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1
00:00:01,777 --> 00:00:03,311
- Len, my marriage
is falling apart.
2
00:00:03,387 --> 00:00:04,360
I had to make a call.
3
00:00:04,528 --> 00:00:06,570
- So, you went to the shadiest
nail salon in San Francisco
4
00:00:06,748 --> 00:00:08,182
and got a bikini wax?
5
00:00:08,256 --> 00:00:10,641
- I think they just found,
like, an old yankee candle,
6
00:00:10,740 --> 00:00:12,408
melted it down,
and slapped it on down there.
7
00:00:12,506 --> 00:00:14,102
- Jessica, come on!
8
00:00:14,268 --> 00:00:16,838
- Listen, Peter's
coming home tomorrow, I didn't have a choice.
9
00:00:16,959 --> 00:00:18,844
- Hey, you always have a choice
when it comes to your vagina.
10
00:00:18,930 --> 00:00:20,413
- What do you
want me to do--
11
00:00:20,472 --> 00:00:22,724
Greet my husband at the door
wearing a pair of fur shorts?
12
00:00:22,819 --> 00:00:24,236
- I'm not listening,
but I will say
13
00:00:24,327 --> 00:00:25,995
that men do like
a natural woman.
14
00:00:26,075 --> 00:00:27,408
- Joe, get out of there!
15
00:00:27,462 --> 00:00:29,279
Hey, he's lying to you,
by the way.
16
00:00:29,601 --> 00:00:30,751
You should get that
taken care of.
17
00:00:30,801 --> 00:00:31,784
- Never.
- Lennon.
18
00:00:31,829 --> 00:00:33,613
It is a situation
down there.
19
00:00:33,696 --> 00:00:34,964
- They may take my life...
20
00:00:35,033 --> 00:00:36,350
- Don't you do it.
Don't do braveheart.
21
00:00:36,420 --> 00:00:37,654
- But they'll never take...
22
00:00:37,740 --> 00:00:38,757
Both: My freedom!
23
00:00:38,819 --> 00:00:39,969
- Oh, my god.
You two are insane.
24
00:00:40,035 --> 00:00:41,953
[Doorbell rings]
I got to get the door. Hold on.
25
00:00:42,041 --> 00:00:45,126
- Babe, you nailed it.
26
00:00:45,244 --> 00:00:46,945
- Oh, my god!
27
00:00:47,025 --> 00:00:47,959
- What's happening?
28
00:00:48,020 --> 00:00:49,521
- [Screams]
- Jessica?
29
00:00:49,596 --> 00:00:51,714
Are you being murdered?
What's going on?
30
00:00:51,806 --> 00:00:52,873
What happened?
31
00:00:52,937 --> 00:00:55,105
- [Crying] Peter Fed Exed me
divorce papers.
32
00:00:55,198 --> 00:00:56,532
- Oh, my--
- I didn't get a word of that.
33
00:00:56,603 --> 00:00:57,920
- Peter Fed Exed her
divorce papers.
34
00:00:57,991 --> 00:01:00,275
- He didn't even Fed Ex them
priority overnight.
35
00:01:00,373 --> 00:01:02,707
- Well, what did he send it?
- Two-day ground, Lennon.
36
00:01:02,806 --> 00:01:04,540
- Two-day ground?
Really?
37
00:01:04,621 --> 00:01:05,704
- I broke it.
38
00:01:05,752 --> 00:01:07,503
Lennon, I just
broke these papers.
39
00:01:07,585 --> 00:01:08,985
- Okay, you know what?
That's it.
40
00:01:09,041 --> 00:01:10,125
You're coming home tonight.
41
00:01:10,189 --> 00:01:11,823
I'm booking you
a ticket to New York.
42
00:01:14,901 --> 00:01:15,985
- On the plus side, Jess,
43
00:01:16,049 --> 00:01:17,650
You can put those
fur shorts back on.
44
00:01:17,728 --> 00:01:18,711
- Babe!
45
00:01:18,774 --> 00:01:20,424
- Joe, what are you
talking about?
46
00:01:20,503 --> 00:01:23,324
- I'm--I'm sorry.
I'm not good with tragedy.
47
00:01:23,480 --> 00:01:28,124
"Best Friends Forever: S01E01" "Pilot"
Original air date 04 April, 2012
48
00:01:28,250 --> 00:01:31,441
Sync by honeybunny
Corrections by MaxiZephyr www.addic7ed.com
49
00:01:31,709 --> 00:01:33,609
- Here I was
just waxing things...
50
00:01:33,696 --> 00:01:35,430
- Well, I told you about that.
51
00:01:35,512 --> 00:01:36,679
- Talking to Dr. Gail.
- Okay.
52
00:01:36,745 --> 00:01:38,413
- The point is
he's already checked out.
53
00:01:38,493 --> 00:01:40,494
- That's how he was
the entire marriage, Jess.
54
00:01:40,584 --> 00:01:42,701
- I just feel like
such an idiot.
55
00:01:42,810 --> 00:01:44,277
- I know, but...
56
00:01:44,353 --> 00:01:45,953
I don't think there's
anything you could've done.
57
00:01:46,032 --> 00:01:49,067
- I bet--I bet he's with that
girl from the Lisbon office--
58
00:01:49,185 --> 00:01:51,252
Short bangs.
- Okay, let's not jump to any--
59
00:01:51,342 --> 00:01:52,760
- I didn't trust her
the moment I saw her,
60
00:01:52,833 --> 00:01:55,051
With those knee-high socks,
and those Mary Janes.
61
00:01:55,146 --> 00:01:56,647
- Well, that is not
a professional look.
62
00:01:56,723 --> 00:01:57,990
- No, it isn't.
63
00:01:58,042 --> 00:01:59,993
But I bet she's
a lot less work than I am.
64
00:02:00,081 --> 00:02:01,899
- Okay, all right.
65
00:02:01,983 --> 00:02:04,935
- I'll bet Short bangs
is real fun.
66
00:02:05,033 --> 00:02:06,233
I used to be fun, Len.
67
00:02:06,300 --> 00:02:07,617
- You're still fun.
68
00:02:07,688 --> 00:02:09,939
- Remember those trips
to Block island?
69
00:02:10,035 --> 00:02:11,903
We rode tandem bikes?
- Yeah.
70
00:02:11,988 --> 00:02:14,072
- Now no one wants to ride
tandem bikes with me.
71
00:02:14,164 --> 00:02:15,814
- Hey, I have told you
a thousand times
72
00:02:15,895 --> 00:02:17,746
I would love to ride
a tandem bike with you.
73
00:02:17,830 --> 00:02:20,065
- [Sighs]
God.
74
00:02:20,161 --> 00:02:24,214
We always
blame ourselves, huh?
75
00:02:26,928 --> 00:02:28,979
- Um...
76
00:02:29,069 --> 00:02:31,871
I just feel, you know...
- Yeah.
77
00:02:31,983 --> 00:02:34,701
- I just want...
78
00:02:34,809 --> 00:02:36,810
Um, Len...
79
00:02:36,900 --> 00:02:39,434
Is there perhaps somewhere
that he might go?
80
00:02:39,538 --> 00:02:40,738
- Well, he lives here.
81
00:02:40,805 --> 00:02:43,807
- No, I know, but maybe,
like, a 24-hour Duane Reade
82
00:02:43,924 --> 00:02:46,625
or, like, a bus station maybe,
where they have an open kiosk
83
00:02:46,734 --> 00:02:48,134
or something?
- You know he can hear us.
84
00:02:48,208 --> 00:02:49,624
- I don't care, Lennon.
- Okay.
85
00:02:49,680 --> 00:02:52,032
Um, hey, babe, I'm sorry.
Would you mind just, uh...?
86
00:02:52,131 --> 00:02:53,899
- Oh, yeah, totally.
87
00:02:53,981 --> 00:02:55,582
I'm buying deodorant.
I'm getting on a bus.
88
00:02:55,660 --> 00:02:57,894
- Okay, listen to me.
This is what we're gonna do.
89
00:02:57,990 --> 00:02:59,323
We're gonna make up
a nice, comfy bed for you
90
00:02:59,378 --> 00:03:00,545
in your old room.
- Okay.
91
00:03:00,611 --> 00:03:01,511
- That's my office.
92
00:03:01,571 --> 00:03:02,737
- Joe will blow up the aerobed.
93
00:03:02,805 --> 00:03:03,922
- Or I could just sleep
on the couch,
94
00:03:03,987 --> 00:03:05,104
And you guys could take
the bedroom.
95
00:03:05,169 --> 00:03:06,570
- Really, babe?
- That'd be great. Thank you.
96
00:03:06,642 --> 00:03:08,026
- No, I was kidding.
- And we'll just spend
97
00:03:08,099 --> 00:03:09,516
the whole weekend
just snuggled up on the couch,
98
00:03:09,589 --> 00:03:11,040
watching Steel Magnolias.
- Can we watchSteel Magnolias?
99
00:03:11,114 --> 00:03:12,698
- But we are doing
lazy Sunday, right?
100
00:03:12,776 --> 00:03:13,792
That--that's still on.
101
00:03:13,856 --> 00:03:15,756
- Wait, you guys
still do lazy Sunday?
102
00:03:15,843 --> 00:03:17,076
That was our thing, Len.
103
00:03:17,145 --> 00:03:18,778
- Yeah, I mean,
it's so different
104
00:03:18,841 --> 00:03:20,309
from when you and I
used to do it.
105
00:03:20,383 --> 00:03:22,267
- Yeah, we do it real lazy.
We do it right.
106
00:03:22,336 --> 00:03:24,570
Best buds, chili,
the wolverines game...
107
00:03:24,666 --> 00:03:27,501
- Wait--w-wait a second.
The tv is on?
108
00:03:27,613 --> 00:03:30,148
Well, is it still
a culinary experience?
109
00:03:30,252 --> 00:03:31,568
Because when
I was in charge,
110
00:03:31,622 --> 00:03:33,657
it was a trip around the world
for the taste buds.
111
00:03:33,747 --> 00:03:35,097
- Oh, it's still
a culinary experience.
112
00:03:35,169 --> 00:03:36,569
I'm--I'm making
my monster chili,
113
00:03:36,642 --> 00:03:38,110
with real
monster energy drink,
114
00:03:38,184 --> 00:03:39,217
and scoops.
115
00:03:40,530 --> 00:03:42,330
- What the hell are scoops?
116
00:03:42,414 --> 00:03:46,400
- Okay, so a scoop is like
a miniature tortilla bowl
117
00:03:46,543 --> 00:03:48,645
designed
by genius scientists
118
00:03:48,736 --> 00:03:50,971
to convey the maximum amount
of Guacamole, of Salsa...
119
00:03:51,084 --> 00:03:52,517
- I don't understand
what's happening right now, Len.
120
00:03:52,592 --> 00:03:55,527
- Okay, I-I think it might
just all be too much right now.
121
00:03:55,641 --> 00:03:56,842
- But Rav's already
bringing the pony keg.
122
00:03:56,909 --> 00:03:58,826
- I'm--wait. Rav is coming?
- Yeah.
123
00:03:58,913 --> 00:04:00,864
And he's bringing this girl he's
dating who was on Miami Inc.
124
00:04:00,952 --> 00:04:02,252
- Lennon, I cannot see Rav
right now.
125
00:04:02,323 --> 00:04:04,007
- Jess, it's been, like,
three years, come on.
126
00:04:04,087 --> 00:04:05,104
- Okay, you know what?
127
00:04:05,150 --> 00:04:09,470
We're just gonna host
next month.
128
00:04:09,621 --> 00:04:10,654
- Oh...
129
00:04:14,984 --> 00:04:16,317
- Listen...
130
00:04:16,406 --> 00:04:18,623
I know you're having
a really tough time right now.
131
00:04:18,719 --> 00:04:20,353
- W-why are you
whispering?
132
00:04:20,432 --> 00:04:22,150
- I'm whispering because
I need to get across
133
00:04:22,231 --> 00:04:23,448
some information
in a hushed tone, okay?
134
00:04:23,516 --> 00:04:24,666
- Okay, what--
what do you want?
135
00:04:24,733 --> 00:04:26,066
- I need lazy Sunday
to happen,
136
00:04:26,138 --> 00:04:27,738
'cause I'm planning
something special for Len.
137
00:04:27,817 --> 00:04:29,200
- Well,
what are you planning?
138
00:04:29,273 --> 00:04:31,057
- I--there's no way
I can tell you that.
139
00:04:31,140 --> 00:04:33,058
You'll run and tell her, just
like you did with Springsteen.
140
00:04:33,145 --> 00:04:34,479
- Joe, that was
an outdoor concert.
141
00:04:34,567 --> 00:04:36,668
I was trying to just make sure
she had a light jacket.
142
00:04:36,760 --> 00:04:39,529
- I'm giving up my office.
It's the least you can do.
143
00:04:39,638 --> 00:04:41,289
- All right, fine.
144
00:04:41,369 --> 00:04:43,353
- Great.
145
00:04:43,442 --> 00:04:45,460
- What are you do--who--
what is happening? Okay.
146
00:04:45,549 --> 00:04:47,233
- I just thought
you're having a rough time.
147
00:04:47,314 --> 00:04:49,282
- I know, but I just
would rather--thank you.
148
00:04:49,370 --> 00:04:52,339
- Babe, thank you so much
for giving up your office.
149
00:04:52,453 --> 00:04:53,453
She just needs,
like, a drawer or two.
150
00:04:53,499 --> 00:04:54,716
- Okay, but just, please,
151
00:04:54,784 --> 00:04:57,219
I don't want her
touching my desk, all right?
152
00:04:57,319 --> 00:04:58,720
I'm designing this new character
for my new game,
153
00:04:58,793 --> 00:05:00,260
Fatal Blowout,and I just--
154
00:05:00,335 --> 00:05:02,219
- I'm sorry. Fatal Blowout?I am gonna need to see that.
155
00:05:02,322 --> 00:05:04,189
- Okay, okay, but i--
156
00:05:04,276 --> 00:05:05,843
it's not done or anything, okay?
- I don't care.
157
00:05:05,903 --> 00:05:06,886
- Okay.
158
00:05:08,051 --> 00:05:10,019
There.
159
00:05:10,107 --> 00:05:12,158
- Oh, my god, is that me?
160
00:05:12,249 --> 00:05:14,183
Thanks for giving me
those great boobs.
161
00:05:14,288 --> 00:05:15,905
- Yeah, well,
you actually need them
162
00:05:15,984 --> 00:05:17,534
to balance out your crossbow...
- Mm-hmm.
163
00:05:17,612 --> 00:05:18,962
- Because even though
you have access
164
00:05:19,051 --> 00:05:21,385
to all this
unbelievable weaponry,
165
00:05:21,466 --> 00:05:23,401
you still insist
on only using your crossbow,
166
00:05:23,488 --> 00:05:25,823
which I think
is totally badass.
167
00:05:25,921 --> 00:05:28,172
- That is extremely badass.
168
00:05:28,268 --> 00:05:29,351
I bet you would, uh,
169
00:05:29,416 --> 00:05:31,151
give a drawer
to one of her best friends.
170
00:05:31,250 --> 00:05:32,750
- Yeah, I mean,
I'd have no choice.
171
00:05:32,809 --> 00:05:35,327
- Yeah, 'cause otherwise she'd
murder you with her giant boobs.
172
00:05:35,429 --> 00:05:37,230
[Laughs]
173
00:05:37,297 --> 00:05:38,897
Thank you.
174
00:05:38,976 --> 00:05:41,044
- It was nothing.
175
00:05:41,153 --> 00:05:43,637
- No, not for the boobs,
for the room.
176
00:05:43,739 --> 00:05:47,291
Bye, babe.
Be back in an hour.
177
00:05:47,406 --> 00:05:50,074
Now, you're sure lazy Sunday's
not gonna be too much for you?
178
00:05:50,181 --> 00:05:51,781
- Yes, I think
it'll be good for me
179
00:05:51,861 --> 00:05:53,278
to have something to focus on
other than
180
00:05:53,351 --> 00:05:54,785
the shattered remains
of my life.
181
00:05:54,858 --> 00:05:56,358
- Yeah. Oh, I'm sorry.
The recipe.
182
00:05:56,417 --> 00:05:58,502
- Oh, I'll get it. Hold on.
183
00:05:58,593 --> 00:06:00,277
- [Screams]
184
00:06:04,384 --> 00:06:06,152
- We were gone
five seconds--
185
00:06:06,235 --> 00:06:07,613
just F.Y.I.
186
00:06:10,000 --> 00:06:12,736
Lennon, what was that?
- I'm sorry. It's--
187
00:06:12,844 --> 00:06:14,311
Joe calls that
his "Naked Freedom."
188
00:06:14,403 --> 00:06:16,321
- That means his ass
is all over the seat cushions.
189
00:06:16,408 --> 00:06:17,391
- [Laughs]
Yeah.
190
00:06:17,436 --> 00:06:18,803
- Look who's back.
191
00:06:18,875 --> 00:06:20,609
But I think
we all saw this coming.
192
00:06:20,709 --> 00:06:22,026
You look older.
193
00:06:22,096 --> 00:06:23,863
- Oh, really, Queenetta?
'cause you still look six.
194
00:06:23,947 --> 00:06:26,014
- I'm 9 1/2!
195
00:06:26,105 --> 00:06:27,539
You been gone three years!
Do the math!
196
00:06:27,613 --> 00:06:28,963
- All right,
simmer down, Q.
197
00:06:29,035 --> 00:06:31,987
- Also, now that you're
back in the dating world,
198
00:06:32,102 --> 00:06:34,103
I'd get rid
of them sad khakis.
199
00:06:34,192 --> 00:06:35,559
- I needed a relaxed fit.
200
00:06:35,631 --> 00:06:37,215
- 'cause you got to put
some work in
201
00:06:37,293 --> 00:06:38,743
if you want to keep a man.
202
00:06:38,818 --> 00:06:40,318
Nails done, hair done...
Both: Everything did.
203
00:06:40,394 --> 00:06:41,310
Oh, you fancy, huh?
Oh, you fancy, huh?
204
00:06:41,371 --> 00:06:42,704
- Okay, you know what?
205
00:06:42,758 --> 00:06:45,093
Okay, I will have you know
that I went to joy nail spa,
206
00:06:45,191 --> 00:06:46,808
and I got it all done,
Queenetta.
207
00:06:46,887 --> 00:06:48,922
- Okay, we got to get
to the store, so...
208
00:06:49,012 --> 00:06:50,863
- Ooh, for lazy Sunday?
Can I come?
209
00:06:50,948 --> 00:06:52,682
- All right, I would like to
know why you are always out here
210
00:06:52,764 --> 00:06:53,964
Like a little stoop troll.
211
00:06:54,032 --> 00:06:55,548
- 'cause there's
a new baby in my house,
212
00:06:55,608 --> 00:06:57,009
And I don't like
the way it smells!
213
00:06:57,081 --> 00:06:58,582
- Well, I don't like
the way you smell.
214
00:06:58,658 --> 00:07:00,159
- I don't like the way
your hair smells!
215
00:07:00,234 --> 00:07:02,252
- I don't like your face!
216
00:07:02,341 --> 00:07:03,791
[Bells jangle]
217
00:07:03,866 --> 00:07:05,633
- Don't you worry about it,
sweetheart.
218
00:07:05,717 --> 00:07:07,500
You get back
to your fighting weight,
219
00:07:07,566 --> 00:07:08,950
Get out of them khakis,
220
00:07:09,023 --> 00:07:11,308
And you'll be beatin' 'em
back with a stick.
221
00:07:11,405 --> 00:07:13,856
Now, which one
of my premium meats
222
00:07:13,957 --> 00:07:15,258
Can I interest you
in today?
223
00:07:15,328 --> 00:07:17,346
- Oh, could we have, uh,
seven pounds of ground chuck?
224
00:07:17,435 --> 00:07:18,552
'cause we're doing
Joe's chili.
225
00:07:18,617 --> 00:07:21,786
- You got it.
Allow me to go to the grinder.
226
00:07:21,907 --> 00:07:24,275
- Thank you, Angelo.
- Thank you, Angelo.
227
00:07:24,374 --> 00:07:27,577
Hey, do I really look that bad
in these khakis?
228
00:07:27,698 --> 00:07:29,115
And what's he talking about
with my fighting weight?
229
00:07:29,189 --> 00:07:30,573
- No, it's just
these front pleats.
230
00:07:30,645 --> 00:07:32,412
They give the illusion
of extra weight.
231
00:07:32,496 --> 00:07:34,981
- Oh, god. I have to worry
about this crap again.
232
00:07:35,083 --> 00:07:36,650
I don't even have
any good underwear.
233
00:07:36,727 --> 00:07:38,412
I'm wearing bathing suit bottoms
right now, Lennon.
234
00:07:38,492 --> 00:07:40,092
- Hey, that is not healthy.
Those trap moisture.
235
00:07:40,171 --> 00:07:41,338
- Where am I gonna live--
236
00:07:41,404 --> 00:07:44,456
Some sad studio with a hotplate
and a Murphy bed?
237
00:07:44,574 --> 00:07:47,259
Oh, god,
this is so overwhelming.
238
00:07:47,349 --> 00:07:49,016
I give up.
239
00:07:49,097 --> 00:07:51,014
- You give up.
- Yeah.
240
00:07:51,101 --> 00:07:53,320
- Okay, and this is
from the same woman
241
00:07:53,432 --> 00:07:56,100
who managed to throw together
in mere hours
242
00:07:56,207 --> 00:07:59,076
a mediterranean feast
that would go on to become
243
00:07:59,172 --> 00:08:02,424
one of the most legendary
lazy sundays ever?
244
00:08:02,546 --> 00:08:04,714
Those garlic lamb shanks...
- The shanks...
245
00:08:04,808 --> 00:08:07,076
- I'm sorry, yes,
they fell right off the bone.
246
00:08:07,173 --> 00:08:09,958
And then you did, um,
like, a new potato or some--
247
00:08:10,068 --> 00:08:11,952
- It was a smash. What it was
was a parmesan smash.
248
00:08:12,021 --> 00:08:13,138
- And that
watermelon feta salad.
249
00:08:13,203 --> 00:08:14,370
- Something hot,
something cold.
250
00:08:14,420 --> 00:08:16,287
- Hey, we should do it.
- What?
251
00:08:16,390 --> 00:08:17,390
- We should do it again--
252
00:08:17,452 --> 00:08:18,452
the feast,
the mediterranean feast.
253
00:08:18,514 --> 00:08:19,481
- Okay.
- Okay, Angelo!
254
00:08:19,542 --> 00:08:20,199
- Huh?
255
00:08:20,200 --> 00:08:21,868
- We're gonna need several cuts
of your most premium meats.
256
00:08:21,931 --> 00:08:24,749
- Screw the grinder, Angelo!
The ladies are back!
257
00:08:26,231 --> 00:08:28,249
- Hey, uh...
258
00:08:28,356 --> 00:08:30,223
- Okay, we're whispering.
What's going--
259
00:08:30,308 --> 00:08:31,943
- I just want
to thank you so much.
260
00:08:32,022 --> 00:08:33,322
Lennon is gonna
love the surprise.
261
00:08:33,392 --> 00:08:34,860
- No problem.
262
00:08:34,934 --> 00:08:36,902
- Hey, where are my scoops?
263
00:08:36,990 --> 00:08:38,758
- Oh, we don't need scoops,
264
00:08:38,841 --> 00:08:41,142
'cause we're not doing
chili anymore.
265
00:08:41,240 --> 00:08:42,874
- We're doing shanks.
266
00:08:42,953 --> 00:08:44,670
- What? Why?
267
00:08:44,752 --> 00:08:46,486
- I love you.
268
00:08:46,568 --> 00:08:51,522
- [Sighs]
269
00:08:51,691 --> 00:08:54,693
Only one drawer?
Come on, joe.
270
00:08:59,538 --> 00:09:02,239
Oh, my god.
271
00:09:07,111 --> 00:09:11,030
- Oh!
[Sighs]
272
00:09:13,624 --> 00:09:16,526
- Ha ha!
- Mwah!
273
00:09:18,105 --> 00:09:21,473
- Oh, Rav?
Rav. Rav. Rav.
274
00:09:21,599 --> 00:09:22,833
Can I talk to you?
275
00:09:27,321 --> 00:09:30,724
- Before you say anything,
let me just say I'm sorry.
276
00:09:30,851 --> 00:09:32,552
I never should've told you
not to marry him,
277
00:09:32,633 --> 00:09:33,934
Or punch him in the face.
278
00:09:34,004 --> 00:09:36,205
That was completely wrong
on my part, and I apologize.
279
00:09:36,299 --> 00:09:38,200
- Okay.
Can I ask you a question?
280
00:09:38,287 --> 00:09:39,954
- Sure. Anything.
281
00:09:40,034 --> 00:09:41,768
- What do we think
about Joe for Len,
282
00:09:41,851 --> 00:09:43,502
You know, like, long-term?
283
00:09:43,581 --> 00:09:45,215
- I just laid my soul
on the line.
284
00:09:45,294 --> 00:09:46,695
- And I said, "okay."
285
00:09:46,768 --> 00:09:48,268
- We haven't spoken to each
other in, like, three years.
286
00:09:48,344 --> 00:09:49,461
- That wasn't my fault.
287
00:09:49,526 --> 00:09:50,659
- Well, you didn't return
my calls.
288
00:09:50,725 --> 00:09:52,058
- Well, I was still
mad at you.
289
00:09:52,130 --> 00:09:53,814
- Well, I'm trying
to apologize right now.
290
00:09:53,895 --> 00:09:55,362
- Okay, well, I don't have time
to talk about this,
291
00:09:55,437 --> 00:09:57,021
Because I got to figure out
if this guy is right for Len.
292
00:09:57,099 --> 00:09:59,250
- You're getting a divorce.
Figure that out.
293
00:09:59,344 --> 00:10:00,494
- I have it under control,
but thank you.
294
00:10:00,577 --> 00:10:01,527
- Really?
- Yes.
295
00:10:01,587 --> 00:10:02,821
- Where's your bra?
296
00:10:02,890 --> 00:10:05,575
- Oh, man.
297
00:10:05,666 --> 00:10:08,768
Okay, I found a ring
in Joe's drawer,
298
00:10:08,886 --> 00:10:11,037
And I think he's gonna propose
on lazy Sunday.
299
00:10:11,131 --> 00:10:12,681
- That's awesome.
300
00:10:12,759 --> 00:10:14,376
- That's not awesome.
It's way too soon.
301
00:10:14,454 --> 00:10:16,489
They've only been together,
like, what, 11 months?
302
00:10:16,579 --> 00:10:18,029
- Well, that's twice as long
as you and peter were together
303
00:10:18,104 --> 00:10:19,521
before you guys
got engaged, so...
304
00:10:19,594 --> 00:10:20,911
come on, jess,
look at her.
305
00:10:20,982 --> 00:10:22,449
Have you ever seen her this
comfortable with anybody before?
306
00:10:22,524 --> 00:10:25,810
- I don't think she's
particularly comfortable.
307
00:10:25,933 --> 00:10:27,417
- [Grunting goofily]
308
00:10:27,492 --> 00:10:28,692
[Laughs]
309
00:10:28,761 --> 00:10:31,780
[Continues grunting]
310
00:10:31,896 --> 00:10:33,263
- Also, I don't want
to burst your bubble,
311
00:10:33,335 --> 00:10:35,603
But you're not exactly the best
judge of character, so...
312
00:10:35,700 --> 00:10:37,267
- Okay,
and your girlfriend Miami Inc.
313
00:10:37,344 --> 00:10:38,995
seems like a real keeper.
314
00:10:39,074 --> 00:10:40,508
- You know what?
Just stay out of it, okay?
315
00:10:40,582 --> 00:10:42,800
- Yeah, well, just--guess what?
F.Y.I., your apologies suck.
316
00:10:42,896 --> 00:10:44,396
- Okay, well,
I take it back, then.
317
00:10:44,471 --> 00:10:45,922
I'm not sorry.
- You can't take it back.
318
00:10:45,996 --> 00:10:48,514
- I'm glad I punched him
in the face.
319
00:10:50,005 --> 00:10:51,572
[Gunshots on video game]
- Rav!
320
00:10:51,650 --> 00:10:52,950
I'm gonna die,
here, buddy!
321
00:10:53,020 --> 00:10:54,070
Rav!
322
00:10:54,134 --> 00:10:55,417
And I'm dead.
- Sorry, dude.
323
00:10:55,488 --> 00:10:56,404
I got tied up.
324
00:10:56,464 --> 00:10:57,598
- Doing what?
325
00:10:57,664 --> 00:10:59,047
- Hey, why don't you relax?
326
00:10:59,120 --> 00:11:00,086
- Why don't you relax?
327
00:11:00,148 --> 00:11:01,248
Do you know
how hard it is to relax
328
00:11:01,313 --> 00:11:02,797
when you have, like,
perfume and lipstick
329
00:11:02,872 --> 00:11:04,273
and lady cream
on your desk?
330
00:11:04,345 --> 00:11:06,113
- Then why don't you
get out of your office?
331
00:11:06,196 --> 00:11:07,246
- I'm sorry.
I don't feel like taking part
332
00:11:07,309 --> 00:11:08,843
in a Steel Magnolias
marathon.
333
00:11:08,921 --> 00:11:10,238
I guess I'm just
not interested in hearing
334
00:11:10,308 --> 00:11:11,708
Sally Fields
tell a bunch of jokes.
335
00:11:11,781 --> 00:11:12,832
- It's not a comedy, okay?
336
00:11:12,895 --> 00:11:14,546
It's about
the fragility of life.
337
00:11:14,625 --> 00:11:15,658
Can I tell you something?
338
00:11:15,722 --> 00:11:17,322
I lived with Jess and Len
senior year,
339
00:11:17,400 --> 00:11:18,651
So I know
what kind of hell you're in.
340
00:11:18,720 --> 00:11:21,255
If you keep retreating,
it's only gonna get worse.
341
00:11:21,359 --> 00:11:24,160
You need to get out there
and fight for your girlfriend.
342
00:11:24,271 --> 00:11:26,756
Be a man.
Watch Steel Magnolias.
343
00:11:26,858 --> 00:11:29,960
- My colors
are blush and bashful, mama.
344
00:11:30,079 --> 00:11:31,847
- Why would Shelby
go and get pregnant
345
00:11:31,929 --> 00:11:33,630
when she knew her kidneys
couldn't handle it?
346
00:11:33,711 --> 00:11:35,445
- Well, she said she'd rather
have 30 minutes of wonderful
347
00:11:35,528 --> 00:11:36,895
than a whole lifetime
of nothing.
348
00:11:36,967 --> 00:11:38,468
- Well, yeah, but I mean,
349
00:11:38,543 --> 00:11:40,094
if she knew
how it would turn out,
350
00:11:40,171 --> 00:11:41,321
would she do it again?
351
00:11:41,387 --> 00:11:42,704
- Yeah, probably.
- No. What?
352
00:11:42,775 --> 00:11:45,410
Lennon, we can't ask her,
'cause she's dead.
353
00:11:45,516 --> 00:11:47,200
- [Laughs]
Okay.
354
00:11:47,281 --> 00:11:48,347
- No, listen to me.
355
00:11:48,394 --> 00:11:51,379
You cannot rush things
like babies and...
356
00:11:51,496 --> 00:11:52,512
marriage.
357
00:11:52,575 --> 00:11:54,075
That's called
"pulling a Shelby."
358
00:11:54,152 --> 00:11:55,218
- What do you mean?
359
00:11:55,299 --> 00:11:57,050
You mean like,
"I need some juice, mama!"
360
00:11:57,132 --> 00:11:58,583
- Lenny, stop it! I'm serious!
[Laughing]
361
00:11:58,657 --> 00:12:00,424
- "Mama, get me some juice!"
- stop it!
362
00:12:00,490 --> 00:12:01,691
- [Laughs]
- Listen to me.
363
00:12:01,758 --> 00:12:03,742
Hey, I married a guy
before I really knew him,
364
00:12:03,831 --> 00:12:05,349
and look how
that turned out.
365
00:12:05,442 --> 00:12:06,892
I don't want that
happening to you.
366
00:12:06,967 --> 00:12:09,518
- [Laughs]
I won't pull a Shelby.
367
00:12:09,623 --> 00:12:11,273
You know I like
to take things slow.
368
00:12:11,353 --> 00:12:12,603
- Okay, then I don't need
to be worried?
369
00:12:12,672 --> 00:12:14,106
- About what?
370
00:12:14,179 --> 00:12:16,764
- I don't know--like, you
getting married anytime soon.
371
00:12:16,870 --> 00:12:19,772
- Oh, my god.
He just moved in. Jess.
372
00:12:19,885 --> 00:12:21,769
- Okay, good.
That's what I needed to hear.
373
00:12:21,856 --> 00:12:23,239
- Okay.
- Thank you, Shelby.
374
00:12:23,312 --> 00:12:24,996
- You're welcome.
"I need some juice!"
375
00:12:25,076 --> 00:12:27,210
- "M'lynn, do you have
any cookies in your purse?"
376
00:12:27,302 --> 00:12:28,436
- "No, Annelle,
juice is better."
377
00:12:28,503 --> 00:12:30,320
- What're we doing,
watching "Steely Mags"?
378
00:12:30,404 --> 00:12:32,472
Let me pull the wolverines chair
up real close.
379
00:12:32,564 --> 00:12:35,983
- Okay, you know we're watching
Steel Magnolias, right?
380
00:12:36,110 --> 00:12:38,578
- The 1989 film,
starring Julia Roberts
381
00:12:38,680 --> 00:12:40,047
in an oscar-nominated
performance,
382
00:12:40,119 --> 00:12:42,354
based on the 1987 play
by the same name?
383
00:12:42,449 --> 00:12:43,549
Yeah. I'm familiar.
384
00:12:43,614 --> 00:12:46,199
- Don't--
- Drink the juice.
385
00:12:46,304 --> 00:12:48,905
- Shelby, you need some juice.
You need some juice.
386
00:12:49,011 --> 00:12:52,847
- Wikipedia says it's based
on the author's dying sister.
387
00:12:52,985 --> 00:12:56,488
- We don't--
we don't talk during the film.
388
00:12:56,618 --> 00:12:58,001
- You need some juice.
389
00:12:58,057 --> 00:12:59,625
- Okay, you're not supposed
to give a diabetic juice.
390
00:12:59,702 --> 00:13:01,903
I had a roommate named Barry
who had full-blown 'betes,
391
00:13:01,998 --> 00:13:04,416
- And he--
- Shh!
392
00:13:04,516 --> 00:13:06,817
- How precious
is this wedding gonna get?
393
00:13:06,915 --> 00:13:08,449
- Hey, is that
Daryl Hannah from Splash?
394
00:13:08,525 --> 00:13:10,059
- It is. Nice.
395
00:13:10,136 --> 00:13:11,904
- You know, Joe, I'm surprised
you haven't seen this movie,
396
00:13:11,986 --> 00:13:13,520
considering
it's Lennon's favorite.
397
00:13:13,596 --> 00:13:14,680
- It's not
Lennon's favorite movie.
398
00:13:14,745 --> 00:13:16,095
Braveheais Lennon's
favorite movie.
399
00:13:16,167 --> 00:13:18,051
- [Scoffs] Lennon, tell him
what your favorite movie is.
400
00:13:18,137 --> 00:13:20,222
- Um, well, I have
a favorite movie with you,
401
00:13:20,313 --> 00:13:21,380
And I have
a favorite movie with him.
402
00:13:21,443 --> 00:13:22,660
- You can't
have two favorites.
403
00:13:22,745 --> 00:13:24,362
- My personal favorite
Brigadoon.
404
00:13:24,442 --> 00:13:26,042
- What? That's ridiculous!
- That's a musical or something?
405
00:13:26,121 --> 00:13:27,821
- You guys want snacks?
406
00:13:32,049 --> 00:13:34,601
- Hey. Hey.
I know what you're up to.
407
00:13:34,704 --> 00:13:36,522
- Hey, I'm just trying
to watch "Steely Mags."
408
00:13:36,606 --> 00:13:37,973
- No, no, I know
what you have planned,
409
00:13:38,045 --> 00:13:39,362
and you need
to just slow it down,
410
00:13:39,433 --> 00:13:41,684
because now is not
a good time for this.
411
00:13:41,780 --> 00:13:43,564
- Wait. Not a good time for who?
Not a good time for you?
412
00:13:43,648 --> 00:13:45,315
'cause the surprise
isn't for you--it's for Lennon.
413
00:13:45,395 --> 00:13:47,613
- No, I know Lennon, and she
doesn't want this right now.
414
00:13:47,709 --> 00:13:49,810
- I thought Steel Magnolias
was all about living life
415
00:13:49,919 --> 00:13:51,436
and how Shelby just wanted
30 minutes of wonderful inst--
416
00:13:51,511 --> 00:13:55,114
- And then she died, Joe.
She died.
417
00:13:55,246 --> 00:13:57,698
- [Sighs]
418
00:13:57,799 --> 00:13:59,383
Spoiler alert.
419
00:13:59,461 --> 00:14:01,846
- So, take me through
the flow of the evening.
420
00:14:01,946 --> 00:14:04,731
- So, it's a ding-dong,
"hello, can I take your coat?"
421
00:14:04,841 --> 00:14:06,558
That will be Joe.
- I man the drink station.
422
00:14:06,640 --> 00:14:07,690
- They pass by the apps,
423
00:14:07,754 --> 00:14:09,505
and they bring
their food over here.
424
00:14:09,587 --> 00:14:11,021
I don't like that.
- Okay.
425
00:14:11,094 --> 00:14:12,761
Let me throw this in the mix,
and tell me if I'm crazy.
426
00:14:12,825 --> 00:14:14,993
What if we were to do
hot apps over there,
427
00:14:15,087 --> 00:14:17,421
Cold apps...
- On the coffee table? Genius.
428
00:14:17,536 --> 00:14:18,753
- Okay.
429
00:14:18,822 --> 00:14:20,572
- But this couch for me,
really blocking the flow, right?
430
00:14:20,655 --> 00:14:23,073
- Well, there's a reason we had
it over here for eight years.
431
00:14:23,191 --> 00:14:24,625
Just...
432
00:14:24,698 --> 00:14:26,465
- All right, let's move it.
- We're gonna move it.
433
00:14:26,549 --> 00:14:28,216
- Moving it.
- All right.
434
00:14:28,297 --> 00:14:30,064
Give me a break--it's already
opening up the space.
435
00:14:30,146 --> 00:14:31,347
- I can breathe again.
436
00:14:31,415 --> 00:14:34,484
- So, it's a ding-dong,
hello, coats, drinks...
437
00:14:34,601 --> 00:14:36,768
- Mm-hmm.
- Hot apps, cold apps...
438
00:14:36,845 --> 00:14:38,930
- I just...
- What? Talk to me.
439
00:14:39,021 --> 00:14:40,205
- Something is off.
440
00:14:40,272 --> 00:14:44,125
[Sighs]
441
00:14:48,085 --> 00:14:51,854
- Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
442
00:14:52,477 --> 00:14:55,579
So they got you
running errands now, huh?
443
00:14:55,715 --> 00:14:57,499
[chuckles]
Next thing you know,
444
00:14:57,582 --> 00:14:59,199
your velvet painting
of sicily
445
00:14:59,278 --> 00:15:00,428
disappears
from the front hallway.
446
00:15:00,494 --> 00:15:01,494
- Nah.
447
00:15:01,557 --> 00:15:02,707
It's only
for another few days.
448
00:15:02,773 --> 00:15:04,607
- [Chuckles]
That's what I thought too,
449
00:15:04,692 --> 00:15:07,393
when my sister-in-law
came to "help" with the baby.
450
00:15:07,502 --> 00:15:08,635
- What happened?
451
00:15:08,701 --> 00:15:10,668
- I'll tell you
what didn't happen.
452
00:15:10,757 --> 00:15:13,575
I didn't have sex with two
sisters like I thought it would.
453
00:15:13,687 --> 00:15:16,121
You know what sisters
like to do together?
454
00:15:16,223 --> 00:15:19,592
Eat. You know what
they don't like to do?
455
00:15:19,717 --> 00:15:21,067
Exercise.
456
00:15:21,140 --> 00:15:22,740
- How long did she stay?
457
00:15:22,819 --> 00:15:25,003
- We've gone through
three cats,
458
00:15:25,098 --> 00:15:28,250
And she's still here.
459
00:15:31,333 --> 00:15:33,968
- Lennon,
that's my wolverines chair.
460
00:15:34,075 --> 00:15:35,475
What, did jessica
not want it?
461
00:15:35,548 --> 00:15:38,334
- Well, it's just not working
in here anymore, so, uh...
462
00:15:38,444 --> 00:15:40,462
- Yeah, well, a lot of things
aren't working in here anymore.
463
00:15:40,551 --> 00:15:41,868
- You know what?
I--
464
00:15:41,939 --> 00:15:42,856
I don't understand
why you're getting so upset.
465
00:15:42,933 --> 00:15:44,066
It's just a chair.
466
00:15:44,132 --> 00:15:45,265
- No, no, no,
it's not just a chair.
467
00:15:45,332 --> 00:15:46,815
It's about you and me,
and--and--
468
00:15:46,891 --> 00:15:48,341
And we were
supposed to do scoops
469
00:15:48,415 --> 00:15:50,383
And--and chili,
and that was the plan.
470
00:15:50,454 --> 00:15:52,655
And--and what is that couch
even doing over there?
471
00:15:52,767 --> 00:15:54,768
And I don't want her to be here
for even one cat's life,
472
00:15:54,858 --> 00:15:55,874
Much less
three cats' lives.
473
00:15:55,937 --> 00:15:57,504
- What cat?
We don't have a cat.
474
00:15:57,581 --> 00:15:59,782
- But she's just
ruining everything, lennon.
475
00:15:59,894 --> 00:16:01,078
- Okay, well,
what would you like me to do?
476
00:16:01,145 --> 00:16:02,512
Kick her out on the street?
She is my best friend.
477
00:16:02,584 --> 00:16:03,584
- No, of course not.
478
00:16:03,646 --> 00:16:05,097
- Okay, please
keep your voice down,
479
00:16:05,171 --> 00:16:06,321
because she is
in the other room.
480
00:16:06,387 --> 00:16:07,638
- Oh, I'm sorry,
I wouldn't want to wake up
481
00:16:07,707 --> 00:16:09,208
the princess
from her midday nap.
482
00:16:09,283 --> 00:16:10,233
Wouldn't that be terrible,
483
00:16:10,311 --> 00:16:12,462
if she was woken up
from sleeping
484
00:16:12,555 --> 00:16:14,139
in the middle of the afternoon!
- You know what? I am sorry...
485
00:16:14,200 --> 00:16:15,717
that for once
in our entire relationship,
486
00:16:15,794 --> 00:16:18,979
I can't put you first without
you having a big old breakdown!
487
00:16:19,117 --> 00:16:20,267
- I don't--I don't--
that's like big bird.
488
00:16:20,334 --> 00:16:21,284
I don't do that!
489
00:16:21,345 --> 00:16:22,946
- That is just
what you just did!
490
00:16:23,024 --> 00:16:24,658
- That's ridiculous!
That's not how I act!
491
00:16:24,737 --> 00:16:26,371
And you know what?
If you love each other so much,
492
00:16:26,451 --> 00:16:28,368
Why don't you just
move to the berkshires,
493
00:16:28,455 --> 00:16:29,905
and open up
a lesbian candle shop!
494
00:16:29,963 --> 00:16:31,747
- That is a great idea!
I love vanilla...
495
00:16:31,830 --> 00:16:34,665
and lesbians!
[Door slams]
496
00:16:34,777 --> 00:16:36,945
- Len, are you okay?
497
00:16:37,039 --> 00:16:38,756
Listen, you don't have to do
that stuff for me.
498
00:16:38,854 --> 00:16:40,955
- Okay, yeah, but I do have to
do that stuff for you,
499
00:16:41,048 --> 00:16:42,548
'cause otherwise,
you'll just go back to peter,
500
00:16:42,623 --> 00:16:43,974
And we'll be right back
where we started.
501
00:16:44,045 --> 00:16:46,296
- What are you talking about?
Len, my marriage is over.
502
00:16:46,376 --> 00:16:47,743
You actually think
I would do that?
503
00:16:47,815 --> 00:16:48,998
- You went back to him
504
00:16:49,049 --> 00:16:50,683
the first time he cheated
on you, so, yeah.
505
00:16:50,762 --> 00:16:52,012
- O-okay, you know what?
506
00:16:52,064 --> 00:16:54,048
If you had something
to say about that,
507
00:16:54,120 --> 00:16:55,604
you should have spoken up.
- Oh, why?
508
00:16:55,662 --> 00:16:59,164
So you could ignore me for three
years like you did to Rav?
509
00:16:59,295 --> 00:17:01,763
See what you made me do?
- I didn't do anything, Len.
510
00:17:01,864 --> 00:17:04,165
- I cannot make both of you
happy, so you know what?
511
00:17:04,263 --> 00:17:05,713
Screw lazy Sunday!
512
00:17:05,771 --> 00:17:07,188
- What? No!
513
00:17:07,261 --> 00:17:09,813
- Yeah, it's over, and you can
both go shove these...
514
00:17:09,916 --> 00:17:11,981
jammers right up
your buttholes!
515
00:17:13,300 --> 00:17:15,898
I always said Joe was a ticking time bomb.
516
00:17:16,215 --> 00:17:18,316
Not surprised.
- Hey, who'd you say that to?
517
00:17:18,408 --> 00:17:20,803
- Myself.
Nobody listens to me.
518
00:17:22,228 --> 00:17:25,280
- What are you doing?
What are you so afraid of--
519
00:17:25,381 --> 00:17:27,182
that on top of everything you
lost, you're gonna lose len too?
520
00:17:27,266 --> 00:17:29,417
- No.
521
00:17:32,680 --> 00:17:35,699
[Sniffles]
- Okay.
522
00:17:35,815 --> 00:17:37,833
All right.
523
00:17:42,326 --> 00:17:44,210
You're never
gonna lose her.
524
00:17:44,295 --> 00:17:47,614
You guys have been obsessed with
each other since freshman year,
525
00:17:47,722 --> 00:17:49,456
when you realized you both
had hugh grant's haircut
526
00:17:49,538 --> 00:17:51,122
from
Four Weddings and a Funeral.
527
00:17:51,200 --> 00:17:53,752
- [Laughs]
528
00:17:53,856 --> 00:17:55,656
- But she found somebody
that makes her really happy,
529
00:17:55,741 --> 00:18:00,428
so you got to make room
for him now.
530
00:18:00,589 --> 00:18:02,357
And you got other people here
for you besides Len,
531
00:18:02,440 --> 00:18:04,191
Just so you know.
532
00:18:04,273 --> 00:18:05,356
- Like who?
533
00:18:05,421 --> 00:18:07,338
- All right,
get off my keg.
534
00:18:07,425 --> 00:18:10,093
- Like you, I know.
I have you.
535
00:18:10,200 --> 00:18:11,167
- Yeah.
536
00:18:11,228 --> 00:18:12,545
- [Snorts]
537
00:18:12,617 --> 00:18:15,485
[Sighs]
538
00:18:15,598 --> 00:18:17,332
Len?
539
00:18:17,414 --> 00:18:19,132
Len, I'm--I'm sorry.
540
00:18:19,230 --> 00:18:22,182
I just--I got afraid,
and I was being so--okay.
541
00:18:22,297 --> 00:18:23,581
What's happening here?
542
00:18:23,650 --> 00:18:25,050
- I'm making ground chuck
out of lamb shanks.
543
00:18:25,124 --> 00:18:26,040
- Yeah, no,
I can see that.
544
00:18:26,101 --> 00:18:27,718
Can we ca--
can we calm down?
545
00:18:27,796 --> 00:18:29,931
- No, because I-I have
to make Joe's monster chili,
546
00:18:30,023 --> 00:18:31,957
Because we had a plan,
and it wasn't fair,
547
00:18:32,046 --> 00:18:33,479
And then I deflated
his wolverines chair,
548
00:18:33,553 --> 00:18:35,254
And now he's never gonna
forgive me.
549
00:18:35,335 --> 00:18:36,802
So come on!
Get on the train!
550
00:18:36,876 --> 00:18:38,911
- All right, Len? Can we drop--
can we drop the meat?
551
00:18:39,001 --> 00:18:40,719
We got to drop that meat.
552
00:18:40,800 --> 00:18:42,167
You listen to me.
553
00:18:42,239 --> 00:18:44,174
I did not spend the last three
years of a loveless marriage
554
00:18:44,279 --> 00:18:45,395
Watching only
The Barefoot Contessa
555
00:18:45,461 --> 00:18:47,295
to be defeated
by Joe's monster chili.
556
00:18:47,379 --> 00:18:48,746
So we can do this.
557
00:18:48,819 --> 00:18:50,686
- I don't know.
- Yes, you do.
558
00:18:50,772 --> 00:18:52,122
Now, you go
wash your hands.
559
00:18:52,193 --> 00:18:55,696
Okay, no, leave the meat.
Honey, leave the meat.
560
00:18:55,826 --> 00:18:57,160
- Okay,
scoops looking good.
561
00:18:57,230 --> 00:18:58,764
Q, pick up the pace
on the wieners.
562
00:18:58,824 --> 00:19:00,992
Jess, ETA
on the wolverines chair.
563
00:19:01,103 --> 00:19:02,803
- Are you guys making
my monster chili?
564
00:19:02,884 --> 00:19:04,135
Are these scoops?
565
00:19:04,203 --> 00:19:06,054
- Yeah, well, they were
all out at the store, so we--
566
00:19:06,140 --> 00:19:07,924
- Lennon, homemade scoops?
567
00:19:08,007 --> 00:19:09,908
This is the nicest thing
anybody's ever done for me.
568
00:19:09,994 --> 00:19:11,762
- Babe, I'm sorry. I--
569
00:19:11,845 --> 00:19:14,030
I think I just got carried away
taking care of Jess,
570
00:19:14,124 --> 00:19:15,608
and I forgot
all about our stuff.
571
00:19:15,683 --> 00:19:18,485
- No, Len, I don't want you
to stop taking care of people.
572
00:19:18,595 --> 00:19:20,496
It's one of the things
I love the most about you.
573
00:19:20,583 --> 00:19:23,001
I'm just gonna have to learn
how to share you.
574
00:19:23,101 --> 00:19:25,386
[Chair squeaks]
575
00:19:25,500 --> 00:19:27,351
- [Panting]
576
00:19:27,436 --> 00:19:29,570
- Hey, just so you know,
we have a pump for that.
577
00:19:29,664 --> 00:19:31,798
- [Wheezing]
578
00:19:31,891 --> 00:19:34,576
[Man speaking indistinctly
on television]
579
00:19:34,683 --> 00:19:37,034
- Right there.
580
00:19:37,800 --> 00:19:41,436
- Okay, so, Q, I'm thinking
Joe's gonna propose at halftime,
581
00:19:41,569 --> 00:19:44,104
so, when Len says, "yes,"
I give you the signal,
582
00:19:44,207 --> 00:19:46,392
and that's when you shoot off
the confetti gun, okay?
583
00:19:46,486 --> 00:19:49,588
- And then tomorrow, you gonna
say "yes" to some new pants.
584
00:19:49,707 --> 00:19:51,024
- [Scoffs]
Okay.
585
00:19:51,095 --> 00:19:52,495
- Nuh-uh!
Fighting weight.
586
00:19:52,568 --> 00:19:54,302
- Can I just have a half--
- No!
587
00:19:54,384 --> 00:19:56,702
No, don't you do it.
588
00:19:56,800 --> 00:19:59,585
[Indistinct chatter]
589
00:19:59,695 --> 00:20:00,962
- If everybody's, uh--
590
00:20:01,031 --> 00:20:03,466
If everybody's had
their fill of monster chili,
591
00:20:03,584 --> 00:20:04,851
I have a bit
of an announcement to make,
592
00:20:04,920 --> 00:20:06,671
If that's okay.
593
00:20:06,755 --> 00:20:09,706
We all know how much
Lennon does for everybody.
594
00:20:09,821 --> 00:20:13,157
I mean, Jess, she's helping out
a ton right now,
595
00:20:13,282 --> 00:20:15,216
Given that you're
barely holding it together.
596
00:20:15,304 --> 00:20:17,788
- I'll be okay, guys.
So...
597
00:20:17,891 --> 00:20:21,210
I'm wearing a bra.
[Chuckles]
598
00:20:21,334 --> 00:20:23,318
- And for some reason,
she loves me,
599
00:20:23,408 --> 00:20:25,042
which is just...
600
00:20:25,121 --> 00:20:29,091
pretty much the most amazing
thing that's ever happened.
601
00:20:29,232 --> 00:20:33,285
Lennon Elizabeth walker...
602
00:20:35,554 --> 00:20:38,206
will you...
603
00:20:38,313 --> 00:20:40,698
go to the William Wallace
memorial with me in Scotland?
604
00:20:40,797 --> 00:20:43,332
- You shut your mouth.
Are you serious?
605
00:20:43,436 --> 00:20:45,403
"Are you ready for a war?"
- "Every man dies!"
606
00:20:45,475 --> 00:20:47,876
Both: "But not every man
truly lives!"
607
00:20:47,976 --> 00:20:49,743
- Is that it?
Is--is that it?
608
00:20:49,826 --> 00:20:50,876
- What do you mean
"is that it?"
609
00:20:50,939 --> 00:20:51,890
We're going
to Scotland to see
610
00:20:51,951 --> 00:20:53,352
where Mel Gibson
got his guts torn out!
611
00:20:53,424 --> 00:20:54,674
- Yeah!
612
00:20:54,744 --> 00:20:56,294
- Just need to see you
in the bathroom. Excuse me.
613
00:20:56,371 --> 00:20:58,756
- Oh, my god, that's the grip
of an Orangutan!
614
00:20:58,855 --> 00:21:00,756
- "You tell the sons
and daughters of Scotland
615
00:21:00,842 --> 00:21:02,060
that they are free."
616
00:21:02,128 --> 00:21:04,913
- Okay.
617
00:21:05,024 --> 00:21:06,457
Are you gonna
do it in Scotland?
618
00:21:06,531 --> 00:21:08,198
- Do what?
- Propose!
619
00:21:08,278 --> 00:21:09,579
- What are you
talking about?
620
00:21:09,649 --> 00:21:11,233
- Hey, what is
going on in here?
621
00:21:11,311 --> 00:21:14,614
- I have no idea.
- Stop.
622
00:21:14,738 --> 00:21:16,672
Okay, are you guys
gonna get married or what?
623
00:21:16,760 --> 00:21:19,712
- Married?
- Yeah. Of course.
624
00:21:19,826 --> 00:21:21,627
- Um, really?
625
00:21:21,711 --> 00:21:24,379
- Yeah, I mean,
not right now, but...
626
00:21:24,485 --> 00:21:26,520
I want to be
with you forever.
627
00:21:26,610 --> 00:21:29,362
- I want to be
with you forever.
628
00:21:29,472 --> 00:21:32,757
- O-okay, but, guys, guys, hi.
What--what about the ring?
629
00:21:32,882 --> 00:21:35,066
- What ring
are you talking about?
630
00:21:35,161 --> 00:21:36,928
- Oh, okay, when I was looking
through your stuff--
631
00:21:37,010 --> 00:21:39,045
- You were looking
through my stuff?
632
00:21:39,135 --> 00:21:40,919
- That's not appropriate.
- Relax, relax.
633
00:21:40,985 --> 00:21:45,021
I found an ugly-ass ring--
a snake swallowing a heart?
634
00:21:45,166 --> 00:21:48,067
- Oh, wait--that ring?
- Yes.
635
00:21:48,181 --> 00:21:50,165
- I--yeah, well--
636
00:21:50,255 --> 00:21:52,673
When Lennon and I went on our
first date to medieval times--
637
00:21:52,773 --> 00:21:54,440
- Oh, my god,
it was so awesome.
638
00:21:54,521 --> 00:21:56,071
A live Falcon landed
right on my arm.
639
00:21:56,148 --> 00:21:58,916
- Pow. Cutest little hood
you've ever seen.
640
00:21:59,026 --> 00:22:00,827
- No, you two really are
perfect for each other. Go on.
641
00:22:00,911 --> 00:22:02,945
- Anyway, when you were
getting your third turkey leg,
642
00:22:03,035 --> 00:22:05,453
I went and bought this ring
so that I could...
643
00:22:05,554 --> 00:22:10,241
have something to remember
our first date by.
644
00:22:10,402 --> 00:22:13,621
- Really?
645
00:22:13,761 --> 00:22:15,178
- Yeah.
646
00:22:15,252 --> 00:22:17,836
- That's really sweet.
647
00:22:17,940 --> 00:22:19,158
- Oh, man.
648
00:22:19,243 --> 00:22:21,077
- I'm sorry. I just--it's--
- what?
649
00:22:21,162 --> 00:22:23,530
- I'm still here.
I'm so sorry.
650
00:22:23,612 --> 00:22:25,446
- [Laughs]
651
00:22:25,531 --> 00:22:26,647
- Come on.
- Okay.
652
00:22:26,696 --> 00:22:28,480
I thought you'd never ask.
653
00:22:28,563 --> 00:22:30,348
- We didn't.
We really didn't.
654
00:22:30,431 --> 00:22:33,049
- I love you, Joe.
655
00:22:33,156 --> 00:22:35,774
- All right.
- I love you guys!
656
00:22:39,596 --> 00:22:41,180
- So, Len...
- Yeah?
657
00:22:41,275 --> 00:22:42,558
- I know I'm not
supposed to get involved,
658
00:22:42,646 --> 00:22:44,229
but if that was the ring
he was gonna propose with,
659
00:22:44,307 --> 00:22:45,857
I should've
said something, right?
660
00:22:45,935 --> 00:22:48,970
- Oh, yeah, you should've come
to me immediately.
661
00:22:49,070 --> 00:22:50,937
- Even though...
662
00:22:51,040 --> 00:22:52,824
she has all this weaponry
available to her,
663
00:22:52,925 --> 00:22:54,875
she still insists
on using...
664
00:22:54,981 --> 00:22:55,930
a crossbow!
- [screams]
665
00:22:56,009 --> 00:22:57,125
- Oh, my god!
[Laughs]
666
00:22:57,208 --> 00:22:58,876
- Oh, my god!
What are you doing in here?
667
00:22:58,956 --> 00:23:01,901
- Joe!
I'm gonna gouge out my eyes!
668
00:23:02,103 --> 00:23:04,167
- What the...
- Joe!
669
00:23:04,346 --> 00:23:05,819
Get out of here!
670
00:23:05,982 --> 00:23:08,257
It's worse from behind!
It's worse from behind!
671
00:23:08,377 --> 00:23:13,119
Sync by honeybunny
Corrections by MaxiZephyr www.addic7ed.com
672
00:23:13,169 --> 00:23:17,719
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
51130
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