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1
00:00:04,771 --> 00:00:07,272
[video game blasting]
2
00:00:07,340 --> 00:00:09,775
Hyah!
Hyah!
3
00:00:09,843 --> 00:00:11,844
Ooh-hah!
4
00:00:14,214 --> 00:00:17,649
That was fun.
You're a way better
babysitter than Darlene.
5
00:00:17,717 --> 00:00:20,552
Oh, yeah?
Yeah, you let me
out of my room.
6
00:00:22,355 --> 00:00:25,591
Hey, I love these games.
We used to play them
all the time back in iowa.
7
00:00:25,658 --> 00:00:28,727
Without
electricity?
What?
8
00:00:30,263 --> 00:00:32,998
Darlene says there's
no electricity or lights
where you come from,
9
00:00:33,066 --> 00:00:36,001
But that's okay,
'cause you can't
read anyway.
10
00:00:37,637 --> 00:00:39,772
Oh, yeah? Well,
what else did she say?
11
00:00:39,839 --> 00:00:41,974
You guys keep live
chickens in your kitchen
12
00:00:42,042 --> 00:00:44,043
And kill them with
your bare hands.
13
00:00:44,110 --> 00:00:46,612
Oh, really?
Yeah,
14
00:00:46,680 --> 00:00:48,614
But there's one part
I don't get.
15
00:00:48,682 --> 00:00:51,717
How can someone's sister
be their mom?
16
00:00:54,421 --> 00:00:56,355
Hey.
Hey.
17
00:00:56,423 --> 00:00:58,157
Hi, Molly.
Hi, David.
18
00:01:00,093 --> 00:01:02,027
You can go now.
19
00:01:02,095 --> 00:01:05,364
Okay. Just tell your mom
she can pay me tomorrow.
20
00:01:05,432 --> 00:01:09,335
Oh, you didn't get
the money up front?
Well, you'll learn.
21
00:01:09,402 --> 00:01:11,804
[southern accent]
well, she better pay,
'cause we're savin' up
22
00:01:11,871 --> 00:01:15,107
So we can get us one of
them talkin' picture boxes.
23
00:01:15,175 --> 00:01:19,611
Excuse me?
Oh, you know, now that
we got 'lectricity.
24
00:01:22,816 --> 00:01:24,783
Bye-bye, now.
25
00:01:24,851 --> 00:01:27,619
Why, thank you, David.
Sleep tight.
26
00:01:32,258 --> 00:01:35,461
You're about to
become a strange smell
in the attic.
27
00:01:40,333 --> 00:01:43,902
What are you
smiling about?
Nothing.
28
00:01:43,970 --> 00:01:46,372
Oh, come on.
You don't go for that
29
00:01:46,439 --> 00:01:49,008
Flirty, cutesy,
barbie-doll crap, do you?
30
00:01:49,075 --> 00:01:51,010
I mean, she was
so obvious.
31
00:01:51,077 --> 00:01:53,812
I don't know.
I guess for some guys,
it'd probably make 'em feel,
32
00:01:53,880 --> 00:01:56,849
You know, like a man.
33
00:02:00,653 --> 00:02:03,188
I can make you feel
like a man, David.
34
00:02:04,491 --> 00:02:06,492
Take out the trash.
35
00:02:11,031 --> 00:02:13,232
[theme]
36
00:03:18,498 --> 00:03:20,766
[Roseanne laughing]
37
00:03:26,906 --> 00:03:29,341
We're back!
38
00:03:29,409 --> 00:03:32,478
Come on, come on.
I've been holding it in
since the illinois state line!
39
00:03:32,545 --> 00:03:36,682
Hey, you drink the big gulp,
you suffer the consequences.
40
00:03:36,750 --> 00:03:38,684
What a riot!
I haven't been
41
00:03:38,752 --> 00:03:41,520
In the flatbed of a pickup
since I son't know when.
42
00:03:41,588 --> 00:03:45,391
It's a totally different
experience sitting up,
ain't it, Jackie?
43
00:03:48,094 --> 00:03:50,496
Darlene, d.J.!
44
00:03:50,563 --> 00:03:54,500
Here it is.
Iowa's best-selling
sandwich comes to Lanford.
45
00:03:54,567 --> 00:03:57,169
Onasis had ships,
hilton had hotels,
46
00:03:57,237 --> 00:03:59,605
[goofily]
we got loose meat.
[guffaws]
47
00:04:01,675 --> 00:04:05,277
What reeks?
Your future.
48
00:04:05,345 --> 00:04:08,080
Yeah, that smells
about right.
49
00:04:09,983 --> 00:04:13,552
I can't believe you guys
drove all that way just to
copy some greasy diner.
50
00:04:13,620 --> 00:04:15,854
Well, if we're gonna be
successful in business,
51
00:04:15,922 --> 00:04:19,224
We're gonna have to
steal the idea
from somebody.
52
00:04:19,292 --> 00:04:21,226
You should've
seen it, Darlene.
53
00:04:21,294 --> 00:04:24,329
People were shoving loose meat
in their faces as fast as they
could get their hands on it.
54
00:04:24,397 --> 00:04:27,466
Well, why not just
drop a carcass on the table
55
00:04:27,534 --> 00:04:31,203
And let them gnaw
till they're full?
56
00:04:31,271 --> 00:04:35,040
Hey. Don't step
on my buzz, okay?
57
00:04:36,843 --> 00:04:40,112
This means a lot to me.
I would like to have
something to show for my life
58
00:04:40,180 --> 00:04:43,582
Besides stretch marks.
59
00:04:43,650 --> 00:04:45,851
I'm sorry.
I just can't believe
we're gonna make money
60
00:04:45,919 --> 00:04:49,955
By clogging people's arteries
with the fat of poor,
slaughtered animals.
61
00:04:50,023 --> 00:04:53,325
Cool, isn't it?
62
00:04:53,393 --> 00:04:56,362
Yeah, don't knock it
till you've tried it,
Darlene. Come on.
63
00:04:56,429 --> 00:04:59,431
Take a bite
for daddy.
64
00:04:59,499 --> 00:05:02,401
Come on, Darlene.
All the really cool
kids are doing it.
65
00:05:02,469 --> 00:05:05,871
You would be so
popular if you did.
66
00:05:05,939 --> 00:05:08,007
All right,
get that thing
away from me.
67
00:05:08,074 --> 00:05:10,776
I'm not gonna eat
some animal's face.
68
00:05:10,844 --> 00:05:13,045
You don't eat the face.
69
00:05:13,113 --> 00:05:15,581
You mount it
on the wall
as a tribute.
70
00:05:16,816 --> 00:05:18,917
Okay, I've sketched out
their floor plan.
71
00:05:18,985 --> 00:05:21,387
I say we stick
to the original
as best we can,
72
00:05:21,454 --> 00:05:23,822
'cause whatever
they're doing works.
73
00:05:23,890 --> 00:05:25,891
I'll tell you one thing
we're gonna do differently.
74
00:05:25,959 --> 00:05:28,060
We're gonna put
a lock on the bathroom.
75
00:05:28,128 --> 00:05:30,362
And the door.
76
00:05:30,430 --> 00:05:33,899
D.J.! Darlene,
do you know if
he ate dinner?
77
00:05:33,967 --> 00:05:36,335
Oh, I don't know.
I think Molly probably
78
00:05:36,403 --> 00:05:38,904
Took him out back
and slopped him.
79
00:05:38,972 --> 00:05:42,541
Would you please go get him?
I want him to come down and
taste one of these sandwiches.
80
00:05:42,609 --> 00:05:44,677
Oh, did Molly say
81
00:05:44,744 --> 00:05:47,346
How much I owe her
for babysitting?
82
00:05:47,414 --> 00:05:49,415
You know,
funniest thing--
83
00:05:49,482 --> 00:05:51,417
She said she couldn't
take money for
helping us out.
84
00:05:51,484 --> 00:05:53,419
It wouldn't be
neighborly.
85
00:05:53,486 --> 00:05:55,587
What a nice girl.
86
00:05:58,925 --> 00:06:00,993
[Darlene]
D.J.!
87
00:06:01,995 --> 00:06:03,996
Mom said that
she wants--
88
00:06:06,266 --> 00:06:09,401
Oh, I'm sorry, Deej.
I didn't know
you were asleep.
89
00:06:11,338 --> 00:06:14,173
Like I'm really
gonna buy that, you
stupid little loser.
90
00:06:14,240 --> 00:06:17,443
What are you
up to?
Nothing.
91
00:06:17,510 --> 00:06:20,079
Yeah? Well, then,
what's this?
92
00:06:20,146 --> 00:06:22,581
I was looking
at the stars.
93
00:06:22,649 --> 00:06:24,650
Hmm.
94
00:06:27,954 --> 00:06:30,255
Oh, well, would you
look at that.
95
00:06:30,323 --> 00:06:34,059
There's a constellation
in the shape of a naked
next-door neighbor.
96
00:06:36,896 --> 00:06:38,764
I wasn't watching her.
97
00:06:38,832 --> 00:06:40,799
You were peeping
at Molly.
98
00:06:40,867 --> 00:06:43,602
She's your babysitter,
you little perv.
99
00:06:43,670 --> 00:06:45,904
I didn't do it.
I hate girls.
100
00:06:45,972 --> 00:06:48,173
You know what happens
the next time you do it?
101
00:06:48,241 --> 00:06:50,642
I'm telling
mom and dad,
102
00:06:50,710 --> 00:06:55,147
And then you get hauled off to
jail, where peepers like you
get their eyelids sewn shut
103
00:06:55,215 --> 00:06:57,449
So they can
never peep again.
104
00:06:58,785 --> 00:07:00,719
All right,
go downstairs.
105
00:07:00,787 --> 00:07:03,155
Mom wants you to try
a loose-meat sandwich.
106
00:07:04,224 --> 00:07:07,092
That's punishment
enough for now.
107
00:07:14,167 --> 00:07:16,301
I knew she stuffed.
108
00:07:25,345 --> 00:07:27,413
Well?
Yeah, what do
you think, Dan?
109
00:07:27,480 --> 00:07:29,448
Did we get
the recipe or not?
110
00:07:29,516 --> 00:07:33,018
Fruity, yet bovine.
111
00:07:33,086 --> 00:07:35,187
And impudent
little sandwich.
Bingo.
112
00:07:35,255 --> 00:07:38,724
Yes!
It's great. It's just
kind of hard to eat.
113
00:07:38,792 --> 00:07:41,260
Well, see, therein
lies the beauty.
114
00:07:41,327 --> 00:07:43,529
You drop half of it
on your lap, and then
115
00:07:43,596 --> 00:07:46,498
You're forced to
buy another one.
116
00:07:46,566 --> 00:07:50,002
I'll take another one.
Coming right up.
117
00:07:50,070 --> 00:07:51,970
[giggling]
118
00:07:52,038 --> 00:07:54,606
What?
It's just so
neat, you know,
119
00:07:54,674 --> 00:07:58,277
Being in the kitchen
with my guy all hungry,
waiting for food.
120
00:08:00,246 --> 00:08:02,748
Yeah, it really is
neat, you know?
121
00:08:02,816 --> 00:08:05,417
And if you play
your cards right,
you get to do it
122
00:08:05,485 --> 00:08:07,519
3 times a day,
every day,
123
00:08:07,587 --> 00:08:09,888
Until one of you dies.
124
00:08:13,393 --> 00:08:17,196
Okay, now, we got
the recipe and we've
got the money,
125
00:08:17,263 --> 00:08:19,331
And Nancy's out looking
for the place,
126
00:08:19,399 --> 00:08:22,701
So that means that
so far we have
the recipe and the money.
127
00:08:22,769 --> 00:08:27,506
So, what we need now
is a real catchy name.
128
00:08:27,574 --> 00:08:30,476
How about...
Lanford custom cycle?
129
00:08:30,543 --> 00:08:33,312
I know where
you can get
a sign real cheap.
130
00:08:33,380 --> 00:08:37,249
No, something
real catchy like,
sandwiches and stuff.
131
00:08:37,317 --> 00:08:39,451
Lunch and munch.
Eat and go.
132
00:08:39,519 --> 00:08:41,754
Beef and barf.
133
00:08:41,821 --> 00:08:43,989
All right.
Let's think
about this, then.
134
00:08:44,057 --> 00:08:46,692
Meat, beef.
135
00:08:46,760 --> 00:08:48,794
Beefy.
136
00:08:48,862 --> 00:08:51,864
Bun.
Sandwich.
137
00:08:51,931 --> 00:08:55,567
Sandwich, bun.
The sandwich bun.
I don't have anything.
138
00:09:02,542 --> 00:09:04,610
What's the matter
with you, D.J.?
139
00:09:04,678 --> 00:09:07,746
You guys are in there
doing all this stuff
about the restaurant,
140
00:09:07,814 --> 00:09:09,815
And I don't get to
do anything.
141
00:09:09,883 --> 00:09:13,018
Oh, I'm sorry.
You know, it's
your restaurant too.
142
00:09:13,086 --> 00:09:15,020
You can do whatever
you want to do.
143
00:09:15,088 --> 00:09:19,458
Cool! I get to
name the place!
Well, uh, D.J....
144
00:09:19,526 --> 00:09:22,327
Mom says I get to
name the restaurant.
145
00:09:22,395 --> 00:09:25,798
Great. From the boy who
named his goldfish "fluffy."
146
00:09:27,500 --> 00:09:31,003
Hey, he couldn't do
any worse than us.
Go ahead, give it a shot.
147
00:09:31,071 --> 00:09:33,272
The lunch box.
148
00:09:37,210 --> 00:09:39,278
That's pretty good.
149
00:09:42,682 --> 00:09:44,683
"lunch box" it is.
Way to go, Deej.
150
00:09:44,751 --> 00:09:46,685
Yeah, lunch box.
151
00:09:46,753 --> 00:09:49,221
Hi, guys.
Guess what?
We found a place.
152
00:09:49,289 --> 00:09:52,691
Great. 'cause we
got a name, and we
cracked the recipe.
153
00:09:52,759 --> 00:09:55,661
Yeah, here,
taste it, Nance.
154
00:09:57,163 --> 00:09:59,164
No, no. Wait.
Me first.
155
00:09:59,232 --> 00:10:01,433
This is Kerry Thompson,
the realtor who's been
showing me around.
156
00:10:01,501 --> 00:10:03,435
[Dan]
Hi, Kerry.
Hi.
157
00:10:03,503 --> 00:10:05,437
Tell them
about the place.
Oh, okay.
158
00:10:05,505 --> 00:10:07,573
You know the pizza palace
on route 42?
159
00:10:07,640 --> 00:10:09,708
Yeah, that's the place
with the mural
160
00:10:09,776 --> 00:10:12,945
Of the last supper,
but everyone's
eating pizza.
161
00:10:13,013 --> 00:10:15,381
Really, the place
is okay.
162
00:10:15,448 --> 00:10:17,383
Tell them it's okay.
It's okay.
163
00:10:17,450 --> 00:10:20,252
But we have a problem.
Tell them we have
a problem.
164
00:10:20,320 --> 00:10:22,254
We have a problem.
165
00:10:22,322 --> 00:10:24,723
I don't think you guys
have enough money.
166
00:10:24,791 --> 00:10:27,192
What are you
talking about?
We have $30,000.
167
00:10:27,260 --> 00:10:29,428
Well, have your accountant
crunch the numbers,
168
00:10:29,496 --> 00:10:32,431
But I haven't heard of
anyone opening up even
the smallest place
169
00:10:32,499 --> 00:10:34,900
For under 40,
45 thousand.
170
00:10:34,968 --> 00:10:39,705
Not even if we skimp
on the health codes
and stuff?
171
00:10:39,773 --> 00:10:41,907
I'm just being honest.
172
00:10:41,975 --> 00:10:45,110
Well, we're screwed.
There's no way any bank's
gonna loan us a dime.
173
00:10:45,178 --> 00:10:47,946
But you didn't
let me finish.
There's a thing we can do.
174
00:10:48,014 --> 00:10:50,215
Tell them about the thing--
would you stop that?
175
00:10:50,283 --> 00:10:54,053
I was telling Nancy that
we might want to try the
small business administration.
176
00:10:54,120 --> 00:10:56,622
It's this government office
where people like you
177
00:10:56,690 --> 00:10:59,391
Can go and get
start-up loans to
get your business going.
178
00:10:59,459 --> 00:11:02,127
They're never gonna
give us any money.
179
00:11:02,195 --> 00:11:04,496
Sure, they will.
We have
a legitimate idea.
180
00:11:04,564 --> 00:11:06,498
We'll just go in there
and tell them the truth.
181
00:11:06,566 --> 00:11:08,500
Sounds great.
We'll go down
tomorrow.
182
00:11:08,568 --> 00:11:12,404
Tomorrow?
I can't come up with
the truth by tomorrow.
183
00:11:23,917 --> 00:11:27,252
"donald bobeck""
donald-- that's
a friendly name.
184
00:11:27,320 --> 00:11:30,956
Lot of friendly donalds.
Donald duck,
donald sutherland,
185
00:11:31,024 --> 00:11:33,926
Uh, donald, uh, um...
"that girl's" boyfriend.
186
00:11:33,993 --> 00:11:36,695
He was so friendly.
What was his last name?
187
00:11:36,763 --> 00:11:40,199
Could you shut up?
What are you so
nervous about?
188
00:11:40,266 --> 00:11:43,302
"Hollinger."
189
00:11:43,370 --> 00:11:45,270
What?
190
00:11:45,338 --> 00:11:48,841
"that girl's" boyfriend's
last name was Hollinger.
191
00:11:48,908 --> 00:11:52,778
Oh, great. Well, could you
just keep that under your hat
until they ask?
192
00:11:55,181 --> 00:11:57,416
Look at this
pamphlet here.
193
00:11:57,484 --> 00:11:59,418
It's got this whole
section on minorities.
194
00:11:59,486 --> 00:12:03,288
It says that they give
special consideration to
businesses run by women.
195
00:12:03,356 --> 00:12:05,924
That's it.
That's our angle.
196
00:12:05,992 --> 00:12:08,527
We're women.
197
00:12:09,896 --> 00:12:11,897
I say we go
with it.
198
00:12:11,965 --> 00:12:15,034
Thank god we all brought
our ovaries with us.
199
00:12:16,336 --> 00:12:19,772
Hi, there.
Sorry to keep you
waiting.
200
00:12:19,839 --> 00:12:21,974
Oh, that's okay.
201
00:12:22,042 --> 00:12:23,942
We're all real patient,
202
00:12:24,010 --> 00:12:26,378
Being women and all.
203
00:12:26,446 --> 00:12:29,048
Uh, Mrs. Conner
and, uh...
204
00:12:29,115 --> 00:12:32,184
Ms. Harris.
205
00:12:32,252 --> 00:12:34,553
Just Nancy.
[clicks tongue]
206
00:12:36,322 --> 00:12:40,259
Now, why don't you tell me
about this business
you want to start?
207
00:12:40,326 --> 00:12:42,628
Well, okay.
Uh...
208
00:12:42,696 --> 00:12:45,564
Well, it's
a restaurant, see?
But more.
209
00:12:45,632 --> 00:12:49,101
A lot more.
We're gonna serve
loose-meat sandwiches.
210
00:12:49,169 --> 00:12:51,236
"loose meat"?
211
00:12:51,304 --> 00:12:53,972
Yeah, well, it's
kind of like, uh,
212
00:12:54,040 --> 00:12:56,408
Early on, when mcdonalds
just started, you know?
213
00:12:56,476 --> 00:12:58,911
Because the whole thing's based
on this hamburger thing,
214
00:12:58,978 --> 00:13:03,649
Only ours looks really weird,
but then you can buy chips
and pie and stuff.
215
00:13:03,717 --> 00:13:06,685
And pop.
In cans.
216
00:13:10,056 --> 00:13:11,990
Interesting.
217
00:13:12,058 --> 00:13:16,528
Have any of you had
previous experience in
running a restaurant?
218
00:13:16,596 --> 00:13:18,564
Oh, yeah, yeah.
I have.
219
00:13:18,631 --> 00:13:20,566
I was, uh,
220
00:13:20,633 --> 00:13:23,268
Well, the best waitress
at rodbell's.
221
00:13:23,336 --> 00:13:26,839
I should have been put up
into management, but they
kind of held me back
222
00:13:26,906 --> 00:13:28,874
Because I'm a woman.
223
00:13:28,942 --> 00:13:31,410
And you, ms. Harris?
224
00:13:31,478 --> 00:13:34,580
I have...
225
00:13:34,647 --> 00:13:37,416
Hauled meat.
226
00:13:37,484 --> 00:13:39,651
I have...
227
00:13:41,454 --> 00:13:43,889
Eaten meat.
228
00:13:46,593 --> 00:13:48,827
Nancy?
229
00:13:48,895 --> 00:13:51,663
I'm gonna have to take
a pass on this one, don.
230
00:13:53,066 --> 00:13:55,000
Which, of course,
we all know
231
00:13:55,068 --> 00:13:57,369
Is a woman's
prerogative.
232
00:13:58,705 --> 00:14:01,206
Well, we do have
special provisions
233
00:14:01,274 --> 00:14:03,575
For minorities
and the handicapped.
234
00:14:03,643 --> 00:14:05,577
I assume none of you
are handicapped.
235
00:14:05,645 --> 00:14:08,814
I have 3 kids.
236
00:14:08,882 --> 00:14:12,017
I'm in therapy.
237
00:14:13,420 --> 00:14:17,222
Mm-hmm. And what bank
will you be going through?
238
00:14:17,290 --> 00:14:19,291
Oh, we're not going
through a bank.
239
00:14:19,359 --> 00:14:22,494
Don, that's why
we're here!
240
00:14:22,562 --> 00:14:25,297
No, no, no.
I don't think
you understand.
241
00:14:25,365 --> 00:14:28,834
You see, what we do
here at the S.B.A. Is
guarantee the loan.
242
00:14:28,902 --> 00:14:31,804
You still have to get
the money from the bank.
243
00:14:31,871 --> 00:14:35,074
Well, so what do you call it
the small business
administration for?
244
00:14:35,141 --> 00:14:39,211
What don't you call it
the "get your own damn
money administration"?
245
00:14:39,279 --> 00:14:41,113
Mrs. Conner,
don't get excited.
246
00:14:41,181 --> 00:14:43,449
Well, now, we came to you
to get some money.
247
00:14:43,516 --> 00:14:46,852
So do you guys have
any money or not?
248
00:14:46,920 --> 00:14:50,689
Well, we almost never
give direct loans.
249
00:14:50,757 --> 00:14:54,026
The government
changed the rules.
250
00:14:54,094 --> 00:14:57,930
Now we make a deal
with the bank so if
your business folds,
251
00:14:57,997 --> 00:15:00,065
The bank will get most
of its money back.
252
00:15:00,133 --> 00:15:02,568
Well, that sucks.
253
00:15:02,635 --> 00:15:05,437
So you're in business
with banks.
254
00:15:05,505 --> 00:15:08,574
What about us, you know?
Banks have tons of money,
and we don't got any.
255
00:15:08,641 --> 00:15:11,510
Don't blow it, Roseanne.
This guy can help us
get a loan
256
00:15:11,578 --> 00:15:13,512
If he wants to
recommend us.
257
00:15:13,580 --> 00:15:16,448
Will you
recommend us?
Not likely.
258
00:15:16,516 --> 00:15:19,551
Based on our
criteria,
259
00:15:19,619 --> 00:15:22,955
We consider you...
A bad risk.
260
00:15:23,023 --> 00:15:26,358
I'll tell you
what a bad risk is.
261
00:15:26,426 --> 00:15:29,962
That's you sitting across
this desk from me,
calling me a bad risk.
262
00:15:30,030 --> 00:15:32,398
[Jackie]
forget it, Roseanne.
263
00:15:32,465 --> 00:15:35,300
You know, the S.B.A.
Is supposed to be set up
to help people like us.
264
00:15:35,368 --> 00:15:37,770
Y'all don't know nothing
about people like us.
265
00:15:37,837 --> 00:15:40,039
The trouble with people
who work for the government
266
00:15:40,106 --> 00:15:42,541
Is y'all have jobs.
267
00:15:50,417 --> 00:15:52,418
[rings]
268
00:15:52,485 --> 00:15:54,586
Yes?
269
00:15:54,654 --> 00:15:56,722
I think you should know
I was in my room
getting ready for bed,
270
00:15:56,790 --> 00:15:58,724
And I saw your brother
watching me.
271
00:15:58,792 --> 00:16:01,727
Again?
272
00:16:01,795 --> 00:16:05,664
"again"?
Yeah, I caught him doing it
about a week ago.
273
00:16:05,732 --> 00:16:09,902
And you didn't do anything?
Yeah, I told him he wouldn't get
much money for the pictures.
274
00:16:11,805 --> 00:16:15,574
I told him to stop.
Thanks a lot
for all your help.
275
00:16:15,642 --> 00:16:19,011
Look, what was
I supposed to do?
You could've told me.
276
00:16:19,079 --> 00:16:21,447
Oh, I forgot.
You're not from
these parts.
277
00:16:21,514 --> 00:16:24,650
Well, here in the big city,
when you change in front
of an open window,
278
00:16:24,718 --> 00:16:26,852
You're not just
amusing the sheep.
279
00:16:28,088 --> 00:16:30,022
Darlene, what do you
have against me?
280
00:16:30,090 --> 00:16:33,592
Nothing. I just feel
that we're at that
point in our friendship
281
00:16:33,660 --> 00:16:36,362
Where you should realize
that we don't have one.
282
00:16:36,429 --> 00:16:38,964
I mean it.
What did I ever
do to you?
283
00:16:39,032 --> 00:16:41,667
Is this because
David flirts with me?
284
00:16:41,735 --> 00:16:43,669
I think you have that
backwards.
285
00:16:43,737 --> 00:16:46,205
You're the one always pulling
the touchy-feely routine
every time he's around.
286
00:16:46,272 --> 00:16:50,709
I was just trying to be nice.
Well, he's not used to being
treated that way, okay?
287
00:16:50,777 --> 00:16:52,811
All right, look.
288
00:16:52,879 --> 00:16:55,514
Maybe I came on a little
strong the other day,
but I was mad at you.
289
00:16:55,582 --> 00:16:58,050
Just trust me.
I'm not interested
in David, okay?
290
00:16:58,118 --> 00:17:01,053
Yeah, right.
And I'm sure David
doesn't like me.
291
00:17:01,121 --> 00:17:04,656
I know that.
I didn't say he liked you.
I said, cut the boy-toy crap.
292
00:17:04,724 --> 00:17:07,359
Okay.
I know he doesn't
like you.
293
00:17:07,427 --> 00:17:09,661
Fine!
Fine!
294
00:17:11,865 --> 00:17:15,134
So anyway, are you
gonna do something
about your brother?
295
00:17:15,201 --> 00:17:17,503
Yeah, I'll take
care of it.
296
00:17:17,570 --> 00:17:21,006
Well, I hope so,
'cause he could grow up to be
a really disturbed individual.
297
00:17:21,074 --> 00:17:23,642
[chuckles]
you don't understand,
here, Molly.
298
00:17:23,710 --> 00:17:26,045
This is the most normal
thing he's ever done.
299
00:17:35,388 --> 00:17:38,190
Hey, at least
you tried.
[scoffs]
300
00:17:38,258 --> 00:17:40,959
I guess now I'm
back to trucking.
301
00:17:41,027 --> 00:17:42,961
Yeah, and I guess
I'm back to looking for
302
00:17:43,029 --> 00:17:45,397
Some low-paying
crap job.
303
00:17:45,465 --> 00:17:47,633
Don't worry, honey.
You'll find one.
304
00:17:49,102 --> 00:17:51,804
Damn it, Dan,
I really wanted
this, you know?
305
00:17:51,871 --> 00:17:54,573
I wanted it
really, really bad!
306
00:17:54,641 --> 00:17:57,409
I know, rosie.
It's not fair!
307
00:17:57,477 --> 00:17:59,511
I know, Jackie.
308
00:17:59,579 --> 00:18:03,248
How come our lives
always have to be
the ones that suck, huh?
309
00:18:03,316 --> 00:18:07,152
I don't know, rosie?
How come we never get one
little thing that we want?
310
00:18:07,220 --> 00:18:10,422
I don't know, Jackie.
311
00:18:10,490 --> 00:18:14,126
This is all
your fault, Jackie.
My fault?
312
00:18:14,194 --> 00:18:17,696
Yeah! You're the one
that dragged that damn ray
of hope into this house.
313
00:18:17,764 --> 00:18:19,865
I just can't believe
it's gonna end like this.
314
00:18:19,933 --> 00:18:23,469
There's got to be somebody
to loan us the money.
How about Crystal and Ed?
315
00:18:23,536 --> 00:18:25,471
Nah, they got 3 kids
and a mortgage.
316
00:18:25,538 --> 00:18:27,906
Chuck and anne-marie.
He's still looking
for work.
317
00:18:27,974 --> 00:18:32,077
Gil and Patty.
No, they're barely getting by
like everybody else we know.
318
00:18:32,145 --> 00:18:35,581
We got to get a better
class of friends.
319
00:18:35,648 --> 00:18:40,119
There's got to be somebody
who can give us $10,000
like mom did.
320
00:18:44,924 --> 00:18:46,859
It's an awful lot
of money.
321
00:18:46,926 --> 00:18:49,762
What happened to the 10,000
I gave you last week?
322
00:18:49,829 --> 00:18:51,897
Aw, cripes, mom,
323
00:18:51,965 --> 00:18:55,234
We blew that on
candy and records.
324
00:18:55,301 --> 00:18:57,803
Roseanne, I told you
it was a big mistake.
325
00:18:57,904 --> 00:18:59,938
Now, hold on!
I didn't say no.
326
00:19:00,006 --> 00:19:01,940
Just give me
a few minutes.
327
00:19:02,008 --> 00:19:05,844
Well, now, you've got to
use your imagination, ma.
328
00:19:05,912 --> 00:19:08,347
You know, you've got to
picture it full of people.
329
00:19:08,415 --> 00:19:10,683
Yeah, it's gonna look
way different full of
people, mom.
330
00:19:10,750 --> 00:19:14,019
It's not gonna look
so empty.
331
00:19:14,087 --> 00:19:16,355
Yes, Jackie, I suppose
it is the kind of place
332
00:19:16,423 --> 00:19:19,224
Your trucker friends
would frequent.
333
00:19:19,292 --> 00:19:22,594
Would you like to see
the oven, mom?
334
00:19:22,662 --> 00:19:25,964
I think I smell mice.
335
00:19:26,032 --> 00:19:28,000
What are we doing?
336
00:19:28,068 --> 00:19:32,538
This is our dream.
We can't have a dream
with mom in it.
337
00:19:32,605 --> 00:19:35,374
Well, don't think about it
as asking for her help.
338
00:19:35,442 --> 00:19:39,411
Think about it as
draining her nest egg.
339
00:19:39,479 --> 00:19:42,081
[bev]
this water
is yellow!
340
00:19:42,148 --> 00:19:44,850
Oh, god, oh, god,
oh, god!
341
00:19:44,918 --> 00:19:48,053
Help me drain
the water here!
342
00:19:48,121 --> 00:19:50,055
Listen, trust me,
343
00:19:50,123 --> 00:19:52,858
This is the perfect place
to hit her up for money.
344
00:19:52,926 --> 00:19:56,595
And if she says no,
it's the perfect place
to dump the body.
345
00:19:56,663 --> 00:19:59,131
Well, I've decided.
346
00:19:59,199 --> 00:20:01,166
I'm not going to
lend you the money.
347
00:20:01,234 --> 00:20:04,003
Big, fat
waste of time.
348
00:20:04,070 --> 00:20:07,439
However,
what I will do is
349
00:20:07,507 --> 00:20:11,310
Put up the $10,000
and become your
fourth partner.
350
00:20:13,413 --> 00:20:17,616
But I want you to know,
I'm not doing this for you.
I'm doing it for me.
351
00:20:17,684 --> 00:20:22,087
I never had a chance
to do anything
like this before.
352
00:20:22,155 --> 00:20:24,556
So, do we have a deal?
353
00:20:27,961 --> 00:20:29,962
Deal.
354
00:20:30,030 --> 00:20:33,399
This is where
the thunder claps
and the sky turns black.
355
00:20:33,466 --> 00:20:37,703
I'll write you a check tomorrow.
You know what would look
great on these walls?
356
00:20:37,771 --> 00:20:41,407
Some paintings I've been doing.
Painting-- I've been painting.
357
00:20:47,247 --> 00:20:49,415
Listen.
Now, now, listen.
358
00:20:49,482 --> 00:20:51,417
Listen.
359
00:20:51,484 --> 00:20:54,019
Just think of it
like this, okay?
360
00:20:54,087 --> 00:20:57,289
From now on,
you'll be able
to write off
361
00:20:57,357 --> 00:21:00,459
Your therapy as
a business expense.
362
00:21:20,013 --> 00:21:22,314
Your little brother's
doing it again.
363
00:21:22,382 --> 00:21:26,485
I told you
I'd take care of it,
and I did. D.J.!
364
00:21:26,553 --> 00:21:29,088
What are you calling
him down here for?
He'll never admit it.
365
00:21:29,155 --> 00:21:32,124
Oh, he won't have to.
I put shoe polish on
the eye of his telescope
366
00:21:32,192 --> 00:21:35,361
So he'll be branded
for the deviant
that he is.
367
00:21:36,429 --> 00:21:38,530
What do you want?
368
00:21:38,598 --> 00:21:41,533
Brilliant plan.
Should have worked.
369
00:21:42,602 --> 00:21:44,670
Hey.
370
00:21:56,583 --> 00:21:58,584
What?
371
00:22:11,831 --> 00:22:14,633
Hi, guys! Guess what?
We found a place.
372
00:22:14,701 --> 00:22:17,736
Great. 'cause we got a name,
and we cracked the recipe.
373
00:22:17,804 --> 00:22:20,439
Yeah, yeah.
Here, taste it, Nance.
374
00:22:22,275 --> 00:22:24,209
No, wait. Me first.
375
00:22:24,277 --> 00:22:26,545
This is Kerry Thompson,
the realtor who's been
showing me around.
376
00:22:26,613 --> 00:22:29,381
Hi.
Well, hello, Kerry.
377
00:22:38,458 --> 00:22:40,759
Do you have
a card, kerry?
378
00:22:43,329 --> 00:22:45,364
[theme]
42156
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