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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:50,505 --> 00:00:52,151 - Are you gonna cum, babe? - Yeah. 2 00:00:52,175 --> 00:00:53,175 Yeah. 3 00:01:07,255 --> 00:01:10,125 - You didn't cum again. - Yeah, I did. 4 00:01:10,215 --> 00:01:13,625 No, you didn't. 5 00:01:15,835 --> 00:01:18,465 I did. 6 00:01:21,045 --> 00:01:22,045 No, you didn't. 7 00:01:31,965 --> 00:01:33,125 Uh, stop, stop. 8 00:01:33,215 --> 00:01:35,465 St... stop. 9 00:01:35,545 --> 00:01:37,295 I haven't showered. 10 00:01:37,375 --> 00:01:38,585 I don't care. 11 00:01:42,045 --> 00:01:44,965 Tastes good to me. 12 00:01:45,045 --> 00:01:46,585 Close your eyes. 13 00:01:52,795 --> 00:01:55,675 Rafi, stop. 14 00:01:55,755 --> 00:01:58,215 No, Rafi, stop, stop. I keep thinking about my mom. 15 00:01:58,295 --> 00:02:00,175 I just... I can't do this. 16 00:02:00,255 --> 00:02:01,755 You're thinking about your mom? 17 00:02:03,186 --> 00:02:05,940 She's not coming until the afternoon, babe. Relax. 18 00:02:05,975 --> 00:02:08,038 Just stop thinking about your mom. 19 00:02:08,125 --> 00:02:09,545 I don't... 20 00:02:09,585 --> 00:02:11,295 ♪ Throw your hands in the air ♪ 21 00:02:11,375 --> 00:02:13,125 ♪ Just throw your hands in the air ♪ 22 00:02:13,215 --> 00:02:14,835 ♪ Just throw your hands in the air ♪ 23 00:02:14,925 --> 00:02:16,675 Stay. Oh... 24 00:02:16,755 --> 00:02:18,675 ♪ My name is Ciara ♪ 25 00:02:18,755 --> 00:02:20,545 ♪ For all you fly fellas ♪ 26 00:02:20,625 --> 00:02:22,255 ♪ No one can do it better ♪ 27 00:02:22,335 --> 00:02:24,545 ♪ I'll sing in acapella ♪ 28 00:02:24,625 --> 00:02:29,215 ♪ Boy, the music makes me lose control ♪ 29 00:02:29,295 --> 00:02:30,925 ♪ We gon' make you lose control ♪ 30 00:02:31,005 --> 00:02:32,625 ♪ Let it go 'fore you know ♪ 31 00:02:32,715 --> 00:02:35,045 This is a legit bachelor party. You outdid yourself. 32 00:02:35,125 --> 00:02:36,925 - It's coming together. - How much you pay? 33 00:02:37,005 --> 00:02:39,005 What? No, I use... used Ally's credit card. 34 00:02:39,085 --> 00:02:40,295 - What? - Hang on. 35 00:02:40,375 --> 00:02:42,415 Let me turn the music down. 36 00:02:42,505 --> 00:02:44,231 ♪ Fire it up, bring the roof down and holla ♪ 37 00:02:45,505 --> 00:02:46,835 I said I used Ally's credit card, 38 00:02:46,925 --> 00:02:48,465 but I am going to pay her back. 39 00:02:48,490 --> 00:02:50,165 Taking the rich people's money. 40 00:02:50,190 --> 00:02:52,034 - No. - That's what I'm talkin' 'bout. 41 00:02:52,059 --> 00:02:54,085 I really gotta give it back to her. 42 00:02:54,175 --> 00:02:55,465 This is becoming a problem. 43 00:02:55,545 --> 00:02:57,085 Yeah, I see. What else you get, then? 44 00:02:57,175 --> 00:02:58,835 Um, I got pussy stuff. 45 00:02:58,925 --> 00:03:01,835 This is comedy. Pussy straws. 46 00:03:01,860 --> 00:03:03,500 I also got a stripper coming from Groupon. 47 00:03:03,525 --> 00:03:05,735 - Whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo! - Mm-hmm. 48 00:03:05,925 --> 00:03:07,375 You sure about the stripper, though? 49 00:03:07,400 --> 00:03:09,480 What? Rafi loves strippers. 50 00:03:09,505 --> 00:03:11,601 - His mom was a stripper. - Exactly. Stripper, alcohol... 51 00:03:11,625 --> 00:03:13,335 - I don't know. - You know what? Actually, 52 00:03:13,415 --> 00:03:15,061 We should probably order her before it gets too late. 53 00:03:15,085 --> 00:03:16,691 I need your help, 'cause we can customize her. 54 00:03:16,715 --> 00:03:18,321 - Okay. - Get a blonde. 55 00:03:18,346 --> 00:03:20,572 "Get a blonde"? No. A blonde's so boring. 56 00:03:20,627 --> 00:03:21,851 - Yuck. Gross. - You're a hater. 57 00:03:21,875 --> 00:03:23,125 No. Nelson's a blonde. 58 00:03:23,150 --> 00:03:24,710 We gotta get a girl he could never get. 59 00:03:24,945 --> 00:03:26,178 What he can't get? 60 00:03:26,203 --> 00:03:27,763 There's a lot of girls he couldn't get. 61 00:03:28,039 --> 00:03:29,369 Like a girl from Long Island 62 00:03:29,449 --> 00:03:30,845 who had One Direction play at her bat mitzvah. 63 00:03:30,869 --> 00:03:32,579 Couldn't get her. 64 00:03:32,659 --> 00:03:34,379 A Scottish lady who's into Highland dancing. 65 00:03:34,449 --> 00:03:36,068 - Hmm? - A Native American 66 00:03:36,093 --> 00:03:37,311 who's never been off the res. 67 00:03:37,343 --> 00:03:38,997 - I could keep going. - That's mad specific. 68 00:03:39,021 --> 00:03:40,021 Is that even an option? 69 00:03:40,046 --> 00:03:41,756 No, but you can pick a hair color. 70 00:03:42,010 --> 00:03:43,920 "Blonde, black, red, bald, 'fro." 71 00:03:44,010 --> 00:03:45,250 - Red. - Red. 72 00:03:45,340 --> 00:03:47,010 Okay. Breasts. 73 00:03:47,090 --> 00:03:48,590 - I like Bs. - I like Cs. 74 00:03:48,670 --> 00:03:50,130 - What about Ds? - Ds is cool. 75 00:03:50,210 --> 00:03:52,920 - What about double Ds? - Double Ds! 76 00:03:53,010 --> 00:03:54,670 Fs! 77 00:03:54,760 --> 00:03:56,300 - F is the wave. - F would be wild. 78 00:03:56,380 --> 00:03:58,170 - Let's get the wild. - Okay. F. 79 00:03:58,250 --> 00:03:59,760 Oh, no. F is extra. 80 00:03:59,840 --> 00:04:00,960 Oh. Get the Ds. 81 00:04:01,050 --> 00:04:03,510 Get the Ds. On it! 82 00:04:03,590 --> 00:04:05,920 "Searching." 83 00:04:06,010 --> 00:04:08,170 "Ember"! 84 00:04:08,250 --> 00:04:10,840 "An Ember to remember." 85 00:04:10,920 --> 00:04:13,250 She knows when to hold 'em. She knows when to fold 'em, 86 00:04:13,340 --> 00:04:14,646 "She knows when to sit on your dick." 87 00:04:14,670 --> 00:04:16,250 - That's a great brand. - Great brand. 88 00:04:16,340 --> 00:04:17,550 Order her. 89 00:04:27,840 --> 00:04:30,340 Come on. 90 00:04:30,420 --> 00:04:32,170 Come on. Come on. 91 00:04:32,250 --> 00:04:35,420 Shit. 92 00:04:35,510 --> 00:04:39,550 Oof. 93 00:04:44,630 --> 00:04:46,310 - Hi! - Come in, come in, come in. 94 00:04:46,380 --> 00:04:48,130 Hello. Hi, beauty. 95 00:04:48,210 --> 00:04:50,300 Hi. Oh, my God. 96 00:04:50,380 --> 00:04:51,960 Winnie, you look so different. 97 00:04:52,050 --> 00:04:53,550 Can you move back a bit, please? 98 00:04:53,630 --> 00:04:55,190 My personal space bubble's quite large. 99 00:04:55,250 --> 00:04:57,420 But you're not anymore. 100 00:04:57,510 --> 00:04:59,130 Doesn't she look amazing? 101 00:04:59,210 --> 00:05:01,250 Mm-hmm. Hey, who wants some wine? 102 00:05:01,340 --> 00:05:03,130 I do. What's the Wi-Fi? 103 00:05:03,210 --> 00:05:04,840 Oh, um, it's #blessed, 104 00:05:04,920 --> 00:05:07,630 smiley face, smiley face. 105 00:05:07,710 --> 00:05:09,510 - What do you think? - I like it. 106 00:05:09,535 --> 00:05:11,106 - Of the house? - But as you get older, 107 00:05:11,130 --> 00:05:13,500 you realize that less is more, you know? 108 00:05:13,624 --> 00:05:14,914 Uh-huh. 109 00:05:14,939 --> 00:05:17,376 - I almost died. - Yes, she did. 110 00:05:17,401 --> 00:05:20,268 But there's always a silver lining to every story. 111 00:05:21,089 --> 00:05:23,260 My kidneys nearly completely shut down. 112 00:05:23,285 --> 00:05:25,115 Yeah, but look what you got out of it. 113 00:05:25,120 --> 00:05:26,348 You dropped 30 pounds. 114 00:05:26,396 --> 00:05:28,146 I had to wear diapers for a month, 115 00:05:28,226 --> 00:05:30,476 which actually, I quite liked. 116 00:05:30,566 --> 00:05:32,516 I never had to get up to go to the bathroom. 117 00:05:32,606 --> 00:05:34,056 Thank you. 118 00:05:34,146 --> 00:05:36,516 So Dad's not... Dad's not coming in? 119 00:05:36,606 --> 00:05:38,896 Maybe I should start a line of adult diapers. 120 00:05:38,976 --> 00:05:42,878 But not for old people. For, like, cool young adults. 121 00:05:43,441 --> 00:05:44,825 Black for evening. 122 00:05:44,850 --> 00:05:46,096 Dad is not coming 123 00:05:46,105 --> 00:05:47,905 because he doesn't wanna see you in your dress 124 00:05:47,975 --> 00:05:49,935 before the big day. 125 00:05:50,015 --> 00:05:51,015 That's the groom, Mum. 126 00:05:51,055 --> 00:05:54,605 Would you shut up, Winnie? 127 00:05:54,685 --> 00:05:57,265 Ew. That's so gross. 128 00:06:00,015 --> 00:06:01,435 Wait, will you rub my feet? 129 00:06:01,515 --> 00:06:03,265 So catch up. Tell me about Bali. 130 00:06:03,355 --> 00:06:06,605 Oh, my God. I met this guru, Ravana Shiva. 131 00:06:06,685 --> 00:06:09,515 Oh, he's amazing. He's a spiritual healer. 132 00:06:09,605 --> 00:06:13,355 - Yeah? - He opened me up completely. 133 00:06:13,435 --> 00:06:15,855 I mean, I was really stuck before. 134 00:06:15,935 --> 00:06:19,515 Like, he massaged my eyes for, like, 20 minutes, 135 00:06:19,605 --> 00:06:22,276 and if he just touched my hair, 136 00:06:22,323 --> 00:06:23,839 I would have an orgasm. 137 00:06:23,895 --> 00:06:27,015 I would be laying on the table and just, like, 138 00:06:27,105 --> 00:06:30,355 shaking with this full-body vibration. 139 00:06:30,435 --> 00:06:33,265 He would just... he could... he sucked my toes. 140 00:06:34,645 --> 00:06:38,015 It was amazing. It was so freeing. 141 00:06:38,105 --> 00:06:41,395 Oh, God. 142 00:06:41,475 --> 00:06:45,265 - It's hot. - Yes, it is! 143 00:06:45,355 --> 00:06:48,815 - It's effin' hot. - I know. 144 00:06:48,895 --> 00:06:51,105 Maybe you shouldn't wear a sweater on your neck. 145 00:06:51,185 --> 00:06:52,791 - Come on. What are you doing? - I'm just saying. 146 00:06:52,815 --> 00:06:54,815 - No, what are you doing? - This is a will packet. 147 00:06:54,840 --> 00:06:56,840 - I got it at the post office. - Oh, God. 148 00:06:56,975 --> 00:06:59,055 It's always so effing depressing when I come in here. 149 00:06:59,145 --> 00:07:00,451 What's depressing about a will packet? 150 00:07:00,475 --> 00:07:01,791 Every time I come in here, somebody's dead 151 00:07:01,815 --> 00:07:03,031 or somebody's taking their meds 152 00:07:03,055 --> 00:07:04,435 or somebody's asleep on the couch. 153 00:07:04,515 --> 00:07:06,185 Well, jeez, I'm sorry that Joe died 154 00:07:06,265 --> 00:07:07,565 when it wasn't your timetable. 155 00:07:07,645 --> 00:07:09,417 No, come on. You don't have to do all this, Coll. 156 00:07:09,434 --> 00:07:12,307 I'm doing it. I'm doing it. And besides, it said right here 157 00:07:12,332 --> 00:07:15,238 that maybe I've got a good five or ten more years in me 158 00:07:15,263 --> 00:07:17,513 - and that's it. That's it. - Oh, Coll! Who said that? 159 00:07:17,593 --> 00:07:19,149 - A computer said... - They said it right there 160 00:07:19,173 --> 00:07:21,013 - on the computer. - That's a computer program! 161 00:07:21,053 --> 00:07:23,723 So that's it. I'm staying here. I am not moving, all right? 162 00:07:23,803 --> 00:07:25,553 And I'm going upstairs to take a shower. 163 00:07:25,633 --> 00:07:27,673 I'm so hot. 164 00:07:27,763 --> 00:07:29,263 You have psoriasis? 165 00:07:29,343 --> 00:07:30,843 Five to ten years left! 166 00:07:30,923 --> 00:07:32,403 Gross. 167 00:07:32,462 --> 00:07:34,028 So you'd go to Hawaii to go get a kombucha? 168 00:07:34,052 --> 00:07:35,862 Why don't you just go to Puerto Rico 169 00:07:35,887 --> 00:07:37,292 and do, like, the ayahuasca shit? 170 00:07:37,317 --> 00:07:38,737 My cousin does it all the time... 171 00:07:38,817 --> 00:07:40,497 Okay, guys! He-he's here. Hide, hide, hide. 172 00:07:40,522 --> 00:07:41,543 Quick, quick. Before he comes in. 173 00:07:41,567 --> 00:07:43,237 Come on, come on. 174 00:07:46,397 --> 00:07:47,607 Yo, Carlos. 175 00:07:47,697 --> 00:07:48,947 Yo, 'Los! 176 00:07:49,027 --> 00:07:51,317 Surprise! 177 00:07:51,397 --> 00:07:52,947 Ay! Whoa! 178 00:07:54,487 --> 00:07:56,397 Teta! Teta! 179 00:07:56,487 --> 00:07:58,163 Titties in your face! Titties in your face! 180 00:07:58,187 --> 00:08:00,317 Teta! Teta! 181 00:08:00,397 --> 00:08:02,487 This is your bachelor party 182 00:08:02,567 --> 00:08:04,487 in my house, courtesy of Bridge. 183 00:08:04,567 --> 00:08:06,487 - It's all her. - Thank you! 184 00:08:06,567 --> 00:08:08,237 - You did this? - Yep. 185 00:08:08,317 --> 00:08:09,897 - Coca Cola... - Bachelor party! 186 00:08:09,987 --> 00:08:11,827 - A cup for my big brother. - A cup? All right. 187 00:08:11,857 --> 00:08:13,857 No, I have this for you. It's a pink penis 188 00:08:13,947 --> 00:08:15,697 filled with coconut water. 189 00:08:15,777 --> 00:08:18,317 - Oh, thank you. - Okay. Let's get started. 190 00:08:19,947 --> 00:08:23,487 Nelson, why won't these things work? 191 00:08:23,567 --> 00:08:25,215 - Oh. - Mum, do you really 192 00:08:25,240 --> 00:08:28,137 need to charge every single one of your devices right now? 193 00:08:28,162 --> 00:08:29,702 Nelson's wearing the dress. 194 00:08:29,806 --> 00:08:31,806 Yeah, I do. 195 00:08:32,027 --> 00:08:34,176 - It's very tight. - How is that possible? 196 00:08:34,201 --> 00:08:36,580 You're like a skeleton with a wig on. 197 00:08:36,605 --> 00:08:37,613 - Hey. - Sorry. 198 00:08:37,668 --> 00:08:39,306 I'm very tired from the flight. 199 00:08:40,891 --> 00:08:42,871 Mom was in first class, but I was in economy. 200 00:08:42,951 --> 00:08:45,661 No, you were in economy plus. 201 00:08:45,741 --> 00:08:48,121 Gratitude, Winnie. 202 00:08:49,241 --> 00:08:53,199 Oh! You look so beautiful. 203 00:08:53,224 --> 00:08:56,279 - Whee. - Look at her. 204 00:08:56,373 --> 00:08:57,959 Yeah, you look like a painting. 205 00:08:57,983 --> 00:09:00,273 Actually, you look just like me. 206 00:09:00,363 --> 00:09:03,693 I was tiny. 207 00:09:03,773 --> 00:09:06,444 I wish your father was here to see you. 208 00:09:06,617 --> 00:09:08,447 - Don't you think? - Mm. 209 00:09:08,537 --> 00:09:10,367 One big, happy family. 210 00:09:10,447 --> 00:09:12,328 I think I know what he would say. 211 00:09:12,353 --> 00:09:15,157 - What? - "I am so honored 212 00:09:15,237 --> 00:09:18,717 to hand off my prettiest"... 213 00:09:18,742 --> 00:09:19,787 Stop. 214 00:09:19,867 --> 00:09:22,287 ... "sweetest, straightest"... 215 00:09:22,367 --> 00:09:24,117 Don't do this. 216 00:09:24,142 --> 00:09:25,540 ... "blondest daughter"... 217 00:09:25,565 --> 00:09:26,923 Oh, come on. 218 00:09:26,948 --> 00:09:28,251 "The one who, if she died," 219 00:09:28,276 --> 00:09:30,160 it would really mess me up for a while, 220 00:09:30,185 --> 00:09:32,132 "and she does have a job, which is good." 221 00:09:32,157 --> 00:09:34,077 Stop it. 222 00:09:34,157 --> 00:09:36,197 You are so funny, Winnie. 223 00:09:36,222 --> 00:09:39,092 But you know that we love you both exactly the same. 224 00:09:39,237 --> 00:09:41,287 Mm-hmm. Fuck, it's hot in here. 225 00:09:41,367 --> 00:09:43,447 Can you turn the air con up? 226 00:09:43,537 --> 00:09:46,947 Ugh, I can feel my fat flaps chafing. 227 00:09:47,027 --> 00:09:48,867 My thighs are all wet and sweaty. 228 00:09:48,947 --> 00:09:50,447 Here, let me fix this. 229 00:09:50,537 --> 00:09:52,027 Ooh. 230 00:09:52,117 --> 00:09:54,657 You are so gorgeous. 231 00:09:54,737 --> 00:09:56,577 - I'm excited. - You are? 232 00:09:56,657 --> 00:09:59,367 Yeah, I'm excited to... to wear this. 233 00:09:59,447 --> 00:10:02,327 - Yeah? - And get married. 234 00:10:02,407 --> 00:10:06,447 I know! My baby, you're gonna get married. 235 00:10:06,537 --> 00:10:08,197 - Mm-hmm. - My little one. 236 00:10:09,907 --> 00:10:11,737 You're so beautiful. 237 00:10:11,827 --> 00:10:15,117 You really are so pretty. 238 00:10:15,197 --> 00:10:17,237 You're gonna be a bride, yeah? 239 00:10:19,077 --> 00:10:21,237 Don't you feel sexy? 240 00:10:21,327 --> 00:10:23,287 So feminine and sensual. 241 00:10:23,367 --> 00:10:24,947 Get off. It's hot. 242 00:10:25,027 --> 00:10:26,947 - Yeah? - Told you it was hot in here. 243 00:10:27,027 --> 00:10:28,827 It is kind of hot in here. 244 00:10:31,617 --> 00:10:34,077 I feel like I can't breathe. Can you help me get out? 245 00:10:34,157 --> 00:10:35,513 - I need to take it off. - What? 246 00:10:35,537 --> 00:10:37,117 - I need to take it off. - Really? 247 00:10:37,197 --> 00:10:38,737 Um, I don't wanna wear this anymore. 248 00:10:38,827 --> 00:10:41,117 Okay. We're gonna... 249 00:10:41,197 --> 00:10:43,117 - Can you take it off? - Yes, I'm doing it. 250 00:10:43,197 --> 00:10:45,287 - Please hurry. - It's a really old zipper. 251 00:10:45,367 --> 00:10:47,867 Winnie! Can you come and help me? 252 00:10:47,947 --> 00:10:50,157 It's stuck in the lining. See? 253 00:10:50,237 --> 00:10:53,027 - Let me try. - Can you hurry? 254 00:10:53,117 --> 00:10:55,537 Oh, shit. Fuck, it's really stuck. 255 00:10:55,617 --> 00:10:57,197 Can we just pull it off really hard? 256 00:10:57,287 --> 00:10:58,827 No, 'cause you'll rip it. 257 00:10:58,907 --> 00:11:01,577 Hold on. Don't do that breathing thing like that. 258 00:11:01,657 --> 00:11:03,487 - I can't... - Hang on. 259 00:11:03,577 --> 00:11:05,367 I once stretched out a pair of jeans 260 00:11:05,392 --> 00:11:07,102 by soaking them in some hot water. 261 00:11:07,182 --> 00:11:08,213 - Really? - Yeah. 262 00:11:08,238 --> 00:11:09,947 Just... 263 00:11:11,657 --> 00:11:12,947 One, two, three. 264 00:11:13,027 --> 00:11:15,117 Go! 265 00:11:15,197 --> 00:11:16,947 ♪ Hey, ladies ♪ 266 00:11:17,027 --> 00:11:19,157 ♪ You wanna get it started? ♪ 267 00:11:19,237 --> 00:11:21,487 ♪ Hey, ladies ♪ 268 00:11:21,577 --> 00:11:24,117 ♪ Oh, you the party, hey ♪ 269 00:11:24,197 --> 00:11:26,117 ♪ If you the party, I'ma get at you ♪ 270 00:11:26,197 --> 00:11:28,157 ♪ Ay, if you the party, I'ma get at you... ♪ 271 00:11:28,237 --> 00:11:29,867 You a lying motherfucker, bro! 272 00:11:29,947 --> 00:11:32,487 ♪ So where you at? So where you at? ♪ 273 00:11:32,577 --> 00:11:34,407 ♪ Ay, get it, get it, get it ♪ 274 00:11:34,487 --> 00:11:36,287 ♪ Get it, yeah ♪ 275 00:11:36,367 --> 00:11:38,027 ♪ Get, get, get, get it, yeah, yeah ♪ 276 00:11:38,117 --> 00:11:40,027 ♪ Get, get, get, get it, yeah, yeah, yeah ♪ 277 00:11:40,117 --> 00:11:41,987 ♪ Yeah ♪ 278 00:11:42,012 --> 00:11:43,147 Her mood swings 279 00:11:43,171 --> 00:11:45,487 ranging from elation to despair, 280 00:11:45,577 --> 00:11:47,537 she describes dying as an art. 281 00:11:47,617 --> 00:11:49,697 - Mm. - In her famous poem 282 00:11:49,787 --> 00:11:51,638 Lady Lazarus, written shortly 283 00:11:51,669 --> 00:11:53,261 after she and Ted separated... 284 00:11:53,327 --> 00:11:54,697 - Hey. - Hey. 285 00:11:54,787 --> 00:11:56,577 - What are you doing now? - Oh, thank you. 286 00:11:56,657 --> 00:11:58,053 ... Sylvia speaks about her depression... 287 00:11:58,077 --> 00:12:00,407 That thing just said I'm gonna live to 120. 288 00:12:00,487 --> 00:12:02,947 I bet you will. 289 00:12:03,027 --> 00:12:04,867 Oh, fuck, it's hot. 290 00:12:04,947 --> 00:12:06,867 ... physical aggression, and many say 291 00:12:06,947 --> 00:12:08,303 this abusive relationship ultimately led... 292 00:12:08,327 --> 00:12:09,947 Oh, shit. 293 00:12:10,027 --> 00:12:11,343 ... to Sylvia's suicide. 294 00:12:11,367 --> 00:12:13,447 Oh, shit, no. Not that again. 295 00:12:13,537 --> 00:12:14,827 - What again? - Depressing stuff. 296 00:12:14,907 --> 00:12:17,657 It's real life, Jackie. Open your eyes. 297 00:12:17,737 --> 00:12:19,093 I know it's real life. It's also real boring. 298 00:12:19,117 --> 00:12:20,487 It's real depressing. 299 00:12:20,577 --> 00:12:22,237 Oh, come on. 300 00:12:22,327 --> 00:12:23,787 It's mother's milk to me, honey. 301 00:12:23,867 --> 00:12:25,287 Oh, please. 302 00:12:25,367 --> 00:12:27,657 She was a local, you know? Boston. 303 00:12:27,737 --> 00:12:29,577 "I rise with my red hair", 304 00:12:29,657 --> 00:12:31,407 and I eat men like air." 305 00:12:33,027 --> 00:12:34,787 What the fuck is she talking about? 306 00:12:34,867 --> 00:12:36,947 Oh, she's talking about she's underappreciated, 307 00:12:37,027 --> 00:12:39,027 and you know what? 308 00:12:39,117 --> 00:12:41,784 She's still got it in her to rip their heads off, you know? 309 00:12:41,917 --> 00:12:43,447 Oh, yeah, you got that from the poem. 310 00:12:43,537 --> 00:12:45,558 - I did. - Oh, God, it's hot. 311 00:12:45,745 --> 00:12:47,737 It is hot. Oh, Jackie. 312 00:12:47,827 --> 00:12:49,303 - We're going to the beach. - We're what? 313 00:12:49,327 --> 00:12:50,803 - Let's go to the beach. - No, Jackie. 314 00:12:50,827 --> 00:12:52,697 - Yeah. - Come on. I don't wanna go 315 00:12:52,787 --> 00:12:54,463 - to the beach now, Jackie. - I'm getting your swimsuit. 316 00:12:54,487 --> 00:12:55,617 The sand sticks everywhere. 317 00:12:55,697 --> 00:12:57,197 You get it in your hoo-ha. Forget it. 318 00:12:57,287 --> 00:12:58,907 Where's your swimsuit? Coll? 319 00:12:58,987 --> 00:13:01,407 It's in my luggage right there. 320 00:13:01,487 --> 00:13:04,237 Your luggage? Where you going? 321 00:13:04,327 --> 00:13:05,577 It's from the river cruise. 322 00:13:05,657 --> 00:13:07,867 I haven't been able to unpack it. 323 00:13:10,827 --> 00:13:13,077 We can unpack it together. 324 00:13:13,157 --> 00:13:15,237 ... drawn to Hughes, who she described... 325 00:13:15,327 --> 00:13:18,287 You want me to do it? 326 00:13:18,367 --> 00:13:19,577 Sure. 327 00:13:19,657 --> 00:13:21,287 - Yeah. - You know what I'll do? 328 00:13:21,367 --> 00:13:22,537 I'll go out on the back porch 329 00:13:22,617 --> 00:13:25,157 and I'll fill up Larry's kiddy pool. 330 00:13:25,237 --> 00:13:28,027 You come out when you're done. 331 00:13:29,907 --> 00:13:31,307 Ay! 332 00:13:31,367 --> 00:13:34,697 Oh! 333 00:13:34,787 --> 00:13:36,987 Let's go! 334 00:13:37,077 --> 00:13:38,697 Ay! Ay! 335 00:13:42,117 --> 00:13:43,697 No! 336 00:13:43,787 --> 00:13:45,077 Ah! 337 00:13:47,657 --> 00:13:49,003 You should be wearing this shit, though. 338 00:13:49,027 --> 00:13:50,617 "Hola, wife. Adiós, life." Hola, wife. 339 00:13:50,697 --> 00:13:52,537 Okay, everyone. Listen up. 340 00:13:52,617 --> 00:13:53,803 It's time to give Rafi advice. 341 00:13:53,827 --> 00:13:55,966 You gotta give Rafi some advice as he embarks 342 00:13:55,991 --> 00:13:57,907 - on this journey. - No. Boo. Nah. 343 00:13:57,987 --> 00:13:59,867 - You're first. - Uh... 344 00:13:59,947 --> 00:14:02,197 now that you're getting married, 345 00:14:02,287 --> 00:14:05,077 next time, don't send a picture of Nelson's tits, 346 00:14:05,157 --> 00:14:06,827 because I can't unsee these no more. 347 00:14:06,907 --> 00:14:08,383 What? That's not... 348 00:14:08,407 --> 00:14:09,501 - I don't like that shit. - Stop. 349 00:14:09,525 --> 00:14:12,487 - That's so fucked up. - We weren't serious yet. 350 00:14:12,577 --> 00:14:13,963 - I mean, you're kind of right. - Yo, delete that shit. 351 00:14:13,987 --> 00:14:16,367 I mean, I masturbated to those tits so many times. 352 00:14:16,447 --> 00:14:17,827 - You what? - What? 353 00:14:21,737 --> 00:14:22,737 I'm just kidding. 354 00:14:24,327 --> 00:14:27,827 Ay! 355 00:14:27,907 --> 00:14:29,447 - They ain't even that nice. - Stop. 356 00:14:29,537 --> 00:14:30,883 No, they're nice. She's so beautiful. 357 00:14:30,907 --> 00:14:32,487 Yo, Carlos, you see what you did? 358 00:14:32,577 --> 00:14:33,763 - Change the subject. - Yeah, she's beautiful. 359 00:14:33,787 --> 00:14:35,827 She's hot. She's hot, but, like... 360 00:14:35,907 --> 00:14:38,173 I like Nelson, but just... nah, y'all are laughing at shit, 361 00:14:38,197 --> 00:14:40,237 but, like, if that white South African bitch 362 00:14:40,327 --> 00:14:41,547 do some shit to you, I'll, like... 363 00:14:43,367 --> 00:14:44,763 Like, I'll fucking kill that bitch like it's no... 364 00:14:44,787 --> 00:14:46,537 - She's South African? - Australian. 365 00:14:46,617 --> 00:14:48,644 Whatever, but, like, I support you, 366 00:14:48,669 --> 00:14:51,447 and you, you... 367 00:14:51,537 --> 00:14:52,787 you're worth love. 368 00:14:52,867 --> 00:14:55,117 That's all I gotta say. You're worth love. 369 00:14:55,197 --> 00:14:56,784 - That means so much to me. - I love you, Rafi. 370 00:14:56,808 --> 00:14:59,128 - I love you, sis. All right? - Okay, I'll go next. 371 00:14:59,152 --> 00:15:00,424 - My turn. - Oh, no. 372 00:15:00,440 --> 00:15:02,360 I feel like I'm giving away the bride. 373 00:15:02,440 --> 00:15:04,440 Um... 374 00:15:05,201 --> 00:15:06,411 no, for real, though. 375 00:15:06,436 --> 00:15:07,936 I was thinking about it earlier, 376 00:15:07,961 --> 00:15:09,552 and I was thinking about the time 377 00:15:09,576 --> 00:15:11,060 when I was eight months pregnant, 378 00:15:11,085 --> 00:15:13,182 you were passed out on the one piece of furniture we had 379 00:15:13,206 --> 00:15:15,076 and you told me you had the flu. 380 00:15:15,156 --> 00:15:17,616 But really, you were high on syrup. 381 00:15:17,706 --> 00:15:20,496 Uh, and I was thinking about the time 382 00:15:20,576 --> 00:15:23,616 you needed to go get that OxyContin or whatever 383 00:15:23,706 --> 00:15:25,906 from that guy in Maryland... Baltimore, 384 00:15:25,996 --> 00:15:27,566 and you were begging me to come with you, 385 00:15:27,590 --> 00:15:29,104 but my grandma was in the hospital. 386 00:15:29,129 --> 00:15:30,374 You were like, "Baby, I need you. I just need you." 387 00:15:30,398 --> 00:15:31,674 I can't be away from you," 388 00:15:31,706 --> 00:15:34,416 and so I went with you instead of visiting my grandmother. 389 00:15:34,496 --> 00:15:36,496 Remember? 390 00:15:39,286 --> 00:15:41,866 And then she died. 391 00:15:41,956 --> 00:15:43,842 And then I was thinking about the time 392 00:15:43,866 --> 00:15:47,689 that... I mean, the many times, 393 00:15:47,714 --> 00:15:49,611 but this one stood out in particular, 394 00:15:49,636 --> 00:15:53,206 where I locked myself in our room with all that takeout 395 00:15:53,331 --> 00:15:55,476 and hundreds of dollars' worth of groceries. 396 00:15:55,556 --> 00:15:57,556 And you dragged me out 397 00:15:57,636 --> 00:15:59,369 and you made me go to the Museum of Fine Arts 398 00:15:59,393 --> 00:16:01,016 even though you hate art 399 00:16:01,096 --> 00:16:03,636 'cause you knew that was what I needed. 400 00:16:03,726 --> 00:16:06,436 And so we've seen each other at our worst, 401 00:16:06,516 --> 00:16:08,476 at our shittiest, 402 00:16:08,556 --> 00:16:10,596 and yet, here we are... 403 00:16:10,676 --> 00:16:13,976 you know, doing the boob race and pin the hair on the pussy 404 00:16:14,056 --> 00:16:16,186 and all of us here together. 405 00:16:16,266 --> 00:16:18,085 Just, my point is that 406 00:16:18,195 --> 00:16:19,585 we've been through some shit 407 00:16:19,610 --> 00:16:23,028 and never gave up on each other. 408 00:16:23,126 --> 00:16:25,456 And... you're such a good dad. 409 00:16:25,481 --> 00:16:26,941 You need some tissue? 410 00:16:26,966 --> 00:16:28,343 Cheers. 411 00:16:28,368 --> 00:16:30,328 - Salud! - Yeah, salud, salud, salud. 412 00:16:30,353 --> 00:16:32,431 - I love you so much. - I love you too. 413 00:16:32,468 --> 00:16:35,128 - I'm here for you forever. - Cheers. Me too. 414 00:16:35,218 --> 00:16:37,588 But I wanna tell y'all about the time... 415 00:16:37,678 --> 00:16:41,310 that he shit his pants in fucking Target. 416 00:16:41,380 --> 00:16:42,652 - Get the fuck out of here. - In Target! 417 00:16:42,676 --> 00:16:44,177 - You wish. - It's 'cause of 418 00:16:44,202 --> 00:16:46,654 all the supplements you take. It's not good for you. 419 00:16:46,679 --> 00:16:48,165 Yo, Raf, you had white tighty-whities on... 420 00:16:49,979 --> 00:16:52,059 - That shit is real. - I did not hear that story. 421 00:16:52,139 --> 00:16:54,325 - The fuck, Raf? - You need some more? 422 00:16:54,349 --> 00:16:56,519 Um, I need to slow down. I need to slow down. 423 00:16:56,599 --> 00:16:58,075 Yeah, slow it down, 424 00:16:58,099 --> 00:17:00,269 slow it down. 425 00:17:47,679 --> 00:17:49,200 Coll? 426 00:17:49,225 --> 00:17:50,389 Yeah? 427 00:17:50,479 --> 00:17:52,349 I found this in your suitcase. 428 00:17:52,439 --> 00:17:54,139 Oh, yeah? What's that? 429 00:17:54,229 --> 00:17:55,939 It's from Joe. 430 00:17:58,939 --> 00:18:01,389 Oh, Jack. I don't know if I can do it. 431 00:18:04,439 --> 00:18:06,099 I can't, Jack. 432 00:18:06,189 --> 00:18:08,139 You read it. 433 00:18:18,889 --> 00:18:20,559 Jackie! Read it out loud. 434 00:18:20,639 --> 00:18:23,229 Well, I wanted to make sure that there wasn't anything 435 00:18:23,309 --> 00:18:24,639 in it that would upset you, or... 436 00:18:24,729 --> 00:18:26,979 "Dear Colleen"... 437 00:18:27,059 --> 00:18:31,349 "Imagine a happy group of morons carrying brick"... 438 00:18:33,309 --> 00:18:35,389 ... "day in and day out. 439 00:18:35,479 --> 00:18:38,679 One day, one of the morons realizes 440 00:18:38,769 --> 00:18:41,309 he can't carry his bricks anymore, 441 00:18:41,389 --> 00:18:46,269 so another moron generously takes on his load. 442 00:18:46,349 --> 00:18:49,389 We are the morons. 443 00:18:49,479 --> 00:18:53,059 I read that in a book once, Coll. 444 00:18:53,139 --> 00:18:56,729 I'm sorry you had to take care of me all these years. 445 00:18:56,809 --> 00:18:59,389 The truth is, I've been planning to do this 446 00:18:59,479 --> 00:19:03,599 since the second time I got out of the hospital. 447 00:19:03,679 --> 00:19:05,769 But I selfishly wanted 448 00:19:05,849 --> 00:19:10,189 to spend more time with you. 449 00:19:10,269 --> 00:19:12,059 But you're free now. 450 00:19:12,139 --> 00:19:15,229 Make your next chapter all for you. 451 00:19:15,309 --> 00:19:17,349 Don't wait. 452 00:19:17,439 --> 00:19:19,769 "Me and God are watching." 453 00:19:31,986 --> 00:19:35,449 ♪ Give me expert sexy women, manicure, pedicure... ♪ 454 00:19:35,519 --> 00:19:37,189 Bridge. The stripper, where is she? 455 00:19:37,269 --> 00:19:39,139 She's coming soon. 456 00:19:39,229 --> 00:19:42,349 - I ordered her. - You said that an hour ago. 457 00:19:42,439 --> 00:19:44,679 She should be here. Just chill. 458 00:19:51,189 --> 00:19:53,535 That's... that's a virus. That's what they call a virus. 459 00:19:55,639 --> 00:19:58,229 ♪ Kiss me all night ♪ 460 00:19:58,309 --> 00:20:02,479 ♪ If you play your cards right, play your cards... ♪ 461 00:20:02,504 --> 00:20:04,044 Hey, did you get... oh! 462 00:20:04,189 --> 00:20:05,575 Fuck that fucking stripper. 463 00:20:05,599 --> 00:20:07,309 Maybe we need a warmup act, huh? 464 00:20:07,389 --> 00:20:09,019 - Yeah! - Turn on the music. 465 00:20:09,099 --> 00:20:11,278 Come on. 466 00:20:11,303 --> 00:20:15,263 Yeah! You the one! 467 00:20:15,288 --> 00:20:16,958 Now get your fucking money out. 468 00:20:17,089 --> 00:20:19,169 Party's starting now! Take it off, take it off! 469 00:20:19,479 --> 00:20:21,389 Yeah! 470 00:20:21,519 --> 00:20:23,599 And I'm not talking about ones! 471 00:20:23,679 --> 00:20:25,389 All right, you're... you're almost there. 472 00:20:25,479 --> 00:20:27,955 You're almost there. Whoo! There it goes. 473 00:20:27,980 --> 00:20:31,141 - Get it, Bridgette! - A girls gotta live, right? 474 00:20:31,166 --> 00:20:33,189 Nah. You gonna get all my money, Bridge. 475 00:20:33,269 --> 00:20:35,269 Oh! Abuelita panties is on! 476 00:20:35,349 --> 00:20:37,435 - Granny panties! - I got 20 for that. Yeah! 477 00:20:37,460 --> 00:20:39,443 Where's your money, huh? Huh? Where's your money? 478 00:20:39,468 --> 00:20:42,139 Oh, but you're broke as fuck, huh? 479 00:20:42,229 --> 00:20:43,785 Yeah, you want some of this? 480 00:20:43,809 --> 00:20:46,139 I'm putting on a show for you. 481 00:20:46,229 --> 00:20:48,019 - Oh, yeah! - You said you'd give me 482 00:20:48,099 --> 00:20:49,939 everything I need, right? 483 00:21:23,519 --> 00:21:25,189 Bridgette. 484 00:21:25,269 --> 00:21:26,729 Bridgette. Stop. 485 00:21:26,809 --> 00:21:29,439 Oh! Are you okay? 486 00:21:29,519 --> 00:21:31,939 Get the fuck away from me. 487 00:21:32,019 --> 00:21:34,229 A girl's gotta do what she's gotta do, right? 488 00:21:34,309 --> 00:21:35,889 - Right. - Who wants a dance? 489 00:21:35,979 --> 00:21:37,439 Stop it, Bridge. 490 00:21:37,519 --> 00:21:38,995 What? I'm just trying to make a living. 491 00:21:39,019 --> 00:21:41,809 I'm just trying to put my kid through preschool. 492 00:21:41,889 --> 00:21:43,889 - Stop. - What? 493 00:21:43,914 --> 00:21:45,874 - Bridgette, stop. - You stop. 494 00:21:45,899 --> 00:21:46,955 - Stop it, Bridgette. - Stop what? 495 00:21:46,979 --> 00:21:48,160 - Bridgette. - Stop what? 496 00:21:48,185 --> 00:21:49,434 Oh, why? You wanna buy a ring 497 00:21:49,459 --> 00:21:50,710 instead of sending Larry to preschool? 498 00:21:50,734 --> 00:21:52,796 You want our kid not to go to the good preschool... 499 00:21:52,849 --> 00:21:54,219 - Bridgette, you're drunk! - So you can buy a fucking diamond ring? 500 00:21:54,243 --> 00:21:55,703 What the fuck was that? I just saw! 501 00:21:55,828 --> 00:21:57,483 - Stop it. You're drunk. - I just fucking saw. 502 00:21:57,507 --> 00:21:59,707 - Turn that music off. - Four thousand dollars? 503 00:21:59,740 --> 00:22:00,900 You're so fucked up. 504 00:22:00,925 --> 00:22:02,385 You're fucked up. 505 00:22:02,410 --> 00:22:04,410 Fuck you. 506 00:22:10,297 --> 00:22:12,007 - Hi! - Hi. 507 00:22:12,087 --> 00:22:14,127 - This the bachelor party? - They're inside. 508 00:22:14,217 --> 00:22:15,337 - Okay, thanks. - Yeah. 509 00:22:15,417 --> 00:22:17,007 Hey! 510 00:22:17,087 --> 00:22:20,249 - Hey! - Hey, baby. 511 00:22:20,328 --> 00:22:21,908 Feeling lucky today? 512 00:22:21,988 --> 00:22:23,828 Pick a card, any card. 513 00:22:23,908 --> 00:22:26,038 Why don't you pick a card? Don't be shy. 514 00:22:26,063 --> 00:22:27,858 Let me see what's under that pillow. 515 00:22:27,883 --> 00:22:30,473 - Oh, yeah! - It's my lucky day. 516 00:22:30,498 --> 00:22:32,668 Oh, stop that shit. You make me blush and shit. 517 00:22:32,948 --> 00:22:34,583 I'll see you later. Hey! 518 00:22:34,608 --> 00:22:36,198 No, thank you. I'm out. 519 00:22:36,288 --> 00:22:37,908 Bridgette? 520 00:22:37,988 --> 00:22:39,828 Oh, my God. Jill, hi! 521 00:22:39,853 --> 00:22:42,454 - Bridgette? - Oh, I'm so happy to see you. 522 00:22:42,479 --> 00:22:44,002 - Oh, my God. What the fuck? - You have no idea. 523 00:22:44,026 --> 00:22:45,776 I've had such a fucked up day. 524 00:22:46,595 --> 00:22:48,345 Oh, you guys, this is my friend Jill. 525 00:22:48,425 --> 00:22:50,675 We were in the same incest survivors group in rehab. 526 00:22:50,755 --> 00:22:53,345 - Don't. - It was just a workshop. 527 00:22:53,425 --> 00:22:55,715 I'm on the clock, so... 528 00:22:55,805 --> 00:22:57,629 time to dance for you guys, right? 529 00:22:57,654 --> 00:22:59,623 - Yeah! - Are you ready for some dancing? 530 00:22:59,654 --> 00:23:01,849 - Ember! - Empty those pockets! 531 00:23:01,874 --> 00:23:04,044 Who wants to see a sexy dance? 532 00:23:04,098 --> 00:23:06,598 - All right, Ember. - Ember! 533 00:23:06,623 --> 00:23:09,203 You don't have to do it, you know. 534 00:23:09,715 --> 00:23:12,095 You don't have to get married. 535 00:23:12,175 --> 00:23:15,755 I mean, you're amazing. You have this amazing career 536 00:23:15,845 --> 00:23:18,218 and you love what you're doing. 537 00:23:18,243 --> 00:23:19,374 And look at Winnie. 538 00:23:19,399 --> 00:23:21,570 She's saving all those street dogs 539 00:23:21,595 --> 00:23:24,755 and being gay. 540 00:23:24,845 --> 00:23:27,095 You have to make yourselves happy. 541 00:23:27,175 --> 00:23:28,595 Honestly. 542 00:23:30,635 --> 00:23:33,635 Is that my phone? Did I... do you hear my phone? 543 00:23:33,715 --> 00:23:35,095 Yeah. 544 00:23:35,175 --> 00:23:38,005 Okay, I'm gonna go face with Dad. 545 00:23:38,095 --> 00:23:39,715 Facetime. 546 00:23:39,805 --> 00:23:41,715 Face-fucking-time. 547 00:23:41,805 --> 00:23:44,175 Okay. Peace out. 548 00:23:46,135 --> 00:23:48,805 So I've been thinking... 549 00:23:48,885 --> 00:23:50,465 we should kill Mom. 550 00:23:50,545 --> 00:23:52,305 Or... 551 00:23:52,385 --> 00:23:55,345 you could just get yourself the fuck out of that dress. 552 00:24:00,345 --> 00:24:02,715 Don't be a fake. 553 00:24:37,635 --> 00:24:40,755 You're still here? 554 00:24:40,845 --> 00:24:42,675 Yeah, I have to stay out of the house 555 00:24:42,755 --> 00:24:45,425 until Nelson's mom leaves 556 00:24:45,505 --> 00:24:48,755 so I don't see her in her wedding dress. 557 00:24:48,845 --> 00:24:51,595 - Well, that's stupid. - So stupid. 558 00:24:51,675 --> 00:24:55,055 So you just waited here? 559 00:24:55,135 --> 00:24:57,465 I'm so stupid. 560 00:24:57,545 --> 00:24:59,885 No, you're not. 561 00:24:59,965 --> 00:25:04,175 It's just a lot of money to spend on nothing. 562 00:25:08,505 --> 00:25:10,845 Did you even look at the website? 563 00:25:10,925 --> 00:25:14,845 The preschool has telescopes in every classroom. 564 00:25:14,925 --> 00:25:17,385 It's, like, state-of-the-art. 565 00:25:17,465 --> 00:25:20,345 Yeah, they got this whole science lab 566 00:25:20,425 --> 00:25:23,595 and this whole gymnasium and, like, fields for days. 567 00:25:23,675 --> 00:25:26,635 They even do camping trips twice a year. 568 00:25:26,715 --> 00:25:28,545 They even have an elephant. 569 00:25:28,635 --> 00:25:30,845 - They have a elephant? - Well, no, 570 00:25:30,925 --> 00:25:32,565 but... it's the type of school that would. 571 00:25:32,635 --> 00:25:34,345 That would have an elephant. 572 00:25:34,425 --> 00:25:37,595 It's really cool. 573 00:25:37,675 --> 00:25:42,135 I want all that for Larry. 574 00:25:42,215 --> 00:25:44,885 I don't want him to be a fuckup like me. 575 00:25:53,845 --> 00:25:56,095 I want you to go to our wedding. 576 00:25:56,175 --> 00:25:58,385 You should be there. 577 00:26:14,885 --> 00:26:17,635 Bye, Rafi. 578 00:27:09,175 --> 00:27:11,505 Supahsmaht. 579 00:27:11,529 --> 00:27:16,529 - Synced and corrected by Firefly - - www.addic7ed.com - 40897

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