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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:13,340 --> 00:00:15,540 hoetinkhof79 All right, everybody! 2 00:00:15,680 --> 00:00:18,150 Who's ready for "Billy & 2 Scoops?" 3 00:00:22,020 --> 00:00:23,150 Stand by for first team. 4 00:00:29,330 --> 00:00:30,460 I don't get it. 5 00:00:30,660 --> 00:00:32,100 The show has always been called "2 Scoops." 6 00:00:32,230 --> 00:00:35,130 They can't just add Billy to the title for no reason. 7 00:00:35,260 --> 00:00:37,570 Marcus, honey, they have a great reason. 8 00:00:37,700 --> 00:00:40,670 Everyone loves Billy! I know I do. 9 00:00:40,800 --> 00:00:42,740 But I'm the lead. So what? 10 00:00:42,870 --> 00:00:44,840 Billy gets a few laughs. Now, he's the next Urkel? 11 00:00:44,970 --> 00:00:47,680 I mean, even Billy's fanclub is twice the size of mine. 12 00:00:47,810 --> 00:00:49,650 Well, he's twice as funny. 13 00:00:49,780 --> 00:00:52,350 Stop it. Your dad is so bad. 14 00:00:52,680 --> 00:00:55,180 Well, at least he's not my real dad. 15 00:00:56,850 --> 00:00:59,220 You know, you should thank your lucky stars for that. 16 00:00:59,360 --> 00:01:01,190 Hmm? 17 00:01:01,690 --> 00:01:02,990 You'd still be living in a taxi cab 18 00:01:03,130 --> 00:01:05,560 if your unhinged father didn't go to jail. 19 00:01:06,930 --> 00:01:08,630 Go, take your mark. 20 00:01:09,130 --> 00:01:10,230 All right. 21 00:01:10,370 --> 00:01:11,570 We're gettin' ready to go. 22 00:01:14,870 --> 00:01:16,240 All right, gang, 23 00:01:16,370 --> 00:01:17,870 we've got a great show for you today. 24 00:01:18,010 --> 00:01:19,710 We hope you all... 25 00:01:23,750 --> 00:01:27,980 Okay, here we go. Ready, three, two, one. 26 00:01:33,960 --> 00:01:37,260 Mmm. Lenny Scoops, you slow down! 27 00:01:37,390 --> 00:01:39,330 You'll hurt your tummy. 28 00:01:39,460 --> 00:01:41,160 Oh, yeah? 29 00:01:42,170 --> 00:01:44,800 Tell that to my sweet tooth! 30 00:01:49,970 --> 00:01:52,680 We have to open the ice cream store. 31 00:01:53,040 --> 00:01:56,710 I wonder what's taking Billy so long? 32 00:02:03,290 --> 00:02:05,290 He's so cute! 33 00:02:08,590 --> 00:02:12,430 Marcus! 34 00:02:14,960 --> 00:02:18,900 Marcus, it's your line. 35 00:02:23,670 --> 00:02:25,240 Oh! 36 00:02:31,850 --> 00:02:34,250 Oh, my fucking God! Holy shit! 37 00:02:36,080 --> 00:02:37,620 Who's a good boy now, Billy? 38 00:02:42,260 --> 00:02:44,130 God! Oh, shit! 39 00:02:50,230 --> 00:02:51,130 Line? 40 00:03:00,840 --> 00:03:02,780 Hello? 41 00:03:03,710 --> 00:03:05,910 Anybody in there? 42 00:03:06,520 --> 00:03:09,350 How the hell am I supposed to pick up this package? 43 00:03:09,490 --> 00:03:10,550 Cross the moat. 44 00:03:10,690 --> 00:03:12,020 Hell no! You go. 45 00:03:12,150 --> 00:03:13,920 Uh, that water is gross as fuck. 46 00:03:14,060 --> 00:03:16,060 I'm not swimming in that toilet river. 47 00:03:20,760 --> 00:03:22,000 This doesn't make any sense. 48 00:03:22,300 --> 00:03:23,730 I'm gonna throw a rock at it. 49 00:03:23,870 --> 00:03:25,430 Oh, great idea, genius. 50 00:03:35,840 --> 00:03:37,150 Don't you say it. 51 00:03:37,450 --> 00:03:39,050 Um... Oh! 52 00:03:39,180 --> 00:03:42,050 Right here. I-I told you so. 53 00:03:49,290 --> 00:03:50,860 This way. 54 00:03:50,990 --> 00:03:53,930 The fuck? Where are you goin'? 55 00:03:54,060 --> 00:03:55,860 You heard the creepy disembodied voice. 56 00:03:56,300 --> 00:03:58,770 "This way." Come on, coward. 57 00:03:58,900 --> 00:04:00,440 Getting warmer. 58 00:04:02,640 --> 00:04:03,740 Now he's giggling. 59 00:04:03,870 --> 00:04:05,110 I can't believe you're enjoying this. 60 00:04:05,310 --> 00:04:07,040 Oh, come on. It's like a haunted house. 61 00:04:07,180 --> 00:04:10,150 The smoke, the creepy lighting. I'm half expecting 62 00:04:10,310 --> 00:04:12,750 a vampire to just pop out of the smoke and say-- 63 00:04:12,880 --> 00:04:13,950 Hello. 64 00:04:14,080 --> 00:04:15,650 God-Oh, my God. 65 00:04:15,780 --> 00:04:17,520 You got me, man. 66 00:04:17,650 --> 00:04:19,460 Oh, please tell me you live down here. 67 00:04:21,160 --> 00:04:23,690 Oh, no. I don't live down here. 68 00:04:23,830 --> 00:04:25,330 Twist! 69 00:04:25,390 --> 00:04:26,830 I don't have time for this tomfoolery. 70 00:04:26,960 --> 00:04:28,330 Show yourself. 71 00:04:28,460 --> 00:04:30,600 Why would I reveal my face? 72 00:04:30,730 --> 00:04:34,340 You see, there's power in anonymity. 73 00:04:34,470 --> 00:04:35,900 Wait a minute. 74 00:04:36,040 --> 00:04:38,510 Are you Calypso? 75 00:04:38,640 --> 00:04:40,010 What? 76 00:04:40,140 --> 00:04:42,410 I read that name everywhere. "Believe in Calypso." 77 00:04:42,550 --> 00:04:45,810 "Calypso is real." Yeah! Are you him? 78 00:04:47,820 --> 00:04:49,650 I guess that means yes. Huh. 79 00:04:52,420 --> 00:04:55,160 Secret compartment. Choice. 80 00:04:57,260 --> 00:04:59,030 Hey, Calypso, I usually get a supply bump 81 00:04:59,160 --> 00:05:01,660 when picking up deliveries. We need gas, man. 82 00:05:01,800 --> 00:05:03,400 The package is what you've earned. 83 00:05:03,530 --> 00:05:07,740 No more, no less, no free handouts. 84 00:05:07,870 --> 00:05:09,810 Well, can we at least get a peek inside? 85 00:05:09,940 --> 00:05:11,370 Or a deep dish for the road? 86 00:05:11,470 --> 00:05:12,710 What are you gonna do with a dish? 87 00:05:12,840 --> 00:05:15,110 It's not a dish, dummy. It's a pizza. 88 00:05:15,540 --> 00:05:17,610 Oh, my God. Have you never had pizza? 89 00:05:17,750 --> 00:05:19,780 Oh, we have to try it. It's like, uh-- 90 00:05:19,920 --> 00:05:21,980 imagine a wheel made of bread and cheese. 91 00:05:22,120 --> 00:05:25,250 Oh, fuck. I want that. Yeah, we want that. 92 00:05:25,390 --> 00:05:28,220 You have what you need. Now, get. 93 00:05:28,390 --> 00:05:31,460 Take it back to Raven like a good milkman. 94 00:05:31,590 --> 00:05:35,900 Your San Francisco treat awaits. Ding ding. 95 00:05:36,030 --> 00:05:38,000 This is really well done. 96 00:05:38,130 --> 00:05:40,000 Thank you. 97 00:05:41,670 --> 00:05:46,010 Oh, and John, may all your wishes come true. 98 00:05:51,210 --> 00:05:52,720 That was cool. 99 00:05:57,420 --> 00:05:59,890 I mean, I gotta hand it to that Calypso guy. 100 00:06:00,020 --> 00:06:01,490 What a showman. 101 00:06:01,760 --> 00:06:03,790 Do you think that steam was actually coming from the pipes, 102 00:06:03,930 --> 00:06:05,930 or do you think it was dry ice 103 00:06:06,060 --> 00:06:07,700 that he filtered in for ambiance. 104 00:06:07,830 --> 00:06:09,200 I'm more concerned with making it 105 00:06:09,330 --> 00:06:11,100 to New San Francisco in one piece. 106 00:06:11,230 --> 00:06:13,240 Just let me take the wheel. 107 00:06:13,440 --> 00:06:14,670 I got it. See? 108 00:06:16,770 --> 00:06:19,440 Now we can't go back the way we came after Topeka, 109 00:06:19,540 --> 00:06:22,610 so now we're gonna have to go north and hook back around. 110 00:06:23,050 --> 00:06:25,150 Oh. There's a Pits. 111 00:06:26,180 --> 00:06:27,920 Cool. That sounds awesome. 112 00:06:28,050 --> 00:06:29,720 Should we stop at the Taints after? 113 00:06:29,850 --> 00:06:30,850 Funny. 114 00:06:30,990 --> 00:06:32,620 It's an old milkman pitstop. 115 00:06:32,760 --> 00:06:35,690 You stop off, share intel on delivery routes, 116 00:06:35,820 --> 00:06:38,490 gas up, maybe get some chow. Shit, maybe even a shower. 117 00:06:38,630 --> 00:06:42,360 Uh, why the fuck didn't we stop by one sooner? 118 00:06:42,500 --> 00:06:44,230 Well, 'cause there are only two of them left. 119 00:06:44,570 --> 00:06:46,370 They have very strict ground rules. 120 00:06:47,640 --> 00:06:50,710 Rule one- don't talk about your job. 121 00:06:50,840 --> 00:06:52,580 No one cares what you're moving, 122 00:06:52,710 --> 00:06:54,040 but what you're getting paid- that's a different story, 123 00:06:54,180 --> 00:06:55,780 so we leave it at the door. Mmm-hmm. 124 00:06:56,110 --> 00:06:58,350 Rule two- no weapons allowed. 125 00:06:58,480 --> 00:07:01,320 Anything can be a weapon. I stabbed you with a pen. 126 00:07:01,480 --> 00:07:04,120 What about your hands? You can strangle, pummel. 127 00:07:04,250 --> 00:07:07,760 You can thumb-fuck the eyes. Your hands aren't that strong. 128 00:07:09,690 --> 00:07:13,260 They seem pretty strong to me. I'll pull over. 129 00:07:13,400 --> 00:07:16,230 Why would you do that? We're on a schedule. 130 00:07:16,360 --> 00:07:20,170 Woah! Oh, got it. Oh- 131 00:07:28,380 --> 00:07:30,180 Roberts for Agent Stone. 132 00:07:30,310 --> 00:07:32,820 Come in Agent Stone. 133 00:07:34,150 --> 00:07:35,420 Go for Stone. 134 00:07:35,550 --> 00:07:37,020 Agent Stone, sir, it's-- 135 00:07:37,150 --> 00:07:38,650 Look, this better be about the mute and the milkman. 136 00:07:38,790 --> 00:07:40,520 Sir, it's the clown. 137 00:07:40,790 --> 00:07:42,190 Sweet Tooth hit our Colorado outpost, 138 00:07:42,320 --> 00:07:43,930 just like Utah and the dam. 139 00:07:44,060 --> 00:07:46,760 He killed everyone and took the prisoners with him. 140 00:07:46,900 --> 00:07:49,800 Fuck! Ah! Ugh! 141 00:07:49,930 --> 00:07:53,100 No. Oh, no. 142 00:07:53,240 --> 00:07:54,740 Also, not urgent, 143 00:07:54,870 --> 00:07:57,040 but there was a small snafu at the motor pool. 144 00:07:57,170 --> 00:07:58,940 Minor collision, Jamie and I are fine but-- 145 00:07:59,070 --> 00:08:00,540 Shut up, he doesn't want to hear it. 146 00:08:00,610 --> 00:08:01,840 You don't know that. 147 00:08:01,980 --> 00:08:02,710 Uh, sir, everything's fine. 148 00:08:02,850 --> 00:08:03,550 Listen. 149 00:08:03,850 --> 00:08:08,150 Nevada, Utah, Colorado. 150 00:08:08,550 --> 00:08:12,120 These are not just random attacks. 151 00:08:12,250 --> 00:08:16,060 That smiley faced son of a bitch is going somewhere. 152 00:08:28,300 --> 00:08:30,870 Now, don't go asking for different drink flavors. 153 00:08:31,010 --> 00:08:34,140 You get what you get, and you don't get upset. 154 00:08:34,680 --> 00:08:37,580 So, eat up and take your shits. 155 00:08:37,680 --> 00:08:39,580 Maybe play some pick-up basketball. 156 00:08:39,720 --> 00:08:42,180 No snack for you. You're with me. 157 00:08:42,320 --> 00:08:44,790 Come on. Sure. 158 00:08:44,920 --> 00:08:47,460 Harold! You're in charge. 159 00:08:49,590 --> 00:08:53,400 Uh, everything okay? Ah, sweet of you to ask. 160 00:08:53,600 --> 00:08:56,900 Look at my fan club. Growing every day. 161 00:08:57,030 --> 00:08:59,800 But not everybody believed in me. 162 00:08:59,940 --> 00:09:02,440 We didn't just stop here for poops and hoops. 163 00:09:02,840 --> 00:09:05,840 We're here for something important. 164 00:09:07,210 --> 00:09:08,610 What? 165 00:09:12,150 --> 00:09:14,120 Closure. 166 00:09:20,660 --> 00:09:23,290 Ow! Steering wheel. Ugh. 167 00:09:23,430 --> 00:09:27,360 Evelyn leave a love mark? She likes to play rough. 168 00:09:27,500 --> 00:09:30,800 She's not a real girl, John. I know. 169 00:09:31,930 --> 00:09:34,900 So, this is where the milkmen hang out. 170 00:09:35,040 --> 00:09:36,740 Wow, it really is the pits. 171 00:09:37,110 --> 00:09:39,040 All right, let's divide and conquer. 172 00:09:39,170 --> 00:09:40,340 My thoughts exactly. 173 00:09:40,680 --> 00:09:43,080 I bless you an honorary milkman. 174 00:09:43,210 --> 00:09:46,180 You gas up, I supply up. 175 00:09:47,920 --> 00:09:49,120 Hey. 176 00:09:59,700 --> 00:10:02,360 Hey piss flaps, I was next. 177 00:10:12,640 --> 00:10:15,610 At least get a girl off before treating her like shit. 178 00:10:15,740 --> 00:10:17,480 I outta choke you. 179 00:10:17,610 --> 00:10:19,650 Ooh, promise? 180 00:10:23,590 --> 00:10:24,550 Bye, Grady. 181 00:10:27,490 --> 00:10:29,190 He's got nothing. 182 00:10:29,320 --> 00:10:31,090 Tiny little penis. 183 00:10:31,230 --> 00:10:32,390 You're up. 184 00:10:32,530 --> 00:10:33,960 Thanks. 185 00:10:34,100 --> 00:10:36,530 I thought, uh, weapons weren't allowed. 186 00:10:38,670 --> 00:10:39,840 Oops! 187 00:10:45,070 --> 00:10:46,910 I haven't seen you around here. 188 00:10:47,040 --> 00:10:48,610 Are you taking over a territory? 189 00:10:48,740 --> 00:10:50,550 Oh, no. I'm here with-- 190 00:10:50,680 --> 00:10:52,210 Johnny? 191 00:10:52,350 --> 00:10:53,080 Mary? 192 00:10:53,220 --> 00:10:54,920 Oh, my God. 193 00:10:55,050 --> 00:10:56,990 Hmm. 194 00:10:58,590 --> 00:11:00,020 Hi. 195 00:11:01,390 --> 00:11:03,030 You left me for dead, asshole! 196 00:11:03,160 --> 00:11:04,960 I thought you were dead, asshole! 197 00:11:05,090 --> 00:11:06,800 I guess you two know each other? 198 00:11:07,160 --> 00:11:09,400 What- wait-wait-wait-wait. 199 00:11:09,530 --> 00:11:12,430 You're with this son of a bitch? 200 00:11:16,370 --> 00:11:18,740 How clenched do you think his butthole is right now? 201 00:11:18,870 --> 00:11:20,810 Oh, I'm gonna guess it's pretty tight. 202 00:11:20,940 --> 00:11:23,750 Mm-hm, like a teeny tiny starfish. 203 00:11:23,810 --> 00:11:25,050 Did you miss me? 204 00:11:31,020 --> 00:11:33,760 So seven shots in, 205 00:11:33,820 --> 00:11:36,320 Johnny bets me he can surf his car. 206 00:11:38,060 --> 00:11:39,830 We go out in the parking lot. He gets Evelyn to 60. 207 00:11:39,960 --> 00:11:43,030 And as he climbs through the window, bam! 208 00:11:43,630 --> 00:11:45,830 His ass ragdolls on the concrete. 209 00:11:47,270 --> 00:11:48,640 Just blood pouring out of his head. 210 00:11:48,770 --> 00:11:50,040 It's so funny, 211 00:11:50,170 --> 00:11:51,840 because he told me that he got that scar 212 00:11:51,970 --> 00:11:54,810 from a seven-on-one vulture car chase. 213 00:11:54,940 --> 00:11:56,410 That's how I got the other scar. 214 00:11:56,540 --> 00:11:58,110 Mm-hm. Uh-huh. 215 00:11:58,250 --> 00:11:59,850 So, how did you two meet? 216 00:11:59,980 --> 00:12:02,420 My mother, may she rest in peace, 217 00:12:02,550 --> 00:12:06,190 ran one of the first pits in sunny San Juan Capistrano. 218 00:12:06,320 --> 00:12:08,160 When she croaked, I took over 219 00:12:08,290 --> 00:12:10,690 and Johnny would pass through to, um-- 220 00:12:10,830 --> 00:12:12,490 what'cha call it? 221 00:12:12,630 --> 00:12:14,330 Drain your tank? 222 00:12:14,460 --> 00:12:15,430 Fill her up. 223 00:12:15,560 --> 00:12:16,630 Nuzzle the guzzle. 224 00:12:16,800 --> 00:12:18,800 C'mon, man. 225 00:12:19,070 --> 00:12:20,800 Then a gang of burnouts torched the place. 226 00:12:20,940 --> 00:12:22,700 A blessing in disguise, honestly. 227 00:12:23,040 --> 00:12:26,370 I would've done anything to get the hell out of there. 228 00:12:26,510 --> 00:12:27,980 Johnny knows. 229 00:12:28,110 --> 00:12:30,080 I heard about the fire. 230 00:12:30,210 --> 00:12:31,580 And you didn't come back for me? 231 00:12:31,710 --> 00:12:34,920 They said nobody survived. Well this bitch did. 232 00:12:36,180 --> 00:12:37,820 Luckily, I knew a place in a church 233 00:12:37,950 --> 00:12:40,060 where no one could find me. 234 00:12:40,190 --> 00:12:42,490 The bell tower? Oh, my God. 235 00:12:42,620 --> 00:12:44,160 I haven't thought about that place in ages. 236 00:12:44,290 --> 00:12:46,190 All the bird shit! The bird shit! 237 00:12:47,560 --> 00:12:49,000 Of course that's what you remember. 238 00:12:49,130 --> 00:12:51,730 We made love there. So now you're a milkman. 239 00:12:51,870 --> 00:12:54,340 Mm-hm. No thanks to you. 240 00:12:54,470 --> 00:12:56,340 I always wanted to be a milkman, 241 00:12:56,470 --> 00:12:59,840 but no one took me seriously. 242 00:12:59,940 --> 00:13:01,980 Ain't that right, Johnny? 243 00:13:03,950 --> 00:13:05,980 So what's your story, hm? 244 00:13:06,110 --> 00:13:07,450 No way you're driving cars. 245 00:13:07,580 --> 00:13:10,450 I mean, that ass is way too perky. 246 00:13:10,590 --> 00:13:13,090 I'm from the OC where they cut off body parts 247 00:13:13,220 --> 00:13:15,020 and wear them like jewelry. 248 00:13:15,160 --> 00:13:17,090 Sounds fun. 249 00:13:17,230 --> 00:13:20,260 Never leave a woman's glass empty. 250 00:13:20,400 --> 00:13:22,430 Shots on Johnny! 251 00:13:26,070 --> 00:13:28,100 Yeah, lucky me. 252 00:13:30,170 --> 00:13:32,110 Okay, Quiet. Look, about Mary... 253 00:13:32,240 --> 00:13:34,880 Oh my gosh, you weren't a virgin when I met you? 254 00:13:35,580 --> 00:13:38,180 I could give two soggy dumps about your ex. 255 00:13:38,310 --> 00:13:40,050 You're dicking around. We're on a schedule. 256 00:13:40,180 --> 00:13:41,380 Dicking around? 257 00:13:41,520 --> 00:13:43,120 Before you came up, I found out 258 00:13:43,250 --> 00:13:44,520 there was a vultures nest a few clicks from here 259 00:13:44,650 --> 00:13:46,450 that we definitely would have driven into. 260 00:13:46,590 --> 00:13:49,960 I say we butter up these milkmen 261 00:13:50,090 --> 00:13:52,030 with a few buttery nips. 262 00:13:52,160 --> 00:13:53,960 Get what intel we can and get the hell out of here. 263 00:13:54,100 --> 00:13:55,900 Okay fine. One more drink. 264 00:13:55,960 --> 00:13:57,270 Yeah. 265 00:13:57,400 --> 00:13:59,670 Hey, hey, hey! 266 00:13:59,800 --> 00:14:01,400 All right! 267 00:14:01,540 --> 00:14:02,700 Whoa! 268 00:14:02,910 --> 00:14:05,240 Bloody Mary's a character, isn't she? 269 00:14:06,210 --> 00:14:08,340 Bloody Mary, really? 270 00:14:08,480 --> 00:14:09,680 Hey, you're laughing, 271 00:14:09,810 --> 00:14:11,610 but she's made more runs than anyone. 272 00:14:11,750 --> 00:14:14,020 She'll wipe out a whole vultures nest 273 00:14:14,150 --> 00:14:15,550 just for craps and cackles. 274 00:14:17,090 --> 00:14:19,220 Nicknames mean a lot out here. 275 00:14:19,350 --> 00:14:21,490 We all got one. 276 00:14:21,620 --> 00:14:22,820 Pizza Boy, 277 00:14:22,960 --> 00:14:24,130 Petunia, 278 00:14:24,260 --> 00:14:26,560 Pit Viper. 279 00:14:26,690 --> 00:14:29,630 Well, I can't wait to hear yours. 280 00:14:29,760 --> 00:14:33,070 They call me Mr. Slam. 281 00:14:34,570 --> 00:14:35,440 Why? 282 00:14:36,070 --> 00:14:38,610 'Cause I can crush anything with my massive penis. 283 00:14:40,510 --> 00:14:43,380 Sorry. 284 00:14:45,950 --> 00:14:47,180 You have a shower here? 285 00:14:47,320 --> 00:14:48,980 Out back. 286 00:14:49,120 --> 00:14:51,650 We got everything to take the road ass 287 00:14:51,790 --> 00:14:53,220 right off of you. 288 00:14:54,520 --> 00:14:56,060 Here. 289 00:14:56,190 --> 00:14:57,790 For your nooks and crannies. 290 00:14:57,960 --> 00:15:00,600 Mr. Slam, don't you worry about my crannies. 291 00:15:00,730 --> 00:15:02,500 Pizza, baby! Pizza, baby. 292 00:15:02,630 --> 00:15:03,770 Pizza. I'm Pizza guy. 293 00:15:03,970 --> 00:15:07,970 Yeah. People love pizza. You never lose. 294 00:15:08,070 --> 00:15:11,410 You never trust a guy that wears a jacket inside. 295 00:15:11,540 --> 00:15:12,980 Yeah, you fuckin' hang up on him. 296 00:15:14,210 --> 00:15:15,480 You know, my parents sent me here 297 00:15:15,610 --> 00:15:17,980 because I got in a disagreement with my co-star. 298 00:15:18,080 --> 00:15:20,750 Well, actually, they sent me to the kiddy ward. 299 00:15:20,980 --> 00:15:22,880 And then I moved to the juvie wellness center. 300 00:15:23,020 --> 00:15:25,120 Oh, and then finally got bumped up to Blackfield 301 00:15:25,450 --> 00:15:26,750 after I murdered my roommate. 302 00:15:26,890 --> 00:15:29,990 Trust me, that guy was a psychopath. 303 00:15:30,060 --> 00:15:31,860 What did he do? 304 00:15:31,990 --> 00:15:34,900 He thought Chris Kirkpatrick was the best member of NSYNC. 305 00:15:35,030 --> 00:15:36,830 Are you nuts? 306 00:15:37,200 --> 00:15:41,140 But this-this is where I grew up. 307 00:15:41,270 --> 00:15:42,770 It was hard at first. 308 00:15:42,900 --> 00:15:44,110 Nobody came to see me. 309 00:15:44,240 --> 00:15:46,240 Not even my parents. 310 00:15:46,370 --> 00:15:49,040 They said they would, but they lied! 311 00:15:51,710 --> 00:15:54,420 You felt alone. I get it. 312 00:15:54,550 --> 00:15:57,020 Don't make this about you, Stuart. 313 00:15:57,120 --> 00:15:59,150 It's unbecoming. Sorry. 314 00:16:01,060 --> 00:16:04,190 Then I got to know the guys in here. 315 00:16:04,330 --> 00:16:06,430 And guess what? 316 00:16:06,690 --> 00:16:09,360 They were just like me. 317 00:16:09,500 --> 00:16:10,830 Yeah. 318 00:16:11,030 --> 00:16:13,200 Blackfield was the best ten years 319 00:16:13,340 --> 00:16:15,570 of my 25-to-life. 320 00:16:18,670 --> 00:16:21,040 Hold onto your butt crack. 321 00:16:21,180 --> 00:16:22,680 We're going in. 322 00:16:25,050 --> 00:16:28,180 Home, sweet home. 323 00:16:28,320 --> 00:16:30,790 Huh, still smells the same. 324 00:16:44,770 --> 00:16:46,600 Your co-star was a dog? 325 00:16:46,730 --> 00:16:48,600 Fuck Billy, that son of a bitch! 326 00:16:48,740 --> 00:16:51,910 Uh, sorry, Mommy. I-I didn't mean to swear. 327 00:16:54,480 --> 00:16:56,880 Stu, meet my mommy. 328 00:16:57,080 --> 00:16:59,180 Mommy, meet my Stu. 329 00:16:59,410 --> 00:17:01,550 Hi, Wesley. That's right. 330 00:17:01,680 --> 00:17:03,590 I still won't call you dad. 331 00:17:03,720 --> 00:17:06,550 You-you locked your parents in here. 332 00:17:08,820 --> 00:17:11,890 I wrote. I tried calling. 333 00:17:12,090 --> 00:17:14,100 They ignored me. 334 00:17:14,200 --> 00:17:16,100 They always ignored me. 335 00:17:16,330 --> 00:17:19,900 So when the world ended and the cell block opened up, 336 00:17:20,100 --> 00:17:20,970 I tracked them down 337 00:17:21,100 --> 00:17:23,640 and I left them in here to rot, 338 00:17:23,770 --> 00:17:26,270 just like they left me! 339 00:17:26,570 --> 00:17:31,150 You, uh, you got their attention now. 340 00:17:34,480 --> 00:17:37,490 Yeah, I do. 341 00:17:39,590 --> 00:17:42,460 Mommy, Wesley, 342 00:17:42,590 --> 00:17:45,560 I never wanted to try out for that sitcom. 343 00:17:45,690 --> 00:17:47,330 I was perfectly happy 344 00:17:47,460 --> 00:17:49,500 doing summer stock in the Berkshires. 345 00:17:49,630 --> 00:17:52,530 But you needed a Lexus! 346 00:17:52,670 --> 00:17:54,600 You were my parents. 347 00:17:54,740 --> 00:17:57,770 You were supposed to be my biggest fans! 348 00:17:58,610 --> 00:17:59,670 And you know what? 349 00:17:59,810 --> 00:18:01,910 I don't need you assholes, 350 00:18:02,040 --> 00:18:05,510 because I have found my people. 351 00:18:05,650 --> 00:18:08,720 And those guys out there? 352 00:18:08,850 --> 00:18:12,020 They love me for me! 353 00:18:18,690 --> 00:18:20,300 It's okay. 354 00:18:20,430 --> 00:18:22,660 I don't need you! 355 00:18:33,440 --> 00:18:35,180 And that concludes our tour! 356 00:18:54,200 --> 00:18:57,400 Ooh, I'd kill for those areolas. 357 00:18:57,600 --> 00:18:58,570 Bump? 358 00:18:58,700 --> 00:19:00,770 Uh, nah. 359 00:19:00,900 --> 00:19:03,270 All right. 360 00:19:03,410 --> 00:19:04,970 Ah. 361 00:19:06,770 --> 00:19:08,010 I know that brand. 362 00:19:08,340 --> 00:19:10,650 You lost a finger and you got the law on your ass? 363 00:19:10,780 --> 00:19:12,880 Are you crazy or just unlucky? 364 00:19:13,010 --> 00:19:14,680 Bit of both, I guess. 365 00:19:14,820 --> 00:19:16,680 Me too. 366 00:19:17,420 --> 00:19:18,720 Check it. 367 00:19:19,890 --> 00:19:22,590 You got those from law? A few of them. 368 00:19:22,720 --> 00:19:24,990 Mostly from being a pedestrian. 369 00:19:25,130 --> 00:19:26,890 After the fire, I had to start fresh. 370 00:19:27,230 --> 00:19:31,770 I got this one from playing possum with some butchers. 371 00:19:31,900 --> 00:19:33,030 Between you and me, 372 00:19:33,240 --> 00:19:35,440 grilled dude tastes not that bad. 373 00:19:37,440 --> 00:19:39,240 Hey, you're on my shit. 374 00:19:39,840 --> 00:19:41,040 Oops. 375 00:19:51,320 --> 00:19:53,890 So what's it like driving with Johnny? 376 00:19:54,020 --> 00:19:55,160 Is it as wet and wild 377 00:19:55,290 --> 00:19:56,760 as he always said it would be? 378 00:19:56,890 --> 00:19:59,860 He would say wet and wild. 379 00:20:00,260 --> 00:20:02,160 Riding with John is mostly irritating. 380 00:20:02,800 --> 00:20:03,970 I'm sure I'll get used to it. 381 00:20:04,100 --> 00:20:05,470 It's only been a couple days. 382 00:20:06,400 --> 00:20:08,570 You just met and you're already goin' on rides? 383 00:20:11,570 --> 00:20:12,970 I mean, just this one job. 384 00:20:13,110 --> 00:20:14,340 Well, must be nice. 385 00:20:14,580 --> 00:20:16,640 Johnny always said it would be too dangerous 386 00:20:16,780 --> 00:20:18,210 for me to ride with him. 387 00:20:18,350 --> 00:20:20,850 Milkman have an expiration date, 388 00:20:20,980 --> 00:20:22,520 blah, blah, blah. 389 00:20:23,220 --> 00:20:25,390 Guess I had to figure it out for myself. 390 00:20:29,020 --> 00:20:31,660 Listen, I wouldn't read too much into it. 391 00:20:31,790 --> 00:20:33,560 It's not like he lets me drive his car. 392 00:20:33,860 --> 00:20:35,860 Of course not. 393 00:20:37,100 --> 00:20:39,300 But I see the way he looks at you. 394 00:20:40,070 --> 00:20:41,400 He likes you. 395 00:20:41,540 --> 00:20:44,010 Like, like likes you. 396 00:20:45,110 --> 00:20:47,780 But he will never pick you over that car. 397 00:20:49,080 --> 00:20:52,610 Evelyn is his ride or die. 398 00:20:52,750 --> 00:20:55,020 Till death do they part. 399 00:20:56,680 --> 00:20:57,690 But what do I know? 400 00:20:59,420 --> 00:21:02,160 Maybe he likes you behind the wheel. 401 00:21:03,020 --> 00:21:05,160 Or the wheel behind you. 402 00:21:08,130 --> 00:21:10,230 Naptime's over, fuck-os! 403 00:21:10,370 --> 00:21:11,600 Time to go-- 404 00:21:15,500 --> 00:21:19,040 No! Harold, why did you kill everybody? 405 00:21:27,350 --> 00:21:29,820 Oh, shit. Get down! 406 00:21:34,490 --> 00:21:37,060 It's gonna be maggot Thanksgiving down there. 407 00:21:37,190 --> 00:21:38,460 That's a good one, Carl. 408 00:21:38,730 --> 00:21:40,900 Jamie, you and your brother, back with me to base. 409 00:21:41,030 --> 00:21:42,430 Mike, get another guy. 410 00:21:42,560 --> 00:21:45,370 Double taps on everybody, collect their weapons. 411 00:21:45,430 --> 00:21:46,800 Uh-huh. 412 00:21:46,930 --> 00:21:49,100 And grab the clown's mask. 413 00:21:49,240 --> 00:21:51,410 I want it for my wall. 414 00:21:51,540 --> 00:21:52,610 Let's go. 415 00:21:55,280 --> 00:21:57,510 Come on, Ev, drink up. 416 00:21:59,850 --> 00:22:03,390 Damn, running water always makes me have to go. 417 00:22:06,620 --> 00:22:08,420 Oh fuck, Mare! 418 00:22:08,690 --> 00:22:09,660 Do you mind? 419 00:22:09,790 --> 00:22:11,390 No. 420 00:22:14,630 --> 00:22:18,200 So Johnny, what brings you out east? 421 00:22:18,400 --> 00:22:20,200 Pfft! Are you serious? Yeah. 422 00:22:20,400 --> 00:22:22,100 I mean, come on! My job! 423 00:22:22,240 --> 00:22:24,440 You know I can't give you the deets. 424 00:22:24,810 --> 00:22:27,910 Your job. 425 00:22:28,040 --> 00:22:30,010 John Doe would never leave California. 426 00:22:30,140 --> 00:22:31,280 It gets too cold, 427 00:22:31,410 --> 00:22:33,920 and he doesn't like goosepimples. 428 00:22:34,520 --> 00:22:36,550 Maybe it's a really good job. 429 00:22:36,680 --> 00:22:38,420 Oh! Ooohh! 430 00:22:38,550 --> 00:22:40,620 Maybe that's why you need a partner. 431 00:22:40,760 --> 00:22:42,320 No, okay, it's not like I recruited her. 432 00:22:42,460 --> 00:22:43,930 She kinda just fell in my lap. 433 00:22:44,060 --> 00:22:45,890 Mmm. I didn't mean like that. 434 00:22:46,030 --> 00:22:47,700 Look, Quiet saved my ass. 435 00:22:47,830 --> 00:22:50,730 If it wasn't for her, I'd be road sauce right now. 436 00:22:50,870 --> 00:22:52,930 Oh, I mean, I've been doin' it alone for a while. 437 00:22:53,070 --> 00:22:54,640 I seem to be doin' fine. 438 00:22:54,770 --> 00:22:56,600 Oh. 439 00:22:56,740 --> 00:22:58,440 Unless you're gettin' soft. Soft-- 440 00:22:58,570 --> 00:23:00,440 Oh, okay. Yeah, gettin' soft. 441 00:23:00,580 --> 00:23:02,810 Well, good thing it's my last run. 442 00:23:06,750 --> 00:23:09,880 It's gettin' cold out here. I'm gonna head in. 443 00:23:10,020 --> 00:23:12,590 Your last run? Huh? 444 00:23:12,850 --> 00:23:14,290 Come on, you can tell me. 445 00:23:15,560 --> 00:23:17,190 You used to tell me all kinds of crazy shit. 446 00:23:17,320 --> 00:23:18,830 Yeah, yeah. Okay? 447 00:23:18,960 --> 00:23:20,960 And I told you shit, too. 448 00:23:21,460 --> 00:23:23,060 Well, let's just say 449 00:23:23,200 --> 00:23:26,470 I'm gonna get what I always wanted. 450 00:23:28,140 --> 00:23:29,040 No. 451 00:23:31,910 --> 00:23:34,040 Inside? Mmm, oh! 452 00:23:34,180 --> 00:23:35,840 Hey John! Yo! 453 00:23:35,980 --> 00:23:37,140 Thought you'd wanna know, 454 00:23:37,280 --> 00:23:38,850 Mistress Lane's about to perform. 455 00:23:39,110 --> 00:23:40,180 I do not wanna miss that! 456 00:23:41,820 --> 00:23:42,850 After the show, I gotta get back on the road. 457 00:23:42,980 --> 00:23:44,150 Uh-huh. 458 00:23:44,290 --> 00:23:45,950 Because New San Francisco awaits. 459 00:23:46,090 --> 00:23:47,920 John-John! 460 00:23:48,060 --> 00:23:49,190 Are you serious? 461 00:23:49,320 --> 00:23:50,760 Jello, Mare! 462 00:23:53,360 --> 00:23:55,860 Oh, shit! Oh, I'm good! 463 00:23:58,830 --> 00:24:00,030 Y'all in the front row, 464 00:24:00,170 --> 00:24:02,770 you're gonna get wet! 465 00:24:05,140 --> 00:24:06,370 So, how's the car? 466 00:24:06,510 --> 00:24:09,840 She's good, gassed up, and ready to go. 467 00:24:10,410 --> 00:24:12,880 You smell like fresh forest, like camping. 468 00:24:13,010 --> 00:24:14,720 Oh! You're drunk. 469 00:24:14,850 --> 00:24:17,350 You're drunk!! And also... 470 00:24:17,520 --> 00:24:18,720 I'm drunk. 471 00:24:18,850 --> 00:24:20,790 Slam! Slam! Slam! 472 00:24:21,060 --> 00:24:23,090 Slam! Slam! Slam! Slam! Slam? Slam? 473 00:24:23,360 --> 00:24:26,230 Y'all ready to see this watermelon explode? 474 00:24:26,360 --> 00:24:27,960 Hell yeah! 475 00:24:28,260 --> 00:24:29,630 Slam! Slam! 476 00:24:32,530 --> 00:24:37,200 Slam! Slam! Slam! Slam! Slam! Slam! 477 00:24:37,340 --> 00:24:40,240 Slam! Slam! Slam! Slam! Slam! Slam! 478 00:24:40,540 --> 00:24:43,310 Slam! Slam! Slam! Slam! Slam! Slam! 479 00:24:43,440 --> 00:24:45,310 Shh! Shut the fuck up! 480 00:24:46,250 --> 00:24:48,280 Oh. 481 00:24:48,420 --> 00:24:50,250 Gee, Johnny, 482 00:24:50,380 --> 00:24:52,820 looks like word got out about your package. 483 00:24:53,220 --> 00:24:54,420 Guess you're not the only one 484 00:24:54,560 --> 00:24:56,590 trying to get inside New San Francisco, huh? 485 00:24:57,890 --> 00:25:00,830 You couldn't have waited one minute?! 486 00:25:04,470 --> 00:25:06,100 You told them about New San Francisco? 487 00:25:06,230 --> 00:25:08,040 What the hell happened to rule number one? 488 00:25:08,170 --> 00:25:11,070 This is why we have rule number two! 489 00:25:18,250 --> 00:25:20,380 I told you that was a fuckin' stupid-ass rule! 490 00:25:20,580 --> 00:25:21,580 All right, fine! 491 00:25:21,720 --> 00:25:23,720 Okay, there's no need for violence. 492 00:25:23,850 --> 00:25:26,150 I'll give you the package. 493 00:25:26,290 --> 00:25:27,860 But who do I give it to, huh? 494 00:25:27,990 --> 00:25:28,890 Give it to you? 495 00:25:30,120 --> 00:25:32,390 How about you? 496 00:25:32,590 --> 00:25:34,930 Don't tell me you haven't discussed amongst yourselves 497 00:25:35,060 --> 00:25:36,800 who's gonna get it. 498 00:25:39,700 --> 00:25:42,970 Getting in is a pretty big prize. 499 00:25:44,270 --> 00:25:45,810 Slam! 500 00:25:52,950 --> 00:25:53,980 Quiet! 501 00:26:03,360 --> 00:26:04,990 John! 502 00:26:20,840 --> 00:26:22,540 Careful, you might nick yourself. 503 00:26:22,680 --> 00:26:23,950 Not fuckin' likely. 504 00:26:34,460 --> 00:26:36,520 What the hell is this jacket made of? 505 00:26:59,010 --> 00:27:01,420 Is this just me, 506 00:27:01,680 --> 00:27:03,690 or is this kinda hot? 507 00:27:03,790 --> 00:27:04,690 It's kinda hot. 508 00:27:04,790 --> 00:27:06,550 Yeah. Do it. 509 00:27:06,690 --> 00:27:08,520 Fuckin' do it. Gimme another scar. 510 00:27:08,690 --> 00:27:10,320 Add it to the fucking pile! 511 00:27:13,130 --> 00:27:15,430 I would have followed that milkman anywhere. 512 00:27:15,560 --> 00:27:18,600 All he had to do was say "Come with me," but he didn't! 513 00:27:19,000 --> 00:27:21,300 Okay, I suffered because of him. 514 00:27:21,440 --> 00:27:24,710 So fuck him if he thinks he can waltz into a better life! 515 00:27:27,940 --> 00:27:30,140 Here's a little free advice. 516 00:27:31,510 --> 00:27:33,880 Don't let revenge ruin a second chance. 517 00:27:42,960 --> 00:27:44,090 Behind you! 518 00:27:54,800 --> 00:27:57,540 Goddamn, Mary. 519 00:28:05,750 --> 00:28:08,480 Hey, Slam! 520 00:28:08,620 --> 00:28:10,150 Nice dong moves. 521 00:28:24,030 --> 00:28:25,770 Stu! Stu! 522 00:28:27,300 --> 00:28:29,000 I'm so sorry. 523 00:28:30,040 --> 00:28:31,970 I didn't mean to, man. 524 00:28:34,110 --> 00:28:36,980 Holy shit! Shit! 525 00:28:37,110 --> 00:28:38,950 I thought I killed you, man. 526 00:28:39,080 --> 00:28:41,320 You tried to kill me?! 527 00:28:41,450 --> 00:28:44,050 Uh, no? 528 00:28:45,520 --> 00:28:48,360 No! No, no, no! Who did this?! 529 00:28:48,490 --> 00:28:49,960 Answer me! 530 00:28:50,090 --> 00:28:52,290 Those were my people! 531 00:28:52,790 --> 00:28:54,360 My fans! 532 00:28:55,560 --> 00:28:56,960 Oops. 533 00:28:57,100 --> 00:28:58,530 Fuck-Fuckin' Stone! It was Stone! 534 00:28:58,670 --> 00:28:59,600 Stone did this, man! 535 00:29:02,640 --> 00:29:04,810 Please! Please! Please! 536 00:29:04,910 --> 00:29:06,910 I can help! I can help! 537 00:29:07,040 --> 00:29:08,480 I know where Stone is! 538 00:29:10,040 --> 00:29:11,950 Wait! Stone hurt you. 539 00:29:12,080 --> 00:29:14,250 He can help hurt him back. 540 00:29:18,950 --> 00:29:22,560 You want a pet? Fine. 541 00:29:22,690 --> 00:29:25,360 But you clean up after him. 542 00:29:25,490 --> 00:29:28,030 'Cause we all know what I do... 543 00:29:28,160 --> 00:29:30,730 to naughty dogs. 544 00:29:38,410 --> 00:29:41,640 Here... You drive. 545 00:29:42,840 --> 00:29:45,180 At least till I sober up. 546 00:30:02,730 --> 00:30:05,670 They're going to New San Francisco. 547 00:30:05,800 --> 00:30:09,270 Huh, interesting. 548 00:30:09,400 --> 00:30:12,570 You guys ever shoot trout in a barrel? 549 00:30:12,710 --> 00:30:16,910 The fun part isn't actually shooting them. 550 00:30:17,040 --> 00:30:19,780 It's trapping them in the barrel. 551 00:30:19,910 --> 00:30:22,680 Boy howdy... 552 00:30:22,820 --> 00:30:24,820 do I love a good trap. 37188

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