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1
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Hank, if your neck is
so sore all the time,
2
00:00:06,780 --> 00:00:09,280
why don't you just buy a new mattress?
3
00:00:09,320 --> 00:00:10,630
Who am I, Warren Buffet?
4
00:00:10,660 --> 00:00:11,980
I'm on a fixed income.
5
00:00:11,990 --> 00:00:15,720
I can't just be buying a new
mattress every 25 years.
6
00:00:15,723 --> 00:00:18,380
Yeah, I get all my
mattresses from the street.
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00:00:18,400 --> 00:00:21,370
Sometimes they even come
with a free raccoon.
8
00:00:21,390 --> 00:00:23,640
All right, Hank, I'm just
gonna very gently...
9
00:00:23,660 --> 00:00:24,809
Okay, now... Whoa!
10
00:00:24,810 --> 00:00:26,640
Oh! You demon!
11
00:00:26,680 --> 00:00:29,689
Wait a minute. Wow. You fixed it.
12
00:00:29,690 --> 00:00:31,080
- Oh.
- Nice work, demon.
13
00:00:31,090 --> 00:00:32,180
Mm.
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00:00:32,760 --> 00:00:33,980
Well, Sid.
15
00:00:34,000 --> 00:00:35,630
- Ah.
- I'm off to Milan
16
00:00:35,660 --> 00:00:37,279
for a week... again.
17
00:00:37,280 --> 00:00:40,940
Listen, I have some rather fickle ficus.
18
00:00:41,000 --> 00:00:44,260
You sure you can handle watering
my plants while I'm gone?
19
00:00:44,340 --> 00:00:46,960
I know you poors don't like to work.
20
00:00:46,980 --> 00:00:48,760
You know it.
21
00:00:48,790 --> 00:00:51,091
Everybody, this is Edie.
22
00:00:51,092 --> 00:00:54,129
She lives over in Shady Meadows West,
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00:00:54,130 --> 00:00:56,360
where the rich people live.
24
00:00:56,390 --> 00:00:58,259
I wandered over there once,
25
00:00:58,260 --> 00:01:01,420
and Edie was kind enough
to escort me out.
26
00:01:01,440 --> 00:01:03,040
Here's the key.
27
00:01:03,060 --> 00:01:06,059
Be sure to remove your shoes on the rug.
28
00:01:06,060 --> 00:01:09,600
And I must insist you
sit when you urinate.
29
00:01:09,620 --> 00:01:12,300
Ooh, do we stand when we do number two?
30
00:01:12,330 --> 00:01:15,489
Oh, forget I said that.
31
00:01:15,490 --> 00:01:17,760
Uh, uh, don't you worry.
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00:01:17,770 --> 00:01:21,900
I'm going to treat your fickle
fici as if they were my own.
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00:01:21,940 --> 00:01:23,780
See that you do.
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00:01:23,950 --> 00:01:25,680
Toodily oodily.
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00:01:27,680 --> 00:01:29,630
Gee, I hope they let
her through security
36
00:01:29,640 --> 00:01:31,660
with that stick up her butt.
37
00:01:31,690 --> 00:01:34,900
Sid, why would you do anything
for that snobby woman?
38
00:01:35,900 --> 00:01:38,930
Any other stupid questions, stupid?
39
00:01:41,640 --> 00:01:43,469
Sorry.
40
00:01:43,470 --> 00:01:46,480
Living the high life is getting to me.
41
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Oh, it's plastic.
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43
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- Synced & corrected by MementMori -
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44
00:02:14,500 --> 00:02:17,089
Wow. So this is how
the other half lives.
45
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Two bed, two bath. Washer, dryer.
46
00:02:20,000 --> 00:02:22,620
Yeah. Now I don't have to get glared at
47
00:02:22,640 --> 00:02:25,980
by Meredith McDougle
in the laundry room.
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00:02:26,020 --> 00:02:27,979
The woman is there every day,
49
00:02:27,980 --> 00:02:29,860
yet her clothes are always dirty.
50
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What are you washing, Meredith?!
51
00:02:32,450 --> 00:02:35,200
Ooh-wee!
52
00:02:35,220 --> 00:02:39,079
Ooh, this massage chair
is working my neck out.
53
00:02:39,080 --> 00:02:40,359
And my butt!
54
00:02:40,360 --> 00:02:42,640
Oh! Thattagirl!
55
00:02:42,680 --> 00:02:44,920
Work that booty.
56
00:02:45,560 --> 00:02:47,960
Look at that crappy apartment down there
57
00:02:47,980 --> 00:02:50,039
with the two-cent window treatments.
58
00:02:50,040 --> 00:02:52,660
What... what kind of
an animal lives there?
59
00:02:52,700 --> 00:02:54,460
Oh.
60
00:02:54,465 --> 00:02:56,839
I think that's actually my place.
61
00:02:56,840 --> 00:02:59,880
This kitchen is great. I love to cook.
62
00:02:59,900 --> 00:03:02,560
Reminds me of my days as
a chef on a wagon train.
63
00:03:03,900 --> 00:03:05,960
Frontierland at Disney World.
64
00:03:06,940 --> 00:03:08,099
Cookie, anyone?
65
00:03:08,100 --> 00:03:09,560
Yeah, sure.
66
00:03:09,570 --> 00:03:11,539
- Wow.
- This is the life.
67
00:03:11,540 --> 00:03:12,550
Mmm.
68
00:03:12,560 --> 00:03:14,940
Holy crap, Charlie.
69
00:03:14,960 --> 00:03:16,159
These are really good.
70
00:03:16,160 --> 00:03:18,029
- I had no idea you bake.
- Thanks.
71
00:03:18,030 --> 00:03:22,080
Yeah, I like to get stoned and
just let my creativity run wild.
72
00:03:22,100 --> 00:03:23,690
Sometimes it leads to baking,
73
00:03:23,700 --> 00:03:26,380
and sometimes it leads to, uh...
74
00:03:27,720 --> 00:03:30,380
What were we talking about?
75
00:03:30,460 --> 00:03:32,419
Okay. Fast.
76
00:03:32,420 --> 00:03:34,379
Oh, fast.
77
00:03:34,380 --> 00:03:37,060
Wait a minute. I don't think I
feel comfortable with this.
78
00:03:37,133 --> 00:03:38,799
Hold up.
79
00:03:38,800 --> 00:03:40,920
Yes, I do.
80
00:03:42,880 --> 00:03:45,059
If this ever goes to trial,
81
00:03:45,060 --> 00:03:47,520
I'm a witness for the chair.
82
00:03:47,620 --> 00:03:49,840
You know what, Charlie? You
could make some decent money
83
00:03:49,850 --> 00:03:51,550
- selling these cookies.
- Oh, Charlie,
84
00:03:51,560 --> 00:03:53,769
you'd be adorable selling cookies.
85
00:03:53,770 --> 00:03:56,700
Like a stoned, wrinkly Girl Scout.
86
00:03:56,720 --> 00:04:00,460
What am I saying? That
would be terrifying.
87
00:04:00,500 --> 00:04:02,990
Yeah, I appreciate it, guys, but no.
88
00:04:02,992 --> 00:04:05,326
No, cooking is just a hobby I picked up
89
00:04:05,327 --> 00:04:07,788
when I retired, like, uh...
90
00:04:09,840 --> 00:04:12,040
Like, what-what are we talking about?
91
00:04:12,140 --> 00:04:15,090
Ben and Jerry started
as a fun hobby, too,
92
00:04:15,100 --> 00:04:16,109
and look at them now.
93
00:04:16,110 --> 00:04:18,760
Yeah, I don't care about
your other friends.
94
00:04:19,640 --> 00:04:21,879
You guys like this place, right?
95
00:04:21,880 --> 00:04:24,380
It's only $1,000 a month more.
96
00:04:24,400 --> 00:04:26,199
I mean, if we could
turn Charlie's Cookies
97
00:04:26,200 --> 00:04:28,549
into a real business...
which I know how to do...
98
00:04:28,550 --> 00:04:31,680
we could all be living
in Shady Meadows West.
99
00:04:31,700 --> 00:04:35,024
I mean, isn't this what we want
our retirement to look like?
100
00:04:35,025 --> 00:04:37,699
I've always wanted to be a snob.
101
00:04:37,700 --> 00:04:41,360
I so seldom get to look down on people.
102
00:04:41,370 --> 00:04:44,559
I could use the spare money
to buy a nice mattress.
103
00:04:44,560 --> 00:04:46,660
I mean, if I keep lying on mine,
104
00:04:46,700 --> 00:04:48,578
I won't be able to turn
my neck to the left.
105
00:04:48,579 --> 00:04:50,205
How am I gonna watch tennis?
106
00:04:50,206 --> 00:04:52,059
I'll be all like...
107
00:04:55,870 --> 00:04:58,660
What do you say, Charlie?
They're your cookies.
108
00:04:58,700 --> 00:05:02,240
Well, you know, we didn't retire
to retire from retirement.
109
00:05:02,260 --> 00:05:04,700
If we retired to make
money for our retirement,
110
00:05:04,720 --> 00:05:06,596
then you're not retiring
from your retirement.
111
00:05:06,597 --> 00:05:08,200
You have to retire your retirement
112
00:05:08,220 --> 00:05:11,240
to retire, and that's tiring.
113
00:05:11,280 --> 00:05:14,120
Look, Charlie, all you have to do
114
00:05:14,140 --> 00:05:15,770
is get baked and bake.
115
00:05:15,773 --> 00:05:18,273
I have always dreamed of
running my own business.
116
00:05:18,274 --> 00:05:20,120
I will handle everything else.
117
00:05:20,140 --> 00:05:21,480
I don't think so.
118
00:05:21,500 --> 00:05:23,613
Your weed would be a business write-off.
119
00:05:23,614 --> 00:05:24,699
I'm in.
120
00:05:30,760 --> 00:05:34,980
Now, if you will turn to
page 14 in your packets,
121
00:05:35,000 --> 00:05:38,110
you will see that our marginal
costs are gonna start
122
00:05:38,120 --> 00:05:40,060
- to decline right here...
- As will our lives
123
00:05:40,080 --> 00:05:43,090
if you don't stop talking!
124
00:05:43,820 --> 00:05:46,240
Seriously, Margaret, you
said this would be fun.
125
00:05:46,260 --> 00:05:50,260
I have never had less fun in
my life, and I was a P.O.W.
126
00:05:50,280 --> 00:05:53,219
At least there, they played music.
127
00:05:53,220 --> 00:05:55,460
Okay, guys, we're putting
in a little work now
128
00:05:55,480 --> 00:05:57,659
so that we can have a lot of fun later.
129
00:05:57,660 --> 00:05:59,520
We need a professional oven like Edie's
130
00:05:59,550 --> 00:06:00,719
if we're gonna make enough cookies
131
00:06:00,720 --> 00:06:02,139
to get this company off the ground,
132
00:06:02,140 --> 00:06:03,149
and we only have a week
133
00:06:03,150 --> 00:06:04,590
before she gets back home.
134
00:06:07,160 --> 00:06:08,850
Margaret, here's where you went wrong.
135
00:06:08,860 --> 00:06:10,660
See, you made pie charts
136
00:06:10,680 --> 00:06:12,399
when you should've made cookie charts
137
00:06:12,400 --> 00:06:13,890
made out of real cookies.
138
00:06:13,910 --> 00:06:16,869
That way, when you're talking,
we can be eating bites
139
00:06:16,870 --> 00:06:19,619
that represent the profits and losses.
140
00:06:19,620 --> 00:06:21,579
Get in there, Hank. Save her.
141
00:06:21,580 --> 00:06:24,549
Oh, looks like I need to come
in here and take charge.
142
00:06:24,550 --> 00:06:27,549
All right, so, uh, first of
all, you don't run a business
143
00:06:27,550 --> 00:06:30,100
with all this old nerd stuff.
You got to use your gut.
144
00:06:30,120 --> 00:06:33,500
Mm. Well, you definitely have
me beat in the gut department.
145
00:06:33,520 --> 00:06:35,240
What do you know about business?
146
00:06:35,280 --> 00:06:38,180
You were a meter reader
for the gas company.
147
00:06:38,200 --> 00:06:39,780
Margaret, I was in sales.
148
00:06:39,800 --> 00:06:42,149
How is reading meters sales?
149
00:06:42,150 --> 00:06:43,699
Well, I had to sell the idea
150
00:06:43,700 --> 00:06:45,820
of a black man coming on
white folks' property.
151
00:06:45,840 --> 00:06:48,720
If I can sell that, cookies
will be a piece of cake.
152
00:06:48,740 --> 00:06:50,699
Ooh, we should sell cake.
153
00:06:50,700 --> 00:06:52,239
And doughnuts, too!
154
00:06:52,240 --> 00:06:54,100
- And wallets.
- What?
155
00:06:54,120 --> 00:06:57,500
No. No, Charlie's Cookies
should only be selling cookies.
156
00:06:57,520 --> 00:07:00,400
Look, you guys, I have been
through this whole thing before.
157
00:07:00,420 --> 00:07:02,020
My ex-husband Kenny and I ran
158
00:07:02,040 --> 00:07:04,460
a seafood distribution
company for years.
159
00:07:04,520 --> 00:07:06,349
And that applies to cakes,
160
00:07:06,350 --> 00:07:10,100
doughnuts and wallets how?
161
00:07:10,190 --> 00:07:12,700
He didn't listen to me, either,
162
00:07:12,720 --> 00:07:14,899
and that's why our company
crashed and burned.
163
00:07:14,900 --> 00:07:18,560
Wasn't for him, I'd be the
shrimp queen of Pensacola.
164
00:07:18,580 --> 00:07:20,720
While we're bringing
up painful memories,
165
00:07:20,760 --> 00:07:24,480
"shrimp queen" is really
triggering for me.
166
00:07:25,960 --> 00:07:29,580
Anyway, I am not gonna
watch another company fail
167
00:07:29,600 --> 00:07:31,720
just because a man is
too stubborn to listen.
168
00:07:31,740 --> 00:07:33,920
I will be running Charlie's Cookies.
169
00:07:33,960 --> 00:07:36,839
So, you get to be in charge just
'cause you married a moron?
170
00:07:36,840 --> 00:07:38,640
What kind of sense does that make?
171
00:07:40,010 --> 00:07:43,180
It's called "Charlie's Cookies."
172
00:07:43,220 --> 00:07:45,320
Okay, so I think it's pretty obvious
173
00:07:45,340 --> 00:07:47,850
who should be running it. Hank.
174
00:07:49,040 --> 00:07:51,360
Can't argue with that logic.
175
00:07:51,400 --> 00:07:53,560
You guys want extra money, right?
176
00:07:53,580 --> 00:07:55,109
Hank, you want that new mattress.
177
00:07:55,110 --> 00:07:56,989
Sid, you want the high life.
178
00:07:56,990 --> 00:07:59,560
Charlie, we know you want the high life.
179
00:07:59,580 --> 00:08:02,520
I'm the one that can lead us
down that path to success.
180
00:08:02,560 --> 00:08:03,719
Now, I know the charts and the graphs...
181
00:08:03,720 --> 00:08:06,940
Oh, she's boring us
again! I vote for Hank!
182
00:08:07,000 --> 00:08:08,780
- Me, too.
- Guys...
183
00:08:08,800 --> 00:08:10,280
How about you, Margaret?
What's your vote?
184
00:08:10,300 --> 00:08:13,500
Never mind! Doesn't
matter! Hank's in charge.
185
00:08:13,520 --> 00:08:15,879
First order of business:
let's go swimming.
186
00:08:15,880 --> 00:08:17,220
All right!
187
00:08:23,760 --> 00:08:26,769
1,000 cookies by Friday.
188
00:08:26,770 --> 00:08:29,440
Absolutely, no problem.
We can make that happen.
189
00:08:29,520 --> 00:08:31,260
Thank you.
190
00:08:31,290 --> 00:08:34,460
You guys, I just landed a huge order.
191
00:08:34,480 --> 00:08:36,489
It's a big resort in Sedona.
192
00:08:36,490 --> 00:08:37,819
Could we now please admit
193
00:08:37,820 --> 00:08:40,000
that I am the one who
should be in charge?
194
00:08:40,050 --> 00:08:41,969
Nope. But listen to this.
195
00:08:41,970 --> 00:08:45,080
Charlie's got an idea for
a chocolate chip cookie
196
00:08:45,100 --> 00:08:48,720
where all the chips are
little bitty cookies.
197
00:08:51,760 --> 00:08:54,940
We're gonna be so frigging rich.
198
00:08:55,020 --> 00:08:57,019
Oh, you know what?
199
00:08:57,020 --> 00:08:58,519
Forget about a mattress.
200
00:08:58,520 --> 00:09:00,020
I'm gonna buy a waterbed,
201
00:09:00,040 --> 00:09:02,220
and I'm gonna fill it full of champagne.
202
00:09:02,240 --> 00:09:04,819
Hank, don't be spending
money before you got it.
203
00:09:04,820 --> 00:09:07,340
That's just about the most
foolish thing you can do.
204
00:09:07,370 --> 00:09:10,580
Guess who's been spending
their balls off.
205
00:09:12,200 --> 00:09:13,560
Wha... ?
206
00:09:13,580 --> 00:09:16,180
Where are the groceries
I asked you to buy?
207
00:09:16,200 --> 00:09:18,629
And why are you dressed
like a Build-A-Bear?
208
00:09:18,630 --> 00:09:21,940
Why are you dressed like the
manager at a pumpkin patch?
209
00:09:23,200 --> 00:09:26,660
We can both be mean, Margaret.
210
00:09:26,760 --> 00:09:29,259
Who wears a fur in Arizona?
211
00:09:29,260 --> 00:09:31,480
If I'm gonna live in Shady Meadows West,
212
00:09:31,540 --> 00:09:33,290
I got to look the part.
213
00:09:33,300 --> 00:09:36,240
What part is that? The oldest Ewok?
214
00:09:37,300 --> 00:09:39,200
How did you afford all of this?
215
00:09:39,220 --> 00:09:42,729
I set us up a corporate
credit card, silly.
216
00:09:42,730 --> 00:09:44,359
The company pays for it.
217
00:09:44,360 --> 00:09:46,120
We are the company.
218
00:09:47,820 --> 00:09:50,520
We have got to hustle if
we're gonna fill this order
219
00:09:50,550 --> 00:09:52,039
before Edie gets home.
220
00:09:52,040 --> 00:09:54,020
This is a golden opportunity, guys.
221
00:09:54,040 --> 00:09:55,260
Come on, let's get to work.
222
00:09:55,270 --> 00:09:57,320
Whoa, Margaret, calm down.
223
00:09:57,340 --> 00:09:59,749
You seem a little emotional.
224
00:09:59,750 --> 00:10:02,480
Don't worry about it. I got this.
225
00:10:02,500 --> 00:10:05,759
You're right. I am being
a little emotional.
226
00:10:05,760 --> 00:10:07,760
Typical woman, right?
227
00:10:07,830 --> 00:10:09,220
You get it.
228
00:10:09,250 --> 00:10:11,879
Oh, she gets it. Yeah.
229
00:10:11,880 --> 00:10:13,320
Hank, as long as you're in charge,
230
00:10:13,340 --> 00:10:16,780
would you mind if I ran out
and got all of the supplies
231
00:10:16,800 --> 00:10:20,849
that Sid forgot and maybe
have myself a... a good cry?
232
00:10:20,850 --> 00:10:22,770
I approve that.
233
00:10:24,000 --> 00:10:25,800
Have fun.
234
00:10:27,060 --> 00:10:28,400
Finally.
235
00:10:28,420 --> 00:10:31,609
Now maybe we can get some work done.
236
00:10:36,120 --> 00:10:38,260
Hank, if we're gonna get
rich off this thing,
237
00:10:38,320 --> 00:10:39,720
we need a jingle.
238
00:10:39,740 --> 00:10:41,160
I'm thinking something like...
239
00:10:41,190 --> 00:10:42,689
♪ Lookee, lookee ♪
240
00:10:42,690 --> 00:10:44,949
♪ Charlie's got a cookie. ♪
241
00:10:44,950 --> 00:10:47,409
All right, sing that song again.
Let me put some stank on it.
242
00:10:47,410 --> 00:10:49,329
♪ Lookee, lookee ♪
243
00:10:49,330 --> 00:10:51,579
♪ Charlie's got a cookie ♪
244
00:10:51,580 --> 00:10:53,409
♪ Lookee, lookee ♪
245
00:10:53,410 --> 00:10:56,419
♪ Charlie's got a cookie. ♪
246
00:10:56,420 --> 00:10:58,600
- Well, that's done.
- Mm.
247
00:11:01,920 --> 00:11:03,760
That's my boss.
248
00:11:07,540 --> 00:11:09,049
Hey, Charlie.
249
00:11:09,050 --> 00:11:10,889
I'm glad you're alone.
250
00:11:10,890 --> 00:11:13,940
Aren't we all really,
at the end of the day?
251
00:11:14,890 --> 00:11:17,399
Yeah, things got a little
heated there earlier,
252
00:11:17,400 --> 00:11:20,300
so, uh, I brought over a
little peace offering.
253
00:11:20,310 --> 00:11:21,819
Ooh.
254
00:11:21,820 --> 00:11:25,660
This is a strain called
"Nipple of the Gods."
255
00:11:25,690 --> 00:11:28,320
It is grown just outside of Humboldt.
256
00:11:28,340 --> 00:11:31,480
I don't need the whole story,
J.K. Rowling. Just spark it up.
257
00:11:35,620 --> 00:11:36,930
♪ Lookee, lookee ♪
258
00:11:36,940 --> 00:11:39,129
♪ Charlie's got a cookie ♪
259
00:11:39,130 --> 00:11:42,630
♪ Lookee, lookee,
Charlie's got a cookie. ♪
260
00:11:42,640 --> 00:11:44,419
That's the best one yet.
261
00:11:44,420 --> 00:11:47,840
I think that four-hour rehearsal
we had today really helped.
262
00:11:47,880 --> 00:11:50,469
I've just got to quadruple-check.
263
00:11:50,470 --> 00:11:52,780
It's a "no" on my choreography?
264
00:11:52,800 --> 00:11:53,820
Yeah.
265
00:11:56,140 --> 00:11:58,620
Wait a minute. What is going on here?
266
00:11:58,640 --> 00:12:01,620
- Every table is eating our cookies.
- Wow.
267
00:12:01,630 --> 00:12:03,620
Uh, hey, baby, where'd
you get these from?
268
00:12:03,650 --> 00:12:07,020
Oh. A red-haired woman sold those to us,
269
00:12:07,040 --> 00:12:08,679
and Susan wouldn't buy any,
270
00:12:08,680 --> 00:12:11,409
and she called her the "B" word.
271
00:12:11,410 --> 00:12:14,080
- Margaret.
- Yes, that's it.
272
00:12:14,100 --> 00:12:16,750
That's funny, because when she
came over the other night,
273
00:12:16,760 --> 00:12:18,880
- she didn't mention anything about this.
- Wait. Hold up.
274
00:12:18,900 --> 00:12:21,500
- She came to see you?
- Yeah, it was fun.
275
00:12:21,520 --> 00:12:23,160
She got me really stoned,
276
00:12:23,180 --> 00:12:24,879
and she brought out
these legal documents
277
00:12:24,880 --> 00:12:27,469
and challenged me to a
signature contest, and I...
278
00:12:27,470 --> 00:12:30,000
- Oh, geez.
- Margaret.
279
00:12:30,960 --> 00:12:32,940
But who won the contest?
280
00:12:35,040 --> 00:12:37,639
Margaret!
281
00:12:37,640 --> 00:12:39,980
Margaret, open up the door right now!
282
00:12:41,160 --> 00:12:42,480
Everything okay, Hank?
283
00:12:42,500 --> 00:12:45,240
Because you sound really emotional.
284
00:12:45,270 --> 00:12:47,120
What is going on in here?
285
00:12:47,140 --> 00:12:48,630
Well, I'm running a successful business
286
00:12:48,640 --> 00:12:50,409
the way I always wanted to.
287
00:12:50,410 --> 00:12:53,780
Hard-working employees,
breaks to call grandkids,
288
00:12:53,800 --> 00:12:55,789
orders being fulfilled on time,
289
00:12:55,790 --> 00:12:59,980
and a business plan that does
not involve miniature furs.
290
00:13:00,000 --> 00:13:02,290
This is a youth large.
291
00:13:03,600 --> 00:13:05,339
Blah, blah, blah.
292
00:13:05,340 --> 00:13:08,380
This doesn't change the fact
that you stole this business.
293
00:13:08,440 --> 00:13:11,639
I did not steal it. I
bought it fair and square.
294
00:13:11,640 --> 00:13:13,550
How can it be fair when you tricked me?
295
00:13:13,600 --> 00:13:16,240
I did not trick you. You
gave me the recipe.
296
00:13:16,260 --> 00:13:18,390
You said I could buy the
company for a dollar.
297
00:13:18,400 --> 00:13:20,019
I said I didn't have a dollar.
298
00:13:20,020 --> 00:13:22,979
You said, "Good enough."
You gave me the company.
299
00:13:22,980 --> 00:13:24,689
Does sound kind of familiar, Hank.
300
00:13:24,690 --> 00:13:26,539
Yeah, well, screw that.
301
00:13:26,540 --> 00:13:28,489
We gonna find our own cookie buyers.
302
00:13:28,490 --> 00:13:30,859
And I know real fat people, Margaret.
303
00:13:30,860 --> 00:13:33,119
Come on, y'all. Let's
go get some supplies.
304
00:13:33,120 --> 00:13:35,079
Yeah, well, about those supplies.
305
00:13:35,080 --> 00:13:37,290
We don't have any money left.
306
00:13:37,320 --> 00:13:41,800
Somebody maxed out our
company credit card.
307
00:13:41,820 --> 00:13:44,060
It was your boy.
308
00:13:44,140 --> 00:13:47,339
- Damn it, Sid!
- Well, it wasn't just me.
309
00:13:47,340 --> 00:13:50,720
You should see how much
Charlie has blown on weed.
310
00:13:50,740 --> 00:13:54,300
We got somebody on the
payroll named Dank Steve.
311
00:13:54,360 --> 00:13:57,059
You know, I've been biting
my tongue on this all week,
312
00:13:57,060 --> 00:14:00,620
but, uh... he prefers Dank Steven.
313
00:14:01,720 --> 00:14:05,359
You know, guys, I couldn't help
but overhear that you suck,
314
00:14:05,360 --> 00:14:07,189
and you've run your company
315
00:14:07,190 --> 00:14:09,070
into the ground, and you have no money.
316
00:14:09,140 --> 00:14:12,239
- We did not say that we suck.
- Oh, it was implied.
317
00:14:12,240 --> 00:14:15,120
Anyway, I'm looking for some
extra hands in the kitchen
318
00:14:15,140 --> 00:14:17,240
if you're interested in working for me.
319
00:14:17,270 --> 00:14:20,800
Over our dead bodies will
we humiliate ourselves
320
00:14:20,820 --> 00:14:22,789
- by bending the knee to your...
- You know, Hank,
321
00:14:22,790 --> 00:14:25,780
she does sound like she
knows what she's doing.
322
00:14:25,800 --> 00:14:29,899
Yeah, Hank. We all want that
Shady Meadows West life, but...
323
00:14:29,900 --> 00:14:31,550
- Yeah.
- I don't see it happening
324
00:14:31,560 --> 00:14:33,140
with you at the helm.
325
00:14:33,160 --> 00:14:35,089
I'm with Margaret now.
326
00:14:35,090 --> 00:14:36,469
Yeah, me, too.
327
00:14:36,470 --> 00:14:38,000
You bunch of betrayers.
328
00:14:38,020 --> 00:14:40,920
I hope you know this
means war. Cookie war!
329
00:14:41,000 --> 00:14:43,140
Good luck trying to sell
something without a jingle.
330
00:14:43,170 --> 00:14:46,420
Oh, you mean the jingle that
Charlie sold to me? Ladies?
331
00:14:46,440 --> 00:14:48,819
♪ Lookee, lookee ♪
332
00:14:48,820 --> 00:14:50,760
♪ Margaret's got a cookie. ♪
333
00:14:50,780 --> 00:14:53,110
Damn, damn, damn!
334
00:14:56,900 --> 00:14:58,119
Great job, team.
335
00:14:58,120 --> 00:14:59,720
We're gonna have these cookies done
336
00:14:59,740 --> 00:15:01,119
with time to spare.
337
00:15:01,120 --> 00:15:02,300
Sid, you're killing it,
338
00:15:02,320 --> 00:15:04,399
but you need to take that fur coat off,
339
00:15:04,400 --> 00:15:07,959
or else cover your entire
body with a hair net.
340
00:15:07,960 --> 00:15:09,839
Oh, I'll just take it off.
341
00:15:09,840 --> 00:15:12,959
I do not know how Russian prostitutes
342
00:15:12,960 --> 00:15:15,260
get anything done in these.
343
00:15:16,820 --> 00:15:19,219
Guys, we have got a huge problem.
344
00:15:19,220 --> 00:15:20,889
The oven is not working.
345
00:15:20,890 --> 00:15:23,600
That's 'cause I just turned the gas off.
346
00:15:23,680 --> 00:15:28,020
Never mess with a retired
meter reader, baby.
347
00:15:28,040 --> 00:15:31,360
Well, that is pretty stupid,
even for you, Hank.
348
00:15:31,380 --> 00:15:33,660
I will just turn the gas back on.
349
00:15:33,680 --> 00:15:35,200
You don't know how. Ha!
350
00:15:35,230 --> 00:15:37,399
Isn't it just a little valve
351
00:15:37,400 --> 00:15:39,490
that you turn counterclockwise?
352
00:15:43,980 --> 00:15:45,370
Maybe.
353
00:15:46,700 --> 00:15:48,540
But sometimes you need a wrench.
354
00:15:48,570 --> 00:15:50,629
You got a wrench, Margaret?
355
00:15:50,630 --> 00:15:53,040
We could just call 24-hour maintenance.
356
00:15:53,060 --> 00:15:56,240
This is Shady Meadows West.
They actually show up.
357
00:15:56,260 --> 00:15:57,720
Shut up, Sid.
358
00:15:57,750 --> 00:16:00,139
Everybody is turning against me.
359
00:16:00,140 --> 00:16:02,960
I lost the company, I lost my friends.
360
00:16:02,990 --> 00:16:04,119
What is next?
361
00:16:04,120 --> 00:16:05,920
Hank, you can have all of that back
362
00:16:05,960 --> 00:16:07,479
if you will just listen to me.
363
00:16:07,480 --> 00:16:11,189
Well, that sounds like a good
idea... on opposite day!
364
00:16:11,190 --> 00:16:16,150
I will never listen to
anything you have to say.
365
00:16:16,160 --> 00:16:17,850
I am taking this company back.
366
00:16:17,880 --> 00:16:20,159
Oh, you wouldn't know
what to do with it.
367
00:16:20,160 --> 00:16:21,700
You're a meter maid!
368
00:16:23,740 --> 00:16:27,499
Meter man. Meter man.
369
00:16:27,500 --> 00:16:30,680
Oh... Is that supposed to impress me?
370
00:16:30,760 --> 00:16:34,080
Your job was wandering around
neighborhoods in shorts.
371
00:16:34,100 --> 00:16:38,500
Pleated shorts! Pleated dress shorts!
372
00:16:38,520 --> 00:16:40,590
They're the half pants of kings.
373
00:16:43,380 --> 00:16:47,439
Well... so, how you
gonna make cookies now,
374
00:16:47,440 --> 00:16:49,020
now that you don't have any flour?
375
00:16:49,040 --> 00:16:50,650
That is sugar, Hank.
376
00:16:50,680 --> 00:16:54,360
So... now you gonna get ants.
377
00:16:54,420 --> 00:16:57,540
And-and how you gonna
sell all these cookies
378
00:16:57,580 --> 00:16:59,659
if you can't find them?
379
00:17:01,280 --> 00:17:03,280
Oh, I'll save the cookies for...
380
00:17:03,300 --> 00:17:06,020
Ah! Hot, hot, hot, hot tray!
381
00:17:07,360 --> 00:17:08,369
- Oops.
- Oh!
382
00:17:08,370 --> 00:17:09,869
Sorry. My bad.
383
00:17:09,870 --> 00:17:12,629
Oh, you are such a baby!
384
00:17:12,630 --> 00:17:15,459
Would a baby ever do this?
385
00:17:18,920 --> 00:17:22,260
Hey! Look at yourselves.
386
00:17:22,300 --> 00:17:24,219
This was supposed to be fun,
387
00:17:24,220 --> 00:17:26,259
and now you're tearing
at each other's throats.
388
00:17:26,260 --> 00:17:28,889
And for what?
389
00:17:28,890 --> 00:17:32,649
A little extra money?
390
00:17:32,650 --> 00:17:34,979
- You can't enjoy cookies...
- Oh!
391
00:17:34,980 --> 00:17:36,479
... without a little milk!
392
00:17:36,480 --> 00:17:37,729
Stop it!
393
00:17:37,730 --> 00:17:39,219
Stop it!
394
00:17:39,220 --> 00:17:41,819
What the hell is the matter with you?!
395
00:17:41,820 --> 00:17:45,300
I told you how important this
was to me, and you ruined it!
396
00:17:45,330 --> 00:17:47,300
Why?! Why, Hank?
397
00:17:47,320 --> 00:17:49,409
Because I did something you couldn't do?
398
00:17:49,410 --> 00:17:52,460
- What's that, have babies?
- There's that, too!
399
00:17:57,780 --> 00:18:01,720
Can somebody show me how
to turn this thing off?
400
00:18:11,320 --> 00:18:14,180
Boy, she's working
that ball pretty hard.
401
00:18:14,200 --> 00:18:16,859
Should we wait till she
tires out a little?
402
00:18:16,860 --> 00:18:18,779
No, let's get right to it.
403
00:18:18,780 --> 00:18:20,939
Charlie, you go in first.
You've seen combat.
404
00:18:20,940 --> 00:18:23,609
Uh, you don't survive by going in first.
405
00:18:23,610 --> 00:18:25,320
All right.
406
00:18:26,120 --> 00:18:28,949
Hey, girl. How's your day going?
407
00:18:28,950 --> 00:18:31,039
Go away. I'm busy.
408
00:18:31,040 --> 00:18:32,959
Uh, listen,
409
00:18:32,960 --> 00:18:36,200
I'm not very good at
apologies, so, um...
410
00:18:36,240 --> 00:18:38,040
we cool?
411
00:18:38,060 --> 00:18:40,940
What Hank means to say
412
00:18:40,960 --> 00:18:43,660
is that he's sorry. That's
what you mean to say,
413
00:18:43,680 --> 00:18:45,739
Hank, right? I don't want
to put words in your mouth,
414
00:18:45,740 --> 00:18:48,759
but you tell Margaret
you're sorry right now.
415
00:18:48,760 --> 00:18:51,720
I'll say I'm sorry when I'm ready.
416
00:18:52,390 --> 00:18:54,979
All right, I'm ready.
417
00:18:54,980 --> 00:18:58,190
So, um, I'm not good with apologies,
418
00:18:58,220 --> 00:18:59,750
but I was watching that show, uh,
419
00:18:59,760 --> 00:19:00,899
- This Is Us.
- Yeah.
420
00:19:00,900 --> 00:19:04,609
And the black dude on the
show would say, uh...
421
00:19:04,610 --> 00:19:08,419
I can kind of be a jerk when
people tell me what to do.
422
00:19:08,420 --> 00:19:10,409
Especially when they're right.
423
00:19:10,410 --> 00:19:12,619
Well, I-I'm kind of the same way.
424
00:19:12,620 --> 00:19:13,939
Except I'm usually right,
425
00:19:13,940 --> 00:19:16,789
so it's not that big
of a problem for me.
426
00:19:16,790 --> 00:19:18,560
Hey, Tom, don't be petty.
427
00:19:20,280 --> 00:19:21,640
No?
428
00:19:22,420 --> 00:19:25,049
Look, guys...
429
00:19:25,050 --> 00:19:27,000
when I watched my ex-husband
430
00:19:27,020 --> 00:19:28,429
run our business into the ground,
431
00:19:28,430 --> 00:19:31,889
I swore I would never let
a man steamroll me again.
432
00:19:31,890 --> 00:19:35,229
I mean, I love hanging out
with you guys, but I'm...
433
00:19:35,230 --> 00:19:37,059
sick of being condescended to.
434
00:19:37,060 --> 00:19:38,859
I'm sick of being ignored,
435
00:19:38,860 --> 00:19:40,299
- I'm sick of being...
- Margaret...
436
00:19:40,300 --> 00:19:43,240
I'm sick of being interrupted.
437
00:19:44,300 --> 00:19:47,199
It's not the 1950s, you guys.
438
00:19:47,200 --> 00:19:50,240
Times have changed, and
you have to change, too.
439
00:19:50,300 --> 00:19:52,419
I'm not saying you have to
agree with me all the time,
440
00:19:52,420 --> 00:19:54,370
but I need to be heard.
441
00:19:54,420 --> 00:19:56,579
Well, Margaret, you know what they say.
442
00:19:56,580 --> 00:19:59,499
Men are from Mars, and women are from...
443
00:19:59,500 --> 00:20:01,980
Well, my mother was from Philadelphia,
444
00:20:02,000 --> 00:20:04,000
- but she grew up in a small...
- Charlie. Charlie.
445
00:20:04,780 --> 00:20:07,929
We were stupid to not listen to you.
446
00:20:07,930 --> 00:20:11,600
Yeah, and if your ex didn't
listen to you, he's stupid, too.
447
00:20:12,980 --> 00:20:14,540
You know, if we all pitch in,
448
00:20:14,550 --> 00:20:17,480
it's not too late to
finish that cookie order.
449
00:20:19,060 --> 00:20:20,770
What do you say, boss?
450
00:20:20,840 --> 00:20:25,220
What do I say? What do I say?
451
00:20:26,540 --> 00:20:28,320
♪ Lookee, lookee ♪
452
00:20:28,380 --> 00:20:30,779
♪ We got us a cookie ♪
453
00:20:30,780 --> 00:20:32,619
♪ Lookee, lookee ♪
454
00:20:32,620 --> 00:20:34,909
♪ We got us a cookie ♪
455
00:20:34,910 --> 00:20:36,539
♪ Lookee, lookee ♪
456
00:20:36,540 --> 00:20:38,369
♪ We got us a cookie ♪
457
00:20:38,370 --> 00:20:40,250
♪ Lookee, lookee ♪
458
00:20:40,260 --> 00:20:41,720
♪ We got us a cookie ♪
459
00:20:41,740 --> 00:20:43,028
Remix!
460
00:20:44,670 --> 00:20:46,009
♪ Lookee, lookee, lookee... ♪
461
00:20:46,010 --> 00:20:47,840
Hey.
462
00:20:49,040 --> 00:20:52,220
What the hell did you
do to my apartment?
463
00:20:53,240 --> 00:20:55,690
Edie, you're home early.
464
00:20:55,700 --> 00:20:57,230
How was Mulan?
465
00:20:58,060 --> 00:21:01,189
I'm gonna be honest with you.
466
00:21:01,190 --> 00:21:03,940
Edie, I completely forgot
467
00:21:03,980 --> 00:21:06,160
to water your plants.
468
00:21:07,360 --> 00:21:09,990
Feel free to help
yourself to some cookies.
469
00:21:11,120 --> 00:21:14,080
And if you find any change
in this chair, it's mine.
470
00:21:14,420 --> 00:21:17,050
♪ Lookee, lookee ♪
471
00:21:17,070 --> 00:21:19,159
♪ We got us a cookie ♪
472
00:21:19,160 --> 00:21:20,789
♪ Lookee, lookee ♪
473
00:21:20,790 --> 00:21:22,789
♪ We got us a cookie ♪
474
00:21:22,790 --> 00:21:24,339
♪ Lookee, lookee ♪
475
00:21:24,340 --> 00:21:26,289
♪ We got us a cookie. ♪
476
00:21:26,290 --> 00:21:30,260
- Synced & corrected by MementMori -
-- www.addic7ed.com --
476
00:21:31,305 --> 00:21:37,516
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