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1
00:00:22,470 --> 00:00:25,630
One double room without bath
for the 16th, 17th and 18th.
2
00:00:25,630 --> 00:00:27,830
Yes, and if you'd be so good
as to confirm by letter?
3
00:00:27,830 --> 00:00:29,710
Thank you so much,
goodbye.
4
00:00:29,710 --> 00:00:31,590
Have you made up the bill
for room 12, Basil?
5
00:00:31,590 --> 00:00:32,630
No, I haven't
yet, no.
6
00:00:32,630 --> 00:00:33,870
Well, they're
in a hurry,
7
00:00:33,870 --> 00:00:36,550
Polly says they didn't
get their alarm call.
8
00:00:36,550 --> 00:00:37,950
And Basil, please get
that picture up,
9
00:00:37,950 --> 00:00:38,990
it's been there
for a week.
10
00:00:38,990 --> 00:00:40,630
It's been there
since Monday, Sybil.
11
00:00:40,630 --> 00:00:42,910
Tuesday, Wednesday,
Thursday,
12
00:00:42,910 --> 00:00:45,105
Good morning.
Friday, Sat...
13
00:00:50,190 --> 00:00:51,550
Manuel!
14
00:00:51,550 --> 00:00:55,190
There is too much butter
on those trays.
15
00:00:55,190 --> 00:00:56,190
Que?
16
00:00:56,190 --> 00:00:59,510
There is too much butter
on those trays.
17
00:00:59,510 --> 00:01:01,310
- No, no, no, Senor!
- What?
18
00:01:01,310 --> 00:01:03,870
Not "on those trays."
19
00:01:03,870 --> 00:01:07,910
No Sir, "Uno dos tres."
Uno, dos, tres.
20
00:01:07,910 --> 00:01:11,070
No, no.
Hay mucho burro alli!
21
00:01:11,070 --> 00:01:12,270
Que?
22
00:01:12,270 --> 00:01:14,230
Hay mucho
burro alli!
23
00:01:14,230 --> 00:01:15,950
Ah, mantequilla!
24
00:01:15,950 --> 00:01:16,990
What? Que?
25
00:01:16,990 --> 00:01:20,950
Mantequilla.
Burro is... is hee-haw.
26
00:01:20,950 --> 00:01:22,710
What?
27
00:01:22,710 --> 00:01:25,070
Burro... burro is
hee-haw, hee-haw.
28
00:01:25,070 --> 00:01:26,790
Manuel, por favor.
Uno momento.
29
00:01:26,790 --> 00:01:27,950
Si, si, si.
30
00:01:27,950 --> 00:01:28,950
What's the
matter, Basil?
31
00:01:28,950 --> 00:01:29,950
Nothing, dear,
I'm just dealing with it.
32
00:01:29,950 --> 00:01:32,070
He speak good...
how do you say...?
33
00:01:32,070 --> 00:01:33,070
English!
34
00:01:33,070 --> 00:01:36,510
Mantequilla,
solamente, dos.
35
00:01:36,510 --> 00:01:38,950
Dos?
36
00:01:38,950 --> 00:01:41,430
Well, don't look at me,
you're supposed to be able to speak it.
37
00:01:41,430 --> 00:01:42,830
Two pieces!
38
00:01:42,830 --> 00:01:47,630
Two each!
Arriba, arriba!
39
00:01:47,630 --> 00:01:49,950
I don't know why you
wanted to hire him, Basil.
40
00:01:49,950 --> 00:01:51,870
Because he's cheap
and keen to learn, dear.
41
00:01:51,870 --> 00:01:53,750
And in this day
and age such...
42
00:01:53,750 --> 00:01:55,510
But why did you say you
could speak the language?
43
00:01:55,510 --> 00:01:56,950
I learned
classical Spanish,
44
00:01:56,950 --> 00:01:59,950
not the strange dialect he
seems to have picked up.
45
00:01:59,950 --> 00:02:01,390
It'd be quicker to
train a monkey.
46
00:02:01,390 --> 00:02:03,630
Good morning, Miss Gatsby.
Morning, Miss Tibbs.
47
00:02:03,630 --> 00:02:05,507
Good morning,
good morning.
48
00:02:08,870 --> 00:02:10,870
- Basil!
- Yes, dear?
49
00:02:10,870 --> 00:02:11,950
Are you going to
hang the picture?
50
00:02:11,950 --> 00:02:13,790
- Yes I am, dear.
- When?
51
00:02:13,790 --> 00:02:15,110
When I've-
when I've...
52
00:02:15,110 --> 00:02:16,550
Well, why don't
you do it now?
53
00:02:16,550 --> 00:02:17,950
Well, I'm doing this, dear,
I'm doing the menu.
54
00:02:17,950 --> 00:02:19,190
You've got all morning
to do the menu.
55
00:02:19,190 --> 00:02:21,950
Why don't you hang
the picture now?
56
00:02:21,950 --> 00:02:23,950
- Well?
- Yes, all right,
57
00:02:23,950 --> 00:02:25,950
I don't think you realize
how long it takes to do the menu,
58
00:02:25,950 --> 00:02:27,190
it doesn't matter,
I'll hang the picture now.
59
00:02:27,190 --> 00:02:28,950
If the menus are late for lunch,
it doesn't matter,
60
00:02:28,950 --> 00:02:32,230
the guests can look at the picture
till they are ready, right?
61
00:02:32,230 --> 00:02:33,822
Lower.
62
00:02:34,830 --> 00:02:36,430
Lower.
63
00:02:36,430 --> 00:02:37,950
Up a bit.
64
00:02:37,950 --> 00:02:40,270
- There!
- Thank you, dear.
65
00:02:40,270 --> 00:02:42,190
I don't know where
I'd be without you.
66
00:02:42,190 --> 00:02:44,943
In the land of
the living, probably.
67
00:02:48,430 --> 00:02:49,590
Yes?
68
00:02:49,590 --> 00:02:51,950
Uh, could we have
our bill please?
69
00:02:51,950 --> 00:02:53,110
Well, can you
wait a minute?
70
00:02:53,110 --> 00:02:55,430
Right, I'm afraid we're
a bit late for our train,
71
00:02:55,430 --> 00:02:57,230
we didn't get
our alarm call.
72
00:02:57,230 --> 00:02:59,630
Right.
73
00:02:59,630 --> 00:03:00,950
I was up at 5:00,
you know,
74
00:03:00,950 --> 00:03:02,950
we do have
staff problems,
75
00:03:02,950 --> 00:03:04,550
I'm so sorry,
it's not all done by magic.
76
00:03:04,550 --> 00:03:05,950
Basil, are you
doing the menu?
77
00:03:05,950 --> 00:03:07,030
No, I'm not doing
the menu, dear.
78
00:03:07,030 --> 00:03:09,950
I am doing the bill for these
charming people who are in a hurry.
79
00:03:09,950 --> 00:03:11,910
I'm sorry to cause
all this trouble,
80
00:03:11,910 --> 00:03:14,190
but the reason we're late
is we didn't get our alarm call.
81
00:03:14,190 --> 00:03:15,790
Oh, dear, I am sorry.
82
00:03:15,790 --> 00:03:17,430
Basil, why didn't they
get their alarm call?
83
00:03:17,430 --> 00:03:18,590
Because I forgot.
84
00:03:18,590 --> 00:03:22,150
I am so sorry
I am not perfect!
85
00:03:22,150 --> 00:03:23,470
There you are,
there's the bill.
86
00:03:23,470 --> 00:03:24,470
Perhaps you'd
pay my wife,
87
00:03:24,470 --> 00:03:25,710
I have to put
the picture up...
88
00:03:25,710 --> 00:03:27,910
If there aren't any dustbins
to be cleaned out...
89
00:03:27,910 --> 00:03:29,946
Newspapers!
90
00:03:36,470 --> 00:03:38,586
Goodbye.
See you again!
91
00:03:41,630 --> 00:03:42,950
Don't forget
the picture, Basil.
92
00:03:42,950 --> 00:03:44,110
I won't, dear,
leave it to me.
93
00:03:44,110 --> 00:03:45,230
I'm going out now.
94
00:03:45,230 --> 00:03:47,950
I expect it to up
when I come back.
95
00:03:47,950 --> 00:03:50,230
Drive carefully, dear.
96
00:03:50,230 --> 00:03:52,390
Good morning, Major.
97
00:03:52,390 --> 00:03:53,510
Morning, Fawlty.
98
00:03:53,510 --> 00:03:55,110
I do apologize for the
tardiness of the arrival
99
00:03:55,110 --> 00:03:56,630
of your newspaper
this morning, Major.
100
00:03:56,630 --> 00:03:57,750
I will speak to them again,
101
00:03:57,750 --> 00:03:58,750
see if something
can be done.
102
00:03:58,750 --> 00:04:00,390
Ah, more strikes.
103
00:04:00,390 --> 00:04:02,070
Dustmen, post office...
104
00:04:02,070 --> 00:04:03,470
It makes you want to cry,
doesn't it?
105
00:04:03,470 --> 00:04:04,710
What's happened to
the old idea
106
00:04:04,710 --> 00:04:06,950
of doing something for your
fellow man, of service?
107
00:04:06,950 --> 00:04:08,950
- I mean, today...
- Mr. Fawlty?
108
00:04:08,950 --> 00:04:11,550
Yes, I'm coming!
Wait a moment!
109
00:04:11,550 --> 00:04:13,310
They treat you like dirt,
you know?
110
00:04:13,310 --> 00:04:14,710
Of course it's
pure ignorance,
111
00:04:14,710 --> 00:04:16,950
but with the class of
guests one gets nowadays...
112
00:04:16,950 --> 00:04:17,950
Ah! D'olivera
made a hundred!
113
00:04:17,950 --> 00:04:19,510
Did he?
Did he really?
114
00:04:19,510 --> 00:04:21,270
Good for him,
good old dolly.
115
00:04:21,270 --> 00:04:22,790
Well, well, well...
116
00:04:22,790 --> 00:04:23,950
Thank you, Polly.
117
00:04:23,950 --> 00:04:27,030
We're only staying
till Sunday!
118
00:04:27,030 --> 00:04:29,339
Right, thank you.
119
00:04:53,990 --> 00:04:55,230
Ah, I thought you were
going out, dear.
120
00:04:55,230 --> 00:04:57,630
What's this?
121
00:04:57,630 --> 00:04:59,910
I decided, Sybil,
to advertise.
122
00:04:59,910 --> 00:05:01,110
How much
did it cost?
123
00:05:01,110 --> 00:05:02,990
Oh, I haven't... 15?
124
00:05:02,990 --> 00:05:06,190
- Forty.
- Forty.
125
00:05:06,190 --> 00:05:08,310
I have told you
where we advertise.
126
00:05:08,310 --> 00:05:09,950
Sybil, I know
the hotel business.
127
00:05:09,950 --> 00:05:11,030
No you don't, Basil.
128
00:05:11,030 --> 00:05:12,830
Sybil, we've got to
try and attract
129
00:05:12,830 --> 00:05:14,150
a better class of person.
130
00:05:14,150 --> 00:05:15,150
Why?
131
00:05:15,150 --> 00:05:16,910
We're losing tone.
132
00:05:16,910 --> 00:05:17,910
We're making money.
133
00:05:17,910 --> 00:05:20,030
- Yes, yes.
- Just.
134
00:05:20,030 --> 00:05:21,870
Yes, but now we can
try and build up
135
00:05:21,870 --> 00:05:23,830
a higher class of clientele!
136
00:05:23,830 --> 00:05:25,710
Turn away some
of the riffraff.
137
00:05:25,710 --> 00:05:27,550
So long as they pay
their bills, Basil.
138
00:05:27,550 --> 00:05:29,950
Is that all that matters to you?
Money?
139
00:05:29,950 --> 00:05:32,110
This advertisement
is a waste of �-40.
140
00:05:32,110 --> 00:05:34,943
One moment!
One moment, please!
141
00:05:36,550 --> 00:05:38,230
- Well?
- Well?
142
00:05:38,230 --> 00:05:40,430
My dear woman, Sir Richard
and Lady Morris,
143
00:05:40,430 --> 00:05:41,830
arriving this evening.
For two nights.
144
00:05:41,830 --> 00:05:43,950
You see, they saw our
advertisement in country life.
145
00:05:43,950 --> 00:05:45,190
I wish they were
staying a week.
146
00:05:45,190 --> 00:05:46,990
- Well, so do I.
- Might pay for the ad then.
147
00:05:46,990 --> 00:05:48,510
Sybil, look!
148
00:05:48,510 --> 00:05:50,950
If we can attract
this class of customer,
149
00:05:50,950 --> 00:05:52,470
I mean, the sky's
the limit!
150
00:05:52,470 --> 00:05:54,910
Basil, 22 rooms
is the limit!
151
00:05:54,910 --> 00:05:57,310
I mean, have you seen
the people in room six?
152
00:05:57,310 --> 00:05:59,910
They've never even
sat on chairs before.
153
00:05:59,910 --> 00:06:03,107
They are the commonest,
vulgarest, most...
154
00:06:14,910 --> 00:06:16,950
Allo!
155
00:06:16,950 --> 00:06:18,463
Got a room?
156
00:06:20,270 --> 00:06:22,150
I beg your pardon?
157
00:06:22,150 --> 00:06:23,299
Got a room
for tonight, mate?
158
00:06:25,030 --> 00:06:26,150
I shall have
to see, sir...
159
00:06:26,150 --> 00:06:28,110
- A single?
- Yeah.
160
00:06:28,110 --> 00:06:30,146
No, make it a double,
I feel lucky today!
161
00:06:32,950 --> 00:06:34,861
- Hello.
- Good morning.
162
00:06:38,510 --> 00:06:39,670
Only joking.
163
00:06:39,670 --> 00:06:40,790
- No, we haven't.
- What?
164
00:06:40,790 --> 00:06:42,150
Haven't any rooms.
Good day.
165
00:06:42,150 --> 00:06:43,950
Number seven is
free, Basil.
166
00:06:43,950 --> 00:06:46,190
Mr. Tone is in
number seven, dear.
167
00:06:46,190 --> 00:06:48,790
No, he left while you were
putting the picture up, Basil.
168
00:06:48,790 --> 00:06:50,430
You have
luggage, Sir?
169
00:06:50,430 --> 00:06:51,430
Just one case.
170
00:06:51,430 --> 00:06:54,820
In the car...
The white sports.
171
00:06:55,950 --> 00:06:57,390
Fill this in,
would you, Sir?
172
00:06:57,390 --> 00:06:58,903
If you can.
173
00:07:01,950 --> 00:07:04,750
Hope you enjoy
your stay, Mr. Brown.
174
00:07:04,750 --> 00:07:06,790
Uh, Manuel,
would you fetch
175
00:07:06,790 --> 00:07:09,670
this gentleman's case
from the car outside?
176
00:07:09,670 --> 00:07:10,898
Take it to room seven?
177
00:07:12,510 --> 00:07:14,470
- Is not easy for me.
- What?
178
00:07:14,470 --> 00:07:16,230
Is not easy for me...
entender
179
00:07:16,230 --> 00:07:17,950
It's not easy for
you to understand.
180
00:07:17,950 --> 00:07:20,350
Manuel... we're
training him.
181
00:07:20,350 --> 00:07:21,499
He's from Barcelona.
182
00:07:23,150 --> 00:07:24,190
In Spain.
183
00:07:24,190 --> 00:07:26,390
Obtener la valisa...
184
00:07:26,390 --> 00:07:28,950
- Que?
- La valisa en el,
185
00:07:28,950 --> 00:07:32,710
er, auto
bianco sportiv.
186
00:07:32,710 --> 00:07:34,270
Y... a la sala...
187
00:07:34,270 --> 00:07:36,147
Siete... por favor.
188
00:07:38,790 --> 00:07:39,950
Pronto.
189
00:07:39,950 --> 00:07:40,950
Is impossible.
190
00:07:40,950 --> 00:07:42,310
- What?
- Is impossible.
191
00:07:42,310 --> 00:07:43,710
Look, it's
perfectly simple!
192
00:07:43,710 --> 00:07:47,270
Manuel - sirvase buscar mi
equipaje que esta en el
193
00:07:47,270 --> 00:07:50,950
automovil blanco y lo traer
a la sala numero siete.
194
00:07:50,950 --> 00:07:52,950
Senor
habla espanol!
195
00:07:52,950 --> 00:07:54,910
Solo un poco,
lo siento.
196
00:07:54,910 --> 00:07:56,950
Pero he
olvidado mucho.
197
00:07:56,950 --> 00:07:58,030
No, no,
habla muy bien.
198
00:07:58,030 --> 00:08:00,030
Muy muy bien.
Formidable!
199
00:08:00,030 --> 00:08:01,070
Gracias, gracias.
200
00:08:01,070 --> 00:08:02,185
Lo voy a
coger ahora.
201
00:08:07,110 --> 00:08:08,350
Well, if there's
anything else,
202
00:08:08,350 --> 00:08:09,990
I'm sure Manuel will
be able to tell you,
203
00:08:09,990 --> 00:08:11,946
as you seem to get on
so well together.
204
00:08:12,950 --> 00:08:13,939
Key?
205
00:08:36,990 --> 00:08:38,946
Hello, dear, just
doing the picture.
206
00:08:41,590 --> 00:08:42,659
Don't forget
the menu.
207
00:08:44,790 --> 00:08:45,990
I beg your pardon?
208
00:08:45,990 --> 00:08:47,670
Don't forget the menu.
209
00:08:47,670 --> 00:08:48,710
I thought you
said you wanted...
210
00:08:48,710 --> 00:08:49,699
Right!
I'll do the menu.
211
00:08:52,150 --> 00:08:53,950
You could have had
them both done by now
212
00:08:53,950 --> 00:08:54,990
if you hadn't spent
the whole morning
213
00:08:54,990 --> 00:08:57,030
skulking in there
listening to that racket.
214
00:08:57,030 --> 00:08:58,590
Racket?
215
00:08:58,590 --> 00:09:03,948
That's Brahms!
Brahms's Third racket!
216
00:09:07,870 --> 00:09:09,470
The whole morning?
217
00:09:09,470 --> 00:09:10,869
I had two bars.
218
00:09:12,390 --> 00:09:13,670
Ready to order?
219
00:09:13,670 --> 00:09:16,390
Uh, yeah.
What's a gralefrit?
220
00:09:16,390 --> 00:09:17,470
Grapefruit.
221
00:09:17,470 --> 00:09:21,350
And creme pot...
Pot rouge?
222
00:09:21,350 --> 00:09:22,750
Portugaise.
Tomato soup.
223
00:09:22,750 --> 00:09:23,950
I'll have the gralefrit.
224
00:09:23,950 --> 00:09:28,950
Now balm carousel... Lamb?
225
00:09:28,950 --> 00:09:29,950
Casserole.
226
00:09:29,950 --> 00:09:31,110
Sounds good.
Does it come with a smile?
227
00:09:31,110 --> 00:09:32,790
It comes with
sprouts or carrots.
228
00:09:32,790 --> 00:09:33,950
Oh, smile's extra, is it?
229
00:09:33,950 --> 00:09:35,622
You'll get one if you
eat up all your sprouts.
230
00:09:37,950 --> 00:09:38,939
Waiter!
231
00:09:46,710 --> 00:09:47,699
I beg your pardon?
232
00:09:48,870 --> 00:09:49,950
Oh, hello.
233
00:09:49,950 --> 00:09:51,190
Can I have
some wine, please?
234
00:09:51,190 --> 00:09:52,950
The waiter
is busy, Sir,
235
00:09:52,950 --> 00:09:55,150
but I will bring you
the carte des vins
236
00:09:55,150 --> 00:09:56,950
when I have finished
attending to this Gentleman.
237
00:09:56,950 --> 00:09:58,950
Oh, fine.
No hurry.
238
00:09:58,950 --> 00:10:00,950
Oh, good, how nice,
how very thoughtful.
239
00:10:00,950 --> 00:10:03,310
I trust the beer is to
your satisfaction, Sir?
240
00:10:03,310 --> 00:10:05,950
Yes, fine.
241
00:10:05,950 --> 00:10:08,350
Ah, good.
May I wish you bon apetit.
242
00:10:08,350 --> 00:10:09,339
Thank you.
243
00:10:10,230 --> 00:10:11,629
Manuel!
244
00:10:12,910 --> 00:10:13,910
Senor.
245
00:10:13,910 --> 00:10:14,950
Would you fetch
the wine list please?
246
00:10:14,950 --> 00:10:15,939
Si, Senor.
247
00:10:17,830 --> 00:10:19,670
- The wine list.
- Si?
248
00:10:19,670 --> 00:10:22,150
- The wine... vino.
- Senor.
249
00:10:22,150 --> 00:10:25,310
No, no. The list!
250
00:10:25,310 --> 00:10:28,150
There, there, the list!
251
00:10:28,150 --> 00:10:31,904
The list, there!
The red... there!
252
00:10:33,550 --> 00:10:34,585
There!
253
00:10:43,830 --> 00:10:45,390
Have you got a half
bottle of the beaujolais?
254
00:10:45,390 --> 00:10:46,670
Yes.
255
00:10:46,670 --> 00:10:48,310
Oh, fine.
256
00:10:48,310 --> 00:10:49,950
Right! Never mind!
Never mind!
257
00:10:49,950 --> 00:10:51,870
Manuel, another grapefruit
for table 12.
258
00:10:51,870 --> 00:10:52,950
Please... Manuel!
259
00:10:52,950 --> 00:10:55,544
I do beg your pardon.
I'm so sorry.
260
00:11:04,230 --> 00:11:05,750
- Throw it away.
- Que?
261
00:11:05,750 --> 00:11:07,110
Throw... it... away!
262
00:11:07,110 --> 00:11:08,310
Throw... it...
away?
263
00:11:08,310 --> 00:11:09,868
Throw it away!
264
00:11:10,950 --> 00:11:12,099
Now!
265
00:11:15,470 --> 00:11:16,949
Sorry!
266
00:11:18,710 --> 00:11:20,223
Sorry, sorry!
Sorry about that.
267
00:11:25,350 --> 00:11:26,470
Sorry about that.
268
00:11:26,470 --> 00:11:28,230
No, I like a bit
of cabaret.
269
00:11:28,230 --> 00:11:30,990
You left
your sketch.
270
00:11:30,990 --> 00:11:32,310
Oh! Sorry.
271
00:11:32,310 --> 00:11:33,510
It's very good.
Do you sell any?
272
00:11:33,510 --> 00:11:34,943
Enough to keep me
in waitressing.
273
00:11:36,590 --> 00:11:39,900
One half bottle
of beaujolais.
274
00:11:40,910 --> 00:11:41,950
Sybil!
275
00:11:41,950 --> 00:11:43,383
Someone at
reception, dear.
276
00:11:48,390 --> 00:11:49,106
Yes, yes,
well, yes?
277
00:11:50,110 --> 00:11:52,310
Well, I was wondering if
you could offer me
278
00:11:52,310 --> 00:11:53,470
accommodation for
a few nights?
279
00:11:53,470 --> 00:11:54,470
Well, have
you booked?
280
00:11:54,470 --> 00:11:55,510
- I'm sorry?
- Have you booked?
281
00:11:55,510 --> 00:11:58,070
- No.
- Oh, dear!
282
00:11:58,070 --> 00:11:59,110
Why, are you full?
283
00:11:59,110 --> 00:12:01,830
Oh, we're not full,
284
00:12:01,830 --> 00:12:05,190
we're not full.
Of course we're not full!
285
00:12:05,190 --> 00:12:07,624
- I'd like, ah...
- One moment, please.
286
00:12:09,470 --> 00:12:10,590
- Yes?
- A single room with a...
287
00:12:10,590 --> 00:12:12,590
Could I have your name?
288
00:12:12,590 --> 00:12:13,830
- Melbury.
- One second, please.
289
00:12:13,830 --> 00:12:15,470
Hello?
290
00:12:15,470 --> 00:12:17,470
Ah, yes, Mr. O'reilly,
well, it's perfectly simple.
291
00:12:17,470 --> 00:12:19,630
When I asked you
to build me a wall,
292
00:12:19,630 --> 00:12:22,590
I was hoping that instead of just dumping
the bricks in a pile,
293
00:12:22,590 --> 00:12:25,110
you might have found time
to cement them together,
294
00:12:25,110 --> 00:12:26,470
you know, one on top
of the other,
295
00:12:26,470 --> 00:12:28,230
in the traditional fashion.
296
00:12:28,230 --> 00:12:29,470
Could you fill it in, please?
297
00:12:29,470 --> 00:12:32,350
Oh, splendid!
298
00:12:32,350 --> 00:12:35,430
Ah, yes, but when,
Mr. O'reilly?
299
00:12:35,430 --> 00:12:38,110
There, there!
300
00:12:38,110 --> 00:12:40,470
Yes, yes, yes,
but when?
301
00:12:40,470 --> 00:12:43,667
Yes, yes, ah,
the flu, yes.
302
00:12:44,670 --> 00:12:46,190
Both names, please.
303
00:12:46,190 --> 00:12:48,350
Yes, I should have
guessed, Mr. O'reilly,
304
00:12:48,350 --> 00:12:49,990
that and the potato
famine I suppose.
305
00:12:49,990 --> 00:12:51,550
I beg your pardon?
306
00:12:51,550 --> 00:12:53,950
Would you put both
your names, please?
307
00:12:53,950 --> 00:12:55,270
Well, will you
give me a date?
308
00:12:55,270 --> 00:12:56,470
Yeah, I only use one.
309
00:12:56,470 --> 00:12:58,110
You don't have
a first name?
310
00:12:58,110 --> 00:13:00,704
No, I am Lord Melbury,
so I simply sign "Melbury."
311
00:13:05,310 --> 00:13:06,470
Go away.
312
00:13:06,470 --> 00:13:09,270
I'm so sorry to have kept
you waiting, your Lordship.
313
00:13:09,270 --> 00:13:11,710
I do apologize,
please forgive me.
314
00:13:11,710 --> 00:13:15,150
Is there something,
anything, I can do for you?
315
00:13:15,150 --> 00:13:16,150
Anything at all?
316
00:13:16,150 --> 00:13:17,630
Well, I have
filled this in...
317
00:13:17,630 --> 00:13:18,630
Oh, please don't
bother with that.
318
00:13:18,630 --> 00:13:21,470
- Now, a room?
- A special room, a single?
319
00:13:21,470 --> 00:13:22,470
A double?
A suite?
320
00:13:22,470 --> 00:13:23,510
Well, we don't
have any suites,
321
00:13:23,510 --> 00:13:24,510
but we do have some
beautiful doubles...
322
00:13:24,510 --> 00:13:25,670
No, no, just a single.
323
00:13:25,670 --> 00:13:27,350
Just a single.
Absolutely!
324
00:13:27,350 --> 00:13:29,150
How very wise if I may
say so, your honor.
325
00:13:29,150 --> 00:13:30,270
With a bath?
326
00:13:30,270 --> 00:13:33,899
Naturally, naturally!
Naturellement!
327
00:13:35,990 --> 00:13:38,870
I shall be staying for
one or two nights...
328
00:13:38,870 --> 00:13:40,462
Manuel!
329
00:13:45,470 --> 00:13:47,430
It's rather grey
today, isn't it?
330
00:13:47,430 --> 00:13:48,470
Oh, yes,
it is, rather.
331
00:13:48,470 --> 00:13:50,190
Of course usually down here
it's quite beautiful,
332
00:13:50,190 --> 00:13:53,102
but today is a real
old, uh, rotter.
333
00:13:55,110 --> 00:13:56,543
Manuel!
334
00:13:57,790 --> 00:13:59,190
Still, it's good
for the wheat.
335
00:13:59,190 --> 00:14:00,470
Yes, I suppose so.
336
00:14:00,470 --> 00:14:03,270
I hear it's coming along
wonderfully at the moment!
337
00:14:03,270 --> 00:14:04,910
Thank God!
I love the wheat.
338
00:14:04,910 --> 00:14:06,470
There's no sight like
339
00:14:06,470 --> 00:14:08,950
a field of wheat waving
in the... waving
340
00:14:08,950 --> 00:14:10,463
in... Manuel!
341
00:14:13,590 --> 00:14:15,310
Well, how are you?
342
00:14:15,310 --> 00:14:16,470
I mean if it's not
a personal question.
343
00:14:16,470 --> 00:14:17,470
Well, it is
a personal...
344
00:14:17,470 --> 00:14:18,790
Let me take your
cases for you.
345
00:14:18,790 --> 00:14:19,870
Oh, thank you
very much.
346
00:14:19,870 --> 00:14:21,030
- They're just outside.
- Splendid.
347
00:14:21,030 --> 00:14:22,065
Thank you so much.
I won't be one moment.
348
00:14:30,470 --> 00:14:33,910
Ah, Lord Melbury.
May I introduce my wife?
349
00:14:33,910 --> 00:14:35,350
Yes, we have met.
350
00:14:35,350 --> 00:14:36,830
My wife, may I
introduce his Lordship.
351
00:14:36,830 --> 00:14:38,470
Thank you, Basil,
we've sorted it out.
352
00:14:38,470 --> 00:14:40,470
Splendid, splendid.
353
00:14:40,470 --> 00:14:42,990
I wonder, could I deposit this
case with you?
354
00:14:42,990 --> 00:14:44,510
It's just a few valuables?
355
00:14:44,510 --> 00:14:45,590
Valuables, of course.
356
00:14:45,590 --> 00:14:46,990
Please let me take it now.
357
00:14:46,990 --> 00:14:48,230
I'll put it in the safe
straightaway.
358
00:14:48,230 --> 00:14:50,390
Sybil, would you put this
in the safe, please?
359
00:14:50,390 --> 00:14:51,750
I'm just off to
the kitchen, Basil.
360
00:14:51,750 --> 00:14:52,750
Yes, well, if
you're too busy...
361
00:14:52,750 --> 00:14:54,150
Nice to have met you,
Lord Melbury.
362
00:14:54,150 --> 00:14:55,870
- Hope you enjoy your stay.
- Thank you so much.
363
00:14:55,870 --> 00:14:57,670
I'll do it then,
then I'll do the picture...
364
00:14:57,670 --> 00:14:58,790
I'll put this away in
one moment, your Lord.
365
00:14:58,790 --> 00:15:02,910
Manuel, will you take
these cases to room 21.
366
00:15:02,910 --> 00:15:04,390
Que?
367
00:15:04,390 --> 00:15:08,270
Take...
to room... 21.
368
00:15:08,270 --> 00:15:09,830
No entender.
369
00:15:09,830 --> 00:15:13,470
Prenda las casos en...
Oh, doesn't matter.
370
00:15:13,470 --> 00:15:15,910
I'll do it.
Thank you manuel.
371
00:15:15,910 --> 00:15:18,910
- I take them.
- No, no, go away!
372
00:15:18,910 --> 00:15:20,470
Go and wait!
373
00:15:20,470 --> 00:15:21,630
- Wait?
- Wait.
374
00:15:21,630 --> 00:15:24,230
In there!
Go and wait In there!
375
00:15:24,230 --> 00:15:25,663
Go and be a
waiter in there!
376
00:15:30,190 --> 00:15:31,790
I do apologize,
your Lordship.
377
00:15:31,790 --> 00:15:33,143
I'm afraid he's only
just joined us.
378
00:15:34,390 --> 00:15:37,462
It'd be quicker to train
a monkey, ha ha ha!
379
00:15:47,670 --> 00:15:49,470
Do please follow me...
380
00:15:49,470 --> 00:15:51,870
I mean, if you're ready.
There's no hurry.
381
00:15:51,870 --> 00:15:53,349
Oh, yes, yes, fine.
382
00:15:59,390 --> 00:16:01,190
Excuse me, I'm sorry
to bother you.
383
00:16:01,190 --> 00:16:02,670
Would you mind
moving to that table?
384
00:16:02,670 --> 00:16:03,670
What?
385
00:16:03,670 --> 00:16:05,510
Could I askyou please,
to move to that table over there?
386
00:16:05,510 --> 00:16:06,510
But...
387
00:16:06,510 --> 00:16:07,510
I'm so sorry
to trouble you.
388
00:16:07,510 --> 00:16:09,190
- We're halfway through!
- Thank you so much.
389
00:16:09,190 --> 00:16:10,590
This is Lord Melbury's
table, you see?
390
00:16:10,590 --> 00:16:12,070
- What?
- Lord Melbury.
391
00:16:12,070 --> 00:16:14,310
When he stays with us,
he always sits at this table.
392
00:16:14,310 --> 00:16:15,310
Well, why did
they put us here?
393
00:16:15,310 --> 00:16:17,110
Uh, an oversight
on my wife's part.
394
00:16:17,110 --> 00:16:18,750
I'm so sorry.
He's only just arrived, you see.
395
00:16:18,750 --> 00:16:19,950
Would you mind?
Polly!
396
00:16:19,950 --> 00:16:21,670
Would you help these
people to that table?
397
00:16:21,670 --> 00:16:23,550
Thank you,
thank you so much.
398
00:16:23,550 --> 00:16:25,188
Come on!
Come on!
399
00:16:26,590 --> 00:16:27,579
Thank you.
400
00:16:35,470 --> 00:16:36,630
Ah, Lord Melbury!
401
00:16:36,630 --> 00:16:38,470
Do please come this way,
your Lordship,
402
00:16:38,470 --> 00:16:40,590
I have your table over
here by the window.
403
00:16:40,590 --> 00:16:43,950
As usual...
just here.
404
00:16:43,950 --> 00:16:46,384
- Thank you so much.
- Thank you very much.
405
00:16:49,670 --> 00:16:51,470
Oh, my God!
406
00:16:51,470 --> 00:16:52,590
I think he's
killed him!
407
00:16:52,590 --> 00:16:55,263
Get on with your meals!
Thank you so much.
408
00:17:05,390 --> 00:17:08,230
Lord Melbury, I really
must apologize again...
409
00:17:08,230 --> 00:17:10,110
Please, please,
think nothing of it.
410
00:17:10,110 --> 00:17:11,470
- But it was so...
- No, no, no.
411
00:17:11,470 --> 00:17:12,990
It was the
smallest of accidents.
412
00:17:12,990 --> 00:17:14,230
It could have
occurred anywhere.
413
00:17:14,230 --> 00:17:16,230
- Yes, but...
- I've forgotten all about it.
414
00:17:16,230 --> 00:17:18,950
That's most... You're really...
Ah, your Lordship,
415
00:17:18,950 --> 00:17:21,710
would you allow me
to offer you
416
00:17:21,710 --> 00:17:23,470
dinner here tonight,
as our guest?
417
00:17:23,470 --> 00:17:24,990
That's extremely
kind of you.
418
00:17:24,990 --> 00:17:26,790
Unfortunately, I have
an engagement tonight.
419
00:17:26,790 --> 00:17:28,270
- Oh.
- Oh, actually...
420
00:17:28,270 --> 00:17:30,350
- Yes?
- There is one thing.
421
00:17:30,350 --> 00:17:31,470
Good! Good!
422
00:17:31,470 --> 00:17:34,470
I was wondering...
can you cash me a small check?
423
00:17:34,470 --> 00:17:36,670
I'm playing golf
this afternoon...
424
00:17:36,670 --> 00:17:37,750
Oh, delighted!
425
00:17:37,750 --> 00:17:39,230
And I'd rather not
go into the town.
426
00:17:39,230 --> 00:17:41,470
Absolutely... I mean,
uh, how much?
427
00:17:41,470 --> 00:17:42,550
Uh, if it's not
a rude question?
428
00:17:42,550 --> 00:17:46,750
Could you manage
50... oh! 100?
429
00:17:46,750 --> 00:17:52,030
A hundred?
Oh, absolutely.
430
00:17:52,030 --> 00:17:54,630
Oh, yes, I mean,
will 100 be enough?
431
00:17:54,630 --> 00:17:56,310
I mean 150,
432
00:17:56,310 --> 00:17:57,510
two, 160?
433
00:17:57,510 --> 00:18:00,790
Let's see, that's uh,
dinner tonight, few tips...
434
00:18:00,790 --> 00:18:02,390
Oh, and it's the
weekend, isn't it?
435
00:18:02,390 --> 00:18:03,584
Would 200
be all right?
436
00:18:05,110 --> 00:18:09,470
Please! Yes! Oh, ha, ha!
Oh, tremendous!
437
00:18:09,470 --> 00:18:11,870
Oh, I'm so happy!
438
00:18:11,870 --> 00:18:13,750
I'll send someone to
the town straightaway
439
00:18:13,750 --> 00:18:15,950
and have it for you here
when you get back.
440
00:18:15,950 --> 00:18:17,310
Yes, well,
that would be splendid.
441
00:18:17,310 --> 00:18:18,630
Thank you, thank you,
your Lordship.
442
00:18:18,630 --> 00:18:19,630
Thank you so much.
443
00:18:19,630 --> 00:18:22,350
Oh, not at all,
my privilege.
444
00:18:22,350 --> 00:18:25,899
Breeding...
I mean... oh!
445
00:18:27,150 --> 00:18:29,110
Hello, dear.
446
00:18:29,110 --> 00:18:31,070
- What are you doing?
- I'm kissing you, dear.
447
00:18:31,070 --> 00:18:32,510
Well, don't.
448
00:18:32,510 --> 00:18:35,470
Just thought it might
be nice to...
449
00:18:35,470 --> 00:18:36,750
I heard
about lunch.
450
00:18:36,750 --> 00:18:39,190
What? Oh, that!
Think nothing of it.
451
00:18:39,190 --> 00:18:40,230
What?
452
00:18:40,230 --> 00:18:41,470
It was the smallest
of accidents.
453
00:18:41,470 --> 00:18:43,030
- Could have happened anywhere.
- Anywhere?
454
00:18:43,030 --> 00:18:45,070
First you move that nice family
in the middle of their meal,
455
00:18:45,070 --> 00:18:47,026
and then you attack
Lord Melbury with a chair!
456
00:18:48,470 --> 00:18:49,550
Look, Sybil,
457
00:18:49,550 --> 00:18:51,390
I've had a word with
Lord Melbury about it.
458
00:18:51,390 --> 00:18:52,710
He was quite
charming...
459
00:18:52,710 --> 00:18:54,550
Oh, it's delightful to have
people like that staying here.
460
00:18:54,550 --> 00:18:58,870
Sheer class, golf,
baths, engagements,
461
00:18:58,870 --> 00:19:00,986
a couple of
hundr... h... h... horses.
462
00:19:02,470 --> 00:19:04,430
Well, I've never seen
such tatty cases.
463
00:19:04,430 --> 00:19:05,470
Of course
you haven't.
464
00:19:05,470 --> 00:19:06,790
It's only the
true upper class
465
00:19:06,790 --> 00:19:08,310
that would have
tat like that.
466
00:19:08,310 --> 00:19:09,470
It's the whole point!
467
00:19:09,470 --> 00:19:11,470
Oh, you don't know what
I'm talking about.
468
00:19:11,470 --> 00:19:13,230
No, I don't.
But don't ever move guests
469
00:19:13,230 --> 00:19:14,310
in the middle
of a meal again.
470
00:19:14,310 --> 00:19:15,823
And get that
picture up.
471
00:19:17,670 --> 00:19:18,785
Sour old rat.
472
00:19:21,670 --> 00:19:22,750
Ah! Polly.
473
00:19:22,750 --> 00:19:24,430
Would you do
me a favor?
474
00:19:24,430 --> 00:19:26,750
When you're down in
the town this afternoon,
475
00:19:26,750 --> 00:19:28,342
would you
just pop...
476
00:19:29,470 --> 00:19:30,470
just between
ourselves,
477
00:19:30,470 --> 00:19:31,470
don't mention this
to my wife,
478
00:19:31,470 --> 00:19:33,267
pop into the bank
and just...
479
00:20:41,150 --> 00:20:42,708
Could somebody
answer that, please?
480
00:20:46,190 --> 00:20:48,270
Hello!
481
00:20:48,270 --> 00:20:50,550
Is there nobody
who can answer that?
482
00:20:50,550 --> 00:20:51,539
There must
be someone.
483
00:20:53,470 --> 00:20:54,539
Not you.
484
00:20:56,470 --> 00:20:57,710
I'll never get it up.
485
00:20:57,710 --> 00:20:59,150
I'll cancel my holiday,
do it then.
486
00:20:59,150 --> 00:21:02,062
Hello, Fawlty Towers?
487
00:21:03,070 --> 00:21:04,310
Hello, Fawlty Towers.
488
00:21:04,310 --> 00:21:06,030
Oh, hello, Brenda.
489
00:21:06,030 --> 00:21:08,470
Basil, it's 6:00.
490
00:21:08,470 --> 00:21:10,670
Ah, Polly...
did you cash it?
491
00:21:10,670 --> 00:21:12,550
- Yes, Mr. Fawlty?
- Good, good.
492
00:21:12,550 --> 00:21:13,710
- Could I have a word with you?
- What?
493
00:21:13,710 --> 00:21:15,910
- Could I speak to you for just a minute?
- Not now, polly!
494
00:21:15,910 --> 00:21:17,310
- It's very important.
- Later! Later!
495
00:21:17,310 --> 00:21:18,670
- Basil!
- I'm just going, dear.
496
00:21:18,670 --> 00:21:20,342
Thank you, thank you
so much, Polly.
497
00:21:26,870 --> 00:21:28,030
Ah, good evening, Major.
498
00:21:28,030 --> 00:21:29,030
Evening, Fawlty.
499
00:21:29,030 --> 00:21:30,550
The usual?
500
00:21:30,550 --> 00:21:34,390
Oh, why not?
Indeed, yes.
501
00:21:34,390 --> 00:21:36,510
Why not?
I've just been watching
502
00:21:36,510 --> 00:21:38,990
one of those nature
films on television.
503
00:21:38,990 --> 00:21:39,990
Oh, yes?
504
00:21:39,990 --> 00:21:41,910
Did you know
the female gibbon
505
00:21:41,910 --> 00:21:44,270
gestates for
seven months?
506
00:21:44,270 --> 00:21:45,830
Seven months?
507
00:21:45,830 --> 00:21:48,030
Well I never...
Here you are, Major.
508
00:21:48,030 --> 00:21:50,470
Seven... my word.
509
00:21:50,470 --> 00:21:52,350
Ah, Good Evening,
Mr. Wareing.
510
00:21:52,350 --> 00:21:55,710
A gin and orange, a lemon squash
and a scotch and water, please.
511
00:21:55,710 --> 00:21:57,510
Certainly.
512
00:21:57,510 --> 00:21:59,990
Is there any part
of the room
513
00:21:59,990 --> 00:22:01,470
you'd like us to
keep away from?
514
00:22:01,470 --> 00:22:02,459
What?
515
00:22:04,110 --> 00:22:05,179
We'll be over there, then.
516
00:22:07,470 --> 00:22:08,710
Seven!
Well, well...
517
00:22:08,710 --> 00:22:09,710
Evening, Fawlty.
518
00:22:09,710 --> 00:22:11,070
Ah, Good Evening,
Lord Melbury.
519
00:22:11,070 --> 00:22:13,230
- Anywhere?
- Yes, anywhere, anywhere.
520
00:22:13,230 --> 00:22:16,870
Lord Melbury, may I offer you
a little apertif as our guest?
521
00:22:16,870 --> 00:22:19,470
That's very kind of you.
Dry sherry, if you please.
522
00:22:19,470 --> 00:22:20,949
What else?
523
00:22:22,590 --> 00:22:25,310
Such...
Oh, I don't know what.
524
00:22:25,310 --> 00:22:26,470
Je ne sais quoi?
525
00:22:26,470 --> 00:22:28,870
Exactly! Exactly!
526
00:22:28,870 --> 00:22:30,110
Ah, there you are, Sybil.
527
00:22:30,110 --> 00:22:31,430
Good evening, Major.
528
00:22:31,430 --> 00:22:33,430
Evening,
Mrs. Fawlty.
529
00:22:33,430 --> 00:22:35,590
- There you are, your Lordship.
- Ah, thank you very much.
530
00:22:35,590 --> 00:22:36,870
I see my little
collection of
531
00:22:36,870 --> 00:22:38,310
coins tickles
your interest.
532
00:22:38,310 --> 00:22:40,590
What?
Oh, yes, yes.
533
00:22:40,590 --> 00:22:42,590
All British Empire
of course.
534
00:22:42,590 --> 00:22:44,470
Used to be quite
a hobby of mine.
535
00:22:44,470 --> 00:22:45,630
Little investment too.
536
00:22:45,630 --> 00:22:47,430
Quite.
Talking about, um,
537
00:22:47,430 --> 00:22:49,466
- did you manage to...
- Oh yes.
538
00:22:51,470 --> 00:22:53,347
- There you are, your Lordship.
- Oh, Thank you, yes.
539
00:23:02,990 --> 00:23:04,470
Yes, you know,
these sorts of things,
540
00:23:04,470 --> 00:23:07,590
their value's soared this
last couple of years.
541
00:23:07,590 --> 00:23:08,630
Have they really?
542
00:23:08,630 --> 00:23:09,750
Oh, yes.
You take my advice.
543
00:23:09,750 --> 00:23:11,030
Get them revalued,
544
00:23:11,030 --> 00:23:12,470
and insure them for
the full amount.
545
00:23:12,470 --> 00:23:14,062
Yes, yes, I will.
546
00:23:15,070 --> 00:23:17,110
You can't take any risks
nowadays, I'm afraid.
547
00:23:17,110 --> 00:23:18,470
- No, no, quite.
- Well, I must be off.
548
00:23:18,470 --> 00:23:19,830
Thank you very much,
your Lordship.
549
00:23:19,830 --> 00:23:21,230
Basil!
550
00:23:21,230 --> 00:23:22,790
Yes, yes, I was just talking
to Lord Melbury, dear.
551
00:23:22,790 --> 00:23:26,470
A gin and orange, a lemon squash
and a scotch and water, please!
552
00:23:26,470 --> 00:23:27,990
I do apologize, I was just
talking to Lord...
553
00:23:27,990 --> 00:23:29,670
Fawlty!
554
00:23:29,670 --> 00:23:31,590
I was thinking...
555
00:23:31,590 --> 00:23:34,470
You see, I am having
dinner tonight
556
00:23:34,470 --> 00:23:37,350
with the duke of Buckleigh,
do you know him?
557
00:23:37,350 --> 00:23:39,470
Not personally, no.
558
00:23:39,470 --> 00:23:41,950
He's a great expert,
559
00:23:41,950 --> 00:23:43,110
you know, Sotheby's
and all that.
560
00:23:43,110 --> 00:23:44,110
Is he?
561
00:23:44,110 --> 00:23:46,470
Now if you like,
I could take them with me,
562
00:23:46,470 --> 00:23:48,070
ask him to have
a quick look at them,
563
00:23:48,070 --> 00:23:49,670
and find their
current value.
564
00:23:49,670 --> 00:23:51,990
- Would you really?
- Yes, yes, certainly.
565
00:23:51,990 --> 00:23:53,750
Well, I'll be off
in a few moments.
566
00:23:53,750 --> 00:23:54,910
- Well, that's really so...
- Basil!
567
00:23:54,910 --> 00:23:57,470
I'm talking to Lord Melbury!
568
00:23:57,470 --> 00:24:01,950
A gin and orange, a lemon squash
and a scotch and water, please!
569
00:24:01,950 --> 00:24:03,463
All right!
All right!
570
00:24:08,110 --> 00:24:09,150
Oh, Mr. Fawlty...
571
00:24:09,150 --> 00:24:10,350
Was that Lord Melbury?
Has he gone?
572
00:24:10,350 --> 00:24:11,750
I rang, Mr. Fawlty,
I must speak with you.
573
00:24:11,750 --> 00:24:14,470
- Can't you see I'm busy?
- It's very important.
574
00:24:14,470 --> 00:24:15,470
- Can we talk in there?
- I can't.
575
00:24:15,470 --> 00:24:17,230
- Basil!
- It's very important!
576
00:24:17,230 --> 00:24:20,870
I'm dealing with something
important out here, Sybil.
577
00:24:20,870 --> 00:24:25,230
Yes? Yes, right, well,
yes, yes, what is it?
578
00:24:25,230 --> 00:24:26,230
- It's about Lord Melbury.
- Yes?
579
00:24:26,230 --> 00:24:27,750
He's not
Lord Melbury,
580
00:24:27,750 --> 00:24:29,310
he's a confidence
trickster.
581
00:24:29,310 --> 00:24:30,790
I beg your pardon?
582
00:24:30,790 --> 00:24:31,870
Mr. Brown told me.
583
00:24:31,870 --> 00:24:33,070
Oh!
584
00:24:33,070 --> 00:24:34,470
Mr. Brown's
from the C.I.D.
585
00:24:34,470 --> 00:24:36,030
They've been
watching Melbury
586
00:24:36,030 --> 00:24:37,790
because he's pulling some
big con trick in the town.
587
00:24:37,790 --> 00:24:39,550
They're going to arrest
him when he leaves here,
588
00:24:39,550 --> 00:24:40,950
so as not to cause
you embarrassment.
589
00:24:40,950 --> 00:24:42,150
But he asked me
to tell you...
590
00:24:42,150 --> 00:24:43,470
Oh, how nice of him!
591
00:24:43,470 --> 00:24:44,670
Please, Mr. Fawlty...
592
00:24:44,670 --> 00:24:45,990
Oh, I don't know
what other tales
593
00:24:45,990 --> 00:24:47,870
Mr. Brown of M.I.5 has been
impressing you with.
594
00:24:47,870 --> 00:24:49,990
- He's a con man!
- Oh, yes, of course,
595
00:24:49,990 --> 00:24:50,990
it stands out
a mile, doesn't it?
596
00:24:50,990 --> 00:24:52,470
He's so common.
597
00:24:52,470 --> 00:24:55,587
Unlike that cockney git
whose ulterior motive
598
00:24:57,470 --> 00:25:00,350
poor, innocent,
misguided child that you are.
599
00:25:00,350 --> 00:25:01,390
Basil, what's
going on?
600
00:25:01,390 --> 00:25:02,830
Nothing, my dear,
nothing at all.
601
00:25:02,830 --> 00:25:04,590
- Mrs. Fawlty...
- Yes, Polly?
602
00:25:04,590 --> 00:25:06,470
- I don't know what she's...
- Basil!
603
00:25:06,470 --> 00:25:08,190
Mr. Brown is
from the C.I.D.
604
00:25:08,190 --> 00:25:10,350
He showed me
identification.
605
00:25:10,350 --> 00:25:12,630
They're watching Melbury.
He's a confidence trickster.
606
00:25:12,630 --> 00:25:13,910
I see.
607
00:25:13,910 --> 00:25:15,470
What do you mean,
you see?
608
00:25:15,470 --> 00:25:17,030
Let's have a look
at these valuables.
609
00:25:17,030 --> 00:25:18,030
What are you
doing, Sybil?
610
00:25:18,030 --> 00:25:19,310
Sybil, I forbid you
to open that safe!
611
00:25:19,310 --> 00:25:21,590
Sybil, I forbid you
to take that case out!
612
00:25:21,590 --> 00:25:25,790
Sybil, do not open
that case, I forbid it!
613
00:25:25,790 --> 00:25:27,350
I never thought I would
live to see the day
614
00:25:27,350 --> 00:25:30,030
when a peer
of the realm,
615
00:25:30,030 --> 00:25:32,310
entrusts to us,
a case of valuables...
616
00:25:32,310 --> 00:25:33,459
In trust...
617
00:25:58,470 --> 00:25:59,510
I'll call the police.
618
00:25:59,510 --> 00:26:01,387
They're already here,
Mr. Brown's outside.
619
00:26:03,430 --> 00:26:04,863
Someone at
reception, Basil?
620
00:26:15,470 --> 00:26:18,470
Ah! All right.
621
00:26:18,470 --> 00:26:22,230
Ah... Good evening.
622
00:26:22,230 --> 00:26:23,470
I believe you
were expecting us.
623
00:26:23,470 --> 00:26:24,630
No, I was expecting
somebody else.
624
00:26:24,630 --> 00:26:26,470
Sir Richard
and Lady Morris.
625
00:26:26,470 --> 00:26:27,590
Yes, yes, them as well.
626
00:26:27,590 --> 00:26:28,590
I'm sorry?
627
00:26:28,590 --> 00:26:29,950
- How did you know?
- What?
628
00:26:29,950 --> 00:26:31,590
Oh... You're Sir Richard
and Lady Morris,
629
00:26:31,590 --> 00:26:32,870
I do beg
your pardon.
630
00:26:32,870 --> 00:26:34,428
I was just think...
631
00:26:38,390 --> 00:26:40,830
Would you mind filling
this out, please?
632
00:26:40,830 --> 00:26:43,310
We've given you room...
aha!
633
00:26:43,310 --> 00:26:44,470
Ah, Fawlty!
634
00:26:44,470 --> 00:26:47,470
Mr. Fawlty to you,
Lord Melbury.
635
00:26:47,470 --> 00:26:48,510
I beg your pardon?
636
00:26:48,510 --> 00:26:50,310
Oh, nothing,
please forget all about it.
637
00:26:50,310 --> 00:26:53,310
Here's the check
for �-200.
638
00:26:53,310 --> 00:26:54,379
Ah, thank you
so much.
639
00:26:56,590 --> 00:26:59,310
Now, about my priceless
collection of coins?
640
00:26:59,310 --> 00:27:00,310
Oh, yes, ah,
do you still...
641
00:27:00,310 --> 00:27:01,430
Do I still want
you to take them
642
00:27:01,430 --> 00:27:03,150
to be valued by the Duke
of Buckleigh, my Lord?
643
00:27:03,150 --> 00:27:04,150
- Ah, yes.
- No, I don't.
644
00:27:04,150 --> 00:27:05,230
Because we've
just heard
645
00:27:05,230 --> 00:27:07,110
that the duke
of Buckleigh is dead!
646
00:27:07,110 --> 00:27:09,750
Yes, got his head knocked off
by a golf ball.
647
00:27:09,750 --> 00:27:11,470
Tragic! Tragic!
648
00:27:11,470 --> 00:27:13,630
Well, how are you,
Lord Melbury?
649
00:27:13,630 --> 00:27:16,470
'Ow are yer then?
All right, mate?
650
00:27:16,470 --> 00:27:18,461
'Ow's me
old mucker?
651
00:27:20,150 --> 00:27:21,550
Any valuables to deposit,
Sir Richard?
652
00:27:21,550 --> 00:27:22,539
Any bricks?
653
00:27:24,470 --> 00:27:27,030
I do apologize...
You bastard!
654
00:27:28,470 --> 00:27:29,950
We've given
you room 12
655
00:27:29,950 --> 00:27:31,190
with the view
overlooking the park...
656
00:27:31,190 --> 00:27:32,190
I'm sure you'll
like it...
657
00:27:32,190 --> 00:27:33,230
We'll have your
bags brought up...
658
00:27:33,230 --> 00:27:34,830
And may I
introduce your wife?
659
00:27:34,830 --> 00:27:36,468
Hello, Lord Melbury!
660
00:27:38,230 --> 00:27:41,790
- Bastard!
- Basil!
661
00:27:41,790 --> 00:27:43,223
Please think
nothing of it.
662
00:27:49,470 --> 00:27:51,381
Do please excuse me
one moment.
663
00:28:00,310 --> 00:28:01,459
Basil, the morrises
are leaving.
664
00:28:06,950 --> 00:28:10,630
Where are you going?
Where are you going?
665
00:28:10,630 --> 00:28:11,870
We're leaving!
666
00:28:11,870 --> 00:28:13,750
Oh, don't, please stay,
you'll like it here.
667
00:28:13,750 --> 00:28:15,468
I've never been in such
a place in my life.
668
00:28:22,790 --> 00:28:24,428
You snobs!
669
00:28:25,470 --> 00:28:29,710
You stupid, stuck-up,
toffee-nosed, half-witted...
670
00:28:29,710 --> 00:28:34,909
upper-class
piles of... pus!
671
00:28:42,110 --> 00:28:44,305
- Sorry, Mr. Fawlty.
- Just one, please.
672
00:28:53,550 --> 00:28:55,268
Sorry, Mr. Fawlty.
673
00:29:03,470 --> 00:29:05,540
Well, I'd better put
the picture up.
674
00:29:08,470 --> 00:29:10,301
Oh, thank You, Polly,
for the...
675
00:29:14,190 --> 00:29:16,350
- Well done, Manuel.
- Que?
676
00:29:16,350 --> 00:29:17,703
Oh... Ole.
677
00:29:19,350 --> 00:29:20,470
Sorry about that,
Mr. Fawlty.
678
00:29:20,470 --> 00:29:21,750
Can I buy you
a drink?
679
00:29:21,750 --> 00:29:23,750
No, no, I'd better put
this up, I suppose.
680
00:29:23,750 --> 00:29:24,739
Basil!
681
00:29:26,310 --> 00:29:28,221
A gin and orange,
682
00:29:29,390 --> 00:29:33,550
a lemon squash and a
scotch and water, please!
683
00:29:33,550 --> 00:29:34,539
Right!
684
00:29:35,790 --> 00:29:37,223
Come on.
47650
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