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1
00:00:02,300 --> 00:00:04,780
Hello, baby.
This is Sam Franklin.
2
00:00:04,780 --> 00:00:07,460
I was married to him.
Anna, let me help. What?!
3
00:00:07,460 --> 00:00:09,540
I was after the manager.
You're looking at her.
4
00:00:09,540 --> 00:00:10,860
BANG, SCREAMING
5
00:00:10,860 --> 00:00:12,980
Where is the sweepstake?
I want to make bet.
6
00:00:12,980 --> 00:00:16,660
I found your little sweepstake.
You can get off me now.
7
00:00:16,660 --> 00:00:20,420
Don't you get that you just being
here is confusing the hell out of me?
8
00:00:20,420 --> 00:00:22,020
Last night I made
some calls to Tokyo
9
00:00:22,020 --> 00:00:25,980
and I'm pleased to inform you I'm
now the proud owner of Hotel Babylon.
10
00:00:30,900 --> 00:00:34,020
'A week ago I was in charge
of a range of global businesses,
11
00:00:34,020 --> 00:00:35,820
'living the dream.
12
00:00:35,820 --> 00:00:38,220
'Now I'm waiting to find out
what's left of it.
13
00:00:38,220 --> 00:00:41,020
'The one asset I know I still own
is Hotel Babylon.
14
00:00:41,020 --> 00:00:44,420
'But what do I know about hotels,
I hear you ask. Well...
15
00:00:44,420 --> 00:00:47,580
'I've stayed in plenty,
and with a CV like mine,
16
00:00:47,580 --> 00:00:50,100
'running a hotel
should be a walk in the park.
17
00:00:50,500 --> 00:00:52,940
'I've been handling people all my
life.
18
00:00:52,940 --> 00:00:54,660
'I know how to make them happy. '
19
00:00:54,660 --> 00:00:56,860
When the owner guaranteed you
tickets,
20
00:00:56,860 --> 00:00:59,140
he failed to appreciate
the popularity of the show.
21
00:00:59,140 --> 00:01:01,500
Or the lateness of the hour.
22
00:01:01,500 --> 00:01:04,300
What is it? A slug.
23
00:01:04,300 --> 00:01:05,780
It's also a classic con.
24
00:01:05,780 --> 00:01:09,860
You eat 95% of your meal, then you
put a grub on the plate and complain.
25
00:01:09,860 --> 00:01:11,220
Sam fell for it.
26
00:01:11,220 --> 00:01:13,500
He gave them vouchers
for a free dinner.
27
00:01:18,460 --> 00:01:22,380
Morning. Did you get the tickets?
Great.
28
00:01:22,380 --> 00:01:24,340
Thank you, thank you.
Morning, morning.
29
00:01:24,340 --> 00:01:26,980
'No-one could say that Sam Franklin
ever let them down. '
30
00:01:26,980 --> 00:01:28,780
Sam. I've got to take a shower.
31
00:01:28,780 --> 00:01:30,180
I'll be right back down.
32
00:01:35,460 --> 00:01:37,540
'As owner, your job's simple -
33
00:01:37,540 --> 00:01:39,940
'make sure everyone feels
valued and appreciated. '
34
00:01:39,940 --> 00:01:41,980
Sam, I need you to sign off
some ideas I've had
35
00:01:41,980 --> 00:01:44,380
on improving the profile
of the hospitality areas.
36
00:01:44,380 --> 00:01:46,100
Now's not a good time... Michael.
37
00:01:46,100 --> 00:01:48,700
I tidy your room special,
so now it is...
38
00:01:48,700 --> 00:01:50,700
Yes, just give me a sec, Tanya.
39
00:01:52,380 --> 00:01:53,860
Yep.
40
00:01:53,860 --> 00:01:54,940
.. clean.
41
00:01:54,940 --> 00:01:56,460
Give it to me straight.
42
00:01:56,460 --> 00:01:58,940
What have I got left?
43
00:02:03,780 --> 00:02:06,020
Hotel Babylon
is definitely all I have?
44
00:02:06,020 --> 00:02:08,220
I'll call you later.
45
00:02:20,260 --> 00:02:21,940
'And if life throws you
a curve ball,
46
00:02:21,940 --> 00:02:25,980
'your job is to pick yourself up,
smile and get on with it. '
47
00:02:25,980 --> 00:02:30,140
SHOWER RUNS You roll with the
punches and you fight back.
48
00:03:32,900 --> 00:03:35,700
I running late
because I was getting ready.
49
00:03:35,700 --> 00:03:37,500
For what? Your coming-out ball?
50
00:03:37,500 --> 00:03:41,180
This my first meeting
as head of housekeeping.
51
00:03:41,180 --> 00:03:42,740
I make effort.
52
00:03:42,740 --> 00:03:45,340
Head of housekeeping?
Mr Sam promote me.
53
00:03:45,340 --> 00:03:51,220
Wow! Queen of the cleaners(!) Hi.
54
00:03:51,220 --> 00:03:55,300
Well, you'll be pleased to know you missed
my "happy to be general manager" speech,
55
00:03:55,300 --> 00:03:58,100
but the key points were that
I welcome chocolate gifts
56
00:03:58,100 --> 00:04:01,180
and I love a good party. Me too!
Oh, we're SO going to get on.
57
00:04:01,180 --> 00:04:05,300
On the off-chance that you may tire of
another ten-minute monologue from me,
58
00:04:05,300 --> 00:04:06,980
I'd like to open it to the floor.
59
00:04:06,980 --> 00:04:10,020
So, what have we got this weekend?
As I'm sure you're all aware,
60
00:04:10,020 --> 00:04:12,780
we have Ed and Erin Martyn
staying with us.
61
00:04:12,780 --> 00:04:14,060
Oh, great
62
00:04:14,060 --> 00:04:16,100
How could we forget,
when that's all you talk about?
63
00:04:16,100 --> 00:04:17,460
Well, I would suggest
64
00:04:17,460 --> 00:04:20,420
that the lifestyle gurus and TV
celebrities are our premier guests.
65
00:04:20,420 --> 00:04:23,180
Chef and I have already looked over
their own recipe books
66
00:04:23,180 --> 00:04:26,860
and come up with some additional
ideas for their joint birthday dinner.
67
00:04:26,860 --> 00:04:28,700
Their stuff's wholesome, family food.
68
00:04:28,700 --> 00:04:31,980
You doing wild-bean casserole
and brown bread-and-butter pudding?
69
00:04:31,980 --> 00:04:36,260
James run this event like a military
exercise. "Gino, I want a bit of this. "
70
00:04:36,260 --> 00:04:37,900
"Gino, I want a bit of that. "
71
00:04:37,900 --> 00:04:39,780
"Gino, I want a bit of the other. "
72
00:04:39,780 --> 00:04:44,020
And everything in the restaurant has to
close at 5.05 because Mr Slick Pants here,
73
00:04:44,020 --> 00:04:48,820
he wants to watch The Ed And Erin Show.
What good have they ever done anyone, eh?
74
00:04:48,820 --> 00:04:52,340
They've changed the way that
civilians live their lives, that's all!
75
00:04:52,340 --> 00:04:56,420
Absolutely - bringing back old-fashioned
values, home cooking and family meals.
76
00:04:56,420 --> 00:04:57,620
I think they're evil.
77
00:04:57,620 --> 00:04:58,900
SHE GASPS
What?
78
00:04:58,900 --> 00:05:02,060
They appear as the perfect family and
make everyone else feel inadequate.
79
00:05:02,060 --> 00:05:05,980
We've also got the European heavyweight challenger staying
- Fernando Gomez.
80
00:05:05,980 --> 00:05:08,500
Now you talking about
somebody who change lives, eh?
81
00:05:08,500 --> 00:05:10,220
I thought he just rearranged faces.
82
00:05:10,220 --> 00:05:14,020
Yeah, he going to rearrange your British
challenger's face, that's for sure.
83
00:05:14,020 --> 00:05:15,980
Spain going to smash Great Britain,
eh?
84
00:05:15,980 --> 00:05:17,940
Boxing in gloves is for women.
85
00:05:17,940 --> 00:05:20,980
Real men fight with bare fists
and teeth!
86
00:05:20,980 --> 00:05:25,420
I think that two men thumping each other
for entertainment is just repulsive.
87
00:05:25,420 --> 00:05:29,700
Well, you don't need to worry about that.
There's not going to be much thumping.
88
00:05:29,700 --> 00:05:33,180
Just a quick bang, bang from Gomez,
and your boy Morrison, on his back.
89
00:05:33,180 --> 00:05:35,940
Last time out, Morrison destroyed
Helmut Schneider,
90
00:05:35,940 --> 00:05:37,740
and Gomez has yet
to face a southpaw.
91
00:05:37,740 --> 00:05:41,460
What? You think I shouldn't know
about boxing because I'm a woman?
92
00:05:41,460 --> 00:05:43,340
Yes.
SHE LAUGHS
93
00:05:43,340 --> 00:05:45,100
Morning.
94
00:05:45,740 --> 00:05:48,020
Sorry, this is a staff meeting.
95
00:05:48,020 --> 00:05:49,540
Yeah.
96
00:05:49,540 --> 00:05:52,020
And you're here because...?
Looking good, Tanya.
97
00:05:52,020 --> 00:05:55,540
My first contribution
is an initiative from City Hall.
98
00:05:55,540 --> 00:05:57,580
Leading up to the 2012 Olympics,
99
00:05:57,580 --> 00:06:00,500
they're seeing how eco-friendly
hospitality businesses are,
100
00:06:00,500 --> 00:06:03,060
checking their carbon footprints,
etc.
101
00:06:03,060 --> 00:06:05,620
Well, we already have
pretty good green credentials.
102
00:06:05,620 --> 00:06:08,260
Well, I for one always recycle
my make-up containers.
103
00:06:08,260 --> 00:06:10,180
Another small country saved(!)
104
00:06:10,180 --> 00:06:12,540
It's called the Green Pillow Scheme
105
00:06:12,540 --> 00:06:14,580
and I've arranged
for someone from their office
106
00:06:14,580 --> 00:06:17,180
to do an on-site inspection today.
Today?!
107
00:06:18,180 --> 00:06:21,300
Well... as Emily says,
we've already got great credentials.
108
00:06:21,300 --> 00:06:25,420
He or she will just turn up, tick the
relevant boxes, award us top marks.
109
00:06:25,420 --> 00:06:28,460
Anyone fancy taking it on?
Me, me!
110
00:06:28,460 --> 00:06:30,620
It's all media hype,
whipping up hysteria.
111
00:06:30,620 --> 00:06:32,180
I think it's a key issue, actually.
112
00:06:32,180 --> 00:06:35,140
Passion. That's what I like to hear.
Thank you, Emily.
113
00:06:35,140 --> 00:06:38,140
Inspector will turn up
sometime this morning.
114
00:06:38,140 --> 00:06:39,900
OK, that's it.
115
00:06:42,980 --> 00:06:44,820
People don't come to a five-star
hotel
116
00:06:44,820 --> 00:06:49,460
to wonder whether we're recycling their
shampoo bottles or using eco-friendly mouthwash.
117
00:06:49,460 --> 00:06:52,060
Do I take it you're not
a jolly green giant, then, James?
118
00:06:52,060 --> 00:06:54,220
Not a jolly green anything
at the moment.
119
00:06:54,220 --> 00:06:55,940
It's a bandwagon.
120
00:06:58,340 --> 00:07:02,140
I need to book four rooms for a friend
of mine this weekend. Superior rooms.
121
00:07:02,140 --> 00:07:04,940
We're fully booked.
Just do the Rubik's shuffle.
122
00:07:04,940 --> 00:07:06,180
Twist, move and rearrange.
123
00:07:06,180 --> 00:07:09,820
Bring two guests up from the third to the
sixth floor, two from the sixth to the fourth.
124
00:07:09,820 --> 00:07:11,940
That frees up rooms
on the fifth and third floor.
125
00:07:11,940 --> 00:07:15,220
So move one person from
the first up to the sixth floor,
126
00:07:15,220 --> 00:07:16,700
one from the sixth to the third
floor.
127
00:07:16,700 --> 00:07:19,300
That frees up rooms on the fourth,
fifth and third floor.
128
00:07:19,300 --> 00:07:24,260
Fill them with people from the seventh and
you've got four superior rooms available.
129
00:07:24,260 --> 00:07:28,540
What she said. The guest's name's
Foreman, Carlton Foreman.
130
00:07:30,420 --> 00:07:31,900
Put it back, Tyler.
131
00:07:31,900 --> 00:07:34,220
GASPS
Oh! Is it coming?!
132
00:07:34,220 --> 00:07:36,860
No. THEY are.
133
00:07:36,860 --> 00:07:40,660
Mr and Mrs Martyn, I'm Juliet
Miller, the general manager. Hello.
134
00:07:40,660 --> 00:07:43,900
How do you do? Welcome to Hotel
Babylon. We're delighted to have you.
135
00:07:43,900 --> 00:07:45,820
We're delighted to be here.
Aren't we?
136
00:07:45,820 --> 00:07:46,980
Mm-hm.
137
00:07:46,980 --> 00:07:48,740
Well, if you'd like to take a seat,
138
00:07:48,740 --> 00:07:52,460
we'll bring you over a complimentary
drink while we check you in.
139
00:07:52,460 --> 00:07:54,500
I'd love to see
where the party's gonna be.
140
00:07:54,500 --> 00:07:58,460
You want to stay here and get a drink? I want
to stay with you. Aw! 12 years of marriage
141
00:07:58,460 --> 00:08:00,220
and she still can't get enough of me.
Oh, stop.
142
00:08:00,220 --> 00:08:01,380
HE LAUGHS
143
00:08:01,380 --> 00:08:04,340
We have your payment details, so here
are your key cards, Mr and Mrs Martyn.
144
00:08:04,340 --> 00:08:06,860
Annie, do you want to take Tyler
up to the room?
145
00:08:06,860 --> 00:08:10,020
Can I just say I'm a massive fan?
The item you did last week
146
00:08:10,020 --> 00:08:12,140
about the mind-blowing
holiday disasters...
147
00:08:12,140 --> 00:08:13,780
it was mind-blowing.
148
00:08:13,780 --> 00:08:16,540
The... herd of cows,
cliff-top caravan...
149
00:08:16,540 --> 00:08:19,500
Yeah. So when are you due?
Oh, um... about a month.
150
00:08:19,500 --> 00:08:20,980
Ed loved it when I was pregnant.
151
00:08:20,980 --> 00:08:23,300
Well, there's nothing more amazing
than a pregnant woman.
152
00:08:23,300 --> 00:08:25,100
Yeah, you should try it from this
side.
153
00:08:25,100 --> 00:08:29,180
Oh, if he could've had Tyler himself, he
would have. All the scans, the check-ups,
154
00:08:29,180 --> 00:08:31,260
the prenatal classes -
I couldn't get enough.
155
00:08:31,260 --> 00:08:33,340
I hope your fella's
pulling his weight.
156
00:08:33,340 --> 00:08:35,420
Yeah... er... he is.
157
00:08:35,420 --> 00:08:37,220
Mr and Mrs Martyn, shall we...?
Great.
158
00:08:37,220 --> 00:08:39,100
Bye. Bye.
159
00:08:39,100 --> 00:08:41,060
Feel like I've just met royalty.
160
00:08:41,060 --> 00:08:42,660
I'm going to be sick. What?
161
00:08:42,660 --> 00:08:46,500
Go over this list and be ready to answer
any questions the inspector may have.
162
00:08:46,500 --> 00:08:48,620
It's like being back at school.
How would you know?
163
00:08:48,620 --> 00:08:51,980
Come on. Who's the
Anna-baby-father frontrunner?
164
00:08:51,980 --> 00:08:54,980
No frontrunners, but about 700...
SHE WAILS
165
00:08:54,980 --> 00:08:56,220
Cover it.
166
00:08:56,220 --> 00:08:58,620
Maybe I should just ask
for the weekend off.
167
00:08:58,620 --> 00:09:00,500
What's up?
168
00:09:00,500 --> 00:09:03,340
She's had her first brush with
the country's most famous family.
169
00:09:03,340 --> 00:09:06,500
They made you feel rubbish?
Well, they noticed the bump,
170
00:09:06,500 --> 00:09:09,180
asked her about the dad,
and then she threw up.
171
00:09:09,180 --> 00:09:11,500
Welcome to parenthood. Most of
the time you feel ill-equipped,
172
00:09:11,500 --> 00:09:13,700
inadequate, and the rest of the time
you feel nauseous.
173
00:09:13,700 --> 00:09:16,660
Talking of parenthood, none of you
saw Anna's baby scan pictures.
174
00:09:16,660 --> 00:09:18,540
Can we see?
EXCITED MURMURING
175
00:09:18,540 --> 00:09:21,740
Look, you can see
its little fingers. Oh!
176
00:09:21,740 --> 00:09:26,020
OK, now, looks like it's got James's
nose, but that's impossible.
177
00:09:26,020 --> 00:09:29,460
What about the chin?
The head shape reminds me of...
178
00:09:29,460 --> 00:09:32,540
You remember the guy
with the dark hair? Who?
179
00:09:32,540 --> 00:09:34,780
He works with whatshisname.
Who?
180
00:09:36,260 --> 00:09:38,300
I thought that you'd stopped taking
bets.
181
00:09:38,300 --> 00:09:39,660
Well, we did.
182
00:09:39,660 --> 00:09:42,380
We had. But we start again.
183
00:09:42,380 --> 00:09:45,380
I thought you were genuinely
interested in the baby,
184
00:09:45,380 --> 00:09:47,740
but you're not, you
just want to win some stupid bet.
185
00:09:47,740 --> 00:09:49,940
From now on,
just don't even look at me.
186
00:09:49,940 --> 00:09:52,780
Anna, it's just a bit of fun.
No. It's not.
187
00:09:52,780 --> 00:09:54,780
Oh, come on, Anna,
just give us some clues.
188
00:09:54,780 --> 00:09:56,500
Is the father tall?
Is he dark haired?
189
00:09:56,500 --> 00:09:58,300
Is he black?
Is he someone we know?
190
00:09:58,300 --> 00:09:59,700
Put us out of our misery.
191
00:09:59,700 --> 00:10:02,780
OK, fine. You really want to
know who the father is? Yes.
192
00:10:02,780 --> 00:10:04,980
You really, really want me
to tell you? ALL: Yes!
193
00:10:04,980 --> 00:10:07,020
You want me to come out
and say who the father is?
194
00:10:07,020 --> 00:10:08,540
Yes! Yes!
195
00:10:08,540 --> 00:10:11,260
OK, fine! It's him! All right?!
196
00:10:13,460 --> 00:10:15,620
Which means I win the money!
197
00:10:24,020 --> 00:10:25,900
So I take it darkness and alcohol
198
00:10:25,900 --> 00:10:28,740
played their part in your coupling
with Darren the waiter.
199
00:10:28,740 --> 00:10:30,380
Why?
200
00:10:30,380 --> 00:10:32,060
Is he not good-looking? He's OK,
201
00:10:32,060 --> 00:10:34,940
but ordinary looks
coupled with no money
202
00:10:34,940 --> 00:10:39,060
measures somewhere between the Elephant
Man and Quasimodo on your scale.
203
00:10:39,060 --> 00:10:40,500
Hey, you.
204
00:10:41,900 --> 00:10:44,500
You have rooms. Yes?
Booked or not, you've got them.
205
00:10:44,500 --> 00:10:48,940
Fernando. Usted es verdadero
el campeon del pueblo.
206
00:10:48,940 --> 00:10:52,460
Usted es el corazon y alma de
Espana. Hombre!
207
00:10:52,460 --> 00:10:55,100
Come on! What you doing? Hey!
208
00:10:55,100 --> 00:10:57,420
I your biggest fan!
I just want to shake your hand!
209
00:10:57,420 --> 00:11:00,580
Mr Gomez. I'm Juliet Miller,
the general manager.
210
00:11:00,580 --> 00:11:02,500
Welcome to Hotel Babylon. Hola.
211
00:11:02,500 --> 00:11:05,940
I'm so sorry about the fan, and I
guarantee he won't pester you again,
212
00:11:05,940 --> 00:11:08,460
but he is actually our bar manager,
so we may need him.
213
00:11:09,620 --> 00:11:11,100
Rafael! Si.
214
00:11:11,100 --> 00:11:12,900
Gabriel!
215
00:11:12,900 --> 00:11:14,380
Es barman aqui.
216
00:11:15,420 --> 00:11:17,620
OK? Mm-hm.
217
00:11:20,460 --> 00:11:23,420
Fernando!
I still your biggest fan, eh?
218
00:11:24,580 --> 00:11:26,300
PHONE RINGS
219
00:11:26,300 --> 00:11:28,940
Hello, reception.
Anna Thornton-Wilton speaking.
220
00:11:28,940 --> 00:11:31,500
'Another one's gone. '
Who is this?
221
00:11:31,500 --> 00:11:32,580
'She's gone. '
222
00:11:32,580 --> 00:11:35,140
So have you had au pairs
walk out on you before?
223
00:11:35,140 --> 00:11:36,660
Loads of times.
224
00:11:36,660 --> 00:11:39,220
I know looking after someone else's
kid is a thankless job,
225
00:11:39,220 --> 00:11:40,740
but it's hardly rocket science,
is it?
226
00:11:40,740 --> 00:11:43,060
"What do you want for breakfast,
lunch?
227
00:11:43,060 --> 00:11:45,740
"Want to go to the park?
Here's your dinner. Get to bed!"
228
00:11:45,740 --> 00:11:48,340
It's easy. You're funny.
229
00:11:48,340 --> 00:11:49,820
Funny ha-ha or funny weird?
230
00:11:49,820 --> 00:11:51,300
Weird, definitely.
231
00:11:51,300 --> 00:11:53,380
OK. Let's get you back
to your mummy and daddy now.
232
00:11:53,380 --> 00:11:55,940
I'm 11, not two. Yeah, whatever.
233
00:11:55,940 --> 00:11:59,180
No. Let me phone our office
and check out
234
00:11:59,180 --> 00:12:01,860
the hopsack-weave linen
we featured in our last book.
235
00:12:01,860 --> 00:12:05,540
I think it's going to give the room
a much more homely feel.
236
00:12:05,540 --> 00:12:07,060
You're the expert on homely. Yeah.
237
00:12:07,060 --> 00:12:10,980
The chef thought
the risotto al funghi would be
238
00:12:10,980 --> 00:12:14,660
a more appropriate accompaniment
to the lighter antipasti choices.
239
00:12:14,660 --> 00:12:18,020
It all sounds good, James. I know
nothing about wine. Never touch the stuff.
240
00:12:18,020 --> 00:12:20,660
So I'm leaving the choices
to your Spanish sommelier.
241
00:12:20,660 --> 00:12:22,260
Our who?
242
00:12:22,260 --> 00:12:24,500
Oh, our barman.
243
00:12:24,500 --> 00:12:27,940
I've called him many things,
but a sommelier? No, no, no.
244
00:12:27,940 --> 00:12:29,420
THEY LAUGH
245
00:12:29,420 --> 00:12:30,580
Hey, small fry.
246
00:12:30,580 --> 00:12:33,740
What's been happening?
Your nanny's walked out on you.
247
00:12:33,740 --> 00:12:36,980
What?
Yeah. Tyler rang down to reception
248
00:12:36,980 --> 00:12:42,020
and I saw her walking out of the
door. Oh, no! What are we going to do?
249
00:12:42,020 --> 00:12:45,300
Er, well, we'll just have to keep
Tyler with us for the weekend.
250
00:12:45,300 --> 00:12:47,300
What? While we pull
a TV programme together?
251
00:12:47,300 --> 00:12:49,140
While we talk to scriptwriters
and producers?
252
00:12:49,140 --> 00:12:52,780
He'll be bored, Ed. Jesus, I'm bored
talking to them, and I'm an adult!
253
00:12:52,780 --> 00:12:54,900
Darling, we'll sort something.
So what are we gonna do?
254
00:12:54,900 --> 00:12:56,940
We've got all our friends
coming to a party!
255
00:12:56,940 --> 00:12:59,500
Darling, relax.
We'll just have to cancel.
256
00:12:59,500 --> 00:13:03,020
We won't have to cancel.
Maybe we could help. How?
257
00:13:03,020 --> 00:13:05,700
Well, I could ask a member of staff
to look after Tyler,
258
00:13:05,700 --> 00:13:08,580
give you time to sort
something else out long term.
259
00:13:08,580 --> 00:13:11,100
So do you have, like,
a child-minding thing here?
260
00:13:11,100 --> 00:13:12,700
No, but...
261
00:13:12,700 --> 00:13:14,540
How about Anna?
262
00:13:16,940 --> 00:13:18,460
Me? Yes.
263
00:13:18,460 --> 00:13:20,500
You've forged a relationship
with Tyler?
264
00:13:20,500 --> 00:13:23,460
No. No, not really.
And you could do with the practice.
265
00:13:23,460 --> 00:13:25,500
Yeah.
266
00:13:25,500 --> 00:13:26,860
SHE SOBS
267
00:13:26,860 --> 00:13:31,220
And it would be much less taxing for you
than standing up for eight-hour shifts.
268
00:13:31,220 --> 00:13:33,380
I can lean.
269
00:13:33,380 --> 00:13:36,580
Oh, God.
Tyler? Tyler, what do you think?
270
00:13:36,580 --> 00:13:42,060
Yeah, Tyler. Do you want a bossy,
weird woman looking after you?
271
00:13:42,060 --> 00:13:43,580
Why not?
272
00:13:45,300 --> 00:13:48,180
Great. That's sorted, then.
Thanks.
273
00:13:48,180 --> 00:13:52,220
Now, this risotto. I don't like
risotto. I think we should have fish.
274
00:13:54,100 --> 00:13:57,340
Tough life, being an owner.
I'm sorry, did I miss the memo
275
00:13:57,340 --> 00:14:00,260
about the Neanderthal look-alike
competition here today?
276
00:14:00,260 --> 00:14:03,540
That's no ordinary Neanderthal. That's
Don "Pitbull" Morrison and his entourage.
277
00:14:03,540 --> 00:14:06,940
Call security. I want
this reprobate out of here now!
278
00:14:06,940 --> 00:14:11,380
Oh, shut up! This man
is POSING as a hotel manager.
279
00:14:11,380 --> 00:14:13,940
He couldn't run a bloody bath,
bloody charlatan.
280
00:14:13,940 --> 00:14:16,460
BOTH LAUGH
281
00:14:16,460 --> 00:14:20,980
You don't call. You don't text.
Why the hell would I call you?
282
00:14:22,020 --> 00:14:25,300
Good to see you, Sammy. Listen,
thanks for sorting out the rooms.
283
00:14:25,300 --> 00:14:26,580
Oh, what are mates for?
284
00:14:26,580 --> 00:14:30,340
Anyway, so last I heard, you
were in... Arizona, mining uranium?
285
00:14:30,340 --> 00:14:32,060
Arkansas, digging for copper.
286
00:14:32,060 --> 00:14:35,060
Didn't find any,
so I fell into the boxing game.
287
00:14:35,060 --> 00:14:36,180
Boxing? Yeah.
288
00:14:36,180 --> 00:14:40,980
This is my latest charge, Don
Morrison, European heavyweight champion.
289
00:14:40,980 --> 00:14:45,940
What are you looking at? Just
you... you're not so big close up.
290
00:14:45,940 --> 00:14:47,740
Are you Spanish? Si.
291
00:14:47,740 --> 00:14:49,140
I hate the Spanish.
292
00:14:50,140 --> 00:14:52,860
Why don't you just shake hands
and play nice?
293
00:14:56,220 --> 00:14:59,260
Ow! I didn't know the Spanish
were so strong.
294
00:14:59,260 --> 00:15:01,900
Call off the fight, Carlton... not.
295
00:15:04,460 --> 00:15:05,740
HE CHUCKLES
296
00:15:05,740 --> 00:15:07,500
I'll go get him checked in. Mmm.
297
00:15:07,500 --> 00:15:09,260
Can I have a word, please, sir? Mmm.
298
00:15:09,260 --> 00:15:10,740
Sir, we've got a big problem,
299
00:15:10,740 --> 00:15:13,380
and you need to sort something out
before Juliet...
300
00:15:14,060 --> 00:15:15,860
Um... Is that who I think it is?
301
00:15:15,860 --> 00:15:17,740
Who booked him in?
What's the problem?
302
00:15:17,740 --> 00:15:20,220
You arrived late to the morning
meeting, so you have no idea
303
00:15:20,220 --> 00:15:22,860
that we also have Fernando Gomez
booked in this weekend.
304
00:15:22,860 --> 00:15:24,940
Fernando who?
You don't follow sport, then?
305
00:15:24,940 --> 00:15:26,500
Not really. Oh.
306
00:15:26,500 --> 00:15:29,820
Fernando Gomez is Morrison's opponent
in the big fight this weekend.
307
00:15:29,820 --> 00:15:34,140
We've got both boxers staying here?
Fantastic!
308
00:15:34,140 --> 00:15:37,860
Sam, you're not getting it. They
can't both be here. Morrison has to go.
309
00:15:37,860 --> 00:15:41,740
Jules? Jules, hello!
310
00:15:41,740 --> 00:15:45,700
Carlton, what are you doing here?
311
00:15:45,700 --> 00:15:49,540
It was Carlton who phoned me for the
rooms. He's Morrison's manager.
312
00:15:49,540 --> 00:15:54,540
If you're staying here, we should all get
together for a meal, talk about old times.
313
00:15:54,540 --> 00:15:56,380
I work here, actually. What?
314
00:15:56,380 --> 00:15:59,820
You work... with Sam?
315
00:16:02,660 --> 00:16:06,140
No... Oh, no! What's so funny?
316
00:16:06,140 --> 00:16:10,180
No offence, but the best thing you two
ever did was get away from each other.
317
00:16:10,180 --> 00:16:12,100
Now you're working together?
318
00:16:12,100 --> 00:16:13,900
Yeah, and it's going pretty well.
319
00:16:13,900 --> 00:16:15,100
Good.
320
00:16:15,100 --> 00:16:18,100
Well, I just hope I'm not around
when it all goes tits up... again.
321
00:16:18,100 --> 00:16:20,540
Funny you should mention
you not being around...
322
00:16:20,540 --> 00:16:23,100
Why don't you get yourself
checked into the room
323
00:16:23,100 --> 00:16:25,860
and we'll have
a catch-up drink later?
324
00:16:25,860 --> 00:16:28,220
CARLTON CHUCKLES
Sam.
325
00:16:31,020 --> 00:16:34,060
Carlton and Morrison
cannot stay here. Why not?
326
00:16:34,060 --> 00:16:35,540
Because at this stage with a fight,
327
00:16:35,540 --> 00:16:37,860
boxers are programmed
to kill their opponent on sight.
328
00:16:37,860 --> 00:16:41,740
If either finds out the other's here,
they'll murder each other. He has to go.
329
00:16:42,740 --> 00:16:44,860
I can't throw him out.
330
00:16:44,860 --> 00:16:47,660
I owe him. What? Money?
331
00:16:47,660 --> 00:16:50,860
When we split up, I was in a mess.
He was there for me.
332
00:16:50,860 --> 00:16:52,620
So he broke out
the whisky and tissues
333
00:16:52,620 --> 00:16:54,620
and now you're honour-bound
to help him out?
334
00:16:54,620 --> 00:16:56,420
Why do you dislike him so much?
335
00:16:56,420 --> 00:16:57,900
It might be to do with
his mentioning
336
00:16:57,900 --> 00:17:00,140
every one of your past conquests
in his best man speech,
337
00:17:00,140 --> 00:17:04,020
or the fact that your golf weekends
away lasted till Tuesday.
338
00:17:04,020 --> 00:17:06,540
I can't throw him out.
339
00:17:06,540 --> 00:17:09,860
I thought we agreed
that I was going to run this hotel.
340
00:17:11,860 --> 00:17:13,500
OK.
341
00:17:15,980 --> 00:17:17,500
Cards on the table.
342
00:17:19,780 --> 00:17:24,300
I spoke to Michael this morning.
Hotel Babylon's all I have left.
343
00:17:25,540 --> 00:17:28,140
Everything else has gone.
Everything?
344
00:17:30,980 --> 00:17:33,700
Which means I'm staying put.
345
00:17:33,700 --> 00:17:38,660
But together, we can make
a real go of this place,
346
00:17:38,660 --> 00:17:40,820
make some serious money.
347
00:17:40,820 --> 00:17:42,220
What do you say?
348
00:17:43,780 --> 00:17:45,860
This is not what we agreed to, Sam.
349
00:17:45,860 --> 00:17:48,140
The answer I'm looking for is "yes".
350
00:17:49,140 --> 00:17:51,620
And the answer you're getting is
"maybe".
351
00:17:55,420 --> 00:17:57,740
I can work with "maybe".
352
00:17:57,740 --> 00:18:01,020
You're being issued with timetables
for both the boxing camps.
353
00:18:01,020 --> 00:18:05,140
Any deviations from the itineraries by
either party and you need to contact me,
354
00:18:05,140 --> 00:18:07,060
Sam or Tony, ASAP.
355
00:18:07,060 --> 00:18:10,740
You all know the score. These two groups
must never meet. Understand? Never.
356
00:18:10,740 --> 00:18:12,580
Muchas gracias, senor.
357
00:18:12,580 --> 00:18:13,860
De nada. Gracias.
358
00:18:16,380 --> 00:18:18,060
Tony! Let me wish you luck, eh?
359
00:18:18,060 --> 00:18:20,700
Si. Beat this Pitbull man, eh?
360
00:18:20,700 --> 00:18:22,940
Hey, hey. Kill him if you have to!
361
00:18:22,940 --> 00:18:25,220
Do it for Spain.
GOMEZ GROWLS
362
00:18:25,220 --> 00:18:27,180
It's OK. Go.
363
00:18:34,020 --> 00:18:37,220
GASPING
364
00:18:39,380 --> 00:18:41,980
Mr Gomez?
Mr Morrison?
365
00:18:41,980 --> 00:18:43,580
There's a message from the
venue.
366
00:18:46,020 --> 00:18:48,420
Time to go.
367
00:18:48,420 --> 00:18:49,900
Well, thank you, gentlemen. Have...
368
00:18:49,900 --> 00:18:51,420
SQUEALS
.. a good day.
369
00:18:51,420 --> 00:18:53,860
Right, do something.
Ah, Mr Morrison.
370
00:18:53,860 --> 00:18:58,940
If I could break with protocol
for one minute and, um...
371
00:18:58,940 --> 00:19:02,300
ask you to sign this napkin for me?
372
00:19:02,300 --> 00:19:05,700
I didn't take you for a fight fan.
I love a good scrap, me.
373
00:19:05,700 --> 00:19:09,860
If you could write,
"To James, love from... "
374
00:19:11,780 --> 00:19:13,860
Or just "from" would be fine.
375
00:19:23,300 --> 00:19:25,980
You don't have a bicycle stand?
376
00:19:25,980 --> 00:19:28,420
This is a five-star hotel. So?
377
00:19:28,420 --> 00:19:31,820
So couriers go round the back.
There's nowhere to put my bike?
378
00:19:31,820 --> 00:19:34,220
Don't tempt me, mate.
I'll just have to take it in, then.
379
00:19:34,220 --> 00:19:37,340
At the risk of stating
the bleedin' obvious - on yer bike.
380
00:19:37,340 --> 00:19:40,860
I am Robert Carrick, environmental
officer from City Hall.
381
00:19:40,860 --> 00:19:42,860
I believe I'm expected.
382
00:19:42,860 --> 00:19:46,460
Congratulations.
You've just failed test number one.
383
00:19:46,460 --> 00:19:49,420
Mr Carrick,
welcome to Hotel Babylon.
384
00:19:49,420 --> 00:19:53,340
I'm Emily James, head of PR. We are
delighted to have you with us today.
385
00:19:53,340 --> 00:19:55,740
I did ask for somewhere
to store my bicycle.
386
00:19:55,740 --> 00:19:58,500
Oh, that's easy. Tony, bike.
Of course.
387
00:19:58,500 --> 00:20:01,140
I imagine you're a man
who likes to hit the ground running,
388
00:20:01,140 --> 00:20:04,220
so I've set up the most
energy-efficient route around the hotel,
389
00:20:04,220 --> 00:20:07,500
taking in all the key areas -
bedrooms...
390
00:20:07,500 --> 00:20:09,420
I thought I'd take him
to the Trocadero Centre,
391
00:20:09,420 --> 00:20:12,180
and then get him a burger
or something for lunch.
392
00:20:12,180 --> 00:20:16,060
No. No, no, no.
He can't leave the hotel without us.
393
00:20:17,260 --> 00:20:20,980
We also advocate a strictly organic
diet. No processed foods.
394
00:20:20,980 --> 00:20:24,460
I think he's lactose intolerant.
Ed thinks that I'm too fussy but...
395
00:20:24,460 --> 00:20:27,020
"Fussy" wasn't the word I used,
sweetness.
396
00:20:27,020 --> 00:20:31,660
So I recommend a limited amount
of dairy-based foodstuffs,
397
00:20:31,660 --> 00:20:33,740
chocolate being an absolute no-no
until after 4.00,
398
00:20:33,740 --> 00:20:35,340
where he's allowed two squares max.
399
00:20:35,340 --> 00:20:39,060
And we all know that fizzy drinks
are the quickest way to tooth decay.
400
00:20:39,060 --> 00:20:41,740
And crisps are poison!
401
00:20:41,740 --> 00:20:45,060
Now, before I forget,
I need you to sign this.
402
00:20:45,060 --> 00:20:48,620
It's just a straightforward
confidentiality agreement.
403
00:20:49,620 --> 00:20:51,220
Oh! I don't know.
404
00:20:51,220 --> 00:20:53,100
No, it's routine.
All our staff sign one.
405
00:20:53,100 --> 00:20:56,180
It might conflict with the
contract I have with the hotel.
406
00:20:58,700 --> 00:21:00,620
SHE WEEPS
407
00:21:00,620 --> 00:21:04,380
I'm sorry. Sorry.
408
00:21:08,500 --> 00:21:10,540
Just when I thought
it was going to work.
409
00:21:10,540 --> 00:21:13,060
Darling, what...
I'm sorry. I...
410
00:21:13,060 --> 00:21:15,740
I couldn't think of putting him
in the hands of a stranger.
411
00:21:15,740 --> 00:21:19,340
I could do it without the agreement.
It's impossible.
412
00:21:21,300 --> 00:21:24,300
Just call that manager woman
and tell her to cancel the party.
413
00:21:24,300 --> 00:21:26,620
Darling...
ERIN WEEPS
414
00:21:26,620 --> 00:21:29,580
Darling, please stop it.
We'll sort something out.
415
00:21:29,580 --> 00:21:32,740
ERIN SOBS BITTERLY
416
00:21:32,740 --> 00:21:35,180
OK! I'll sign.
417
00:21:35,180 --> 00:21:39,220
Thanks. It's all yours.
418
00:21:43,700 --> 00:21:47,220
How much do pirates pay
for their earrings?
419
00:21:47,220 --> 00:21:48,860
A buck an ear!
420
00:21:51,580 --> 00:21:53,380
SHE GASPS
Ta-da!
421
00:21:55,460 --> 00:21:58,380
OK, come on,
hit me as hard as you like, eh?
422
00:21:58,380 --> 00:21:59,820
Gino feel nothing, eh?
423
00:22:01,660 --> 00:22:03,180
I wasn't ready.
424
00:22:07,140 --> 00:22:09,620
INAUDIBLE
425
00:22:12,340 --> 00:22:13,820
Come here.
426
00:22:16,780 --> 00:22:18,380
What am I supposed to do?
427
00:22:19,140 --> 00:22:21,060
Oh, educate yourself.
428
00:22:23,180 --> 00:22:27,180
Yeah, that's what he said.
Why am I always the last to hear?
429
00:22:27,180 --> 00:22:30,620
I'll talk to Chef. Thanks.
430
00:22:30,620 --> 00:22:32,100
Sorry.
431
00:22:34,860 --> 00:22:36,660
Hello. I'm Anna.
432
00:22:36,660 --> 00:22:38,180
I know.
433
00:22:38,180 --> 00:22:39,660
Darren.
434
00:22:39,660 --> 00:22:41,100
Was James OK?
435
00:22:41,100 --> 00:22:43,460
I just saw him talking to you.
Oh, yeah.
436
00:22:43,460 --> 00:22:44,900
He's in a bad mood about the boxers.
437
00:22:44,900 --> 00:22:47,460
They want protein drinks,
raw eggs and raw liver.
438
00:22:47,460 --> 00:22:49,900
He never likes it
when people mess with the food.
439
00:22:49,900 --> 00:22:52,580
Right. OK. Listen,
you might find some of the staff
440
00:22:52,580 --> 00:22:55,340
have been a little bit weird
with you today.
441
00:22:55,340 --> 00:22:57,340
That's because of me.
442
00:22:57,340 --> 00:23:00,180
Um, it's... it's a funny story,
443
00:23:00,180 --> 00:23:05,940
but they were pestering me to tell them
who the father of my baby is, and I...
444
00:23:05,940 --> 00:23:08,100
SHE LAUGHS
.. I told them it's you,
445
00:23:08,100 --> 00:23:11,580
which is just ridiculous, I know,
because as if I would...
446
00:23:12,660 --> 00:23:14,140
.. with you!
447
00:23:14,140 --> 00:23:17,580
That would... Urgh, no!
Anyway, if anyone asks, just say
448
00:23:17,580 --> 00:23:20,020
that you are the dad, OK?
Cool, cool.
449
00:23:20,020 --> 00:23:23,740
OK.
Um... quick, now, tell a joke.
450
00:23:23,740 --> 00:23:26,620
I don't know any.
LAUGHS HYSTERICALLY
451
00:23:26,620 --> 00:23:28,740
Oh, you! Oooh! Oooh, you're strong.
452
00:23:28,740 --> 00:23:31,060
SHE GIGGLES
All right...
453
00:23:31,060 --> 00:23:32,700
Ohhh.
MUTTERS EXCITEDLY
454
00:23:32,700 --> 00:23:34,660
Go. Now go.
455
00:23:34,660 --> 00:23:36,940
Oooh, bye! Love you!
456
00:23:36,940 --> 00:23:38,620
What do we have in here?
457
00:23:38,620 --> 00:23:42,460
Er, Anna, sorry about
the sweepstake thing.
458
00:23:42,460 --> 00:23:44,460
That was pretty... pretty tactless.
459
00:23:44,460 --> 00:23:46,460
Yeah, yeah, it was. Yeah.
460
00:23:46,460 --> 00:23:48,700
But you're OK?
461
00:23:48,700 --> 00:23:51,020
Yeah, I'm OK.
462
00:23:51,020 --> 00:23:54,460
You know, I...
I'm having trouble understanding
463
00:23:54,460 --> 00:23:58,420
how you, of all people,
got yourself into this situation.
464
00:23:58,420 --> 00:24:00,060
Yes. Yes, yes.
465
00:24:00,060 --> 00:24:02,100
I do, too, sometimes.
466
00:24:02,100 --> 00:24:03,580
Hmm.
467
00:24:04,580 --> 00:24:07,100
So obviously he's the one.
468
00:24:08,260 --> 00:24:11,420
Yeah. Yeah. I thought he was.
469
00:24:11,420 --> 00:24:14,380
SHE SIGHS HEAVILY
470
00:24:14,380 --> 00:24:16,940
Well, Darren's a nice guy.
471
00:24:18,540 --> 00:24:20,460
Yes, Darren.
472
00:24:20,460 --> 00:24:22,500
Yes. Oooh, he's lovely. Ohhh!
473
00:24:22,500 --> 00:24:24,020
Lovely Darren. Yeah.
474
00:24:24,020 --> 00:24:27,020
Ohhh!
SHE GIGGLES, HE CHUCKLES
475
00:24:29,460 --> 00:24:30,980
Did she say anything?
476
00:24:30,980 --> 00:24:32,820
And is he the dad?
477
00:24:32,820 --> 00:24:35,300
Well, she didn't say that he's not.
478
00:24:35,300 --> 00:24:38,940
The refrigeration system could do
with an overhaul to lower emissions.
479
00:24:38,940 --> 00:24:42,940
I've already booked an engineer to have
a look at all the machinery. Have you?
480
00:24:42,940 --> 00:24:45,260
Yes, well, the ventilation's
inadequate,
481
00:24:45,260 --> 00:24:49,300
the insulation is patchy
and the lighting is uneconomical.
482
00:24:49,300 --> 00:24:52,980
You see, we take green issues
very seriously at Hotel Babylon
483
00:24:52,980 --> 00:24:54,980
and I am determined
to make improvements
484
00:24:54,980 --> 00:24:57,020
as and when
I feel they're necessary.
485
00:24:57,020 --> 00:24:58,500
Shall we?
486
00:24:58,500 --> 00:25:00,780
Hmm. Looks like somebody's
after your job.
487
00:25:06,340 --> 00:25:08,580
Hmm?
488
00:25:08,580 --> 00:25:11,220
You did make sure
there wasn't a small boy here
489
00:25:11,220 --> 00:25:12,780
before you sat down, didn't you?
490
00:25:14,220 --> 00:25:15,460
Oh!
491
00:25:15,460 --> 00:25:17,940
Have you seen a small boy with big
hair? I think I saw him...
492
00:25:29,060 --> 00:25:32,020
What the bloody hell
do you think you're doing?!
493
00:25:32,020 --> 00:25:33,500
Oh, God!
494
00:25:33,500 --> 00:25:35,220
Playing PSP.
495
00:25:35,220 --> 00:25:36,740
And you shouldn't swear.
496
00:25:36,740 --> 00:25:39,140
I was worried sick.
497
00:25:39,140 --> 00:25:41,020
You weren't when you dumped me
in the lobby.
498
00:25:41,020 --> 00:25:43,020
Do you think it's funny,
running off like that?
499
00:25:43,020 --> 00:25:46,100
I didn't run. I walked.
500
00:25:46,100 --> 00:25:47,420
Oh!
501
00:25:49,420 --> 00:25:52,340
What would your parents say
if they knew I lost you?
502
00:25:52,340 --> 00:25:54,220
So it's my parents
you're worried about, not me?
503
00:25:54,220 --> 00:25:55,940
Yes, of course. They're famous.
504
00:25:55,940 --> 00:25:58,900
You're rubbish with kids, eh?
And you're rubbish with adults.
505
00:25:58,900 --> 00:26:00,740
That's because adults ARE rubbish.
506
00:26:01,980 --> 00:26:05,820
Yeah, well, everyone is.
Get used to it - I had to.
507
00:26:08,220 --> 00:26:10,460
I suppose you'll want this back.
508
00:26:10,460 --> 00:26:12,940
I'm not gonna agree, Erin!
509
00:26:12,940 --> 00:26:15,780
I'm his mother!
I'm his bloody dad! So what?
510
00:26:15,780 --> 00:26:18,500
What's going on?
They're arguing about their divorce.
511
00:26:18,500 --> 00:26:21,500
The divorce?! ED: I can
look after him as well as you!
512
00:26:21,500 --> 00:26:23,380
What? Like you did
when I was in Barcelona?
513
00:26:23,380 --> 00:26:24,900
You are such a cow!
514
00:26:24,900 --> 00:26:26,940
Are they always like this?
Most times.
515
00:26:26,940 --> 00:26:28,940
And you just have to listen?
516
00:26:28,940 --> 00:26:31,220
I didn't want to
still be debating this
517
00:26:31,220 --> 00:26:33,460
at our bloody party, Ed!
518
00:26:33,460 --> 00:26:34,980
Then agree to 50/50 custody
519
00:26:34,980 --> 00:26:39,060
and we can go and give all our friends
the full happy Martyns experience!
520
00:26:39,060 --> 00:26:42,900
70/30- that's my final offer.
Just agree to it.
521
00:26:42,900 --> 00:26:45,980
What? So you can squeeze me out?
You are so paranoid!
522
00:26:45,980 --> 00:26:49,220
And you're a scheming cow!
Should I...?
523
00:26:49,220 --> 00:26:51,740
It wasn't me who had
the first affair, sweetheart!
524
00:26:51,740 --> 00:26:54,740
And it wasn't me
who had the slutting last!
525
00:26:54,740 --> 00:26:56,260
Hello! Um...
526
00:26:56,260 --> 00:26:59,940
Just thought I'd let you know
that we're back, and, um...
527
00:26:59,940 --> 00:27:03,860
I'm just going to go,
so you guys just...
528
00:27:03,860 --> 00:27:06,020
and I'll, um, see you tomorrow.
529
00:27:06,020 --> 00:27:07,660
Um... just a second.
530
00:27:07,660 --> 00:27:10,540
This might be a good moment
to remind you
531
00:27:10,540 --> 00:27:14,020
that you have actually signed
a confidentiality agreement.
532
00:27:14,020 --> 00:27:15,340
She knows that! Yeah?
533
00:27:15,340 --> 00:27:17,060
I know that.
534
00:27:18,260 --> 00:27:19,700
Mm-hm?
535
00:27:23,780 --> 00:27:28,620
Why are you such a cow?!
Because I've been married to you
536
00:27:28,620 --> 00:27:30,780
for 12 years! God, I hate you!
537
00:27:32,380 --> 00:27:34,620
Would you like me
to take you somewhere else?
538
00:27:34,620 --> 00:27:36,460
It's OK. I'm used to it.
539
00:27:36,460 --> 00:27:38,540
I'm sorry for being horrible
to you today.
540
00:27:38,540 --> 00:27:41,540
You were just being yourself, right?
541
00:27:41,540 --> 00:27:43,020
Yeah.
542
00:27:45,580 --> 00:27:49,900
No taste! The state of you!
The bloody state of you!
543
00:27:49,900 --> 00:27:53,500
You vile... pink bitch!
544
00:27:54,940 --> 00:27:57,620
You slimy... Oh!
545
00:28:03,460 --> 00:28:06,660
As you can see,
there are notices in every bathroom
546
00:28:06,660 --> 00:28:08,620
telling guests to re-use their
towels.
547
00:28:08,620 --> 00:28:10,820
And we all know that's less
about saving the planet
548
00:28:10,820 --> 00:28:12,820
and more about saving
your laundry bills.
549
00:28:12,820 --> 00:28:14,460
The cleaning products you have
550
00:28:14,460 --> 00:28:16,900
are chock-full of petrochemicals
and phosphates
551
00:28:16,900 --> 00:28:20,220
and are so crammed with
unbiodegradable oils and lards...
552
00:28:20,220 --> 00:28:21,780
So what do I do?
553
00:28:21,780 --> 00:28:24,140
I would suggest
a very large bonfire.
554
00:28:24,140 --> 00:28:27,020
CHUCKLES, CLEARS THROAT
555
00:28:27,020 --> 00:28:28,980
It's the Morrison party
back from the Ivy.
556
00:28:28,980 --> 00:28:31,460
And where's Gomez?
Safely sat up in his room.
557
00:28:31,460 --> 00:28:33,100
It's a code green.
558
00:28:35,460 --> 00:28:36,860
Oh, no!
559
00:28:46,940 --> 00:28:48,820
It's OK. It's OK.
560
00:28:48,820 --> 00:28:51,020
What the hell are you doing here?
561
00:28:51,020 --> 00:28:53,740
I stay here.
What are you doing here?
562
00:28:53,740 --> 00:28:56,980
I'm here to put your lights out,
Mr Gomez!
563
00:28:56,980 --> 00:28:59,820
And I'm here
to castrate the Pitbull, cabron.
564
00:29:00,740 --> 00:29:03,380
Do something. What?
565
00:29:03,380 --> 00:29:06,380
OK, gentlemen, let's
keep a lid on it, nice and friendly.
566
00:29:06,380 --> 00:29:08,780
You know, save it for the ring, eh?
567
00:29:11,220 --> 00:29:13,020
THUMPING AND GRUNTING
568
00:29:18,780 --> 00:29:20,060
Hey!
569
00:29:28,540 --> 00:29:31,340
You're dead...
Wait, stop!
570
00:29:31,340 --> 00:29:33,780
Out of the way. Shut up!
571
00:29:33,780 --> 00:29:35,940
Someone get a doctor!
572
00:29:35,940 --> 00:29:38,180
You should've punched! Yes.
573
00:29:39,340 --> 00:29:41,300
We need to contain this,
keep it out of the press.
574
00:29:41,300 --> 00:29:44,980
OK, I'll go and find Emily.
ANGRY VOICES RECEDE
575
00:29:45,020 --> 00:29:47,420
What happens if it's broken?
576
00:29:47,420 --> 00:29:49,940
Then the fight gets cancelled,
people lose a shitload of money,
577
00:29:49,940 --> 00:29:53,740
and I hate to say this, but this hotel is
up the proverbial creek without a paddle.
578
00:29:53,740 --> 00:29:56,860
Come on, Carlton!
"Come on" what, Sam?
579
00:29:56,860 --> 00:29:59,980
Seriously, you booked both boxers
into the same hotel!
580
00:29:59,980 --> 00:30:02,540
If this didn't hurt so much,
I'd deal with you myself.
581
00:30:02,540 --> 00:30:05,580
I didn't know Gomez was staying here
till after you'd arrived.
582
00:30:05,580 --> 00:30:07,100
And you couldn't tell us then?
583
00:30:07,100 --> 00:30:09,260
You'd have felt you had to leave.
You're a moron!
584
00:30:09,260 --> 00:30:12,020
I'd rather have been
given the choice and have left
585
00:30:12,020 --> 00:30:14,420
because, frankly, with the purse,
the sponsorship,
586
00:30:14,420 --> 00:30:16,860
the television,
the advertising revenue alone,
587
00:30:16,860 --> 00:30:18,540
we stand to lose several million
pounds,
588
00:30:18,540 --> 00:30:20,340
all of which I've got to try
and recoup.
589
00:30:20,340 --> 00:30:23,780
So I'm gonna have to sue this hotel.
590
00:30:23,780 --> 00:30:27,500
Look, I know I messed up, but...
this could ruin me.
591
00:30:27,500 --> 00:30:30,980
Sam, seriously...
mate, this is business, yeah?
592
00:30:30,980 --> 00:30:33,180
Pure and simple.
593
00:30:33,180 --> 00:30:35,140
Anyway, first things first -
594
00:30:35,140 --> 00:30:39,540
I need to get Don's hand X-rayed.
I'll arrange it.
595
00:30:43,940 --> 00:30:46,140
Oh, hey, hey, big lady!
596
00:30:46,140 --> 00:30:47,820
"Big lady"?
597
00:30:47,820 --> 00:30:49,780
Dear me. I've awakened the beast
inside.
598
00:30:49,780 --> 00:30:51,620
No, you are not a big lady.
599
00:30:51,620 --> 00:30:55,460
You are a tiny little rose
with a little baby inside.
600
00:30:55,460 --> 00:30:58,220
Oh, it doesn't matter.
I'm just in a bad mood.
601
00:30:58,220 --> 00:31:00,860
Here. What's this?
602
00:31:00,860 --> 00:31:04,180
This is the Mexican AA.
603
00:31:04,180 --> 00:31:06,420
The Mexican AA? Si.
604
00:31:06,420 --> 00:31:09,620
No alcohol, but spicy flavour.
605
00:31:09,620 --> 00:31:11,340
OK.
606
00:31:11,340 --> 00:31:13,380
Oh! You lost your cherry.
607
00:31:14,380 --> 00:31:15,780
Here.
608
00:31:16,740 --> 00:31:18,620
So what happened?
609
00:31:18,620 --> 00:31:21,220
Oh. The scars of war.
610
00:31:21,220 --> 00:31:23,820
Lucky for Tony that Gino was there
to help him out, eh?
611
00:31:25,220 --> 00:31:27,100
Come on, tell Gino.
612
00:31:28,140 --> 00:31:29,620
You have a baby on the way.
613
00:31:29,620 --> 00:31:33,340
Why are you not blooming
like a big, ripe tomato?
614
00:31:35,100 --> 00:31:37,660
It just... it just hit me
615
00:31:37,660 --> 00:31:40,260
that I'm having a baby.
616
00:31:40,260 --> 00:31:42,700
I knew that I was having a baby,
617
00:31:42,700 --> 00:31:46,260
but I just realised that I'm,
like, actually having a baby.
618
00:31:46,260 --> 00:31:47,980
Like, I'm going to have a baby.
619
00:31:47,980 --> 00:31:49,660
I don't have anything ready.
620
00:31:49,660 --> 00:31:51,700
I don't have a nursery,
I haven't got any nappies.
621
00:31:51,700 --> 00:31:55,380
I went out to buy a cot the other
day and I came back with new shoes.
622
00:31:55,380 --> 00:31:57,060
How are new shoes -
even gorgeous ones...
623
00:31:57,060 --> 00:31:59,060
They're velvet
and have diamante heels.
624
00:31:59,060 --> 00:32:00,860
.. how are they going to help my
baby?
625
00:32:00,860 --> 00:32:03,180
And what sort of a well-dressed
mother does that make me?
626
00:32:03,180 --> 00:32:06,500
Look, nobody is good with kids
until they actually have kids.
627
00:32:06,500 --> 00:32:07,980
I have a son, you know?
628
00:32:07,980 --> 00:32:10,940
Yeah, I know - little Gino.
Oh, no, no, this is another one,
629
00:32:10,940 --> 00:32:13,180
in Barcelona. He's 12. Cristiano.
630
00:32:13,180 --> 00:32:14,940
Do they not have
sex education in Spain?
631
00:32:14,940 --> 00:32:16,420
Oh, yes.
632
00:32:16,420 --> 00:32:18,620
I was a young waiter in a hotel.
633
00:32:18,620 --> 00:32:23,020
29, charming, handsome, virile.
A ladies' man, you know?
634
00:32:23,020 --> 00:32:24,580
No, I can't picture that.
635
00:32:24,580 --> 00:32:26,980
Well, Martha pictured it.
636
00:32:26,980 --> 00:32:28,660
She was the waitress
637
00:32:28,660 --> 00:32:32,220
and we did the naked mambo
underneath a bloody red moon.
638
00:32:32,220 --> 00:32:33,500
God!
639
00:32:33,500 --> 00:32:37,980
But I get the wanderlust again,
I move off to pastures new.
640
00:32:37,980 --> 00:32:40,940
I didn't know about him
until four years ago,
641
00:32:40,940 --> 00:32:45,140
when my sister got absolutely
bladdered at a party and blurt it out.
642
00:32:45,140 --> 00:32:46,860
What did you do when you found out?
643
00:32:46,860 --> 00:32:48,420
What could I do, eh?
644
00:32:48,420 --> 00:32:50,900
She has robbed me of the chance
of being his father.
645
00:32:50,900 --> 00:32:54,260
Is that how you feel,
that you were robbed?
646
00:32:54,260 --> 00:32:57,380
Every child needs his father.
647
00:32:57,380 --> 00:33:01,180
And every father needs his child.
648
00:33:03,180 --> 00:33:05,260
A man has a right
to know the truth, eh?
649
00:33:06,820 --> 00:33:09,380
But... but you're OK.
650
00:33:09,380 --> 00:33:12,100
You have your father.
You have Darren.
651
00:33:12,100 --> 00:33:16,020
He be very good
for... bringing sandwiches.
652
00:33:16,020 --> 00:33:18,220
A waiter.
653
00:33:18,220 --> 00:33:20,180
Very useful.
654
00:33:21,380 --> 00:33:24,420
As you can see, we already have an
extensive recycling system in place,
655
00:33:24,420 --> 00:33:27,180
so shall we move on? Wait!
656
00:33:29,300 --> 00:33:32,460
This was in with the brown glass.
657
00:33:36,580 --> 00:33:39,580
Looks like I'm going to have to dig
a lot deeper.
658
00:33:44,180 --> 00:33:45,660
Ooh!
659
00:33:47,180 --> 00:33:49,580
I hope you've got rubber gloves.
660
00:33:49,580 --> 00:33:52,620
"ROCKY THEME" PLAYS
661
00:34:05,660 --> 00:34:07,140
RECORD SCRATCHES, MUSIC ENDS
662
00:34:10,980 --> 00:34:14,300
So... what's she like, eh? Who?
663
00:34:14,300 --> 00:34:15,620
Anna.
664
00:34:15,620 --> 00:34:18,260
I bet she's like
a dark-haired Venus, eh?
665
00:34:18,260 --> 00:34:19,700
Yeah.
666
00:34:19,700 --> 00:34:21,620
Like a tigress, eh?
667
00:34:21,620 --> 00:34:23,980
Yeah, it was electric.
No hanky-panky, eh?
668
00:34:23,980 --> 00:34:27,860
Otherwise you'll have Gino
to answer to, eh? OK? Right.
669
00:34:27,860 --> 00:34:29,100
OK.
670
00:34:29,100 --> 00:34:30,380
Go.
671
00:34:32,660 --> 00:34:35,300
Sam, I need to speak to you urgently
672
00:34:35,300 --> 00:34:37,860
about the Green Pillow man.
What's he still doing here?
673
00:34:37,860 --> 00:34:41,140
Well, as the day's gone on,
he's got harder and harder to please.
674
00:34:41,140 --> 00:34:44,180
What do you want me to do about it?
Well, talk to him.
675
00:34:44,180 --> 00:34:46,940
I mean, it will help...
the restaurant.
676
00:34:47,980 --> 00:34:49,380
Oh, joy
677
00:34:53,060 --> 00:34:54,860
Red snapper. Where's that from?
678
00:34:54,860 --> 00:34:56,860
The Gulf of Mexico, I believe.
679
00:34:56,860 --> 00:34:59,740
There's also some great British
produce, right, James?
680
00:34:59,740 --> 00:35:02,060
The odd cheese, I suppose.
681
00:35:02,060 --> 00:35:05,500
Australian barramundi.
New Zealand lamb.
682
00:35:05,500 --> 00:35:09,340
Oh, I see you're offering
mangosteen from Thailand.
683
00:35:09,340 --> 00:35:12,140
It's an extensive menu
of fine dining.
684
00:35:12,140 --> 00:35:16,100
An extensive global menu that's clocking
up the air miles and CO2 emissions.
685
00:35:16,100 --> 00:35:18,260
I think you'll find we're no
more profligate
686
00:35:18,260 --> 00:35:20,980
than any other Michelin-starred
restaurant, Mr Carrick.
687
00:35:20,980 --> 00:35:23,380
Which is no excuse for complacency.
688
00:35:25,140 --> 00:35:28,420
Oh, I can see I'm gonna be here
for some considerable time.
689
00:35:28,420 --> 00:35:32,660
I suppose I should find
somewhere nearby to stay overnight.
690
00:35:32,660 --> 00:35:34,500
Why don't we organise
a room for you here?
691
00:35:34,500 --> 00:35:35,620
I don't think so!
692
00:35:35,620 --> 00:35:38,660
We're eager to facilitate this
process in any way we can.
693
00:35:39,860 --> 00:35:41,180
Well...
694
00:35:41,180 --> 00:35:42,980
Have the room for as long as you
like.
695
00:35:42,980 --> 00:35:45,660
Emily, if you'd like to get
Mr Carrick checked in.
696
00:35:45,660 --> 00:35:48,740
Superior room.
Yes. This way, please, Mr Carrick.
697
00:35:57,980 --> 00:35:59,460
Checking up on me?
698
00:35:59,460 --> 00:36:02,700
No, I... I just came to apologise.
699
00:36:02,700 --> 00:36:04,940
It was a crappy thing I did and I'm
sorry.
700
00:36:04,940 --> 00:36:06,980
It's all right.
701
00:36:06,980 --> 00:36:10,460
I quite enjoyed people thinking
I was the dad. It felt good.
702
00:36:10,460 --> 00:36:14,100
Well, I'm going to tell everyone
you're not and let you off the hook.
703
00:36:16,180 --> 00:36:18,380
You don't have to.
704
00:36:18,380 --> 00:36:21,420
I mean, I've been playing along.
It's cool.
705
00:36:23,420 --> 00:36:24,500
Really?
706
00:36:27,060 --> 00:36:31,660
All right. Well, er...
just don't get any weird ideas, OK?
707
00:36:31,660 --> 00:36:33,100
OK, darling.
708
00:36:34,340 --> 00:36:35,820
Too much, right?
709
00:36:35,820 --> 00:36:37,620
WAY too much.
710
00:36:37,620 --> 00:36:39,100
Yeah.
711
00:36:42,060 --> 00:36:44,100
HE CHUCKLES
712
00:36:44,100 --> 00:36:45,340
Whoo!
713
00:36:45,340 --> 00:36:46,860
"ROCKY THEME" PLAYS
714
00:36:46,860 --> 00:36:48,340
Want some more, eh?
715
00:36:48,340 --> 00:36:51,220
Want some more of Gino the Bull?
716
00:36:51,220 --> 00:36:54,100
In the red corner, the Bull!
717
00:36:54,100 --> 00:36:56,380
Round two. Pow! Pow!
718
00:36:56,380 --> 00:36:59,820
Look at the Bull go. Look at him go.
He's gonna kill him.
719
00:36:59,820 --> 00:37:03,460
He'll kill him. Bah! Bah! Dah! Gino!
720
00:37:03,460 --> 00:37:06,700
Gino! Gino! Gino! Gino!
721
00:37:06,700 --> 00:37:08,340
MUSIC WINDS DOWN
722
00:37:09,740 --> 00:37:11,340
CLEARS THROAT
723
00:37:11,340 --> 00:37:13,100
So, I heard about the brawl
in reception.
724
00:37:13,100 --> 00:37:15,540
Somebody said that you were...
What was it?
725
00:37:15,540 --> 00:37:18,380
.. slapping like a girl. What?
726
00:37:18,380 --> 00:37:19,860
Look, I'll have you know,
727
00:37:19,860 --> 00:37:21,900
when I was a young man,
I was a boxer, eh?
728
00:37:21,900 --> 00:37:24,740
Punched in the head repeatedly as a
youth.
729
00:37:24,740 --> 00:37:26,380
Explains a lot.
730
00:37:30,180 --> 00:37:32,780
Emily, what room
is that inspector in?
731
00:37:32,780 --> 00:37:34,980
Oh... 301. Why?
732
00:37:34,980 --> 00:37:36,380
Thought so.
733
00:37:37,380 --> 00:37:39,620
Room service. Lobster?
734
00:37:39,620 --> 00:37:42,900
Green-lipped mussels?
Mozambique lobster,
735
00:37:42,900 --> 00:37:46,380
Norwegian mussels
and a very fine French champagne.
736
00:37:46,380 --> 00:37:49,420
You look closely,
the cracks always start to show.
737
00:37:49,420 --> 00:37:51,900
I am gonna have him
monitored overnight.
738
00:37:54,860 --> 00:37:57,020
But everyone's got secrets.
Good night.
739
00:37:57,020 --> 00:37:58,980
You must have some dirt to dish on
them.
740
00:37:58,980 --> 00:38:01,740
I can't tell you.
But you tell me everything.
741
00:38:03,220 --> 00:38:04,540
Hang on.
742
00:38:08,940 --> 00:38:13,060
What's that? Well, they made me sign
a confidentiality agreement,
743
00:38:13,060 --> 00:38:17,060
so if I do one with you, then I can
tell you anything, right? Bring it on.
744
00:38:25,340 --> 00:38:26,820
OK.
745
00:38:26,820 --> 00:38:28,980
OK.
746
00:38:28,980 --> 00:38:30,980
Now spill the beans.
747
00:38:30,980 --> 00:38:34,780
The Martyns... are getting a divorce.
748
00:38:34,780 --> 00:38:35,940
No! Yeah.
749
00:38:35,940 --> 00:38:37,020
No!
750
00:38:46,100 --> 00:38:47,700
Can I help you, madam?
751
00:38:47,700 --> 00:38:51,460
I'm sure you could. Unfortunately,
I'm here to meet a friend.
752
00:38:51,460 --> 00:38:53,740
If you ask at the front desk,
they'll help you find him.
753
00:38:53,740 --> 00:38:55,220
Thanks.
754
00:38:58,980 --> 00:39:01,980
What's the world record
for owning and then losing a hotel?
755
00:39:01,980 --> 00:39:03,980
Whatever it is,
I'm sure you're in the running.
756
00:39:05,980 --> 00:39:08,900
Given the chance, I could've made
a pretty good fist of this place.
757
00:39:08,900 --> 00:39:11,180
Come on, Sam,
you've been down before.
758
00:39:11,180 --> 00:39:15,340
Yeah, but I've usually had some
assets tucked away somewhere before.
759
00:39:15,340 --> 00:39:16,660
But this time...
760
00:39:16,660 --> 00:39:18,300
You've always loved a challenge.
761
00:39:18,300 --> 00:39:20,020
Carlton says that's why I married
you.
762
00:39:20,020 --> 00:39:23,420
And Carlton's a real expert
on relationships, isn't he?
763
00:39:23,420 --> 00:39:26,580
You've really got it in for him,
haven't you?
764
00:39:26,580 --> 00:39:28,940
He made a pass at me
when we were married.
765
00:39:32,700 --> 00:39:33,900
When?
766
00:39:33,900 --> 00:39:35,380
You were in Scandinavia
767
00:39:35,380 --> 00:39:39,100
trying to get that bottled water
business off the ground
768
00:39:39,100 --> 00:39:42,660
and he called round and took me out.
769
00:39:42,660 --> 00:39:47,180
I think he thought as he'd forked out
for dinner that I owed him something.
770
00:39:48,940 --> 00:39:50,900
And on that happy note...
771
00:39:56,140 --> 00:39:59,340
.. I'm gonna get some sleep.
You don't fancy another?
772
00:40:00,700 --> 00:40:03,100
No. I'll see you tomorrow.
773
00:40:20,740 --> 00:40:22,220
HE SIGHS
774
00:40:25,060 --> 00:40:26,540
ERIN HUFFS
775
00:40:30,300 --> 00:40:33,020
I thought we were gonna have
a moratorium on this subject
776
00:40:33,020 --> 00:40:34,500
for the duration of the party.
777
00:40:34,500 --> 00:40:36,860
You'd like that, wouldn't you?
Sweep it under the carpet.
778
00:40:36,860 --> 00:40:39,060
We're never gonna agree
about custody, are we?
779
00:40:39,060 --> 00:40:41,340
Well, not until you stop
trying to screw me over, no!
780
00:40:41,340 --> 00:40:43,660
Please, don't use the word "screw"
in relation to you and I.
781
00:40:43,660 --> 00:40:45,140
It makes me feel unwell.
782
00:40:45,140 --> 00:40:48,460
You're trying to reduce the amount
of time I get to spend with Tyler,
783
00:40:48,460 --> 00:40:50,620
which I will not stand for,
you poisonous...
784
00:40:50,620 --> 00:40:54,540
Hi. Matt! Jody!
Glad you could make it.
785
00:40:54,540 --> 00:40:57,220
Hi! Oh, lipstick, sorry.
Catch up with you in a bit.
786
00:40:57,220 --> 00:40:58,980
I will never back down over this.
787
00:40:58,980 --> 00:41:01,660
That's why I made a decision last
night. About what?
788
00:41:01,660 --> 00:41:04,900
I've had an offer from the US to set
up a media branch of our business there.
789
00:41:04,900 --> 00:41:07,820
Phoned my lawyers first thing this
morning, told them it was a goer.
790
00:41:07,820 --> 00:41:12,100
Hi. Glad you could make it.
Sergio! Come vai? Tutto posto?
791
00:41:12,100 --> 00:41:13,660
Great to see you.
792
00:41:13,660 --> 00:41:16,260
Tyler and I will be splitting our
time between here and the States.
793
00:41:16,260 --> 00:41:20,220
Been planning this all along, haven't
you? You selfish, conniving bitch!
794
00:41:20,220 --> 00:41:22,820
Oh, I'm so glad you could come!
Hi, Jacob!
795
00:41:22,820 --> 00:41:25,660
What a surprise. I didn't think
you'd make it. Great to see you.
796
00:41:25,660 --> 00:41:28,540
CHATTER
797
00:41:29,460 --> 00:41:31,900
One, two, three, four, and four more.
798
00:41:31,900 --> 00:41:34,140
DRUM ROLL, UPBEAT MUSIC
799
00:41:34,140 --> 00:41:37,580
ALL CHEER AND LAUGH
800
00:41:51,540 --> 00:41:53,780
The hand is definitely fractured?
Afraid so.
801
00:41:53,780 --> 00:41:55,780
So I'm gonna have to instruct my
lawyers
802
00:41:55,780 --> 00:41:57,780
to start legal proceedings
against the hotel.
803
00:41:57,780 --> 00:41:59,700
Don't do this.
I don't have a choice.
804
00:41:59,700 --> 00:42:02,180
Carlton, we've been friends
for years.
805
00:42:02,180 --> 00:42:05,300
Listen, Sam, there is no way
I can absorb these costs myself, OK?
806
00:42:05,300 --> 00:42:08,180
And the bottom line is
you messed up.
807
00:42:14,420 --> 00:42:17,740
All right, look, the only possible
alternative I can think of
808
00:42:17,740 --> 00:42:20,620
is if we come to some agreement.
809
00:42:20,620 --> 00:42:22,940
Settle out of court?
810
00:42:22,940 --> 00:42:24,820
Did you have a figure in mind?
811
00:42:24,820 --> 00:42:27,460
It's gotta be a figure I'm happy
with. Of course it has.
812
00:42:27,460 --> 00:42:29,140
Hey, Jules, I'm reaching out here.
813
00:42:29,140 --> 00:42:32,500
You're all heart
I'm the wronged bloody party!
814
00:42:32,500 --> 00:42:35,260
Tell me something I DON'T know.
OK, can I make a suggestion?
815
00:42:35,260 --> 00:42:38,700
Can I suggest you piss off and let
Sam and I deal with this ourselves?
816
00:42:38,700 --> 00:42:40,700
Did you just tell Juliet
to piss off?
817
00:42:40,700 --> 00:42:42,420
Yes, I did. Sound advice.
818
00:42:42,420 --> 00:42:43,940
Why don't I make a suggestion?
819
00:42:43,940 --> 00:42:49,300
If you're gonna sue me, then let's
do it through the proper channels.
820
00:42:52,740 --> 00:42:55,580
Sam, you are making a HUGE mistake.
821
00:42:55,580 --> 00:42:58,460
No, I made a huge mistake thinking
you were someone I could trust.
822
00:43:00,300 --> 00:43:01,780
DOOR CLOSES
823
00:43:09,420 --> 00:43:11,740
So it's only fair
that I keep you all in the loop.
824
00:43:11,740 --> 00:43:13,540
We may well be taken to court
over this,
825
00:43:13,540 --> 00:43:15,740
and if we are, it could turn nasty.
826
00:43:15,740 --> 00:43:17,900
I don't remember seeing Morrison
throw a punch.
827
00:43:17,900 --> 00:43:19,580
What?
828
00:43:19,580 --> 00:43:21,940
Well, I'm trying to work out
when he actually hurt his hand,
829
00:43:21,940 --> 00:43:24,540
and I don't remember
seeing him throw a right.
830
00:43:24,540 --> 00:43:26,020
Look, he must have done.
831
00:43:26,020 --> 00:43:27,940
He's soft, anyway.
832
00:43:27,940 --> 00:43:30,060
I shook his hand when he first
arrive,
833
00:43:30,060 --> 00:43:31,820
and he cry like a baby.
834
00:43:31,820 --> 00:43:33,980
Gino is, er, stronger than he know.
835
00:43:33,980 --> 00:43:35,980
Show me how you shook it.
836
00:43:35,980 --> 00:43:37,900
Like this.
837
00:43:38,900 --> 00:43:40,180
Oh!
838
00:43:40,180 --> 00:43:42,100
Yeah, OK, that's like a limp lettuce.
839
00:43:42,100 --> 00:43:44,140
Hey! How could that have hurt him?
840
00:43:44,140 --> 00:43:46,140
CRIES OUT
841
00:43:46,140 --> 00:43:48,220
He had it cocked,
but he never actually threw it.
842
00:43:48,220 --> 00:43:50,740
What, you're an expert on boxing,
all of a sudden?
843
00:43:50,740 --> 00:43:52,540
I had an ex-boyfriend
who was a boxer.
844
00:43:53,780 --> 00:43:55,260
You went out with a boxer?
845
00:43:55,260 --> 00:43:57,980
I didn't go into a nunnery
after our divorce.
846
00:43:57,980 --> 00:44:01,940
What was he?
Middleweight? Light welter?
847
00:44:01,940 --> 00:44:03,100
Does it matter?
848
00:44:03,100 --> 00:44:05,060
No. Not to me. No.
849
00:44:05,060 --> 00:44:07,980
Do you think that Morrison hurt
his hand before he got here?
850
00:44:07,980 --> 00:44:09,540
There's a good chance, yeah.
851
00:44:09,540 --> 00:44:10,900
Ah!
852
00:44:15,620 --> 00:44:18,380
Carlton, just the man
we wanted to see.
853
00:44:18,380 --> 00:44:19,740
Notified your lawyers yet?
854
00:44:19,740 --> 00:44:22,380
We thought we'd give you a chance
to explain yourself first.
855
00:44:22,380 --> 00:44:23,540
Explain myself?
856
00:44:23,540 --> 00:44:27,020
Is this your pathetic attempt
to try and wheedle out of being sued?
857
00:44:27,020 --> 00:44:29,060
No, it's our way of saying
we know what you did.
858
00:44:32,860 --> 00:44:35,140
When did you injure your hand, Don?
859
00:44:35,140 --> 00:44:37,540
It wasn't last night, was it?
860
00:44:37,540 --> 00:44:39,660
Seriously,
you are wasting your time.
861
00:44:39,660 --> 00:44:41,580
Something to hide, Carlton?
862
00:44:41,580 --> 00:44:45,620
You knew Gomez was staying here
before you came, didn't you?
863
00:44:45,620 --> 00:44:47,620
What did Carlton tell you?
864
00:44:47,620 --> 00:44:49,780
What did he offer you
to carry out the con?
865
00:44:49,780 --> 00:44:52,220
All right, look, I want you
out of my room now.
866
00:44:52,220 --> 00:44:53,740
It's not your room, it's mine.
867
00:44:53,740 --> 00:44:56,020
Not for much longer, mate,
if things go my way.
868
00:44:56,020 --> 00:44:58,780
I understand why a devious slug
like Carlton would do this,
869
00:44:58,780 --> 00:45:02,380
but you don't strike me
as a dishonest person.
870
00:45:02,380 --> 00:45:03,860
I'm not.
871
00:45:03,860 --> 00:45:07,140
You're a champion, a great
sportsman. You believe in fair play!
872
00:45:07,140 --> 00:45:08,620
Oh, please!
873
00:45:08,620 --> 00:45:10,980
Don...
874
00:45:10,980 --> 00:45:14,500
think about this very carefully.
875
00:45:15,980 --> 00:45:17,820
Remember what's at stake.
876
00:45:17,820 --> 00:45:20,900
Carlton's priorities lie
solely with himself.
877
00:45:22,820 --> 00:45:24,860
When did you injure your hand?
878
00:45:24,860 --> 00:45:26,900
Honestly.
879
00:45:29,220 --> 00:45:30,700
A month ago.
880
00:45:31,860 --> 00:45:34,300
I'll call Jake Samuels,
see where we stand media-wise.
881
00:45:34,300 --> 00:45:35,780
Juliet, it's started.
882
00:45:35,780 --> 00:45:38,780
I've already been fielding calls from
the press about a brawl in a hotel.
883
00:45:38,780 --> 00:45:41,100
Then organise
a press conference for Don Morrison
884
00:45:41,100 --> 00:45:42,860
to appease the journos
for the time being.
885
00:45:42,860 --> 00:45:44,420
OK. Emily!
886
00:45:44,420 --> 00:45:48,180
Sorry. Did you have a chance to tell Sam
about our eco-warrior's room service order?
887
00:45:48,180 --> 00:45:49,900
Yes. Has anything else happened?
888
00:45:49,900 --> 00:45:52,660
Well, he had told me that he wanted
to do a random inspection today.
889
00:45:52,660 --> 00:45:56,940
Which is odd, because Tanya says he hasn't
taken the "do not disturb" sign off his door.
890
00:45:56,940 --> 00:45:59,620
Fine. We should disturb him.
891
00:46:07,060 --> 00:46:08,540
LOCK BEEPS
892
00:46:10,900 --> 00:46:12,340
Mr Carrick?
893
00:46:13,500 --> 00:46:15,780
He's used every towel in the hotel.
894
00:46:15,780 --> 00:46:18,420
The air conditioning's on full
blast. Windows are open.
895
00:46:18,420 --> 00:46:21,980
You are so clever,
squeezing a whole night out of them!
896
00:46:21,980 --> 00:46:25,940
SQUEALING AND GIGGLING
897
00:46:28,700 --> 00:46:30,580
Oh!
898
00:46:32,780 --> 00:46:36,740
You had me running round like a blue-arsed
fly, and for what? I really am sorry,
899
00:46:36,740 --> 00:46:40,980
but you should see some of the dumps
I usually have to inspect.
900
00:46:40,980 --> 00:46:45,340
I just thought one night of luxury
to compensate for the other 300-odd
901
00:46:45,340 --> 00:46:48,940
spent in lumpy beds with
migraine-inducing wallpaper.
902
00:46:48,940 --> 00:46:52,500
So what are you going to rate us?
I think I can guarantee you
903
00:46:52,500 --> 00:46:54,220
a four-point rating.
904
00:46:54,220 --> 00:46:57,580
Huh! No-one gets five!
905
00:46:57,580 --> 00:46:58,700
SQUEALS
906
00:47:01,180 --> 00:47:02,580
Thanks.
907
00:47:05,700 --> 00:47:08,620
Now, I'm not going to bore you
with a long speech.
908
00:47:08,620 --> 00:47:11,100
I'm going to bore you
with a short one instead.
909
00:47:11,100 --> 00:47:13,460
POLITE LAUGHTER
Thank you.
910
00:47:13,460 --> 00:47:18,420
Thank you, thank you all for coming
and sharing this bleakest of moments
911
00:47:18,420 --> 00:47:21,220
where Ed and I topple headlong
into our 40s.
912
00:47:21,220 --> 00:47:23,580
Argh!
LAUGHTER
913
00:47:23,580 --> 00:47:25,860
Talking of whom, thanks, Ed,
914
00:47:25,860 --> 00:47:29,340
for 12 glorious years of marriage.
915
00:47:32,420 --> 00:47:35,740
And to our terrific son, Tyler.
916
00:47:35,740 --> 00:47:39,100
Aw!
I love you both very, very much.
917
00:47:39,100 --> 00:47:43,340
Now, as you all know,
Ed's a bit of a nerd -
918
00:47:43,340 --> 00:47:45,580
a poetry nerd.
919
00:47:46,580 --> 00:47:50,460
So I asked him to write us
a bit of a poem for our birthday,
920
00:47:50,460 --> 00:47:52,420
and in a moment of utter madness
921
00:47:52,420 --> 00:47:54,860
and with the promise
of various sexual favours,
922
00:47:54,860 --> 00:47:56,340
he agreed.
923
00:47:57,380 --> 00:48:02,060
So before he becomes too incapable,
over to you, darling!
924
00:48:03,060 --> 00:48:05,140
Darling. Yes, darling.
925
00:48:09,820 --> 00:48:11,860
Thank you, darling.
926
00:48:11,860 --> 00:48:14,780
CLEARS THROAT
927
00:48:14,780 --> 00:48:19,260
"The end of love should be a big
event.
928
00:48:19,260 --> 00:48:22,420
"It should involve
the hiring of a hall.
929
00:48:22,420 --> 00:48:24,780
"Why the hell not?
It happens to us all.
930
00:48:24,780 --> 00:48:28,580
"Why should it pass
without acknowledgement?
931
00:48:28,580 --> 00:48:32,340
"Suits should be dry-cleaned,
invitations sent.
932
00:48:32,340 --> 00:48:35,940
"Whatever form it takes -
a tiff, a brawl -
933
00:48:35,940 --> 00:48:39,620
"The end of love should be a big
event.
934
00:48:39,620 --> 00:48:42,580
"It should involve
the hiring of a hall... "
935
00:48:42,580 --> 00:48:43,740
ERIN LAUGHS
936
00:48:43,740 --> 00:48:46,180
".. Better than
the unquestioning descent
937
00:48:46,180 --> 00:48:49,940
"Into the trap of silence,
than the crawl
938
00:48:49,940 --> 00:48:55,420
"From visible to hidden,
from door to wall. "
939
00:48:56,900 --> 00:48:58,820
Thank you.
940
00:48:58,820 --> 00:49:01,460
As you've probably gathered,
that's not one of mine.
941
00:49:01,460 --> 00:49:05,060
It's by Sophie Hannah.
A little more appropriate, though.
942
00:49:11,820 --> 00:49:15,420
Let's give him a great big round
of applause. He likes those.
943
00:49:22,980 --> 00:49:24,100
Ed?
944
00:49:24,100 --> 00:49:26,220
KNOCKING
Tyler!
945
00:49:27,980 --> 00:49:31,620
I told him to come back inside,
but he wouldn't. What?
946
00:49:31,620 --> 00:49:32,700
Blahhh!
947
00:49:33,980 --> 00:49:36,500
Ed, what on earth are you doing?
948
00:49:36,500 --> 00:49:39,140
Stay there.
You're missing the party.
949
00:49:39,140 --> 00:49:40,860
Good. I hate parties.
950
00:49:43,140 --> 00:49:45,380
Where's Erin?
She's downstairs still.
951
00:49:45,380 --> 00:49:48,380
Pouring oil on troubled waters?
CHUCKLES
952
00:49:48,380 --> 00:49:49,500
That's my girl.
953
00:49:49,500 --> 00:49:52,340
Why don't you go back downstairs...
Stay there!
954
00:49:52,340 --> 00:49:54,860
Save the full-blown breakdown
for tomorrow morning.
955
00:49:54,860 --> 00:49:57,420
She's toying with me.
956
00:49:57,420 --> 00:49:59,940
I don't stand a chance
of getting custody,
957
00:49:59,940 --> 00:50:04,060
because between her and her hot-shot
lawyers, she'll freeze me out.
958
00:50:04,060 --> 00:50:07,140
So how is being drunk and abusive
gonna help your cause?
959
00:50:08,700 --> 00:50:12,380
Ed, be careful! This is
the seventh floor, for God's sake!
960
00:50:12,380 --> 00:50:15,980
What, between the devil
and the deep blue sea?
961
00:50:15,980 --> 00:50:17,740
Argh! Ed!
962
00:50:17,740 --> 00:50:22,420
I'm just testing you.
How many of those have you got?
963
00:50:24,460 --> 00:50:25,940
What's wrong with him?
964
00:50:25,940 --> 00:50:29,940
He's just a little bit tired and
emotional, that's all. Right, Ed?
965
00:50:29,940 --> 00:50:32,620
Tired is right.
966
00:50:32,620 --> 00:50:35,300
Sick and bloody tired.
967
00:50:35,300 --> 00:50:37,340
Ed! Mum!
968
00:50:37,340 --> 00:50:38,620
Tyler! Oh, right on cue!
969
00:50:38,620 --> 00:50:40,380
He's a selfish sod.
I'm gonna kill him.
970
00:50:40,380 --> 00:50:42,460
You stay in there, you!
971
00:50:42,460 --> 00:50:45,140
What the hell are you doing?
972
00:50:45,140 --> 00:50:47,980
And what was all that about
downstairs?
973
00:50:47,980 --> 00:50:51,980
Have you any idea how hard it's been
convincing people nothing's wrong?
974
00:50:51,980 --> 00:50:53,220
Then don't.
975
00:50:53,220 --> 00:50:55,460
We agreed how
we were gonna work this.
976
00:50:55,460 --> 00:50:57,180
But it's all bullshit!
977
00:50:57,180 --> 00:50:59,460
Well, this is it, Ed. Yeah? The end.
978
00:50:59,460 --> 00:51:02,580
Please! Don't do this!
Yes, the bitter bloody end.
979
00:51:02,580 --> 00:51:05,460
You're a selfish bastard.
So you're calling ME selfish?
980
00:51:05,460 --> 00:51:06,780
Yes, I bloody am.
981
00:51:06,780 --> 00:51:08,700
Right, stop! Just stop it now!
982
00:51:10,220 --> 00:51:13,340
All I've heard from both of you
is how bad YOU'RE feeling
983
00:51:13,340 --> 00:51:14,820
and what YOU want.
984
00:51:14,820 --> 00:51:17,220
But there is another person
caught in the middle of this
985
00:51:17,220 --> 00:51:20,660
and if you'd stop for one second to
think what HE wants or how HE'S feeling...
986
00:51:20,660 --> 00:51:24,020
Because I've been with Tyler
less than 12 hours,
987
00:51:24,020 --> 00:51:27,060
and I can see that this
is making him miserable.
988
00:51:27,060 --> 00:51:31,100
It is making you all really miserable.
He doesn't understand what's going on.
989
00:51:31,100 --> 00:51:32,620
Oh, no, yes, he does,
990
00:51:32,620 --> 00:51:36,220
because he's had to listen to you
every day for months!
991
00:51:36,220 --> 00:51:38,980
He understands
better than you two idiots.
992
00:51:38,980 --> 00:51:41,500
So just talk to him.
993
00:51:41,500 --> 00:51:45,780
Find out what HE wants
before it's too late.
994
00:51:45,780 --> 00:51:50,060
I know the first thing he wants is for
you to get off that bloody wall. Get down!
995
00:51:53,540 --> 00:51:54,860
Right, now, get in!
996
00:51:59,580 --> 00:52:01,340
Now, sit down.
997
00:52:04,620 --> 00:52:06,380
Now... talk.
998
00:52:07,380 --> 00:52:10,060
I'm sorry. Sorry.
999
00:52:21,660 --> 00:52:24,220
Welcome, everyone.
1000
00:52:24,220 --> 00:52:27,540
I think we all agree that
it's been an incredibly frustrating
1001
00:52:27,540 --> 00:52:30,020
and disappointing 24 hours
1002
00:52:30,020 --> 00:52:33,620
for boxing fans
and for Mr Morrison in particular.
1003
00:52:33,620 --> 00:52:36,940
He has a prepared statement
that he'd like to read out.
1004
00:52:40,460 --> 00:52:45,980
I apologise... to Fernando
and his team,
1005
00:52:45,980 --> 00:52:47,420
to my team,
1006
00:52:47,420 --> 00:52:50,700
and most of all, to the fans.
1007
00:52:52,780 --> 00:52:54,780
I'm a fighter.
1008
00:52:54,780 --> 00:52:57,620
All I want to do is fight.
1009
00:52:57,620 --> 00:53:01,540
And I let myself be misled
by a bad manager and...
1010
00:53:01,540 --> 00:53:03,860
I'm really sorry.
1011
00:53:08,260 --> 00:53:10,380
HE CRIES
1012
00:53:12,660 --> 00:53:14,780
HE SOBS
1013
00:53:19,060 --> 00:53:20,300
Thank you very much.
1014
00:53:29,660 --> 00:53:31,340
Oh!
1015
00:53:37,820 --> 00:53:39,900
.. Which means
we aren't going to America,
1016
00:53:39,900 --> 00:53:41,540
so I can see Dad when I like.
1017
00:53:41,540 --> 00:53:43,340
Well, that's good.
1018
00:53:43,340 --> 00:53:45,740
If they're not happy,
they should split up, right?
1019
00:53:45,740 --> 00:53:47,780
Yeah. I think so.
1020
00:53:47,780 --> 00:53:51,420
Here, you should have this
- for when it gets too much in reception.
1021
00:53:51,420 --> 00:53:55,580
Thank you very much.
Is it a boy or a girl?
1022
00:53:55,580 --> 00:53:57,140
Do you know, I have no idea.
1023
00:53:57,140 --> 00:53:59,380
Whatever it is, it's lucky.
Why do you say that?
1024
00:53:59,380 --> 00:54:02,340
Because it'll have a good mum.
1025
00:54:02,340 --> 00:54:03,940
Do you think so?
1026
00:54:03,940 --> 00:54:06,340
If it all goes wrong with the dad,
1027
00:54:06,340 --> 00:54:08,740
promise you won't stay together
just for the kid.
1028
00:54:09,740 --> 00:54:11,580
OK, I promise.
1029
00:54:12,460 --> 00:54:14,180
You sure you're only 11?
1030
00:54:14,180 --> 00:54:16,580
Right, so how do we kill zombies?
1031
00:54:18,700 --> 00:54:21,660
Yeah, so maybe we're missing a trick
here.
1032
00:54:21,660 --> 00:54:23,940
I mean, after we release
the news of the divorce,
1033
00:54:23,940 --> 00:54:27,900
we could rebrand, become
The Ed Martyn And Erin King Show,
1034
00:54:27,900 --> 00:54:29,860
aimed at the newly separated parent.
1035
00:54:29,860 --> 00:54:33,220
Looking at how you nurture as single
parents, seeing both points of view.
1036
00:54:33,220 --> 00:54:35,580
That's good.
I'll phone Pete, set up a meeting.
1037
00:54:35,580 --> 00:54:39,020
Great. Actually, it's very, very
good.
1038
00:54:39,020 --> 00:54:41,220
I think you may need this
a little bit longer.
1039
00:55:00,660 --> 00:55:02,980
I do hope you enjoyed your stay,
Mr Carrick.
1040
00:55:02,980 --> 00:55:05,140
It's been such a pleasure.
1041
00:55:07,140 --> 00:55:10,020
Um, aren't you forgetting something,
Mr Carrick?
1042
00:55:32,220 --> 00:55:34,780
'Running a hotel
is no walk in the park, believe me.
1043
00:55:34,780 --> 00:55:40,260
'It takes dedication, application and
above all, admitting your mistakes. '
1044
00:55:43,500 --> 00:55:45,660
I thought you were keen
to gain that certificate.
1045
00:55:45,660 --> 00:55:48,020
What's it gonna do except attract
a lot more picky people
1046
00:55:48,020 --> 00:55:49,740
in organic socks and edible shoes?
1047
00:55:49,740 --> 00:55:51,260
Oh, hear, hear!
1048
00:55:51,260 --> 00:55:53,220
OK, everyone,
let's get back to work.
1049
00:55:54,540 --> 00:55:55,980
Sorry.
1050
00:55:55,980 --> 00:55:58,620
I really think this could work,
don't you?
1051
00:55:58,620 --> 00:56:02,340
You need to get to meetings on time,
run new ideas past me first,
1052
00:56:02,340 --> 00:56:04,700
be open and straight
about any planned changes
1053
00:56:04,700 --> 00:56:06,660
and let me run my team.
1054
00:56:06,660 --> 00:56:08,940
Does that mean you're gonna stay?
For the time being.
1055
00:56:08,940 --> 00:56:10,180
Thank you.
1056
00:56:10,180 --> 00:56:12,580
There's a long way to go, Sam.
Don't thank me yet.
1057
00:56:15,620 --> 00:56:19,460
'When all's said and done, we need to
learn to ask for help if we need it. '
1058
00:56:21,340 --> 00:56:26,020
I just wanted to say if you need anyone
to be around for you and the baby...
1059
00:56:27,340 --> 00:56:30,940
.. someone to get things,
go to the shops,
1060
00:56:30,940 --> 00:56:33,580
buy nappies and stuff.
1061
00:56:33,580 --> 00:56:35,180
What, like a servant?
1062
00:56:35,180 --> 00:56:36,740
I suppose.
1063
00:56:36,740 --> 00:56:39,020
Yeah. Mmm.
1064
00:56:42,420 --> 00:56:43,900
Thank you.
1065
00:56:46,260 --> 00:56:47,740
Er, thank you...
1066
00:56:49,300 --> 00:56:52,340
.. for making me the dad.
1067
00:56:54,540 --> 00:56:56,020
Tea, milk, no sugar.
1068
00:56:56,020 --> 00:56:58,020
Yeah?
1069
00:57:02,660 --> 00:57:06,340
What you think? He the daddy?
1070
00:57:06,340 --> 00:57:10,900
I think I'd put you higher up my hit
list, and that's saying something.
1071
00:57:16,700 --> 00:57:18,380
Oh. You all right?
1072
00:57:18,380 --> 00:57:19,780
Yes. It's kicking.
1073
00:57:19,780 --> 00:57:21,740
Here.
1074
00:57:26,540 --> 00:57:30,380
So... are you ready to come clean yet?
1075
00:57:30,380 --> 00:57:31,660
What?
1076
00:57:31,660 --> 00:57:34,260
I mean, we all know
that Darren's not the dad.
1077
00:57:35,140 --> 00:57:38,220
And as I am the most trustworthy
and reliable person here,
1078
00:57:38,220 --> 00:57:40,180
and because you're dying
to tell somebody...
1079
00:57:41,540 --> 00:57:43,060
.. why don't you tell me?
1080
00:57:43,060 --> 00:57:46,940
'Because it's all very well
being strong and self-reliant,
1081
00:57:46,940 --> 00:57:49,220
'but some secrets
are impossible to keep. '
1082
00:57:49,220 --> 00:57:51,580
OK. OK.
1083
00:58:03,540 --> 00:58:05,060
Who is Harold Kelly?
1084
00:58:05,060 --> 00:58:06,740
Harold stole 12 cut emeralds
1085
00:58:06,740 --> 00:58:08,660
which he claims he hid
somewhere in the hotel.
1086
00:58:08,660 --> 00:58:11,300
It's a hoax. You really think
there's buried treasure here?
1087
00:58:11,300 --> 00:58:15,380
I don't like the look of you. You
remind me of Errol Flynn. Bastard!
1088
00:58:15,380 --> 00:58:17,420
You sure you'll be OK?
Got ages to go.... Oh!
1089
00:58:17,420 --> 00:58:19,980
My waters just broke! Two men have
been killed in the hotel.
1090
00:58:19,980 --> 00:58:21,420
SCREAMS
1091
00:58:21,420 --> 00:58:23,820
I've come home to die.
But there's so much to live for.
1092
00:58:23,820 --> 00:58:26,060
Where are you?
You ain't half picked a day for it.
1093
00:58:26,060 --> 00:58:29,260
Just need a bit of time just
to get my head round all of this.
1094
00:58:50,180 --> 00:58:53,220
Subtitles by Red Bee Media Ltd
1095
00:58:53,270 --> 00:58:57,820
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
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