:07:08,227 --> 00:07:12,732 Melons?�Hmm.�They�just�go�mouldy and�taste�sour. 164 00:07:15,701 --> 00:07:18,004 Open�the�damn�gate,�Willie. 165 00:07:18,037 --> 00:07:20,306 Sorry,�Jo. The�crows�have�spoken. 166 00:07:20,339 --> 00:07:21,407 (cawing) 167 00:07:21,474 --> 00:07:23,643 Oh,�fok�off. 168 00:07:23,676 --> 00:07:25,812 Where�am�I�supposed�to put�the�garbage,�then? 169 00:07:25,845 --> 00:07:28,548 You're�a�waste-keeper�now. Figure�it�out. 170 00:07:28,581 --> 00:07:30,683 (laughing) 171 00:07:30,716 --> 00:07:33,753 Come�on,�guys.�Let's�go�get some�of�that�soup,�eh? 172 00:07:33,820 --> 00:07:34,754 Oh,�hey.�You�know�what? 173 00:07:34,821 --> 00:07:36,389 Oh,�literally, yous�don't�say? 174 00:07:36,422 --> 00:07:39,091 That's�a�good�one,�Joey... (Willie�muttering�indistinctly) 175 00:07:39,158 --> 00:07:42,061 (mockingly)�You're�a waste-keeper�now.�Figure�it�out. 176 00:07:42,094 --> 00:07:43,196 Fok'n�Willie. 177 00:07:45,031 --> 00:07:46,566 : Nah,�man. 178 00:07:46,599 --> 00:07:48,401 The�toughest�white�guy to�play�a�Native�is�Billy�Jack. 179 00:07:48,434 --> 00:07:51,504 Don't�come�at�me�with�this Johnny�Depp,�Lone�Ranger�shit. 180 00:07:51,537 --> 00:07:53,372 Uh,�Dean,�can�we�talk? 181 00:07:53,406 --> 00:07:54,874 What's�up,�man? 182 00:07:54,907 --> 00:07:56,442 So,�I�don't�know�if�you�noticed, 183 00:07:56,509 --> 00:07:59,545 but�the�hang-out�spot has�become�the�hang-out�store. 184 00:07:59,579 --> 00:08:00,780 Yeah.�What's�the�problem,�man? 185 00:08:00,847 --> 00:08:02,215 The�place�is�packed. That's�how�you�business. 186 00:08:02,248 --> 00:08:04,016 Well,�the�problem�is�that none�of�these�people 187 00:08:04,050 --> 00:08:05,284 are�buying�anything. 188 00:08:05,351 --> 00:08:07,053 Oh,�man.�I'm�in�the�middle of�shit-shooting, 189 00:08:07,086 --> 00:08:08,788 and�you're�coming�at�me with�all�this�Greg�talk. 190 00:08:08,855 --> 00:08:10,523 I�think�we�might�even�be over�capacity. 191 00:08:10,556 --> 00:08:12,225 Ah,�don't�worry�about�it,�man. The�fire�marshal's�here, 192 00:08:12,258 --> 00:08:13,426 he�would�have said�something�by�now. 193 00:08:13,459 --> 00:08:15,728 (chattering) 194 00:08:15,761 --> 00:08:17,864 Hang�on,�man.�Oh,�right,�right. 195 00:08:17,897 --> 00:08:20,633 There's�no�way�six�gorillas can�take�on�25�chimps. 196 00:08:20,700 --> 00:08:22,468 Based�on�what? 197 00:08:24,904 --> 00:08:27,106 That�was the�Local�244�Beading�Union. 198 00:08:27,139 --> 00:08:29,375 Did�you�buy�a�pair of�beaded�earrings�from�Russia? 199 00:08:29,408 --> 00:08:31,444 Fucking�Willie leaked�that�receipt. 200 00:08:31,477 --> 00:08:33,713 That�stinky�little�bastard! 201 00:08:33,746 --> 00:08:34,947 Jo,�this�is�big. 202 00:08:36,649 --> 00:08:38,584 They�were�$5. 203 00:08:38,618 --> 00:08:39,719 (phone�ringing) 204 00:08:39,752 --> 00:08:41,654 Hello? 205 00:08:41,721 --> 00:08:43,990 I'll�look�right�into�that. 206 00:08:44,056 --> 00:08:46,626 Jo,�did�you�just�dump a�bunch�of�garbage�bags 207 00:08:46,659 --> 00:08:48,060 right�out�in�the�open? 208 00:08:48,094 --> 00:08:49,962 I�got�a�community�member on�the�phone�that�says�you�did. 209 00:08:49,996 --> 00:08:52,265 I�left�the�trash outside�the�dump 210 00:08:52,298 --> 00:08:54,400 because�Willie�locked�the�gates. 211 00:08:54,433 --> 00:08:56,302 Well,�a�bunch�of�rez�dogs tore�into�it, 212 00:08:56,335 --> 00:08:58,004 and�now, there's�garbage�everywhere. 213 00:08:58,070 --> 00:08:59,405 Jo,�this�is�big. 214 00:08:59,438 --> 00:09:01,274 Jo: Ah,�for�fok's�sake. 215 00:09:01,307 --> 00:09:02,808 (phone�ringing) 216 00:09:02,842 --> 00:09:05,578 Hello. 217 00:09:05,611 --> 00:09:07,246 Are�you�serious? 218 00:09:07,280 --> 00:09:08,447 Well,�that's�not�good. 219 00:09:10,182 --> 00:09:11,250 Wrong�number. 220 00:09:11,284 --> 00:09:13,185 Jo,�that's�big. 221 00:09:15,488 --> 00:09:17,456 What�about�those�guys? Do�they�look�like�dad�material? 222 00:09:17,490 --> 00:09:18,791 Paul: No�way,�man. 223 00:09:18,824 --> 00:09:21,661 My�baby�has�to�have the�coolest�DNA. 224 00:09:21,694 --> 00:09:24,597 It's�got�to�reek�of�coolness. 225 00:09:24,630 --> 00:09:26,632 Got�it.�Reeks�of�coolness. 226 00:09:26,666 --> 00:09:28,634 -�Those�guys�look�really�cool. -�No�way,�man. 227 00:09:28,668 --> 00:09:30,803 That�guy�looks�like�he�reads. 228 00:09:30,836 --> 00:09:32,838 Nobody�likes�a�know-it-all. 229 00:09:32,872 --> 00:09:34,106 No�know-it-alls.�Got�it. 230 00:09:34,140 --> 00:09:35,875 And�this�guy?�Way�too�tall. 231 00:09:35,942 --> 00:09:38,277 It's�too�risky.�I�don't�want my�kid�to�beat�me�up 232 00:09:38,311 --> 00:09:39,612 by�the�time he's�eight�years�old. 233 00:09:39,645 --> 00:09:40,680 Tall�equals�bad. 234 00:09:40,713 --> 00:09:41,781 Fuck,�Stephen�Harper. 235 00:09:41,814 --> 00:09:44,050 Where�are�we�going�to find�a�cool�guy 236 00:09:44,116 --> 00:09:46,352 that�doesn't�give�a�fuck, and�says 237 00:09:46,385 --> 00:09:48,220 cool�things,�like, 238 00:09:48,287 --> 00:09:51,691 "Whatever,�man" or�"That's�bunk"? 239 00:09:51,724 --> 00:09:54,226 It'll�take�years�before�we�find someone�like�that. 240 00:09:54,293 --> 00:09:56,128 Dean: Hey,�man. 241 00:09:56,162 --> 00:09:57,530 You�can't�be�smoking�candied cigarettes�in�here,�bro. 242 00:09:57,563 --> 00:10:00,333 (cackling) 243 00:10:00,366 --> 00:10:03,202 Whatever,�old�man.�That's�bunk. 244 00:10:07,640 --> 00:10:11,143 Both: Fucking�cool,�man! 245 00:10:11,177 --> 00:10:12,979 -�(birds�chirping) -�(sighing) 246 00:10:13,012 --> 00:10:16,048 (phone�ringing) 247 00:10:16,082 --> 00:10:18,150 (dog�barking�in�the�distance) 248 00:10:20,186 --> 00:10:21,721 (splashing) 249 00:10:24,256 --> 00:10:28,828 Hey,�Chief. You�and�me.�Let's�talk. 250 00:10:31,397 --> 00:10:35,701 Rose,�are�you�ready�to�meet my�melon? 251 00:10:35,735 --> 00:10:40,206 Say�hello to�Lyle�the�cool�guy.�Ha. 252 00:10:41,941 --> 00:10:43,009 Cool,�right? 253 00:10:43,042 --> 00:10:45,911 I�guess. I�mean,�he's�no�Theland. 254 00:10:45,945 --> 00:10:48,114 What�the�fok is�he�still�doing�here? 255 00:10:48,180 --> 00:10:49,548 He's�making�us�lacrosse�sticks. 256 00:10:49,582 --> 00:10:51,117 Yeah. I�even�made�one�for�the�baby. 257 00:10:51,183 --> 00:10:54,020 Well,�Lyle's�got�some�cool�shit, too.�Right,�Lyle?�Show�them. 258 00:10:54,053 --> 00:10:56,889 I�have. 259 00:10:56,922 --> 00:10:58,290 What�the�fuck? 260 00:10:58,357 --> 00:11:00,292 You�can't�give�nunchucks to�a�baby,�man! 261 00:11:00,359 --> 00:11:02,094 Whatever,�old�man.�That's�bunk. 262 00:11:03,629 --> 00:11:04,730 Paul: Come�on.�Get�up. 263 00:11:04,764 --> 00:11:06,232 Go�make�a�spice�rack or�something. 264 00:11:06,265 --> 00:11:07,600 Whoa.�I�just�cleaned�here. 265 00:11:07,633 --> 00:11:09,902 Come�on.�Whatever,�man. Hey.�Oh. 266 00:11:09,935 --> 00:11:12,104 You�guys�got�any�movies or�anything? 267 00:11:12,138 --> 00:11:13,239 You�ever�seen�The�Crow? 268 00:11:13,272 --> 00:11:15,041 No,�man. We�don't�have�The�Crow. 269 00:11:15,074 --> 00:11:17,376 What? 270 00:11:17,410 --> 00:11:18,611 What�the�hell�is�wrong,�man? 271 00:11:18,644 --> 00:11:20,146 You�haven't�seen�The�Crow? 272 00:11:20,212 --> 00:11:22,548 Would�you�shut�up about�The�Crow�already? 273 00:11:22,581 --> 00:11:23,616 Fucking�bunk. 274 00:11:23,649 --> 00:11:25,885 Hey.�Come�on,�babe. 275 00:11:25,918 --> 00:11:28,554 I�mean,�It's�pretty�obvious who�the�donor�is�here. 276 00:11:28,587 --> 00:11:30,456 I�don't�think it's�obvious�at�all. 277 00:11:30,489 --> 00:11:32,591 But�it's�been�out�for,�like, 30�years. 278 00:11:32,625 --> 00:11:35,428 I�have�the�perfect�guy. Why�are�you�fighting�me�on�this? 279 00:11:35,461 --> 00:11:37,463 No,�babe. I�have�the�perfect�guy. 280 00:11:37,496 --> 00:11:39,799 It's�literally�out on�every�format! 281 00:11:39,832 --> 00:11:42,234 Blu-ray,�DVD,�Laserdisc. 282 00:11:42,268 --> 00:11:43,636 Hmm. 283 00:11:43,669 --> 00:11:46,105 Fine.�We'll�settle�this with�a�competition. 284 00:11:46,138 --> 00:11:48,407 -�Winner�is�the�donor. -�You're�on! 285 00:11:48,441 --> 00:11:49,675 Oh,�oh. 286 00:11:49,742 --> 00:11:51,577 Tell�me�you've�at�least�heard the�soundtrack. 287 00:11:52,812 --> 00:11:55,781 Aw!�Come�on! 288 00:11:55,815 --> 00:11:57,116 (shouting) 289 00:11:57,149 --> 00:11:59,518 (birds�chirping) 290 00:11:59,585 --> 00:12:01,787 What�are�we�even�doing�here, Deedee? 291 00:12:01,821 --> 00:12:04,623 I�knew�you'd�be�out�here all�sad-arse, 292 00:12:04,657 --> 00:12:06,158 wishing�you�never�became�chief. 293 00:12:06,192 --> 00:12:07,493 How'd�you�know�that? 294 00:12:07,526 --> 00:12:09,328 -�Same�thing�happened�to�me. -�Really? 295 00:12:09,361 --> 00:12:12,131 Nah.�I'm�just�trying�to make�you�feel�better. 296 00:12:12,164 --> 00:12:14,166 Listen,�Jo. 297 00:12:14,200 --> 00:12:16,435 I�want�to�give�you some�chief�advice. 298 00:12:16,469 --> 00:12:18,137 From�former�chief�to�chief. 299 00:12:19,472 --> 00:12:22,708 When�times�get�tough, play�the�guitar? 300 00:12:22,775 --> 00:12:27,346 Not�quite,�but�that�did�work�out pretty�well�for�me. 301 00:12:27,379 --> 00:12:31,450 No.�You�need�to�give in�to�the�power�of... 302 00:12:31,484 --> 00:12:34,487 maanoo. 303 00:12:34,520 --> 00:12:36,021 Maanoo? 304 00:12:36,055 --> 00:12:37,556 Yeah. 305 00:12:37,623 --> 00:12:41,494 It�means�"let�it�be,"�but really,�it's�a�frame�of�mind. 306 00:12:41,527 --> 00:12:46,398 Sometimes,�the�victory does�not�lie�in�the�outcome, 307 00:12:46,465 --> 00:12:49,568 but�in�the�acceptance of�what�is. 308 00:12:49,635 --> 00:12:53,339 So,�how�do�I�"maanoo"�myself 309 00:12:53,372 --> 00:12:55,307 out�of�a�garbage�strike? 310 00:12:55,341 --> 00:12:57,376 That's�easy. Did�you�eat�Willie's�soup? 311 00:12:57,409 --> 00:12:59,311 His�what? 312 00:12:59,345 --> 00:13:02,081 When�you�visited�the�dump, he�offered�you�some�soup,�right? 313 00:13:02,148 --> 00:13:05,251 Yeah,�but�I'm�not�going�to�eat that�witches�brew. 314 00:13:05,317 --> 00:13:07,486 That's�the�problem. 315 00:13:07,520 --> 00:13:09,588 This�was�never�about�a�truck. 316 00:13:09,655 --> 00:13:12,558 Willie,�he�just�wants�respect. 317 00:13:12,591 --> 00:13:16,862 So,�buck�up, eat�the�damn�soup, 318 00:13:16,896 --> 00:13:18,597 and�maanoo. 319 00:13:20,332 --> 00:13:23,435 I�know�some�of�you�are�asking yourselves�why�you're�here. 320 00:13:23,502 --> 00:13:24,937 -�I�know�I�am. -�(clearing�throat) 321 00:13:25,004 --> 00:13:28,340 Paul�and�I�are�going�to�decide on�our�donor�for�our�kid. 322 00:13:28,374 --> 00:13:29,842 -�Really? -�Yeah. 323 00:13:29,875 --> 00:13:33,379 Like�this?�Okay. 324 00:13:33,412 --> 00:13:36,715 Welcome�to�the�baby�daddy�games, I�guess. 325 00:13:36,749 --> 00:13:38,751 Who�will�win�the�right�to�be 326 00:13:38,784 --> 00:13:41,787 Paul�and�Rose's�sperm�donor, and-- 327 00:13:41,854 --> 00:13:44,523 And�how�is�this supposed�to�work? 328 00:13:44,557 --> 00:13:45,758 -�Just�let�me�do�it. -�Oh. 329 00:13:45,791 --> 00:13:46,926 (clearing�throat) 330 00:13:46,959 --> 00:13:50,229 Hi,�everyone. So,�Paul�is�sterile. 331 00:13:50,262 --> 00:13:52,698 (cheering�and�applause) 332 00:13:52,731 --> 00:13:55,201 Let�me�finish.�That's�not the�only�reason�why�we're�here. 333 00:13:55,234 --> 00:13:56,802 (groaning) 334 00:13:56,869 --> 00:14:00,472 We�couldn't�decide�on�our�donor, so�our�two�choices 335 00:14:00,539 --> 00:14:02,908 are�going�to�compete against�each�other. 336 00:14:02,942 --> 00:14:07,279 My�choice�is�Theland, spelled�"The�land." 337 00:14:07,313 --> 00:14:11,050 -�Whispering�voice:�Aki. -�(cheering�and�applause) 338 00:14:11,083 --> 00:14:12,384 Paul: Hmm. 339 00:14:12,418 --> 00:14:16,055 And�my�choice�is�Lyle. 340 00:14:16,088 --> 00:14:19,959 But�you�already�know�him�as the�coolest�guy�in�Grouse�Lake. 341 00:14:19,992 --> 00:14:21,160 Get�out�here,�Lyle. 342 00:14:21,227 --> 00:14:23,395 -�(scattered�applause) -�Yeah. 343 00:14:23,429 --> 00:14:26,632 What�the�hell,�man? You�painted�your�face? 344 00:14:26,665 --> 00:14:28,234 Yeah.�It�makes�me�look�cool. 345 00:14:28,267 --> 00:14:30,002 Nah.�You're�scaring�everybody. 346 00:14:30,069 --> 00:14:31,904 Aw,�fuck.�It's�hot,�man. 347 00:14:31,937 --> 00:14:33,239 Yeah.�You're�wearing�a�trench. 348 00:14:33,272 --> 00:14:34,640 Ah,�fuck.�I�need�a�chair. 349 00:14:34,673 --> 00:14:36,609 Start�the�games,�Roger. 350 00:14:36,642 --> 00:14:40,279 Okay.�Let's�start�the�games. 351 00:14:40,312 --> 00:14:41,347 (cheering�and�applause) 352 00:14:41,413 --> 00:14:43,782 I've�been�told that�the�first�event 353 00:14:43,816 --> 00:14:46,252 is�the�swimsuit�competition. 354 00:14:46,285 --> 00:14:48,821 (cheering�and�applause) 355 00:14:52,625 --> 00:14:56,328 (cheering�and�applause continues) 356 00:14:56,362 --> 00:14:58,030 Greg: Okay.�Uh, 357 00:14:58,097 --> 00:15:00,032 he�would�rather�get�run�over by�a�tank 358 00:15:00,099 --> 00:15:01,934 than�sliced�up�by�a�helicopter. 359 00:15:01,967 --> 00:15:03,102 (laughing�nervously) 360 00:15:03,135 --> 00:15:04,203 Dean, I�know�you're�shooting�the�shit, 361 00:15:04,270 --> 00:15:05,537 but�we�really�need�to�talk. 362 00:15:05,604 --> 00:15:08,040 I'm�just�saying,�the�store has�never�been�busier. 363 00:15:08,107 --> 00:15:10,542 (whispering)�But�nobody�here is�spending�a�cent. 364 00:15:10,609 --> 00:15:13,779 Well,�you're�the�corporate sellout,�buttoned-down, 365 00:15:13,812 --> 00:15:15,514 corn-fed,�uptight, 366 00:15:15,547 --> 00:15:17,950 button-pushing, marshmallow�motherfucker. 367 00:15:17,983 --> 00:15:20,452 -�Right. -�What�do�we�do? 368 00:15:20,486 --> 00:15:22,788 We�could�at�least�charge for�the�coffee. 369 00:15:23,856 --> 00:15:26,325 All�right.�Fine. 370 00:15:26,358 --> 00:15:28,794 Excuse�me. 371 00:15:31,864 --> 00:15:34,066 Dean: "Free�coffee�with�purchase"? 372 00:15:35,868 --> 00:15:37,236 There. 373 00:15:39,738 --> 00:15:42,007 Nice�job,�bro. 374 00:15:42,041 --> 00:15:44,543 (playing�flute) 375 00:15:48,080 --> 00:15:51,650 Someone�give�this�man's�sperm an�egg�already. 376 00:15:51,684 --> 00:15:53,886 (crying) 377 00:15:53,919 --> 00:15:57,222 So,�what's�Lyle�going�to�do? 378 00:15:57,256 --> 00:16:00,693 Oh,�he's�going�to�blow�you�away. He's�got�something�huge�planned. 379 00:16:00,726 --> 00:16:02,328 Get�up�there,�Lyle! 380 00:16:04,229 --> 00:16:08,334 Now,�imagine�you're�watching 381 00:16:08,367 --> 00:16:10,269 the�movie�The�Crow, 382 00:16:10,336 --> 00:16:12,037 but�just all�the�cool�fighting�parts. 383 00:16:12,071 --> 00:16:13,405 Ah,�for�fuck-- 384 00:16:13,439 --> 00:16:15,874 And�imagine all�the�cool�fighting�parts 385 00:16:15,908 --> 00:16:17,009 are�played�by�me. 386 00:16:17,042 --> 00:16:18,410 Hit�it! 387 00:16:19,945 --> 00:16:21,914 -�(industrial�music�playing) -�(grunting) 388 00:16:21,947 --> 00:16:23,382 This�guy�comes�in, and�he's,�like, 389 00:16:23,415 --> 00:16:26,118 "Boof-boof-boof!�Boof-boof. 390 00:16:26,185 --> 00:16:29,288 "That's�what�you�get�for killing�me�and�my�hot�fianc�e. 391 00:16:29,355 --> 00:16:32,057 Boof-boof-boof!�Boof.�Boof!" 392 00:16:32,091 --> 00:16:33,592 (crow�cawing) 393 00:16:33,625 --> 00:16:35,794 What's�that?�Is�that�a�crow? 394 00:16:35,861 --> 00:16:38,230 (imitating�crow�cawing) 395 00:16:38,263 --> 00:16:39,965 Oh,�my�ankle! 396 00:16:40,032 --> 00:16:41,867 Oh,�fuck. 397 00:16:41,900 --> 00:16:43,469 Hey.�That's�not�in�the�movie. 398 00:16:45,371 --> 00:16:46,872 Come�on.�You�gotta�get�up, 399 00:16:46,905 --> 00:16:49,274 or�my�baby�is�gonna�be�riddled with�that�perfect�man's�DNA. 400 00:16:49,341 --> 00:16:51,377 No.�I�can't�do�it,�man. My�ankle's�fucked. 401 00:16:51,410 --> 00:16:52,411 Nah. 402 00:16:52,444 --> 00:16:54,013 You're�fine.�(chuckling) 403 00:16:54,046 --> 00:16:56,115 -�Are�you�okay? -�Looks�like�Lyle�is�out. 404 00:16:56,181 --> 00:16:58,083 Which�means�Theland�wins. 405 00:16:58,117 --> 00:17:01,220 Paul:�Hold�on.�The�last�round is�the�interview�round,�right? 406 00:17:01,253 --> 00:17:03,856 I�don't�know.�Is�it? I'm�just�learning�as�I�go. 407 00:17:03,889 --> 00:17:05,891 Argh.�He's�right. The�best�answer�wins. 408 00:17:05,924 --> 00:17:08,460 And�Lyle�doesn't�need�his�ankle to�answer�the�questions. 409 00:17:08,527 --> 00:17:10,195 -�Right,�Lyle? -�(Grunting) 410 00:17:10,229 --> 00:17:11,697 Roger:�Okan�iwe. 411 00:17:13,265 --> 00:17:14,400 Crowd: Oh! 412 00:17:14,433 --> 00:17:15,734 (gagging) 413 00:17:18,203 --> 00:17:20,072 What�did�we�learn�today? 414 00:17:20,105 --> 00:17:22,074 That's�easy,�man. 415 00:17:22,107 --> 00:17:26,311 25�chimps�can�easily�take six�gorillas. 416 00:17:26,378 --> 00:17:27,813 I�meant�the�store. 417 00:17:27,880 --> 00:17:29,882 Oh,�yeah.�Right. 418 00:17:29,915 --> 00:17:32,284 Well,�when�the�store made�no�money,�we�were�cool. 419 00:17:32,317 --> 00:17:33,786 Right. 420 00:17:33,819 --> 00:17:37,256 But�now�that�paying�customers are�back,�we're�less�cool. 421 00:17:37,289 --> 00:17:38,657 Also�right. 422 00:17:40,659 --> 00:17:42,428 Wait�a�second! 423 00:17:54,573 --> 00:17:57,776 "Free�coffee with�purchase�of�a�free�coffee." 424 00:17:57,810 --> 00:18:01,013 Dean,�that-- That�makes�no�sense. 425 00:18:01,080 --> 00:18:03,682 I'll�take�a�cup�of�free�coffee. 426 00:18:03,749 --> 00:18:06,452 That'll�be�$2,�please. 427 00:18:13,692 --> 00:18:15,294 (crow�cawing) 428 00:18:17,463 --> 00:18:21,633 And�I've�just�been�handed the�final�question. 429 00:18:21,667 --> 00:18:24,536 Lyle,�since�you�suffered a�horrific�injury, 430 00:18:24,603 --> 00:18:27,372 maybe�you�should�go�first before�your�Medivac�arrives. 431 00:18:30,342 --> 00:18:32,544 (grunting) 432 00:18:32,611 --> 00:18:35,180 Oh.�Maybe�just�answer from�your�chair. 433 00:18:35,214 --> 00:18:38,550 Stop�playing�head�games,�bro. Let�him�go. 434 00:18:38,617 --> 00:18:41,220 Yeah,�I'm�good.�Morphine's starting�to�kick�in�anyway. 435 00:18:41,286 --> 00:18:42,788 I�didn't�give�you�any�morphine. 436 00:18:42,821 --> 00:18:44,656 Lyle,�why�should�you�be the�donor? 437 00:18:44,690 --> 00:18:47,793 Well,�let�me�tell�you. 438 00:18:47,826 --> 00:18:48,894 (imitating�crow�cawing) 439 00:18:48,961 --> 00:18:50,028 -�(thudding) -�(audience�gasping) 440 00:18:50,062 --> 00:18:52,197 Is�that�an�answer? 441 00:18:52,231 --> 00:18:54,199 What�the�fuck,�Lyle? Get�up,�man! 442 00:18:54,233 --> 00:18:56,168 You're�kind�of�blowing�it right�now. 443 00:18:59,304 --> 00:19:01,640 Lyle's�out. Looks�like�Theland�wins. 444 00:19:01,673 --> 00:19:05,244 It's�not�over. "The�land"�still�has�to�answer. 445 00:19:05,310 --> 00:19:07,146 All�right,�then. 446 00:19:07,179 --> 00:19:09,348 Theland, why�should�you�be�the�donor? 447 00:19:11,183 --> 00:19:13,886 You�know�what? I�don't�think�I�want�to�be. 448 00:19:13,919 --> 00:19:15,988 You�people�are�terrible. 449 00:19:16,021 --> 00:19:17,489 The�thought�of�a�child being�parented 450 00:19:17,523 --> 00:19:19,892 by�either�of�you lunatics�is�frightening. 451 00:19:19,925 --> 00:19:21,493 I�think�I'll�just�keep�my�DNA to�myself. 452 00:19:22,828 --> 00:19:25,597 Paul:�Kee-oskway! 453 00:19:25,664 --> 00:19:28,901 As�the�master�of�ceremonies, I�should�say�a�few�words. 454 00:19:33,539 --> 00:19:37,075 You�don't�need�a�donor�who's cool�or�ridiculously�handsome. 455 00:19:37,109 --> 00:19:41,680 You�need�someone�with�heart and�selflessness. 456 00:19:41,713 --> 00:19:44,616 Someone�who�cares�for�others. 457 00:19:44,683 --> 00:19:48,220 Someone�who's�kind and�considerate. 458 00:19:48,253 --> 00:19:53,058 Someone�who's�undyingly�loyal, like�a�dog�or�a�cuckold. 459 00:19:53,091 --> 00:19:55,727 And�I'm�just�spit-balling�here. 460 00:19:55,761 --> 00:19:58,463 I�have�never�been�a�father and�frankly, 461 00:19:58,530 --> 00:20:01,433 I�find�children�to�be annoying,�filthy�little�things. 462 00:20:01,466 --> 00:20:02,868 A�bit�of�a�drag. 463 00:20:02,901 --> 00:20:06,371 But�I�do�know�as�of�right�now, 464 00:20:06,405 --> 00:20:08,607 you�have�no�such�guy. 465 00:20:08,640 --> 00:20:11,143 Yes,�we�have. 466 00:20:11,210 --> 00:20:13,745 He's�been�right�under�our�nose this�whole�time. 467 00:20:13,779 --> 00:20:17,049 Stephen�Harper,�would�you-- 468 00:20:17,082 --> 00:20:19,318 -�Yes. -�(audience�members�gasping) 469 00:20:19,384 --> 00:20:21,753 Ah,�for�fuck-- 470 00:20:21,787 --> 00:20:24,756 Rose,�Paul, you�have�your�donor. 471 00:20:24,790 --> 00:20:27,993 Here�you�go,�Stephen�Harper. Get�to�work. 472 00:20:34,299 --> 00:20:38,136 ,�why�the�sudden�change of�heart? 473 00:20:38,170 --> 00:20:42,040 Uh,�an�old�friend helped�me�see�the�light. 474 00:20:42,074 --> 00:20:43,342 All�right. 475 00:20:45,577 --> 00:20:46,678 Go�on�then. 476 00:20:46,712 --> 00:20:49,248 Maanoo. 477 00:20:55,654 --> 00:20:57,856 Hmm.�Mmm! 478 00:21:00,425 --> 00:21:02,394 Wow! 479 00:21:02,427 --> 00:21:04,062 That's�really�good. 480 00:21:04,096 --> 00:21:05,497 Thanks. 481 00:21:05,530 --> 00:21:08,166 It's�an�old�family�recipe that�I�found�in�the�trash. 482 00:21:08,200 --> 00:21:09,334 Okay.�Wow. 483 00:21:09,368 --> 00:21:11,236 So,�uh,�the�strike�is�off? 484 00:21:11,270 --> 00:21:12,704 You�bet. 485 00:21:12,738 --> 00:21:15,073 Even�better, I'm�going�to�call�off�the�crows. 486 00:21:17,175 --> 00:21:18,610 Brother�crow... 487 00:21:20,579 --> 00:21:21,847 ...fly. 488 00:21:23,015 --> 00:21:24,750 More�soup? 489 00:21:24,783 --> 00:21:26,285 Un-uhn. 490 00:21:26,351 --> 00:21:30,355 ? 491 00:21:30,405 --> 00:21:34,955 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 38952

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