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1
00:00:01,363 --> 00:00:03,858
Okay, folks, you might want
to put on some sunscreen.
2
00:00:03,901 --> 00:00:06,989
Up this high,
the trees start to thin out.
3
00:00:07,032 --> 00:00:08,512
Oh, this might be
a good place for a picture.
4
00:00:08,554 --> 00:00:09,611
Oh, let me go behind that rock.
5
00:00:09,654 --> 00:00:11,008
I'll change into my next look.
6
00:00:11,050 --> 00:00:12,066
Another one?
7
00:00:12,107 --> 00:00:14,392
He has to.
His Instagram follower demands it.
8
00:00:14,434 --> 00:00:15,238
Eagle!
9
00:00:15,280 --> 00:00:16,719
Oh, wait, false alarm.
10
00:00:16,761 --> 00:00:18,242
It's just a plastic bag in a tree.
11
00:00:18,283 --> 00:00:19,003
Eagle!
12
00:00:19,045 --> 00:00:20,483
Nope. Sorry.
13
00:00:20,526 --> 00:00:21,542
Bag fell.
14
00:00:22,810 --> 00:00:23,910
Every winter,
15
00:00:23,952 --> 00:00:26,236
I take a bird-watching
trip with my buddies...
16
00:00:26,279 --> 00:00:28,182
specifically to see a bald eagle.
17
00:00:28,225 --> 00:00:29,959
So far, no luck.
18
00:00:30,002 --> 00:00:33,302
This year, my buddies bailed...
back spasm, cracked hip.
19
00:00:33,344 --> 00:00:36,178
And I'm the idiot for
installing a shower chair.
20
00:00:36,221 --> 00:00:37,912
I was all set to go solo,
21
00:00:37,955 --> 00:00:40,620
when those three tagalongs
invited themselves.
22
00:00:40,662 --> 00:00:42,185
They invaded my territory
23
00:00:42,228 --> 00:00:44,723
like a bunch of bay-breasted warblers.
24
00:00:44,765 --> 00:00:46,923
Darned if I didn't feel
like a bay-breasted warbler
25
00:00:46,965 --> 00:00:50,391
horning in on Jay's trip,
but Gloria made us go.
26
00:00:50,434 --> 00:00:51,873
She was worried about my dad
27
00:00:51,914 --> 00:00:53,776
being out in the woods alone at his age,
28
00:00:53,819 --> 00:00:56,398
so she... she gently
nudged us to join him.
29
00:00:56,441 --> 00:00:58,979
Gloria, if my dad doesn't want us t...
30
00:00:59,022 --> 00:01:00,954
Hey, Dad, uh,
whatcha doin' this weekend?
31
00:01:01,048 --> 00:01:03,633
- Ah, little nature trip.
- Oh! Sounds like fun.
32
00:01:03,675 --> 00:01:04,521
- Count us in!
- Yes.
33
00:01:04,563 --> 00:01:06,424
Actually, I was looking
for a little alone time...
34
00:01:06,467 --> 00:01:09,978
Hey! Am I the only one with
bald eagles on the brain?
35
00:01:10,803 --> 00:01:12,305
You know what?
I think in about 10 minutes,
36
00:01:12,347 --> 00:01:15,519
the light's gonna be perfect for my
"Afternoon Adventurer" look.
37
00:01:15,562 --> 00:01:17,593
Okay, uh, before we head
deeper into the woods,
38
00:01:17,634 --> 00:01:20,977
I should warn you folks that there's
been several bear sightings in the area.
39
00:01:21,019 --> 00:01:23,261
- So if you happen to have any food with you...
- Got it!
40
00:01:26,096 --> 00:01:29,691
I was going to say you can store
it in this bear box... here.
41
00:01:29,734 --> 00:01:30,707
Oh. Um, okay.
42
00:01:30,748 --> 00:01:32,272
Well, then, talk amongst yourselves.
43
00:01:32,313 --> 00:01:33,710
It could take me a while
44
00:01:33,752 --> 00:01:35,782
to find where my manly
heave sent that heavy...
45
00:01:35,825 --> 00:01:37,940
Ah! Here it is.
Someone must've heaved it back.
46
00:01:37,982 --> 00:01:39,330
Thank you!
47
00:01:53,897 --> 00:01:55,112
Hello!
48
00:01:55,190 --> 00:01:57,640
Oh, hey, Gloria. Thanks for coming.
49
00:01:57,683 --> 00:01:58,946
It's gonna be such a fun girls' night...
50
00:01:58,989 --> 00:02:01,687
drinking wine, planning the nursery.
51
00:02:01,731 --> 00:02:02,993
Okay, I was going to surprise you,
52
00:02:03,037 --> 00:02:05,909
but I can't wait anymore.
53
00:02:05,953 --> 00:02:09,826
It's a handmade mobile
of great women in history!
54
00:02:09,870 --> 00:02:11,393
Eleanor Roosevelt,
55
00:02:11,436 --> 00:02:12,263
Rosa Parks!
56
00:02:12,307 --> 00:02:13,308
Ohh!
57
00:02:13,351 --> 00:02:15,963
I just hope it goes with the theme
that Dylan wants for the room.
58
00:02:16,006 --> 00:02:17,747
Are any of these women
important in the fields
59
00:02:17,791 --> 00:02:19,705
of fire trucks or unicorns?
60
00:02:19,749 --> 00:02:20,550
Oh!
61
00:02:20,594 --> 00:02:22,552
How perfect is this?
62
00:02:22,596 --> 00:02:27,339
They delivered the crib,
and I know just the crew of handy honeys
63
00:02:27,383 --> 00:02:28,732
to help me put it together.
64
00:02:28,776 --> 00:02:30,647
Uh, not now, Mom.
I've had the worst day.
65
00:02:30,691 --> 00:02:31,648
Me, too.
66
00:02:31,692 --> 00:02:32,867
Quick, start crying.
67
00:02:32,910 --> 00:02:34,869
We need to derail her
enthusiasm before she's...
68
00:02:34,912 --> 00:02:36,653
Unh! Too late.
69
00:02:36,697 --> 00:02:37,915
She's dancing.
70
00:02:37,959 --> 00:02:40,178
Way to rock it, girlfriend!
71
00:02:41,136 --> 00:02:43,051
I cannot deny it anymore.
72
00:02:43,094 --> 00:02:45,880
I am turning into a white woman.
73
00:02:48,502 --> 00:02:50,536
Is there a problem, girlfriends?
74
00:02:50,580 --> 00:02:52,016
Spin class was canceled!
75
00:02:52,628 --> 00:02:53,452
No!
76
00:02:53,496 --> 00:02:55,280
What are we gonna do with our day?
77
00:02:55,324 --> 00:02:56,760
"When In Doubt...
78
00:02:56,804 --> 00:02:57,805
Brunch."
79
00:02:57,848 --> 00:02:59,371
Where's the nearest
place that serves kale
80
00:02:59,415 --> 00:03:01,286
and also has a pun in its name?
81
00:03:01,330 --> 00:03:03,593
There's an Underground
Kale-Road down the street!
82
00:03:03,637 --> 00:03:05,943
- Let's go!
- Thank God.
83
00:03:05,987 --> 00:03:07,815
I've gotten soft lately.
84
00:03:07,858 --> 00:03:10,121
I think I've lost my Colombian edge.
85
00:03:10,165 --> 00:03:12,689
I think we'll all feel better
if we accomplish something.
86
00:03:12,733 --> 00:03:13,864
Yes. Unlike Jay.
87
00:03:13,908 --> 00:03:17,694
He's been going on these
hunting trips for 20 years,
88
00:03:17,738 --> 00:03:21,045
and not once has he
brought home a bald eagle!
89
00:03:25,876 --> 00:03:26,703
Oh, God.
90
00:03:26,747 --> 00:03:28,270
Hendrix couldn't read music,
91
00:03:28,313 --> 00:03:29,967
Shaq couldn't make free throws,
92
00:03:30,011 --> 00:03:32,796
and I have a little trouble
visualizing space and scale.
93
00:03:32,840 --> 00:03:35,146
So, I think this closet design
gives us everything we need
94
00:03:35,190 --> 00:03:36,757
in a tight, residential space.
95
00:03:36,800 --> 00:03:37,758
Yeah. Very clever.
96
00:03:37,801 --> 00:03:38,976
Take a walk-through.
97
00:03:39,020 --> 00:03:40,935
Does the flow make sense?
98
00:03:40,978 --> 00:03:41,892
Well, um...
99
00:03:42,433 --> 00:03:44,373
I would get out of the shower
100
00:03:44,416 --> 00:03:46,984
and throw my clothes in the hamper here,
101
00:03:47,028 --> 00:03:48,551
pick out an outfit,
and then get dressed right here.
102
00:03:49,770 --> 00:03:51,423
You just threw your
clothes in the fireplace
103
00:03:51,467 --> 00:03:53,121
and got dressed in front
of the picture window.
104
00:03:53,164 --> 00:03:56,428
Well, you have
your morning routine, Mia.
105
00:03:56,472 --> 00:03:58,387
I have mine.
106
00:03:59,225 --> 00:04:01,303
All right, let's get this over with.
107
00:04:01,346 --> 00:04:02,870
Mom, where do we start?
108
00:04:02,913 --> 00:04:03,823
Um...
109
00:04:03,853 --> 00:04:06,961
Maybe Mommy just needs
some cougar juice!
110
00:04:08,105 --> 00:04:09,920
What's wrong with me?
111
00:04:11,340 --> 00:04:12,616
Watch your step, folks.
112
00:04:12,654 --> 00:04:15,578
Some of the terrain gets a little
tricky on this part of the hike.
113
00:04:15,621 --> 00:04:16,753
- Oh. Good.
- I thought I'd changed
114
00:04:16,797 --> 00:04:19,538
into my "Remote Trailhead"
look too soon.
115
00:04:19,582 --> 00:04:21,540
You okay, Dad?
Want to stop and take a break?
116
00:04:21,584 --> 00:04:23,934
No, no. I just want to stop
and maybe see an eagle.
117
00:04:23,978 --> 00:04:25,283
Everybody look.
118
00:04:28,149 --> 00:04:30,201
You've been doing this for 20
years and never seen one, huh?
119
00:04:30,245 --> 00:04:31,899
Correct. Shh.
120
00:04:31,942 --> 00:04:33,378
Oh.
121
00:04:35,032 --> 00:04:36,904
Yeah. Mother Nature can be a real...
122
00:04:36,947 --> 00:04:38,993
Phil, stop talking!
123
00:04:39,036 --> 00:04:40,603
You're scaring the eagles!
124
00:04:40,646 --> 00:04:42,997
I'm sorry. My bad. My bad.
125
00:04:43,040 --> 00:04:45,826
- Also sorry in my head.
- Oh, my God!
126
00:04:45,869 --> 00:04:48,132
Since we're talking again, uh,
we should start heading back.
127
00:04:48,176 --> 00:04:49,612
It'll be dark soon.
128
00:04:49,655 --> 00:04:51,962
Or, if you'd like,
there's a cabin just up this trail.
129
00:04:52,006 --> 00:04:53,137
It's pretty run-down, but, uh,
130
00:04:53,181 --> 00:04:54,225
you're welcome to spend the night.
131
00:04:54,269 --> 00:04:56,010
- I'll do it.
- Oh.
132
00:04:56,053 --> 00:04:57,576
Are... Are we sure that's a good idea?
133
00:04:57,620 --> 00:04:59,840
Um... wasn't there...
wasn't there mention of bears?
134
00:04:59,883 --> 00:05:02,146
No, you go home. I'll stay by myself.
135
00:05:02,190 --> 00:05:04,010
We... We can't let him stay by himself.
136
00:05:04,040 --> 00:05:05,494
We told Gloria we'd keep him safe.
137
00:05:05,563 --> 00:05:07,173
Yeah, if he's staying, we're staying.
138
00:05:07,267 --> 00:05:09,922
Yeah. Yeah. What...
What's the worst that could happen?
139
00:05:09,965 --> 00:05:11,619
I mean, in the movies,
when city folk stay overnight
140
00:05:11,663 --> 00:05:14,492
in abandoned cabins,
things usually pan out okay.
141
00:05:14,535 --> 00:05:16,537
Anyway, I'm gonna run ahead,
see if they have any postcards
142
00:05:16,581 --> 00:05:19,192
up at this poorly guarded
mental institution.
143
00:05:20,976 --> 00:05:22,848
Damn it, I'm starving.
144
00:05:22,891 --> 00:05:24,980
Nothing in here but an
old bottle of whiskey.
145
00:05:25,024 --> 00:05:26,982
Well, just try not to think
about how hungry you are
146
00:05:27,026 --> 00:05:28,593
or that Mitchell left
the food in the bear box.
147
00:05:28,636 --> 00:05:30,595
We all left the food in the...
148
00:05:30,638 --> 00:05:31,422
Did you change again?
149
00:05:32,466 --> 00:05:33,859
Yeah, I just threw a few things together
150
00:05:33,902 --> 00:05:35,643
to create a "Rustic Cabin" look.
151
00:05:35,687 --> 00:05:38,254
Well, at least the bears
won't be a concern.
152
00:05:38,298 --> 00:05:39,604
Take it from a Realtor.
153
00:05:39,647 --> 00:05:41,823
This Smith & Wiley lock
is the gold standard.
154
00:05:49,933 --> 00:05:51,621
All right, I think we are now ready
155
00:05:51,664 --> 00:05:56,159
to put together our beautiful,
L-shaped crib.
156
00:05:56,202 --> 00:05:58,584
I-I... This can't be right.
One's way bigger.
157
00:05:58,626 --> 00:06:01,051
And what, my babies are supposed
to come and go as they please,
158
00:06:01,094 --> 00:06:02,582
like they're in a halfway house?
159
00:06:02,624 --> 00:06:05,943
Um, so, a minor
misreading of the diagram.
160
00:06:05,986 --> 00:06:09,006
I think we're just gonna need to
swap a short side for a long side.
161
00:06:09,048 --> 00:06:10,281
And in the meantime,
we bent that bracket.
162
00:06:10,324 --> 00:06:12,706
Alex, would you mind running
down to the hardware store?
163
00:06:12,749 --> 00:06:14,024
No way.
164
00:06:14,067 --> 00:06:15,939
I don't trust myself to drive anymore.
165
00:06:15,981 --> 00:06:17,896
I signed up to be the student liaison
166
00:06:17,938 --> 00:06:19,426
for a visiting scholar on campus...
167
00:06:19,469 --> 00:06:20,958
Sir Kenneth Penrose.
168
00:06:21,001 --> 00:06:23,340
Yes, that Sir Kenneth Penrose.
169
00:06:23,383 --> 00:06:25,425
Rock star of the microbiology world.
170
00:06:25,468 --> 00:06:27,041
I know you must hear this a lot,
171
00:06:27,083 --> 00:06:28,785
but you're the reason I took up snooker.
172
00:06:28,828 --> 00:06:29,848
Do you still play?
173
00:06:29,891 --> 00:06:31,805
I've had to lay down my cue lately.
174
00:06:31,848 --> 00:06:34,443
I've been working for
months on an Ebola vaccine.
175
00:06:34,485 --> 00:06:36,102
Just moments ago, I had a breakthrough.
176
00:06:36,144 --> 00:06:38,015
I can't wait to get
to the lab and jot...
177
00:06:38,058 --> 00:06:39,335
- Hey!
- Aah!
178
00:06:40,483 --> 00:06:42,397
Whoa! That was my chemistry advisor.
179
00:06:42,440 --> 00:06:44,524
I would not want to be
known as the girl who...
180
00:06:45,545 --> 00:06:46,506
Sir Kenneth?
181
00:06:47,757 --> 00:06:49,160
W-Where am I?
182
00:06:49,203 --> 00:06:50,990
You don't know the shame.
183
00:06:51,032 --> 00:06:52,266
Now they won't let me drive around
184
00:06:52,309 --> 00:06:54,941
anyone smarter than a
sociology professor.
185
00:06:54,984 --> 00:06:56,983
You know what else
hit the ground today? Me.
186
00:06:57,026 --> 00:07:00,386
While I was bending over to
pickup a doughnut off the floor!
187
00:07:00,429 --> 00:07:02,087
It was covered in dust balls,
but I didn't care,
188
00:07:02,130 --> 00:07:03,619
'cause I'm a disgusting pig monster.
189
00:07:03,661 --> 00:07:04,597
Oh, honey, please.
190
00:07:04,639 --> 00:07:06,001
You're as...
191
00:07:06,044 --> 00:07:07,319
as beautiful as ever.
192
00:07:07,362 --> 00:07:09,149
Tell that to MugScan.
193
00:07:09,191 --> 00:07:12,849
MugScan is a face-recognition
program we use at work.
194
00:07:12,892 --> 00:07:14,636
It was really mean to me.
195
00:07:16,848 --> 00:07:17,869
Good morning, Wayne.
196
00:07:17,911 --> 00:07:18,848
Wayne?
197
00:07:18,890 --> 00:07:20,676
I'm not Wayne, you jerk!
198
00:07:21,698 --> 00:07:23,483
Gosh!
199
00:07:31,693 --> 00:07:32,460
You all right, Haley?
200
00:07:33,480 --> 00:07:35,522
I'm fine, Wayne.
201
00:07:35,565 --> 00:07:37,862
One of my shoes flew off in the fall,
202
00:07:37,904 --> 00:07:40,371
and I couldn't put it back on
because my feet were so swollen.
203
00:07:40,413 --> 00:07:43,264
You know who makes a great shoe?
New Balance.
204
00:07:43,307 --> 00:07:45,390
I wear them when I
power-walk to Neil Diamond.
205
00:07:46,369 --> 00:07:49,262
Hey, Mom,
is this divider a little too high?
206
00:07:49,304 --> 00:07:50,920
No. No, it's supposed to be that way.
207
00:07:50,963 --> 00:07:53,302
That way, if one twin
wants to visit the other,
208
00:07:53,345 --> 00:07:56,662
he can just go,
"Ah, doot, doot, doot. Hi!"
209
00:07:56,705 --> 00:07:58,534
- Aaaah!
- Hey!
210
00:07:59,641 --> 00:08:02,022
Couple thoughts.
211
00:08:03,044 --> 00:08:04,915
- Pair of 7s.
- Ace high.
212
00:08:04,957 --> 00:08:07,765
Everyone, I'd like you to
meet Don Lemon and RuPaul,
213
00:08:07,808 --> 00:08:09,193
a pair of black queens.
214
00:08:09,637 --> 00:08:11,679
Mitchell, that's the third time
you've wandered over there.
215
00:08:11,721 --> 00:08:12,869
What are you doing?
216
00:08:12,912 --> 00:08:14,954
- Nothing.
- He's got something in his mouth.
217
00:08:14,996 --> 00:08:16,571
- Get him!
- No. No, I don't. - Come here!
218
00:08:16,613 --> 00:08:19,080
- No, no, no!
- Don't... Don't fight. Don't...
219
00:08:19,123 --> 00:08:20,143
He has beef jerky!
220
00:08:20,186 --> 00:08:21,266
That's the last of it. I swear.
221
00:08:21,327 --> 00:08:22,998
- He's lying. Check his pockets.
- No, I...
222
00:08:23,461 --> 00:08:25,606
- Stop it, stop it, stop it!
- It's a family pack!
223
00:08:25,697 --> 00:08:27,866
I hope the jerky was as
delicious as the irony.
224
00:08:27,908 --> 00:08:29,780
- Give it!
- No, stop it! Stop it...
225
00:08:29,823 --> 00:08:31,355
No!
226
00:08:31,397 --> 00:08:32,375
Great.
227
00:08:32,418 --> 00:08:34,077
We're sending beef smoke signals
228
00:08:34,120 --> 00:08:35,650
to a forest full of bears.
229
00:08:35,693 --> 00:08:37,437
I'm sorry! I should've shared!
230
00:08:37,480 --> 00:08:39,777
Meanwhile,
there is a sack full of hiking snacks
231
00:08:39,820 --> 00:08:40,755
just up the road!
232
00:08:40,798 --> 00:08:41,733
Brie, prosciutto,
233
00:08:41,776 --> 00:08:44,328
not to mention a wonderful
maple-walnut butter
234
00:08:44,370 --> 00:08:46,625
that Gloria recommended
on her Pinterest board.
235
00:08:46,668 --> 00:08:47,604
That's it. I'm going out there.
236
00:08:47,647 --> 00:08:48,582
Jay, wait!
237
00:08:48,625 --> 00:08:51,177
If you see a bear, remember...
238
00:08:51,219 --> 00:08:52,750
blind it with the flash on your phone,
239
00:08:52,793 --> 00:08:54,835
then lie on your back
in a submissive pose.
240
00:08:54,877 --> 00:08:56,962
I'm not doing that.
If I come face-to-face with a bear,
241
00:08:57,004 --> 00:08:57,982
he better run!
242
00:09:03,215 --> 00:09:04,704
It's darker out there...
243
00:09:04,746 --> 00:09:06,235
Aaaaaaaah!
244
00:09:07,893 --> 00:09:09,681
Are you sure it was the best idea
245
00:09:09,723 --> 00:09:11,339
to attach these before
moving them upstairs?
246
00:09:11,382 --> 00:09:14,572
Yeah, I eyeballed the space.
It really should fit easily.
247
00:09:14,615 --> 00:09:15,532
Ow!
248
00:09:16,231 --> 00:09:18,486
Except Alex apparently
has steered us into a jam.
249
00:09:19,370 --> 00:09:21,633
Oh, that must be the pizza guy.
Coming, Carl!
250
00:09:21,676 --> 00:09:23,505
You know the pizza guy's name?
251
00:09:23,548 --> 00:09:24,696
No!
252
00:09:27,163 --> 00:09:28,950
- Hi.
- Hey, Haley.
253
00:09:28,993 --> 00:09:31,332
Surprised to get an order
from you before midnight.
254
00:09:31,375 --> 00:09:33,800
By the way, how'd you like that
custom shrimp and potato pizza?
255
00:09:33,842 --> 00:09:36,862
I don't even know
what you're talking about.
256
00:09:36,905 --> 00:09:38,265
Loved it. Love you.
257
00:09:38,308 --> 00:09:39,457
Gonna go get my wallet!
258
00:09:43,058 --> 00:09:44,178
Mom?
259
00:09:44,220 --> 00:09:44,989
Okay.
260
00:09:45,046 --> 00:09:47,412
Alex, run downstairs
and get a screwdriver.
261
00:09:47,454 --> 00:09:49,453
This whole thing will fit easily
once we take the cribs apart.
262
00:09:49,495 --> 00:09:50,389
We don't even know
263
00:09:50,432 --> 00:09:52,941
if this thing is gonna fit
through the bedroom door.
264
00:09:52,984 --> 00:09:54,387
Of course it will.
265
00:09:54,430 --> 00:09:57,195
But if it makes you happy,
I will measure again.
266
00:09:57,237 --> 00:09:58,599
Hmm.
267
00:09:58,641 --> 00:10:00,172
Hmm?
268
00:10:02,852 --> 00:10:03,831
See?
269
00:10:06,936 --> 00:10:08,594
You always record over my programs...
270
00:10:08,637 --> 00:10:09,914
Whoa!
271
00:10:09,956 --> 00:10:11,402
Gah! Aah!
272
00:10:11,444 --> 00:10:13,529
- Oh!
- Ow!
273
00:10:15,954 --> 00:10:17,613
Okay, no, how about this?
274
00:10:17,656 --> 00:10:20,530
We all band together to form one big man
275
00:10:20,564 --> 00:10:21,313
to go get the food.
276
00:10:21,356 --> 00:10:22,633
- No!
- How's that supposed to work?
277
00:10:22,675 --> 00:10:24,542
Okay, back to back, um, and...
and then link arms.
278
00:10:24,627 --> 00:10:26,478
- Okay.
- Turn around, give me your arm.
279
00:10:26,569 --> 00:10:28,228
See, look? Like this, all right?
280
00:10:28,271 --> 00:10:30,950
- Do we look big and scary?
- Well, I think so.
281
00:10:30,993 --> 00:10:32,737
Let's move towards the door.
282
00:10:34,873 --> 00:10:36,608
Okay.
283
00:10:36,650 --> 00:10:38,777
Nice and easy.
284
00:10:38,820 --> 00:10:43,669
We're just one big man
out for a walk in the woods.
285
00:10:43,712 --> 00:10:44,903
Scatter!
286
00:10:44,945 --> 00:10:46,519
Aah!
287
00:10:47,965 --> 00:10:49,624
We made it. Oh!
288
00:10:49,667 --> 00:10:51,190
Wait! Where's Mitchell?
289
00:10:51,233 --> 00:10:52,211
He didn't make it!
290
00:10:52,254 --> 00:10:53,402
One of you two need to go get him!
291
00:10:53,444 --> 00:10:55,274
I'm better staying here as a bear decoy.
292
00:10:55,316 --> 00:10:56,550
I give off a natural musk.
293
00:10:56,593 --> 00:10:59,145
Birds land on me all the time.
Squirrels eat out of my hand.
294
00:10:59,188 --> 00:11:01,101
Well, I can't go!
Lily needs at least one living parent!
295
00:11:03,101 --> 00:11:04,079
Wait!
296
00:11:04,121 --> 00:11:05,355
How do we know it's not the bear?
297
00:11:05,398 --> 00:11:07,629
It's me!
298
00:11:07,780 --> 00:11:09,141
You just left me!
299
00:11:09,183 --> 00:11:10,890
Oh, you weren't out there that long.
300
00:11:10,932 --> 00:11:12,165
You didn't get the food?!
301
00:11:12,208 --> 00:11:13,442
I almost was food!
302
00:11:13,485 --> 00:11:16,164
Okay, I-I wish I never even
came on this stupid trip!
303
00:11:16,207 --> 00:11:17,185
Well, who forced you?
304
00:11:17,227 --> 00:11:18,307
Gloria!
305
00:11:23,336 --> 00:11:24,863
It's my delivery ankle.
306
00:11:24,906 --> 00:11:26,392
It's really bad, dudes.
307
00:11:26,434 --> 00:11:29,068
It was already weak from
your paintball injury, Carl.
308
00:11:29,110 --> 00:11:30,597
I told you to get it checked out,
309
00:11:30,639 --> 00:11:31,829
but you and doctors.
310
00:11:33,230 --> 00:11:35,608
Okay, fine, I know him a little.
311
00:11:35,651 --> 00:11:37,307
When it rains, it pours, huh?
312
00:11:37,350 --> 00:11:38,497
- Margaret-Anne left me this morning.
- Aw!
313
00:11:38,539 --> 00:11:41,214
Then my dad called me
"Craig" on the phone again.
314
00:11:41,257 --> 00:11:42,744
That's the name of his new son.
315
00:11:42,786 --> 00:11:44,909
Oh, God. Carl, can we
at least drive you home?
316
00:11:45,411 --> 00:11:46,226
Not now.
317
00:11:46,268 --> 00:11:49,072
I have 10 pizzas going to my enemies,
the Sigmas.
318
00:11:49,114 --> 00:11:51,832
Those rich kids get their
kicks taking advantage
319
00:11:51,875 --> 00:11:53,064
of our "30 Minutes or it's Free"
policy...
320
00:11:53,106 --> 00:11:55,018
use every trick in the
book to slow me down.
321
00:11:55,060 --> 00:11:57,056
Well, not tonight, Chad and Chip.
322
00:11:57,098 --> 00:11:58,203
Not to... Aaaah!
323
00:11:58,245 --> 00:12:00,157
The bone's got to be sticking out,
right?
324
00:12:00,198 --> 00:12:02,704
No, it's not even swollen.
325
00:12:02,747 --> 00:12:04,701
Look, Carl, we've all had rough days.
326
00:12:04,743 --> 00:12:06,612
Why don't you let us finish
this delivery for you?
327
00:12:06,655 --> 00:12:08,608
Okay, but we've only got,
like, 10 minutes.
328
00:12:08,650 --> 00:12:09,670
Let's go, then! Come here.
329
00:12:09,712 --> 00:12:10,944
- Okay.
- Come on!
330
00:12:10,986 --> 00:12:13,492
It'll feel good to get
something right today.
331
00:12:13,534 --> 00:12:15,955
Plus, I wouldn't mind sticking
it to some preppy, white jerks.
332
00:12:15,997 --> 00:12:19,141
Hey! That life comes
with its own problems!
333
00:12:24,069 --> 00:12:25,299
Don't be mad, Dad.
334
00:12:25,341 --> 00:12:26,785
Gloria was just worried about you.
335
00:12:26,827 --> 00:12:28,145
I don't want to talk about it.
336
00:12:28,187 --> 00:12:29,928
Let's just have a drink and be quiet.
337
00:12:32,816 --> 00:12:35,194
Lot of colors in that fire, huh?
338
00:12:35,237 --> 00:12:37,572
Red, green...
339
00:12:37,615 --> 00:12:39,229
- yellow, blue...
- Geez. Okay.
340
00:12:39,271 --> 00:12:41,947
What is this yammering with you?!
Seriously!
341
00:12:41,990 --> 00:12:43,179
I don't know.
342
00:12:44,623 --> 00:12:47,596
I guess I just don't like being
alone with my own thoughts.
343
00:12:48,955 --> 00:12:50,993
Maybe it's because I have a
couple of grandkids on the way,
344
00:12:51,036 --> 00:12:52,650
but now, if... if things get too quiet,
345
00:12:52,692 --> 00:12:55,028
my mind goes to a dark place fast.
346
00:12:55,070 --> 00:12:57,534
I start to worry about
the people that I love
347
00:12:57,576 --> 00:12:59,403
and all the bad things
that could happen to them.
348
00:13:00,592 --> 00:13:03,607
I suppose talking...
pushes those thoughts out
349
00:13:03,650 --> 00:13:05,434
and helps me feel okay.
350
00:13:05,476 --> 00:13:06,877
I get it.
351
00:13:06,920 --> 00:13:08,364
We can all spiral.
352
00:13:08,406 --> 00:13:10,105
But you can't talk your way out of it.
353
00:13:10,148 --> 00:13:12,696
You got to think your way out of it.
354
00:13:12,738 --> 00:13:14,776
You know, find a happy place.
355
00:13:14,819 --> 00:13:16,306
Try this.
356
00:13:16,348 --> 00:13:18,514
30 seconds, no talking. Go.
357
00:13:34,800 --> 00:13:36,456
- Buddy, where are you?
- I'm back. Yep.
358
00:13:36,499 --> 00:13:38,537
You know, I think
we can learn a lot from this guy,
359
00:13:38,579 --> 00:13:39,726
because it's not the...
360
00:13:39,769 --> 00:13:42,741
the bears out there
that we're afraid of.
361
00:13:42,784 --> 00:13:43,931
It's the bears in our lives...
362
00:13:43,973 --> 00:13:46,352
the fear that keeps us up at night.
363
00:13:46,394 --> 00:13:49,240
And I think that's an interesting
topic we can return to
364
00:13:49,282 --> 00:13:51,661
once I change into my
"Fireside Chat" look.
365
00:13:51,703 --> 00:13:52,977
Another wardrobe change?
366
00:13:53,020 --> 00:13:55,270
You're like a sultan's
bride on her wedding day.
367
00:13:55,313 --> 00:13:57,182
Go ahead... make fun of me.
368
00:13:57,224 --> 00:13:58,625
I like my outfits.
369
00:13:58,668 --> 00:13:59,943
Why so many?
370
00:13:59,985 --> 00:14:01,344
Yeah, I guess when I was a kid,
371
00:14:01,386 --> 00:14:03,170
I realized I wasn't ever gonna fit in,
372
00:14:03,213 --> 00:14:05,038
so I decided to stand out.
373
00:14:05,081 --> 00:14:06,950
I embraced my flamboyance
374
00:14:06,992 --> 00:14:09,285
to let the world know their
insults won't hurt me.
375
00:14:09,328 --> 00:14:11,621
Want to make a joke about me?
Go ahead, 'cause I'm in on it.
376
00:14:12,981 --> 00:14:15,019
That's really beautiful, Cam.
377
00:14:15,061 --> 00:14:17,270
And you're not alone.
378
00:14:17,313 --> 00:14:20,583
Growing up, we were all
insecure nerds in our own way.
379
00:14:22,536 --> 00:14:23,981
I was cool.
380
00:14:26,656 --> 00:14:28,780
What? I thought we were sharing.
381
00:14:28,822 --> 00:14:31,456
That's very brave, Cam.
That's good stuff.
382
00:14:35,659 --> 00:14:37,571
Are you crazy?!
I shouldn't be the one driving!
383
00:14:37,613 --> 00:14:39,525
There is no time to argue!
Just go! Come on!
384
00:14:41,757 --> 00:14:43,704
Thanks so much for making
me part of your group.
385
00:14:43,746 --> 00:14:46,209
It's not every day you
make four new best friends.
386
00:14:47,868 --> 00:14:49,310
Why are they going so slow?!
387
00:14:49,352 --> 00:14:50,669
I can't get past them!
388
00:14:50,712 --> 00:14:52,453
This is one of Sigma's tactics.
389
00:14:52,496 --> 00:14:53,599
They track my location on the app
390
00:14:53,642 --> 00:14:55,426
and send pledges to try to slow me down.
391
00:14:55,468 --> 00:14:56,573
Ugh! What am I gonna do?!
392
00:14:57,030 --> 00:14:58,144
I'll handle this.
393
00:14:58,186 --> 00:15:00,182
Carl, I'm taking your paintball guns!
394
00:15:00,736 --> 00:15:03,326
Move! Or I move you!
395
00:15:07,784 --> 00:15:09,102
I do still have my edge!
396
00:15:09,144 --> 00:15:10,078
Yes!
397
00:15:11,395 --> 00:15:13,179
Will you join my paintball team?
398
00:15:14,452 --> 00:15:15,371
What is that?!
399
00:15:15,451 --> 00:15:17,213
Field of Minions. Classic Sigmas.
400
00:15:17,256 --> 00:15:19,379
Don't get distracted by the cuteness.
We only have five minutes.
401
00:15:19,421 --> 00:15:20,696
Just go around them.
402
00:15:26,221 --> 00:15:27,580
Oh, my God, I did it!
403
00:15:27,623 --> 00:15:28,855
And you're all still in the car!
404
00:15:28,897 --> 00:15:30,469
Okay, now, we can't give them
any reason to say
405
00:15:30,511 --> 00:15:31,572
that we didn't fill the order perfectly,
406
00:15:31,615 --> 00:15:33,186
so check the pizzas,
make sure they didn't shift.
407
00:15:33,229 --> 00:15:35,268
Oh, Haley, I'm sure
you're worrying about nothing...
408
00:15:35,712 --> 00:15:37,052
Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!
409
00:15:41,383 --> 00:15:43,124
Carl, do you have a pizza slicer?
410
00:15:43,167 --> 00:15:45,333
Only the commemorative one
I got for 10 years of service.
411
00:15:45,376 --> 00:15:46,947
Give it to me. I have a vision.
412
00:15:47,789 --> 00:15:50,005
Shaq and Hendrix never got
past their blind spots.
413
00:15:50,047 --> 00:15:51,959
Maybe they didn't want it enough.
414
00:15:52,001 --> 00:15:54,550
Turning 9 pizzas into
10 was a simple matter
415
00:15:54,584 --> 00:15:56,512
of removing one slice from each pie,
416
00:15:56,546 --> 00:15:58,159
then trimming off a
V-shaped portion of pizza
417
00:15:58,201 --> 00:15:59,773
from each of the remaining slices,
418
00:15:59,815 --> 00:16:01,684
turning them from 36-degree
angles to 40-degree angles,
419
00:16:01,727 --> 00:16:03,383
then putting together
the 40-degree angles
420
00:16:03,426 --> 00:16:05,252
into nine slightly smaller pies.
421
00:16:05,294 --> 00:16:07,630
After that, one had only to repurpose
422
00:16:07,673 --> 00:16:09,583
the nine previously removed slices
423
00:16:09,626 --> 00:16:10,560
into a 10th pie.
424
00:16:11,495 --> 00:16:13,364
And... 10!
425
00:16:13,406 --> 00:16:14,552
It worked!
426
00:16:14,595 --> 00:16:15,614
It really did.
427
00:16:15,657 --> 00:16:17,398
I do have a visual brain.
428
00:16:17,441 --> 00:16:18,248
That was your thing?
429
00:16:18,290 --> 00:16:20,498
I do not miss having
white-people problems.
430
00:16:21,711 --> 00:16:23,316
We're here! I did it!
431
00:16:23,350 --> 00:16:25,722
We only have a minute to get
the pizzas inside. Let's go!
432
00:16:25,765 --> 00:16:27,973
Oh, wait, wait, wait!
Uh, the frat has a video doorbell.
433
00:16:28,016 --> 00:16:30,182
If they see it's a delivery,
they try to run out the clock.
434
00:16:30,224 --> 00:16:32,220
I'll handle this.
435
00:16:33,877 --> 00:16:35,193
Stay on that side.
436
00:16:36,765 --> 00:16:37,869
Yeah?
437
00:16:37,911 --> 00:16:39,621
Hi. Um...
438
00:16:39,993 --> 00:16:42,753
I go to U of A, and I'm super drunk.
439
00:16:42,795 --> 00:16:45,684
Is there a place where I
can sober up for the night?
440
00:16:47,468 --> 00:16:50,440
At least my looks can still
get me into a frat house.
441
00:16:50,483 --> 00:16:51,502
Okay, guys, go, go!
442
00:16:52,479 --> 00:16:54,900
10 pizzas on time.
443
00:16:54,942 --> 00:16:55,792
Pay up!
444
00:16:55,834 --> 00:16:57,193
You guys with Carl?
445
00:16:57,236 --> 00:16:59,231
We are Carl.
446
00:17:01,483 --> 00:17:03,267
Come on, hurry up! A bet's a bet!
447
00:17:03,309 --> 00:17:05,560
I told you I could stand
on one leg longer than you!
448
00:17:05,602 --> 00:17:07,938
You're the only one
whose balance gets better
449
00:17:07,981 --> 00:17:09,722
after drinking a jug of whiskey.
450
00:17:09,764 --> 00:17:12,100
All right.
My follower is gonna love this!
451
00:17:12,143 --> 00:17:13,162
Everybody say "Cheese!"
452
00:17:13,205 --> 00:17:14,351
- Cheese.
- Yes.
453
00:17:14,393 --> 00:17:16,092
Okay, now,
that is how you build a brand.
454
00:17:16,135 --> 00:17:18,683
Well, I guess we should kill
the rest of this whiskey.
455
00:17:18,726 --> 00:17:19,999
But then we'll have nothing
to serve the murderers
456
00:17:20,042 --> 00:17:21,061
when they arrive.
457
00:17:21,104 --> 00:17:22,590
You know, you joke,
458
00:17:22,633 --> 00:17:25,393
but you have a certain
paranoia about you.
459
00:17:25,436 --> 00:17:26,497
What... What's behind that?
460
00:17:26,540 --> 00:17:27,474
Well...
461
00:17:27,517 --> 00:17:29,768
Ooh! Are we about to hear
about Mitchell's bear?
462
00:17:29,810 --> 00:17:32,019
Uh, okay. It... It's, um...
463
00:17:32,061 --> 00:17:33,888
I've never told anyone this, but, uh,
464
00:17:33,930 --> 00:17:36,351
a fortune teller once predicted
465
00:17:36,394 --> 00:17:38,687
that I would not live
to see my 46th winter.
466
00:17:38,729 --> 00:17:41,532
Was that that kook that used
to live next door to us?
467
00:17:41,574 --> 00:17:42,381
She's nuts.
468
00:17:42,424 --> 00:17:45,227
She told your mother she was
gonna win a Tony one day.
469
00:17:45,270 --> 00:17:47,605
But she was right about
a lot of other things.
470
00:17:47,648 --> 00:17:50,069
She said that I'd become a lawyer.
471
00:17:50,111 --> 00:17:52,532
She said that I would
marry a clown one day.
472
00:17:52,574 --> 00:17:54,401
Laughed a long time about that one.
473
00:17:54,443 --> 00:17:55,293
Why?
474
00:17:55,335 --> 00:17:57,416
Anyway, I-I guess my "bear"
475
00:17:57,458 --> 00:17:58,775
is the fear of dying young.
476
00:17:58,817 --> 00:18:01,239
Uh, I mean,
if that fortune teller's right,
477
00:18:01,280 --> 00:18:03,404
I only have three more years to live.
478
00:18:03,447 --> 00:18:05,061
Well, y-you know what? The way I see it,
479
00:18:05,103 --> 00:18:07,099
this little curse is actually a gift...
480
00:18:07,141 --> 00:18:09,945
a reason to live life to the fullest.
481
00:18:09,987 --> 00:18:11,644
And have no regrets.
482
00:18:11,686 --> 00:18:15,126
Okay, so we're all just accepting
this 46-year thing as true?
483
00:18:15,169 --> 00:18:16,698
We've made our peace with it.
484
00:18:16,740 --> 00:18:17,844
And so should you.
485
00:18:17,886 --> 00:18:20,605
Why not just live your limited days
486
00:18:20,647 --> 00:18:22,559
with leaving nothing unsaid?
487
00:18:22,601 --> 00:18:25,107
Tell the people who matter
the most how you feel.
488
00:18:25,150 --> 00:18:27,714
I tell you and Lily
I love you every single day.
489
00:18:27,804 --> 00:18:29,863
True. What about Phil?
490
00:18:29,906 --> 00:18:32,708
He did text me with a
"Love ya" this morning.
491
00:18:32,751 --> 00:18:33,685
Close enough.
492
00:18:33,728 --> 00:18:35,130
And your dad?
493
00:18:39,376 --> 00:18:40,438
Seriously?!
494
00:18:40,481 --> 00:18:42,307
I just have a hard time
saying that word to him.
495
00:18:42,350 --> 00:18:43,921
Which is fine for the both of us.
496
00:18:43,964 --> 00:18:45,068
Okay, well, it sounds like
497
00:18:45,110 --> 00:18:46,965
you might be uncomfortable
with that word, too.
498
00:18:47,031 --> 00:18:49,314
No! I don't have a problem with it.
I use it all the time.
499
00:18:49,357 --> 00:18:50,632
I'm always saying I love things. I...
500
00:18:50,674 --> 00:18:53,647
I love the feel of toasty
socks out of the microwave.
501
00:18:53,689 --> 00:18:56,493
I love the far-off sound
of a train whistle.
502
00:18:56,535 --> 00:18:59,338
You know, "Ooh!
What adventure have they gotten off to?"
503
00:18:59,380 --> 00:19:01,424
I l... I love watching a baby stretch.
504
00:19:01,466 --> 00:19:04,694
Those are all good things
in your life, Jay, but...
505
00:19:04,736 --> 00:19:06,053
what's your "bear"?
506
00:19:06,095 --> 00:19:06,817
I don't have one.
507
00:19:06,860 --> 00:19:08,388
Oh, come on! We all told you ours.
508
00:19:08,431 --> 00:19:10,427
Now, when you get to my age,
509
00:19:10,470 --> 00:19:13,272
there are less things
that you're afraid of.
510
00:19:13,315 --> 00:19:15,056
Except maybe...
511
00:19:15,099 --> 00:19:16,670
being a burden to your family.
512
00:19:17,308 --> 00:19:18,582
Which is starting already,
513
00:19:18,624 --> 00:19:21,385
because Gloria forced
you guys to babysit me,
514
00:19:21,427 --> 00:19:24,400
which is why I wanted
to spend the night here
515
00:19:24,443 --> 00:19:28,477
so I could prove I'm not some...
frail old man.
516
00:19:29,327 --> 00:19:30,600
But, if I'm being honest,
517
00:19:30,643 --> 00:19:34,211
that hike gets tougher
for me every year.
518
00:19:34,253 --> 00:19:37,566
And I was relieved that I
didn't have to do it alone.
519
00:19:37,608 --> 00:19:38,839
Oh, Dad.
520
00:19:38,882 --> 00:19:40,369
You could never be a burden.
521
00:19:40,412 --> 00:19:42,875
Yeah, you're the one who's
always taking care of all of us.
522
00:19:42,918 --> 00:19:45,720
We'd love the chance
to return the favor.
523
00:19:47,164 --> 00:19:48,820
All right. It's getting late.
524
00:19:48,863 --> 00:19:50,902
This mountain pimp
outfit's making me sweat.
525
00:19:50,944 --> 00:19:52,090
Let's... Let's get some rest.
526
00:19:53,261 --> 00:19:54,681
- Good night.
- Good night.
527
00:19:54,724 --> 00:19:56,422
I'll take the sofa.
528
00:19:56,465 --> 00:19:57,655
Sure you're gonna be okay out here?
529
00:19:57,697 --> 00:19:59,226
- Yeah, I'll be fine.
- Okay.
530
00:20:01,137 --> 00:20:03,260
Do... Do you want me to grab you
an extra blanket or something?
531
00:20:03,303 --> 00:20:05,797
No, no. I'll get something if I need it.
532
00:20:05,894 --> 00:20:08,442
Okay. Well...
533
00:20:09,401 --> 00:20:10,830
Good night.
534
00:20:15,733 --> 00:20:17,093
I know.
535
00:20:33,951 --> 00:20:35,751
All right, Dad. We're ready to go.
536
00:20:35,786 --> 00:20:36,628
Yeah, Jay.
537
00:20:36,664 --> 00:20:39,240
I'm sorry you didn't see a
bald eagle this time around.
538
00:20:39,283 --> 00:20:40,893
Y-Yeah. It's too bad.
539
00:20:40,937 --> 00:20:43,331
I guess we'll all have to come
back here again next year.
540
00:20:43,374 --> 00:20:44,593
Yeah.
541
00:20:44,636 --> 00:20:46,377
I don't know about you guys,
but I slept great.
542
00:20:46,421 --> 00:20:49,380
That cot was so soft.
I'm not always a sound sleeper.
543
00:20:49,424 --> 00:20:52,340
Been meaning to try that melatonin.
I hear it's a real game-changer.
544
00:20:52,383 --> 00:20:54,124
And you can get it anywhere nowadays.
545
00:20:54,168 --> 00:20:55,473
Has it always been over-the-counter?
546
00:20:55,517 --> 00:20:57,345
Kind of a funny phrase, isn't it...
"over-the-counter"?
547
00:21:00,672 --> 00:21:03,202
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