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1
00:00:03,068 --> 00:00:04,068
Hey, hey.
2
00:00:04,102 --> 00:00:05,736
I'm not here for your entertainment.
3
00:00:05,770 --> 00:00:06,670
I'm a foot.
4
00:00:06,705 --> 00:00:08,705
Leave me alone.
5
00:00:08,740 --> 00:00:10,407
Oh, foot.
6
00:00:10,441 --> 00:00:12,442
[Knock on door]
7
00:00:12,476 --> 00:00:13,710
Hey, Carly.
8
00:00:13,744 --> 00:00:14,410
Oh, hey.
9
00:00:14,444 --> 00:00:15,144
Is Sam here?
10
00:00:15,178 --> 00:00:19,382
No, why?
11
00:00:19,416 --> 00:00:21,129
'Cause I pulled a prank on her.
12
00:00:21,163 --> 00:00:22,362
You pulled a prank on Sam?
13
00:00:22,396 --> 00:00:22,963
Uh-huh.
14
00:00:22,997 --> 00:00:25,150
What, are you tired of living?
15
00:00:25,184 --> 00:00:26,736
Why would you mess with Sam?
16
00:00:26,771 --> 00:00:28,716
Because she put a dead
fish in my locker.
17
00:00:28,750 --> 00:00:29,737
Smell this.
18
00:00:29,772 --> 00:00:30,691
No. Gross.
19
00:00:30,725 --> 00:00:33,677
I don't wanna smell
your fishy backpack.
20
00:00:33,712 --> 00:00:35,645
What prank did you play on Sam?
21
00:00:35,646 --> 00:00:36,696
Open the door.
22
00:00:36,730 --> 00:00:38,146
Call the police.
23
00:00:38,181 --> 00:00:39,409
Open this door.
24
00:00:39,444 --> 00:00:40,277
Leave me alone, Sam.
25
00:00:40,311 --> 00:00:42,815
We're even.
26
00:00:42,849 --> 00:00:45,069
Come here, Benson.
27
00:00:45,104 --> 00:00:46,520
You handcuffed her to Gibby?
28
00:00:46,555 --> 00:00:48,228
She put a dead fish in my locker.
29
00:00:48,263 --> 00:00:51,114
Gibby's way worse than a dead fish.
30
00:00:51,148 --> 00:00:55,585
My mom thinks I'm awesome.
31
00:00:55,619 --> 00:00:56,452
Just give me the key.
32
00:00:56,493 --> 00:00:57,226
Give her the key.
33
00:00:57,261 --> 00:00:59,979
Only if she promises-- [Screams]
34
00:01:00,013 --> 00:01:01,560
No, Sam. Don't, don't.
35
00:01:01,595 --> 00:01:02,194
Go away. Go away.
36
00:01:02,229 --> 00:01:03,707
No, no, no.
37
00:01:03,742 --> 00:01:08,033
Carly, call the police.
38
00:01:08,067 --> 00:01:10,683
Freddie-- somebody help me.
39
00:01:10,717 --> 00:01:12,223
Oh, my arm.
40
00:01:12,257 --> 00:01:13,161
Where's the key?
41
00:01:13,196 --> 00:01:15,205
In my front pants pocket, left side.
42
00:01:18,118 --> 00:01:20,062
Eww, no.
43
00:01:20,097 --> 00:01:21,904
Just let me up and
I'll give you the key.
44
00:01:21,939 --> 00:01:25,520
Please.
45
00:01:25,554 --> 00:01:32,586
Now, unlock me.
46
00:01:32,620 --> 00:01:37,944
Like Gibby's therapist didn't
have enough to deal with.
47
00:01:37,978 --> 00:01:40,084
Come on, you put a dead
fish in my locker.
48
00:01:40,119 --> 00:01:40,988
I handcuffed you to Gibby.
49
00:01:41,023 --> 00:01:41,692
We're even.
50
00:01:41,727 --> 00:01:44,434
Yay. Who wants lemonade?
51
00:01:44,468 --> 00:01:48,415
I don't play to get even.
52
00:01:48,450 --> 00:01:54,303
Mama plays to win.
53
00:01:54,337 --> 00:01:57,413
I'm gonna get you.
54
00:01:57,448 --> 00:02:05,139
Maybe not today, maybe not
tomorrow, but I'm gonna get you.
55
00:02:05,173 --> 00:02:07,849
I'm not scared.
56
00:02:07,883 --> 00:02:10,338
Really?
57
00:02:15,372 --> 00:02:16,441
Are you gonna throw up in it?
58
00:02:16,475 --> 00:02:19,483
Uh-huh.
59
00:02:19,518 --> 00:02:23,429
In five, four, three, two.
60
00:02:23,430 --> 00:02:25,937
[Music]
61
00:02:25,972 --> 00:02:28,110
I know you see
62
00:02:28,145 --> 00:02:29,047
somehow the world
63
00:02:29,081 --> 00:02:30,351
will change for me
64
00:02:30,385 --> 00:02:34,933
and be so wonderful
65
00:02:34,967 --> 00:02:37,305
live life, breathe air
66
00:02:37,339 --> 00:02:38,307
I know somehow
67
00:02:38,342 --> 00:02:39,711
we're gonna get there
68
00:02:39,745 --> 00:02:44,523
and feel so wonderful
69
00:02:44,558 --> 00:02:48,201
it's all for real
70
00:02:48,236 --> 00:02:48,971
I'm telling you
71
00:02:49,005 --> 00:02:50,240
just how I feel
72
00:02:50,275 --> 00:02:52,379
so, wake up the members
73
00:02:52,413 --> 00:02:54,317
of my nation
74
00:02:54,352 --> 00:02:56,022
it's your time to be
75
00:02:56,057 --> 00:02:56,858
there's no chance
76
00:02:56,893 --> 00:02:58,863
unless you take one
77
00:02:58,898 --> 00:03:00,500
every time you see
78
00:03:00,534 --> 00:03:01,703
the brighter side
79
00:03:01,737 --> 00:03:04,743
of every situation
80
00:03:04,778 --> 00:03:06,382
something's are meant to be
81
00:03:06,416 --> 00:03:07,584
so give me your best
82
00:03:07,619 --> 00:03:10,224
and leave the rest to me
83
00:03:29,439 --> 00:03:30,841
Spencer hikes the ball.
84
00:03:30,875 --> 00:03:34,182
He looks, he sees-- Spencer
Shay is handsome and open,
85
00:03:34,216 --> 00:03:37,189
pressure, laterals, touchdown!
86
00:03:37,223 --> 00:03:37,723
We're back.
87
00:03:37,757 --> 00:03:38,458
S'up, Spence.
88
00:03:38,492 --> 00:03:41,164
[Screams]
89
00:03:41,199 --> 00:03:41,900
Hey.
90
00:03:41,934 --> 00:03:43,136
Where have you guys been?
91
00:03:43,170 --> 00:03:44,171
A movie.
92
00:03:44,206 --> 00:03:46,442
We saw "the first kiss."
93
00:03:46,477 --> 00:03:47,210
Eww. How was it?
94
00:03:47,245 --> 00:03:50,217
Same as every other stupid
teen chick movie ever made.
95
00:03:50,251 --> 00:03:53,390
It made me embarrassed
to be a teen chick.
96
00:03:53,424 --> 00:03:55,027
So what up with that thing?
97
00:03:55,062 --> 00:03:56,965
He wants to be a professional
football player.
98
00:03:56,999 --> 00:03:57,967
Hey, come on.
99
00:03:58,001 --> 00:03:58,936
It could happen.
100
00:03:58,970 --> 00:04:00,906
Sure, if all the other
professional football players
101
00:04:00,941 --> 00:04:03,011
are eaten by lions.
102
00:04:03,045 --> 00:04:04,813
Uh, wrong.
103
00:04:04,848 --> 00:04:06,551
The Seattle cobras are
holding open tryouts
104
00:04:06,585 --> 00:04:09,889
for the first time ever
and I'm going for it.
105
00:04:09,923 --> 00:04:11,993
It's his dream that will never be.
106
00:04:12,028 --> 00:04:13,461
Oh, yeah?
107
00:04:13,495 --> 00:04:15,296
Hold this.
108
00:04:15,330 --> 00:04:16,763
What are you doing?
109
00:04:16,798 --> 00:04:18,163
Sam, you throw pretty hard, right?
110
00:04:18,198 --> 00:04:19,164
Yeah, I can throw.
111
00:04:19,198 --> 00:04:19,898
Good.
112
00:04:19,932 --> 00:04:22,666
I want you to throw me that
ball as hard as you can
113
00:04:22,700 --> 00:04:25,368
then I'm gonna run it all the
way back through that door
114
00:04:25,402 --> 00:04:27,703
and see if you guys can stop me.
115
00:04:27,737 --> 00:04:28,904
What's this gonna prove?
116
00:04:28,937 --> 00:04:30,871
We're ninth grade girls.
117
00:04:30,905 --> 00:04:37,608
Just throw the ball.
118
00:04:37,642 --> 00:04:38,508
Ahhh.
119
00:04:38,542 --> 00:04:39,141
Sorry.
120
00:04:39,176 --> 00:04:44,411
Are you okay?
121
00:04:44,446 --> 00:04:46,413
I'm fine.
122
00:04:46,447 --> 00:04:49,183
Just next time, if you can throw
the ball a little higher,
123
00:04:49,218 --> 00:04:54,555
that'll be great.
124
00:04:54,589 --> 00:04:56,356
Hey.
125
00:04:56,390 --> 00:04:58,091
What's the baseball bat for?
126
00:04:58,125 --> 00:05:02,328
Nothin'-- as long as Sam
keeps her distance.
127
00:05:02,362 --> 00:05:02,862
Relax.
128
00:05:02,896 --> 00:05:04,563
I'm too tired to get you back tonight.
129
00:05:04,597 --> 00:05:06,664
Good.
130
00:05:06,699 --> 00:05:09,267
So, how was "the first kiss"?
131
00:05:09,301 --> 00:05:10,334
Worst movie ever.
132
00:05:10,369 --> 00:05:11,636
I told you guys that movie
was gonna be awful.
133
00:05:11,670 --> 00:05:15,172
I mean, even the title,
"the first kiss."
134
00:05:15,207 --> 00:05:16,140
I know.
135
00:05:16,174 --> 00:05:18,109
So, who was yours?
136
00:05:18,143 --> 00:05:19,109
Who was my what?
137
00:05:19,144 --> 00:05:20,044
Your first kiss.
138
00:05:20,078 --> 00:05:21,178
Sam.
139
00:05:21,212 --> 00:05:24,013
Come on, we're all friends here.
140
00:05:24,048 --> 00:05:27,216
Well, two friends and a co-worker.
141
00:05:27,250 --> 00:05:30,319
Who was your first kiss?
142
00:05:30,353 --> 00:05:31,319
Okay.
143
00:05:31,354 --> 00:05:33,788
It was Ben Hoobsher.
144
00:05:33,822 --> 00:05:36,957
Nobody's last name is Hoobsher.
145
00:05:36,991 --> 00:05:39,059
Yes, it is.
146
00:05:39,093 --> 00:05:41,127
He kissed me under a kumquat
tree and his lips tasted
147
00:05:41,161 --> 00:05:44,430
like potato salad.
148
00:05:44,464 --> 00:05:45,397
Was it good?
149
00:05:45,431 --> 00:05:47,566
Hmm, just an average little kiss.
150
00:05:47,600 --> 00:05:49,735
No, the potato salad.
151
00:05:49,769 --> 00:05:50,936
Oh, yeah. Really good.
152
00:05:50,970 --> 00:05:52,371
Nice.
153
00:05:52,372 --> 00:05:56,073
My first kiss was with Buddy
Hinten at a Cuddlefist concert
154
00:05:56,107 --> 00:05:58,408
in a porta-potty.
155
00:05:58,442 --> 00:06:02,078
Hmm, so romantic.
156
00:06:02,112 --> 00:06:03,413
Whatever.
157
00:06:03,447 --> 00:06:06,949
All I know is, now, I can't stop
thinking about potato salad.
158
00:06:06,984 --> 00:06:08,751
Does that little market across
the street stay open late?
159
00:06:08,785 --> 00:06:09,685
Yeah, 'till 10.
160
00:06:09,720 --> 00:06:11,387
Does that skeevy guy still
hang around out front?
161
00:06:11,421 --> 00:06:13,121
Yeah.
162
00:06:13,156 --> 00:06:18,326
I'll be back.
163
00:06:18,360 --> 00:06:21,695
So, who was your first kiss?
164
00:06:21,729 --> 00:06:23,729
You don't need to know.
165
00:06:23,763 --> 00:06:30,965
I absolutely need to know.
166
00:06:31,000 --> 00:06:35,035
Ah, I need money from other people.
167
00:06:35,069 --> 00:06:35,435
Okay.
168
00:06:35,470 --> 00:06:37,137
Then, just tell me her first name.
169
00:06:37,171 --> 00:06:40,573
Oh, is that a new ceiling?
170
00:06:40,608 --> 00:06:43,142
Who was your first kiss?
171
00:06:43,176 --> 00:06:44,844
I haven't had my first kiss.
172
00:06:44,878 --> 00:06:47,111
Oh, shut up.
173
00:06:47,145 --> 00:06:50,447
I've never kissed anyone.
174
00:06:50,481 --> 00:06:55,117
But what about that rotten girl
you dated last year, Valerie?
175
00:06:55,151 --> 00:06:56,118
You kissed her, right?
176
00:06:56,152 --> 00:06:57,152
No.
177
00:06:57,186 --> 00:06:59,954
Well, for like half a second at
school with a bunch of other kids
178
00:06:59,988 --> 00:07:00,755
hanging around.
179
00:07:00,789 --> 00:07:05,258
But, no, I've never had a real kiss.
180
00:07:05,259 --> 00:07:06,859
Oh.
181
00:07:10,596 --> 00:07:13,330
Well, I think it's kind of
sweet that you haven't kissed
182
00:07:13,365 --> 00:07:14,564
anyone yet.
183
00:07:14,599 --> 00:07:15,565
It's not sweet.
184
00:07:15,599 --> 00:07:16,765
It's lame.
185
00:07:16,800 --> 00:07:23,037
You've got to swear you won't
tell anyone-- especially Sam.
186
00:07:23,071 --> 00:07:24,671
[Music]
187
00:07:30,411 --> 00:07:30,910
Catch it.
188
00:07:30,944 --> 00:07:31,744
Catch it.
189
00:07:31,778 --> 00:07:32,411
Catch it.
190
00:07:32,446 --> 00:07:33,813
Yes. Now, run.
191
00:07:33,847 --> 00:07:34,847
Go. Run, run, run.
192
00:07:34,881 --> 00:07:35,547
Good. You got it.
193
00:07:35,582 --> 00:07:39,050
You got--oh, you fell down.
194
00:07:39,085 --> 00:07:41,486
Aren't you supposed to be
training for the cobra's tryouts?
195
00:07:41,487 --> 00:07:42,087
I am training.
196
00:07:42,121 --> 00:07:44,822
I'm watching football,
learning about football,
197
00:07:44,857 --> 00:07:47,592
snuggling a football.
198
00:07:47,626 --> 00:07:49,593
I knew you weren't gonna
take this seriously.
199
00:07:49,627 --> 00:07:51,194
I am, too, taking it seriously.
200
00:07:51,228 --> 00:07:54,830
I just can't get-- off your lazy butt?
201
00:07:54,864 --> 00:07:55,997
All right.
202
00:07:56,032 --> 00:07:56,898
There.
203
00:07:56,932 --> 00:08:00,935
Look, my butt's up and moving.
204
00:08:00,969 --> 00:08:03,137
Great, 'cause I'm
sure all professional
205
00:08:03,171 --> 00:08:04,037
football players do that.
206
00:08:04,072 --> 00:08:05,038
They would if they could.
207
00:08:05,073 --> 00:08:06,307
Oh, cramp.
208
00:08:06,341 --> 00:08:07,342
Oh, cramp.
209
00:08:07,376 --> 00:08:08,710
Oh, cramp.
210
00:08:08,744 --> 00:08:09,611
Cramp.
211
00:08:09,645 --> 00:08:11,245
Oh. Ow.
212
00:08:15,384 --> 00:08:15,616
Okay.
213
00:08:15,651 --> 00:08:18,886
Now that you're done doing
the butt-cramp dance,
214
00:08:18,920 --> 00:08:20,888
you need to exercise.
215
00:08:20,922 --> 00:08:23,189
Well, it's hard to exercise
when you don't have
216
00:08:23,224 --> 00:08:25,691
someone there to motivate you.
217
00:08:25,726 --> 00:08:27,493
Do you really wanna
be a Seattle cobra?
218
00:08:27,527 --> 00:08:28,794
Yes, with all my heart.
219
00:08:28,828 --> 00:08:29,828
Okay.
220
00:08:29,863 --> 00:08:31,196
Then I'm gonna motivate you.
221
00:08:31,230 --> 00:08:31,830
Huh.
222
00:08:31,864 --> 00:08:34,664
You're gonna start by
building up some muscle.
223
00:08:34,699 --> 00:08:35,832
I have muscles.
224
00:08:35,867 --> 00:08:37,100
Do you?
225
00:08:37,134 --> 00:08:38,067
Yes.
226
00:08:38,102 --> 00:08:40,536
Then, take off your shirt
and jump up and down.
227
00:08:40,570 --> 00:08:41,237
I don't want to.
228
00:08:41,271 --> 00:08:42,838
Why not?
229
00:08:42,872 --> 00:08:45,874
'Cause I'll jiggle.
230
00:08:45,908 --> 00:08:47,542
Then you need to build some muscle.
231
00:08:47,576 --> 00:08:48,409
How?
232
00:08:48,443 --> 00:08:50,844
Oh, I'll show you how.
233
00:08:50,878 --> 00:08:53,012
Aaaah!
234
00:08:53,047 --> 00:08:53,580
Come on.
235
00:08:53,614 --> 00:08:54,280
Aaaah!
236
00:08:54,315 --> 00:08:54,781
I'm going.
237
00:08:54,815 --> 00:08:55,615
Is that all you got?
238
00:08:55,649 --> 00:08:56,149
Aaaah!
239
00:08:56,183 --> 00:08:57,016
Be a man.
240
00:08:57,050 --> 00:08:57,517
Aaaah!
241
00:08:57,551 --> 00:08:58,484
You can do better than that.
242
00:08:58,518 --> 00:08:59,318
Aaaah!
243
00:08:59,352 --> 00:09:00,085
Stop jiggling.
244
00:09:00,119 --> 00:09:01,186
Aaaah!
245
00:09:01,221 --> 00:09:01,787
Come on.
246
00:09:01,821 --> 00:09:02,388
It burns.
247
00:09:02,422 --> 00:09:04,189
Hurry up.
248
00:09:04,224 --> 00:09:04,757
A hundred and ten percent.
249
00:09:04,791 --> 00:09:08,458
Oh, God.
250
00:09:08,492 --> 00:09:11,259
Oh, man, how long have I been running?
251
00:09:11,294 --> 00:09:14,793
A minute and 45 seconds.
252
00:09:14,827 --> 00:09:16,061
Keep going.
253
00:09:16,095 --> 00:09:18,929
It's so boring, just
going around in circles.
254
00:09:18,963 --> 00:09:20,864
Okay, then take me upstairs.
255
00:09:20,898 --> 00:09:21,631
What?
256
00:09:21,666 --> 00:09:23,800
You heard me. Upstairs!
257
00:09:23,834 --> 00:09:25,735
Okay.
258
00:09:25,769 --> 00:09:29,505
Ahhh! Ahhh!
259
00:09:29,539 --> 00:09:30,439
Quit complaining.
260
00:09:30,473 --> 00:09:32,140
Ahhh!
261
00:09:32,174 --> 00:09:32,807
Come on.
262
00:09:32,842 --> 00:09:34,008
Oh, this is impossible.
263
00:09:34,043 --> 00:09:34,943
Move it.
264
00:09:34,977 --> 00:09:36,511
Ahhh, what have you been eating?
265
00:09:36,545 --> 00:09:37,579
You can do it.
266
00:09:37,613 --> 00:09:39,147
Oh, my groin.
267
00:09:39,181 --> 00:09:43,199
[Screams]
268
00:09:43,200 --> 00:09:45,768
Okay. Next on iCarly--
please enjoy this preview
269
00:09:45,803 --> 00:09:55,374
of a new movie called-- Kelly Cooper.
270
00:09:55,409 --> 00:09:58,811
She just wanted to fit in
with the popular crowd.
271
00:09:58,846 --> 00:10:01,047
You wanna fit in with
the popular crowd?
272
00:10:01,081 --> 00:10:01,981
I do.
273
00:10:02,015 --> 00:10:03,315
Well, too bad.
274
00:10:03,349 --> 00:10:07,351
No!
275
00:10:07,386 --> 00:10:10,087
But Kelly had other ideas.
276
00:10:10,121 --> 00:10:18,394
She tried on a bunch of different
clothes and danced all around.
277
00:10:18,428 --> 00:10:20,028
[Music]
278
00:10:25,035 --> 00:10:26,970
Fell down a few times.
279
00:10:27,005 --> 00:10:28,839
[Screams]
280
00:10:28,873 --> 00:10:34,712
And somewhere along the way,
she met the guy of her dreams.
281
00:10:34,746 --> 00:10:36,546
I can't be your boyfriend.
282
00:10:36,581 --> 00:10:46,655
You can be whatever
you wanna be, Chad.
283
00:10:46,689 --> 00:10:49,424
[Screams]
284
00:10:49,458 --> 00:10:53,995
And now, Kelly's turning the
whole town upside down.
285
00:10:54,029 --> 00:10:58,029
Come on, everyone,
jump around with me.
286
00:11:06,073 --> 00:11:07,473
I can't believe this.
287
00:11:07,507 --> 00:11:09,641
I never lose.
288
00:11:09,676 --> 00:11:11,977
Guess you got your comeuppance.
289
00:11:12,011 --> 00:11:13,144
Sorry, Natalie.
290
00:11:13,179 --> 00:11:20,384
Or should I say, Nata-loser.
291
00:11:20,418 --> 00:11:24,054
A comedy that no one wants to see.
292
00:11:24,089 --> 00:11:27,290
"Kelly Cooper: Terrible movie."
293
00:11:27,325 --> 00:11:30,159
[Screams]
294
00:11:30,193 --> 00:11:32,027
[Applause]
295
00:11:32,062 --> 00:11:33,128
Oh, oh, please.
296
00:11:33,162 --> 00:11:34,196
Yeah, thank you so much.
297
00:11:34,230 --> 00:11:34,696
Thanks, really.
298
00:11:34,730 --> 00:11:37,632
It's definitely too much of us,
really-- okay, that wraps up
299
00:11:37,666 --> 00:11:38,833
iCarly for tonight, so.
300
00:11:38,867 --> 00:11:40,201
Ah, wait.
301
00:11:40,235 --> 00:11:41,802
Just one more little thing.
302
00:11:41,836 --> 00:11:42,569
What?
303
00:11:42,604 --> 00:11:45,105
You guys all know our
technical producer, Freddie.
304
00:11:45,140 --> 00:11:48,242
Show yourself to the people, Freddie.
305
00:11:48,276 --> 00:11:51,745
Hello.
306
00:11:51,779 --> 00:11:55,315
That was Freddie who last
week handcuffed me to a nerd.
307
00:11:55,349 --> 00:11:58,617
So now guess what?
308
00:11:58,652 --> 00:12:00,319
Freddie has never kissed a girl.
309
00:12:00,353 --> 00:12:02,354
Never. Not once.
310
00:12:02,388 --> 00:12:08,756
I heard him say so myself
and Carly is a witness.
311
00:12:08,790 --> 00:12:13,925
Okay. Later.
312
00:12:13,960 --> 00:12:16,393
Sam! Sam!
313
00:12:16,428 --> 00:12:18,608
You just ruined Freddie's life.
314
00:12:29,298 --> 00:12:30,331
I don't wanna be here.
315
00:12:30,365 --> 00:12:31,531
Come on.
316
00:12:31,565 --> 00:12:32,799
Come on.
317
00:12:32,833 --> 00:12:42,540
I don't wanna--I don't--I--
I don't wanna be here.
318
00:12:42,574 --> 00:12:44,174
You can't ditch school.
319
00:12:44,209 --> 00:12:45,442
Everyone's gonna make fun of me.
320
00:12:45,476 --> 00:12:47,811
You're being way too
dramatic about this.
321
00:12:47,845 --> 00:12:58,156
Now, come on, take off
that insane disguise.
322
00:12:58,190 --> 00:12:59,790
See, no one's laughing.
323
00:12:59,825 --> 00:13:04,330
I told you, you're being way too
dramatic-- hey, it's Benson.
324
00:13:04,364 --> 00:13:09,468
[Makes kissing noise]
325
00:13:09,503 --> 00:13:12,204
Give me my afro.
326
00:13:12,238 --> 00:13:13,372
No.
327
00:13:13,406 --> 00:13:15,640
Just 'cause a few rude guys
made kissy noises at you
328
00:13:15,674 --> 00:13:16,974
is no reason-- Freddie.
329
00:13:17,008 --> 00:13:20,643
Freddie, I don't mean to be rude
but I hear you've never kissed
330
00:13:20,677 --> 00:13:23,842
a girl.
331
00:13:23,877 --> 00:13:27,512
Well, thanks for stopping by.
332
00:13:27,546 --> 00:13:31,949
The important thing is
to be proud of yourself.
333
00:13:31,983 --> 00:13:36,254
You need to face the world
with shoulders cocked and say,
334
00:13:36,288 --> 00:13:40,925
"I am Freddie Benson, and I
have never kissed a girl."
335
00:13:40,960 --> 00:13:42,927
[Laughter]
336
00:13:42,961 --> 00:13:46,396
Hey there. Stop that.
337
00:13:46,431 --> 00:13:47,164
Stop laughing.
338
00:13:47,198 --> 00:13:52,168
At this unfortunate misfit.
339
00:13:52,203 --> 00:13:53,003
Okay.
340
00:13:53,037 --> 00:14:05,812
So far, things aren't going that
well, but-- can I go home now?
341
00:14:05,846 --> 00:14:10,816
I would.
342
00:14:10,851 --> 00:14:12,451
[Music]
343
00:14:17,457 --> 00:14:22,093
[Knocking]
344
00:14:22,127 --> 00:14:23,394
Hey.
345
00:14:23,428 --> 00:14:24,295
Hello, Gibby.
346
00:14:24,329 --> 00:14:25,830
Carly's not home from school yet.
347
00:14:25,864 --> 00:14:26,497
I know.
348
00:14:26,531 --> 00:14:27,565
She sent me here.
349
00:14:27,599 --> 00:14:28,866
Carly sent you here?
350
00:14:28,901 --> 00:14:30,201
Yeah.
351
00:14:30,235 --> 00:14:32,102
She was supposed to help
you train this afternoon
352
00:14:32,136 --> 00:14:33,636
for your football tryouts, right?
353
00:14:33,670 --> 00:14:34,337
Yeah.
354
00:14:34,371 --> 00:14:37,239
Well, she had something
to do so she sent me
355
00:14:37,273 --> 00:14:40,274
with a list of instructions.
356
00:14:40,308 --> 00:14:41,908
Well, that's really
nice of you, Gibby,
357
00:14:41,943 --> 00:14:44,676
but I decided I'm gonna bail on
the whole cobras tryout thing,
358
00:14:44,711 --> 00:14:59,153
so you can run along and do
whatever it is Gibby's do, okay?
359
00:14:59,187 --> 00:15:03,690
Oh. What was that about?
360
00:15:03,725 --> 00:15:07,093
Well, Carly said, "if
Spencer tries to be lazy,
361
00:15:07,128 --> 00:15:09,729
"throw a cup of water in
his face to perk him up."
362
00:15:09,763 --> 00:15:10,630
Right.
363
00:15:10,664 --> 00:15:13,098
Well, that was hot coffee.
364
00:15:13,132 --> 00:15:15,033
Oh.
365
00:15:15,067 --> 00:15:16,100
Well, can I have a cup of water?
366
00:15:16,134 --> 00:15:19,135
No.
367
00:15:19,170 --> 00:15:28,509
Look, I promised Carly I'd work
out with you, so let's do this.
368
00:15:28,543 --> 00:15:30,243
Okay.
369
00:15:30,277 --> 00:15:32,245
We'll go for a run
around Woodley Park.
370
00:15:32,280 --> 00:15:33,646
But that's all the way across town.
371
00:15:33,681 --> 00:15:34,781
I know.
372
00:15:34,815 --> 00:15:36,182
Here's $10.
373
00:15:36,216 --> 00:15:38,652
You take a bus and I'll run there.
374
00:15:38,687 --> 00:15:40,988
And that way I'll get
even more exercise.
375
00:15:41,023 --> 00:15:41,956
Why can't I just run
with you to the park?
376
00:15:41,991 --> 00:15:43,057
Trust me this is a great plan.
377
00:15:43,091 --> 00:15:44,124
I promised Carly I'd
work out with you.
378
00:15:44,158 --> 00:15:45,158
Don't worry your pretty
head about that.
379
00:15:45,192 --> 00:15:46,292
Well, what time do you think
you'll get to the park?
380
00:15:46,327 --> 00:15:46,726
Wait there.
381
00:15:46,761 --> 00:15:47,293
You'll see me soon.
382
00:15:47,328 --> 00:15:48,261
Are you sure this is a good plan?
383
00:15:48,295 --> 00:15:48,928
You'll get tons of exercise.
384
00:15:48,963 --> 00:15:51,898
It's not my birthday-- I
know you're very pretty.
385
00:15:51,932 --> 00:15:53,532
[Music]
386
00:16:01,676 --> 00:16:03,443
Hey. Sorry I'm late.
387
00:16:03,478 --> 00:16:04,578
You're always late.
388
00:16:04,612 --> 00:16:05,912
So? It's cool.
389
00:16:05,946 --> 00:16:08,514
The show doesn't start
for three more minutes.
390
00:16:08,548 --> 00:16:10,616
Where's Fred weird?
391
00:16:10,650 --> 00:16:11,650
Freddie's not coming.
392
00:16:11,684 --> 00:16:14,119
What. Okay.
393
00:16:14,153 --> 00:16:15,386
He stayed home from school all week,
394
00:16:15,421 --> 00:16:17,221
he missed two iCarly
rehearsals, and now
395
00:16:17,256 --> 00:16:18,522
he's gonna miss the show?
396
00:16:18,556 --> 00:16:21,892
That's so unprofessional.
397
00:16:21,926 --> 00:16:23,726
You really hurt him.
398
00:16:23,761 --> 00:16:25,361
Every time he leaves the
house, he gets teased
399
00:16:25,396 --> 00:16:28,264
'cause you told the whole world
he's never kissed anyone.
400
00:16:28,298 --> 00:16:30,299
You know, he won't
even talk to his mom.
401
00:16:30,333 --> 00:16:32,467
He just sits on the fire escape
alone 'cause he's too embarrassed
402
00:16:32,502 --> 00:16:34,035
to see anyone.
403
00:16:34,069 --> 00:16:38,205
You like ruined his whole
life and you don't even care.
404
00:16:38,240 --> 00:16:38,539
All right.
405
00:16:38,573 --> 00:16:39,339
I'll go apologize.
406
00:16:39,374 --> 00:16:42,008
It doesn't even matter if you
apologize, kids are still
407
00:16:42,043 --> 00:16:43,776
gonna give him a hard time
'cause you can't take back
408
00:16:43,811 --> 00:16:44,744
what you said.
409
00:16:44,778 --> 00:16:47,746
Look, I didn't mean-- you
went too far this time
410
00:16:47,780 --> 00:16:50,047
and you can't fix it.
411
00:16:50,082 --> 00:16:53,117
[Beeping]
412
00:16:53,151 --> 00:16:54,818
We got to start the show.
413
00:16:54,853 --> 00:16:56,653
Well, how can I do the show,
now that you made me feel
414
00:16:56,687 --> 00:16:57,454
all depressed?
415
00:16:57,488 --> 00:16:57,954
I don't know.
416
00:16:57,989 --> 00:17:02,158
Just get in front of
the camera and do it.
417
00:17:02,192 --> 00:17:06,328
In five, four, three, two-- I'm Sam.
418
00:17:06,362 --> 00:17:07,095
And I'm Carly.
419
00:17:07,129 --> 00:17:08,296
And this is iCarly.
420
00:17:08,330 --> 00:17:10,698
The only Web show that
contains no trans fat.
421
00:17:10,732 --> 00:17:14,034
And keeps Kitty litter box
smelling fresh all day.
422
00:17:14,068 --> 00:17:16,136
And now, what you've
all been waiting for.
423
00:17:16,171 --> 00:17:21,509
Carly and I are about to have
our very first-- meatball war.
424
00:17:21,544 --> 00:17:23,011
[Cheering]
425
00:17:23,046 --> 00:17:24,146
We have our slingshots.
426
00:17:24,180 --> 00:17:28,516
And a hundred meatballs.
427
00:17:28,550 --> 00:17:38,357
But before we start our meatball
war, I wanna say something.
428
00:17:38,392 --> 00:17:40,926
On the last iCarly, I told
you guys that Freddie
429
00:17:40,960 --> 00:17:43,628
never kissed anyone.
430
00:17:43,663 --> 00:17:46,764
And that was really personal
and I shouldn't have said it
431
00:17:46,798 --> 00:17:49,933
on the show.
432
00:17:49,967 --> 00:17:51,701
And for all you people out there
who've been teasing Freddie
433
00:17:51,735 --> 00:17:54,904
about it, lay off, 'cause
I bet a whole lot of you
434
00:17:54,938 --> 00:18:04,978
haven't kissed anyone
either-- including me.
435
00:18:05,013 --> 00:18:06,880
Yeah, that's right.
436
00:18:06,914 --> 00:18:09,281
I've never kissed anyone.
437
00:18:09,316 --> 00:18:11,383
So, if you wanna tease
someone about it,
438
00:18:11,418 --> 00:18:20,390
tease me, which is a bad idea
unless you live near a hospital.
439
00:18:20,424 --> 00:18:23,225
Our meatball war will be
happening soon, but for now,
440
00:18:23,260 --> 00:18:32,732
please enjoy this photo of a
man with shrimp up his nose.
441
00:18:32,766 --> 00:18:34,867
Why did you stop the show?
442
00:18:34,902 --> 00:18:38,503
That was amazing what you just did.
443
00:18:38,537 --> 00:18:40,237
Eh.
444
00:18:40,271 --> 00:18:45,943
You lied so people would
stop teasing Freddie.
445
00:18:45,977 --> 00:18:48,278
I didn't lie.
446
00:18:48,313 --> 00:18:49,379
Wait.
447
00:18:49,413 --> 00:18:51,648
You've seriously never kissed anyone?
448
00:18:51,682 --> 00:18:52,682
You shocked?
449
00:18:52,716 --> 00:19:00,888
Well, yeah, but just because
you always seemed so willing.
450
00:19:00,923 --> 00:19:07,727
I'm gonna go talk to Freddie.
451
00:19:07,762 --> 00:19:12,231
I'm taking these meatballs.
452
00:19:12,266 --> 00:19:12,999
Did I tell you
453
00:19:13,033 --> 00:19:17,202
I knew your name
454
00:19:17,236 --> 00:19:18,270
but it seems that
455
00:19:18,304 --> 00:19:22,372
I've lost it
456
00:19:22,406 --> 00:19:23,539
did I tell you
457
00:19:23,574 --> 00:19:27,375
it's my own game
458
00:19:27,410 --> 00:19:30,410
this is not your problem
459
00:19:37,585 --> 00:19:39,185
what's up?
460
00:19:39,220 --> 00:19:41,220
Nothing.
461
00:19:47,127 --> 00:19:51,094
Meatball?
462
00:19:51,129 --> 00:19:53,129
No thanks.
463
00:20:00,336 --> 00:20:03,305
That was really brave what you said.
464
00:20:03,339 --> 00:20:06,274
You heard?
465
00:20:06,308 --> 00:20:14,549
You didn't think I'd miss iCarly.
466
00:20:14,583 --> 00:20:21,488
I'm sorry about telling people
you never kissed anyone,
467
00:20:21,522 --> 00:20:26,225
and about putting blue cheese
dressing in your shampoo bottle,
468
00:20:26,260 --> 00:20:30,296
and about sending your
cell phone to Cambodia.
469
00:20:30,330 --> 00:20:32,765
Everything, okay?
470
00:20:32,799 --> 00:20:34,800
So this means you're not
gonna mess with me anymore?
471
00:20:34,834 --> 00:20:37,168
No, I'm still gonna mess with you.
472
00:20:37,202 --> 00:20:38,870
I'm just gonna apologize
every few years
473
00:20:38,904 --> 00:20:41,839
so I can start fresh again.
474
00:20:41,874 --> 00:20:42,740
Good.
475
00:20:42,774 --> 00:20:43,507
Good?
476
00:20:43,542 --> 00:20:44,341
Yeah.
477
00:20:44,376 --> 00:20:45,576
It'd be too weird if you
didn't make my life
478
00:20:45,610 --> 00:20:49,246
miserable all the time.
479
00:20:49,280 --> 00:20:52,282
But you know, maybe you could
pull back just a little bit--
480
00:20:52,316 --> 00:20:52,916
I don't think so.
481
00:20:52,950 --> 00:20:57,120
Yeah, I didn't either.
482
00:20:57,154 --> 00:20:59,088
It's so dumb.
483
00:20:59,123 --> 00:20:59,822
What do you mean?
484
00:20:59,857 --> 00:21:05,026
You know, how people get all
freaked out over their first kiss.
485
00:21:05,061 --> 00:21:06,761
Stupid.
486
00:21:06,795 --> 00:21:08,296
So you weren't lying?
487
00:21:08,330 --> 00:21:10,327
You've really never kissed anyone?
488
00:21:10,362 --> 00:21:13,362
Nope.
489
00:21:13,396 --> 00:21:17,098
Sometimes I just wish I can
get it out of the way.
490
00:21:17,132 --> 00:21:18,399
Yeah, you know, me too.
491
00:21:18,433 --> 00:21:20,067
Right?
492
00:21:20,101 --> 00:21:21,735
You know, just so I can
stop worrying about it.
493
00:21:21,769 --> 00:21:26,005
Yeah.
494
00:21:26,039 --> 00:21:27,339
What?
495
00:21:27,374 --> 00:21:29,474
Nothing.
It's-- tell me.
496
00:21:29,508 --> 00:21:30,608
No, it's dumb.
497
00:21:30,643 --> 00:21:32,310
Say it.
498
00:21:32,344 --> 00:21:42,319
Okay. I was just gonna
say-- that we should kiss?
499
00:21:42,353 --> 00:21:46,223
You're gonna break my arm now, right?
500
00:21:46,257 --> 00:21:48,725
No.
501
00:21:48,759 --> 00:21:53,062
Well, should we?
502
00:21:53,096 --> 00:21:55,597
Just so both of us can
get it over with?
503
00:21:55,632 --> 00:21:59,334
Hmm.
504
00:21:59,368 --> 00:22:00,902
Just to get it over with.
505
00:22:00,936 --> 00:22:01,869
Just to get it over with.
506
00:22:01,904 --> 00:22:04,038
And you swear we both go right
back to hating each other
507
00:22:04,072 --> 00:22:05,072
as soon as it's over.
508
00:22:05,107 --> 00:22:05,639
Oh, totally.
509
00:22:05,674 --> 00:22:06,974
And we never tell anyone.
510
00:22:07,008 --> 00:22:08,608
Never.
511
00:22:13,247 --> 00:22:17,382
Well, when?
512
00:22:17,417 --> 00:22:18,016
I don't know
513
00:22:18,051 --> 00:22:21,219
if I'm gonna change
514
00:22:21,253 --> 00:22:24,253
wasting time and another day
515
00:22:39,301 --> 00:22:42,170
well, that was-- nice?
516
00:22:42,204 --> 00:22:45,672
Yeah, nice.
517
00:22:45,707 --> 00:22:46,373
Good work.
518
00:22:46,407 --> 00:22:46,807
Thank you.
519
00:22:46,841 --> 00:22:51,844
You too.
520
00:22:51,845 --> 00:22:55,180
I keep running away
521
00:22:55,215 --> 00:23:00,418
Hey, I hate you.
522
00:23:00,452 --> 00:23:02,262
Hate you too.
523
00:23:02,312 --> 00:23:06,862
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