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hoetinkhof79
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Oh, no!
3
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Ow, ow! Hot!
4
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That was quite a crash, son.
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Oh, look at that goose egg.
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Where are your parents, sweetie?
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I don't know.
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How old are you?
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10, 11?
10
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I--I don't know.
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The crash must have rung your bell.
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Well, let's start simple. You got a name?
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I don't know!
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I don't know! Shh, shh!
15
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Hey, hey, it's okay. Let me help you.
16
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I can help get you home safe.
17
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Wait!
18
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Fat chance, kid! Watkyn's storm's a comin'.
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Hey, that's my car!
20
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Who is this asshole?
21
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Give me those glasses. The sun's bullying me.
22
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I can't, I'm dyin'.
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Say nice things at my funeral.
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Take the time to speak highly of my good deeds.
25
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Man, dudes cannot handle hangovers for shit.
26
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No hangovers in New San Francisco,
27
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I'll tell you that.
28
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Oh, I had this sexy pork tenderloin last time.
29
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God, I can't wait.
30
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I can't wait for a dog.
31
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Nah, too gamey.
32
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What? No! Not to eat.
33
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Oh.
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I always wanted a pet.
35
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You know, like a wolfdog with three legs named Patrick.
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I'm not taking care of a dog.
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Nobody asked you to!
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Well, we're living together. I mean...
39
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What? Are we living together?
40
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What? No!
41
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What? No! Why? No!
42
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I mean, like living together in the same city.
43
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Oh.
44
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You call me to walk your dog when you're not home,
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at your home, and I'm home at my home.
46
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See, two separate homes.
47
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So, that makes two homes.
48
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Hmm.
49
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Unless you want to live together.
50
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Do you? I don't know.
51
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Do you?
52
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You seem like a shitty roommate.
53
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I mean, you can't even share your fuckin' sunglasses.
54
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Yeah, I can share my shitty popcorn.
55
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Wow, your aim is so good.
56
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Oh, shit!
57
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Is this the infamous photo?
58
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Hey! Dude, what the hell happened?
59
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You were so cute.
60
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Take it easy with that. Oh!
61
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This is the only photo you have of your past life
62
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and you keep it in your visor.
63
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I think I can handle holding it for one...
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Shit!
65
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I fuckin' told you to be careful.
66
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Stupid!
67
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Hey, I said stay back with Evelyn and watch the package.
68
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I can do two things.
69
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How old were you in that photo anyway?
70
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How does anyone keep track of that shit?
71
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I mean, birthdays, moon phases,
72
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cut your dick open and count the rings.
73
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Can we just focus on finding the picture?
74
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We're running out of day light.
75
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Oh, found it!
76
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Ah-ah, what do you say?
77
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Don't drop it again. Hmm.
78
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Come on, get in the car!
79
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No, no, no, no!
80
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Ugh!
81
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Fucking holy men!
82
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Goddamn...
83
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I can't believe some fucking holy men stole our--
84
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What the fuck did you do?
85
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John. Fuck.
86
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Okay, we've been walking for an hour and you haven't said shit.
87
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I don't know what else to say, John.
88
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I fucked up.
89
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If you want to focus on being mad, then... go ahead.
90
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I guess we'll just walk until we die.
91
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This isn't the first time I lost Evelyn.
92
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Vultures took her one time, Necros another time.
93
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Oh, shit!
94
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One time I just forgot where I parked her.
95
00:05:08,800 --> 00:05:10,510
Okay, well, that's stupid.
96
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Yeah, it's stupid, but every time I've lost her,
97
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she's come back to me.
98
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Then let me help you find her this time.
99
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Please.
100
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Fine.
101
00:05:30,290 --> 00:05:31,790
Wait, wait! Where you going?
102
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I'm following the bells. That's where Evelyn is.
103
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We can't just waltz into a holy man murder-palooza.
104
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You saw what those fuckers did to the convoy's milkman.
105
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Evelyn is so close. We need to go get her back.
106
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And I can't do it by myself.
107
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So, what do you say, partner?
108
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Okay.
109
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Let's go get your car.
110
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Great. What?
111
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We've gotta go get those masks off
112
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those holy men we killed so we can blend in.
113
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Isn't that like an hour that way?
114
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I'm just gonna wait here.
115
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Did you hear me?
116
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He didn't hear me.
117
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Please, please.
118
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Ugh!
119
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Stomach, shut up!
120
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Oh...
121
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Oh.
122
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Nasty!
123
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Excuse me, sir.
124
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Too bad.
125
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TP, beans...
126
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Whoa!
127
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Jackpot!
128
00:08:13,920 --> 00:08:16,420
Sounds like this is it.
129
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I don't love how moist this mask is.
130
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At least your guy didn't have a beard.
131
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I'm gonna be pullin' face pubes out of my mouth all night.
132
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Ick!
133
00:08:29,610 --> 00:08:31,570
Also, we gotta work on your dude voice.
134
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Dude voice? Yeah.
135
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Holy men. You gotta fit in.
136
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Go deep, let me hear it.
137
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Um...
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I love killing and guns, I do.
139
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Just try not to talk. Right-o, governor!
140
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I'm gonna kill you.
141
00:08:56,100 --> 00:08:58,300
Well, I'm gonna kill you. Let's do it.
142
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Cool party, huh?
143
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Dinner for the sinner!
144
00:09:05,770 --> 00:09:07,510
Holy shit!
145
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How are these guys not dead already?
146
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Stop staring. Just blend in.
147
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My man!
148
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I want that! Too fuckin' bad!
149
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From one brother to another, I propose a clash.
150
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Let it begin!
151
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At least they're having a good time.
152
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Uh, he's not.
153
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Holy shit!
154
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Maybe he deserved it.
155
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I didn't.
156
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Cool. I hate this place.
157
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Kiss my leather!
158
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We worship you! Bend down.
159
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Okay, Evelyn has to be here.
160
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So, just blend in with these freaks
161
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until we find her.
162
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Damn, very flexible.
163
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Oh, shit! Uh, uh...
164
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Oh, bullocks.
165
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Who told you to speak?
166
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Agh!
167
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You like pain?
168
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I love it so much, me lady!
169
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Damn. Good.
170
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Ow.
171
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The Goddess is pleased.
172
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Cupbearer? Yes, Goddess?
173
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Bring forth libations.
174
00:10:17,680 --> 00:10:19,680
Here.
175
00:10:20,850 --> 00:10:22,620
It's chug-a-lug time!
176
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Chug-a-lug!
177
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Chug-a-lug! Chug-a-lug! Chug-a-lug!
178
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Chug-a-lug!
179
00:10:33,930 --> 00:10:36,100
Nothing like a Jack and coke.
180
00:10:36,230 --> 00:10:37,770
So, wait, why is it crunchy?
181
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That'd be the coke.
182
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It's Preacher. It's Preacher.
183
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The preacher's here.
184
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I love you, Preacher.
185
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Absolve my sins!
186
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I think the coke is kicking in.
187
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I can't feel my throat.
188
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I'm gonna shit myself.
189
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Night, night.
190
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Which one of you blessed fucks
191
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had seven days in the death pool?
192
00:11:12,270 --> 00:11:14,740
Blessings on you, Krevin!
193
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Victory runs in your veins.
194
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Go on, reward him!
195
00:11:21,180 --> 00:11:23,480
Here you go. Okay.
196
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Enjoy.
197
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Gods and Goddesses,
198
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it is my honor to be with you again
199
00:11:30,590 --> 00:11:34,790
here in Colorado for our annual pilgrimage,
200
00:11:35,020 --> 00:11:37,660
The Rocky Mountain Fuck Fest!
201
00:11:40,360 --> 00:11:45,600
Now, while we are indulging in the seven deadly delights,
202
00:11:45,800 --> 00:11:47,870
let us recall our past
203
00:11:48,000 --> 00:11:50,770
and celebrate our futures!
204
00:11:50,910 --> 00:11:54,580
Me? I was a man of God.
205
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Shit, I was even celibate.
206
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Shut the fuck up, Krevin.
207
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Oh, okay.
208
00:12:01,850 --> 00:12:04,490
But when the world ended,
209
00:12:04,620 --> 00:12:08,060
God was nowhere to be found.
210
00:12:08,390 --> 00:12:12,030
And I thought, huh! This fucker's forsaken us.
211
00:12:12,360 --> 00:12:16,530
Right? But then I realized, no!
212
00:12:18,370 --> 00:12:20,140
We are the gods!
213
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Always have been, always will be.
214
00:12:24,270 --> 00:12:28,240
And the roads will be forever our domain!
215
00:12:35,080 --> 00:12:36,320
Great crowd work.
216
00:12:36,450 --> 00:12:37,820
I can hear you grinding your teeth.
217
00:12:37,950 --> 00:12:39,290
Dude, that's you!
218
00:12:40,660 --> 00:12:41,860
Now...
219
00:12:42,660 --> 00:12:45,360
what gifts did you motherfuckers bring me?
220
00:12:45,490 --> 00:12:48,400
Ooh, is that a generator I see?
221
00:12:48,530 --> 00:12:51,830
Okay. Uh, gasoline, got it.
222
00:12:51,970 --> 00:12:54,740
Okay, guns. Guns, drugs.
223
00:12:54,870 --> 00:12:58,570
Okay, guys, you gotta get more creative than just drugs.
224
00:12:58,710 --> 00:12:59,840
Here you go, Preacher.
225
00:12:59,910 --> 00:13:02,540
Okay, that's just more drugs, Jeff.
226
00:13:02,680 --> 00:13:04,180
That's just more drugs.
227
00:13:08,150 --> 00:13:10,490
Well, now everybody shut the fuck up!
228
00:13:10,620 --> 00:13:13,620
Hold on! Oh-ho-ho!
229
00:13:13,760 --> 00:13:16,990
Holy shit!
230
00:13:17,930 --> 00:13:20,960
Hey, what are you doing? Where are you going? John!
231
00:13:21,100 --> 00:13:23,100
A token for you, Preacher.
232
00:13:23,600 --> 00:13:28,500
What a hot piece of ass!
233
00:13:28,640 --> 00:13:30,570
Ooh-ooh-ooh.
234
00:13:34,310 --> 00:13:36,080
I should lube up with oil
235
00:13:36,210 --> 00:13:38,550
and dick your muffler.
236
00:13:38,680 --> 00:13:41,380
Dick her muff! Dick her muff!
237
00:13:41,520 --> 00:13:44,120
Dick her muff! Dick her muff!
238
00:13:44,250 --> 00:13:46,320
Don't touch her!
239
00:13:47,020 --> 00:13:49,260
Who spoke?
240
00:14:00,440 --> 00:14:02,770
Your tone sounded...
241
00:14:04,010 --> 00:14:05,040
envious.
242
00:14:05,170 --> 00:14:06,540
I like that.
243
00:14:09,510 --> 00:14:10,810
You want her, don't you?
244
00:14:10,950 --> 00:14:13,350
Say no. Say no. Say no. Say no.
245
00:14:13,480 --> 00:14:17,920
From one brother to another,
246
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I propose a clash.
247
00:14:22,320 --> 00:14:24,160
Oh, yeah.
248
00:14:28,100 --> 00:14:30,700
Oh, that guy is fucked!
249
00:14:38,070 --> 00:14:40,140
Are you ready, son?
250
00:14:46,810 --> 00:14:48,720
So, what's your plan here, stud?
251
00:14:48,850 --> 00:14:49,990
Have you seen this guy?
252
00:14:50,120 --> 00:14:51,490
A strong wind can blow him over.
253
00:14:51,620 --> 00:14:53,960
I'm gonna kick his ass so bad I'm gonna be their king.
254
00:14:54,020 --> 00:14:55,120
That's the blow talking!
255
00:14:58,160 --> 00:14:59,560
Oh, God!
256
00:15:02,970 --> 00:15:05,970
Oof, Coke Jesus has a right hook!
257
00:15:06,070 --> 00:15:08,800
I heard something crack. I think it was my brain.
258
00:15:08,970 --> 00:15:11,270
Listen up, he's fast, so keep your distance.
259
00:15:11,540 --> 00:15:13,140
You'll never get a good hit in if you're too close.
260
00:15:13,280 --> 00:15:15,240
Honestly-- I told you I got this.
261
00:15:15,380 --> 00:15:17,250
Hit me. What? John?
262
00:15:17,380 --> 00:15:19,410
Fine, you're on your own.
263
00:15:20,420 --> 00:15:21,480
Let's eat this guy!
264
00:15:21,620 --> 00:15:23,420
Surprise! Ah, my eyes!
265
00:15:28,020 --> 00:15:29,390
Ooh!
266
00:15:29,520 --> 00:15:31,830
Stay the fuck down, Preach!
267
00:15:35,330 --> 00:15:37,070
Whoo!
268
00:15:37,200 --> 00:15:38,870
You ever drink your own blood?
269
00:15:39,000 --> 00:15:41,000
It's intoxicating.
270
00:15:43,040 --> 00:15:45,170
What the f-- Oh!
271
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Are you possessed?
272
00:15:48,740 --> 00:15:51,880
I was once. By a little demon baby.
273
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Fucker made me kill a whole church of people.
274
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Here we go!
275
00:15:57,420 --> 00:15:59,620
I can still hear their screams.
276
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I can't wait to hear yours!
277
00:16:06,330 --> 00:16:07,660
I can't stop kicking!
278
00:16:07,800 --> 00:16:09,800
He's doing really well.
279
00:16:09,930 --> 00:16:11,330
Heh...
280
00:16:14,870 --> 00:16:17,740
The Holy Ghost lives through me.
281
00:16:19,140 --> 00:16:21,210
What should I do? Should I eat this guy?
282
00:16:21,340 --> 00:16:23,110
Should I fuck this guy?
283
00:16:23,250 --> 00:16:25,410
Dirt nap!
284
00:16:33,060 --> 00:16:35,460
Get on your knees, you greasy little piglet
285
00:16:35,590 --> 00:16:38,890
and lick my soiled boots.
286
00:16:39,060 --> 00:16:41,900
Oh! Yes, goddess.
287
00:16:42,060 --> 00:16:43,870
Please, goddess.
288
00:16:47,300 --> 00:16:52,110
Now, where are the keys to that car, vermin?
289
00:16:52,410 --> 00:16:54,480
I wanna take it for a ride.
290
00:16:54,610 --> 00:16:57,980
Wait! Goddesses only ride shotgun.
291
00:16:58,250 --> 00:17:00,180
That is our way.
292
00:17:00,320 --> 00:17:01,620
Not my way!
293
00:17:01,750 --> 00:17:04,850
Yes, please!
294
00:17:07,120 --> 00:17:08,490
Oh, where are you going?
295
00:17:48,760 --> 00:17:53,640
Yes! Yes!
296
00:17:53,770 --> 00:17:55,370
Take him to the cross!
297
00:17:58,510 --> 00:18:02,440
Oh, come on, guys!
298
00:18:02,580 --> 00:18:03,680
I've got a guy here
299
00:18:03,810 --> 00:18:05,280
perfectly ready for the cross.
300
00:18:05,550 --> 00:18:08,520
Meanwhile, this dead fucker is still up there!
301
00:18:08,650 --> 00:18:11,320
Say it with me.
302
00:18:11,450 --> 00:18:15,720
When the heart stops, the body drops.
303
00:18:15,860 --> 00:18:18,530
See? It's not that hard. Okay?
304
00:18:18,760 --> 00:18:20,560
Now the whole vibe is ruined.
305
00:18:20,700 --> 00:18:22,730
I-I guess take the new guy to timeout
306
00:18:22,860 --> 00:18:25,970
and-and take that fucker down.
307
00:18:26,170 --> 00:18:27,470
Don't let it ruin your night!
308
00:18:27,600 --> 00:18:29,170
It's too late, Janice!
309
00:18:42,280 --> 00:18:43,850
Huh?
310
00:18:47,190 --> 00:18:49,020
Come out! I heard you!
311
00:18:51,430 --> 00:18:52,830
Hey!
312
00:18:52,960 --> 00:18:55,030
Hey, whoa! Take it easy, okay?
313
00:18:55,200 --> 00:18:57,430
I-I'm just looking for some food.
314
00:18:57,570 --> 00:18:58,870
You haven't got any, do you?
315
00:18:59,000 --> 00:19:00,370
Go away, butthead!
316
00:19:00,500 --> 00:19:01,600
Whoa, I'm not gonna hurt you.
317
00:19:01,740 --> 00:19:03,510
I said go away!
318
00:19:03,640 --> 00:19:04,770
Fuck!
319
00:19:04,910 --> 00:19:07,380
Ugh, what the hell did you do that for?
320
00:19:07,510 --> 00:19:09,280
Got me right in the veneers.
321
00:19:09,410 --> 00:19:11,710
I'm sorry, I was aiming for your balls.
322
00:19:11,850 --> 00:19:13,480
Well, that would have hurt, too.
323
00:19:13,620 --> 00:19:16,580
But that's okay. You can make it up to me.
324
00:19:16,920 --> 00:19:19,620
Huh? 'Cause it's dinnertime.
325
00:19:19,750 --> 00:19:21,990
He's alone! Soo-ey!
326
00:19:22,120 --> 00:19:23,690
Dinner time!
327
00:19:23,830 --> 00:19:27,730
Child back on the menu, boys.
328
00:19:27,860 --> 00:19:29,860
I love veal!
329
00:19:31,770 --> 00:19:32,900
We're gonna getcha.
330
00:19:33,030 --> 00:19:34,570
Please, please, please, please!
331
00:19:34,700 --> 00:19:37,370
Come on!
332
00:19:37,510 --> 00:19:38,370
Hey there!
333
00:19:42,810 --> 00:19:44,250
Fuck you!
334
00:19:47,950 --> 00:19:50,950
Krevin, you're a fucking dunce!
335
00:19:51,090 --> 00:19:53,290
This fuckin' idiot can't even get a hose
336
00:19:53,420 --> 00:19:55,660
long enough to fill up my new baby.
337
00:19:55,790 --> 00:19:57,990
Dented Evelyn's hood, you asshole.
338
00:19:58,130 --> 00:19:59,990
So, you lost, huh?
339
00:20:00,130 --> 00:20:01,500
You don't know that.
340
00:20:01,630 --> 00:20:03,030
This could be a winner's cage.
341
00:20:03,270 --> 00:20:04,330
Pssh.
342
00:20:09,000 --> 00:20:10,470
I got us some wheels.
343
00:20:10,610 --> 00:20:12,010
Piece of shit,
344
00:20:12,140 --> 00:20:13,480
but it'll get us out of this nightmare carnival.
345
00:20:13,610 --> 00:20:15,080
I'm not leaving her.
346
00:20:16,210 --> 00:20:17,910
What? John, are you kidding?
347
00:20:18,050 --> 00:20:19,250
You almost died!
348
00:20:19,380 --> 00:20:20,480
I can't believe I have to say this,
349
00:20:20,620 --> 00:20:21,820
but it's just a car, John.
350
00:20:21,950 --> 00:20:24,890
You don't get it. No, I don't!
351
00:20:26,590 --> 00:20:28,790
But I fought and bled.
352
00:20:28,920 --> 00:20:32,130
I got whipped, I drank coke for you.
353
00:20:32,890 --> 00:20:34,900
And your car.
354
00:20:35,030 --> 00:20:37,200
And now you say I don't get it?
355
00:20:38,870 --> 00:20:40,340
Fuck you!
356
00:20:42,140 --> 00:20:43,940
What happened to us being partners, huh?
357
00:20:44,070 --> 00:20:46,110
I'm not leaving Evelyn.
358
00:20:46,540 --> 00:20:50,180
And I'm not dying for a fucking car.
359
00:20:51,710 --> 00:20:53,320
Preacher, Preacher!
360
00:20:53,550 --> 00:20:55,650
Someone attacked Fenchy and took a car!
361
00:20:55,780 --> 00:20:58,090
What? Seal the camp!
362
00:20:58,220 --> 00:21:00,820
Seal the camp! Seal the camp!
363
00:21:04,690 --> 00:21:06,930
We have to leave.
364
00:21:07,060 --> 00:21:09,930
Now, John!
365
00:21:10,530 --> 00:21:12,100
Then go.
366
00:21:33,360 --> 00:21:34,820
All right, where to next?
367
00:21:34,960 --> 00:21:36,520
We can go anywhere you want.
368
00:21:36,660 --> 00:21:37,760
Your choice.
369
00:21:43,160 --> 00:21:45,030
Or not.
370
00:21:58,480 --> 00:22:01,420
I owe you for saving me back there.
371
00:22:01,550 --> 00:22:03,490
I'll fix you up, I promise.
372
00:22:04,690 --> 00:22:07,890
Just you, me, and the road.
373
00:22:08,020 --> 00:22:09,490
Sounds good?
374
00:22:20,670 --> 00:22:23,040
Oh, thank God. I'm here, Evelyn, baby.
375
00:22:23,170 --> 00:22:24,610
Let's get the hell out of here.
376
00:22:26,410 --> 00:22:28,040
I admire your thirst.
377
00:22:28,180 --> 00:22:30,280
But if anybody's gonna fuck this car,
378
00:22:30,410 --> 00:22:31,750
it's gonna be me.
379
00:22:46,530 --> 00:22:49,500
You're not worthy of the mask.
380
00:22:49,830 --> 00:22:50,870
Good, it chafes.
381
00:22:53,500 --> 00:22:56,800
For I am the angel of death!
382
00:22:56,940 --> 00:23:00,140
And I release you!
383
00:23:04,150 --> 00:23:05,580
No.
384
00:23:06,810 --> 00:23:08,150
No, no, no.
385
00:23:10,920 --> 00:23:14,790
Fuck. Fuck!
386
00:23:49,490 --> 00:23:51,760
Hurry up! Watch the Preacher's head.
387
00:23:51,890 --> 00:23:53,500
Don't lose those!
388
00:23:54,330 --> 00:23:55,500
That's the last of us.
389
00:23:55,560 --> 00:23:58,300
Drive, prick! Yes, Goddess.
390
00:24:07,840 --> 00:24:09,210
Oh!
391
00:24:09,340 --> 00:24:11,410
Oh, shit!
392
00:24:14,250 --> 00:24:16,520
Oh, oh, my head.
393
00:24:25,030 --> 00:24:26,130
No.
25249
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