All language subtitles for Bvvc

Sync and corrections by n17t01
www.addic7ed.com

♪ think of all the luck
you got ♪

♪ know that it's not
for naught ♪

♪ you were beaming once before ♪

♪ but it's not like that
anymore ♪

♪ what is this downside ♪

♪ that you speak of? ♪

♪ what is this feeling ♪

♪ you're so sure of? ♪

♪ ♪

♪ round up the friends you got ♪

♪ know that they're not
for naught ♪

♪ you were willing once before ♪

♪ but it's not like that
anymore ♪

♪ what is this downside ♪

♪ that you speak of? ♪

♪ what is this feeling ♪

♪ you're so... ♪

♪ sure of? ♪

(Moaning)

I had the biggest crush on you
in high school, Craig.

My God, you're beautiful.

I love you.

Dead people poop themselves.

(Panting)

Debbie:
Dead people poop themselves.

What?

(Gasps)

Dead people poop themselves.

(Groans) Debs!

Harry pooped himself
after he died.

(Sputters) Harry?

Aunt ginger's boyfriend.
Mm.

I'm going back to sleep.

He was my first dead person.

Mm. Finishing
my nice dream now.

There are 200 euphemisms
for death.

Kicked the bucket,

met his maker, ate dirt.

(Phone buzzes) Six Feet
Under, Pushing Daisies.

Can't a brother get some sleep
around here?

Bit the dust,
bought a pine condo.

Went off the twig.

Basted the formaldehyde turkey.

Mm, winning one for the reaper.

Living impaired.

Past his sell-by date.

(Phone chirps)

Just add maggots.

Mm...
(Phone chirps)

Retroactive abortion.

Hurst: Lip? Yo!

Hey.

Colonel McNally's gonna
meet us on the lower level.

Hey, that weed you gave
me worked like a charm.

Yeah, you used it on your
poetry-loving grad student?

Rachel. Very hot.

She loved the playlist
that you made for me.

She was so impressed with
my collection of urban music

that she let me go down on her.

Wow.
The alphabet... That's the key.

Drives them wild.

If you're really good, you'll
never get to the letter Z.

My record is M.
There he is.

Gentlemen.

Lip, this is
Colonel Kirk McNally.

This is Phillip Gallagher,
who I was telling you about.

He's very interested
in talking to you. Oh.

He is one of
the brightest kids I know.

Vowels.

Anywhere to get an
espresso around here?

Uh, take you to the cafeteria.

So, what are you
working on this summer?

I'm working on this device

that reads credit card numbers
off of parking kiosks.

Using a magnetic stripe reader?
Oh, no.

Card numbers aren't actually
held on the cards anymore.

It's all done over wi-fi now.

Why aren't you
working on my project?

I gave hurst a big grant.

Yeah, I'm still
in high school, so...

What? What are
we doing here?

Why am I wasting my time?

I was hoping you could tell me
a little bit about West Point.

Oh.

Like, uh, what's a kid got
to do to get in?

Suck my dick.

(Laughs) I'll tell you what.

If you're as smart
as hurst says you are,

work on my project.

I'll tell you all
about west point.

Don't use wooden clips

on my bras.
They'll snag.

Use plastic ones.

Okay, sure.

You worked for the city, right?
Cdot was it?

Is this us getting
to know each other?

Yeah, I painted curbs.

(Chuckles) Someone does that?

You think they
paint themselves?

Thought there was
a machine or something.

A machine called
Dorothy Coronis.

For 23 years.
You're welcome.

23 years?
That's a nice pension.

Too bad I won't live
long enough to collect.

You been dating anyone

since Charlie stroked out
on the toilet?

There's been a few.

Give or take a couple
of dozen. (Laughs)

Anyone special?
(Laughs)

What do I want
someone special for?

To be under foot all the time?

No, thanks.

I have Rochelle, Evelyn,

Kermit, my cat snowshoes.

Kermit?
Yeah, from down at the bar.

He's been coming around here?

We're friends.

I don't trust him.

His features
are too close together.

He's been doing
some electrical work for me.

Yeah, electrical work, my ass.

Veronica:
Fi, you home?

Upstairs.

My mom needs help down
at her salon tomorrow. You in?

Sure.

Wow. Middle-of-the-day makeup.

What's the occasion?

Craig Heisner texted me back.
Who?

That guy
from my high school diary.

Asked if I wanted to have coffee.
Coffee coffee, or banging coffee?

He's married. I don't need
somebody else's backwash.

So you won't be getting up
on my Kevin anytime soon?

Ew. He's like my brother.

Plus, it'd be like
making out with you.

Bitch, you know you want to.

So, why you meeting
with Craig Heisner then?

Connect with an old friend.

I'm curious to see how he looks.

Bet he thinks
you're gonna hook up.

Hmm... he can think
whatever he wants.

Doesn't mean it's gonna happen.

Why else would
a married man be meeting up

with his old flame?
We were never old flames.

He barely noticed me
in high school.

Oh, so you're going there
to make him jealous?

Here's what you could
have had, Craig Heisner.

Oh-doh, ooh-doh...

Does everything have to
be an ass shake with you?

Sometimes it's a boob shake.

Okay, how do I look?

Like me.

Oh, shit.

Hey, you filthy
fuckin' "portagese"!

I know you fucked my sister.

I'm gonna come down there,

and I'm gonna kick your ass.

Stan, what are you doing?

Get in here. You're
gonna get shot.

Yeah.
Put some pants on.

I got pants on. Really?
Then those are the ugliest

pair of flesh pants
I've ever seen. Oh.

Oh, Dinty Moore again?

Oh, come on.
You love this stuff.

Yeah, but don't give me the one
with the low sodium.

It tastes like dog shit.

What, and the one
with full sodium doesn't?

No, actually, it's delicious.

So, I could pick up a pile
of dog shit and you'd eat it?

Well, if it had enough salt on it.
(Laughs)

I'll keep that
in mind. Here.

What the hell is that?

The receipts from
the bar last night.

Bar? What bar?

The alibi room.

Downstairs.
You own it.

Oh, I know that.

Just give me the goddamn money.

♪ Words take shape
like guns and planes... ♪

Here we go.

Thanks.

(Both laugh)

So,

Fiona Gallagher.

Craig Heisner.
You look good.

You, too.

So, what have you been
up to since graduation?

I never graduated.

My mom split my junior year,
so, I had to quit school,

take care of the family.

Oh, that sucks.
It is what it is.

What'd you do after graduation?

Went into business with my dad.
Concrete.

That's good.

(Laughing):
Yeah.

I was surprised
to hear from you on Facebook.

I didn't think
you'd remember me.

How could I not? You had the
best ass in the sophomore class.

(Laughs) I can still picture
you in those sexy shorts

running track during
our football practices.

Did you know
I had a crush on you?

Back then or now? (Laughs)

I might have had an inkling.

♪ Who is right?
Who is wrong? ♪

♪ who is weak?
Who is stronger now? ♪

So, how come
you never jumped me?

Oh, I was afraid
you might reject me.

No, no, no.
You never jumped me, either.

You were a senior,
I was a sophomore.

And for the record, you know,

I wouldn't have rejected you.
Oh, now you tell me.

Besides, you were always
with that bitchy cheerleader.

What was her name?
Lucy Joe?

(Laughs) Yeah.

You mean my wife?

Oh, shit. Sorry.

It's cool.

You guys still together?

We had a few breakups,
but for the most part,

we've been together
since we were 15.

What about you?

We haven't been together
since we were 15.

There's nothing we can do
about that now, can we?

Nah. You had
to go mess everything up

by getting married.

We would have been
good together, too.

Probably, yeah,
would've been great.

I guess we'll never
find out now.

Guess not.

(Groaning)

Dude, stop. It's the best
way to get six-pack abs.

Saw it on a YouTube video.
Hey, fuckwad?

Dickhead.

What are you doing?
Helping Ian train.

Yo, I was at the lab talking to
this army guy from the Pentagon.

He's a colonel or something.
Oh, yeah?

Yeah. Thought he
could tell us

a little bit more
about west point.

He was a student there.

They're called cadets.

Debbie:
* I will burn for you *

♪ feel pain for you ♪

♪ I will twist the knife ♪

♪ and bleed my aching heart. ♪

What's up with debs?

Obsessed with death.

Anyway, thought this guy
might be a good lead.

I don't know.

Took that practice
trig test today, only got a 73.

Five points higher
than last time.

I cheated.

Why do you want to go
in the army anyway?

You're just gonna get shot
through the butthole in battle.

Hey, twat bag, the only reason
you're not in summer school

is 'cause they
wouldn't have you.

I hate when they bunt.
It's a pussy move.

You're such a girl.

Don't make me pull out my penis,
prove you wrong.

(Tommy laughs)

Stan's losing his marbles.

What happened?
You're right.

He shouldn't be left
alone up there.

Call his daughter.

What if she wants
to put him in a home?

Well, might be
the best thing for him.

He wants to stay
in his apartment.

So did my mother, even after

she started shitting
in the kitchen drawers.

Hey, what about you and me...
We chip in, we buy the bar?

What?

It'll give him enough money
for round-the-clock care.

Not interested.

When he goes, someone's
gonna buy this place.

What if they turned it
into a Friday's or something?

I look good in red
and white stripes.

We buy the bar from Stan,

he gets to stay in his
apartment, and we keep our jobs.

No.
Why not?

Because I like making
my hundred bucks a night,

skimming a few dollars
off the top, then, going home

and not thinking about
this place until I come back.

Fine, I'll buy it myself.
You can't even total out

the register.

That's because it's your job.

Where are you gonna get
the money?

I'll take out a loan.

Hmm. Good luck with that.

Kermit!

My buddy!
What's the haps?

I'm not sure what that
means, Frank, but...

Life's good.
Glad to hear it.

Where you been, Frank?
Haven't seen you in a while.

Working. Lunch break.
Give me three shots.

Throw in a pickled egg,
too, will you?

You still with that girlfriend

of yours?

Estelle, isn't it?
Cynthia.

Cynthia. That's it.

She's a keeper.
Hang on to her.

I plan to.
Yah.

Don't want to cheat on her,

mess up a good thing, Kermit.

Okay.

Kermit.

Interesting name.

Like the frog, right?

It's a family name.

Gaelic... Means
"without envy."

Way before the frog.

Someone was just
mentioning you to me.

Who was that?

Oh, that-that's right.

Um, Dottie Coronis.

Nice girl.

We've known each other
since confirmation.

Said something about you
doing some electrical work.

Yeah, I been doing a few things

around her place.
Probably

paint her house
later this week.

Whew!
That's a big job.

Yep. Anything else going on?

What do you mean?

You know.

Frank...

She's dying.

I-I'm helping her out.

That's what friends do

for each other.
Friends that want something?

What are you talking about?

Let's get one thing
straight, Kermit.

I'm on to you.

So you stay away from

butterface if you know
what's good for you.

What the hell's wrong with him?

Got a couple hours?

(Ringtone plays)

Hello?

Hey, you remember me?

We just had coffee together.

Short black guy, right?

That's the one.

So that was fun.
Yeah, it was.

I hope I was a gentleman.

Of course you were.

Okay, good, 'cause I wouldn't
want you to get the wrong idea.

About what?

Well, it's just that I like you,

and, uh, if I weren't married
maybe things would be different.

But you are.

I kn... right, of course.
I mean, I-don't even know

if you'd want to be with me
if I weren't married.

You had your chance.

I did?

In high school.

I told you that already.

Oh, right. I thought you were
talking about at coffee.

No.

Not your thing.

Nope.

That's good.
I like that about you.

Shows character.
Not many girls are like that.

Is it your thing?

Not up to this point.

Although if you had thrown
yourself at me this afternoon,

who knows if I could've controlled myself?
Then I promise I never will.

But what if I want to test it,

see if I can hold out?

You wouldn't be able to.

Now you've just given me
something to think about

on my drive home.

Thank you

for having coffee with me,
Ms. Fiona Gallagher.

You're welcome, Craig Heisner.

My wife says it's bad luck
to put your purse on the floor.

What?

Like throwing money
out the window.

You should pick it up.

Oh.

Okay.

Thanks.

Now I know why they call it

a world-famous salad bar.

Veronica:
My steak is too rare.

Have this one, king Henry.

Hey, what was the final tally
in the purse?

526 bucks.

Who carries around
that kind of cash?

Uh...

Kim Furtado.
Veronica: Some rich bitch.

In our neighborhood?

Uh, I was up in Glencoe

having coffee with a friend
from high school.

That guy from your diary?

Fiona: Shut up, and eat
your spaghetti taco.

You think it's real?
And if so,

can I have it?
Yeah, it is.

The L-V's are two inches apart,

seams are even,
stitching's yellow,

and the leather has
turned dark brown

from oxidation.

I read a lot.

Debs.

Have more salad...
It's all-you-can-eat.

In some parts of India.

They leave dead bodies in the
street to be eaten by vultures.

I can't wait to die.

Why?

To be closer to God.

If it weren't a sin,
I'd kill myself

so that it could happen sooner.

Lip:
Um, hey, Fi.

Hm? Know what you should do?

Ride the L more often?

I think I found her home number.

Tell her you
found her purse...

I bet she'll give you a reward.

Shit, it went to voicemail...
Leave a message.

Hi, Kim.

Uh, my name's Fiona.

I found your purse on the L.

Um, give me a call back
on your cell

so that I can get it
back to you. Okay, bye.

Perfect. Now,
don't give it back

unless she gives you
at least 200 bucks.

That's how much we can
get for it on eBay.

All right, you guys...
(Clears throat)

Let's go stock up on
chicken nuggets for home.

I heart sizzler.

You know, it's a good thing that
I met up with Craig Heisner.

Otherwise I never would've found the purse.
He's married.

I'm talking about the purse.

(Knock at door)

Sheils!

Door!

(Knock at door) Karen?

Door!

(Knock at door)

Oh, goddamn it!

Karen's not here.

I know. She's working
at the tanning salon.

Thanks for the update.

Actually, I came to see you.

I'm busy.

I want to marry Karen.

Well, what do I give a shit for?

Hoping to get your blessing.

I, uh...

Got her a ring.

Microscope come with that?

(Case snaps shut)

You know what?

Congratulations!

Why don't you, um...

Why don't you go get us
a couple of beers

out of the fridge?
Let's celebrate!

Great!

(Chuckles)

I will stab you
until you bleed to death

if you don't quit it out!
Lip: Yo, buddy!

Shut up!

Yeah?

Look, you got to get a job
this summer so we can

make it through the
winter, all right?

I've been helping Debbie
with day care.

Eating all the mac and cheese is
not helping out, bud. Need to put

a thousand bucks in the squirrel
fund before you go back to school.

Fiona:
Debs! Carl! A little help.

Go help your sister.
Fiona: Help?

Lip: Oh, is this from
the purse windfall?

The gift that keeps on giving.

Waffles!

Blueberry pancakes in there,
french toast,

and scrambled egg whites with
sausage for Lieutenant Gallagher.

Thanks, Fi.
Newspaper.

Thank you.

New socks, Carl.

Throw out the ones
with the holes in 'em.

Awesome!
Lip: Manicure?

Treated myself.
Oh.

19 people died
in Chicago yesterday.

Carton of smokes for you, Lip.

Wow. This guy died
of heat exhaustion.

He was only 54.

People can die from heat exhaustion?
Okay,

put the rest of this stuff away.

I gotta go meet
the rich purse woman.

Lip: Oh, she called?
This morning.

Hey, remember,

no reward, no purse.

Knock, knock.

What's all this?

Uh, Kermit can't paint
your house this week.

Something about his
herpes acting up.

I think he got it

from that girlfriend of his.

So I'm gonna do it.

I brought you a couple of
things I thought you could use.

Batteries for your beeper.

(Beeping) Working.

Those DVD's you wanted.

They were, like, 20 bucks each,

but don't worry about
it... It's on the me.

Terms of endearment,
misery, and beaches,

starring that guy Bette Midler.

One more thing.

What the hell's that?

An engagement ring.

It's a little small,

don't you think?
They were out of the big ones.

Who's it for?
You.

You're not serious.

Serious as a heart attack.

Sorry, that was in poor taste.

(Case snaps shut)
You want to marry me?

Sure.

I could get my new heart
any time now, live a long life.

Well, then let's
live it together.

I'm not sure I want to get stuck

looking at your mug
for the rest

of my life.
I'll wear a bag over my head.

(Laughing)

Sometimes you're funny,
Gallagher.

(Coughing)

Hell, who am I kidding?
I might only have

a few weeks
if my pager never beeps.

Don't you want to die
knowing someone loved you.

You don't love me.

You're kind of growing on me.

What is this about, Frank?

You trying to get my pension?

You have a pension?

I told you.

And I may be dead
way before I can collect it.

Yes. But...
When you die...

And let's hope that's not
for another 20 years...

Your pension automatically
goes to your spouse.

What spouse?

Oh, for Christ sakes!

I've busted my ass around here!

It's only been two weeks.

Dottie...

You worked for the
city for 23 years.

28, if you count the five I
scraped gum off the sidewalk.

All the money you
put in your pension

will go to waste.

You worked goddamn hard for it.

Why should you get it?

Because I'll keep
your memory alive.

Tomorrow,

we'll go down to city
hall and get hitched.

And when you pass, I'll light
a candle for you every day.

I'll make sure the priest at
St. Thomas Moore gives a mass

in your honor once a month.

And I'll put flowers
on your grave

at easter and mother's day...

And your birthday.

I'll even make sure Kevin
names a drink after you

down at the alibi.

And every night at last call,

we'll have a toast,

and drink to Dottie Coronis.

I won't let you
be forgotten, Dot.

Okay.

Okay?

I'll be your wife.

Well, hot dog!
That's my girl!

(Laughing)

(Text alert chimes)

(Music playing) Yes?

Kim?

Can I help you?
Guys!

Go dump out the Legos and mama'll
be in to play in a minute.

Uh, uh, I have your purse.

(Laughs):
Oh! Thank you!

Sorry, I didn't mean
to be a bitch.

Kids are driving me insane today.
It's okay.

I should get going.

(Music continues playing)

It's Fiona, right?
Yeah.

We just moved in.
Some of the neighbors

aren't too pleased
with all the noise.

I thought you might be one of them.
Oh, God, no.

I live on the South side.

Oh, I'm from Kenwood.

Back of the yards!

Shoot, you didn't see any
money in here, did you?

No, I just looked for your
license and cell, that's it.

I had, like, 500 bucks;
it was my rent.

That sucks.

Bet some derelict on
the train snagged it.

I'm sorry.

Do you want to
come in for coffee?

I can't, I got to get to work.

Well, thanks again, it's nice

to know there are kind
people out there. Bye.

(Children shouting)

Guys, calm down.

(Door slams)

What's all this stuff?

Fiona bought us breakfast with
the money she found on the L.

Sweet.

So Stan's not doing too good.

Aw, you want me to go over,
do my dance for him,

make him feel better?

Nah, I think
he's past the dance.

Looks like he's gonna need
around-the-clock care soon.

Hmm, can he afford that?

Funny you should ask.

I have a plan.
Uh-oh.

What uh-oh?
Sometimes your plans

can be a little crazy-pants,
Kev... Case in point.

Yeah, but you like
that plan now.

I'm on the road to liking it.

I think you're going
to like this plan.

I'm gonna buy
the bar from Stan.

What?
The alibi room...

I'm gonna buy it.
With what, your silver chains?

No, I'm gonna go
to the loan store today

and pick up some forms.

You mean the bank?

Yeah.

That's a big step.

If I buy the bar, then
Stan will have enough cash

to pay for in-home care.

He won't have to go
to some shithole

old folks home like
where you work.

That's a good idea.
Thank you.

(Chuckles)

V?

It's a great idea.

That's a stupid idea.

I know, but I couldn't
tell him the truth.

He would suck at owning the bar.
Honey, he would suck

at organizing
his underwear drawer.

That's why he doesn't wear
clean ones.

How much does a bar cost?

More than the $85
we have in the bank.

My girls give good head,
don't they, ladies?

(Laughs) Louise is
ready for you, Vickie.

Come on, baby.

I'm gonna pay that
purse woman back.

Why?

She was nice.

Not rich at all.

I feel bad.

She had a bunch of
kids running around.

Well, you'll just return

the next Louis Vuitton you find.

I'd want the money back
if it happened to me.

Yeah, well, you wouldn't
leave your purse on the L.

She deserves what she got
for being dumb.

Mama, should Fiona give that
woman her money back or keep it?

Well, depends on where you
want to spend eternity...

Rooming with Mother Teresa

or Osama Bin laden.
(Laughs)

I'm giving it back.

I thought you spent it all
on shrimp and waffles.

No, I have $112 left,
so I need $414 more.

Picked up an extra shift
at the club tonight.

I'm just going to bust my ass
till I make it.

You gonna just keep
that dollar in your hand?

Thank you.

(Snickers)

(Alarm chirps)

So how's your, uh, boyfriend

Joey?
Jody.

Right.
Good.

Looking for a job.

Hmm.
How's Ian's training going?

Well, the physical
stuff is great.

Academics suck.

Job as what?

He's a tattoo artist.

Of course he is.

Do you think Ian will get
into west point?

Well, competition's tough,
but we have to try.

Now, can you really
call them artists

when all they're really doing

is putting ink in
somebody's arm?

He's very good at what he does.

Sure.
Do you want Ian

to get in?
I don't know.

I mean, you know,
I don't want him

just to struggle keeping up

and then have to enlist.

You know what? I'm thinking
about getting a tattoo of you.

You think Jody would
do that for me?

Maybe Ian will surprise you.

I hope so.

Awesome.
(Laughs)

All yours.

Yes, it is.

I'm going to take a shower
before days of our lives starts.

There's a lot of shit in here.

Well, I can't always
make it to the toilet.

(Water running)

I'm kidding, Frank.

(Beeping)

(Dottie singing
"Afternoon Delight")

Uh, yeah, you just paged me.

Woman: Good afternoon, is
this patient 13437917?

Yes... Well, her husband.

There was a bus crash
on Interstate 494.

We've been informed
there may be a heart available.

Um, she, she doesn't
need it anymore.

What?

She passed last night.

Please accept our condolences.

She was the love of my life.

I don't know
how I'm going to survive.

We're so sorry an organ
didn't become available in time.

Thank you.

(Dottie singing
"Afternoon Delight")

(Dottie continues singing)
(Frank whistling)

Kate:
You spelled Kevin wrong.

Ha-ha, very funny.

Veronica:
Hey, babe,

what you need me to sign?
Loan forms.

I need you to help
fill them out first.

They're like 20 pages long.

Kev, if you own the bar,

I'm never gonna see you anymore.

That's not true.

Sure, it is.

Business owners always
work long hours.

Look at the wangs.

Chicken wing wangs?
Yeah.

Those kids are there all day.

It's a, it's a full-time job
for the entire family.

My hours won't change, baby.

I practically run
this place now.

Excuse me, who runs this joint?

Oh, what, you think you do?

I make the schedule.
That's because I let you.

It's called delegating.

V, what's your mom's
maiden name?

How we gonna swing this, Kev?

The banks want 20% down.

30, but if I make
an extra $1,000 a week,

I'll have enough in six months.
A thousand?

You never make more than a
couple hundred a night. I know.

That's why I'm planning to do
special events every week.

What kind of special events?
Disco nights,

singles mixers,
throwing a beach party

tomorrow to kick things off.

A what?

Sand, tropical drinks,
sun and fun, baby.

Shit's cool, huh?

Yeah, really cool.

Seriously?
(Chuckles)

What are you doing?

Lost Karen's ring.

Oh, man, that sucks.

Used all my savings to buy it.

When I lose something, I
like to say a little prayer.

Something's lost
and cannot be found.

Please, St. Anthony,
look around.

Okay.

You seen Karen?

I don't have a prayer for that.

(Rock music playing)

I have something to tell you.

What, finally going to let me
plow the back fields?

You already are.

Oh, shit, sorry, um...

It's okay,

I like it.

Oh.
(Chuckles)

So what'd you want to tell me?

We can't have sex anymore.

What?

I'm pretty sure that
Jody's going to propose.

Is, is that a good thing?

It's a great thing.

Oh.

Okay.

Another boilermaker, Kev.

Hey, Frank, you ever
take out a loan?

Don't like the paper trail.

Always pay cash.

Okay, I'll just pull 150 grand

out of my pocket
and pay for the bar myself.

You're just like everyone else,
Kev, you know that?

Always looking for a handout.

Fuck you, Frank.

Can I borrow some money?

Can I borrow your car?

Can I borrow your organ?

What the fuck are you talking about?
You know what's wrong

with the organ
transplant system?

No, and I don't care,

but I doubt that'll stop you.

If you're waiting

for a new organ, you are

just interfering
with God's plan.

What, so God's plan is,
some little kid dies

of kidney failure because
he didn't get a transplant?

Why do you argue with him?

I can't... I don't know...
I can't help myself.

God's plan is that you take

what we are given
and don't complain.

No one is satisfied
with what they have anymore.

Always trying
to get something better.

"I don't like my heart;
I think I'll get on a list,

get a new one, upgrade."

You talking about butterface?

If you've got a bum heart,
that's your lot in life.

Don't take someone else's.

It's not yours.

She got along

just fine with her heart
all these years.

Why's she got to be greedy

and want another one?

Could be worse.

She could be like those people
born without a heart.

You mean dead people?

Worked with a guy from
Michigan... Only spoke English.

Got a liver transplant
from a Mexican.

Suddenly speaks
perfect Spanish.

And just 'cause she's
on some stupid list,

how come she's
the next one in line?

Maybe there's someone needier

or more deserving,
like a black woman.

Those people have gotten
a bum rap in our society,

being two minorities and all.

I should call V
and tell her that.

From now on, only black ladies

should get all the
organ transplants.

Finally give them first crack

at something in this lifetime.

Carl:
I saw that.

I put more money in
here than anyone, okay,

so zip it.
Debbie: Thought we weren't supposed to touch

the squirrel fund

till Thanksgiving?
We're not,

but I have to borrow 50 bucks

so that I can return
all the purse money I found.

We give stuff back
when we find it?

No.
What?

Finders keepers,
losers weepers.

Don't be telling him that.
It's the Gallagher credo.

Find something,
it's your lucky day

and somebody else's shitty day.

Tomorrow it's going
to be the opposite.

It's the balance of nature.

What are you doing here?
Hey.

Came to get my good suit.

Your good suit?

I'm getting married today.

You're already married.

Technicality.

Remember, no good deed
goes unpunished.

Every man for himself.

Don't listen to him, okay?

We give stuff back.
I did the wrong thing

and now I'm gonna go do
the right thing.

(Ringtone playing)

Hey.

What you doing?

I got to run an errand

up in Glencoe.

Well, I have a few minutes free.

You want to take a detour
and meet me?

I can't, sorry.

I wish I could.

No, it's okay,
I just thought I'd try. Bye.

Bye.

What in the hell, Kev?

Oh, shit, baby, I'm sorry,
I was trying not to wake you.

What are you doing

up so early?
Getting ready for the beach party

at the alibi room.

You're really going to do this?

Oh, yeah, but I was thinking,

you know, it's going
to take a little while

for my special events
nights to kick in

and start making money.

That's probably true.

So let's take a cash advance
out on the capital one card.

What? I know we're saving it for
an emergency, but I called.

They'll give us $5,000.

Kev.
Or I can go to Vinnie.

You know, he came in
late last night,

said he'd loan me enough
for the down payment.

Even offered to drop his
interest rate to 40%.

Vinnie "The Shiv" Vinnie,
who cut that guy's head off?

He was never indicted.
Doesn't mean it didn't happen.

We could go to your mom.

She hasn't touched
the equity on her house.

It's a horrible idea.

What is?
Buying the bar.

You're not doing it.
I thought you said

it was a good idea.
I love you,

I do, but you'd be
terrible at it.

You're better at doing
one thing at a time.

Owning a bar is
like a juggling act.

You don't have the head
for that kind of thing.

Are you calling me dumb?

No.

Well, it sounds like you are.

Maybe I'm just too dumb
to understand.

I'm not calling you dumb.

You applied it.

"Implied."

I know.

I said it on purpose

to show you how dumb I am.

You're going to ruin our
credit, my mother's credit.

You know, maybe you could
just let me try it

before you get
all negative on me.

Kev, be reasonable.

I got to go to the bar
and blow up my beach balls.

(Door closes)

Hey, Dots, it's me.

You ready?

Dottie, why aren't you dressed?

This is our big day.

Chop-chop, city
hall awaits.

I was watching the news.

There was an accident
on I-494 yesterday.

Oh.

Why don't you tell me about it

on the bus ride
down to city hall?

One of the victims had
a B-positive heart.

A boy from Clark County got it.

He's a lucky guy.

And so am I.

♪ Because we're going
to the chapel ♪

♪ and we're gonna
get married... ♪

That was the heart I needed.

Oh, I'm sure there's another one
just around the corner.

Come on, we should
try to beat the rush

of Mexicans getting married.

My doctor said
b-positive hearts are rare.

Huh?

Maybe come along
once every six months.

I looked it up online.

No, no, lots of people
are organ donors.

I won't last
another six months.

You got to keep
a positive outlook, Dottie.

I'm ready to go now, Frank.

Take me to the bedroom.

The... oh.

No. No, no, no, no,
I can't do that.

I'm halfway there as it is.

We're not married.

Don't do this, Frank.

I'm a very religious man.

I know
that you've been playing me.

What?
It's okay.

I've enjoyed our time together.

So have I.

You took care of me

and gave me companionship
in my final weeks.

But my house is going to
the national coalition of nuns.

And my money's gonna go
to my daughter.

You said
she wasn't speaking to you.

She doesn't...
But it's my fault.

I wasn't a good mother.

The booze, and I yelled.

And I hit her.

It's gotta go to her, Frank.

(Sighs)

I should be getting
home to my kids.

I'll give you two grand.

What?

Cash. It's in the freezer.

(Sighs)

Make it three?

Two and the flat screen.

If you care about me,
you'll do this for me, Frank.

I want to leave the
lights on when we do it.

And eyes open.

(Dottie screams,
Frank vocalizes)

(Both moaning loudly)

You feel so good. Here it comes,
here it comes, here it comes.

(Muttering, vocalizing)

(Grunting)

(Panting)

Why didn't we do that
a long time ago? Huh?

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ uh-huh ♪

♪ blue balls ain't no fun
and I know... ♪

I'm at, uh, 354 Crescent Drive.

♪ Why don't you stick
to what you know? ♪

My girlfriend died.

You're still so warm.

♪ Oh, yeah, every day, uh-huh ♪

♪ on the tv tray. ♪

Hi.
Hey. What's up?

I feel really bad
somebody swiped your money.

Oh, yeah?
Yeah, I thought I'd give you...

Oh, please, like I
don't know you took it.

What? No. Come on, you stole
my goddamn money. Admit it.

I did not.
Of course you did.

You're a skanky, ghetto
trash, hood girl.

Oh, what, like
you're all high and mighty

'cause you moved north,
and you have a Louis Vuitton?

Which you fucking swiped.

Which you were stupid enough
to leave on the L.

Bitch.
Oh, you're the bitch.

Okay? I came here to be nice,
but forget it now.

Fuck you.
Oh, eat me.

Whore.
Slut.

Asshole.
Cunt.

Off to steal
another fucking purse?

Finders keepers, losers weepers.

Fuck you! Fuck!

Hey, still free to get together?

Veronica:
Fi, you up here?

You want to go
to the alibi with me,

spend some money
and support Kev?

She went to give the purse woman

her money back.

He's okay.
Not dead.

Debs, what gives
with this obsession about death?

Nothing.

Come on, it's me.

Well, until Harry, I had no
idea people I knew could die.

Honey, he was old.

Yeah, but that means my
family's gonna die, too.

Yeah, in, like, 80 years.

And then I'll be all alone.

What?

Men die first.
Lip, Ian, Carl, Liam.

Then Fiona because she's older.

That just leaves
me all by myself.

Debs, there are way
too many things in life

you're gonna have
to worry about.

Don't stress
about this right now.

Yeah, but I can't
shut off my brain.

Think about nice things.

Flowers, ice cream, puppies.

Can you do that?

I guess so.

What are you thinking about now?

A puppy...

Getting hit by a car.

(Laughs)

Well, that's a start.

Come here.

Why'd you want to meet here?

You said I should have made
a move on you in high school.

You should have.

Here we are.

You want to pretend like
we're back in high school?

We don't really have
to pretend.

What do you mean?

In some time space continuum,
we still are in high school.

Like in a parallel universe?

What about your wife?

I didn't have a wife
in high school.

(Loud grunting)

Seriously?

(Goofy grunting)

Ew!
(Grunting)

(Whimsical music plays)
Female mechanical voice: Z. Zebra.

Super. Which one is the Zebra?

(Grunting continues)

Okay, you know what?
What?

Which one is the Zebra?

(High-pitched eeking)

Good job!

Ee, ee, ee.

Two virgin piña coladas.

Thank you, Kate.
Hey, baby.

Lenny, Lenny, what
the fuck, man?

This isn't a litter box.

Don't say a fucking word.

I didn't say anything.
You were thinking it.

I was not.

What you said this morning
was really mean. I know.

I'm sorry. That's why
I came, to show you support.

Oh, yeah? Well, the beach
party's a disaster.

The next one's gonna be better.

And don't be chopping off
my balls like that again.

I got nothing but love
for your balls.

V, I really want
to buy this bar.

Fine.

If the time comes
where Stan needs to sell,

we'll try and figure something
out, but no Vinnie The Shiv.

Jesus Christ. Squelch
my dreams much?

(Laughs)

(Veronica laughs, door closes)

Kevin: Nice. Where'd you
steal that one from, Frank?

Booze.

Have you been crying?

Makers.
How many shots?

(Sighs) Bottle it is.

You look like
you've seen a ghost, Frank.

Ring.

Aw, Frank, the prayer worked.

Karen:
Is that my ring?

(Screams)
Yes! Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.

("Wedding March" playing)

You okay, daddy?

I just looked death
in the face, debs.

It wasn't pretty.

I know what you mean.

You got to just think
of something nice.

♪ It just got cold outside ♪

♪ but it's much colder... ♪

(Line ringing)

♪ Here ♪

♪ with you... ♪

(Line ringing)

(Ringtone playing)

Hey.

Hey.

How are you?

Good.

You?

Good.

Just wanted to say hi.

Glad you did.

Bye.

(Exhales slowly)

Ow, ow, sweetie,
watch the teeth.

(Sighs)

Sync and corrections by n17t01
www.addic7ed.com

♪ oh... ♪

(Clatters, Frank sighs)

("Mischief Night"
by The Young Werewolves playing)

(Frank coughs)

♪ Well, I ♪

♪ I heard a rumor
it was goin' down ♪

♪ I heard a rumor
it was goin' down ♪