Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:07,905 --> 00:00:10,484
[Ulysses Voiceover] I've always
had a simultaneous fear of,
2
00:00:10,485 --> 00:00:12,662
and attraction toward, the unknown.
3
00:00:13,872 --> 00:00:16,334
And in these fucking
dark and scary times,
4
00:00:16,335 --> 00:00:20,194
it's easy to adopt a "What
difference does it make?" attitude.
5
00:00:20,970 --> 00:00:23,910
So I often find myself
in these situations
6
00:00:23,911 --> 00:00:27,727
where my heart's pounding so
fast I can barely breathe.
7
00:00:28,689 --> 00:00:33,067
And I can't tell if it's
excitement or terror or both.
8
00:00:33,068 --> 00:00:34,671
- No!
- It's not like I'm brave
9
00:00:34,672 --> 00:00:37,220
or anything, it's more
10
00:00:38,172 --> 00:00:39,923
reckless stupidity,
11
00:00:41,123 --> 00:00:42,650
an adrenaline fix,
12
00:00:43,699 --> 00:00:47,115
throwing myself into the
void to see what happens.
13
00:00:53,258 --> 00:00:54,854
No!
14
00:00:55,760 --> 00:00:57,089
Help me!
15
00:00:58,045 --> 00:01:00,134
[man groans]
16
00:01:01,527 --> 00:01:04,052
[screams]
17
00:01:04,053 --> 00:01:05,377
[Ulysses grunting]
18
00:01:05,378 --> 00:01:08,423
Harder! Harder!
19
00:01:08,424 --> 00:01:09,471
- [door thuds]
- Dave?
20
00:01:09,472 --> 00:01:10,512
Oh, shit!
21
00:01:10,513 --> 00:01:11,703
My husband's home!
22
00:01:11,704 --> 00:01:12,916
Oh, shit.
23
00:01:12,917 --> 00:01:15,149
[stammers] What should I do?
24
00:01:17,717 --> 00:01:19,152
DAVE'S HUSBAND: Dave, where are you?!
25
00:01:19,153 --> 00:01:20,588
DAVE: In here, babe.
26
00:01:21,661 --> 00:01:23,118
- [Ulysses yelps]
- [loud thud]
27
00:01:35,579 --> 00:01:37,840
[Ulysses Voiceover] So yeah,
I realized that one day
28
00:01:37,841 --> 00:01:39,725
these crazy adventures
will probably get me
29
00:01:39,726 --> 00:01:42,485
into some gigantic trouble
I can't get out of.
30
00:01:42,486 --> 00:01:44,840
_
31
00:01:44,841 --> 00:01:46,809
But it's almost like
I can't help myself.
32
00:01:46,810 --> 00:01:48,922
["Star Roving" by Slowdive]
33
00:01:50,908 --> 00:01:53,911
I do shit sometimes and I
really don't know why.
34
00:01:57,104 --> 00:01:58,744
To avoid boredom, I guess.
35
00:02:00,455 --> 00:02:01,828
To feel alive.
36
00:02:03,502 --> 00:02:05,721
Just for the fucking fuck of it.
37
00:02:06,270 --> 00:02:12,270
Sync and corrections by btsix
www.addic7ed.com
38
00:02:20,334 --> 00:02:24,444
♪ Give it away now, girl ♪
39
00:02:24,445 --> 00:02:30,445
♪ Can't hold down tonight ♪
40
00:02:46,501 --> 00:02:49,524
[panting]
41
00:02:49,525 --> 00:02:50,726
Ah.
42
00:02:53,277 --> 00:02:54,477
Sorry, dude.
43
00:02:55,366 --> 00:02:56,566
Whatever.
44
00:02:57,586 --> 00:02:59,044
Hey, Severine.
45
00:03:00,262 --> 00:03:02,524
I thought you were sleeping out tonight.
46
00:03:02,525 --> 00:03:04,625
Yeah, uh, I'm not.
47
00:03:07,248 --> 00:03:10,455
Anyhoo, please, continue.
48
00:03:11,252 --> 00:03:12,661
Goodnight, Ulysses.
49
00:03:12,662 --> 00:03:14,078
Goodnight.
50
00:03:14,079 --> 00:03:15,603
Night, dude.
51
00:03:17,366 --> 00:03:20,700
ULYSSES: So, Ford and I have a
sort of strange relationship.
52
00:03:21,793 --> 00:03:24,962
We've been roommates since college
53
00:03:24,963 --> 00:03:28,289
and we kind of drunk messed
around once freshman year.
54
00:03:28,290 --> 00:03:31,031
I love him unconditionally
55
00:03:31,032 --> 00:03:34,730
and if he had even one
sexually ambiguous molecule
56
00:03:34,731 --> 00:03:36,654
in his body, we'd probably be married,
57
00:03:36,655 --> 00:03:40,518
but Ford's that truly rare Kinsey zero
58
00:03:40,519 --> 00:03:43,391
in contrast to my ever oscillating four,
59
00:03:43,392 --> 00:03:45,610
which means I'm not so totally queer
60
00:03:45,611 --> 00:03:49,063
that I haven't rubbed out a few
fantasizing about Severine.
61
00:03:49,064 --> 00:03:52,762
Everything in my life right
now is a question mark,
62
00:03:52,763 --> 00:03:56,022
which pretty much explains
what this thing is about.
63
00:03:56,023 --> 00:03:57,636
It's definitely not a vlog.
64
00:03:57,637 --> 00:04:01,409
It's more of a place to
download the random shit
65
00:04:01,410 --> 00:04:04,652
that's in my head to keep it
from like [lips pop] exploding.
66
00:04:04,653 --> 00:04:09,042
Back in school, I thought
I wanted to be an actor,
67
00:04:09,043 --> 00:04:11,810
but once I got to LA,
I quickly discovered
68
00:04:11,811 --> 00:04:14,161
that's probably the lamest,
most soul-crushing thing
69
00:04:14,162 --> 00:04:15,567
I could do with my life.
70
00:04:15,568 --> 00:04:18,339
And Ford is that sad LA cliché,
71
00:04:18,340 --> 00:04:19,912
an aspiring screenwriter.
72
00:04:19,913 --> 00:04:23,474
But movies are even more
irrelevant now than books.
73
00:04:23,475 --> 00:04:27,230
It's all stupid superheroes
and YA bullshit.
74
00:04:27,231 --> 00:04:29,602
And thanks to Instagram,
art and photography,
75
00:04:29,603 --> 00:04:31,874
all of that's pretty
much obsolete now too,
76
00:04:31,875 --> 00:04:33,559
so lacking a better outlet,
77
00:04:33,560 --> 00:04:38,382
here I am talking to myself in the dark.
78
00:04:45,993 --> 00:04:47,761
But also,
79
00:04:47,762 --> 00:04:50,940
there's something weird going on
80
00:04:50,941 --> 00:04:55,436
that I feel I need to document.
81
00:04:58,877 --> 00:05:00,552
I've been having this nightmare,
82
00:05:00,553 --> 00:05:02,816
the same one over and over,
83
00:05:02,817 --> 00:05:05,172
two or three times a
week for the past month.
84
00:05:05,173 --> 00:05:06,219
MAN: No!
85
00:05:06,220 --> 00:05:08,107
[Ulysses Voiceover] And it's
so vivid and freakishly real
86
00:05:08,108 --> 00:05:12,132
that when I wake up, it's still
there hovering over me like
87
00:05:12,133 --> 00:05:14,090
it's not just a dream,
88
00:05:14,091 --> 00:05:17,311
like it's trying to tell me something.
89
00:05:17,312 --> 00:05:20,701
Maybe smoke a smidge
less pot before bedtime?
90
00:05:20,702 --> 00:05:22,009
Carly, I'm being serious.
91
00:05:22,010 --> 00:05:23,923
Don't you ever get bizarre premonitions?
92
00:05:24,656 --> 00:05:28,322
- No.
- Well, I do and I'm a double Scorpio.
93
00:05:28,323 --> 00:05:30,137
It's the most psychic of all the signs.
94
00:05:30,138 --> 00:05:33,457
And I've had premonitions
before, but this is different.
95
00:05:33,458 --> 00:05:36,712
It's like we're teetering on the
brink of total annihilation.
96
00:05:36,713 --> 00:05:40,064
CARLY: Okay, well, that's
every fucking day now
97
00:05:40,065 --> 00:05:42,766
in this tragic shit show
era we're living in.
98
00:05:42,767 --> 00:05:46,005
But anyway, are you still
cyber-stalking that guy?
99
00:05:46,006 --> 00:05:47,634
- Gabriel.
- Mm.
100
00:05:48,300 --> 00:05:50,970
Yeah. We were supposed to
hang out last night, but...
101
00:05:50,971 --> 00:05:54,153
Oh, let me guess, he flaked.
102
00:05:55,089 --> 00:06:00,115
Hey, look, this guy's a
gnarly 300-pound catfish.
103
00:06:00,116 --> 00:06:02,023
That's why I've been pushing
to meet in real life.
104
00:06:02,024 --> 00:06:03,198
Look, check it out.
105
00:06:03,199 --> 00:06:06,113
- Oh. He is pretty.
- Right?
106
00:06:06,114 --> 00:06:09,421
I know it sounds hokey, but I just get
this vibe that we're destined to be.
107
00:06:09,422 --> 00:06:11,453
Okay, double Scorpio.
108
00:06:11,454 --> 00:06:14,542
Honestly, just looking at him
makes me dizzy and hard.
109
00:06:14,543 --> 00:06:16,239
You know, when I first met Jethro,
110
00:06:16,240 --> 00:06:18,807
seeing him sneeze would make me cum,
111
00:06:18,808 --> 00:06:21,679
but now, like uh, last night,
in the middle of fucking,
112
00:06:21,680 --> 00:06:27,829
Jethro leans in and for some
ungodly reason, whispers...
113
00:06:27,830 --> 00:06:29,687
Mm, teach me, baby, teach me.
114
00:06:29,688 --> 00:06:31,042
- What?
- [Jethro moans]
115
00:06:31,043 --> 00:06:32,062
Teach me!
116
00:06:32,063 --> 00:06:34,039
Is that something you
got from a bad porno?
117
00:06:34,040 --> 00:06:35,389
Oh, come on, baby!
118
00:06:35,390 --> 00:06:37,307
Yeah, teach me how to drive you wild!
119
00:06:37,308 --> 00:06:38,668
Yes, baby!
120
00:06:38,669 --> 00:06:40,222
Make me a student!
121
00:06:40,223 --> 00:06:42,134
I'm a vessel for your pleasure!
122
00:06:42,135 --> 00:06:43,416
- [groans]
- Yeah!
123
00:06:43,417 --> 00:06:45,094
Ah, teach me, baby!
124
00:06:45,095 --> 00:06:46,051
- Come on, yeah!
- Can you just slow down
125
00:06:46,052 --> 00:06:47,304
a little bit, please?!
126
00:06:47,305 --> 00:06:49,054
Teach me, baby! Teach me!
127
00:06:49,055 --> 00:06:51,187
- Oh, shit.
- And it gets worse.
128
00:06:51,188 --> 00:06:54,725
He wants me to go to his fucking
meditation class tonight.
129
00:06:54,726 --> 00:06:56,469
But meditating gives you anxiety.
130
00:06:56,470 --> 00:06:57,497
Yeah, I know.
131
00:06:57,498 --> 00:07:00,802
It's so easy for him. His brain,
his natural resting state,
132
00:07:00,803 --> 00:07:03,765
is just a blank void of nothingness.
133
00:07:03,766 --> 00:07:06,115
- [phone buzzes]
- [Carly sighs]
134
00:07:06,116 --> 00:07:07,899
Is it the catfish?
135
00:07:07,900 --> 00:07:09,727
Oh, shit, really? What'd he say?
136
00:07:09,728 --> 00:07:11,599
That he wants to meet tonight.
137
00:07:11,600 --> 00:07:15,211
Okay, well, my advice, set the bar low.
138
00:07:15,212 --> 00:07:18,095
Very low.
139
00:07:19,911 --> 00:07:24,220
♪ Sanctify the love
that you crave, crave ♪
140
00:07:24,221 --> 00:07:29,138
♪ Oh, and I won't, and I won't,
and I won't be ashamed ♪
141
00:07:29,139 --> 00:07:31,836
♪ Sanctify my sins when I pray ♪
142
00:07:31,837 --> 00:07:35,292
♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪
143
00:07:35,293 --> 00:07:40,085
- ♪ When I pray ♪
- ♪ Oh, oh, oh ♪
144
00:07:41,189 --> 00:07:43,833
♪ You'll find redemption ♪
145
00:07:43,834 --> 00:07:45,035
Hey.
146
00:07:45,867 --> 00:07:47,266
How's the script coming?
147
00:07:48,308 --> 00:07:50,028
I've seen you here before.
148
00:07:50,029 --> 00:07:51,230
Oh.
149
00:07:52,184 --> 00:07:53,815
It's going great.
150
00:07:53,816 --> 00:07:56,148
- You a writer too?
- No.
151
00:07:56,149 --> 00:07:57,650
Actually, I'm a producer.
152
00:07:57,651 --> 00:08:01,147
Oh, no shit. Cool.
153
00:08:01,599 --> 00:08:03,926
You should send me one of your scripts.
154
00:08:05,894 --> 00:08:08,133
- For real?
- Yes.
155
00:08:08,134 --> 00:08:11,415
You look like a ambitious,
hardworking young man.
156
00:08:12,690 --> 00:08:14,138
Email me.
157
00:08:14,845 --> 00:08:16,533
Oh, wow.
158
00:08:16,534 --> 00:08:19,653
Okay, Mr. Powers.
159
00:08:19,654 --> 00:08:22,652
Please. Barnabas.
160
00:08:25,634 --> 00:08:28,498
Ford. Ford Halstead.
161
00:08:28,499 --> 00:08:30,559
Great to meet you, Ford.
162
00:08:30,560 --> 00:08:33,518
Well, I'll let you get back to work.
163
00:08:33,519 --> 00:08:36,296
Cool! I'll email you.
164
00:08:36,297 --> 00:08:37,491
Looking forward to it.
165
00:08:42,443 --> 00:08:44,990
_
166
00:08:46,525 --> 00:08:48,377
_
167
00:08:49,049 --> 00:08:51,822
_
168
00:08:53,703 --> 00:08:55,032
_
169
00:08:55,033 --> 00:08:57,688
MAN: They keep fucking me.
170
00:08:59,212 --> 00:09:00,412
I tell them no,
171
00:09:01,766 --> 00:09:03,343
but they keep fucking me.
172
00:09:03,344 --> 00:09:05,457
They keep fucking me!
173
00:09:05,458 --> 00:09:06,565
Fucking me!
174
00:09:07,366 --> 00:09:08,998
And they won't stop.
175
00:09:13,039 --> 00:09:16,651
Please, make them stop.
176
00:09:18,338 --> 00:09:19,817
Make them stop.
177
00:09:40,335 --> 00:09:42,097
Severine Bordeaux.
178
00:09:42,098 --> 00:09:43,342
[scanner beeps]
179
00:10:03,913 --> 00:10:05,436
Hello, Severine.
180
00:10:07,003 --> 00:10:09,047
Lars. Klaus.
181
00:10:10,022 --> 00:10:11,958
Looks like I didn't miss anything.
182
00:10:11,959 --> 00:10:14,738
Yes, the man is running late as usual.
183
00:10:14,739 --> 00:10:17,959
I think they keep us waiting on
purpose, to build anticipation.
184
00:10:17,960 --> 00:10:20,815
And to make our work seem even
more highly classified than it is.
185
00:10:20,816 --> 00:10:23,534
Actually, I heard this new assignment
186
00:10:23,535 --> 00:10:25,603
is a genuine priority level one.
187
00:10:26,382 --> 00:10:27,795
Really?
188
00:10:27,796 --> 00:10:28,996
Who told you this?
189
00:10:29,907 --> 00:10:31,016
[Severine sighs]
190
00:10:31,017 --> 00:10:33,140
If I revealed my sources,
191
00:10:33,141 --> 00:10:34,918
I'd have to kill you.
192
00:10:36,632 --> 00:10:38,405
[groans]
193
00:10:41,571 --> 00:10:43,034
I don't know, Uly.
194
00:10:43,035 --> 00:10:45,726
Sometimes a dream is just a dream.
195
00:10:45,727 --> 00:10:48,533
Yeah, but then, but then sometimes,
196
00:10:49,580 --> 00:10:50,962
sometimes it's more.
197
00:10:51,317 --> 00:10:52,951
Dude, do you remember that time
198
00:10:52,952 --> 00:10:55,083
you were so convinced an
earthquake was coming?
199
00:10:55,084 --> 00:10:56,606
You went out, you bought a bunch of soup
200
00:10:56,607 --> 00:10:58,695
and water and batteries?
201
00:10:58,696 --> 00:10:59,908
[laughs]
202
00:10:59,909 --> 00:11:01,498
This is different than that.
203
00:11:02,157 --> 00:11:03,915
Is it?
204
00:11:03,916 --> 00:11:06,964
Anyway, huh, isn't it awesome
what happened today?
205
00:11:06,965 --> 00:11:08,092
What?
206
00:11:08,093 --> 00:11:10,646
That producer gave me his business card.
207
00:11:11,166 --> 00:11:12,348
Oh, right.
208
00:11:12,349 --> 00:11:14,235
So is he... is he for real?
209
00:11:14,236 --> 00:11:15,495
What do you mean?
210
00:11:15,496 --> 00:11:17,409
As in does he have credits?
211
00:11:17,410 --> 00:11:18,915
That, that aren't porn.
212
00:11:18,916 --> 00:11:21,283
Yeah. I already checked.
213
00:11:21,284 --> 00:11:23,894
Just be careful, okay? 'Cause he
could be a serial killer or...
214
00:11:23,895 --> 00:11:25,417
Okay, paranoid.
215
00:11:25,418 --> 00:11:29,552
♪ Do, do, do, do, do, do ♪
216
00:11:29,553 --> 00:11:32,990
Hey, so, um, I'm gonna be
a, a little bit behind
217
00:11:32,991 --> 00:11:34,803
on, on the rent again, this month.
218
00:11:34,804 --> 00:11:37,386
Ah, no big. I got it.
219
00:11:37,387 --> 00:11:39,898
I know, I just, I don't wanna be a scab.
220
00:11:39,899 --> 00:11:41,491
Hey, I said don't worry about it.
221
00:11:41,492 --> 00:11:43,958
It was my idea to move to
Cali in the first place.
222
00:11:43,959 --> 00:11:46,221
Plus, I'm the one with the
rich parents, so whatevs.
223
00:11:46,222 --> 00:11:48,049
[Ford chuckles]
224
00:11:48,050 --> 00:11:50,660
Seriously, bro, man, I'm just so glad
225
00:11:50,661 --> 00:11:52,357
we're out here together.
226
00:11:52,358 --> 00:11:55,586
You and me, man, living the dream!
227
00:11:56,867 --> 00:11:58,201
[laughs]
228
00:11:58,757 --> 00:11:59,957
[sighs]
229
00:12:01,831 --> 00:12:03,107
You know what I mean?
230
00:12:03,108 --> 00:12:05,786
[ethereal music]
231
00:12:15,056 --> 00:12:16,381
Know what?
232
00:12:16,382 --> 00:12:18,370
Why don't we cut the bullshit
233
00:12:18,994 --> 00:12:21,581
and go over into those
bushes over there and fuck?
234
00:12:24,065 --> 00:12:25,086
[snapping]
235
00:12:25,087 --> 00:12:26,463
- You all right?
- Yeah.
236
00:12:27,155 --> 00:12:28,393
Yup.
237
00:12:28,394 --> 00:12:29,873
You stoned or something?
238
00:12:29,874 --> 00:12:31,606
[chuckles]
239
00:12:32,620 --> 00:12:34,553
- You ready to head back down?
- Yeah, yeah.
240
00:12:34,554 --> 00:12:35,537
- All right.
- Mm-hm.
241
00:12:35,538 --> 00:12:36,777
I'll race you to the bottom.
242
00:12:36,778 --> 00:12:37,851
Mm-hm.
243
00:12:38,771 --> 00:12:39,839
Mm-hm.
244
00:12:39,840 --> 00:12:42,866
["Gosh" by Jamie xx]
245
00:12:47,392 --> 00:12:49,481
You home already? I thought
you had a coffee date.
246
00:12:51,266 --> 00:12:52,722
[Amber sighs]
247
00:12:52,723 --> 00:12:56,379
I did. I barely sat down
and the guy asked me if
248
00:12:56,380 --> 00:12:57,835
I would rim him.
249
00:12:59,100 --> 00:13:02,036
- Oh.
- Hmm.
250
00:13:02,037 --> 00:13:04,003
What are you doing?
251
00:13:04,004 --> 00:13:07,152
Just memorizing my lines
for acting class tomorrow.
252
00:13:08,179 --> 00:13:11,654
I feel like guys on Tinder
are so used to getting sex
253
00:13:11,655 --> 00:13:13,202
that they don't even
make an effort anymore.
254
00:13:13,203 --> 00:13:16,137
Like, this one guy, he
sent me the martini emoji,
255
00:13:16,138 --> 00:13:19,444
then the eggplant, then just
expected me to fuck him.
256
00:13:19,445 --> 00:13:20,844
Maybe he was foreign?
257
00:13:21,344 --> 00:13:24,841
I've just encountered a
lot of assholes on there.
258
00:13:24,842 --> 00:13:26,460
It's a numbers game.
259
00:13:26,461 --> 00:13:28,453
I mean, you have a lot of asshole dick,
260
00:13:28,454 --> 00:13:31,639
but you also have dick
of every other kind too.
261
00:13:31,640 --> 00:13:35,356
Yeah, I know, which is like
dicks flying at me 24/7.
262
00:13:35,357 --> 00:13:36,890
Exactly.
263
00:13:37,769 --> 00:13:39,856
I don't know, I might delete it.
264
00:13:39,857 --> 00:13:43,599
Maybe it's true, you can't
find romance through a screen.
265
00:13:43,600 --> 00:13:45,645
That is something that old people say
266
00:13:45,646 --> 00:13:48,169
because they resent the fact
that we don't have to go
267
00:13:48,170 --> 00:13:50,954
and troll gross bars
for sex like they did.
268
00:13:50,955 --> 00:13:52,652
Let me see your profile.
269
00:13:52,653 --> 00:13:54,285
Come here.
270
00:14:02,250 --> 00:14:04,600
You look like you're
hosting a reality show
271
00:14:04,601 --> 00:14:08,587
called Extreme Brunch, or something.
272
00:14:09,474 --> 00:14:14,325
Do you have like, any photos
of you wearing less clothing?
273
00:14:14,326 --> 00:14:18,500
Like, like showing less personality?
274
00:14:20,507 --> 00:14:24,292
Pretty cool that producer
coming up to me today, huh?
275
00:14:24,293 --> 00:14:26,105
Yeah, incredible.
276
00:14:26,106 --> 00:14:28,602
Yeah, it's like I've only
been out here six months
277
00:14:28,603 --> 00:14:31,299
and things are already
starting to happen for me.
278
00:14:31,300 --> 00:14:33,083
[sighs] So, Sev.
279
00:14:33,084 --> 00:14:34,379
Mm-hmm?
280
00:14:35,246 --> 00:14:36,957
We've been seeing each other a while now
281
00:14:36,958 --> 00:14:41,617
and I was wondering if...
282
00:14:42,478 --> 00:14:44,675
it was cool that I called
you my girlfriend.
283
00:14:45,292 --> 00:14:47,054
You can call me whatever you want.
284
00:14:47,055 --> 00:14:49,143
I'm not precious about the terminology.
285
00:14:49,144 --> 00:14:51,930
Okay, so uh, we're like,
286
00:14:52,973 --> 00:14:54,430
exclusive, then?
287
00:14:54,431 --> 00:14:56,632
Ford, we've discussed this.
288
00:14:56,633 --> 00:14:58,152
You know I believe that monogamy
289
00:14:58,153 --> 00:14:59,849
is a form of social control,
290
00:14:59,850 --> 00:15:01,797
which is contrary to our nature.
291
00:15:02,375 --> 00:15:03,716
What?
292
00:15:03,717 --> 00:15:06,334
For centuries, humans
migrated in egalitarian
293
00:15:06,335 --> 00:15:09,348
hunter-gatherer groups
and shared everything,
294
00:15:09,349 --> 00:15:12,557
food, childcare, sexual partners.
295
00:15:12,558 --> 00:15:14,342
They were very promiscuous
296
00:15:14,343 --> 00:15:16,561
and it strengthened their relationships,
297
00:15:16,562 --> 00:15:18,302
but then agriculture came along
298
00:15:18,303 --> 00:15:20,087
and people became obsessed
299
00:15:20,088 --> 00:15:22,587
with ownership and private property.
300
00:15:23,374 --> 00:15:24,770
Oh, when was that?
301
00:15:25,370 --> 00:15:27,795
About 10,000 years ago.
302
00:15:28,270 --> 00:15:29,641
Oh.
303
00:15:30,643 --> 00:15:31,905
Is this uh...
304
00:15:32,395 --> 00:15:35,375
Is this about me not being
smart enough for you?
305
00:15:35,930 --> 00:15:38,670
I know you're a rocket scientist and...
306
00:15:38,671 --> 00:15:40,542
Astrobiological theorist.
307
00:15:40,543 --> 00:15:42,283
And no, Ford,
308
00:15:42,284 --> 00:15:44,938
I actually think you're extraordinary.
309
00:15:44,939 --> 00:15:48,965
Plus, you have the world's
most magnificent cock.
310
00:15:51,141 --> 00:15:52,180
Thanks.
311
00:15:52,181 --> 00:15:54,556
It's so magnificent, in fact,
312
00:15:54,557 --> 00:15:57,009
I'd feel guilty keeping
it all to myself.
313
00:15:57,010 --> 00:15:59,300
Modern relationships don't last
314
00:15:59,301 --> 00:16:02,259
because we expect too
much of our partners.
315
00:16:02,260 --> 00:16:04,738
They need to fulfill us emotionally,
316
00:16:04,739 --> 00:16:06,786
satisfy us sexually.
317
00:16:06,787 --> 00:16:09,654
That's a lot to ask of one person.
318
00:16:09,655 --> 00:16:14,512
Besides, future holds so
much chaos and uncertainty.
319
00:16:15,060 --> 00:16:17,664
We must relish our
freedom while it lasts.
320
00:16:18,665 --> 00:16:22,108
- Uh, what?
- Nothing.
321
00:16:24,849 --> 00:16:28,628
If you're saying what I
think it is you're saying,
322
00:16:29,608 --> 00:16:33,029
if you, you know, um,
if you want to give
323
00:16:33,030 --> 00:16:36,539
the open relationship thing a try,
324
00:16:38,410 --> 00:16:39,610
I'm down.
325
00:16:42,192 --> 00:16:43,392
Really?
326
00:16:43,393 --> 00:16:45,434
You're not just saying
that to make me happy?
327
00:16:46,334 --> 00:16:49,386
You know I have difficulties
reading social cues.
328
00:16:51,505 --> 00:16:52,705
I mean it.
329
00:16:57,107 --> 00:16:59,606
Okay, now pretend like you're laughing
330
00:16:59,607 --> 00:17:02,145
at a cute guy over there being funny.
331
00:17:02,146 --> 00:17:04,539
But why am I wearing a
bikini in the living room?
332
00:17:04,540 --> 00:17:06,584
No one is thinking about that, Amber.
333
00:17:06,585 --> 00:17:09,627
This is literally just about
assessing your genetics.
334
00:17:11,787 --> 00:17:13,200
- [laughs]
- Oh, my God, okay,
335
00:17:13,201 --> 00:17:14,767
he's not, he's not like, that funny.
336
00:17:14,768 --> 00:17:17,500
- He's amusing.
- Okay.
337
00:17:18,446 --> 00:17:19,510
[chuckles]
338
00:17:19,511 --> 00:17:22,112
He's mildly amusing.
339
00:17:23,973 --> 00:17:25,173
- [camera snaps]
- Perfect.
340
00:17:29,326 --> 00:17:30,957
I look mean.
341
00:17:30,958 --> 00:17:32,784
No, you look confused.
342
00:17:32,785 --> 00:17:34,134
You look hot and confused.
343
00:17:34,135 --> 00:17:36,005
That's the ideal combination.
344
00:17:36,006 --> 00:17:37,137
- What?
- [phone rings]
345
00:17:37,138 --> 00:17:40,583
Oh, sorry. Hey.
346
00:17:40,584 --> 00:17:42,533
Oh, my God, are you watching it?
347
00:17:42,534 --> 00:17:44,813
- Watching what?
- Murderous Minds.
348
00:17:44,814 --> 00:17:46,450
I told you, my episode's on tonight.
349
00:17:46,451 --> 00:17:47,843
Oh, uh, shit!
350
00:17:47,844 --> 00:17:49,149
Oh, my God, that's right, babe!
351
00:17:49,150 --> 00:17:50,648
I totally forgot!
352
00:17:50,649 --> 00:17:52,413
That's so exciting!
353
00:17:52,414 --> 00:17:54,502
Fuck, Carly!
354
00:17:54,503 --> 00:17:55,938
Hope you didn't miss me.
355
00:17:55,939 --> 00:17:57,139
I've gotta set the DVR.
356
00:17:59,313 --> 00:18:01,204
- What's happening now?
- What do you mean?
357
00:18:01,205 --> 00:18:03,789
JETHRO: On the show, Jesus!
358
00:18:03,790 --> 00:18:06,862
Um, it, it looks like two cops
359
00:18:06,863 --> 00:18:09,430
are investigating like, a crime scene.
360
00:18:09,431 --> 00:18:12,198
Okay, shit, you're just
in time. It's my scene.
361
00:18:14,900 --> 00:18:16,828
What's happening now?
362
00:18:16,829 --> 00:18:18,574
They just zipped some
guy into a body bag.
363
00:18:18,575 --> 00:18:19,799
Yes!
364
00:18:19,800 --> 00:18:21,171
[grunts]
365
00:18:22,989 --> 00:18:24,588
Was that you?
366
00:18:24,589 --> 00:18:26,705
Uh yeah, what, couldn't you tell?
367
00:18:26,706 --> 00:18:30,057
No, you were amazing.
368
00:18:30,058 --> 00:18:32,095
Ah, I'm sure.
369
00:18:32,650 --> 00:18:33,987
Was I?
370
00:18:33,988 --> 00:18:35,195
Mm-hm.
371
00:18:35,196 --> 00:18:37,722
Yeah, you, you were great, Jethro.
372
00:18:37,723 --> 00:18:40,096
Oh, hey, Amber's there! Amber!
373
00:18:40,097 --> 00:18:43,532
- She uh, she see me too?
- Yup, she did.
374
00:18:43,533 --> 00:18:48,681
And uh, she thought you
were uh, very believable.
375
00:18:48,682 --> 00:18:52,225
14 fucking million
people watch that show.
376
00:18:52,226 --> 00:18:54,127
It's like I'm always telling you, Carly,
377
00:18:54,128 --> 00:18:55,750
it's about connecting the dots
378
00:18:55,751 --> 00:18:58,624
and maintaining a positive attitude.
379
00:18:59,324 --> 00:19:00,582
Which is why I really
wish you'd come with me
380
00:19:00,583 --> 00:19:02,280
to meditation class tonight.
381
00:19:02,281 --> 00:19:04,195
Yeah, I know, babe, but I told you,
382
00:19:04,196 --> 00:19:06,458
I need to work on my scene
for class tomorrow.
383
00:19:06,459 --> 00:19:10,332
Yeah, well, Car, the road to
failure is paved with excuses.
384
00:19:10,333 --> 00:19:12,116
[phone beeping]
385
00:19:12,117 --> 00:19:14,074
Hey, babe, can we continue this later?
386
00:19:14,075 --> 00:19:16,816
Uly's on the other line,
probably having a crisis.
387
00:19:16,817 --> 00:19:18,331
I'm almost to work anyway.
388
00:19:18,332 --> 00:19:20,246
Just wanted to share my
moment of glory with ya.
389
00:19:20,247 --> 00:19:21,575
You were awesome, babe.
390
00:19:21,576 --> 00:19:24,607
Thanks, I'll swing by after
work for another lesson.
391
00:19:24,608 --> 00:19:26,756
Great. Okay, see ya.
392
00:19:27,813 --> 00:19:30,917
- Hey.
- Gabriel is 43 fucking minutes late.
393
00:19:30,918 --> 00:19:33,742
Like I said, low bar.
394
00:19:33,743 --> 00:19:35,991
What should I do now? Should I leave?
395
00:19:35,992 --> 00:19:39,598
[chuckles] Are you kidding? You lost
all your dignity like, 28 minutes ago.
396
00:19:39,599 --> 00:19:41,931
I know. Am I tragic?
397
00:19:41,932 --> 00:19:43,321
Don't, don't answer that.
398
00:19:43,322 --> 00:19:44,800
I was really hoping to, you know,
399
00:19:44,801 --> 00:19:46,790
finally solve the mystery of, oh, shit.
400
00:19:46,791 --> 00:19:48,684
- CARLY: What? Is he there?
- Yeah.
401
00:19:48,685 --> 00:19:50,947
- I'll call you back.
- Okay, bye!
402
00:19:52,608 --> 00:19:56,511
Ulysses. Oh, man, I am so sorry.
403
00:19:56,512 --> 00:19:58,249
You must think that I'm
the hugest flake ever,
404
00:19:58,250 --> 00:20:00,978
but class got out late, Waze
sent me to the wrong address,
405
00:20:00,979 --> 00:20:03,211
- and, and my phone died...
- It's, it's okay, it's okay...
406
00:20:03,212 --> 00:20:04,751
Don't worry about it.
407
00:20:04,752 --> 00:20:06,997
Seriously though, I'm big
on first impressions
408
00:20:06,998 --> 00:20:09,708
and I feel so fucking bad.
409
00:20:10,541 --> 00:20:12,192
Well, you're here now, right?
410
00:20:12,874 --> 00:20:14,156
That's, that's all that matters.
411
00:20:14,157 --> 00:20:15,440
Yeah.
412
00:20:15,441 --> 00:20:17,944
[upbeat music]
413
00:20:21,339 --> 00:20:25,125
["Diamond Veins" by French 79]
414
00:20:43,666 --> 00:20:49,134
♪ Blood felt, joy of life ♪
415
00:20:50,673 --> 00:20:51,691
Whoa.
416
00:20:51,692 --> 00:20:53,631
Holy crap, baby.
417
00:20:53,632 --> 00:20:54,871
[Carly chuckles]
418
00:20:54,872 --> 00:20:57,265
Hey, Smokey. You miss me?
419
00:20:57,266 --> 00:20:58,476
Sure did.
420
00:20:58,477 --> 00:21:00,964
I want to drink you up
like a piña colada.
421
00:21:00,965 --> 00:21:05,838
Good, because I've been
a really bad girl.
422
00:21:05,839 --> 00:21:08,058
- [loud slap]
- [gasps] Ooh!
423
00:21:08,059 --> 00:21:10,147
- [loud slap]
- Ah!
424
00:21:10,148 --> 00:21:11,583
- [loud slap]
- [moans]
425
00:21:11,584 --> 00:21:14,320
NERD: I really want to get
to know you, the real you.
426
00:21:14,321 --> 00:21:16,603
Are you sure you just
don't want me to like,
427
00:21:16,604 --> 00:21:18,012
finger myself or something?
428
00:21:18,013 --> 00:21:19,703
Could we just talk first?
429
00:21:20,419 --> 00:21:22,814
Like, what do you like most
about being a cam girl?
430
00:21:23,727 --> 00:21:29,187
Well, I uh, I have always wanted
a job I could do lying down.
431
00:21:29,188 --> 00:21:30,389
Hm.
432
00:21:31,366 --> 00:21:32,711
Show me!
433
00:21:32,712 --> 00:21:35,250
Show me, you deviant little whore.
434
00:21:35,251 --> 00:21:37,392
You're so pitiful and weak!
435
00:21:37,393 --> 00:21:39,584
Just looking at you makes me sick.
436
00:21:39,585 --> 00:21:41,439
Get on your knees!
437
00:21:41,440 --> 00:21:45,661
Damn. I so wish I hadn't scheduled
band practice for tonight.
438
00:21:45,662 --> 00:21:48,141
Ah, it, it's cool.
439
00:21:48,142 --> 00:21:49,795
It's just that a couple of weeks ago,
440
00:21:49,796 --> 00:21:52,363
I, I declared this embargo on hookups.
441
00:21:52,364 --> 00:21:54,322
I mean, you know they're fun, obviously,
442
00:21:54,323 --> 00:21:59,740
but I always just feel, well,
gross and pagan after.
443
00:21:59,741 --> 00:22:02,091
Yeah, no, uh, I know what you mean.
444
00:22:03,021 --> 00:22:05,115
So I, I made sure to make plans
445
00:22:05,116 --> 00:22:08,205
so that no matter how hot you were,
446
00:22:08,206 --> 00:22:12,030
I, you know, would have
to restrain myself.
447
00:22:13,843 --> 00:22:16,198
No, it's, it's okay, I totally get it.
448
00:22:18,761 --> 00:22:20,580
We can hang out soon
again, though, right?
449
00:22:21,252 --> 00:22:22,426
Definitely.
450
00:22:22,960 --> 00:22:25,222
- Oh, shit!
- What? What?
451
00:22:25,223 --> 00:22:28,268
I fucking forgot to charge my phone!
452
00:22:28,269 --> 00:22:32,422
I got so distracted, I can't
even text my band mates now.
453
00:22:32,949 --> 00:22:34,149
That sucks.
454
00:22:34,797 --> 00:22:39,033
I guess we'll jus... we'll
just have to hang out
455
00:22:41,479 --> 00:22:44,241
again soon...
456
00:22:44,242 --> 00:22:48,921
- [car horn honking]
- [men shouting]
457
00:22:51,750 --> 00:22:52,989
Come on.
458
00:22:52,990 --> 00:22:55,754
[gentle music]
459
00:23:01,281 --> 00:23:02,825
No, wait.
460
00:23:02,826 --> 00:23:04,174
- What?
- [sighs]
461
00:23:05,350 --> 00:23:06,983
I'm not blowing this, am I?
462
00:23:07,984 --> 00:23:09,255
What do you, What do you mean?
463
00:23:10,051 --> 00:23:12,138
Well, I'm gonna see you again, right?
464
00:23:12,139 --> 00:23:13,749
I mean, I'm not fucking
this up doing this?
465
00:23:13,750 --> 00:23:16,153
No, no, no, you're not fucking this up.
466
00:23:16,616 --> 00:23:20,031
Good, 'cause I seriously cannot
control myself right now.
467
00:23:22,919 --> 00:23:24,482
Handjobs only, though?
468
00:23:25,022 --> 00:23:26,222
What?
469
00:23:26,742 --> 00:23:28,265
For tonight, just handjobs?
470
00:23:29,302 --> 00:23:30,608
And save the rest for later?
471
00:23:31,269 --> 00:23:32,987
Yeah. Yeah.
472
00:23:33,374 --> 00:23:34,768
Okay, we need to hurry, though,
473
00:23:34,769 --> 00:23:37,221
'cause I literally only have
like, two minutes, okay?
474
00:23:40,799 --> 00:23:42,814
Oh, yeah, you like that, Worm?
475
00:23:42,815 --> 00:23:45,811
WORM: Mm-hm. Can you wiggle them?
476
00:23:45,812 --> 00:23:47,130
Like this, you mean?
477
00:23:47,131 --> 00:23:50,220
Yeah, keep wiggling. Keep wiggling.
478
00:23:50,221 --> 00:23:51,482
Worm, you know you need to ask me
479
00:23:51,483 --> 00:23:53,588
more respectfully than that.
480
00:23:53,589 --> 00:23:56,752
Please. Please wiggle your toes for me.
481
00:23:56,753 --> 00:23:58,011
CARLY: Much better.
482
00:23:58,571 --> 00:24:00,565
Hell yeah.
483
00:24:00,566 --> 00:24:01,884
Keep wiggling.
484
00:24:02,605 --> 00:24:04,542
More, more wiggle.
485
00:24:04,851 --> 00:24:06,323
Oh, God. [moans]
486
00:24:06,324 --> 00:24:07,870
[both moaning]
487
00:24:11,076 --> 00:24:12,320
- Oh!
- God!
488
00:24:12,321 --> 00:24:14,679
Oh, oh, oh fuck!
489
00:24:14,680 --> 00:24:16,768
[groaning]
490
00:24:16,769 --> 00:24:19,031
- Oh!
- Fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck!
491
00:24:19,032 --> 00:24:21,599
[both groan]
492
00:24:21,600 --> 00:24:24,364
[all groaning]
493
00:24:33,809 --> 00:24:36,246
[both panting]
494
00:24:36,644 --> 00:24:37,844
Fuck.
495
00:24:41,784 --> 00:24:43,706
MAGENTA: What can I
do for you, Mistress?
496
00:24:44,254 --> 00:24:45,515
I'm here to please you.
497
00:24:45,516 --> 00:24:46,975
I'll do anything you want.
498
00:24:48,911 --> 00:24:52,456
How about you do 30 naked pushups?
499
00:24:52,457 --> 00:24:54,371
Would that make Mistress happy?
500
00:24:54,372 --> 00:24:55,938
To be honest, no.
501
00:24:55,939 --> 00:24:58,027
I just... I don't really care.
502
00:24:58,028 --> 00:25:00,230
Well, what would make you truly happy?
503
00:25:00,231 --> 00:25:01,733
I'm here to serve you.
504
00:25:03,403 --> 00:25:04,603
Really?
505
00:25:06,711 --> 00:25:10,213
Do you want to run lines
with me for my acting class
506
00:25:10,214 --> 00:25:12,345
'cause I have to memorize
all these by tomorrow.
507
00:25:12,346 --> 00:25:14,652
Yeah, I'm gonna pass on that one.
508
00:25:14,653 --> 00:25:16,436
But you said you would do anything.
509
00:25:16,437 --> 00:25:18,090
Well, I know, but...
510
00:25:18,091 --> 00:25:19,570
Well, okay, well, what if I like,
511
00:25:19,571 --> 00:25:20,789
take my top off while I do it?
512
00:25:20,790 --> 00:25:21,833
Okay, sure.
513
00:25:21,834 --> 00:25:23,705
Cool. Great.
514
00:25:23,706 --> 00:25:24,836
Okay.
515
00:25:24,837 --> 00:25:29,275
So, you're Anne,
516
00:25:29,276 --> 00:25:31,411
and I'm Mary, okay?
517
00:25:32,607 --> 00:25:33,807
Okay.
518
00:25:35,740 --> 00:25:39,851
Do you feel as awful as you look?
519
00:25:39,852 --> 00:25:43,072
Why would you come here if all
you wanted to do was torment me?
520
00:25:43,073 --> 00:25:44,552
Hey, you're good.
521
00:25:44,553 --> 00:25:46,118
Hey!
522
00:25:46,119 --> 00:25:47,380
- [snaps]
- Stay in character!
523
00:25:47,381 --> 00:25:48,425
Next line.
524
00:25:48,426 --> 00:25:49,626
ULYSSES: Wow.
525
00:25:53,453 --> 00:25:55,388
That was kind of intense.
526
00:25:55,389 --> 00:25:56,590
Yeah.
527
00:25:57,153 --> 00:25:59,329
[panting]
528
00:26:04,421 --> 00:26:06,486
Seriously, I mean what was that?
529
00:26:06,487 --> 00:26:08,293
Was it, was it just me
or did, did it feel like
530
00:26:08,294 --> 00:26:11,509
the universe collapsed in on
itself for a second there?
531
00:26:11,510 --> 00:26:12,711
No, I felt it too.
532
00:26:14,779 --> 00:26:16,105
I'm almost afraid to see what happens
533
00:26:16,106 --> 00:26:17,928
when we actually have sex.
534
00:26:19,305 --> 00:26:22,894
Look, I, I realize that we just met
535
00:26:22,895 --> 00:26:26,985
and I, I don't want to sound too
psycho stalkery or anything,
536
00:26:26,986 --> 00:26:32,568
but something strange seems
to be going on here.
537
00:26:34,146 --> 00:26:35,951
Yeah.
538
00:26:35,952 --> 00:26:38,858
Yeah, I mean, it sort of...
it sort of feels like
539
00:26:39,935 --> 00:26:41,135
- fate.
- Fate.
540
00:26:46,768 --> 00:26:48,616
But I got to go, my band
mates are gonna kill me.
541
00:26:48,617 --> 00:26:50,487
Right, yeah, yeah. Yeah, okay.
542
00:26:50,488 --> 00:26:53,118
So uh, so when do I get to see you next?
543
00:26:53,713 --> 00:26:55,636
Well, whenever. I mean, whenever you...
544
00:26:55,637 --> 00:26:58,605
- How about tomorrow?
- Tomorrow's great.
545
00:26:59,518 --> 00:27:00,718
Cool.
546
00:27:01,739 --> 00:27:02,939
Oh, fuck.
547
00:27:07,484 --> 00:27:09,724
Okay, shit.
548
00:27:09,725 --> 00:27:10,738
Now I really got to go.
549
00:27:10,739 --> 00:27:13,055
Yeah, yeah, yeah, all right.
550
00:27:14,273 --> 00:27:16,885
[gentle music]
551
00:27:33,292 --> 00:27:35,717
Holy fucking shit!
552
00:27:37,383 --> 00:27:38,361
- [loud crash]
- [yelps]
553
00:27:38,362 --> 00:27:39,562
[loud thud]
554
00:27:43,563 --> 00:27:45,384
Ow!
555
00:28:14,203 --> 00:28:17,182
[ethereal music]
556
00:28:17,183 --> 00:28:18,729
Help me!
557
00:28:20,470 --> 00:28:22,037
Please!
558
00:28:29,174 --> 00:28:30,374
Please, help me!
559
00:28:32,767 --> 00:28:33,967
No!
560
00:28:35,224 --> 00:28:36,854
Oh, God!
561
00:28:36,855 --> 00:28:39,228
No! No!
562
00:28:42,269 --> 00:28:43,995
[groaning]
563
00:28:46,017 --> 00:28:47,976
[groaning]
564
00:28:51,335 --> 00:28:52,728
Oh, God, no!
565
00:28:54,112 --> 00:28:55,312
No!
566
00:29:02,120 --> 00:29:03,320
No!
567
00:29:04,296 --> 00:29:05,496
Help me!
568
00:29:06,864 --> 00:29:08,146
Please!
569
00:29:08,147 --> 00:29:09,191
Help me!
570
00:29:09,192 --> 00:29:10,192
[hisses loudly]
571
00:29:10,193 --> 00:29:11,977
[screams]
572
00:29:11,978 --> 00:29:18,139
Sync and corrections by btsix
www.addic7ed.com
573
00:29:28,146 --> 00:29:32,040
♪ Give it away now, girl ♪
574
00:29:32,041 --> 00:29:35,153
♪ Can't hold ♪
39729
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Danish
Dutch
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Galician
Georgian
German
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Irish
Italian
Javanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish (Latin American)
Swedish
Tajik
Tamil
Tatar
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Welsh
Wolof