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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:04:23,713 --> 00:04:24,546 What? 2 00:04:27,812 --> 00:04:28,645 Hi. 3 00:04:54,055 --> 00:04:54,888 Wait. 4 00:05:10,237 --> 00:05:12,276 What's your name? 5 00:05:12,276 --> 00:05:14,898 Why? 6 00:05:14,898 --> 00:05:17,395 Why do you wanna know my name? 7 00:05:17,395 --> 00:05:20,346 Just so I know what to call you. 8 00:05:20,346 --> 00:05:21,929 When... - When what? 9 00:05:24,075 --> 00:05:27,415 When we talk. That's what I mean. 10 00:05:27,415 --> 00:05:31,082 Is that what you wanna do? Talk. 11 00:05:32,361 --> 00:05:33,194 Maybe. 12 00:05:34,923 --> 00:05:36,448 - [Unknown] Talking might be nice. 13 00:05:37,445 --> 00:05:39,195 I mean, we could do other things. 14 00:05:40,325 --> 00:05:42,015 Your heart is beating quickly. 15 00:06:41,148 --> 00:06:41,981 Drink. 16 00:06:45,758 --> 00:06:47,591 Aren't you drinking? 17 00:06:48,486 --> 00:06:49,569 Yes. Later. 18 00:06:53,068 --> 00:06:56,047 Don't I get to order my own drink? 19 00:06:56,047 --> 00:06:56,880 No. 20 00:07:16,403 --> 00:07:17,236 Drink. 21 00:07:22,725 --> 00:07:24,085 I think I'd rather order my own drink. 22 00:07:25,115 --> 00:07:26,158 Drink it. 23 00:07:28,891 --> 00:07:31,088 I, I, I don't know you. 24 00:07:32,555 --> 00:07:33,635 What if... 25 00:07:33,635 --> 00:07:34,718 What if I? 26 00:07:36,902 --> 00:07:38,465 Drugged me? 27 00:07:38,465 --> 00:07:40,898 - I did. - What? 28 00:07:42,095 --> 00:07:42,928 I drugged it. 29 00:07:44,075 --> 00:07:47,828 Something very special. Now drink it. 30 00:07:54,425 --> 00:07:55,898 Wait. Hold on. 31 00:07:58,911 --> 00:08:00,395 Okay. 32 00:08:00,395 --> 00:08:01,448 I'm holding on. 33 00:08:04,025 --> 00:08:05,078 Now listen to me. 34 00:08:06,875 --> 00:08:10,238 You were meant to come here, to find me. 35 00:08:11,495 --> 00:08:16,238 That's all that matters. That's all you were ever born for. 36 00:08:17,165 --> 00:08:20,262 To be here with me right now. 37 00:08:23,353 --> 00:08:24,186 Now drink. 38 00:08:35,543 --> 00:08:36,376 Drink. 39 00:09:00,223 --> 00:09:02,306 What was in that drink? 40 00:09:03,282 --> 00:09:04,782 I was. My blood. 41 00:09:07,680 --> 00:09:08,680 Your what? 42 00:09:13,031 --> 00:09:14,698 How'd you like it? 43 00:09:16,478 --> 00:09:17,561 I liked it. 44 00:10:34,089 --> 00:10:35,672 Is something wrong? 45 00:10:36,918 --> 00:10:40,085 Everything's perfect, just like you! 46 00:11:40,434 --> 00:11:44,945 And now it's time for episode 225 47 00:11:44,945 --> 00:11:49,892 of Alexander's "Church of Chills." 48 00:11:51,865 --> 00:11:56,163 Watch in horror, as we reveal ghosts, 49 00:11:57,875 --> 00:12:02,195 monsters, new roots, 50 00:12:02,195 --> 00:12:05,375 and the walking dead. 51 00:12:07,708 --> 00:12:12,065 Welcome to Alexander's "Church of Chills," episode 225. 52 00:12:12,065 --> 00:12:16,745 Alexander Jarvis here, along with my grisly gals, 53 00:12:16,745 --> 00:12:20,648 Edwina and Juniper. 54 00:12:22,008 --> 00:12:24,815 Click like, subscribe. Join our Patreon page. 55 00:12:24,815 --> 00:12:27,125 Smash those buttons. 56 00:12:27,125 --> 00:12:28,355 This episode... 57 00:12:28,355 --> 00:12:30,905 Death in the Rat House. 58 00:12:30,905 --> 00:12:32,165 And... 59 00:12:32,165 --> 00:12:34,625 Haunted baby hands in Evermount Hospital. 60 00:12:34,625 --> 00:12:39,024 Ooh, and the man who ate his family. 61 00:12:39,024 --> 00:12:41,105 With recipes. 62 00:12:41,105 --> 00:12:44,535 It's "Church of Chills." 63 00:12:48,605 --> 00:12:50,405 Okay. And cut. 64 00:12:50,405 --> 00:12:52,385 Wanna do another one? 65 00:12:52,385 --> 00:12:53,315 Why? 66 00:12:53,315 --> 00:12:57,365 - For safety. - Maybe we can make it better. 67 00:12:57,365 --> 00:13:02,365 Seriously, who do I look like to you? Stanley Kubrick. 68 00:13:02,705 --> 00:13:05,705 No, not even slightly. 69 00:13:05,705 --> 00:13:07,295 Thank God. 70 00:13:07,295 --> 00:13:09,275 Alright, finish it up. Send it out. 71 00:13:09,275 --> 00:13:10,955 You check the feed. 72 00:13:10,955 --> 00:13:12,818 I'm gonna start work on 226. 73 00:13:15,095 --> 00:13:18,188 After I take a piss, 'cause that's how I roll. 74 00:13:21,785 --> 00:13:22,685 Well, good luck. 75 00:13:32,975 --> 00:13:34,975 Okay. You girls ready? 76 00:13:34,975 --> 00:13:36,875 Yeah? All right, let's get this down. 77 00:13:36,875 --> 00:13:38,735 All right. Okay. 78 00:13:38,735 --> 00:13:39,935 Juniper start recording. 79 00:13:42,245 --> 00:13:44,375 Okay. This is "Church of Chills," 80 00:13:44,375 --> 00:13:49,375 episode 226, segment three, prerecord rehearsal. 81 00:13:49,500 --> 00:13:51,605 The vile vivisectionist. 82 00:13:51,605 --> 00:13:52,465 And... 83 00:13:56,225 --> 00:13:57,665 The next terrifying tidbit 84 00:13:57,665 --> 00:14:01,392 straight out of Victorian history is called 85 00:14:01,392 --> 00:14:03,058 Dr. Jonas Hope, 86 00:14:03,058 --> 00:14:06,215 the vile vivisectionist of St. Pancras Hospital. 87 00:14:06,215 --> 00:14:08,945 Back then, doctors didn't know that they needed 88 00:14:08,945 --> 00:14:10,985 to wash their hands before surgery. 89 00:14:10,985 --> 00:14:13,448 And the most, well-known butcher, 90 00:14:14,915 --> 00:14:17,528 I mean surgeon, was Dr. Jonas Hope. 91 00:14:22,265 --> 00:14:24,665 This guy loved nothing better than spending his days 92 00:14:24,665 --> 00:14:26,975 chopping off poor people's arms and legs. 93 00:14:26,975 --> 00:14:29,048 Well, everybody needs a hobby. 94 00:14:30,215 --> 00:14:33,725 But then one day a patient came in 95 00:14:33,725 --> 00:14:36,275 who had been freshly crushed under a falling brick wall. 96 00:14:36,275 --> 00:14:39,125 - Oops. - I'll say. Ooh. 97 00:14:39,125 --> 00:14:41,645 The doctor proceeds to cut off 98 00:14:41,645 --> 00:14:44,345 both of this poor guy's arms and legs. 99 00:14:44,345 --> 00:14:47,015 Of course, without benefit of anesthesia. 100 00:14:47,015 --> 00:14:48,995 And he survives. 101 00:14:48,995 --> 00:14:52,925 And then a demented light dawns on the doctor. 102 00:14:52,925 --> 00:14:55,055 Okay, hold on. Hold on. 103 00:14:55,055 --> 00:14:56,315 Wait. Cut. 104 00:14:56,315 --> 00:14:57,185 Cut, cut. 105 00:14:57,185 --> 00:14:59,105 Oh, come. Jesus Christ. 106 00:14:59,105 --> 00:15:00,592 Stop recording, Junie. 107 00:15:02,165 --> 00:15:07,165 First of all, I am the only one who gets to call cut here. 108 00:15:07,415 --> 00:15:10,177 That's not true. I call cut all the time. 109 00:15:10,177 --> 00:15:13,985 Yeah, yeah, you sure do. 110 00:15:13,985 --> 00:15:16,505 But you're not supposed to. Alright? 111 00:15:16,505 --> 00:15:18,425 The director calls cut, the director. 112 00:15:18,425 --> 00:15:19,715 Me, I'm the director. 113 00:15:19,715 --> 00:15:22,355 And guess what? The director calls cut. 114 00:15:22,355 --> 00:15:23,855 Really? Since when? 115 00:15:23,855 --> 00:15:25,385 Since when? Since always. 116 00:15:25,385 --> 00:15:26,218 That's the rule. 117 00:15:26,218 --> 00:15:27,335 The director calls cut. 118 00:15:27,335 --> 00:15:30,485 No, she means since when are you... 119 00:15:30,485 --> 00:15:34,895 Is this what you're doing here? 120 00:15:34,895 --> 00:15:37,445 Does this make you the director? 121 00:15:37,445 --> 00:15:39,155 That is what you mean, isn't it Junie? 122 00:15:39,155 --> 00:15:41,315 Well, actually, I was referring 123 00:15:41,315 --> 00:15:44,255 to the general role of a director, but sure. 124 00:15:44,255 --> 00:15:46,145 Yeah. Whatever. Let's go with that. 125 00:15:46,145 --> 00:15:47,285 Okay, well, why don't we go with 126 00:15:47,285 --> 00:15:48,905 my interpretation of your remarks? 127 00:15:48,905 --> 00:15:49,865 No, no, no. 128 00:15:49,865 --> 00:15:51,065 How about we go with the fact 129 00:15:51,065 --> 00:15:53,645 that I created the show and my name is on it. 130 00:15:53,645 --> 00:15:54,478 Alex! 131 00:15:54,478 --> 00:15:55,472 - And the fact that you two- - Alex! 132 00:15:55,472 --> 00:15:58,175 You work for me, and I am the director, 133 00:15:58,175 --> 00:16:00,545 and I'm the one who gets to call cut. 134 00:16:00,545 --> 00:16:02,225 - Alex. - What? 135 00:16:02,225 --> 00:16:05,195 Why don't you just ask Eddie why she called cut? 136 00:16:05,195 --> 00:16:07,058 Because I know why Eddie cold cut. 137 00:16:08,045 --> 00:16:08,945 - Really? - Yeah. 138 00:16:10,325 --> 00:16:12,266 You wanna bet on that? 139 00:16:12,266 --> 00:16:14,465 What are you willing to bet? 140 00:16:14,465 --> 00:16:15,848 Hmm. Light of my life. 141 00:16:17,945 --> 00:16:20,375 The criterion collection of your Jess Sprango DVDs. 142 00:16:20,375 --> 00:16:21,755 Are you kidding me? I wouldn't bet that. 143 00:16:21,755 --> 00:16:23,765 Oh! Dammit. 144 00:16:23,765 --> 00:16:25,355 Okay, so how about this? 145 00:16:25,355 --> 00:16:26,845 No more calling cut... 146 00:16:30,575 --> 00:16:31,508 for this episode. 147 00:16:34,085 --> 00:16:35,705 - Deal. - Okay, great. 148 00:16:35,705 --> 00:16:37,625 Wait, what happens if I win? 149 00:16:37,625 --> 00:16:39,578 You girls can have everything I own. 150 00:16:41,165 --> 00:16:44,315 Okay. No, no, wait, that's a trick. 151 00:16:44,315 --> 00:16:46,515 You don't actually own anything, you fucker. 152 00:16:47,675 --> 00:16:49,235 Okay, so what then? 153 00:16:49,235 --> 00:16:51,050 You've gotta be nice to us. 154 00:16:55,535 --> 00:16:56,948 Wait for how long? 155 00:16:57,815 --> 00:16:58,688 Forever. 156 00:16:59,825 --> 00:17:01,175 Seriously. 157 00:17:01,175 --> 00:17:02,048 A week. 158 00:17:06,695 --> 00:17:09,338 Okay, but just hold on a second. Okay. 159 00:17:23,465 --> 00:17:24,365 What is this? 160 00:17:24,365 --> 00:17:26,168 That is why Eddie called cut. 161 00:17:28,595 --> 00:17:30,158 You are a independent arbiter. 162 00:17:31,535 --> 00:17:33,818 Smile when you call me that, stranger. 163 00:17:36,395 --> 00:17:37,928 You may proceed. 164 00:17:39,245 --> 00:17:41,018 Finally. Thank you. 165 00:17:43,985 --> 00:17:46,655 I wanted to point out that there were around two paragraphs 166 00:17:46,655 --> 00:17:48,725 missing about how patients were treated in those wards. 167 00:17:48,725 --> 00:17:50,345 That was all great stuff. 168 00:17:50,345 --> 00:17:52,115 Yeah, yeah. It really is. 169 00:17:52,115 --> 00:17:55,808 As indeed all of your stuff is, Eddie. You're brilliant. 170 00:17:56,705 --> 00:18:00,125 But the show, it's coming in long 171 00:18:00,125 --> 00:18:01,385 and it's gotta come in on time. 172 00:18:01,385 --> 00:18:04,745 And one of us has to be an adult here. Right? 173 00:18:04,745 --> 00:18:08,228 And, and you my love. You don't make cuts. 174 00:18:10,535 --> 00:18:12,218 Junie, please. 175 00:18:17,375 --> 00:18:20,008 Eddie's going to bitch about the ward material being cut. 176 00:18:22,085 --> 00:18:22,918 There it is. 177 00:18:23,825 --> 00:18:28,355 So much for having to be nice to you two bitches. 178 00:18:28,355 --> 00:18:31,025 Don't gimme that sourpuss Look, Eddie. 179 00:18:31,025 --> 00:18:36,025 Now let's reset for take two, without any calling cuts. 180 00:19:20,134 --> 00:19:25,134 And now, it's time for Alexander's "Church of Chills." 181 00:19:29,544 --> 00:19:31,355 The next terrifying tidbit, 182 00:19:31,355 --> 00:19:34,175 straight out of Victorian history, is called... 183 00:19:34,175 --> 00:19:37,085 Dr. Jonas Hope, the vile vivisectionist 184 00:19:37,085 --> 00:19:38,798 of St. Pancreas Hospital. 185 00:19:40,025 --> 00:19:42,665 See, back then, doctors didn't understand that they needed 186 00:19:42,665 --> 00:19:45,215 to wash their hands before surgery. 187 00:19:45,215 --> 00:19:48,608 And the most infamous butcher, 188 00:19:49,925 --> 00:19:53,015 surgeon, was Dr. Jonah Hope. 189 00:19:53,015 --> 00:19:55,565 This guy loved nothing better than chopping off 190 00:19:55,565 --> 00:19:57,335 poor people's arms and legs. 191 00:19:57,335 --> 00:19:59,318 Well, everybody needs a hobby. 192 00:20:00,695 --> 00:20:03,605 One day, a patient had come in who had been crushed 193 00:20:03,605 --> 00:20:05,135 by a falling brick wall. 194 00:20:05,135 --> 00:20:07,598 - Oops. - I'll say. Ooh. 195 00:20:08,525 --> 00:20:11,255 Dr. Jonas proceeded to cut off 196 00:20:11,255 --> 00:20:15,095 both of this poor guy's arms and legs. 197 00:20:15,095 --> 00:20:17,945 Of course, without benefit of anesthesia. 198 00:20:17,945 --> 00:20:19,478 And he survives. 199 00:20:20,495 --> 00:20:23,855 And then, suddenly, 200 00:20:23,855 --> 00:20:27,125 a demented light dawned on the doctor. 201 00:20:27,125 --> 00:20:29,855 He began to wonder just how much he could remove 202 00:20:29,855 --> 00:20:34,328 from a human being and have that patient survive. 203 00:20:34,328 --> 00:20:36,455 What? 204 00:20:36,455 --> 00:20:41,288 He had plenty of raw material, a hospital full of it. 205 00:20:42,455 --> 00:20:44,735 The good doctor selected patients to bring 206 00:20:44,735 --> 00:20:48,635 to his special ward downstairs in his basement 207 00:20:48,635 --> 00:20:52,565 where he conducted his diabolical experiments. 208 00:20:52,565 --> 00:20:54,065 And as for the screams. 209 00:20:54,065 --> 00:20:58,085 Well, there were always screams coming from St. Pancras. 210 00:20:58,085 --> 00:21:02,255 But all good things and some horrible ones come to an end. 211 00:21:02,255 --> 00:21:05,105 About 10 years later, some busy bodies 212 00:21:05,105 --> 00:21:06,935 started to ask questions. 213 00:21:06,935 --> 00:21:09,275 And when they went to ask Dr. Hope these questions, 214 00:21:09,275 --> 00:21:12,365 he disappeared. 215 00:21:12,365 --> 00:21:14,495 So they cut the heavy locks of that door 216 00:21:14,495 --> 00:21:16,325 and headed down into that basement. 217 00:21:16,325 --> 00:21:18,878 And what did they find down there? 218 00:21:19,775 --> 00:21:22,865 At first, what they found 219 00:21:22,865 --> 00:21:26,018 didn't seem to be living at all, let alone human. 220 00:21:27,035 --> 00:21:32,035 They more resembled lines of damp leather bags 221 00:21:33,545 --> 00:21:36,365 with tubes coming from them leading to bottles. 222 00:21:36,365 --> 00:21:39,095 Tubes to bring in food and remove waste. 223 00:21:39,095 --> 00:21:40,955 What were in those sacks? 224 00:21:40,955 --> 00:21:43,565 Just a brain, bits of skull. 225 00:21:43,565 --> 00:21:48,545 But no jaw, no tongue, 226 00:21:48,545 --> 00:21:53,543 no eyes, no ears, no skeleton, 227 00:21:53,544 --> 00:21:58,205 no muscles, just a few essential organs laced together. 228 00:21:58,205 --> 00:22:00,455 God knows what those brains were thinking. 229 00:22:00,455 --> 00:22:01,595 Oh. 230 00:22:01,595 --> 00:22:06,595 And the doctor succeeded no less than 33 times. 231 00:22:10,535 --> 00:22:12,728 But what about Dr. Hope? Where was he? 232 00:22:13,655 --> 00:22:17,105 As it turns out, Dr. Hope had been using a cess pit 233 00:22:17,105 --> 00:22:20,135 to dispose of his discarded limbs. 234 00:22:20,135 --> 00:22:21,755 When searchers closed in, 235 00:22:21,755 --> 00:22:25,025 he'd attempted to use it as an escape route. 236 00:22:25,025 --> 00:22:26,975 He didn't get very far. 237 00:22:26,975 --> 00:22:29,888 They found him down there, what was left of him. 238 00:22:30,995 --> 00:22:32,495 And of course, they couldn't explain 239 00:22:32,495 --> 00:22:34,925 the condition of the doctor's body. 240 00:22:34,925 --> 00:22:38,978 The fact that it appeared as if it had been torn, 241 00:22:40,025 --> 00:22:44,495 beaten, strangled, 242 00:22:44,495 --> 00:22:48,688 and by many groping hands. 243 00:22:49,925 --> 00:22:51,665 Nor could anyone explain 244 00:22:51,665 --> 00:22:54,907 the look of stark terror on Dr. Hope's face. 245 00:23:12,275 --> 00:23:14,435 What's the word that sounds like repugnant. 246 00:23:14,435 --> 00:23:18,715 But it means that you don't want to, um, you know... 247 00:23:20,287 --> 00:23:22,238 Um... - Reprehensible. 248 00:23:24,035 --> 00:23:29,022 Rep-re-hens. I would've thought of it, but thank you. 249 00:24:20,818 --> 00:24:22,401 - Hey, Alex. - What? 250 00:24:23,690 --> 00:24:24,725 Take a look at this. 251 00:24:24,725 --> 00:24:25,625 There's a video that's got over 252 00:24:25,625 --> 00:24:28,568 half a million hits since yesterday and growing. 253 00:24:35,362 --> 00:24:37,565 Oh, yeah. Well, good for them. 254 00:24:37,565 --> 00:24:39,275 Yours truly is not in the market 255 00:24:39,275 --> 00:24:42,335 of sending traffic to somebody else's bullshit website. 256 00:24:42,335 --> 00:24:45,235 Yeah. We've got our own bullshit website to worry about. 257 00:24:51,275 --> 00:24:53,738 He's got good taste though. She is cute. 258 00:24:54,965 --> 00:24:58,298 What? We never put up anything that's fake. 259 00:24:59,225 --> 00:25:03,305 Of course we do. Bigfoot, found alien footage. 260 00:25:03,305 --> 00:25:06,785 All that shit is fake. So this, this is different. 261 00:25:06,785 --> 00:25:09,753 It's viral marketing. You can tell. 262 00:25:09,753 --> 00:25:12,698 Oh, okay. Let me just do this. 263 00:25:14,975 --> 00:25:17,075 Yeah, see? There. 264 00:25:17,075 --> 00:25:19,865 How convenient, the name of the dumb ass S and M club 265 00:25:19,865 --> 00:25:21,725 right there for everybody to see. 266 00:25:21,725 --> 00:25:24,409 A drink, a blowjob and a mojito. 267 00:25:25,775 --> 00:25:26,618 How scary. 268 00:25:28,775 --> 00:25:30,155 Have you ever been to one of these clubs, Junie? 269 00:25:30,155 --> 00:25:31,685 Seriously? 270 00:25:31,685 --> 00:25:35,165 It's, it's like trying to go to a nude beach. 271 00:25:35,165 --> 00:25:38,315 You expect "Sports Illustrated," 272 00:25:38,315 --> 00:25:43,272 but you get, well, people like me. 273 00:25:43,272 --> 00:25:45,755 Ew. Yuck. 274 00:25:45,755 --> 00:25:47,675 Yeah, thanks. 275 00:25:47,675 --> 00:25:49,745 The point is, that's fucking staged. 276 00:25:49,745 --> 00:25:52,475 We could use some of those nice juicy hits. 277 00:25:52,475 --> 00:25:53,705 I'm telling you that this sort 278 00:25:53,705 --> 00:25:55,355 of thing flows the other way. 279 00:25:55,355 --> 00:25:58,685 It sucks our viewers to them, not the other way around. 280 00:25:58,685 --> 00:26:03,008 Now, sugar pie, honey bunch, can we please get back to work? 281 00:26:04,805 --> 00:26:07,467 And don't give me that sourpuss look. 282 00:27:21,955 --> 00:27:24,292 What? 283 00:27:24,292 --> 00:27:28,175 Eddie, go get Alex. I need you to go get Alex. 284 00:27:28,175 --> 00:27:29,018 He's asleep. 285 00:27:29,855 --> 00:27:30,688 What's going on? 286 00:27:33,575 --> 00:27:35,025 He's asleep. What's going on? 287 00:27:43,703 --> 00:27:44,786 Is this live? 288 00:27:46,745 --> 00:27:47,578 Alex! 289 00:27:49,955 --> 00:27:51,968 Alex, get down here! 290 00:27:53,375 --> 00:27:54,218 Alex. Wake up. 291 00:27:58,235 --> 00:28:00,148 Jesus fucking Christ. 292 00:28:02,313 --> 00:28:05,405 How many fucking times have I told you to stop doing that? 293 00:28:05,405 --> 00:28:07,058 - Be nice. - Fuck! 294 00:28:07,926 --> 00:28:11,952 Oh, what a piece of work is man. 295 00:28:13,385 --> 00:28:18,385 How noble in reason, how infinite in faculty, 296 00:28:18,845 --> 00:28:22,565 in form and movement, how express 297 00:28:22,565 --> 00:28:24,488 and admirable- - Enough! Enough! 298 00:28:25,475 --> 00:28:27,335 - Keep your- - Enough! 299 00:28:27,335 --> 00:28:28,295 What? 300 00:28:28,295 --> 00:28:29,375 Guys? Guys. 301 00:28:29,375 --> 00:28:30,338 Alex, come here. 302 00:28:31,235 --> 00:28:33,605 Hellfire House is live streaming again. 303 00:28:33,605 --> 00:28:37,145 Are you fucking kidding me? That's why you woke me up. 304 00:28:37,145 --> 00:28:39,728 Just watch. 305 00:29:26,402 --> 00:29:28,902 Well, this one's in a hurry. 306 00:29:34,145 --> 00:29:36,595 Must be giving them some sort of hypnotic drug. 307 00:29:37,751 --> 00:29:40,328 Oh, so you don't think it's actually his blood? 308 00:29:44,225 --> 00:29:46,055 Look, I don't know what this is. 309 00:29:46,055 --> 00:29:48,695 So you don't think this is a, a real live, 310 00:29:48,695 --> 00:29:51,455 honest-to-gosh vampire live streaming his killings. 311 00:29:51,455 --> 00:29:53,135 Alex, there doesn't have to be a real live 312 00:29:53,135 --> 00:29:54,455 vampire for killings. 313 00:29:54,455 --> 00:29:56,795 Oh, okay. Yeah, that makes sense. 314 00:29:56,795 --> 00:29:58,325 All the stuff where he's turning into a vampire, 315 00:29:58,325 --> 00:29:59,345 that's fake. 316 00:29:59,345 --> 00:30:01,385 But all the stuff where he's killing these chicks, 317 00:30:01,385 --> 00:30:03,125 that's real, that's what you believe? 318 00:30:03,125 --> 00:30:03,958 Seriously? 319 00:30:05,045 --> 00:30:07,595 I don't know. Alex, there's something about this. 320 00:30:50,075 --> 00:30:50,918 Interesting. 321 00:30:52,595 --> 00:30:57,595 Always surprises. I'm impressed. 322 00:30:57,905 --> 00:31:01,388 Usually when a woman marks herself in this way, 323 00:31:02,885 --> 00:31:07,455 the canvas of flesh quite overwhelms the illustrations. 324 00:31:16,510 --> 00:31:17,510 But these... 325 00:31:20,240 --> 00:31:21,657 are quite lovely. 326 00:31:23,435 --> 00:31:24,878 Do you have any tattoos? 327 00:31:25,925 --> 00:31:26,975 I'd love to see them. 328 00:31:28,332 --> 00:31:32,008 I'm afraid not. 329 00:31:55,106 --> 00:31:55,939 Wait. 330 00:31:57,185 --> 00:32:00,095 Can, wind it back. 331 00:32:00,095 --> 00:32:01,370 What? 332 00:32:01,370 --> 00:32:02,525 The part where he's b-biting her. Wind it back. 333 00:32:02,525 --> 00:32:04,575 I wanna see what- - Yeah, yeah. Hold on. 334 00:32:10,115 --> 00:32:12,515 - Did you catch it? - Catch what? 335 00:32:12,515 --> 00:32:13,415 Just slide over. 336 00:32:22,115 --> 00:32:24,615 Jesus Christ, Alex, what the fuck? 337 00:32:24,615 --> 00:32:27,305 Yeah, this is getting weird. Even been for you. 338 00:32:27,305 --> 00:32:28,958 Just wait a second, okay. Fuck. 339 00:32:33,215 --> 00:32:34,048 There. 340 00:32:36,185 --> 00:32:37,537 You see it? 341 00:32:37,537 --> 00:32:38,370 See what? 342 00:32:38,370 --> 00:32:39,308 It's her jugular. 343 00:32:40,295 --> 00:32:42,185 No. God, no. 344 00:32:42,185 --> 00:32:43,505 Okay. 345 00:32:43,505 --> 00:32:47,135 The jugular is a vein in the neck right here. 346 00:32:47,135 --> 00:32:48,335 What you're probably thinking of 347 00:32:48,335 --> 00:32:49,895 is the exterior carotid arteries, 348 00:32:49,895 --> 00:32:51,695 which are here and here in the neck. 349 00:32:53,795 --> 00:32:58,088 But this, that's the axillary artery. 350 00:32:59,705 --> 00:33:02,075 It, it, it runs under the collarbone, 351 00:33:02,075 --> 00:33:05,465 provides blood to the shoulder and the arm. 352 00:33:05,465 --> 00:33:07,295 He is never gonna let us forget 353 00:33:07,295 --> 00:33:09,845 that he took a year of med school. 354 00:33:09,845 --> 00:33:12,125 Two and a half. Get it straight. 355 00:33:12,125 --> 00:33:15,845 Okay? So whatever the fuck this um, monetary- 356 00:33:15,845 --> 00:33:18,365 Axillary, axillary artery. 357 00:33:18,365 --> 00:33:20,975 All right, axillary artery. So? 358 00:33:20,975 --> 00:33:24,575 So? Why bother? 359 00:33:24,575 --> 00:33:26,468 If this is just viral marketing, 360 00:33:28,145 --> 00:33:31,478 why bother with this obscure anatomical detail? 361 00:33:32,315 --> 00:33:34,205 It makes more sense dramatically 362 00:33:34,205 --> 00:33:35,505 to just go for the throat. 363 00:33:37,010 --> 00:33:39,575 Okay, so doesn't that mean 364 00:33:39,575 --> 00:33:42,695 that somehow or other this is all real? 365 00:33:46,439 --> 00:33:48,439 Yeah, I guess it does. 366 00:33:52,370 --> 00:33:53,203 Oh fuck. 367 00:33:54,928 --> 00:33:57,761 Okay. So what do we do about it? 368 00:34:00,814 --> 00:34:02,731 We're gonna air it... 369 00:34:04,346 --> 00:34:05,763 in the next show. 370 00:34:43,374 --> 00:34:48,374 And now it's time for Alexander's "Church of Chills." 371 00:35:04,145 --> 00:35:07,175 What is the point of this nonsense? 372 00:35:07,175 --> 00:35:08,795 Just watch, my Lord. 373 00:35:11,108 --> 00:35:12,388 How did this happen? 374 00:35:13,295 --> 00:35:17,798 These dabblers, how did they find us? 375 00:35:17,798 --> 00:35:21,275 I don't know. I can't seem to track them down. 376 00:35:21,275 --> 00:35:23,968 They keep themselves hidden, just as we do. 377 00:35:25,869 --> 00:35:30,869 No, not as we do. 378 00:35:31,911 --> 00:35:36,622 They're close. 379 00:36:03,395 --> 00:36:04,715 In case you were wondering, 380 00:36:04,715 --> 00:36:06,275 the two Carnage House streams, 381 00:36:06,275 --> 00:36:09,125 they're both over 3.5 million hits. 382 00:36:09,125 --> 00:36:10,445 Go figure. 383 00:36:10,445 --> 00:36:12,635 Jesus. Take a look at these numbers. 384 00:36:12,635 --> 00:36:16,118 780,000, 790,000. 385 00:36:16,118 --> 00:36:16,955 Well, I scored that high. 386 00:36:16,955 --> 00:36:19,835 That's not them, Mastermind. This is us. 387 00:36:19,835 --> 00:36:20,885 Are you kidding me? 388 00:36:21,767 --> 00:36:25,367 Hey guys, take a look at this. Found another one. 389 00:36:25,367 --> 00:36:26,225 Another one what? 390 00:36:26,225 --> 00:36:29,585 Another Carnage House killing. This one's different. 391 00:36:29,585 --> 00:36:31,055 What do you mean? Different how? 392 00:36:31,055 --> 00:36:32,615 It's old. 393 00:36:32,615 --> 00:36:34,505 It's gotta be the first one. 394 00:36:34,505 --> 00:36:37,745 Look. Okay, see one and two. 395 00:36:37,745 --> 00:36:39,875 They're both over a million hits. 396 00:36:39,875 --> 00:36:42,098 This one, it's only got seven. 397 00:36:43,325 --> 00:36:45,125 Why would they pull that back? 398 00:36:45,125 --> 00:36:48,218 It must be some, some kind of rehearsal. 399 00:36:49,445 --> 00:36:51,395 Maybe it wasn't meant for streaming 400 00:36:51,395 --> 00:36:53,245 or maybe something went wrong or... 401 00:36:57,935 --> 00:37:02,405 Okay, well that seems to be everything on the punch list. 402 00:37:05,315 --> 00:37:06,995 We should check the mirrors. 403 00:37:06,995 --> 00:37:07,928 Of course. 404 00:37:26,232 --> 00:37:29,705 Oh, the new sign isn't in place. 405 00:37:29,705 --> 00:37:32,348 Well, there's something there. Kreur, Kreurheim? 406 00:37:35,225 --> 00:37:37,988 Yes. It's the name of the home. 407 00:37:38,885 --> 00:37:42,578 It's an old word. It means house of blood. 408 00:37:45,365 --> 00:37:46,198 Oh! 409 00:37:47,405 --> 00:37:50,518 Not my blood. The blood of my family. 410 00:37:54,841 --> 00:37:55,841 All right. 411 00:37:57,772 --> 00:37:58,658 Excuse me. 412 00:38:00,455 --> 00:38:03,125 Okay. Well, it seems that everything's in order. 413 00:38:03,125 --> 00:38:04,448 So it seems. 414 00:38:06,005 --> 00:38:08,645 A little rough around the edges, yet, 415 00:38:08,645 --> 00:38:11,015 could see its final form 416 00:38:11,015 --> 00:38:14,378 starting to peek through its chrysalis. 417 00:38:16,475 --> 00:38:18,545 Well, yes, I suppose. 418 00:38:18,545 --> 00:38:23,545 Um. Okay, well, that is everything. 419 00:38:27,700 --> 00:38:30,318 Oh, God. What was I thinking? 420 00:38:32,302 --> 00:38:34,469 You have to sign the deed. 421 00:38:36,904 --> 00:38:39,544 Is this completely necessary? 422 00:38:39,544 --> 00:38:40,377 Yeah. 423 00:38:54,172 --> 00:38:55,172 Great. Okay. 424 00:38:57,250 --> 00:38:59,549 Well, I-I think that's everything then. 425 00:38:59,549 --> 00:39:04,436 So, I'm gonna get going. 426 00:39:04,436 --> 00:39:07,418 Can't be leaving yet. We have to christen the place. 427 00:39:09,365 --> 00:39:12,728 Oh, no, no, I really, I don't have time for that. 428 00:39:14,075 --> 00:39:14,978 Please. 429 00:39:26,915 --> 00:39:29,095 Uh. Well... 430 00:39:34,294 --> 00:39:36,712 To extraordinary things. 431 00:39:36,712 --> 00:39:39,082 Yeah, to extraordinary things. 432 00:40:10,038 --> 00:40:10,871 Ooh! 433 00:40:12,472 --> 00:40:15,218 Wow. That is some strong stuff. 434 00:40:17,645 --> 00:40:19,862 Yes, well, I found it necessary. 435 00:40:21,704 --> 00:40:22,537 Necessary? 436 00:40:22,537 --> 00:40:26,198 Necessary for creating a connection between us. 437 00:40:27,275 --> 00:40:29,555 Don't you feel- - Um. 438 00:40:29,555 --> 00:40:31,385 Connection between us? 439 00:40:31,385 --> 00:40:35,867 Yeah, no, I, I I, well, I, I I really should. 440 00:40:35,867 --> 00:40:37,926 I gotta, I have to go. 441 00:40:37,926 --> 00:40:42,715 Oh, that would be a terrible waste. Wouldn't you agree? 442 00:40:45,483 --> 00:40:46,566 There we are. 443 00:40:48,485 --> 00:40:50,645 So much finer you appear 444 00:40:50,645 --> 00:40:53,558 without those rags wrapped around you. 445 00:40:54,515 --> 00:40:58,025 A sacrifice perfect for the gods. 446 00:40:58,025 --> 00:40:58,858 No. 447 00:40:58,858 --> 00:41:00,878 Ready to be laid on the altar. 448 00:41:03,155 --> 00:41:03,988 No. 449 00:41:05,155 --> 00:41:08,398 Yes. This was all meant to be. 450 00:41:10,465 --> 00:41:11,798 Here we go. - No! 451 00:41:44,483 --> 00:41:45,316 No! No! 452 00:41:51,712 --> 00:41:56,099 No. 453 00:42:09,082 --> 00:42:10,431 Jesus. 454 00:42:10,431 --> 00:42:12,348 Some fucking rehearsal. 455 00:42:27,605 --> 00:42:31,055 Kreurheim. I've heard that name before. 456 00:42:31,055 --> 00:42:35,165 It's some big old stately home or something, isn't it? 457 00:42:35,165 --> 00:42:35,998 Beats me. 458 00:42:53,195 --> 00:42:54,785 You'll find that your machines 459 00:42:54,785 --> 00:42:57,188 no longer work for now. 460 00:42:59,315 --> 00:43:00,148 What the hell. 461 00:43:04,888 --> 00:43:06,308 Fuck. He's right. 462 00:43:06,308 --> 00:43:07,555 Yes, I am. 463 00:43:07,555 --> 00:43:10,175 So do I have your attention now, 464 00:43:10,175 --> 00:43:12,555 Mr. Jarvis, ladies? 465 00:43:15,335 --> 00:43:19,650 Holy shit. Alex, if he knows our names... 466 00:43:19,650 --> 00:43:20,483 Okay. 467 00:43:21,935 --> 00:43:26,255 You have our attention. What can we do for you? 468 00:43:26,255 --> 00:43:28,505 What you can do for me? 469 00:43:28,505 --> 00:43:32,375 I was thinking more along the lines of what you've done 470 00:43:32,375 --> 00:43:37,375 to me by making public what I've chosen to keep private. 471 00:43:38,225 --> 00:43:41,315 I suspect you have no idea to what extent 472 00:43:41,315 --> 00:43:44,585 your thoughtlessness has inconvenienced me. 473 00:43:44,585 --> 00:43:47,228 What do you mean we made public? 474 00:43:48,095 --> 00:43:49,835 You live stream your thing 475 00:43:49,835 --> 00:43:51,585 to hundreds of thousands of people. 476 00:43:52,835 --> 00:43:55,359 Don't light that cigarette. 477 00:43:55,359 --> 00:43:58,879 In fact, I want you to stop smoking altogether. 478 00:43:58,879 --> 00:44:00,930 It's a sordid habit. 479 00:44:00,930 --> 00:44:04,763 A habit of weak men, and it pollutes the body. 480 00:44:05,838 --> 00:44:08,862 - Dude, it's just a cigarette. - Put it down! 481 00:44:14,175 --> 00:44:15,368 Okay? I'm sorry. 482 00:44:17,135 --> 00:44:22,055 Mr. Jarvis, I plant my seeds very cautiously. 483 00:44:22,055 --> 00:44:25,925 That's why no one outside of my circle knows about us. 484 00:44:25,925 --> 00:44:28,565 That is, until now. 485 00:44:28,565 --> 00:44:30,215 Because of you. 486 00:44:30,215 --> 00:44:32,547 You've chosen to imprudently scatter 487 00:44:32,547 --> 00:44:34,205 those seeds to the wind. 488 00:44:34,205 --> 00:44:37,148 I'm sorry, I-I didn't understand. 489 00:44:38,749 --> 00:44:40,715 I-I don't understand. 490 00:44:40,715 --> 00:44:42,581 I don't suppose you're willing to share 491 00:44:42,581 --> 00:44:45,218 why you want to do this seed scattering. 492 00:45:02,040 --> 00:45:03,597 T-t-to threaten us. 493 00:45:03,597 --> 00:45:07,675 I don't threaten people. 494 00:45:07,675 --> 00:45:10,168 If I considered you a danger to me, 495 00:45:11,080 --> 00:45:11,913 you would never have seen me coming. 496 00:45:14,027 --> 00:45:16,925 Then, I-I don't know what. To, to explain? 497 00:45:16,925 --> 00:45:21,815 Or, um, to, I, I don't know. 498 00:45:21,815 --> 00:45:26,815 Um, I, I guess I'm done. I, I mean, I'm, I'm done guessing. 499 00:45:30,605 --> 00:45:31,438 Renfield. 500 00:45:33,529 --> 00:45:34,362 Junie. What? 501 00:45:34,362 --> 00:45:37,085 I'm afraid I didn't quite catch that young lady. 502 00:45:39,875 --> 00:45:44,162 Renfield is a character in the novel "Dracula." 503 00:45:46,320 --> 00:45:48,290 It's a novel about- - Yes. 504 00:45:48,290 --> 00:45:51,058 I am familiar with the work. 505 00:45:51,058 --> 00:45:54,391 Renfield is, how would you describe him? 506 00:45:56,240 --> 00:46:00,073 The groveling, lunatic servant of the vampire. 507 00:46:00,935 --> 00:46:05,935 I thought that maybe you thought about us like that. 508 00:46:07,890 --> 00:46:10,738 You're not far from wrong, Ms. Coleman. 509 00:46:10,738 --> 00:46:13,955 But upon examination, it's obvious to me 510 00:46:13,955 --> 00:46:17,258 that you're all thoroughly trivial creatures. 511 00:46:18,245 --> 00:46:22,105 Not even useful to me as Renfields, as you put it. 512 00:46:26,195 --> 00:46:31,195 Of course you agree, don't you? 513 00:46:34,318 --> 00:46:36,099 I don't know. 514 00:46:36,099 --> 00:46:38,598 Don't you? 515 00:46:38,598 --> 00:46:39,431 Yes. 516 00:46:40,806 --> 00:46:43,372 Huh. 517 00:46:43,372 --> 00:46:44,738 Yes. I agree. 518 00:46:46,385 --> 00:46:50,455 I mean, I, I can see exactly... 519 00:46:59,465 --> 00:47:02,195 They're gone! 520 00:47:02,195 --> 00:47:03,028 Sunlight. 521 00:47:04,385 --> 00:47:05,828 Shit, that's why he's gone. 522 00:47:06,875 --> 00:47:07,708 For now. 523 00:47:09,424 --> 00:47:14,424 Fuck! 524 00:47:27,876 --> 00:47:28,709 Alex. 525 00:47:30,538 --> 00:47:31,387 Alex. 526 00:47:32,655 --> 00:47:33,785 - What? - So what the fuck 527 00:47:33,785 --> 00:47:35,168 do we do now? 528 00:47:36,894 --> 00:47:37,811 Um. Okay. 529 00:47:39,425 --> 00:47:41,705 I'll tell you what we're gonna do. 530 00:47:41,705 --> 00:47:46,295 The footage of the contractor lady, we air it tonight. 531 00:47:46,295 --> 00:47:48,185 Are you fucking crazy? 532 00:47:48,185 --> 00:47:49,268 Haven't we pissed him off enough? 533 00:47:49,268 --> 00:47:51,545 Well he obviously didn't want it aired. 534 00:47:51,545 --> 00:47:52,865 There's clearly something on there 535 00:47:52,865 --> 00:47:54,245 that he didn't want anyone to see. 536 00:47:54,245 --> 00:47:56,405 So we're gonna let people see it. 537 00:47:56,405 --> 00:47:59,045 Seriously, Alex, you are fucking mental. 538 00:47:59,045 --> 00:48:00,665 Juniper, what are you doing? 539 00:48:00,665 --> 00:48:03,185 What does it look like I'm doing, Alex? 540 00:48:03,185 --> 00:48:04,295 You really think you're gonna be able 541 00:48:04,295 --> 00:48:06,704 to outrun this guy if he wants to find you? 542 00:48:06,704 --> 00:48:07,655 I think I have a better chance of outrunning him 543 00:48:07,655 --> 00:48:08,858 if I fucking run. 544 00:48:09,785 --> 00:48:10,762 Goddammit, where are my shoes? 545 00:48:10,762 --> 00:48:13,295 - Junie. - Where are my fucking shoes? 546 00:48:13,295 --> 00:48:14,495 Can you please just calm down? 547 00:48:14,495 --> 00:48:15,728 I am calm. 548 00:48:17,765 --> 00:48:21,665 Okay. 549 00:48:21,665 --> 00:48:25,895 Alex, I want my money. I need my money. 550 00:48:25,895 --> 00:48:27,815 Jesus, Junie. We didn't even discuss- 551 00:48:27,815 --> 00:48:29,165 Cut the bullshit. 552 00:48:29,165 --> 00:48:31,415 You always said we were equal partners in this. 553 00:48:31,415 --> 00:48:34,448 We have money. I'm dissolving the partnership. 554 00:48:35,795 --> 00:48:38,285 I need whatever part of the share that is mine. Okay? 555 00:48:38,285 --> 00:48:42,128 So go get that cash box, Alex. I need my money. 556 00:48:43,535 --> 00:48:45,305 Junie, can we just talk. 557 00:48:45,305 --> 00:48:46,268 Talk about what? 558 00:48:47,135 --> 00:48:48,095 Fine, Eddie. Fine. 559 00:48:48,095 --> 00:48:49,895 Yeah, go ahead, talk. Talk about what? 560 00:48:49,895 --> 00:48:52,295 I just don't think that- 561 00:48:52,295 --> 00:48:55,448 That's right. There's nothing to talk about. 562 00:48:57,155 --> 00:48:59,798 Enough. Go get the cash box, Alex. 563 00:49:00,785 --> 00:49:01,618 Alex. 564 00:49:07,385 --> 00:49:08,218 Fine! 565 00:49:16,295 --> 00:49:20,225 Seriously, Alex, you keep the key in the lock? 566 00:49:20,225 --> 00:49:21,058 What do you want from me? 567 00:49:21,058 --> 00:49:23,045 I would've lost it otherwise. - Jesus Christ. Hurry up. 568 00:49:23,045 --> 00:49:23,878 Hey! 569 00:49:25,835 --> 00:49:27,905 I don't have time for this. 570 00:49:27,905 --> 00:49:31,525 We don't have time for this. 571 00:49:31,525 --> 00:49:33,155 Shit. I didn't realize how broke we were. 572 00:49:33,155 --> 00:49:34,778 Seriously? Take a look around. 573 00:49:36,995 --> 00:49:39,225 Fine. Okay. 574 00:49:39,225 --> 00:49:41,525 $850. That's my share. 575 00:49:41,525 --> 00:49:42,408 I'm taking it. 576 00:49:45,076 --> 00:49:46,095 Junie, please. 577 00:49:46,095 --> 00:49:47,436 Junie, wait. 578 00:50:00,345 --> 00:50:01,178 Alex. 579 00:50:09,857 --> 00:50:10,857 Take care. 580 00:50:18,617 --> 00:50:20,117 I love you guys. 581 00:50:22,647 --> 00:50:25,564 Just do yourselves a favor and run. 582 00:50:38,556 --> 00:50:41,644 Eddie. 583 00:50:41,644 --> 00:50:42,477 So? 584 00:50:45,755 --> 00:50:50,755 So, so we do what I fucking said, okay? 585 00:50:50,885 --> 00:50:52,076 We air it tonight 586 00:50:52,076 --> 00:50:53,645 and we try to figure out why the fuck 587 00:50:53,645 --> 00:50:56,735 he didn't want anyone to see it and shit, I don't know. 588 00:50:56,735 --> 00:50:58,115 I don't know what the fuck else. 589 00:50:58,115 --> 00:50:59,675 I'm not fucking Van Helsing, Eddie. 590 00:50:59,675 --> 00:51:01,265 There are no more fucking Van Helsings. 591 00:51:01,265 --> 00:51:02,405 Jesus Christ, Alex. 592 00:51:02,405 --> 00:51:06,248 Why the fuck are you yelling at me? What did I do? 593 00:51:07,661 --> 00:51:08,494 Ah, fuck. 594 00:51:08,494 --> 00:51:09,327 What do you want from me? 595 00:51:09,327 --> 00:51:10,475 I don't know. I don't know. 596 00:51:10,475 --> 00:51:11,308 I'm sorry. Okay. 597 00:51:11,308 --> 00:51:16,308 I know it's not your fault, but I-I'm just, I'm just... 598 00:51:16,420 --> 00:51:18,860 It's this, it's crazy. 599 00:51:59,585 --> 00:52:00,418 Shit. 600 00:52:06,455 --> 00:52:08,195 Jesus Christ. - Shh. 601 00:52:08,195 --> 00:52:09,395 Reading room. 602 00:52:09,395 --> 00:52:13,955 Oh, well, sorry, but you scared the... 603 00:52:13,955 --> 00:52:16,145 I mean, you scared me to death. 604 00:52:16,145 --> 00:52:18,668 I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to creep up on you. 605 00:52:20,045 --> 00:52:21,518 It's, it's okay. 606 00:52:22,625 --> 00:52:26,255 I was just wondering if I might be able to help with this. 607 00:52:26,255 --> 00:52:29,528 I, I'm not sure. 608 00:52:31,835 --> 00:52:33,755 Oh, I'm so sorry. 609 00:52:33,755 --> 00:52:37,025 It's always getting tangled up in, in everything. 610 00:52:37,025 --> 00:52:38,775 Here, let me. - That's, it's okay. 611 00:52:42,010 --> 00:52:43,927 - Hmm. Kreurheim? - Yes. 612 00:52:45,875 --> 00:52:48,158 - I'm trying to find- - Local history. Hmm. 613 00:52:50,135 --> 00:52:51,545 I'm sorry? 614 00:52:51,545 --> 00:52:52,795 I think I can help you. 615 00:52:54,485 --> 00:52:57,158 - Really? - Yes. I'll be back. 616 00:53:21,995 --> 00:53:22,828 With this. 617 00:53:24,942 --> 00:53:27,215 "Kreurheim Vampire Cults." 618 00:53:27,215 --> 00:53:29,408 Holy shit it's here. God! 619 00:53:31,265 --> 00:53:33,845 Seriously, thanks. I would've never found this on my own. 620 00:53:33,845 --> 00:53:34,678 I swear. 621 00:53:34,678 --> 00:53:36,968 You are a fantastic librarian. 622 00:53:38,325 --> 00:53:39,775 Who said I was a librarian? 623 00:53:46,195 --> 00:53:50,778 Christ, why does stuff like this always happen to me? 624 00:54:40,036 --> 00:54:42,203 Jesus Christ. I'm sorry. 625 00:54:44,127 --> 00:54:44,960 Come on. 626 00:54:53,054 --> 00:54:55,883 Come on, you piece of shit. Come on. 627 00:54:55,883 --> 00:54:57,133 Ow! God dammit! 628 00:54:59,540 --> 00:55:00,761 Oh, please forgive me. 629 00:55:00,761 --> 00:55:02,880 Please forgive me. Okay. 630 00:55:04,012 --> 00:55:04,845 Okay. 631 00:57:12,593 --> 00:57:16,843 Hey Alex, I love what you've done with the place. 632 00:57:18,064 --> 00:57:22,731 What do you got? 633 00:57:30,965 --> 00:57:31,958 That's the place. 634 00:57:33,455 --> 00:57:35,045 It was built in 1880. 635 00:57:35,045 --> 00:57:37,015 Whatever he's doing now, he was trying 636 00:57:37,015 --> 00:57:39,095 to do the same thing back then. 637 00:57:39,095 --> 00:57:41,045 He just couldn't make it work. 638 00:57:41,045 --> 00:57:42,698 Wait, what, what is this book? 639 00:57:43,962 --> 00:57:45,455 "Death Cults Through the Ages." 640 00:57:45,455 --> 00:57:49,028 Let me read this to you. This is a quote, 641 00:57:51,192 --> 00:57:56,005 "SO speaks Senor Arturo Valenor of the family Valenor. 642 00:57:56,005 --> 00:57:59,045 'I have labored in the shadows for a very long time 643 00:57:59,045 --> 00:58:01,565 to bring forth a great change in the world. 644 00:58:01,565 --> 00:58:04,565 A change that will be forged in passion and blood. 645 00:58:04,565 --> 00:58:06,995 When the final sacrifice is performed 646 00:58:06,995 --> 00:58:09,973 before the great convocation of my followers, 647 00:58:09,973 --> 00:58:12,452 the world of the living will be overthrown 648 00:58:12,452 --> 00:58:15,115 and the Lord of the eternal night will rule.'" 649 00:58:16,145 --> 00:58:17,588 Here, listen to this. 650 00:58:19,272 --> 00:58:22,025 "Multiple reports, screams in the night 651 00:58:22,025 --> 00:58:25,391 and horrible odors coming from the Kreurheim mansion." 652 00:58:25,391 --> 00:58:26,645 Kreurheim mansion? 653 00:58:26,645 --> 00:58:28,085 Right, that's that big closed up place 654 00:58:28,085 --> 00:58:29,195 out by Regency Park. 655 00:58:29,195 --> 00:58:30,882 It's right here in town. 656 00:58:30,882 --> 00:58:33,776 "Police conducted a raid in the summer of 1892. 657 00:58:33,776 --> 00:58:36,975 In the basement, they found the torn, decayed 658 00:58:38,277 --> 00:58:39,815 and partially devoured remains 659 00:58:39,815 --> 00:58:41,918 of over 200 women and children. 660 00:58:43,805 --> 00:58:46,175 Evidence suggested unholy ritualistic acts 661 00:58:46,175 --> 00:58:48,812 conducted both before and after death." 662 00:58:50,465 --> 00:58:51,298 Lovely. 663 00:58:52,602 --> 00:58:55,658 "No trace was ever found of Valenor or his followers. 664 00:58:56,495 --> 00:59:00,035 Ownership of the mansion was passed to a single relative 665 00:59:00,035 --> 00:59:02,285 who has sealed up the property. 666 00:59:02,285 --> 00:59:04,985 It has been maintained unoccupied for over a century." 667 00:59:07,415 --> 00:59:08,498 Alex, look at this. 668 00:59:11,045 --> 00:59:12,965 Don't you see, Alex? 669 00:59:12,965 --> 00:59:16,415 It's them. All three of them. 670 00:59:16,415 --> 00:59:18,215 They haven't aged. 671 00:59:18,215 --> 00:59:20,225 Yeah. Yeah. I see. 672 00:59:20,225 --> 00:59:21,515 This is what he's trying do. 673 00:59:21,515 --> 00:59:25,598 It's what he's been trying to do since, since back then. 674 00:59:27,215 --> 00:59:29,915 This motherfucker isn't just looking for blood and tits. 675 00:59:29,915 --> 00:59:32,705 He's trying to destroy the whole fucking world. 676 00:59:32,705 --> 00:59:34,355 I mean, he hasn't had much luck though, right? 677 00:59:34,355 --> 00:59:37,115 Because it's been, what, like a hundred and something years? 678 00:59:37,115 --> 00:59:38,825 Goddammit. Don't you get it? 679 00:59:38,825 --> 00:59:40,925 They didn't have live streaming back then. 680 00:59:42,005 --> 00:59:43,505 Don't you see what he's doing? 681 00:59:44,825 --> 00:59:48,518 He needs some critical mass. 682 00:59:50,435 --> 00:59:52,505 That's what all this is about. 683 00:59:52,505 --> 00:59:55,475 Look, see. 684 00:59:55,475 --> 00:59:57,368 The stars, just right. 685 00:59:58,865 --> 01:00:01,385 The number of worshipers, just right. 686 01:00:01,385 --> 01:00:03,155 The sacrifices, just right. 687 01:00:03,155 --> 01:00:04,992 The rituals, just- - No, no. 688 01:00:09,095 --> 01:00:12,848 Jesus Christ, Alex, Don't give me that look. 689 01:00:14,555 --> 01:00:16,955 Don't tell me you suddenly don't believe it. 690 01:00:16,955 --> 01:00:19,145 This is what's happening right now. 691 01:00:19,145 --> 01:00:20,285 Okay. Right. 692 01:00:20,285 --> 01:00:22,475 So what are we supposed to do? 693 01:00:22,475 --> 01:00:23,505 Go over there and stake him through the heart. 694 01:00:23,505 --> 01:00:26,255 They, they would kill us in two seconds. 695 01:00:26,255 --> 01:00:27,365 We can't just let this- 696 01:00:27,365 --> 01:00:29,645 Okay, let's, let's just, let's just think about this. 697 01:00:29,645 --> 01:00:30,478 Okay? 698 01:00:33,035 --> 01:00:35,975 He didn't want anybody to know this stuff, right? 699 01:00:35,975 --> 01:00:37,235 To, to know who he is, 700 01:00:37,235 --> 01:00:39,815 where he lives, what he's trying to do. 701 01:00:39,815 --> 01:00:43,718 So we do like I said, we put it up and let people see it. 702 01:00:44,699 --> 01:00:46,565 And, and, and maybe, you know, maybe that, 703 01:00:46,565 --> 01:00:47,645 that screws the whole thing up. 704 01:00:47,645 --> 01:00:48,785 It blows up the ritual. 705 01:00:48,785 --> 01:00:50,405 - Alex. - No, no. Come on. 706 01:00:50,405 --> 01:00:52,595 We gotta get this streaming before sunset. 707 01:00:52,595 --> 01:00:54,781 Jesus, I don't know if we have the time. 708 01:00:54,781 --> 01:00:55,614 It's all- - It doesn't matter. 709 01:00:55,614 --> 01:00:56,447 It's fine. 710 01:00:56,447 --> 01:00:58,228 Come on, we'll get it streaming and just let it go. Come on. 711 01:01:18,845 --> 01:01:23,845 And now it's time for Alexander's "Church of Chills." 712 01:01:28,295 --> 01:01:30,815 This is an emergency broadcast. 713 01:01:30,815 --> 01:01:35,815 Listen, this is Kreurheim, built in the 1800s. 714 01:01:36,755 --> 01:01:41,045 It has been the scene of nightmares and murders. 715 01:01:41,045 --> 01:01:42,965 It still is. 716 01:01:42,965 --> 01:01:45,365 This man is Arturo Valenor, 717 01:01:45,365 --> 01:01:50,365 only he's not just a man, he's something else. 718 01:01:50,885 --> 01:01:55,775 One of the undead, a vampire who feeds on human blood. 719 01:01:55,775 --> 01:01:58,415 He's there right now at Kreurheim. 720 01:01:58,415 --> 01:02:00,335 And what he was trying to do back then, 721 01:02:00,335 --> 01:02:02,855 he is still trying to do right now. 722 01:02:02,855 --> 01:02:04,055 He's trying to destroy 723 01:02:04,055 --> 01:02:06,785 the whole, fucking- 724 01:02:06,785 --> 01:02:07,618 What the hell? 725 01:02:08,495 --> 01:02:11,435 Alex the feed. What happened to the feed? 726 01:02:11,435 --> 01:02:12,458 How should I know. 727 01:02:14,645 --> 01:02:15,478 It's him. 728 01:02:16,685 --> 01:02:19,025 Some of you no doubt have been tuning in 729 01:02:19,025 --> 01:02:23,135 to Mr. Jarvis's "Church of Chills." 730 01:02:23,135 --> 01:02:25,898 We here at Kreurheim have been enjoying it all evening. 731 01:02:26,915 --> 01:02:30,098 But now we have other business to attend to. 732 01:02:31,385 --> 01:02:34,655 I'm sure all of you accept our invitation 733 01:02:34,655 --> 01:02:37,868 to take part in this ritual. 734 01:02:55,745 --> 01:02:56,912 Jesus. 735 01:02:56,912 --> 01:02:58,655 Alex, do you know how many people 736 01:02:58,655 --> 01:03:00,005 are watching this right now? 737 01:03:00,005 --> 01:03:00,838 Christ, Eddie. 738 01:03:00,838 --> 01:03:03,053 I don't think right now is the time for that. 739 01:03:03,053 --> 01:03:03,970 185, 187. 740 01:03:05,072 --> 01:03:06,575 And that's just us. 741 01:03:06,575 --> 01:03:07,478 What the fuck? 742 01:03:08,766 --> 01:03:11,705 I mean, how did he even know that we were gonna be stream... 743 01:03:11,705 --> 01:03:13,235 What are the numbers on his stream? 744 01:03:13,235 --> 01:03:15,548 No good. He's locked us out again. 745 01:03:55,985 --> 01:04:00,215 Oh shit. The sacrifice, fuck, it's Junie. 746 01:04:00,215 --> 01:04:03,347 Oh my god. Fuck, what do we do? 747 01:04:03,347 --> 01:04:04,180 Oh my God. 748 01:04:05,317 --> 01:04:09,057 Fuck! You fucking leave her alone, you asshole! 749 01:04:47,649 --> 01:04:48,482 Oh my God. 750 01:04:50,607 --> 01:04:52,012 What do you want from us? 751 01:04:52,012 --> 01:04:53,429 What do I want? 752 01:04:55,554 --> 01:04:59,113 What does a cat want with a mouse? 753 01:04:59,113 --> 01:05:01,870 Come on. 754 01:05:12,618 --> 01:05:14,246 Ah! 755 01:05:26,799 --> 01:05:27,799 He's gone. 756 01:05:54,059 --> 01:05:56,059 What a terrible shame. 757 01:05:57,848 --> 01:05:59,265 So pale and pure. 758 01:06:02,632 --> 01:06:05,882 Oh, if I had the time to truly enjoy... 759 01:06:09,984 --> 01:06:12,234 their untouchable delights. 760 01:06:16,109 --> 01:06:18,962 So are these. 761 01:06:18,962 --> 01:06:23,962 Aargh! 762 01:06:56,175 --> 01:06:58,592 There's someone down there. 763 01:07:48,095 --> 01:07:49,262 Who's there? 764 01:07:57,523 --> 01:07:58,356 What? 765 01:07:59,411 --> 01:08:01,361 I thought I told you to stop smoking. 766 01:08:05,315 --> 01:08:06,235 I said... 767 01:08:09,005 --> 01:08:09,838 Put it out. 768 01:08:12,035 --> 01:08:12,868 Junie. 769 01:08:18,345 --> 01:08:22,148 Junie what happened? Are you okay? 770 01:08:22,148 --> 01:08:23,498 Yes. I'm quite all right. 771 01:08:25,265 --> 01:08:27,265 Everything turned out just as I planned. 772 01:08:29,435 --> 01:08:30,785 I was worried for some time 773 01:08:30,785 --> 01:08:34,268 that you two fools wouldn't play your appointed roles, 774 01:08:36,065 --> 01:08:37,268 but in the end, 775 01:08:38,765 --> 01:08:42,032 you perform the final sacrifice admirably. 776 01:08:44,440 --> 01:08:46,713 I don't understand. 777 01:08:46,713 --> 01:08:48,871 Wh-what's going on. 778 01:08:48,871 --> 01:08:51,538 Yes, I was worried about that. 779 01:08:52,497 --> 01:08:55,599 Alex, you idiot. It's not Junie. 780 01:08:55,599 --> 01:08:56,432 What? 781 01:09:11,577 --> 01:09:15,244 Listen to them, the children of the night, 782 01:09:17,649 --> 01:09:19,778 what music they make. 54486

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