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[♪♪♪]
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[SIGHS] [SIGHS]
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Oh...
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CHILDREN [SCREAMING]: Fran!
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MAXWELL: Niles!
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Was it as good for you as it was for me?
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Actually, Niles, I was faking it. Hm.
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Hi, Fran.
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Oh, hi, sweetie.
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See some of the kids are going to the Hamptons for the weekend.
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Oh, great.
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Will there be boys there?
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Um, maybe a few.
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Fun. Parents?
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Ah, who cares?
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They'll just get in the way anyway.
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[BOTH CHUCKLE]
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Go, have a blast.
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We don't even have to tell your father.
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Really?
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Oh, sure. And when I'm fired, and you're in the convent,
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we'll write each other letters...
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[SNAPS] ...and laugh about this.
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But, Maxwell,
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how can you say no to working with Philipe?
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He's an avant-garde genius.
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Guilty as charged.
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And I've put a new twist on the tragedy.
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We follow Romeo and Juliet to heaven
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and have a happy ending.
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You're rewriting one of the greatest love stories of all time?
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We're adding a few scenes.
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But we're taking out others.
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[SCOFFS]
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Which ones?
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The ones that don't work.
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Well, I'm sorry, Philipe,
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but we British have a thing about mutilating Shakespeare.
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The Queen comes and hits you with her purse.
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But I bet you have a big name to star.
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I'm looking for an unknown.
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A fresh face with a unique voice.
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FRAN: It's in the medicine chest!
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Between the corn pads and the Monistat 7!
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I've found my Juliet!
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What?
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[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]
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♪♪ She was working In a bridal shop ♪♪
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♪♪ In Flushing, Queens ♪♪
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♪♪ Till her boyfriend Kicked her out ♪♪
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♪♪In one of Those crushing scenes ♪♪
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♪♪ What was she to do? Where was she to go? ♪♪
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♪♪ She was out on her fanny ♪♪
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♪♪ So over the bridge From Flushing ♪♪
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♪♪ To the Sheffields' door ♪♪
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♪♪ She was there To sell makeup ♪♪
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♪♪ But the father saw more ♪♪
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♪♪ She had style She had flair ♪♪
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♪♪ She was there ♪♪
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♪♪ That's how she became The nanny ♪♪
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♪♪ Who would have guessed that The girl we've described
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♪♪ Was just exactly What the doctor prescribed? ♪♪
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♪♪ Now the father Finds her beguiling ♪♪
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♪♪ Watch out, C.C. ♪♪
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♪♪ And the kids Are actually smiling ♪♪
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♪♪ Such joie de vivre ♪♪
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♪♪ She's the lady in red ♪♪
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♪♪ When everybody else Is wearing tan ♪♪
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♪♪ The flashy girl From Flushing ♪♪
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♪♪ The nanny named Fran ♪♪
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Can you imagine anything
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more ridiculous than me doing Shakespeare?
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Well, yes. People paying to see it.
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[LAUGHS]
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Hah-ha.
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I'll have you know, that in high school,
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I played the Reverend Mother inThe Sound of Music.
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I put a low, scooped neck into my nun's habit,
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and those hills were alive.
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[SNAPS] [MAXWELL CHUCKLES]
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We didThe Sound of Music.
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I played the Baroness.
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It was an all-boys school.
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Thank God I didn't play the guitar.
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I would have been Maria.
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Fran, you can't be in the play.
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Yeah, who would do our laundry?
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Clean our room?
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Wait on us hand and foot?
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Well, the same person that always does.
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Niles. Hm.
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Besides, if I do it,
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it would only be for a couple of weeks.
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Actually, I could rehearse while the kids are at school.
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I think not.
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Why think you not?
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I could use a life outside of this house.
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Me too.
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Which is why you should let me go to the Hamptons.
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Uh, nice try.
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Forget it.
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Miss Fine, taking care of the children
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is a full-time job.
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Oh, and I suppose it was my idea to have three?
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What you do in your spare time is entirely your own affair.
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I'm simply trying to protect you
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from having an embarrassing theatrical experience.
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We know what that's like, don't we, sir?
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You know, if some people aren't a little more supportive,
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I might omit them from my Oscar speech.
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Tony, Miss Fine. You'd win a Tony, not an Oscar.
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Actually, for an off-Broadway performance,
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Miss Fine would win the Obie.
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She's not going to win anything.
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Well, thank you for that vote of confidence.
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That's it, I'm playing Juliet.
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And nothing is going to stop me.
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And I'm going to the Hamptons--
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Sit down, Margaret.
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Okay.
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Okay, Niles, will you play Romeo?
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Isn't he too old?
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Well, actually, Juliet's supposed to be my age,
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so it's not like Fran's...
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not perfect for the role.
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Mm.
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I warn you, my acting prowess may blow you off the stage.
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They're still talking about my Baroness.
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I can't stop thinking about it,
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and I didn't even see it.
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And I spent my summers in Stratford-upon-Avon.
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I spent my summers selling Avon.
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Oh, she doth teach the torches to burn bright.
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It seems she hangs upon the cheek of night. Niles.
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Niles... What?
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Don't I come in here somewhere?
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Anon. Anon.
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Beauty too rich for youth but a--
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All right. Back off, Baroness.
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And by the way,
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you're supposed to dust the scenery,
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not chew it.
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Well, pity. Show me how it's done, Mistress Fine.
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Well, I will if you'll just "shut-y uppeth."
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All for a falconer's voice
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to lure this tasseled Gentile back again.
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It's gentle, not Gentile.
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How the hell should I know?
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Did I look down his tights?
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I still can't understand
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why Philipe would hire Miss Fine to play Juliet?
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Oh, please.
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Only an idiot would hire her to do anything...
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In the theater.
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Oh, oh, Mr. Sheffield, um,
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if you've got a minute, I could use your help.
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That's the understatement of the century.
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Meanwhile, if we put an apple in his mouth,
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we can have a luau. Hm.
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Here, let me see.
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Oh, I just love this play.
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More torches here.
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Ah, sirrah, by my fay, it waxes late.
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See? That's exactly what I'm talking about.
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Who the hell is Fay? And why is she waxing during a party?
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[LAUGHS] Good luck.
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Shall I play Romeo to your Juliet?
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Four, three, two...
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What took you so long?
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All right. So now we're star-crossed lovers.
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Uh, let's get some physical realism into this, shall we?
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Oh, Mr. Sheffield.
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No, no, I mean,
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I'm gonna put you on your balcony.
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Oh. Okay.
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All right.
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Now, Juliet is dreaming of her Romeo.
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Right. And she says...
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[SIGHS]
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Why me?
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O, speak again, bright angel.
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Oh, Romeo, Romeo...
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Yes, now, uh, maybe we could have it a little more lilting.
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Just a bit more melodic.
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Oh, sure, sure, sure. Melodic. [CLEARS THROAT]
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[SINGSONG] Oh, Romeo. Romeo.
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Yeah. Just a little too melodic, I think.
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Uh, let me show you.
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Okay, sure.
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He's gonna show us.
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Ahem. All right.
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Oh, Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou, Romeo?
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Deny thy father and refuse thy name.
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Wow. You British guys really know how to play women.
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Uh...
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[CHUCKLES]
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We, uh-- We did this play in college.
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Oh. You must have been the perfect Romeo.
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No, I was Friar Lawrence, actually.
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That's the problem going to school with Jeremy Irons.
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All right, uh... let's go on.
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Okay.
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Romeo, doth thy name and...
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take all of me.
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I take thee at thy word.
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Call me but love, and I'll be new baptized.
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You know, if I were directing this,
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I'd go in a whole different direction.
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Good night, good night.
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Parting is such sweet sorrow.
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Sleep dwell in thine eyes, peace in thy breast.
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Oh, would I were sleep and peace, so sweet to rest...
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You know, because this lovey-dovey stuff has just been done to death.
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You know?
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Much better.
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Yeah, I...
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I think I'm starting to get the hang of it now.
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Of course, I'm gonna need a lot of coaching.
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Hah-hah!
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Hah-hah, hah-hah!
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[TRANSYLVANIAN ACCENT]: I'm Dracula.
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I'm going to suck out all your blood
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and bury you alive!
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You don't scare me.
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All right, fine. I'm the C.C. monster.
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And I'm gonna marry Dad
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and send you away to boarding school!
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[SCREAMS]
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MAXWELL: Children!
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Children. Children!
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Children! Be quiet!
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Oh.
233
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Jeez, Dad, you don't have to scream about it.
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Look, I've already sent you to bed five times.
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What are you doing still up?
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Well, I'm not tired.
237
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Well, maybe that has something to do
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with the pound of chocolate I told you not to eat.
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You know, I think it was
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the gallon of cola you told me not to drink.
241
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Mm. And what's your excuse?
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Well, you tucked me in wrong.
243
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Obviously.
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You got out.
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Now, go on. Off to bed, both of you.
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Just give me one good reason
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why I can't go to the Hamptons.
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I won't let you.
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Look, Margaret, you're much too young
250
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to go away for the weekend.
251
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By the time Juliet was my age,
252
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she had already gotten married,
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had sex and died.
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Well, n-now you see what happens
255
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when you don't listen to your father.
256
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Niles, I'm thinking of changing the childrens' bedtime.
257
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Oh, to when, sir?
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Right after school.
259
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I can't believe Miss Fine isn't back yet.
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I can't believe what's happened to my roast.
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It's starting to bear a strange resemblance
262
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to Hume Cronyn. Hm.
263
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I mean, how much rehearsal can one person need?
264
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Oh. Right.
265
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But still...
266
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Oh, hi, guys.
267
00:11:11,216 --> 00:11:14,000
Forsooth, am I pooped. Hm-hm.
268
00:11:14,330 --> 00:11:15,283
Dinner is coming right up.
269
00:11:15,316 --> 00:11:18,333
Oh, Niles, I already ate.
270
00:11:18,366 --> 00:11:20,000
You couldn't have called?
271
00:11:20,330 --> 00:11:21,333
Well... Never mind.
272
00:11:21,366 --> 00:11:22,450
Ruined anyway.
273
00:11:22,483 --> 00:11:24,216
Oh...
274
00:11:25,133 --> 00:11:26,483
Boy, is he moody.
275
00:11:27,160 --> 00:11:29,333
Well, you, uh, are rather late.
276
00:11:29,366 --> 00:11:31,383
What are you two, on the same cycle?
277
00:11:33,133 --> 00:11:34,233
What's the problem?
278
00:11:34,266 --> 00:11:37,660
Oh, you couldn't handle the kids?
279
00:11:37,100 --> 00:11:39,830
Oh, don't make me laugh.
280
00:11:39,116 --> 00:11:40,200
What, do you think the minute you leave,
281
00:11:40,233 --> 00:11:42,160
the entire house falls apart?
282
00:11:42,500 --> 00:11:43,266
Oh. Oh...
283
00:11:44,366 --> 00:11:45,466
No, don't go in there.
284
00:11:46,000 --> 00:11:47,116
Why not?
285
00:11:47,150 --> 00:11:48,166
Well, use the back stairs. They're closer.
286
00:11:48,200 --> 00:11:49,233
No, they're not. Yes, they are.
287
00:11:49,266 --> 00:11:51,183
Are not. Are so, I measured.
288
00:11:52,350 --> 00:11:54,000
Okay.
289
00:11:54,330 --> 00:11:55,333
Too slow. [GROANS]
290
00:11:58,500 --> 00:12:00,450
Oh, my God!
291
00:12:02,366 --> 00:12:04,830
Oh, this place looks worse
292
00:12:04,116 --> 00:12:06,250
than when my mother ransacked my bedroom
293
00:12:06,283 --> 00:12:09,100
looking for my dia...ry.
294
00:12:10,166 --> 00:12:12,660
Well, I was looking for my glasses.
295
00:12:12,100 --> 00:12:14,250
What did you have, a reading emergency?
296
00:12:14,283 --> 00:12:16,333
So, what were you doing all evening?
297
00:12:16,366 --> 00:12:18,660
I was at rehearsal.
298
00:12:18,100 --> 00:12:20,183
Hm. Well, I called. Rehearsal was over at 8.
299
00:12:20,216 --> 00:12:21,433
Well, we went out after.
300
00:12:21,466 --> 00:12:24,266
Ah... Who's "we"?
301
00:12:24,300 --> 00:12:28,366
Oh, you know, Romeo, Mercutio, Tybalt...
302
00:12:28,400 --> 00:12:29,483
The gang.
303
00:12:31,283 --> 00:12:34,660
Oh, I'm sorry. It was an accident.
304
00:12:35,233 --> 00:12:37,166
So was that.
305
00:12:37,200 --> 00:12:39,283
Boy, you leave the house for a couple hours,
306
00:12:39,316 --> 00:12:41,660
you come back, and it's a pigsty.
307
00:12:41,100 --> 00:12:42,483
Yeah, well, maybe if you had been here,
308
00:12:43,160 --> 00:12:45,500
your children wouldn't have been running amuck.
309
00:12:45,830 --> 00:12:47,300
Oh, so when they're sweet, adorable angels,
310
00:12:47,333 --> 00:12:49,450
they're your children. And when they're amuck, they're mine.
311
00:12:49,483 --> 00:12:52,100
Well, you are the nanny!
312
00:12:53,330 --> 00:12:55,160
And that's all you want me to be!
313
00:12:55,500 --> 00:12:57,433
Oh, good God. Now I'm getting one of my headaches.
314
00:12:58,416 --> 00:12:59,466
You know what I think?
315
00:13:00,000 --> 00:13:01,250
You are jealous because
316
00:13:01,283 --> 00:13:04,400
Philipe discovered something that was right under your nose.
317
00:13:04,433 --> 00:13:07,330
[SCOFFS] And what would that be exactly?
318
00:13:07,660 --> 00:13:10,166
My star quality.
319
00:13:10,200 --> 00:13:11,383
[GASPS] Hah!
320
00:13:11,416 --> 00:13:14,100
That's rather like discovering the atomic bomb.
321
00:13:14,133 --> 00:13:17,150
Sounds good in theory, but millions will suffer.
322
00:13:20,660 --> 00:13:22,366
Well, that's it. I'm going home to my mother!
323
00:13:22,400 --> 00:13:23,416
No, don't bother!
324
00:13:23,450 --> 00:13:25,166
I'm sleeping on the couch!
325
00:13:25,200 --> 00:13:26,283
Well...
326
00:13:28,250 --> 00:13:31,100
If we're splitting up, I get Niles!
327
00:13:31,133 --> 00:13:32,366
You couldn't afford him!
328
00:13:32,400 --> 00:13:35,000
Not on what you pay me!
329
00:13:39,000 --> 00:13:41,333
It's always the butler who suffers.
330
00:13:52,350 --> 00:13:53,366
[BLOWING]
331
00:13:53,400 --> 00:13:55,216
Hello.
332
00:13:55,250 --> 00:13:57,000
I'm working.
333
00:13:57,383 --> 00:13:58,466
Pretend I'm not here.
334
00:13:59,000 --> 00:14:00,433
That's how I get through the day.
335
00:14:04,100 --> 00:14:06,283
Oh, hello, Niles. NILES: Mm.
336
00:14:08,160 --> 00:14:09,383
Would you mind telling Mr. Sheffield
337
00:14:09,416 --> 00:14:11,466
that I'm going to rehearsal.
338
00:14:12,000 --> 00:14:13,660
Unless, of course,
339
00:14:13,100 --> 00:14:14,466
he'd like me to sit by his feet
340
00:14:15,000 --> 00:14:16,450
and peel him a grape.
341
00:14:18,000 --> 00:14:20,366
Well, that's my job, but you can wave the fan.
342
00:14:21,233 --> 00:14:24,000
Well, you can tell the nanny
343
00:14:24,330 --> 00:14:25,150
that I wouldn't dream
344
00:14:25,183 --> 00:14:27,333
of standing in the way of her aspirations,
345
00:14:27,366 --> 00:14:30,216
no matter how ludicrous they might be.
346
00:14:30,250 --> 00:14:34,183
Well, tell Mr. Sheffield that I am a grown woman,
347
00:14:34,216 --> 00:14:38,500
and can find fulfillment any way I choose.
348
00:14:38,830 --> 00:14:40,450
And that he is a doodyhead.
349
00:14:44,333 --> 00:14:47,350
To synopsize, sir, you are a doodyhead.
350
00:14:49,400 --> 00:14:51,383
So that's the one you choose to repeat.
351
00:14:51,416 --> 00:14:53,350
Translator's prerogative. Hm.
352
00:14:53,383 --> 00:14:54,416
I don't think I've ever met
353
00:14:54,450 --> 00:14:57,200
a more infuriating, irritating woman.
354
00:14:57,233 --> 00:14:59,100
Hello, hello!
355
00:15:02,330 --> 00:15:03,266
Think hard, sir.
356
00:15:04,433 --> 00:15:08,160
I just heard the most delicious news.
357
00:15:08,500 --> 00:15:09,333
Well, why don't you run, make a friend,
358
00:15:09,366 --> 00:15:11,116
and tell them all about it?
359
00:15:13,133 --> 00:15:15,116
Philipe needs a tax write-off,
360
00:15:15,150 --> 00:15:16,450
so he wants the show to flop.
361
00:15:16,483 --> 00:15:18,316
That's why he cast Nanny Fine.
362
00:15:18,350 --> 00:15:21,250
To guarantee a total disaster.
363
00:15:21,283 --> 00:15:23,166
I knew it! Ha-ha.
364
00:15:23,200 --> 00:15:24,266
Ha!
365
00:15:24,300 --> 00:15:27,133
I knew she had no talent.
366
00:15:27,166 --> 00:15:29,000
People will be walking out
367
00:15:29,330 --> 00:15:30,300
in the middle of her performance.
368
00:15:30,333 --> 00:15:32,283
Just like one of your dates.
369
00:15:35,450 --> 00:15:37,266
Well, we-- We can't tell her.
370
00:15:37,300 --> 00:15:38,350
She'll be crushed.
371
00:15:38,383 --> 00:15:40,160
I know.
372
00:15:40,433 --> 00:15:42,330
On the other hand, if--
373
00:15:42,660 --> 00:15:43,250
if I don't tell her,
374
00:15:43,283 --> 00:15:45,200
then she'll be publicly humiliated opening night.
375
00:15:45,233 --> 00:15:46,283
Ha, ha. I know.
376
00:15:46,316 --> 00:15:48,330
It's a win-win situation.
377
00:15:48,660 --> 00:15:49,133
[CLAPS]
378
00:15:55,433 --> 00:15:57,450
Maggie, if you wanna go to the Hamptons,
379
00:15:57,483 --> 00:15:59,116
you're gonna have to ask your father
380
00:15:59,150 --> 00:16:02,830
when he's watching Masterpiece Theatre.
381
00:16:02,116 --> 00:16:05,466
Yes. Just when his chin drops down to his chest,
382
00:16:06,000 --> 00:16:08,233
but before he starts snoring.
383
00:16:10,233 --> 00:16:12,483
Oh, sure. That's how I got my raise.
384
00:16:14,300 --> 00:16:16,160
We're doing the death scene!
385
00:16:16,500 --> 00:16:17,250
Places, everybody!
386
00:16:17,283 --> 00:16:18,400
Oh, Maggie, I gotta go.
387
00:16:18,433 --> 00:16:22,200
I gotta go plunge a knife into my heart.
388
00:16:22,233 --> 00:16:24,250
Oh boy. I'm sounding more like my mother every day.
389
00:16:25,316 --> 00:16:27,466
Oh, uh, Philipe, I gotta ask you a question.
390
00:16:28,000 --> 00:16:30,100
I don't know what my motivation is here.
391
00:16:30,133 --> 00:16:32,466
Why does Juliet kill herself?
392
00:16:33,000 --> 00:16:34,383
Because without her Romeo,
393
00:16:34,416 --> 00:16:37,160
she has no reason to live.
394
00:16:37,500 --> 00:16:38,100
Oh.
395
00:16:38,133 --> 00:16:40,250
Could tell this play was written by a man.
396
00:16:41,466 --> 00:16:43,433
I don't know how she got this part.
397
00:16:43,466 --> 00:16:45,416
Well, she must be sleeping with him.
398
00:16:45,450 --> 00:16:48,183
I slept with him. I got two lines.
399
00:16:48,216 --> 00:16:49,450
I got Romeo.
400
00:16:50,483 --> 00:16:53,000
[SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY]
401
00:16:53,330 --> 00:16:54,183
PHILIPE: Okay.
402
00:16:55,100 --> 00:16:56,150
Romeo?
403
00:16:56,466 --> 00:16:58,166
Drink your poison.
404
00:17:07,383 --> 00:17:09,250
Here's to my love.
405
00:17:11,150 --> 00:17:13,830
Thy drugs act quick.
406
00:17:13,416 --> 00:17:15,283
Thus with a kiss...
407
00:17:20,116 --> 00:17:21,333
I die.
408
00:17:21,366 --> 00:17:23,466
Now Juliet awakens.
409
00:17:25,500 --> 00:17:27,433
Oy, what a night!
410
00:17:31,000 --> 00:17:32,450
[SIGHS]
411
00:17:32,483 --> 00:17:36,483
Oh, Romeo, I see poison.
412
00:17:38,250 --> 00:17:41,660
I see poison
413
00:17:41,100 --> 00:17:44,830
hath been your timeless end.
414
00:17:44,116 --> 00:17:45,350
O churl.
415
00:17:51,433 --> 00:17:56,100
O happy dagger. This is thy sheath.
416
00:18:02,466 --> 00:18:05,383
There rust, and let me die.
417
00:18:05,416 --> 00:18:07,500
Ugh!
418
00:18:07,266 --> 00:18:09,200
[MOANING]
419
00:18:15,133 --> 00:18:16,316
Ooh. Ooh, ooh.
420
00:18:16,350 --> 00:18:18,283
Ooh. Hey, hey, ooh.
421
00:18:18,316 --> 00:18:19,316
Ow. Ow.
422
00:18:19,350 --> 00:18:21,166
[MOANING]
423
00:18:21,200 --> 00:18:23,830
[MOANS LIKE A MOTORBOAT]
424
00:18:24,216 --> 00:18:25,350
[MOANING AWKWARDLY]
425
00:18:31,466 --> 00:18:33,660
She's perfect.
426
00:18:33,100 --> 00:18:35,450
This play will die faster than she does.
427
00:18:36,183 --> 00:18:38,830
Oh. Oy.
428
00:18:41,500 --> 00:18:45,160
And now, Romeo and Juliet ascend to heaven.
429
00:18:48,333 --> 00:18:54,830
O my lord Romeo, I follow thee to heaven.
430
00:18:55,830 --> 00:18:56,366
Whoa!
431
00:18:58,150 --> 00:19:00,330
Whoa!
432
00:19:01,266 --> 00:19:04,150
Oy! Hey, you guys.
433
00:19:04,183 --> 00:19:06,830
Heaven art thataway.
434
00:19:06,433 --> 00:19:08,150
Oh!
435
00:19:08,183 --> 00:19:10,183
Oh...
436
00:19:11,100 --> 00:19:14,216
Wow! Hey.
437
00:19:14,250 --> 00:19:16,160
Oh, wow.
438
00:19:16,500 --> 00:19:19,366
Hey! Oh! Whoa!
439
00:19:20,150 --> 00:19:23,660
Oh, boy. Don't worry!
440
00:19:23,100 --> 00:19:25,283
I'm okay!
441
00:19:27,000 --> 00:19:28,150
Oh, but it looks like
442
00:19:28,183 --> 00:19:30,333
Romeo's got quite a wedgie going on up there.
443
00:19:31,366 --> 00:19:32,450
Oy!
444
00:19:34,300 --> 00:19:36,830
Hi.
445
00:19:38,200 --> 00:19:40,500
Hi. [CHUCKLES]
446
00:19:40,830 --> 00:19:42,333
Gee, you know, that harness really chafes.
447
00:19:42,366 --> 00:19:44,830
Boy, that Mary Martin
448
00:19:44,116 --> 00:19:46,166
must have had a hide like a rhino.
449
00:19:48,466 --> 00:19:51,183
Say, I know you.
450
00:19:51,216 --> 00:19:54,283
Well, I have done six Broadway shows
451
00:19:54,316 --> 00:19:56,350
and several national tours.
452
00:19:56,383 --> 00:19:59,250
No, no. It was a commercial.
453
00:19:59,283 --> 00:20:02,316
[GASPS] You're the Less Than Fresh girl.
454
00:20:05,100 --> 00:20:07,830
Oh. Mr. Sheffield.
455
00:20:07,116 --> 00:20:09,133
[ALL TALKING AT ONCE]
456
00:20:09,166 --> 00:20:10,366
No, please...
457
00:20:10,400 --> 00:20:11,416
No.
458
00:20:11,450 --> 00:20:13,166
People. People, please!
459
00:20:13,200 --> 00:20:15,233
FRAN: Come on, back off!
460
00:20:15,266 --> 00:20:17,333
Get away. Let the man breathe.
461
00:20:17,366 --> 00:20:19,183
Give him some air. Jeez.
462
00:20:19,216 --> 00:20:22,830
God, she's sleeping with everybody.
463
00:20:23,200 --> 00:20:24,216
[SIGHS] Watch. Next year,
464
00:20:24,250 --> 00:20:26,160
she'll have her own sitcom.
465
00:20:30,366 --> 00:20:33,450
Miss Fine, I-- I owe you an apology.
466
00:20:33,483 --> 00:20:35,450
You owe me an apology?
467
00:20:35,483 --> 00:20:37,400
Oh, yeah, right.
468
00:20:38,316 --> 00:20:40,330
I was selfish and thoughtless,
469
00:20:40,660 --> 00:20:42,830
and I'm extremely sorry.
470
00:20:42,116 --> 00:20:45,350
Oh, thank you, Mr. Sheffield.
471
00:20:45,383 --> 00:20:48,000
I'm sorry I called you a doodyhead.
472
00:20:48,483 --> 00:20:51,116
Apology accepted.
473
00:20:51,150 --> 00:20:52,366
You know, we shouldn't fight anymore.
474
00:20:52,400 --> 00:20:54,160
It's so hard on Niles.
475
00:20:54,500 --> 00:20:55,200
Yeah, I know.
476
00:20:56,166 --> 00:20:57,250
Listen, I, uh--
477
00:20:57,283 --> 00:20:59,166
I need to talk to you about this play.
478
00:20:59,200 --> 00:21:00,416
Maybe you'd better sit down.
479
00:21:00,450 --> 00:21:02,160
Oh, okay.
480
00:21:02,500 --> 00:21:03,300
I think I know what you're gonna say though.
481
00:21:03,333 --> 00:21:04,383
No, I doubt that.
482
00:21:04,416 --> 00:21:05,450
Yes, I do.
483
00:21:05,483 --> 00:21:07,366
You're gonna say that you and the kids
484
00:21:07,400 --> 00:21:09,233
really need me at home,
485
00:21:09,266 --> 00:21:11,283
and the mansion is a mess,
486
00:21:11,316 --> 00:21:13,300
and I don't belong in this play.
487
00:21:13,333 --> 00:21:16,466
And, well, you'd be absolutely right.
488
00:21:17,000 --> 00:21:18,133
I would?
489
00:21:18,166 --> 00:21:19,200
Yeah.
490
00:21:19,233 --> 00:21:20,383
Isn't that what you were gonna say?
491
00:21:20,416 --> 00:21:23,200
Oh, yes. Y-yes, that was exactly what--
492
00:21:23,233 --> 00:21:25,366
You read my mind.
493
00:21:25,400 --> 00:21:28,300
Well, clairvoyance runs in my family.
494
00:21:29,400 --> 00:21:30,416
I got an Aunt Paula
495
00:21:30,450 --> 00:21:33,660
that predicted Hurricane Andrew.
496
00:21:33,100 --> 00:21:34,316
For the first time in history,
497
00:21:34,350 --> 00:21:37,316
there wasn't a single Jew on Miami Beach.
498
00:21:37,350 --> 00:21:39,433
Ha.
499
00:21:39,466 --> 00:21:42,660
Come on. I'm gonna take you home.
500
00:21:42,100 --> 00:21:46,660
Hm. I just hope that Philipe isn't too disappointed.
501
00:21:46,100 --> 00:21:49,133
I mean, he really was counting on me.
502
00:21:49,166 --> 00:21:51,333
Well, Miss Fine, a talent like yours
503
00:21:51,366 --> 00:21:53,283
doesn't come along every day.
504
00:21:53,316 --> 00:21:55,000
True.
505
00:21:55,330 --> 00:21:57,116
But, you know, between you, me and the pillars,
506
00:21:57,150 --> 00:21:58,200
that Philipe
507
00:21:58,233 --> 00:22:02,000
is not the greatest director in the world.
508
00:22:02,330 --> 00:22:05,200
And if I'm gonna make my big Broadway debut,
509
00:22:05,233 --> 00:22:06,450
I should do it right.
510
00:22:06,483 --> 00:22:08,466
In one of your plays.
511
00:22:09,000 --> 00:22:10,433
Right. Um...
512
00:22:11,400 --> 00:22:13,116
[LAUGHS UNCOMFORTABLY] [CHUCKLES]
513
00:22:13,150 --> 00:22:15,183
[THEME OFMASTERPIECE THEATRE PLAYING ON TV]
514
00:22:18,660 --> 00:22:20,830
ANNOUNCER: Now, back to Masterpiece Theatre,
515
00:22:20,116 --> 00:22:23,483
Part 26, The Lords of Thisbury.
516
00:22:27,830 --> 00:22:28,116
[SNAPS QUIETLY]
517
00:22:28,150 --> 00:22:31,100
Psst, Maggie. Make your move.
518
00:22:33,660 --> 00:22:34,116
Hi, Dad.
519
00:22:34,316 --> 00:22:35,433
Mmm.
520
00:22:36,300 --> 00:22:37,483
Are you asleep?
521
00:22:38,160 --> 00:22:40,483
Uh, yeah. Mm...
522
00:22:41,160 --> 00:22:43,660
Are you gonna let me go to the Hamptons?
523
00:22:43,100 --> 00:22:46,160
Hmm. Sure, honey.
524
00:22:47,250 --> 00:22:50,233
When Miss Fine gets her next raise.
525
00:22:51,216 --> 00:22:53,333
Oh, ever since Alistair Cooke left,
526
00:22:53,366 --> 00:22:55,660
he doesn't sleep as well.
527
00:22:55,100 --> 00:22:57,160
[CHUCKLES] [MOCKING CHUCKLE]
528
00:22:57,500 --> 00:22:59,133
[♪♪♪]
529
00:23:08,316 --> 00:23:10,100
PHILIPE: Lunch!
530
00:23:10,316 --> 00:23:13,830
Oh. Good.
531
00:23:13,116 --> 00:23:14,416
Hello?
532
00:23:14,450 --> 00:23:16,333
People?
533
00:23:17,383 --> 00:23:19,366
Oh, people?
534
00:23:19,400 --> 00:23:21,450
Wherefore art everyone?
535
00:23:23,660 --> 00:23:24,183
Hello?
536
00:23:24,450 --> 00:23:26,830
Oy.
36358
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