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1
00:00:05,805 --> 00:00:06,772
Well, gee, Becky,
2
00:00:06,840 --> 00:00:08,273
What kind of person
takes a job
3
00:00:08,341 --> 00:00:12,344
Without finding out if they'd
get off for Halloween first?
4
00:00:12,412 --> 00:00:15,781
Well, can't Mark
call in sick?
5
00:00:15,849 --> 00:00:17,349
What do you mean,
"that's lying"?
6
00:00:17,417 --> 00:00:20,452
Where were you raised?
7
00:00:20,520 --> 00:00:22,421
No, I don't want him
to get fired.
8
00:00:24,891 --> 00:00:27,693
Well, maybe next year, then.
9
00:00:27,761 --> 00:00:29,461
Yeah. Me, too.
10
00:00:29,529 --> 00:00:31,363
Bye.
11
00:00:33,299 --> 00:00:35,701
[humming]
12
00:00:39,439 --> 00:00:40,372
Hey Jackie.
13
00:00:40,440 --> 00:00:41,707
Hi. Happy Halloween.
14
00:00:41,775 --> 00:00:43,409
Listen, your mom's
really bummed out,
15
00:00:43,476 --> 00:00:46,378
And I'm gonna try
and help her get back
her Halloween spirit.
16
00:00:46,446 --> 00:00:47,312
You want to help?
17
00:00:47,380 --> 00:00:48,380
Not interested.
18
00:00:48,448 --> 00:00:49,715
I'd give you 20 bucks.
19
00:00:49,783 --> 00:00:51,016
Interested.
20
00:00:51,084 --> 00:00:52,418
Okay. Here's the plan.
21
00:00:52,485 --> 00:00:54,920
Now, we just want
to get a rise out of her.
22
00:00:54,988 --> 00:00:56,655
So one thing that
usually always--
23
00:00:56,723 --> 00:00:59,491
Please, Jackie, I think
I know how to scare my mother.
24
00:00:59,559 --> 00:01:02,361
Hi.
Happy Halloween.
25
00:01:02,429 --> 00:01:05,230
Did you see
the great pumpkin
last night?
26
00:01:05,298 --> 00:01:09,134
No.
Dan wore pajamas.
27
00:01:09,202 --> 00:01:10,903
Hey, Roseanne,
did you see that
28
00:01:10,970 --> 00:01:14,039
Evidently in Nebraska,
where they grow corn
29
00:01:14,107 --> 00:01:18,010
For...Uh,
various corn products,
30
00:01:18,078 --> 00:01:19,812
There has been
a rash of farmers
31
00:01:19,879 --> 00:01:22,181
Losing body parts
in threshing machines.
32
00:01:26,052 --> 00:01:27,119
[gasp]
33
00:01:27,187 --> 00:01:28,854
Oh, my god,
that's an ear!
34
00:01:33,893 --> 00:01:36,695
Give it up,
Jackie.
35
00:01:36,763 --> 00:01:40,299
Aw, man.
Oh, Jackie?
36
00:01:40,367 --> 00:01:43,469
What did you do
with the inside
of the pumpkin?
37
00:01:43,536 --> 00:01:45,504
I put it down
the garbage disposal.
38
00:01:45,572 --> 00:01:47,172
That wasn't good?
39
00:01:47,240 --> 00:01:49,441
Oh, no, Jackie,
that wasn't good.
40
00:01:51,611 --> 00:01:54,947
Oh, man! Ugh.
41
00:01:55,015 --> 00:01:56,749
Turn that light on,
will ya?
42
00:01:56,816 --> 00:01:58,217
[disposal whirring]
aah!
43
00:01:58,284 --> 00:02:00,319
Aah! Oh, my god!
Oh, my god, Roseanne, help!
44
00:02:00,387 --> 00:02:02,087
[screaming]
45
00:02:02,155 --> 00:02:06,792
Oh, my god, Dan!
Oh, my god!
46
00:03:44,758 --> 00:03:47,326
You want to hand me
that towel there?
47
00:03:54,134 --> 00:03:55,401
Thanks.
48
00:03:59,305 --> 00:04:01,340
You gonna be okay, honey?
49
00:04:01,408 --> 00:04:03,442
Let me put it this way.
50
00:04:04,711 --> 00:04:06,145
Aw, come on, Rosie.
51
00:04:06,212 --> 00:04:08,681
I built that
great costume for us.
52
00:04:08,748 --> 00:04:10,983
You'll play a few tasteless
pranks on people.
53
00:04:11,051 --> 00:04:13,352
Everything'll be fine
once we get down
to the lodge party.
54
00:04:13,420 --> 00:04:15,988
Mmm, I ain't goin'.
55
00:04:16,056 --> 00:04:18,290
What?
This is our special day.
56
00:04:18,358 --> 00:04:20,059
I mean, I know you're
upset about Becky, but--
57
00:04:20,126 --> 00:04:22,494
It's not just Becky,
it's everything.
58
00:04:22,562 --> 00:04:24,463
After what we've
been through this year,
59
00:04:24,531 --> 00:04:28,567
I just don't feel like
puttin' on some stupid
costume and partyin'.
60
00:04:28,635 --> 00:04:31,170
Say it ain't so, Rose.
61
00:04:31,237 --> 00:04:34,373
I don't know,
just all of a sudden...
62
00:04:34,441 --> 00:04:36,542
Mooning the retirement home
63
00:04:36,609 --> 00:04:39,411
And stuffing dead fish
through people's mail slots
64
00:04:39,479 --> 00:04:41,980
Just seems
somehow childish.
65
00:04:47,721 --> 00:04:49,822
[laughing]
66
00:04:50,990 --> 00:04:53,559
I know what you're doing.
67
00:04:53,626 --> 00:04:55,694
What the hell
are you talkin' about?
68
00:04:55,762 --> 00:04:57,396
Ah, man, this
is gonna be big.
69
00:04:57,464 --> 00:05:00,299
So what's it gonna be,
like a prank
on the whole lodge?
70
00:05:00,367 --> 00:05:03,302
Don't tell me.
I want to be surprised.
71
00:05:03,370 --> 00:05:06,372
Oh, please let me
tell you, Dan.
72
00:05:06,439 --> 00:05:08,140
All right,
all right, tell me.
73
00:05:08,208 --> 00:05:11,944
No, don't tell me.
Okay, tell me.
74
00:05:12,012 --> 00:05:14,313
Okay, here's a hint.
75
00:05:14,381 --> 00:05:20,219
Um, it starts off with you
being really disappointed.
76
00:05:20,286 --> 00:05:23,856
Oh, darn, I gave
away the ending.
77
00:05:23,923 --> 00:05:25,924
Okay, I believe you.
78
00:05:28,194 --> 00:05:29,428
Give me another hint.
79
00:05:43,743 --> 00:05:45,511
How do I look?
80
00:05:47,514 --> 00:05:51,216
Well, it's nice to see you
in a skirt for a change.
81
00:05:52,919 --> 00:05:54,253
All right,
i'm out of here.
82
00:05:54,320 --> 00:05:56,655
Hey, hey, hey, wait, your
brother's in the kitchen.
83
00:05:56,723 --> 00:05:58,323
He needs a ride.
84
00:05:58,391 --> 00:05:59,491
[sighs]
85
00:06:01,828 --> 00:06:03,796
[knock on door]
86
00:06:11,371 --> 00:06:13,272
Trick or treat.
87
00:06:13,340 --> 00:06:14,707
All right, all right.
88
00:06:14,774 --> 00:06:19,411
Man, you guys are real scary.
I'm sure scared here.
89
00:06:19,479 --> 00:06:21,380
Okay, happy Halloween.
90
00:06:21,448 --> 00:06:23,015
Nice night. See ya.
91
00:06:31,191 --> 00:06:33,158
How come he can't
just get there by himself?
92
00:06:33,226 --> 00:06:34,760
'cause you're his big sister.
93
00:06:34,828 --> 00:06:36,495
You're gonna drive
him over there,
94
00:06:36,563 --> 00:06:40,799
You're gonna wheel him in,
and then you're gonna
lean him against a wall.
95
00:06:40,867 --> 00:06:42,768
Fine.
Then I'm out of there.
96
00:06:42,836 --> 00:06:44,303
How am I gonna get home?
97
00:06:44,371 --> 00:06:47,239
Your dad'll pick you
up after the lodge party.
98
00:06:47,307 --> 00:06:48,974
Okay.
Let me here your line.
99
00:06:49,042 --> 00:06:53,412
I ate his liver with some
fava beans and nice chianti.
100
00:06:55,482 --> 00:06:57,316
Perfect. Let's go.
101
00:06:58,852 --> 00:07:00,352
And remember, Darlene,
102
00:07:00,420 --> 00:07:03,789
When you put him
in the back seat, face up.
103
00:07:19,005 --> 00:07:20,439
[knock on door]
104
00:07:21,775 --> 00:07:23,609
[knocking]
105
00:07:31,084 --> 00:07:34,219
Whoa.
What grade are you in?
106
00:07:34,287 --> 00:07:37,556
[echoing voice]
I am the ghost
of Halloween past.
107
00:07:38,825 --> 00:07:41,460
Okay,
here's your snickers.
108
00:07:50,503 --> 00:07:53,806
Do not toy with me,
Roseanne conner.
109
00:07:53,873 --> 00:07:55,941
How the hell
did you get in here?
110
00:07:56,009 --> 00:07:59,912
Tonight, the ghosts of halloween
past, present, and future
111
00:07:59,979 --> 00:08:03,682
Will come to renew in you the
joys of the Halloween spirit.
112
00:08:03,750 --> 00:08:06,452
You must come with me...Now.
113
00:08:06,519 --> 00:08:09,254
Who's under that sheet?
Is that you fisher?
114
00:08:09,322 --> 00:08:12,891
Do not look
under the sheet!
115
00:08:12,959 --> 00:08:15,227
Well, you want me
to go with you, right?
116
00:08:15,295 --> 00:08:17,196
How do I know that
you really are some
117
00:08:17,263 --> 00:08:19,732
Evil and terrifying spirit
from beyond the grave
118
00:08:19,799 --> 00:08:24,203
And not just some ordinary
creep, huh, casper?
119
00:08:24,270 --> 00:08:27,106
Okay.
Look under the sheet.
120
00:08:31,177 --> 00:08:35,347
[laughter]
121
00:08:38,885 --> 00:08:40,853
I'll get my purse.
122
00:08:42,622 --> 00:08:44,556
I want to know where
you're taking me.
123
00:08:44,624 --> 00:08:48,894
You must travel back
to where it all began.
124
00:08:48,962 --> 00:08:50,529
[sigh]
okay.
125
00:08:59,439 --> 00:09:02,374
Wow. Cool trick.
126
00:09:02,442 --> 00:09:04,977
You are now
at the center of all time.
127
00:09:05,045 --> 00:09:08,280
You must travel back
39 years.
128
00:09:08,348 --> 00:09:11,784
Well, I hope you have
a tram or somethin'.
129
00:09:15,221 --> 00:09:16,622
As you shall see,
130
00:09:16,690 --> 00:09:21,160
The spirit of Halloween
was with you from birth.
131
00:09:21,227 --> 00:09:25,631
Hey, that's me in my
little bassinette.
132
00:09:25,699 --> 00:09:29,435
There's mom
hovering over me.
133
00:09:29,502 --> 00:09:31,603
You know, until I was
about 1, I thought
134
00:09:31,671 --> 00:09:35,641
She was just some
huge, annoying mobile.
135
00:09:35,709 --> 00:09:37,476
Lookit,
i'm in my bunny suit.
136
00:09:37,544 --> 00:09:40,145
I hated
that bunny suit.
137
00:09:40,213 --> 00:09:43,782
You love your little
bunny suit, don't you?
138
00:09:43,850 --> 00:09:46,885
Yes.
139
00:09:46,953 --> 00:09:51,423
Your first Halloween.
It's such a happy holiday,
140
00:09:51,491 --> 00:09:55,427
Full of magic
and make-believe.
141
00:09:55,495 --> 00:09:59,164
Man, she wasn't even
cool for the '50s.
142
00:10:00,867 --> 00:10:02,201
Rosie?
143
00:10:02,268 --> 00:10:03,202
[baby choking]
144
00:10:03,269 --> 00:10:04,236
Sweetheart.
145
00:10:04,304 --> 00:10:05,270
[baby coughing]
146
00:10:05,338 --> 00:10:07,639
Roseanne,
are you all right?
147
00:10:07,707 --> 00:10:10,442
Roseanne!
Oh, my goodness.
148
00:10:10,510 --> 00:10:12,544
Al?
She's not breathing.
149
00:10:12,612 --> 00:10:16,048
She's turning blue.
Al, call the doctor!
150
00:10:16,116 --> 00:10:18,884
Al!
151
00:10:18,952 --> 00:10:21,987
[baby laughing]
152
00:10:22,055 --> 00:10:26,792
Though crude, this early prank
laid the foundation
153
00:10:26,860 --> 00:10:28,961
For a brilliant career.
154
00:10:40,240 --> 00:10:41,807
You shouldn't
eat that, Jackie.
155
00:10:41,875 --> 00:10:44,343
Hey, you're not
the boss of me, Roseanne.
156
00:10:44,411 --> 00:10:46,879
[laughs]
oh, right.
157
00:10:48,948 --> 00:10:50,816
Why shouldn't I eat it?
158
00:10:50,884 --> 00:10:55,254
Well, everybody knows
they put poison
and razor blades in those.
159
00:10:55,321 --> 00:10:57,456
Better give it to me.
160
00:10:57,524 --> 00:11:00,159
That's stupid.
That's not really true.
161
00:11:01,728 --> 00:11:03,595
See? It's okay.
162
00:11:03,663 --> 00:11:07,433
Well, I guess
you're right.
163
00:11:10,103 --> 00:11:11,737
Aah!
164
00:11:14,207 --> 00:11:15,607
Ha ha ha ha ha!
165
00:11:17,811 --> 00:11:19,678
You know what
the best part was?
166
00:11:19,746 --> 00:11:22,314
I used to sell that candy
back to her later.
167
00:11:31,024 --> 00:11:32,791
[big band]
168
00:11:32,859 --> 00:11:36,362
And how could you forget,
it was Halloween
169
00:11:36,429 --> 00:11:39,798
That brought a kindred
spirit into your life?
170
00:11:39,866 --> 00:11:40,833
Hey, Roseanne.
171
00:11:42,702 --> 00:11:45,838
Hi, cindy,
how's it going?
172
00:11:45,905 --> 00:11:47,673
So what are you
supposed to be?
173
00:11:47,741 --> 00:11:50,542
Oh, i'm Ginger
from Gilligan's Island,
174
00:11:50,610 --> 00:11:53,345
You know, if they
never found the island.
175
00:11:53,413 --> 00:11:54,446
What are you?
176
00:11:54,514 --> 00:11:56,248
I'm a princess.
177
00:11:56,316 --> 00:11:58,217
Oh, a princess.
I get it.
178
00:12:00,320 --> 00:12:02,121
This is my date,
Dan conner.
179
00:12:02,188 --> 00:12:04,556
How's it going?
180
00:12:04,624 --> 00:12:07,693
Oh, yeah. Ginger if they
didn't find the island.
181
00:12:07,761 --> 00:12:09,028
Great costume.
182
00:12:09,095 --> 00:12:10,496
Thanks.
183
00:12:10,563 --> 00:12:15,634
So, Roseanne, uh, why
aren't you dancing tonight?
184
00:12:15,702 --> 00:12:17,202
Oh, I didn't feel
like it.
185
00:12:17,270 --> 00:12:19,371
I'm just running
the apple bob.
186
00:12:19,439 --> 00:12:21,140
Come on, cindy,
give it a try.
187
00:12:21,207 --> 00:12:23,642
I'll
let you go free.
188
00:12:23,710 --> 00:12:27,746
Well, all right.
Hold this.
189
00:12:32,552 --> 00:12:35,688
What do you give me
to hold her there
a couple minutes?
190
00:12:39,459 --> 00:12:41,326
[laughing]
what's so funny?
191
00:12:41,394 --> 00:12:42,361
[Dan]
hee hee hee hee!
192
00:12:42,429 --> 00:12:44,196
Oh, my god!
193
00:12:44,264 --> 00:12:46,198
Gee, Cindy,
why so blue?
194
00:12:51,304 --> 00:12:53,105
Do you really not
want to dance?
195
00:12:53,173 --> 00:12:55,774
Depends.
196
00:13:07,354 --> 00:13:10,923
Oh, he never knew
what hit him.
197
00:13:10,990 --> 00:13:13,559
And so, Roseanne conner,
198
00:13:13,626 --> 00:13:16,161
We have seen the importance
of the Halloween spirit
199
00:13:16,229 --> 00:13:17,363
You have since abandoned,
200
00:13:17,430 --> 00:13:19,865
And now we must return.
201
00:13:19,933 --> 00:13:22,568
Well, wait, there's other
stuff I want to see,
202
00:13:22,635 --> 00:13:24,970
Like, uh, this one time,
I took this coonskin cap,
203
00:13:25,038 --> 00:13:26,672
And I put it
on my skateboard,
204
00:13:26,740 --> 00:13:28,607
And i'd push it out
into traffic,
205
00:13:28,675 --> 00:13:30,476
And yell,
"look out for my dog!"
206
00:13:30,543 --> 00:13:31,643
[laughs]
207
00:13:31,711 --> 00:13:33,345
I'd love to see
that twice.
208
00:13:33,413 --> 00:13:34,980
Ha ha ha ha ha!
209
00:13:45,125 --> 00:13:46,859
[knock on door]
210
00:13:51,931 --> 00:13:53,766
It was only a dream.
211
00:13:59,539 --> 00:14:03,075
I am the ghost
of Halloween present.
212
00:14:04,377 --> 00:14:05,611
No, you're not.
213
00:14:05,679 --> 00:14:08,614
You're some great big
piece of candy corn.
214
00:14:08,682 --> 00:14:10,949
Geez, I get this
all the time.
215
00:14:11,017 --> 00:14:12,351
Look, i'm a symbol
of Halloween.
216
00:14:12,419 --> 00:14:14,820
Halloween, candy corn,
end of story, let's go.
217
00:14:14,888 --> 00:14:17,523
Okay, but I hope
nobody sees us together
218
00:14:17,590 --> 00:14:19,558
'cause i'm supposed
to be on slim fast.
219
00:14:23,530 --> 00:14:25,130
it was a graveyard smash
220
00:14:25,198 --> 00:14:26,632
he did the mash
221
00:14:26,700 --> 00:14:28,300
it caught on in a flash
222
00:14:28,368 --> 00:14:29,902
he did the mash
223
00:14:29,969 --> 00:14:31,737
we did the monster mash
224
00:14:36,309 --> 00:14:39,011
I'm sorry, Jackie. I'm not
going in the ladies' room.
225
00:14:39,079 --> 00:14:40,612
You're just gonna
have to hold it.
226
00:14:40,680 --> 00:14:42,014
I got to go sometime,
Dan.
227
00:14:42,082 --> 00:14:44,149
Maybe you should just try
slowing down at the bar.
228
00:14:44,217 --> 00:14:46,151
Don't tell me
what to do, Dan,
229
00:14:46,219 --> 00:14:48,253
I'm doin' you a favor
just wearing this thing.
230
00:14:48,321 --> 00:14:51,990
Oh yeah, like i'm sure
the real marie antoinette
drank so much beer.
231
00:14:58,765 --> 00:15:00,032
So this is it?
232
00:15:00,100 --> 00:15:01,867
You bring me
to the lodge?
233
00:15:01,935 --> 00:15:06,205
Isn't there anything
about my life I could
learn...In hawaii?
234
00:15:06,272 --> 00:15:08,273
Just watch and learn.
235
00:15:08,341 --> 00:15:10,376
No, i'm not gonna
let you see Fisher.
236
00:15:10,443 --> 00:15:13,645
You're gonna get ticked
off if he's talking
to that indian girl.
237
00:15:13,713 --> 00:15:14,780
Fine, then angle me
towards the punch.
238
00:15:14,848 --> 00:15:18,250
[growling]
239
00:15:18,318 --> 00:15:19,485
Well?
240
00:15:19,552 --> 00:15:20,719
Oh.
241
00:15:28,795 --> 00:15:31,230
Ah.
242
00:15:31,297 --> 00:15:33,265
Hey, honey, havin' fun?
243
00:15:33,333 --> 00:15:35,300
Oh, I love being wedged
under dan's armpit
244
00:15:35,368 --> 00:15:38,037
While you're hanging out
with Pocahontas over there.
245
00:15:38,104 --> 00:15:39,471
She just came up
to say hello.
246
00:15:39,539 --> 00:15:41,040
What was I supposed
to do, be rude?
247
00:15:41,107 --> 00:15:46,979
You know that this plays
with a lot of trust
issues that I have.
248
00:15:47,047 --> 00:15:49,014
This is about
last night, isn't it?
249
00:15:49,082 --> 00:15:50,883
All I said
was I love you.
250
00:15:50,950 --> 00:15:53,786
But it doesn't count
if you say it during sex.
251
00:15:53,853 --> 00:15:56,055
What difference does
it make when I say it?
252
00:15:56,122 --> 00:15:57,956
Because you're completely
out of control.
You'd say anything.
253
00:15:58,024 --> 00:16:00,826
Do you want to know
some of the other things
that you said?
254
00:16:00,894 --> 00:16:02,227
Hey, guys,
can I say something?
255
00:16:02,295 --> 00:16:03,896
Dan, do you mind?
This is private!
256
00:16:08,902 --> 00:16:10,569
Who wants
to shake my hand?
257
00:16:10,637 --> 00:16:13,839
Aw, come on, somebody
wants to shake it.
258
00:16:13,907 --> 00:16:16,241
[buzz]
259
00:16:16,309 --> 00:16:17,209
Whoa! Whoa!
260
00:16:17,344 --> 00:16:19,044
It's called a joy buzzer.
261
00:16:19,112 --> 00:16:20,946
That was just me
playing a prank.
262
00:16:21,014 --> 00:16:23,015
You know how roseanne's always
playing Halloween pranks.
263
00:16:23,083 --> 00:16:24,750
Well, that
was one of mine.
264
00:16:24,818 --> 00:16:25,884
That was a Halloween prank.
265
00:16:25,952 --> 00:16:26,919
Got it, Crystal.
266
00:16:26,986 --> 00:16:29,088
She do the
joy buzzer thing?
267
00:16:29,155 --> 00:16:32,358
[buzz]
268
00:16:32,425 --> 00:16:34,660
Ah, I sure
do miss Roseanne.
269
00:16:34,728 --> 00:16:35,828
Me, too.
270
00:16:35,895 --> 00:16:37,329
I thought she'd
be here by now.
271
00:16:37,397 --> 00:16:39,598
Doesn't feel like
Halloween without her.
272
00:16:39,666 --> 00:16:42,568
So is this the part where
i'm supposed to get all weepy
273
00:16:42,635 --> 00:16:45,104
And say I wish I would've
gone to the party?
274
00:16:45,171 --> 00:16:47,539
No. Don't you get it?
275
00:16:47,607 --> 00:16:49,942
You've ruined the holiday
for all your friends.
276
00:16:50,010 --> 00:16:51,310
They need you.
277
00:16:51,378 --> 00:16:53,912
On the other hand, at least
we don't have to eat
278
00:16:53,980 --> 00:16:57,850
Those godawful
pumpkin cookies she makes.
279
00:16:57,917 --> 00:16:59,284
Boy, she bakes once a year.
280
00:16:59,352 --> 00:17:01,020
You'd think it wouldn't
taste like grout.
281
00:17:01,087 --> 00:17:02,654
Hey!
282
00:17:02,722 --> 00:17:04,857
And you know, some
of those pranks of hers,
283
00:17:04,924 --> 00:17:06,458
They aren't even funny,
they're just plain mean.
284
00:17:06,526 --> 00:17:08,961
Yeah, but you
have to laugh
like they're funny,
285
00:17:09,029 --> 00:17:11,630
Or she throws a tantrum,
acts like a baby.
286
00:17:11,698 --> 00:17:14,400
I do not!
Defend me, Dan!
287
00:17:14,467 --> 00:17:18,337
Hey, live with the woman.
288
00:17:18,405 --> 00:17:19,772
Oh, i'm telling you.
289
00:17:24,277 --> 00:17:28,080
Hey, what is this
supposed to teach me?
290
00:17:28,148 --> 00:17:30,149
I'm sorry, you weren't
supposed to hear that.
291
00:17:30,216 --> 00:17:32,117
Well, time's up,
let's go.
292
00:17:32,185 --> 00:17:33,719
No, wait a minute.
293
00:17:33,787 --> 00:17:36,522
You think I was so hard
to live with before, buddy,
294
00:17:36,589 --> 00:17:37,890
Just wait 'til you get home.
295
00:17:37,957 --> 00:17:40,059
He can't hear you.
296
00:17:40,126 --> 00:17:41,894
Oh yeah?
Dan!
297
00:17:41,961 --> 00:17:45,731
Woo, anybody else
get a chill?
298
00:17:48,435 --> 00:17:50,102
[knock on door]
299
00:18:00,880 --> 00:18:03,782
I am the ghost
of Halloween future.
300
00:18:03,850 --> 00:18:07,152
Oh. Okay.
301
00:18:07,220 --> 00:18:08,253
Come with me.
302
00:18:08,321 --> 00:18:10,022
Where
are you taking me?
303
00:18:10,090 --> 00:18:12,691
You are there.
304
00:18:12,759 --> 00:18:16,161
You have already stepped
into the future.
305
00:18:16,229 --> 00:18:18,163
Now you must see
what will happen
306
00:18:18,231 --> 00:18:23,202
If you continue to deny
the Halloween spirit.
307
00:18:23,269 --> 00:18:26,338
Remember when this used
to be the coolest house
on Halloween?
308
00:18:26,406 --> 00:18:29,408
Yeah. Before Mrs. Conner
went through the change.
309
00:18:34,681 --> 00:18:39,151
Happy Halloween, boys.
310
00:18:39,219 --> 00:18:40,819
Trick or treat!
311
00:18:43,456 --> 00:18:45,758
Wow. Mini-tooth paste.
312
00:18:45,825 --> 00:18:48,560
And floss.
313
00:18:48,695 --> 00:18:49,862
Now, you boys remember
314
00:18:49,929 --> 00:18:53,132
That Halloween is a holiday
of fun and treats,
315
00:18:53,199 --> 00:18:55,401
Not a celebration of satan.
316
00:18:58,405 --> 00:18:59,371
[oven bell rings]
317
00:18:59,439 --> 00:19:02,441
Excuse me, my game hens
are ready.
318
00:19:05,979 --> 00:19:08,213
Man,
what happened to me?
319
00:19:08,281 --> 00:19:11,650
Come.
You must see it all.
320
00:19:15,422 --> 00:19:20,159
Remember, Darlene, there
is nothing like a game hen
321
00:19:20,226 --> 00:19:23,629
For Halloween to really
please your man.
322
00:19:23,697 --> 00:19:27,333
Yeah, i'm chopping
vegetables, mom,
just like you taught me.
323
00:19:29,202 --> 00:19:30,736
Oh, my goodness, Darlene!
324
00:19:33,606 --> 00:19:37,009
See?
It's just a joke, mom.
325
00:19:37,077 --> 00:19:40,479
Remember? Jokes?
326
00:19:40,547 --> 00:19:43,349
Darlene, there are
people on this earth
327
00:19:43,416 --> 00:19:44,983
Who have chopped off
their arms
328
00:19:45,051 --> 00:19:48,053
Who would not find that
at all amusing!
329
00:19:48,121 --> 00:19:51,090
Roseanne,
i'm leaving you.
330
00:19:51,157 --> 00:19:55,260
But why? Didn't I keep
the house clean enough?
331
00:19:55,328 --> 00:19:56,595
Wasn't I a good cook?
332
00:19:56,663 --> 00:20:01,567
It's not that. It's just
that...You bore me.
333
00:20:01,634 --> 00:20:03,736
Don't leave me, Dan.
334
00:20:03,803 --> 00:20:07,373
I try the best I can,
but i'm only a woman.
335
00:20:07,440 --> 00:20:10,943
Aw, god, Dan,
leave her.
Leave her.
336
00:20:11,011 --> 00:20:16,148
But, Dan, Dan, do you
have enough socks?
337
00:20:16,216 --> 00:20:18,951
[car door slams]
338
00:20:19,019 --> 00:20:21,920
Oh, my god, i've become
what I hate most.
339
00:20:21,988 --> 00:20:24,356
Not yet.
340
00:20:24,424 --> 00:20:26,558
You must go farther
into the future
341
00:20:26,626 --> 00:20:28,660
To see where this path
will lead you.
342
00:20:28,728 --> 00:20:31,196
I don't want to.
343
00:20:31,264 --> 00:20:35,534
You grew to be an
elderly divorced woman
344
00:20:35,602 --> 00:20:37,036
Living with
your spinster sister.
345
00:20:37,103 --> 00:20:42,841
Oh, my god, i'm living
with Jackie?
346
00:20:42,909 --> 00:20:44,576
I don't want
to see any more.
347
00:20:46,613 --> 00:20:49,948
Come on, Roseanne.
We don't want to be late.
348
00:20:50,016 --> 00:20:53,852
All right, Jackie,
i'm all set.
349
00:20:53,920 --> 00:20:55,220
Why is my mother here?
350
00:20:55,288 --> 00:20:58,490
That's not
your mother,
Roseanne.
351
00:20:58,558 --> 00:21:00,025
That's you.
352
00:21:02,028 --> 00:21:08,033
Aah!
353
00:21:12,472 --> 00:21:15,641
Thank god,
there's still time!
354
00:21:22,182 --> 00:21:23,649
I'm sorry.
355
00:21:23,717 --> 00:21:24,650
I'm sorry, too.
356
00:21:29,823 --> 00:21:31,890
Rosie, thank god!
357
00:21:31,958 --> 00:21:32,958
Roseanne.
358
00:21:33,026 --> 00:21:35,761
Yeah, hey, everybody.
Ha ha ha!
359
00:21:35,829 --> 00:21:38,263
Well, I just couldn't
stay home one more second
360
00:21:38,331 --> 00:21:40,466
Feelin' sorry for myself
when I knew that all
361
00:21:40,533 --> 00:21:42,801
You guys were down here
missing me so much,
362
00:21:42,869 --> 00:21:46,105
Saying such really, really,
nice things about me.
363
00:21:46,172 --> 00:21:49,341
Yeah, you know how much
we love you, honey.
364
00:21:49,409 --> 00:21:50,909
Yeah. You know, Crystal,
365
00:21:50,977 --> 00:21:55,347
I brought a whole trunkload
of my pumpkin cookies for you.
366
00:21:56,950 --> 00:21:59,284
And i've got somethin'
for you later, Dan.
367
00:22:01,988 --> 00:22:03,856
Well, i'm so glad
you came, Roseanne.
368
00:22:03,923 --> 00:22:05,124
Want to shake my hand?
369
00:22:05,191 --> 00:22:07,059
Oh, i'll do that later.
370
00:22:07,127 --> 00:22:09,261
But first I want
to show you all my torch.
371
00:22:09,329 --> 00:22:10,295
Anybody got a light?
372
00:22:11,765 --> 00:22:14,767
So, uh, this
the whole thing?
373
00:22:14,834 --> 00:22:16,335
This is what we've
been waitin' for?
374
00:22:16,403 --> 00:22:20,673
Oh, no, Dan, no.
375
00:22:20,740 --> 00:22:23,575
This is what you've
been waitin' for.
376
00:22:23,643 --> 00:22:26,645
[alarm sounding]
377
00:22:29,849 --> 00:22:32,117
Happy Halloween!
378
00:22:42,929 --> 00:22:44,463
Turn that light on,
will you?
379
00:22:44,531 --> 00:22:46,198
[disposal whirring]
aah!
380
00:22:46,266 --> 00:22:47,333
Oh, my god!
381
00:22:47,400 --> 00:22:48,400
Roseanne! Help!
382
00:22:48,468 --> 00:22:50,002
Oh, Dan! Oh, my god!
383
00:22:50,070 --> 00:22:54,840
Oh, Roseanne!
Oh, my god!
384
00:23:02,015 --> 00:23:04,283
Handball?
385
00:23:08,455 --> 00:23:09,455
[man]
clear!
386
00:23:09,522 --> 00:23:12,191
Stump the band?
387
00:23:12,258 --> 00:23:15,194
36736
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