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00:00:07,905 --> 00:00:10,484
[Ulysses Voiceover] I've always
had a simultaneous fear of,
2
00:00:10,485 --> 00:00:12,662
and attraction toward, the unknown.
3
00:00:13,872 --> 00:00:16,334
And in these fucking
dark and scary times,
4
00:00:16,335 --> 00:00:20,194
it's easy to adopt a "What
difference does it make?" attitude.
5
00:00:20,970 --> 00:00:23,910
So I often find myself
in these situations
6
00:00:23,911 --> 00:00:27,727
where my heart's pounding so
fast I can barely breathe.
7
00:00:28,689 --> 00:00:33,067
And I can't tell if it's
excitement or terror or both.
8
00:00:33,068 --> 00:00:34,671
- No!
- It's not like I'm brave
9
00:00:34,672 --> 00:00:37,220
or anything, it's more
10
00:00:38,172 --> 00:00:39,923
reckless stupidity,
11
00:00:41,123 --> 00:00:42,650
an adrenaline fix,
12
00:00:43,699 --> 00:00:47,115
throwing myself into the
void to see what happens.
13
00:00:53,258 --> 00:00:54,854
No!
14
00:00:55,760 --> 00:00:57,089
Help me!
15
00:00:58,045 --> 00:01:00,134
[man groans]
16
00:01:01,527 --> 00:01:04,052
[screams]
17
00:01:04,053 --> 00:01:05,377
[Ulysses grunting]
18
00:01:05,378 --> 00:01:08,423
Harder! Harder!
19
00:01:08,424 --> 00:01:09,471
- [door thuds]
- Dave?
20
00:01:09,472 --> 00:01:10,512
Oh, shit!
21
00:01:10,513 --> 00:01:11,703
My husband's home!
22
00:01:11,704 --> 00:01:12,916
Oh, shit.
23
00:01:12,917 --> 00:01:15,149
[stammers] What should I do?
24
00:01:17,717 --> 00:01:19,152
DAVE'S HUSBAND: Dave, where are you?!
25
00:01:19,153 --> 00:01:20,588
DAVE: In here, babe.
26
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- [Ulysses yelps]
- [loud thud]
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00:01:35,579 --> 00:01:37,840
[Ulysses Voiceover] So yeah,
I realized that one day
28
00:01:37,841 --> 00:01:39,725
these crazy adventures
will probably get me
29
00:01:39,726 --> 00:01:42,485
into some gigantic trouble
I can't get out of.
30
00:01:42,486 --> 00:01:44,840
_
31
00:01:44,841 --> 00:01:46,809
But it's almost like
I can't help myself.
32
00:01:46,810 --> 00:01:48,922
["Star Roving" by Slowdive]
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00:01:50,908 --> 00:01:53,911
I do shit sometimes and I
really don't know why.
34
00:01:57,104 --> 00:01:58,744
To avoid boredom, I guess.
35
00:02:00,455 --> 00:02:01,828
To feel alive.
36
00:02:03,502 --> 00:02:05,721
Just for the fucking fuck of it.
37
00:02:06,270 --> 00:02:12,270
Sync and corrections by btsix
www.addic7ed.com
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00:02:20,334 --> 00:02:24,444
♪ Give it away now, girl ♪
39
00:02:24,445 --> 00:02:30,445
♪ Can't hold down tonight ♪
40
00:02:46,501 --> 00:02:49,524
[panting]
41
00:02:49,525 --> 00:02:50,726
Ah.
42
00:02:53,277 --> 00:02:54,477
Sorry, dude.
43
00:02:55,366 --> 00:02:56,566
Whatever.
44
00:02:57,586 --> 00:02:59,044
Hey, Severine.
45
00:03:00,262 --> 00:03:02,524
I thought you were sleeping out tonight.
46
00:03:02,525 --> 00:03:04,625
Yeah, uh, I'm not.
47
00:03:07,248 --> 00:03:10,455
Anyhoo, please, continue.
48
00:03:11,252 --> 00:03:12,661
Goodnight, Ulysses.
49
00:03:12,662 --> 00:03:14,078
Goodnight.
50
00:03:14,079 --> 00:03:15,603
Night, dude.
51
00:03:17,366 --> 00:03:20,700
ULYSSES: So, Ford and I have a
sort of strange relationship.
52
00:03:21,793 --> 00:03:24,962
We've been roommates since college
53
00:03:24,963 --> 00:03:28,289
and we kind of drunk messed
around once freshman year.
54
00:03:28,290 --> 00:03:31,031
I love him unconditionally
55
00:03:31,032 --> 00:03:34,730
and if he had even one
sexually ambiguous molecule
56
00:03:34,731 --> 00:03:36,654
in his body, we'd probably be married,
57
00:03:36,655 --> 00:03:40,518
but Ford's that truly rare Kinsey zero
58
00:03:40,519 --> 00:03:43,391
in contrast to my ever oscillating four,
59
00:03:43,392 --> 00:03:45,610
which means I'm not so totally queer
60
00:03:45,611 --> 00:03:49,063
that I haven't rubbed out a few
fantasizing about Severine.
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00:03:49,064 --> 00:03:52,762
Everything in my life right
now is a question mark,
62
00:03:52,763 --> 00:03:56,022
which pretty much explains
what this thing is about.
63
00:03:56,023 --> 00:03:57,636
It's definitely not a vlog.
64
00:03:57,637 --> 00:04:01,409
It's more of a place to
download the random shit
65
00:04:01,410 --> 00:04:04,652
that's in my head to keep it
from like [lips pop] exploding.
66
00:04:04,653 --> 00:04:09,042
Back in school, I thought
I wanted to be an actor,
67
00:04:09,043 --> 00:04:11,810
but once I got to LA,
I quickly discovered
68
00:04:11,811 --> 00:04:14,161
that's probably the lamest,
most soul-crushing thing
69
00:04:14,162 --> 00:04:15,567
I could do with my life.
70
00:04:15,568 --> 00:04:18,339
And Ford is that sad LA cliché,
71
00:04:18,340 --> 00:04:19,912
an aspiring screenwriter.
72
00:04:19,913 --> 00:04:23,474
But movies are even more
irrelevant now than books.
73
00:04:23,475 --> 00:04:27,230
It's all stupid superheroes
and YA bullshit.
74
00:04:27,231 --> 00:04:29,602
And thanks to Instagram,
art and photography,
75
00:04:29,603 --> 00:04:31,874
all of that's pretty
much obsolete now too,
76
00:04:31,875 --> 00:04:33,559
so lacking a better outlet,
77
00:04:33,560 --> 00:04:38,382
here I am talking to myself in the dark.
78
00:04:45,993 --> 00:04:47,761
But also,
79
00:04:47,762 --> 00:04:50,940
there's something weird going on
80
00:04:50,941 --> 00:04:55,436
that I feel I need to document.
81
00:04:58,877 --> 00:05:00,552
I've been having this nightmare,
82
00:05:00,553 --> 00:05:02,816
the same one over and over,
83
00:05:02,817 --> 00:05:05,172
two or three times a
week for the past month.
84
00:05:05,173 --> 00:05:06,219
MAN: No!
85
00:05:06,220 --> 00:05:08,107
[Ulysses Voiceover] And it's
so vivid and freakishly real
86
00:05:08,108 --> 00:05:12,132
that when I wake up, it's still
there hovering over me like
87
00:05:12,133 --> 00:05:14,090
it's not just a dream,
88
00:05:14,091 --> 00:05:17,311
like it's trying to tell me something.
89
00:05:17,312 --> 00:05:20,701
Maybe smoke a smidge
less pot before bedtime?
90
00:05:20,702 --> 00:05:22,009
Carly, I'm being serious.
91
00:05:22,010 --> 00:05:23,923
Don't you ever get bizarre premonitions?
92
00:05:24,656 --> 00:05:28,322
- No.
- Well, I do and I'm a double Scorpio.
93
00:05:28,323 --> 00:05:30,137
It's the most psychic of all the signs.
94
00:05:30,138 --> 00:05:33,457
And I've had premonitions
before, but this is different.
95
00:05:33,458 --> 00:05:36,712
It's like we're teetering on the
brink of total annihilation.
96
00:05:36,713 --> 00:05:40,064
CARLY: Okay, well, that's
every fucking day now
97
00:05:40,065 --> 00:05:42,766
in this tragic shit show
era we're living in.
98
00:05:42,767 --> 00:05:46,005
But anyway, are you still
cyber-stalking that guy?
99
00:05:46,006 --> 00:05:47,634
- Gabriel.
- Mm.
100
00:05:48,300 --> 00:05:50,970
Yeah. We were supposed to
hang out last night, but...
101
00:05:50,971 --> 00:05:54,153
Oh, let me guess, he flaked.
102
00:05:55,089 --> 00:06:00,115
Hey, look, this guy's a
gnarly 300-pound catfish.
103
00:06:00,116 --> 00:06:02,023
That's why I've been pushing
to meet in real life.
104
00:06:02,024 --> 00:06:03,198
Look, check it out.
105
00:06:03,199 --> 00:06:06,113
- Oh. He is pretty.
- Right?
106
00:06:06,114 --> 00:06:09,421
I know it sounds hokey, but I just get
this vibe that we're destined to be.
107
00:06:09,422 --> 00:06:11,453
Okay, double Scorpio.
108
00:06:11,454 --> 00:06:14,542
Honestly, just looking at him
makes me dizzy and hard.
109
00:06:14,543 --> 00:06:16,239
You know, when I first met Jethro,
110
00:06:16,240 --> 00:06:18,807
seeing him sneeze would make me cum,
111
00:06:18,808 --> 00:06:21,679
but now, like uh, last night,
in the middle of fucking,
112
00:06:21,680 --> 00:06:27,829
Jethro leans in and for some
ungodly reason, whispers...
113
00:06:27,830 --> 00:06:29,687
Mm, teach me, baby, teach me.
114
00:06:29,688 --> 00:06:31,042
- What?
- [Jethro moans]
115
00:06:31,043 --> 00:06:32,062
Teach me!
116
00:06:32,063 --> 00:06:34,039
Is that something you
got from a bad porno?
117
00:06:34,040 --> 00:06:35,389
Oh, come on, baby!
118
00:06:35,390 --> 00:06:37,307
Yeah, teach me how to drive you wild!
119
00:06:37,308 --> 00:06:38,668
Yes, baby!
120
00:06:38,669 --> 00:06:40,222
Make me a student!
121
00:06:40,223 --> 00:06:42,134
I'm a vessel for your pleasure!
122
00:06:42,135 --> 00:06:43,416
- [groans]
- Yeah!
123
00:06:43,417 --> 00:06:45,094
Ah, teach me, baby!
124
00:06:45,095 --> 00:06:46,051
- Come on, yeah!
- Can you just slow down
125
00:06:46,052 --> 00:06:47,304
a little bit, please?!
126
00:06:47,305 --> 00:06:49,054
Teach me, baby! Teach me!
127
00:06:49,055 --> 00:06:51,187
- Oh, shit.
- And it gets worse.
128
00:06:51,188 --> 00:06:54,725
He wants me to go to his fucking
meditation class tonight.
129
00:06:54,726 --> 00:06:56,469
But meditating gives you anxiety.
130
00:06:56,470 --> 00:06:57,497
Yeah, I know.
131
00:06:57,498 --> 00:07:00,802
It's so easy for him. His brain,
his natural resting state,
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00:07:00,803 --> 00:07:03,765
is just a blank void of nothingness.
133
00:07:03,766 --> 00:07:06,115
- [phone buzzes]
- [Carly sighs]
134
00:07:06,116 --> 00:07:07,899
Is it the catfish?
135
00:07:07,900 --> 00:07:09,727
Oh, shit, really? What'd he say?
136
00:07:09,728 --> 00:07:11,599
That he wants to meet tonight.
137
00:07:11,600 --> 00:07:15,211
Okay, well, my advice, set the bar low.
138
00:07:15,212 --> 00:07:18,095
Very low.
139
00:07:19,911 --> 00:07:24,220
♪ Sanctify the love
that you crave, crave ♪
140
00:07:24,221 --> 00:07:29,138
♪ Oh, and I won't, and I won't,
and I won't be ashamed ♪
141
00:07:29,139 --> 00:07:31,836
♪ Sanctify my sins when I pray ♪
142
00:07:31,837 --> 00:07:35,292
♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪
143
00:07:35,293 --> 00:07:40,085
- ♪ When I pray ♪
- ♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪
144
00:07:41,189 --> 00:07:43,833
♪ You'll find redemption ♪
145
00:07:43,834 --> 00:07:45,035
Hey.
146
00:07:45,867 --> 00:07:47,266
How's the script coming?
147
00:07:48,308 --> 00:07:50,028
I've seen you here before.
148
00:07:50,029 --> 00:07:51,230
Oh.
149
00:07:52,184 --> 00:07:53,815
It's going great.
150
00:07:53,816 --> 00:07:56,148
- You a writer too?
- No.
151
00:07:56,149 --> 00:07:57,650
Actually, I'm a producer.
152
00:07:57,651 --> 00:08:01,147
Oh, no shit. Cool.
153
00:08:01,599 --> 00:08:03,926
You should send me one of your scripts.
154
00:08:05,894 --> 00:08:08,133
- For real?
- Yes.
155
00:08:08,134 --> 00:08:11,415
You look like a ambitious,
hardworking young man.
156
00:08:12,690 --> 00:08:14,138
Email me.
157
00:08:14,845 --> 00:08:16,533
Oh, wow.
158
00:08:16,534 --> 00:08:19,653
Okay, Mr. Powers.
159
00:08:19,654 --> 00:08:22,652
Please. Barnabas.
160
00:08:25,634 --> 00:08:28,498
Ford. Ford Halstead.
161
00:08:28,499 --> 00:08:30,559
Great to meet you, Ford.
162
00:08:30,560 --> 00:08:33,518
Well, I'll let you get back to work.
163
00:08:33,519 --> 00:08:36,296
Cool! I'll email you.
164
00:08:36,297 --> 00:08:37,491
Looking forward to it.
165
00:08:42,443 --> 00:08:44,990
_
166
00:08:46,525 --> 00:08:48,377
_
167
00:08:49,049 --> 00:08:51,822
_
168
00:08:53,703 --> 00:08:55,032
_
169
00:08:55,033 --> 00:08:57,688
MAN: They keep fucking me.
170
00:08:59,212 --> 00:09:00,412
I tell them no,
171
00:09:01,766 --> 00:09:03,343
but they keep fucking me.
172
00:09:03,344 --> 00:09:05,457
They keep fucking me!
173
00:09:05,458 --> 00:09:06,565
Fucking me!
174
00:09:07,366 --> 00:09:08,998
And they won't stop.
175
00:09:13,039 --> 00:09:16,651
Please, make them stop.
176
00:09:18,338 --> 00:09:19,817
Make them stop.
177
00:09:40,335 --> 00:09:42,097
Severine Bordeaux.
178
00:09:42,098 --> 00:09:43,342
[scanner beeps]
179
00:10:03,913 --> 00:10:05,436
Hello, Severine.
180
00:10:07,003 --> 00:10:09,047
Lars. Klaus.
181
00:10:10,022 --> 00:10:11,958
Looks like I didn't miss anything.
182
00:10:11,959 --> 00:10:14,738
Yes, the man is running late as usual.
183
00:10:14,739 --> 00:10:17,959
I think they keep us waiting on
purpose, to build anticipation.
184
00:10:17,960 --> 00:10:20,815
And to make our work seem even
more highly classified than it is.
185
00:10:20,816 --> 00:10:23,534
Actually, I heard this new assignment
186
00:10:23,535 --> 00:10:25,603
is a genuine priority level one.
187
00:10:26,382 --> 00:10:27,795
Really?
188
00:10:27,796 --> 00:10:28,996
Who told you this?
189
00:10:29,907 --> 00:10:31,016
[Severine sighs]
190
00:10:31,017 --> 00:10:33,140
If I revealed my sources,
191
00:10:33,141 --> 00:10:34,918
I'd have to kill you.
192
00:10:36,632 --> 00:10:38,405
[groans]
193
00:10:41,571 --> 00:10:43,034
I don't know, Uly.
194
00:10:43,035 --> 00:10:45,726
Sometimes a dream is just a dream.
195
00:10:45,727 --> 00:10:48,533
Yeah, but then, but then sometimes,
196
00:10:49,580 --> 00:10:50,962
sometimes it's more.
197
00:10:51,317 --> 00:10:52,951
Dude, do you remember that time
198
00:10:52,952 --> 00:10:55,083
you were so convinced an
earthquake was coming?
199
00:10:55,084 --> 00:10:56,606
You went out, you bought a bunch of soup
200
00:10:56,607 --> 00:10:58,695
and water and batteries?
201
00:10:58,696 --> 00:10:59,908
[laughs]
202
00:10:59,909 --> 00:11:01,498
This is different than that.
203
00:11:02,157 --> 00:11:03,915
Is it?
204
00:11:03,916 --> 00:11:06,964
Anyway, huh, isn't it awesome
what happened today?
205
00:11:06,965 --> 00:11:08,092
What?
206
00:11:08,093 --> 00:11:10,646
That producer gave me his business card.
207
00:11:11,166 --> 00:11:12,348
Oh, right.
208
00:11:12,349 --> 00:11:14,235
So is he... is he for real?
209
00:11:14,236 --> 00:11:15,495
What do you mean?
210
00:11:15,496 --> 00:11:17,409
As in does he have credits?
211
00:11:17,410 --> 00:11:18,915
That, that aren't porn.
212
00:11:18,916 --> 00:11:21,283
Yeah. I already checked.
213
00:11:21,284 --> 00:11:23,894
Just be careful, okay? 'Cause he
could be a serial killer or...
214
00:11:23,895 --> 00:11:25,417
Okay, paranoid.
215
00:11:25,418 --> 00:11:29,552
♪ Do, do, do, do, do, do ♪
216
00:11:29,553 --> 00:11:32,990
Hey, so, um, I'm gonna be
a, a little bit behind
217
00:11:32,991 --> 00:11:34,803
on, on the rent again, this month.
218
00:11:34,804 --> 00:11:37,386
Ah, no big. I got it.
219
00:11:37,387 --> 00:11:39,898
I know, I just, I don't wanna be a scab.
220
00:11:39,899 --> 00:11:41,491
Hey, I said don't worry about it.
221
00:11:41,492 --> 00:11:43,958
It was my idea to move to
Cali in the first place.
222
00:11:43,959 --> 00:11:46,221
Plus, I'm the one with the
rich parents, so whatevs.
223
00:11:46,222 --> 00:11:48,049
[Ford chuckles]
224
00:11:48,050 --> 00:11:50,660
Seriously, bro, man, I'm just so glad
225
00:11:50,661 --> 00:11:52,357
we're out here together.
226
00:11:52,358 --> 00:11:55,586
You and me, man, living the dream!
227
00:11:56,867 --> 00:11:58,201
[laughs]
228
00:11:58,757 --> 00:11:59,957
[sighs]
229
00:12:01,831 --> 00:12:03,107
You know what I mean?
230
00:12:03,108 --> 00:12:05,786
[ethereal music]
231
00:12:15,056 --> 00:12:16,381
Know what?
232
00:12:16,382 --> 00:12:18,370
Why don't we cut the bullshit
233
00:12:18,994 --> 00:12:21,581
and go over into those
bushes over there and fuck?
234
00:12:24,065 --> 00:12:25,086
[snapping]
235
00:12:25,087 --> 00:12:26,463
- You all right?
- Yeah.
236
00:12:27,155 --> 00:12:28,393
Yup.
237
00:12:28,394 --> 00:12:29,873
You stoned or something?
238
00:12:29,874 --> 00:12:31,606
[chuckles]
239
00:12:32,620 --> 00:12:34,553
- You ready to head back down?
- Yeah, yeah.
240
00:12:34,554 --> 00:12:35,537
- All right.
- Mm-hm.
241
00:12:35,538 --> 00:12:36,777
I'll race you to the bottom.
242
00:12:36,778 --> 00:12:37,851
Mm-hm.
243
00:12:38,771 --> 00:12:39,839
Mm-hm.
244
00:12:39,840 --> 00:12:42,866
["Gosh" by Jamie xx]
245
00:12:47,392 --> 00:12:49,481
You home already? I thought
you had a coffee date.
246
00:12:51,266 --> 00:12:52,722
[Amber sighs]
247
00:12:52,723 --> 00:12:56,379
I did. I barely sat down
and the guy asked me if
248
00:12:56,380 --> 00:12:57,835
I would rim him.
249
00:12:59,100 --> 00:13:02,036
- Oh.
- Hmm.
250
00:13:02,037 --> 00:13:04,003
What are you doing?
251
00:13:04,004 --> 00:13:07,152
Just memorizing my lines
for acting class tomorrow.
252
00:13:08,179 --> 00:13:11,654
I feel like guys on Tinder
are so used to getting sex
253
00:13:11,655 --> 00:13:13,202
that they don't even
make an effort anymore.
254
00:13:13,203 --> 00:13:16,137
Like, this one guy, he
sent me the martini emoji,
255
00:13:16,138 --> 00:13:19,444
then the eggplant, then just
expected me to fuck him.
256
00:13:19,445 --> 00:13:20,844
Maybe he was foreign?
257
00:13:21,344 --> 00:13:24,841
I've just encountered a
lot of assholes on there.
258
00:13:24,842 --> 00:13:26,460
It's a numbers game.
259
00:13:26,461 --> 00:13:28,453
I mean, you have a lot of asshole dick,
260
00:13:28,454 --> 00:13:31,639
but you also have dick
of every other kind too.
261
00:13:31,640 --> 00:13:35,356
Yeah, I know, which is like
dicks flying at me 24/7.
262
00:13:35,357 --> 00:13:36,890
Exactly.
263
00:13:37,769 --> 00:13:39,856
I don't know, I might delete it.
264
00:13:39,857 --> 00:13:43,599
Maybe it's true, you can't
find romance through a screen.
265
00:13:43,600 --> 00:13:45,645
That is something that old people say
266
00:13:45,646 --> 00:13:48,169
because they resent the fact
that we don't have to go
267
00:13:48,170 --> 00:13:50,954
and troll gross bars
for sex like they did.
268
00:13:50,955 --> 00:13:52,652
Let me see your profile.
269
00:13:52,653 --> 00:13:54,285
Come here.
270
00:14:02,250 --> 00:14:04,600
You look like you're
hosting a reality show
271
00:14:04,601 --> 00:14:08,587
called Extreme Brunch, or something.
272
00:14:09,474 --> 00:14:14,325
Do you have like, any photos
of you wearing less clothing?
273
00:14:14,326 --> 00:14:18,500
Like, like showing less personality?
274
00:14:20,507 --> 00:14:24,292
Pretty cool that producer
coming up to me today, huh?
275
00:14:24,293 --> 00:14:26,105
Yeah, incredible.
276
00:14:26,106 --> 00:14:28,602
Yeah, it's like I've only
been out here six months
277
00:14:28,603 --> 00:14:31,299
and things are already
starting to happen for me.
278
00:14:31,300 --> 00:14:33,083
[sighs] So, Sev.
279
00:14:33,084 --> 00:14:34,379
Mm-hmm?
280
00:14:35,246 --> 00:14:36,957
We've been seeing each other a while now
281
00:14:36,958 --> 00:14:41,617
and I was wondering if...
282
00:14:42,478 --> 00:14:44,675
it was cool that I called
you my girlfriend.
283
00:14:45,292 --> 00:14:47,054
You can call me whatever you want.
284
00:14:47,055 --> 00:14:49,143
I'm not precious about the terminology.
285
00:14:49,144 --> 00:14:51,930
Okay, so uh, we're like,
286
00:14:52,973 --> 00:14:54,430
exclusive, then?
287
00:14:54,431 --> 00:14:56,632
Ford, we've discussed this.
288
00:14:56,633 --> 00:14:58,152
You know I believe that monogamy
289
00:14:58,153 --> 00:14:59,849
is a form of social control,
290
00:14:59,850 --> 00:15:01,797
which is contrary to our nature.
291
00:15:02,375 --> 00:15:03,716
What?
292
00:15:03,717 --> 00:15:06,334
For centuries, humans
migrated in egalitarian
293
00:15:06,335 --> 00:15:09,348
hunter-gatherer groups
and shared everything,
294
00:15:09,349 --> 00:15:12,557
food, childcare, sexual partners.
295
00:15:12,558 --> 00:15:14,342
They were very promiscuous
296
00:15:14,343 --> 00:15:16,561
and it strengthened their relationships,
297
00:15:16,562 --> 00:15:18,302
but then agriculture came along
298
00:15:18,303 --> 00:15:20,087
and people became obsessed
299
00:15:20,088 --> 00:15:22,587
with ownership and private property.
300
00:15:23,374 --> 00:15:24,770
Oh, when was that?
301
00:15:25,370 --> 00:15:27,795
About 10,000 years ago.
302
00:15:28,270 --> 00:15:29,641
Oh.
303
00:15:30,643 --> 00:15:31,905
Is this uh...
304
00:15:32,395 --> 00:15:35,375
Is this about me not being
smart enough for you?
305
00:15:35,930 --> 00:15:38,670
I know you're a rocket scientist and...
306
00:15:38,671 --> 00:15:40,542
Astrobiological theorist.
307
00:15:40,543 --> 00:15:42,283
And no, Ford,
308
00:15:42,284 --> 00:15:44,938
I actually think you're extraordinary.
309
00:15:44,939 --> 00:15:48,965
Plus, you have the world's
most magnificent cock.
310
00:15:51,141 --> 00:15:52,180
Thanks.
311
00:15:52,181 --> 00:15:54,556
It's so magnificent, in fact,
312
00:15:54,557 --> 00:15:57,009
I'd feel guilty keeping
it all to myself.
313
00:15:57,010 --> 00:15:59,300
Modern relationships don't last
314
00:15:59,301 --> 00:16:02,259
because we expect too
much of our partners.
315
00:16:02,260 --> 00:16:04,738
They need to fulfill us emotionally,
316
00:16:04,739 --> 00:16:06,786
satisfy us sexually.
317
00:16:06,787 --> 00:16:09,654
That's a lot to ask of one person.
318
00:16:09,655 --> 00:16:14,512
Besides, future holds so
much chaos and uncertainty.
319
00:16:15,060 --> 00:16:17,664
We must relish our
freedom while it lasts.
320
00:16:18,665 --> 00:16:22,108
- Uh, what?
- Nothing.
321
00:16:24,849 --> 00:16:28,628
If you're saying what I
think it is you're saying,
322
00:16:29,608 --> 00:16:33,029
if you, you know, um,
if you want to give
323
00:16:33,030 --> 00:16:36,539
the open relationship thing a try,
324
00:16:38,410 --> 00:16:39,610
I'm down.
325
00:16:42,192 --> 00:16:43,392
Really?
326
00:16:43,393 --> 00:16:45,434
You're not just saying
that to make me happy?
327
00:16:46,334 --> 00:16:49,386
You know I have difficulties
reading social cues.
328
00:16:51,505 --> 00:16:52,705
I mean it.
329
00:16:57,107 --> 00:16:59,606
Okay, now pretend like you're laughing
330
00:16:59,607 --> 00:17:02,145
at a cute guy over there being funny.
331
00:17:02,146 --> 00:17:04,539
But why am I wearing a
bikini in the living room?
332
00:17:04,540 --> 00:17:06,584
No one is thinking about that, Amber.
333
00:17:06,585 --> 00:17:09,627
This is literally just about
assessing your genetics.
334
00:17:11,787 --> 00:17:13,200
- [laughs]
- Oh, my God, okay,
335
00:17:13,201 --> 00:17:14,767
he's not, he's not like, that funny.
336
00:17:14,768 --> 00:17:17,500
- He's amusing.
- Okay.
337
00:17:18,446 --> 00:17:19,510
[chuckles]
338
00:17:19,511 --> 00:17:22,112
He's mildly amusing.
339
00:17:23,973 --> 00:17:25,173
- [camera snaps]
- Perfect.
340
00:17:29,326 --> 00:17:30,957
I look mean.
341
00:17:30,958 --> 00:17:32,784
No, you look confused.
342
00:17:32,785 --> 00:17:34,134
You look hot and confused.
343
00:17:34,135 --> 00:17:36,005
That's the ideal combination.
344
00:17:36,006 --> 00:17:37,137
- What?
- [phone rings]
345
00:17:37,138 --> 00:17:40,583
Oh, sorry. Hey.
346
00:17:40,584 --> 00:17:42,533
Oh, my God, are you watching it?
347
00:17:42,534 --> 00:17:44,813
- Watching what?
- Murderous Minds.
348
00:17:44,814 --> 00:17:46,450
I told you, my episode's on tonight.
349
00:17:46,451 --> 00:17:47,843
Oh, uh, shit!
350
00:17:47,844 --> 00:17:49,149
Oh, my God, that's right, babe!
351
00:17:49,150 --> 00:17:50,648
I totally forgot!
352
00:17:50,649 --> 00:17:52,413
That's so exciting!
353
00:17:52,414 --> 00:17:54,502
Fuck, Carly!
354
00:17:54,503 --> 00:17:55,938
Hope you didn't miss me.
355
00:17:55,939 --> 00:17:57,139
I've gotta set the DVR.
356
00:17:59,313 --> 00:18:01,204
- What's happening now?
- What do you mean?
357
00:18:01,205 --> 00:18:03,789
JETHRO: On the show, Jesus!
358
00:18:03,790 --> 00:18:06,862
Um, it, it looks like two cops
359
00:18:06,863 --> 00:18:09,430
are investigating like, a crime scene.
360
00:18:09,431 --> 00:18:12,198
Okay, shit, you're just
in time. It's my scene.
361
00:18:14,900 --> 00:18:16,828
What's happening now?
362
00:18:16,829 --> 00:18:18,574
They just zipped some
guy into a body bag.
363
00:18:18,575 --> 00:18:19,799
Yes!
364
00:18:19,800 --> 00:18:21,171
[grunts]
365
00:18:22,989 --> 00:18:24,588
Was that you?
366
00:18:24,589 --> 00:18:26,705
Uh yeah, what, couldn't you tell?
367
00:18:26,706 --> 00:18:30,057
No, you were amazing.
368
00:18:30,058 --> 00:18:32,095
Ah, I'm sure.
369
00:18:32,650 --> 00:18:33,987
Was I?
370
00:18:33,988 --> 00:18:35,195
Mm-hm.
371
00:18:35,196 --> 00:18:37,722
Yeah, you, you were great, Jethro.
372
00:18:37,723 --> 00:18:40,096
Oh, hey, Amber's there! Amber!
373
00:18:40,097 --> 00:18:43,532
- She uh, she see me too?
- Yup, she did.
374
00:18:43,533 --> 00:18:48,681
And uh, she thought you
were uh, very believable.
375
00:18:48,682 --> 00:18:52,225
14 fucking million
people watch that show.
376
00:18:52,226 --> 00:18:54,127
It's like I'm always telling you, Carly,
377
00:18:54,128 --> 00:18:55,750
it's about connecting the dots
378
00:18:55,751 --> 00:18:58,624
and maintaining a positive attitude.
379
00:18:59,324 --> 00:19:00,582
Which is why I really
wish you'd come with me
380
00:19:00,583 --> 00:19:02,280
to meditation class tonight.
381
00:19:02,281 --> 00:19:04,195
Yeah, I know, babe, but I told you,
382
00:19:04,196 --> 00:19:06,458
I need to work on my scene
for class tomorrow.
383
00:19:06,459 --> 00:19:10,332
Yeah, well, Car, the road to
failure is paved with excuses.
384
00:19:10,333 --> 00:19:12,116
[phone beeping]
385
00:19:12,117 --> 00:19:14,074
Hey, babe, can we continue this later?
386
00:19:14,075 --> 00:19:16,816
Uly's on the other line,
probably having a crisis.
387
00:19:16,817 --> 00:19:18,331
I'm almost to work anyway.
388
00:19:18,332 --> 00:19:20,246
Just wanted to share my
moment of glory with ya.
389
00:19:20,247 --> 00:19:21,575
You were awesome, babe.
390
00:19:21,576 --> 00:19:24,607
Thanks, I'll swing by after
work for another lesson.
391
00:19:24,608 --> 00:19:26,756
Great. Okay, see ya.
392
00:19:27,813 --> 00:19:30,917
- Hey.
- Gabriel is 43 fucking minutes late.
393
00:19:30,918 --> 00:19:33,742
Like I said, low bar.
394
00:19:33,743 --> 00:19:35,991
What should I do now? Should I leave?
395
00:19:35,992 --> 00:19:39,598
[chuckles] Are you kidding? You lost
all your dignity like, 28 minutes ago.
396
00:19:39,599 --> 00:19:41,931
I know. Am I tragic?
397
00:19:41,932 --> 00:19:43,321
Don't, don't answer that.
398
00:19:43,322 --> 00:19:44,800
I was really hoping to, you know,
399
00:19:44,801 --> 00:19:46,790
finally solve the mystery of, oh, shit.
400
00:19:46,791 --> 00:19:48,684
- CARLY: What? Is he there?
- Yeah.
401
00:19:48,685 --> 00:19:50,947
- I'll call you back.
- Okay, bye!
402
00:19:52,608 --> 00:19:56,511
Ulysses. Oh, man, I am so sorry.
403
00:19:56,512 --> 00:19:58,249
You must think that I'm
the hugest flake ever,
404
00:19:58,250 --> 00:20:00,978
but class got out late, Waze
sent me to the wrong address,
405
00:20:00,979 --> 00:20:03,211
- and, and my phone died...
- It's, it's okay, it's okay...
406
00:20:03,212 --> 00:20:04,751
Don't worry about it.
407
00:20:04,752 --> 00:20:06,997
Seriously though, I'm big
on first impressions
408
00:20:06,998 --> 00:20:09,708
and I feel so fucking bad.
409
00:20:10,541 --> 00:20:12,192
Well, you're here now, right?
410
00:20:12,874 --> 00:20:14,156
That's, that's all that matters.
411
00:20:14,157 --> 00:20:15,440
Yeah.
412
00:20:15,441 --> 00:20:17,944
[upbeat music]
413
00:20:21,339 --> 00:20:25,125
["Diamond Veins" by French 79]
414
00:20:43,666 --> 00:20:49,134
♪ Blood felt, joy of life ♪
415
00:20:50,673 --> 00:20:51,691
Whoa.
416
00:20:51,692 --> 00:20:53,631
Holy crap, baby.
417
00:20:53,632 --> 00:20:54,871
[Carly chuckles]
418
00:20:54,872 --> 00:20:57,265
Hey, Smokey. You miss me?
419
00:20:57,266 --> 00:20:58,476
Sure did.
420
00:20:58,477 --> 00:21:00,964
I want to drink you up
like a piña colada.
421
00:21:00,965 --> 00:21:05,838
Good, because I've been
a really bad girl.
422
00:21:05,839 --> 00:21:08,058
- [loud slap]
- [gasps] Ooh!
423
00:21:08,059 --> 00:21:10,147
- [loud slap]
- Ah!
424
00:21:10,148 --> 00:21:11,583
- [loud slap]
- [moans]
425
00:21:11,584 --> 00:21:14,320
NERD: I really want to get
to know you, the real you.
426
00:21:14,321 --> 00:21:16,603
Are you sure you just
don't want me to like,
427
00:21:16,604 --> 00:21:18,012
finger myself or something?
428
00:21:18,013 --> 00:21:19,703
Could we just talk first?
429
00:21:20,419 --> 00:21:22,814
Like, what do you like most
about being a cam girl?
430
00:21:23,727 --> 00:21:29,187
Well, I uh, I have always wanted
a job I could do lying down.
431
00:21:29,188 --> 00:21:30,389
Hm.
432
00:21:31,366 --> 00:21:32,711
Show me!
433
00:21:32,712 --> 00:21:35,250
Show me, you deviant little whore.
434
00:21:35,251 --> 00:21:37,392
You're so pitiful and weak!
435
00:21:37,393 --> 00:21:39,584
Just looking at you makes me sick.
436
00:21:39,585 --> 00:21:41,439
Get on your knees!
437
00:21:41,440 --> 00:21:45,661
Damn. I so wish I hadn't scheduled
band practice for tonight.
438
00:21:45,662 --> 00:21:48,141
Ah, it, it's cool.
439
00:21:48,142 --> 00:21:49,795
It's just that a couple of weeks ago,
440
00:21:49,796 --> 00:21:52,363
I, I declared this embargo on hookups.
441
00:21:52,364 --> 00:21:54,322
I mean, you know they're fun, obviously,
442
00:21:54,323 --> 00:21:59,740
but I always just feel, well,
gross and pagan after.
443
00:21:59,741 --> 00:22:02,091
Yeah, no, uh, I know what you mean.
444
00:22:03,021 --> 00:22:05,115
So I, I made sure to make plans
445
00:22:05,116 --> 00:22:08,205
so that no matter how hot you were,
446
00:22:08,206 --> 00:22:12,030
I, you know, would have
to restrain myself.
447
00:22:13,843 --> 00:22:16,198
No, it's, it's okay, I totally get it.
448
00:22:18,761 --> 00:22:20,580
We can hang out soon
again, though, right?
449
00:22:21,252 --> 00:22:22,426
Definitely.
450
00:22:22,960 --> 00:22:25,222
- Oh, shit!
- What? What?
451
00:22:25,223 --> 00:22:28,268
I fucking forgot to charge my phone!
452
00:22:28,269 --> 00:22:32,422
I got so distracted, I can't
even text my band mates now.
453
00:22:32,949 --> 00:22:34,149
That sucks.
454
00:22:34,797 --> 00:22:39,033
I guess we'll jus... we'll
just have to hang out
455
00:22:41,479 --> 00:22:44,241
again soon...
456
00:22:44,242 --> 00:22:48,921
- [car horn honking]
- [men shouting]
457
00:22:51,750 --> 00:22:52,989
Come on.
458
00:22:52,990 --> 00:22:55,754
[gentle music]
459
00:23:01,281 --> 00:23:02,825
No, wait.
460
00:23:02,826 --> 00:23:04,174
- What?
- [sighs]
461
00:23:05,350 --> 00:23:06,983
I'm not blowing this, am I?
462
00:23:07,984 --> 00:23:09,255
What do you, What do you mean?
463
00:23:10,051 --> 00:23:12,138
Well, I'm gonna see you again, right?
464
00:23:12,139 --> 00:23:13,749
I mean, I'm not fucking
this up doing this?
465
00:23:13,750 --> 00:23:16,153
No, no, no, you're not fucking this up.
466
00:23:16,616 --> 00:23:20,031
Good, 'cause I seriously cannot
control myself right now.
467
00:23:22,919 --> 00:23:24,482
Handjobs only, though?
468
00:23:25,022 --> 00:23:26,222
What?
469
00:23:26,742 --> 00:23:28,265
For tonight, just handjobs?
470
00:23:29,302 --> 00:23:30,608
And save the rest for later?
471
00:23:31,269 --> 00:23:32,987
Yeah. Yeah.
472
00:23:33,374 --> 00:23:34,768
Okay, we need to hurry, though,
473
00:23:34,769 --> 00:23:37,221
'cause I literally only have
like, two minutes, okay?
474
00:23:40,799 --> 00:23:42,814
Oh, yeah, you like that, Worm?
475
00:23:42,815 --> 00:23:45,811
WORM: Mm-hm. Can you wiggle them?
476
00:23:45,812 --> 00:23:47,130
Like this, you mean?
477
00:23:47,131 --> 00:23:50,220
Yeah, keep wiggling. Keep wiggling.
478
00:23:50,221 --> 00:23:51,482
Worm, you know you need to ask me
479
00:23:51,483 --> 00:23:53,588
more respectfully than that.
480
00:23:53,589 --> 00:23:56,752
Please. Please wiggle your toes for me.
481
00:23:56,753 --> 00:23:58,011
CARLY: Much better.
482
00:23:58,571 --> 00:24:00,565
Hell yeah.
483
00:24:00,566 --> 00:24:01,884
Keep wiggling.
484
00:24:02,605 --> 00:24:04,542
More, more wiggle.
485
00:24:04,851 --> 00:24:06,323
Oh, God. [moans]
486
00:24:06,324 --> 00:24:07,870
[both moaning]
487
00:24:11,076 --> 00:24:12,320
- Oh!
- God!
488
00:24:12,321 --> 00:24:14,679
Oh, oh, oh fuck!
489
00:24:14,680 --> 00:24:16,768
[groaning]
490
00:24:16,769 --> 00:24:19,031
- Oh!
- Fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck!
491
00:24:19,032 --> 00:24:21,599
[both groan]
492
00:24:21,600 --> 00:24:24,364
[all groaning]
493
00:24:33,809 --> 00:24:36,246
[both panting]
494
00:24:36,644 --> 00:24:37,844
Fuck.
495
00:24:41,784 --> 00:24:43,706
MAGENTA: What can I
do for you, Mistress?
496
00:24:44,254 --> 00:24:45,515
I'm here to please you.
497
00:24:45,516 --> 00:24:46,975
I'll do anything you want.
498
00:24:48,911 --> 00:24:52,456
How about you do 30 naked pushups?
499
00:24:52,457 --> 00:24:54,371
Would that make Mistress happy?
500
00:24:54,372 --> 00:24:55,938
To be honest, no.
501
00:24:55,939 --> 00:24:58,027
I just... I don't really care.
502
00:24:58,028 --> 00:25:00,230
Well, what would make you truly happy?
503
00:25:00,231 --> 00:25:01,733
I'm here to serve you.
504
00:25:03,403 --> 00:25:04,603
Really?
505
00:25:06,711 --> 00:25:10,213
Do you want to run lines
with me for my acting class
506
00:25:10,214 --> 00:25:12,345
'cause I have to memorize
all these by tomorrow.
507
00:25:12,346 --> 00:25:14,652
Yeah, I'm gonna pass on that one.
508
00:25:14,653 --> 00:25:16,436
But you said you would do anything.
509
00:25:16,437 --> 00:25:18,090
Well, I know, but...
510
00:25:18,091 --> 00:25:19,570
Well, okay, well, what if I like,
511
00:25:19,571 --> 00:25:20,789
take my top off while I do it?
512
00:25:20,790 --> 00:25:21,833
Okay, sure.
513
00:25:21,834 --> 00:25:23,705
Cool. Great.
514
00:25:23,706 --> 00:25:24,836
Okay.
515
00:25:24,837 --> 00:25:29,275
So, you're Anne,
516
00:25:29,276 --> 00:25:31,411
and I'm Mary, okay?
517
00:25:32,607 --> 00:25:33,807
Okay.
518
00:25:35,740 --> 00:25:39,851
Do you feel as awful as you look?
519
00:25:39,852 --> 00:25:43,072
Why would you come here if all
you wanted to do was torment me?
520
00:25:43,073 --> 00:25:44,552
Hey, you're good.
521
00:25:44,553 --> 00:25:46,118
Hey!
522
00:25:46,119 --> 00:25:47,380
- [snaps]
- Stay in character!
523
00:25:47,381 --> 00:25:48,425
Next line.
524
00:25:48,426 --> 00:25:49,626
ULYSSES: Wow.
525
00:25:53,453 --> 00:25:55,388
That was kind of intense.
526
00:25:55,389 --> 00:25:56,590
Yeah.
527
00:25:57,153 --> 00:25:59,329
[panting]
528
00:26:04,421 --> 00:26:06,486
Seriously, I mean what was that?
529
00:26:06,487 --> 00:26:08,293
Was it, was it just me
or did, did it feel like
530
00:26:08,294 --> 00:26:11,509
the universe collapsed in on
itself for a second there?
531
00:26:11,510 --> 00:26:12,711
No, I felt it too.
532
00:26:14,779 --> 00:26:16,105
I'm almost afraid to see what happens
533
00:26:16,106 --> 00:26:17,928
when we actually have sex.
534
00:26:19,305 --> 00:26:22,894
Look, I, I realize that we just met
535
00:26:22,895 --> 00:26:26,985
and I, I don't want to sound too
psycho stalkery or anything,
536
00:26:26,986 --> 00:26:32,568
but something strange seems
to be going on here.
537
00:26:34,146 --> 00:26:35,951
Yeah.
538
00:26:35,952 --> 00:26:38,858
Yeah, I mean, it sort of...
it sort of feels like
539
00:26:39,935 --> 00:26:41,135
- fate.
- Fate.
540
00:26:46,768 --> 00:26:48,616
But I got to go, my band
mates are gonna kill me.
541
00:26:48,617 --> 00:26:50,487
Right, yeah, yeah. Yeah, okay.
542
00:26:50,488 --> 00:26:53,118
So uh, so when do I get to see you next?
543
00:26:53,713 --> 00:26:55,636
Well, whenever. I mean, whenever you...
544
00:26:55,637 --> 00:26:58,605
- How about tomorrow?
- Tomorrow's great.
545
00:26:59,518 --> 00:27:00,718
Cool.
546
00:27:01,739 --> 00:27:02,939
Oh, fuck.
547
00:27:07,484 --> 00:27:09,724
Okay, shit.
548
00:27:09,725 --> 00:27:10,738
Now I really got to go.
549
00:27:10,739 --> 00:27:13,055
Yeah, yeah, yeah, all right.
550
00:27:14,273 --> 00:27:16,885
[gentle music]
551
00:27:33,292 --> 00:27:35,717
Holy fucking shit!
552
00:27:37,383 --> 00:27:38,361
- [loud crash]
- [yelps]
553
00:27:38,362 --> 00:27:39,562
[loud thud]
554
00:27:43,563 --> 00:27:45,384
Ow!
555
00:28:14,203 --> 00:28:17,182
[ethereal music]
556
00:28:17,183 --> 00:28:18,729
Help me!
557
00:28:20,470 --> 00:28:22,037
Please!
558
00:28:29,174 --> 00:28:30,374
Please, help me!
559
00:28:32,767 --> 00:28:33,967
No!
560
00:28:35,224 --> 00:28:36,854
Oh, God!
561
00:28:36,855 --> 00:28:39,228
No! No!
562
00:28:42,269 --> 00:28:43,995
[groaning]
563
00:28:46,017 --> 00:28:47,976
[groaning]
564
00:28:51,335 --> 00:28:52,728
Oh, God, no!
565
00:28:54,112 --> 00:28:55,312
No!
566
00:29:02,120 --> 00:29:03,320
No!
567
00:29:04,296 --> 00:29:05,496
Help me!
568
00:29:06,864 --> 00:29:08,146
Please!
569
00:29:08,147 --> 00:29:09,191
Help me!
570
00:29:09,192 --> 00:29:10,192
[hisses loudly]
571
00:29:10,193 --> 00:29:11,977
[screams]
572
00:29:11,978 --> 00:29:18,139
Sync and corrections by btsix
www.addic7ed.com
573
00:29:28,146 --> 00:29:32,040
♪ Give it away now, girl ♪
574
00:29:32,041 --> 00:29:35,153
♪ Can't hold ♪
39729
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