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1
00:00:06,467 --> 00:00:08,534
Now little Ed,
mommy and auntie Roseanne
2
00:00:08,534 --> 00:00:09,968
Are going to play bingo.
3
00:00:09,968 --> 00:00:12,534
Becky and Darlene
will be looking after you.
4
00:00:12,534 --> 00:00:14,033
Darlene,
remember what to do
5
00:00:14,033 --> 00:00:16,033
if the baby
starts spitting up?
6
00:00:16,033 --> 00:00:18,300
Yeah. I give him
to Becky.
7
00:00:18,300 --> 00:00:21,167
Oh, I'm making
a horrible mistake.
8
00:00:21,167 --> 00:00:22,834
Crystal,
we'll be fine.
9
00:00:22,834 --> 00:00:25,467
O.k. I left two bottles
in the fridge.
10
00:00:25,467 --> 00:00:26,968
And we
heat them first.
11
00:00:26,968 --> 00:00:29,100
Don't heat them
in the microwave
12
00:00:29,100 --> 00:00:31,434
'Cause I heard
it's dangerous
for the baby.
13
00:00:31,434 --> 00:00:34,200
Only if the baby's
still hanging on to it.
14
00:00:34,200 --> 00:00:36,767
And--and be careful
of his soft spot.
15
00:00:36,767 --> 00:00:38,767
He's got
a soft spot here.
16
00:00:38,767 --> 00:00:41,467
We better not
find anything stuck
in that head
17
00:00:41,467 --> 00:00:43,400
that's not supposed
to be there
18
00:00:43,400 --> 00:00:45,000
when we get back.
19
00:00:45,000 --> 00:00:46,167
Don't worry.
20
00:00:46,167 --> 00:00:48,300
Ooh, yes, yes.
21
00:00:48,300 --> 00:00:50,400
Darlene, you help
your sister out,
22
00:00:50,400 --> 00:00:52,834
or she's going to keep
all the money.
23
00:00:52,834 --> 00:00:54,200
O.k. I feed,
you wipe.
24
00:00:54,200 --> 00:00:56,901
You got the numbers
to the bingo hall
25
00:00:56,901 --> 00:00:58,334
and the doctor's service.
26
00:00:58,334 --> 00:01:00,367
Call if you have
any questions.
27
00:01:00,367 --> 00:01:02,734
O.k., bye, honey.
We won't be gone too long.
28
00:01:02,734 --> 00:01:04,901
Everything's going
to be all right.
29
00:01:04,901 --> 00:01:07,234
Come on, Crystal, don't
you think it's time
you cut the cord already?
30
00:01:07,234 --> 00:01:09,767
It's important to talk
to your children, Roseanne.
31
00:01:09,767 --> 00:01:11,267
They are people,
you know.
32
00:01:11,267 --> 00:01:14,200
Where do you come up
with this stuff?
33
00:02:29,033 --> 00:02:31,300
N-41.
34
00:02:31,300 --> 00:02:33,467
N-41.
35
00:02:37,033 --> 00:02:39,267
B-11.
36
00:02:39,267 --> 00:02:42,968
B-11.
37
00:02:42,968 --> 00:02:44,200
Oh, man.
38
00:02:44,200 --> 00:02:47,100
Are you sure
we're old enough
to get in here?
39
00:02:47,100 --> 00:02:49,167
This looks like
where people go
40
00:02:49,167 --> 00:02:51,634
when they can't play
shuffleboard no more.
41
00:02:51,634 --> 00:02:53,133
Ah, you just wait.
42
00:02:53,133 --> 00:02:54,701
Bingo can be
real exciting.
43
00:02:54,701 --> 00:02:57,400
N-34.
44
00:02:57,400 --> 00:03:00,067
N-34.
45
00:03:00,067 --> 00:03:01,634
You're messing
with us, right?
46
00:03:01,634 --> 00:03:03,000
They got naked
male strippers
47
00:03:03,000 --> 00:03:05,033
behind the door
over there.
48
00:03:05,033 --> 00:03:06,734
Oh, come on,
Roseanne.
49
00:03:06,734 --> 00:03:08,667
Let's give it
a chance.
50
00:03:08,667 --> 00:03:09,667
Thank you.
51
00:03:09,667 --> 00:03:11,434
Maybe they got cake.
52
00:03:11,434 --> 00:03:14,000
It so happens
I know a woman
53
00:03:14,000 --> 00:03:16,501
who won $75 here
the other night.
54
00:03:16,501 --> 00:03:18,234
Oh, really?
Did she retire
55
00:03:18,234 --> 00:03:20,734
or keep going
to work every day
56
00:03:20,734 --> 00:03:22,234
just like
nothing happened?
57
00:03:22,234 --> 00:03:24,334
G-50.
58
00:03:24,334 --> 00:03:25,667
G-50.
59
00:03:25,667 --> 00:03:28,801
Boy, I bet this guy
does a mean I-22.
60
00:03:28,801 --> 00:03:30,400
Shh.
61
00:03:30,400 --> 00:03:31,801
O.k., what's the deal?
62
00:03:31,801 --> 00:03:34,367
Cards are $2.00 apiece.
6 Cards minimum.
63
00:03:34,367 --> 00:03:36,701
You're kidding me?
12 Bucks? What a racket.
64
00:03:36,701 --> 00:03:39,501
Roseanne, please,
they know me here.
65
00:03:39,501 --> 00:03:40,501
Oh.
66
00:03:40,501 --> 00:03:42,467
Sorry, sister.
67
00:03:42,467 --> 00:03:45,868
We could've gone
to a movie for 5 bucks.
68
00:03:45,868 --> 00:03:47,167
Well, it's for charity.
69
00:03:47,167 --> 00:03:49,300
The money goes
to needy families.
70
00:03:49,300 --> 00:03:50,300
Oh, o.k.
71
00:03:50,300 --> 00:03:53,300
Well, then I guess
we get reimbursed.
72
00:03:56,100 --> 00:03:57,100
New game.
73
00:03:57,100 --> 00:03:58,634
Straight bingo.
74
00:03:58,634 --> 00:04:00,701
$35 Jackpot.
75
00:04:01,868 --> 00:04:04,400
I-17.
76
00:04:04,400 --> 00:04:05,501
Excuse me.
77
00:04:05,501 --> 00:04:06,901
That's
too close.
78
00:04:06,901 --> 00:04:09,567
Too close to what?
79
00:04:09,567 --> 00:04:11,601
My area.
Don't you see?
80
00:04:11,601 --> 00:04:13,534
I'm all set up here.
81
00:04:22,801 --> 00:04:24,767
Sorry!
82
00:04:24,767 --> 00:04:26,167
What's this for?
83
00:04:26,167 --> 00:04:27,300
Aah!
84
00:04:28,567 --> 00:04:30,200
Don't you
touch this.
85
00:04:30,200 --> 00:04:32,200
Don't touch
anything of mine.
86
00:04:32,200 --> 00:04:33,701
You'll jinx me.
87
00:04:42,000 --> 00:04:46,133
Are you a good witch
or a bad witch?
88
00:04:46,133 --> 00:04:47,634
I won 200 bucks
89
00:04:47,634 --> 00:04:50,300
over at
the methodist place
last friday,
90
00:04:50,300 --> 00:04:51,868
so shut up!
91
00:04:51,868 --> 00:04:54,934
I-17.
92
00:04:54,934 --> 00:04:56,367
Bingo!
93
00:05:01,033 --> 00:05:03,100
I hate new people.
94
00:05:05,100 --> 00:05:06,701
I hear you.
95
00:05:06,701 --> 00:05:09,767
B-5.
96
00:05:09,767 --> 00:05:10,767
Oh, darn.
97
00:05:10,767 --> 00:05:12,767
You know what
your problem is?
98
00:05:12,767 --> 00:05:15,267
You only got $2,000
worth of cards there.
99
00:05:15,267 --> 00:05:17,300
I think you need more.
100
00:05:17,300 --> 00:05:21,567
I think maybe
you need to go
find another seat.
101
00:05:21,567 --> 00:05:23,067
I can't.
102
00:05:23,067 --> 00:05:26,000
I think I'm falling
in love with you.
103
00:05:28,734 --> 00:05:31,968
N-32.
104
00:05:31,968 --> 00:05:33,801
N-32.
105
00:05:33,801 --> 00:05:35,167
Coffee.
106
00:05:35,167 --> 00:05:38,501
Ooh, Crystal,
you woke me up.
107
00:05:38,501 --> 00:05:41,067
Oh, god,
I am so bored.
108
00:05:41,067 --> 00:05:45,033
You know,
I think I'm starting
to miss my husband.
109
00:05:45,033 --> 00:05:48,701
Hey, I vote we don't let
Crystal pick what we do
110
00:05:48,701 --> 00:05:50,834
on our nights out anymore.
111
00:05:50,834 --> 00:05:53,367
I'm sorry you're
all having such
a terrible time.
112
00:05:53,367 --> 00:05:56,234
Oh, Crystal,
it's really not that bad.
113
00:05:56,234 --> 00:05:59,133
Oh, yeah, we're just
whining and moaning
114
00:05:59,133 --> 00:06:02,200
to keep
from passing out.
115
00:06:02,200 --> 00:06:03,367
B-14.
116
00:06:03,367 --> 00:06:05,300
Roseanne,
if you're not
enjoying yourself,
117
00:06:05,300 --> 00:06:07,934
you're free to go
whenever you like.
118
00:06:07,934 --> 00:06:09,801
No, I can't.
You're my ride.
119
00:06:09,801 --> 00:06:11,300
You never complain
120
00:06:11,300 --> 00:06:13,868
when Bonnie
or Anne Marie
pick what we do,
121
00:06:13,868 --> 00:06:15,167
but when
it's my turn,
122
00:06:15,167 --> 00:06:17,067
you jump
all over me.
123
00:06:17,067 --> 00:06:18,734
I'm getting
a brownie.
124
00:06:18,734 --> 00:06:20,968
Whoa, what's with her?
125
00:06:20,968 --> 00:06:22,234
Apparently,
126
00:06:22,234 --> 00:06:25,200
your friends
don't like you
very much either.
127
00:06:37,067 --> 00:06:38,567
I'm telling you there's
something wrong.
128
00:06:38,567 --> 00:06:40,067
Well, change
his diaper again.
129
00:06:40,067 --> 00:06:41,567
I just changed it.
130
00:06:41,567 --> 00:06:43,067
Maybe you did it wrong.
131
00:06:43,067 --> 00:06:46,167
Maybe you gave
my little baby a wedgie.
132
00:06:46,167 --> 00:06:48,000
That's not it.
133
00:06:48,000 --> 00:06:51,067
Does his color
look right to you?
134
00:06:51,067 --> 00:06:52,501
I don't know.
135
00:06:52,501 --> 00:06:55,534
What color was he
when he got here?
136
00:06:56,634 --> 00:06:58,234
What are you doing?
137
00:06:58,234 --> 00:07:00,167
I'm trying
to calm him down.
138
00:07:00,167 --> 00:07:03,934
Well, does this
calm you down,
you moron?
139
00:07:03,934 --> 00:07:05,367
Well, gee,
I'm sorry, Becky.
140
00:07:05,367 --> 00:07:08,000
What would
you like me to do?
141
00:07:08,000 --> 00:07:10,968
I don't know.
I'm going to
call Crystal.
142
00:07:10,968 --> 00:07:13,100
Oh, grow up.
143
00:07:13,100 --> 00:07:14,934
What's going on?
144
00:07:14,934 --> 00:07:19,000
The baby won't stop crying,
and he cheesed my shirt.
145
00:07:19,000 --> 00:07:20,868
We tried everything.
146
00:07:20,868 --> 00:07:21,934
Just relax.
147
00:07:21,934 --> 00:07:24,601
I've changed him
a hundred times,
148
00:07:24,601 --> 00:07:27,434
and I feed him
every 15 minutes.
149
00:07:27,434 --> 00:07:30,701
Now you know
why you had to
change him so much.
150
00:07:30,701 --> 00:07:32,234
He might be warm.
151
00:07:32,234 --> 00:07:34,901
Should we take him
to the hospital?
152
00:07:34,901 --> 00:07:37,534
Let the old doctor
take a look here.
153
00:07:39,868 --> 00:07:42,033
[Sniffing]
154
00:07:42,033 --> 00:07:45,267
You cutting a tooth
there, little Ed?
155
00:07:45,267 --> 00:07:47,968
Yeah, he's teething,
that's all.
156
00:07:47,968 --> 00:07:50,868
D.J., see if there's
any frozen waffles
in the freezer.
157
00:07:50,868 --> 00:07:52,334
O.k.
158
00:07:52,334 --> 00:07:55,367
Crystal's list
didn't say anything
about frozen waffles.
159
00:07:55,367 --> 00:07:58,367
That's because
she doesn't know
the secret.
160
00:07:58,367 --> 00:07:59,868
There you go.
161
00:07:59,868 --> 00:08:02,367
Chew on this for
a while, little Ed.
162
00:08:02,367 --> 00:08:05,334
Yeah, it's going to
make those gums
feel better.
163
00:08:05,334 --> 00:08:06,567
Mmm...
164
00:08:06,567 --> 00:08:07,934
Ugh.
165
00:08:07,934 --> 00:08:09,934
He's slobbering.
166
00:08:09,934 --> 00:08:11,934
That's why I use
a waffle--
167
00:08:11,934 --> 00:08:14,767
It's got all those
built-in drool cups.
168
00:08:14,767 --> 00:08:16,834
You don't
need a bib.
169
00:08:16,834 --> 00:08:18,400
Oh, gross.
170
00:08:18,400 --> 00:08:19,901
I can't
watch this.
171
00:08:19,901 --> 00:08:22,200
You don't listen
to them, little Ed.
172
00:08:22,200 --> 00:08:24,400
You go ahead
and dribble.
173
00:08:24,400 --> 00:08:25,968
You're a Conner man.
174
00:08:30,834 --> 00:08:32,334
N-39.
175
00:08:32,334 --> 00:08:34,334
N-39.
176
00:08:34,334 --> 00:08:35,334
Got it.
177
00:08:35,334 --> 00:08:36,334
Got it.
178
00:08:36,334 --> 00:08:37,334
Got it.
179
00:08:37,334 --> 00:08:39,367
Ooh, got it.
180
00:08:39,367 --> 00:08:42,868
O-75.
181
00:08:42,868 --> 00:08:44,367
O-75.
182
00:08:44,367 --> 00:08:45,534
Yep.
183
00:08:45,534 --> 00:08:47,033
Now we're cookin'.
184
00:08:47,033 --> 00:08:48,434
Now we're movin'.
185
00:08:48,434 --> 00:08:49,801
Now we're--
186
00:08:49,801 --> 00:08:53,267
I don't suppose
we could do this
in silence.
187
00:08:57,868 --> 00:09:00,934
O great spirit
of bingo,
188
00:09:00,934 --> 00:09:03,868
I've given you
my first-born child.
189
00:09:03,868 --> 00:09:06,868
Now you must give me
my number!
190
00:09:06,868 --> 00:09:08,868
N-44.
191
00:09:08,868 --> 00:09:10,367
Ha ha ha ha.
192
00:09:10,367 --> 00:09:12,767
N-44.
193
00:09:12,767 --> 00:09:16,100
Roseanne,
pull back, baby.
194
00:09:16,100 --> 00:09:18,901
Oh, I'm just having
some fun with Endora here.
195
00:09:18,901 --> 00:09:21,200
Give me that.
Give me that!
196
00:09:21,200 --> 00:09:25,901
I cannot believe
the phone at your house
is still busy, Roseanne.
197
00:09:25,901 --> 00:09:28,234
Oh, Crystal, don't worry.
Everything's fine.
198
00:09:28,234 --> 00:09:31,434
Either the girls
are on the phone
with their friends,
199
00:09:31,434 --> 00:09:34,667
Or, you know,
they're holding for 911.
200
00:09:34,667 --> 00:09:36,701
I don't find that funny.
201
00:09:36,701 --> 00:09:38,501
Oh, lighten up, Crystal.
He's fine.
202
00:09:38,501 --> 00:09:39,901
He's 9 months old,
Roseanne.
203
00:09:39,901 --> 00:09:41,467
I worry about him.
204
00:09:41,467 --> 00:09:43,000
That's what
good mothers do.
205
00:09:43,000 --> 00:09:45,100
If you're such
a good mother,
206
00:09:45,100 --> 00:09:48,601
then why did
you leave him
with my kids?
207
00:09:48,601 --> 00:09:50,701
B-10.
208
00:09:50,701 --> 00:09:51,868
B-10.
209
00:09:51,868 --> 00:09:54,434
Roseanne, you been
marking my cards?
210
00:09:54,434 --> 00:09:56,267
Well, I thought,
you know,
211
00:09:56,267 --> 00:09:58,234
Anne Marie
was doing it.
212
00:09:58,234 --> 00:10:00,234
She asked you to do it.
213
00:10:00,234 --> 00:10:01,734
Did you
get anything?
214
00:10:01,734 --> 00:10:04,367
Well, yeah.
Look at the board.
215
00:10:04,367 --> 00:10:06,667
B-14.
216
00:10:06,667 --> 00:10:07,868
B-14.
217
00:10:07,868 --> 00:10:09,367
I only asked you--
218
00:10:09,367 --> 00:10:10,367
Bingo!
219
00:10:10,367 --> 00:10:12,534
I got bingo!
I got bingo!
220
00:10:12,534 --> 00:10:13,968
Yes! Yes!
Yes! Yes!
221
00:10:13,968 --> 00:10:16,033
All right,
everyone hold your cards
222
00:10:16,033 --> 00:10:17,767
until we
verify the bingo.
223
00:10:17,767 --> 00:10:18,801
Ha!
224
00:10:18,801 --> 00:10:20,367
Where are you going?
225
00:10:20,367 --> 00:10:21,868
I'm changing my seat.
226
00:10:21,868 --> 00:10:24,467
Wait. I think you're
good luck for me.
227
00:10:24,467 --> 00:10:25,901
I'm coming with you.
228
00:10:25,901 --> 00:10:28,901
Get away from me!
I can't stand you!
229
00:10:28,901 --> 00:10:30,501
We have a bingo!
230
00:10:30,501 --> 00:10:31,901
Here's your voucher.
231
00:10:31,901 --> 00:10:32,901
All right.
232
00:10:32,901 --> 00:10:35,467
You collect your money
on the way out.
233
00:10:35,467 --> 00:10:37,400
The cashier's
at the door.
234
00:10:37,400 --> 00:10:38,901
Great! 50 Bucks!
235
00:10:38,901 --> 00:10:40,400
Happy bingo dance.
236
00:10:43,667 --> 00:10:45,968
O.k., I'm beat.
I'm leaving.
237
00:10:45,968 --> 00:10:46,968
Me, too.
238
00:10:46,968 --> 00:10:48,033
No!
239
00:10:48,033 --> 00:10:50,467
Roseanne, I don't
want to play anymore.
240
00:10:50,467 --> 00:10:54,334
You don't have to.
Just sit here
and watch me win.
241
00:10:54,334 --> 00:10:55,901
Bye, Roseanne.
242
00:10:55,901 --> 00:10:59,300
Well, Crystal will
stay with me then.
Where is she?
243
00:10:59,300 --> 00:11:01,801
Maybe she went to
the bathroom again.
244
00:11:01,801 --> 00:11:03,934
Her purse and coat
are gone.
245
00:11:03,934 --> 00:11:05,634
I didn't see her leave.
246
00:11:05,634 --> 00:11:08,534
She's my ride.
Why would she leave me?
247
00:11:08,534 --> 00:11:11,634
Maybe that's
her little way
of ditching you.
248
00:11:11,634 --> 00:11:14,434
Oh, great.
Now I got to quit
249
00:11:14,434 --> 00:11:17,434
and find out
what the hell's
the matter with her.
250
00:11:17,434 --> 00:11:18,934
You take her.
251
00:11:18,934 --> 00:11:20,434
I don't want to.
252
00:11:20,434 --> 00:11:21,868
She's on your way.
253
00:11:21,868 --> 00:11:24,367
She won 50 bucks.
She can take a cab.
254
00:11:24,367 --> 00:11:26,968
One of you
is taking me home.
255
00:11:26,968 --> 00:11:31,200
I ain't taking you.
256
00:11:33,334 --> 00:11:34,634
[Knock on door]
257
00:11:36,834 --> 00:11:38,234
Hey, Crystal.
258
00:11:38,234 --> 00:11:39,701
Where's Roseanne?
259
00:11:39,701 --> 00:11:41,200
Still at bingo.
260
00:11:41,200 --> 00:11:42,634
Oh, hi, little Ed.
261
00:11:42,634 --> 00:11:44,200
Did you miss me, honey?
262
00:11:44,200 --> 00:11:45,701
Did you eat?
263
00:11:45,701 --> 00:11:47,801
Did you take
a little nap?
264
00:11:47,801 --> 00:11:50,200
Good to see he isn't
talking to you, either.
265
00:11:50,200 --> 00:11:52,267
I thought he was
snubbing me.
266
00:11:52,267 --> 00:11:54,834
Where's Becky and Darlene?
I'm supposed to pay them.
267
00:11:54,834 --> 00:11:57,200
Pay D.J.
He fed little Ed,
he played with him,
268
00:11:57,200 --> 00:11:59,834
He even gave him
his old bear.
269
00:11:59,834 --> 00:12:01,567
That's wonderful, D.J.
270
00:12:01,567 --> 00:12:04,467
Here's $5.00 for being
such a responsible
young man.
271
00:12:04,467 --> 00:12:05,601
All right!
272
00:12:05,601 --> 00:12:07,901
Yeah. Go show
your sisters.
273
00:12:11,300 --> 00:12:14,467
Make sure you rub
that in real good.
274
00:12:17,501 --> 00:12:19,434
How come you didn't
bring Roseanne home
with you?
275
00:12:19,434 --> 00:12:20,501
I left early.
276
00:12:20,501 --> 00:12:21,501
How's she going
to get home?
277
00:12:21,501 --> 00:12:22,934
I don't care.
278
00:12:22,934 --> 00:12:25,567
Don't tell me
you two had a fight.
279
00:12:25,567 --> 00:12:28,000
O.k., Dan, I won't.
You don't have
to know anything,
280
00:12:28,000 --> 00:12:30,434
so you don't have
to do anything about it.
281
00:12:30,434 --> 00:12:32,400
Just like your father.
282
00:12:32,400 --> 00:12:36,601
So was it tequila night
down at st. Benedict's?
283
00:12:38,901 --> 00:12:41,901
Hey! Why did you
leave me down there?
284
00:12:41,901 --> 00:12:44,467
You were
in your glory, Roseanne.
285
00:12:44,467 --> 00:12:45,968
I didn't want
to interrupt.
286
00:12:45,968 --> 00:12:48,400
Cut the crap, Crystal.
So what's your problem?
287
00:12:48,400 --> 00:12:49,467
Forget it.
288
00:12:49,467 --> 00:12:52,667
I was having
a great time
down there--
289
00:12:52,667 --> 00:12:54,167
Oh, how about that?
290
00:12:54,167 --> 00:12:55,767
I thought playing bingo
291
00:12:55,767 --> 00:12:58,167
was just another one
of Crystal's stupid ideas.
292
00:12:58,167 --> 00:13:01,300
After I won 50 bucks,
it got funner.
293
00:13:01,300 --> 00:13:03,801
50 Bucks?
Are you going to retire,
294
00:13:03,801 --> 00:13:08,033
or will you go
to your job tomorrow
like nothing happened?
295
00:13:08,033 --> 00:13:10,934
I was just teasing.
That's the way we are.
296
00:13:10,934 --> 00:13:13,367
It's the way you are,
always have been.
297
00:13:13,367 --> 00:13:14,868
Ever since high school,
298
00:13:14,868 --> 00:13:16,367
Everything I do
is stupid.
299
00:13:16,367 --> 00:13:17,868
Everything I say
is stupid.
300
00:13:17,868 --> 00:13:21,434
Even the way I raise
my kids is stupid.
301
00:13:21,434 --> 00:13:23,200
You're way
overexaggerating now.
302
00:13:23,200 --> 00:13:25,701
When you're
not telling me
how stupid I am,
303
00:13:25,701 --> 00:13:28,267
you're criticizing me
or making fun of me,
304
00:13:28,267 --> 00:13:30,234
and when you're not
doing that you're
just ignoring me.
305
00:13:30,234 --> 00:13:32,067
I do not ignore you.
306
00:13:32,067 --> 00:13:36,467
How long did it take
before you'd realized that
I left the bingo parlor?
307
00:13:36,467 --> 00:13:37,634
O.k.
308
00:13:37,634 --> 00:13:38,901
All right.
309
00:13:38,901 --> 00:13:40,334
I'm sorry, o.k.?
310
00:13:40,334 --> 00:13:41,601
Oh. Fine.
311
00:13:41,601 --> 00:13:42,701
"I'm sorry."
312
00:13:42,701 --> 00:13:45,334
That's supposed to
make up for 20 years.
313
00:13:47,434 --> 00:13:48,934
What was that?
314
00:13:48,934 --> 00:13:50,734
Crystal's mad.
315
00:13:50,734 --> 00:13:52,667
I've never seen her
like that, ever.
316
00:13:52,667 --> 00:13:55,167
She yelled at me,
and I was being
adorable.
317
00:13:55,167 --> 00:13:58,300
you really must have
done something
to tick her off.
318
00:13:58,300 --> 00:14:00,067
I swear I didn't
do anything.
319
00:14:00,067 --> 00:14:02,501
Come on, Roseanne,
what did you do?
320
00:14:02,501 --> 00:14:06,300
Dan I did not treat
her any different
than I always do.
321
00:14:06,300 --> 00:14:09,033
Well, you better
go apologize then.
322
00:14:09,033 --> 00:14:10,534
If she had some complaint
323
00:14:10,534 --> 00:14:13,567
against the way
I've been treating her
all these years,
324
00:14:13,567 --> 00:14:16,133
how come
she waits till now
to say something?
325
00:14:16,133 --> 00:14:18,501
I'm easy to talk to.
I listen.
326
00:14:21,467 --> 00:14:24,367
O.k., I'll call her
tomorrow and apologize.
327
00:14:24,367 --> 00:14:25,868
That a girl.
328
00:14:25,868 --> 00:14:27,367
How was bingo?
329
00:14:27,367 --> 00:14:28,868
Man,
it was incredible.
330
00:14:28,868 --> 00:14:30,367
It was such a rush.
331
00:14:30,367 --> 00:14:32,501
Yeah? Did you win?
332
00:14:32,501 --> 00:14:33,801
Uh, no.
333
00:14:39,634 --> 00:14:41,534
If Crystal's not
returning your calls,
334
00:14:41,534 --> 00:14:43,033
then you should see her.
335
00:14:43,033 --> 00:14:44,467
No. Why should I?
336
00:14:44,467 --> 00:14:45,634
Hey, Louise.
337
00:14:45,634 --> 00:14:47,267
Because you're upset.
338
00:14:47,267 --> 00:14:49,567
No, I'm not upset.
She's the one
that's upset.
339
00:14:49,567 --> 00:14:52,067
I've been
a very good friend
to Crystal
340
00:14:52,067 --> 00:14:53,634
ever since
the eighth grade.
341
00:14:53,634 --> 00:14:56,067
I've been
with her through
four husbands.
342
00:14:56,067 --> 00:14:57,067
Hey, Peg.
343
00:14:57,067 --> 00:14:58,234
Yo, Ro.
344
00:14:58,234 --> 00:14:59,868
And when she decided
345
00:14:59,868 --> 00:15:02,300
she was getting married
to Dan's dad,
346
00:15:02,300 --> 00:15:05,234
I put the entire wedding
together, did I not?
347
00:15:05,234 --> 00:15:07,100
Hey, Lloyd.
348
00:15:07,100 --> 00:15:09,667
How do you know
these people?
349
00:15:09,667 --> 00:15:12,167
I've been playing
the church circuit
here.
350
00:15:12,167 --> 00:15:13,701
This here's
the best game.
351
00:15:13,701 --> 00:15:15,100
It's got
the big pots,
352
00:15:15,100 --> 00:15:16,601
and the numbers
come fast.
353
00:15:16,601 --> 00:15:19,067
Stick close to me
'cause things
could get hairy.
354
00:15:19,067 --> 00:15:21,133
Hairy? This is the game
355
00:15:21,133 --> 00:15:24,567
where you put the bean
on the card, right?
356
00:15:24,567 --> 00:15:25,567
Hey!
357
00:15:25,567 --> 00:15:28,133
Arnie, what are you
doing here?
358
00:15:28,133 --> 00:15:30,734
I'm going to be
the caller.
359
00:15:30,734 --> 00:15:32,100
Ha! You're kidding me.
360
00:15:32,100 --> 00:15:33,534
No, no.
361
00:15:33,534 --> 00:15:35,467
There's lots of money
in bingo.
362
00:15:35,467 --> 00:15:38,033
The problem is all
the callers are boring.
363
00:15:38,033 --> 00:15:39,534
I'll make it fun.
364
00:15:39,534 --> 00:15:41,067
I'll become a celebrity.
365
00:15:41,067 --> 00:15:42,534
Then I'll become
Mr. Bingo.
366
00:15:42,534 --> 00:15:44,834
Then I'll open my own
indian reservation
367
00:15:44,834 --> 00:15:47,467
and make a hell
of a lot of money.
368
00:15:47,467 --> 00:15:50,033
What do you think
about that?
369
00:15:50,033 --> 00:15:52,734
Well, let's start with
you're not an indian.
370
00:15:52,734 --> 00:15:53,734
I'll convert.
371
00:15:53,734 --> 00:15:55,801
I just want
to thank you
372
00:15:55,801 --> 00:15:57,300
for volunteering
to do this.
373
00:15:57,300 --> 00:15:59,801
Anything I can do
for the community,
padre.
374
00:15:59,801 --> 00:16:01,300
I saw
the sign outside,
375
00:16:01,300 --> 00:16:02,868
And it only says
"bingo."
376
00:16:02,868 --> 00:16:05,634
How are people
going to know
I'm here?
377
00:16:05,634 --> 00:16:07,634
That man saw you naked.
378
00:16:07,634 --> 00:16:08,968
Shut up.
379
00:16:13,267 --> 00:16:15,767
You think you spent
enough money on bingo cards?
380
00:16:15,767 --> 00:16:17,767
I did not
come to lose.
381
00:16:17,767 --> 00:16:22,133
You are getting
very weird here, Roseanne.
382
00:16:22,133 --> 00:16:23,868
I am not.
383
00:16:23,868 --> 00:16:25,901
What's with
all the lighters?
384
00:16:25,901 --> 00:16:28,901
They're just sort of,
you know, for luck.
385
00:16:28,901 --> 00:16:30,567
Oh, you're kidding me.
386
00:16:30,567 --> 00:16:32,267
No, everybody does it.
387
00:16:32,267 --> 00:16:34,634
It's just for fun.
It doesn't mean nothing.
388
00:16:34,634 --> 00:16:37,067
It's not like
I need them or anything.
389
00:16:37,067 --> 00:16:39,501
You can take one
if you want.
390
00:16:39,501 --> 00:16:41,067
Not the yellow one!
391
00:16:41,067 --> 00:16:43,667
Good evening,
ladies and gentlemen.
392
00:16:43,667 --> 00:16:46,667
Welcome to bingo night
here at the fabulous
St. Benny's.
393
00:16:46,667 --> 00:16:49,167
I'm your host and caller
Arnie thomas,
reminding you
394
00:16:49,167 --> 00:16:52,167
that even though
you're in the presence
of the savior,
395
00:16:52,167 --> 00:16:54,701
don't save your money
because it goes
to charity.
396
00:16:54,701 --> 00:16:57,200
Just call the numbers.
397
00:16:58,634 --> 00:17:00,133
Coming right up.
398
00:17:00,133 --> 00:17:02,501
But before I call out
this number,
399
00:17:02,501 --> 00:17:05,133
are there any honeymooners
in the crowd tonight?
400
00:17:05,133 --> 00:17:08,701
Being here at bingo
reminds me of a funny story.
401
00:17:08,701 --> 00:17:09,701
Let's go!
402
00:17:09,701 --> 00:17:11,167
O.k., all right!
403
00:17:11,167 --> 00:17:12,167
Hey.
404
00:17:12,167 --> 00:17:13,434
I-27!
405
00:17:13,434 --> 00:17:14,734
I-27!
406
00:17:14,734 --> 00:17:17,334
Hell,
I only got that
on three cards.
407
00:17:17,334 --> 00:17:18,734
Wouldn't it be
really funny
408
00:17:18,734 --> 00:17:21,234
if we both yelled out
"bingo" right now?
409
00:17:21,234 --> 00:17:24,167
Oh, that would be
so beyond dumb, Jackie.
410
00:17:27,000 --> 00:17:29,868
Come on, Arnie.
Come on, Arnie.
411
00:17:29,868 --> 00:17:31,367
Come on, Arnie.
412
00:17:31,367 --> 00:17:32,400
B-6!
413
00:17:32,400 --> 00:17:34,067
B-6!
414
00:17:34,067 --> 00:17:36,400
6. Yeah. That's better,
that's better.
415
00:17:36,400 --> 00:17:38,901
You are scary.
416
00:17:38,901 --> 00:17:40,634
I'm trying
to concentrate.
417
00:17:40,634 --> 00:17:41,801
You're obsessed.
418
00:17:41,801 --> 00:17:43,734
Get out of here.
419
00:17:43,734 --> 00:17:44,767
O-70.
420
00:17:44,767 --> 00:17:46,534
O-70.
421
00:17:49,067 --> 00:17:51,067
Just kidding!
It's actually 1-17!
422
00:17:51,067 --> 00:17:52,200
Bingo humor!
423
00:17:52,200 --> 00:17:55,934
[Yelling]
[screaming]
424
00:17:55,934 --> 00:17:57,901
I'm working the room!
Excuse me!
425
00:17:57,901 --> 00:18:01,801
I have seen you
like this before.
426
00:18:01,801 --> 00:18:03,834
Roseanne,
you're addicted.
427
00:18:03,834 --> 00:18:05,334
Oh, please!
428
00:18:05,334 --> 00:18:07,000
No, I'm serious.
429
00:18:07,000 --> 00:18:09,868
You've spent the last
five nights at bingo.
430
00:18:09,868 --> 00:18:11,000
So?
431
00:18:11,000 --> 00:18:12,767
When you started
smoking again,
432
00:18:12,767 --> 00:18:15,701
You were doing
two packs a day
in a week.
433
00:18:15,701 --> 00:18:17,434
It's the same thing.
434
00:18:17,434 --> 00:18:21,200
Oh, get out of here.
It's just about
having fun.
435
00:18:21,200 --> 00:18:22,534
You're hooked!
Admit it!
436
00:18:22,534 --> 00:18:24,601
Bingo is fun!
437
00:18:24,601 --> 00:18:26,367
No, it's not!
438
00:18:26,367 --> 00:18:28,033
Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!
439
00:18:28,033 --> 00:18:29,534
Ow! Ow! Ow!
440
00:18:29,534 --> 00:18:31,033
[Cheering]
441
00:18:32,534 --> 00:18:35,334
O.k., that was fun.
442
00:18:41,834 --> 00:18:43,334
[Knock on door]
443
00:18:43,334 --> 00:18:44,334
Come in.
444
00:18:47,567 --> 00:18:49,067
Hey.
445
00:18:49,067 --> 00:18:50,801
Hello, Roseanne.
446
00:18:56,067 --> 00:18:58,000
Hello, little Ed.
447
00:18:58,000 --> 00:18:59,000
Hello.
448
00:18:59,000 --> 00:19:02,067
Look what you left over
at my house
449
00:19:02,067 --> 00:19:03,667
The other day.
450
00:19:03,667 --> 00:19:06,067
That's real nice
of you, Roseanne.
451
00:19:06,067 --> 00:19:08,067
Thanks for
dropping that by.
452
00:19:08,067 --> 00:19:09,400
Well...
453
00:19:11,501 --> 00:19:13,200
You know, I just--
454
00:19:13,200 --> 00:19:15,601
I didn't want it
to look like
455
00:19:15,601 --> 00:19:18,167
I just came over
to apologize,
you know.
456
00:19:18,167 --> 00:19:21,200
I mean, I--I
could've brought
your blender back,
457
00:19:21,200 --> 00:19:23,467
but it's broken.
458
00:19:23,467 --> 00:19:27,601
Yeah, well, I'm sorry
I didn't call you back
all this time.
459
00:19:27,601 --> 00:19:31,634
Yeah, well, let's not
do this anymore,
o.k., Crystal?
460
00:19:31,634 --> 00:19:34,033
We've been friends
for too long.
461
00:19:34,033 --> 00:19:35,968
Yes, we have.
462
00:19:35,968 --> 00:19:38,100
I was thinking
about what you said.
463
00:19:38,100 --> 00:19:41,100
And you're right.
I make fun of you
too much.
464
00:19:41,100 --> 00:19:43,133
I won't anymore.
I Promise.
465
00:19:43,133 --> 00:19:45,067
Ha! Of course you will.
466
00:19:45,067 --> 00:19:47,501
No. I'm not going to.
I Promise.
467
00:19:47,501 --> 00:19:48,801
Roseanne...
468
00:19:49,868 --> 00:19:51,934
I'm pregnant again.
469
00:19:54,567 --> 00:19:56,400
Is this a test?
470
00:20:00,267 --> 00:20:01,567
Oh, wow.
471
00:20:01,567 --> 00:20:03,133
Yeah.
472
00:20:03,133 --> 00:20:04,234
Oh, wow.
473
00:20:04,234 --> 00:20:07,067
That's why I got
so crazy on you.
474
00:20:07,067 --> 00:20:10,834
My hormones
sort of have a mouth
of their own.
475
00:20:10,834 --> 00:20:14,033
Well, why didn't
you tell me?
476
00:20:14,033 --> 00:20:16,667
'Cause you were being
a big, stupid jerk.
477
00:20:16,667 --> 00:20:20,267
I guess that's
your hormones
talking again, huh?
478
00:20:20,267 --> 00:20:23,734
I can't believe it.
We were using
birth control.
479
00:20:23,734 --> 00:20:27,601
And--and
I wasn't getting
my time of the month
480
00:20:27,601 --> 00:20:28,834
since I've been nursing,
481
00:20:28,834 --> 00:20:32,033
and all of a sudden,
I started
getting symptoms,
482
00:20:32,033 --> 00:20:33,033
And...
483
00:20:33,033 --> 00:20:36,300
Why did this
happen to me, Roseanne?
484
00:20:36,300 --> 00:20:37,300
Oh, Crystal.
485
00:20:37,300 --> 00:20:40,100
I got a 9-month-old baby
486
00:20:40,100 --> 00:20:42,467
and a husband
who's never home
487
00:20:42,467 --> 00:20:47,033
and a teenage son
who's real hard to love
a lot of the time.
488
00:20:47,033 --> 00:20:49,033
And look at this place.
489
00:20:49,033 --> 00:20:52,567
How am I going to deal
with another baby?
490
00:20:52,567 --> 00:20:53,834
Well...
491
00:20:53,834 --> 00:20:57,067
Maybe this one
will be the girl
you always wanted.
492
00:20:57,067 --> 00:20:58,200
Maybe.
493
00:20:58,200 --> 00:21:02,467
I wish Ed was around
to help a little more.
494
00:21:02,467 --> 00:21:05,701
Well, I think
Ed's done enough.
495
00:21:05,701 --> 00:21:09,701
You know, me and Dan
are here for you, Crystal,
496
00:21:09,701 --> 00:21:12,267
and so is Becky
and Darlene,
497
00:21:12,267 --> 00:21:15,067
even though they
don't kind of know it yet.
498
00:21:15,067 --> 00:21:18,267
I mean, even D.J.
Can help out, you know.
499
00:21:18,267 --> 00:21:20,634
Everything will be
fine, Crystal.
500
00:21:20,634 --> 00:21:22,000
You'll see.
501
00:21:23,067 --> 00:21:24,868
Thank you, Roseanne.
502
00:21:26,701 --> 00:21:28,701
Ohh...
503
00:21:28,701 --> 00:21:30,534
Want some decaf?
504
00:21:30,534 --> 00:21:32,767
Yeah.
That would be great.
505
00:21:33,834 --> 00:21:36,033
Oh, little Ed,
you sit up.
506
00:21:36,033 --> 00:21:39,033
I did try to call you
back last night.
507
00:21:39,033 --> 00:21:41,834
Oh, yeah. I was out
playing bingo.
508
00:21:41,834 --> 00:21:42,834
Again?
509
00:21:42,834 --> 00:21:43,934
Yeah.
510
00:21:43,934 --> 00:21:46,367
I've been playing
most every night,
511
00:21:46,367 --> 00:21:47,467
you know,
512
00:21:47,467 --> 00:21:50,167
But this saturday,
that's the big game.
513
00:21:50,167 --> 00:21:53,033
And then that's it.
I'm quitting on sunday.
514
00:21:53,033 --> 00:21:54,767
Monday, for sure.
515
00:22:00,968 --> 00:22:04,868
* Down came the rain
and washed the spider out *
516
00:22:04,868 --> 00:22:06,367
* Up come the sun-- **
517
00:22:06,367 --> 00:22:07,367
Hey.
518
00:22:07,367 --> 00:22:08,400
Yo.
519
00:22:08,400 --> 00:22:09,400
Where's Roseanne?
520
00:22:09,400 --> 00:22:10,434
One guess.
521
00:22:10,434 --> 00:22:12,868
Oh, god.
You're kidding!
522
00:22:12,868 --> 00:22:15,434
We were supposed to
go to a movie.
523
00:22:15,434 --> 00:22:17,934
It was weird.
We were watching
television,
524
00:22:17,934 --> 00:22:20,434
And this commercial
for this cereal came on.
525
00:22:20,434 --> 00:22:23,934
The guy talked about
all the vitamins
it had--
526
00:22:23,934 --> 00:22:26,434
B-1, b-6, b-12...
527
00:22:26,434 --> 00:22:29,434
I turned around,
and she was gone.
528
00:22:31,100 --> 00:22:33,100
Dan, we have a problem.
529
00:22:33,100 --> 00:22:37,968
People who get addicted
to this type of stuff,
530
00:22:37,968 --> 00:22:39,467
They change.
531
00:22:39,467 --> 00:22:43,234
They become completely
different people.
532
00:22:45,801 --> 00:22:49,100
I-18.
533
00:22:49,100 --> 00:22:51,400
I-18.
534
00:22:58,067 --> 00:22:59,400
N-38.
535
00:22:59,400 --> 00:23:00,501
N-38.
536
00:23:00,501 --> 00:23:01,901
That's all I need.
537
00:23:01,901 --> 00:23:03,400
One more number.
538
00:23:03,400 --> 00:23:04,400
N-38.
539
00:23:04,400 --> 00:23:06,434
N...
540
00:23:06,434 --> 00:23:08,434
30...
541
00:23:08,434 --> 00:23:09,434
1!
542
00:23:09,434 --> 00:23:10,434
Ohh!
543
00:23:10,434 --> 00:23:12,434
Grab her.
Hold her.
Hug her.
544
00:23:12,434 --> 00:23:14,501
Tell her
that you love her.
545
00:23:14,501 --> 00:23:16,501
It's for your
own good, Roseanne.
546
00:23:16,501 --> 00:23:17,934
[Dan]
it's o.k., folks.
547
00:23:17,934 --> 00:23:19,701
I only need
one more number!
36376
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