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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:48,100 --> 00:00:52,500 In New Yotk City, thete's a fine line between law and chaos. 2 00:00:52,600 --> 00:00:55,400 On that line live Danson and Highsmith. 3 00:00:58,600 --> 00:01:01,100 Tell me again why I decided to get on this roof! 4 00:01:02,000 --> 00:01:05,501 I think you can chalk that up to bad life choices. 5 00:01:21,702 --> 00:01:22,802 Get rid of that asshole. 6 00:01:22,902 --> 00:01:24,802 -Uh-oh! -I hate it when you say "uh-oh!" 7 00:01:35,402 --> 00:01:37,302 Dude, you put a ding in my hood! 8 00:01:41,403 --> 00:01:42,403 Come on with it, then! 9 00:01:48,003 --> 00:01:49,803 Whoa, hey! 10 00:01:56,704 --> 00:01:58,004 That's trouble. 11 00:02:12,704 --> 00:02:16,205 Did someone call Nine-One-holy-shit? 12 00:02:26,505 --> 00:02:28,405 That's it. I'm sick of all this running. 13 00:02:36,306 --> 00:02:37,406 Hang on! 14 00:02:47,906 --> 00:02:53,807 You have the right to remain silent! 15 00:02:54,407 --> 00:02:57,007 But I wanna hear you scream! 16 00:03:12,408 --> 00:03:13,508 Down on the ground! 17 00:03:13,808 --> 00:03:16,008 Detective! Yeah, yeah! Detective! 18 00:03:16,708 --> 00:03:18,808 One at a time, all right? 19 00:03:19,108 --> 00:03:23,109 Yeah, Detectives, Rick Grayson, New Yotk Obsetvet Online. 20 00:03:23,309 --> 00:03:26,209 These suspects were caught with only a quarter pound of marijuana, 21 00:03:26,309 --> 00:03:27,709 a misdemeanor in some states. 22 00:03:27,809 --> 00:03:31,009 Do you think this arrest was worth $12 million in property damages? 23 00:03:31,209 --> 00:03:34,509 Why don't we let New York City answer that question? 24 00:03:34,509 --> 00:03:37,009 The greatest city on Earth, yeah! 25 00:03:40,210 --> 00:03:43,610 Hi, Sarah Gapone from TMZ print edition. 26 00:03:43,710 --> 00:03:47,210 Danson, are the rumors about you and Kim Kardashian true? 27 00:03:47,310 --> 00:03:48,910 No comment. 28 00:03:49,410 --> 00:03:50,710 But, yes. 29 00:03:52,310 --> 00:03:55,810 Danson and Highsmith, free hot dogs for life! 30 00:03:59,311 --> 00:04:03,411 No drinks. No drinks. I can't do it. I can't do it. 31 00:04:03,811 --> 00:04:09,211 Danson and Highsmith shoot, dtive, and sex with style. They'te tock stats. 32 00:04:09,311 --> 00:04:12,311 Then you got yout jokets, yout ball bustets, yout vets... 33 00:04:13,411 --> 00:04:15,312 ...and the othet guys. 34 00:04:18,212 --> 00:04:21,312 We know, we know. We know. 35 00:04:21,412 --> 00:04:23,512 All right, all right, all right. Listen up, listen up! 36 00:04:23,612 --> 00:04:27,212 We're having a celebration tonight at Butter. 37 00:04:27,212 --> 00:04:29,812 Brody Jenner's gonna be there. Bai Ling. 38 00:04:29,912 --> 00:04:32,713 -That little short bitch from Jetsey Shote. -Yeah! 39 00:04:32,813 --> 00:04:35,913 And most of you are on the list. 40 00:04:36,013 --> 00:04:37,913 You're the best. 41 00:04:38,013 --> 00:04:39,913 Guys, I'm gonna say something right now. 42 00:04:40,013 --> 00:04:42,413 It's about a man who came from Austria with a dream. 43 00:04:42,513 --> 00:04:45,313 -Arnold Schwarzenegger! -Let me finish. 44 00:04:45,413 --> 00:04:47,813 He became a champion and then a movie star, all right? 45 00:04:47,913 --> 00:04:50,014 -Arnold Schwarzenegger! -God damn it, let me... 46 00:04:50,114 --> 00:04:52,014 They ruined the story. They ruined the story. 47 00:04:52,114 --> 00:04:53,714 Let... What... The point is, 48 00:04:53,814 --> 00:04:56,914 we couldn't do our job if it weren't for you guys doing all the paperwork, 49 00:04:57,014 --> 00:04:59,314 answering the phones, and all that stupid shit that we don't like to do. 50 00:04:59,414 --> 00:05:01,414 All the gun fights, all the car chases, 51 00:05:01,514 --> 00:05:05,314 all the sex we don't wanna have with women, but we have to, 52 00:05:05,414 --> 00:05:09,115 all due to what you guys do. Thank you. 53 00:05:09,215 --> 00:05:10,415 And we'd do it again and again. 54 00:05:10,515 --> 00:05:12,815 Hey, you shut your face! 55 00:05:12,915 --> 00:05:14,115 If we wanna hear you talk, 56 00:05:14,215 --> 00:05:17,115 I will shove my arm up your ass and work your mouth like a puppet! 57 00:05:17,315 --> 00:05:18,815 You hear me? You hear me? 58 00:05:19,415 --> 00:05:21,315 -Cash bar. -Yeah. 59 00:05:21,415 --> 00:05:23,215 Peace out, bitches. 60 00:05:24,616 --> 00:05:27,616 Hey, fellas. All right, bring it in. 61 00:05:27,616 --> 00:05:29,116 Come on. Bring it in a little bit. 62 00:05:29,416 --> 00:05:31,416 All right, right there. 63 00:05:31,516 --> 00:05:33,416 Just back up, just like right there. 64 00:05:34,116 --> 00:05:36,116 All right, just one... Just a... 65 00:05:36,316 --> 00:05:38,016 There you go, right there. Right there. 66 00:05:38,616 --> 00:05:40,616 This is their paperwork. You know they're not gonna do it. 67 00:05:40,816 --> 00:05:44,017 That's right. This paperwork is like Bob's wife here. 68 00:05:44,017 --> 00:05:47,717 It's thick, ugly, got Danson's fingerprints all over it. 69 00:05:47,817 --> 00:05:49,217 -No offense, Bob. -That's all right. 70 00:05:49,317 --> 00:05:51,417 -Anyway, now who wants it? -I do! 71 00:05:51,517 --> 00:05:54,217 All right! Paper Bitch and Yankee Clipper on the case! 72 00:05:54,917 --> 00:05:56,317 -Nice work. Thanks, Allen. -Thank you, Captain. 73 00:05:56,417 --> 00:05:57,717 "I'll do it! I'll do it!" 74 00:06:07,818 --> 00:06:09,918 Stop humming that song! 75 00:06:10,718 --> 00:06:13,718 -I can hum if I want to. -No, I know you can. 76 00:06:13,818 --> 00:06:15,118 I'm asking you to stop. 77 00:06:15,418 --> 00:06:17,419 -Well, if you're asking, then I'll stop. -Thank you. 78 00:06:22,919 --> 00:06:24,519 Could you not smile like that? 79 00:06:25,119 --> 00:06:28,419 Now you're asking me to mask my emotions because of how it makes you feel. 80 00:06:28,519 --> 00:06:30,319 That I will not do. 81 00:06:34,120 --> 00:06:37,020 Seriously, stop humming! Okay? 82 00:06:37,020 --> 00:06:39,120 This isn't accounting or wherever the hell 83 00:06:39,220 --> 00:06:42,520 you and your little pocket calculator were transferred from. 84 00:06:42,620 --> 00:06:45,620 Forensic accounting, okay. And it's an important part of the job. 85 00:06:45,720 --> 00:06:49,720 Yeah, whatever. Stop being so overtly happy about doing shit work, you moron. 86 00:06:49,820 --> 00:06:51,721 Hey, guys. Reminder. 87 00:06:51,821 --> 00:06:55,021 The police union picnic's coming up this weekend. 88 00:06:55,121 --> 00:06:59,721 My wife's making her famous deviled eggs, again. My waistline's furious. 89 00:06:59,821 --> 00:07:01,221 It's a bad time, Bob! 90 00:07:01,621 --> 00:07:04,321 All right. 91 00:07:04,821 --> 00:07:05,921 Going to get a slice. 92 00:07:17,622 --> 00:07:19,422 You know what I just did? 93 00:07:19,522 --> 00:07:21,822 I just walked out that door, saw a couple detectives, 94 00:07:21,922 --> 00:07:24,322 and I was about to start bad mouthing you behind your back, 95 00:07:24,422 --> 00:07:26,623 but I stopped myself, because my pops taught me 96 00:07:26,723 --> 00:07:29,423 that a man who talks behind somebody's back is a coward. 97 00:07:29,423 --> 00:07:30,623 Wow, I actually appreciate that. 98 00:07:30,723 --> 00:07:32,523 Good, 'cause I'm gonna tell you directly to your face. 99 00:07:32,623 --> 00:07:35,423 -No. You don't have to. -No, I don't like you. 100 00:07:35,423 --> 00:07:36,923 I think you're a fake cop. 101 00:07:36,923 --> 00:07:40,723 The sound of your piss hitting the urinal? It sounds feminine. 102 00:07:40,823 --> 00:07:43,524 If we were in the wild, I would attack you. 103 00:07:43,624 --> 00:07:48,324 Even if you weren't in my food chain, I would go out of my way to attack you. 104 00:07:48,424 --> 00:07:50,024 If I were a lion, and you were a tuna, 105 00:07:50,124 --> 00:07:52,724 I would swim out in the middle of the ocean and freaking eat you! 106 00:07:53,224 --> 00:07:56,124 And then I'd bang your tuna girlfriend. 107 00:07:56,324 --> 00:08:00,625 Okay, first off, a lion swimming in the ocean? 108 00:08:00,725 --> 00:08:01,925 Lions don't like water. 109 00:08:02,325 --> 00:08:06,025 If you'd placed it near a river or some sort of fresh water source, that'd make sense. 110 00:08:06,325 --> 00:08:08,625 But you find yourself in the ocean, 20-foot waves, 111 00:08:08,725 --> 00:08:10,525 I'm assuming it's off the coast of South Africa, 112 00:08:10,825 --> 00:08:16,125 coming up against a full-grown, 800-pound tuna with his 20 or 30 friends? 113 00:08:16,225 --> 00:08:17,326 You lose that battle. 114 00:08:17,426 --> 00:08:20,326 You lose that battle nine times out of ten. And guess what? 115 00:08:20,426 --> 00:08:24,726 You've wandered into our school of tuna, and we now have a taste of lion. 116 00:08:24,826 --> 00:08:27,226 We've talked to ourselves. We've communicated. 117 00:08:27,326 --> 00:08:28,526 -Yeah? -And said, "You know what? 118 00:08:28,626 --> 00:08:31,726 "Lion tastes good. Let's go get some more lion." 119 00:08:31,826 --> 00:08:34,427 We've developed a system to establish a beachhead 120 00:08:34,527 --> 00:08:37,427 and aggressively hunt you and your family. 121 00:08:37,527 --> 00:08:39,727 And we will corner your pride, 122 00:08:39,727 --> 00:08:41,627 -your children, your offspring. -How you gonna do that? 123 00:08:41,727 --> 00:08:45,327 We will construct a series of breathing apparatus with kelp. 124 00:08:45,427 --> 00:08:47,927 We will be able to trap certain amounts of oxygen. 125 00:08:48,027 --> 00:08:52,428 It's not gonna be days at a time, but an hour, hour 45, no problem. 126 00:08:52,528 --> 00:08:55,228 That will give us enough time to figure out where you live, 127 00:08:55,328 --> 00:08:58,328 go back to the sea, get more oxygen, and then stalk you. 128 00:08:58,428 --> 00:09:01,928 You just lost at your own game. You're outgunned and outmanned. 129 00:09:05,428 --> 00:09:08,028 Did that go the way you thought it was gonna go? 130 00:09:08,128 --> 00:09:09,229 Nope. 131 00:09:16,829 --> 00:09:18,429 Two minutes before the markets open, 132 00:09:18,429 --> 00:09:21,729 Pamela Boardman, CEO of Lendl Global, ringing the opening bell. 133 00:09:21,929 --> 00:09:24,429 With Boatdman is investment banket, David Etshon, 134 00:09:24,429 --> 00:09:27,930 who manages 40% of Lendl's $70-billion equity pool. 135 00:09:28,030 --> 00:09:30,830 How much did we lose? 136 00:09:30,930 --> 00:09:33,230 You may ring the bell now, Ms. Boardman. 137 00:09:33,330 --> 00:09:35,430 -$32. -Million? 138 00:09:35,530 --> 00:09:37,730 No, billion. 139 00:09:39,830 --> 00:09:41,230 Shit! 140 00:09:42,030 --> 00:09:46,431 Chinatown. Three Triad gang members. I popped two of them off the draw. 141 00:09:46,631 --> 00:09:48,331 -Bang, bang. -Yeah. 142 00:09:48,431 --> 00:09:50,031 Then I raise up to take the leader out. 143 00:09:50,131 --> 00:09:51,631 Shit, I feel like I'm there now. 144 00:09:51,631 --> 00:09:53,831 I hear a whistle. My partner's on the roof. 145 00:09:54,431 --> 00:09:56,231 He says, "Let's even the odds!" 146 00:09:56,531 --> 00:10:00,732 He tosses me down a Mossberg pump. I send one through his chest. 147 00:10:01,832 --> 00:10:03,332 Game over, bitches. 148 00:10:05,432 --> 00:10:07,132 -All right. -Yeah. 149 00:10:08,132 --> 00:10:12,732 Jimmy? Let's talk about how that story made you feel. 150 00:10:13,332 --> 00:10:14,732 Like my cock was made out of concrete. 151 00:10:16,132 --> 00:10:18,033 I know it's very tempting. 152 00:10:18,533 --> 00:10:20,233 You want to impress your friends. 153 00:10:20,333 --> 00:10:22,833 But this is serious stuff we're dealing with, okay? 154 00:10:22,933 --> 00:10:26,333 This is firing your weapon in the line of duty. 155 00:10:26,433 --> 00:10:27,533 Officer Hoitz? 156 00:10:28,133 --> 00:10:29,533 Oh, man. 157 00:10:29,533 --> 00:10:30,733 -Come on! -Here we go. 158 00:10:30,833 --> 00:10:32,233 Would you like to share? 159 00:10:32,333 --> 00:10:33,433 No, I'd rather not. 160 00:10:33,733 --> 00:10:36,134 Officer Hoitz, you've been coming here for six months now, 161 00:10:36,234 --> 00:10:38,034 and you haven't said a word. 162 00:10:38,134 --> 00:10:40,534 This is a safe room, no judgment here. 163 00:10:40,534 --> 00:10:41,634 Jerkoff. 164 00:10:41,734 --> 00:10:44,034 That's judgment, Jimmy. Come on. 165 00:10:44,534 --> 00:10:45,634 I relive it every night. 166 00:10:47,034 --> 00:10:48,934 Btonx, Octobet. 167 00:10:49,034 --> 00:10:50,834 Game 7 of the Wotld Seties. 168 00:10:50,834 --> 00:10:54,135 For all the marbles. High pressure, unruly crowd, and I pulled tunnel duty. 169 00:10:54,235 --> 00:10:57,035 I mean, I saw a shadowy figure in the tunnel. I told him to stop. 170 00:10:57,135 --> 00:10:59,035 Whoa, whoa, whoa, this is a restricted area! 171 00:10:59,135 --> 00:11:00,435 Finally pulled my gun. 172 00:11:00,535 --> 00:11:01,835 Pulled a deadly weapon. He started running at me. 173 00:11:01,935 --> 00:11:03,835 Don't make me shoot! I'll do it! 174 00:11:05,035 --> 00:11:06,935 Are you deaf? You hear me yell, "Freeze"? 175 00:11:07,035 --> 00:11:10,136 You dick! I'm Derek Jeter! You shot me! 176 00:11:10,236 --> 00:11:12,936 -You cost me 20 grand on that game! -Douche bag. 177 00:11:13,036 --> 00:11:14,536 Cost the city a championship. 178 00:11:14,636 --> 00:11:16,936 I was being groomed for a top position in homicide. 179 00:11:17,136 --> 00:11:19,936 Now I'm stuck with a desk jockey partner. Everybody calls me the Yankee Clipper. 180 00:11:20,036 --> 00:11:21,636 Because you shot Derek Jeter! 181 00:11:21,736 --> 00:11:23,036 He's a biracial angel. 182 00:11:23,136 --> 00:11:24,736 You should've shot A-Rod. 183 00:11:32,337 --> 00:11:33,737 Yo, Paper Bitch. 184 00:11:34,137 --> 00:11:35,737 -What's up, man? -Hey. Hey, guys. 185 00:11:35,837 --> 00:11:37,537 -Paper Bitch. -Paper Bitch. 186 00:11:37,637 --> 00:11:38,737 I don't like that, actually. 187 00:11:38,837 --> 00:11:40,637 I know you guys think it's fun, but I don't like that name. 188 00:11:40,737 --> 00:11:42,237 Still working on the Danson and Highsmith paperwork? 189 00:11:42,337 --> 00:11:44,438 -Shit. -No, actually, actually, that's... 190 00:11:44,538 --> 00:11:45,938 What is this? That looks stupid. 191 00:11:46,038 --> 00:11:49,638 Guys, it's illegal permitting for construction. Specifically, scaffolding. 192 00:11:49,738 --> 00:11:51,238 Some of the guys were talking. 193 00:11:51,538 --> 00:11:54,138 They were like, "How come you've never fired your weapon in the office before?" 194 00:11:54,238 --> 00:11:54,938 Good point. 195 00:11:55,638 --> 00:11:57,038 I'm sorry, I don't follow. 196 00:11:57,138 --> 00:11:58,538 You've never fired your weapon in the office. 197 00:11:58,638 --> 00:12:00,738 We all have, you know. It's called a desk pop. 198 00:12:00,838 --> 00:12:03,539 Fellas, look, I know you don't respect me as a police officer. 199 00:12:03,639 --> 00:12:04,739 -Not true. -I'm not stupid. 200 00:12:04,839 --> 00:12:07,339 I'm not gonna discharge my firearm in the office. 201 00:12:07,339 --> 00:12:08,939 Gamble, listen to me. I'll try to make it real clear. 202 00:12:09,039 --> 00:12:13,239 We honor the flag, and you crap on it when you don't shoot your gun in the office. 203 00:12:13,339 --> 00:12:15,339 Jimmy. When's the last time you had a desk pop? 204 00:12:15,439 --> 00:12:17,139 September '08. 205 00:12:17,839 --> 00:12:19,540 -Be a man. Do it. -Now. 206 00:12:19,640 --> 00:12:21,340 -Please, please, do it. -Pop one off! 207 00:12:21,440 --> 00:12:23,440 -There you go. Pop it off! -Don't think, just go! 208 00:12:23,540 --> 00:12:25,140 -Here we go. -Do it, yes. 209 00:12:26,740 --> 00:12:27,740 He did it! 210 00:12:27,940 --> 00:12:29,740 Hey! Shots fired! 211 00:12:29,840 --> 00:12:32,940 Hey, Terry, I did it! I did my first desk pop! 212 00:12:33,440 --> 00:12:35,040 It's a real thing, right? 213 00:12:35,140 --> 00:12:36,641 -A desk pop? -Yeah. 214 00:12:36,741 --> 00:12:37,841 No, that's not real! 215 00:12:37,941 --> 00:12:41,841 They were so convincing in their argument, they swung me. 216 00:12:44,841 --> 00:12:46,741 All right, Allen, you're gonna have to hand over your gun. 217 00:12:46,841 --> 00:12:47,941 Yes, sir. 218 00:12:48,041 --> 00:12:52,041 Captain, you really wanna disarm this guy, take out the batteries in the calculator. 219 00:12:52,041 --> 00:12:55,542 All right, I'm gonna give you this. This is a dummy gun. I use it for ceremony. 220 00:12:55,542 --> 00:12:56,742 There. 221 00:12:58,042 --> 00:13:01,642 You get this back when I feel you know how to handle it. 222 00:13:02,242 --> 00:13:05,942 Listen, guys. I'm working two jobs. I'm working here. 223 00:13:06,042 --> 00:13:09,242 And I got another job at Bed Bath and Beyond. Okay? 224 00:13:09,242 --> 00:13:11,943 I'm doing that just to put a kid through NYU 225 00:13:11,943 --> 00:13:15,743 so he can explore his bisexuality and become a deejay. 226 00:13:15,843 --> 00:13:19,243 Now the last thing I need is a ballistics report in the unit. 227 00:13:19,343 --> 00:13:21,743 I'm just gonna ask you guys, please, come on, really. 228 00:13:21,843 --> 00:13:23,543 Just think about... Just be smart. 229 00:13:53,145 --> 00:13:54,545 211 in ptogtess. 230 00:13:54,645 --> 00:13:57,745 They'te using a wtecking ball to clean out Castien Jewelty. 231 00:13:57,845 --> 00:13:59,245 All right, we got it. 232 00:13:59,345 --> 00:14:01,645 -Good luck, guys. Have a good one. -Allen, let's go. 233 00:14:01,745 --> 00:14:04,646 -No, I got work to do. -What? This is work! 234 00:14:04,746 --> 00:14:08,346 Hey, yo! Danson and Highsmith. We roll in heavy. 235 00:14:08,346 --> 00:14:09,746 You cream puffs, sit tight. 236 00:14:09,846 --> 00:14:11,146 You gotta be shitting me! 237 00:14:11,646 --> 00:14:14,346 You can't keep me cooped up in here, okay? 238 00:14:14,346 --> 00:14:17,446 I am a peacock! You gotta let me fly! 239 00:14:23,647 --> 00:14:25,847 Did he just... Did he just call himself a peacock? 240 00:14:29,347 --> 00:14:30,647 Let's go! Let's go! 241 00:14:33,647 --> 00:14:34,747 Come on, fellas! 242 00:14:34,947 --> 00:14:37,348 Wednesday night is taco night at Rikers lsland! 243 00:14:51,248 --> 00:14:52,848 That's the second one this week! 244 00:14:54,148 --> 00:14:56,249 Hey, you monkeys! Stop! 245 00:14:56,849 --> 00:14:58,049 Let's go! 246 00:14:58,849 --> 00:14:59,949 Yeah! 247 00:15:00,449 --> 00:15:01,649 Heads up! 248 00:15:02,049 --> 00:15:03,149 Shit. 249 00:15:17,250 --> 00:15:18,350 Special Forces zipline. 250 00:15:18,950 --> 00:15:20,750 Cut that line! Cut it! Let's go! 251 00:15:21,950 --> 00:15:24,250 -These guys are pros. -Let's go! 252 00:15:24,250 --> 00:15:25,650 You thinking what I'm thinking, partner? 253 00:15:26,250 --> 00:15:27,350 Aim for the bushes. 254 00:15:54,952 --> 00:15:58,652 Cops still atgue to this day why Danson and Highsmith jumped. 255 00:15:58,752 --> 00:16:02,752 Maybe it was just ptide, having sutvived so many btushes with death. 256 00:16:02,752 --> 00:16:04,953 Maybe theit egos pushed them off. 257 00:16:05,053 --> 00:16:07,753 I don't know. But that shit was ctazy. 258 00:16:07,853 --> 00:16:12,553 Eithet way, thete was a hole in New Yotk City, and it needed to be filled. 259 00:16:12,653 --> 00:16:14,953 Two days ago, this city wept. 260 00:16:15,053 --> 00:16:18,953 We lost two hetoes who gave evetything fot us, 261 00:16:19,053 --> 00:16:23,954 who paid that ultimate sactifice so that we may walk these stteets safely. 262 00:16:24,954 --> 00:16:26,454 There wasn't even an awning in their direction. 263 00:16:26,554 --> 00:16:28,754 -No, I know. -They just jumped 20 stories. 264 00:16:28,854 --> 00:16:30,154 Doesn't make sense, does it? 265 00:16:30,254 --> 00:16:34,154 I only hope God lets them take theit.357s with them to heaven. 266 00:16:34,154 --> 00:16:37,554 It's our moment, Allen. Our moment to step up and be the guys. 267 00:16:38,054 --> 00:16:40,655 -We're at a funeral. Show some respect. -What? 268 00:16:40,955 --> 00:16:44,055 You don't think every other detective here isn't thinking the same thing? 269 00:16:46,855 --> 00:16:48,955 Allen, listen to me. Danson and Highsmith are gone. 270 00:16:49,055 --> 00:16:51,955 Their desks are empty. Someone has to fill those seats. 271 00:16:52,155 --> 00:16:55,656 That someone is us, okay? The city's dying for a hero. 272 00:16:55,956 --> 00:16:57,456 -ls it? -Yeah. 273 00:16:57,556 --> 00:17:01,156 What about nine million socially-conscious and unified citizens, 274 00:17:01,256 --> 00:17:03,056 all just stepping up and doing their part? 275 00:17:03,156 --> 00:17:05,356 As a little kid, didn't you dress up and play cops and robbers? 276 00:17:05,456 --> 00:17:07,656 I'll tell you what I did as a little kid. 277 00:17:07,656 --> 00:17:10,056 I went to school and made my bed. 278 00:17:10,156 --> 00:17:12,756 And at age 11, I audited my parents. 279 00:17:12,857 --> 00:17:16,157 And believe me, there were some discrepancies, and I was grounded. 280 00:17:16,157 --> 00:17:18,057 What the hell are you? 281 00:17:18,157 --> 00:17:21,157 Well, well, well. What do we got here? 282 00:17:21,257 --> 00:17:25,257 Look at these two jamokes, would you? One shot Jeter and the other shot an office. 283 00:17:28,557 --> 00:17:31,358 Have some decorum. We're at a funeral. 284 00:17:31,358 --> 00:17:33,558 You wanna dance, brolio? 285 00:17:33,658 --> 00:17:37,958 I will rock your body with big, nasty hooks. You'll be pissing blood out of your ass. 286 00:17:38,058 --> 00:17:39,058 That's horrible. 287 00:17:39,158 --> 00:17:40,358 Why don't you step back, man? 288 00:17:40,458 --> 00:17:41,858 You touch him, I swear to God 289 00:17:41,958 --> 00:17:43,858 I'm gonna beat the shit out of you with Allen's head. 290 00:17:43,858 --> 00:17:46,458 He's not gonna do that. That's hyperbole. But that's a weird example. 291 00:17:46,558 --> 00:17:48,359 -You wanna go? -I wanna go! 292 00:17:49,759 --> 00:17:51,059 -Get him off. -Kick his ass, Martin. 293 00:17:51,759 --> 00:17:52,959 Yeah. How do you like that? 294 00:17:54,359 --> 00:17:55,859 -Pull his hair! -I love it. 295 00:17:56,059 --> 00:17:57,759 This hurts so good. 296 00:17:58,659 --> 00:18:00,859 -Very sorry for your loss, ma'am. -What a lovely hat. 297 00:18:00,959 --> 00:18:02,459 I love your shoes. 298 00:18:03,059 --> 00:18:04,559 -It's fine, it's fine. -Go, go. 299 00:18:05,260 --> 00:18:06,360 Punish him! 300 00:18:06,960 --> 00:18:08,460 Oh, man. 301 00:18:09,160 --> 00:18:11,060 Do it. That's how we do it in the hood. 302 00:18:11,160 --> 00:18:12,360 -Punish him. -That's not even a move. 303 00:18:13,660 --> 00:18:15,960 I'm the winner. I'm the winner, everybody saw it. 304 00:18:16,060 --> 00:18:17,960 What the hell is going on here? 305 00:18:18,560 --> 00:18:20,160 Two good men are dead, 306 00:18:20,160 --> 00:18:23,261 and you guys are fighting over who's gonna be the next hotshot? 307 00:18:23,361 --> 00:18:24,461 Is that what's happening? 308 00:18:24,561 --> 00:18:26,161 Yes, that's exactly what's happening. 309 00:18:27,361 --> 00:18:28,861 Let me tell you something. 310 00:18:29,561 --> 00:18:30,861 -Sorry for your loss, Lorraine. -Very sorry. 311 00:18:31,361 --> 00:18:33,261 -Sorry, Lorraine. -Sorry, Lorraine. 312 00:18:33,861 --> 00:18:35,161 Hi, I'm Jimmy. 313 00:18:36,361 --> 00:18:37,961 -Too soon? -Why'd you say that? 314 00:18:38,561 --> 00:18:40,162 I'll tell you something about those guys. 315 00:18:41,162 --> 00:18:44,862 They knew that to become a good cop, you had to solve cases. Okay? 316 00:18:45,662 --> 00:18:48,862 Okay, and maybe you start with the Castien robbery. 317 00:18:49,362 --> 00:18:51,562 Okay? So just watch it. 318 00:18:52,762 --> 00:18:54,762 Next time, me, you, library. 319 00:18:54,862 --> 00:18:56,963 -Not even close. -Come on, guys. Guys, come on. 320 00:18:57,663 --> 00:18:59,663 -You are... -I'm the winner! 321 00:18:59,663 --> 00:19:02,963 I didn't need you to stick up for me, okay? I could've handled that myself. 322 00:19:03,063 --> 00:19:06,763 Hey, don't flatter yourself. It's the partner's code. I had no choice. 323 00:19:06,863 --> 00:19:08,063 Move. 324 00:19:17,064 --> 00:19:20,264 -9:15, let's have a great day, everybody! -Cut the shit! 325 00:19:27,264 --> 00:19:28,464 Good morning. 326 00:19:29,364 --> 00:19:32,665 We've got shots fited. 509 East 10th Stteet. 327 00:19:32,665 --> 00:19:34,665 Thete ate latge amounts of cocaine on the scene. 328 00:19:34,665 --> 00:19:35,865 Tty to stay out of ttouble, boys. 329 00:19:35,965 --> 00:19:37,565 There's no chance you'd wanna go on that call, right? 330 00:19:37,665 --> 00:19:39,465 No chance. Too busy. 331 00:19:39,765 --> 00:19:44,165 All right, ladies. Starting to get the picture? We're about to lock shit down. 332 00:19:44,265 --> 00:19:46,165 -That's right. -You girls stay here and get your type on. 333 00:19:46,365 --> 00:19:48,265 Go get them, guys. Lot of energy, lot of focus. 334 00:19:48,365 --> 00:19:49,466 Shut up! 335 00:19:49,566 --> 00:19:51,766 Allen, could I see you in the hallway for a second? 336 00:19:51,866 --> 00:19:53,366 I... I'm super busy right now, Terry. 337 00:19:53,366 --> 00:19:55,266 No, no, no, I know. This'll be real quick. 338 00:19:55,366 --> 00:19:57,266 It's about the construction permits you were talking about. 339 00:19:57,366 --> 00:19:59,366 -The scaffolding violations? -This is our thing, yeah. 340 00:20:00,966 --> 00:20:02,566 So, what do you got? 341 00:20:02,666 --> 00:20:05,166 I got this! I'll put one right in your neck. 342 00:20:05,166 --> 00:20:06,267 What are you doing? 343 00:20:06,367 --> 00:20:09,067 Let's go. We're going to that call. 344 00:20:09,167 --> 00:20:10,767 -What is this? -Shut up. 345 00:20:10,867 --> 00:20:13,167 We're going to the car, and we're going after this case. 346 00:20:13,267 --> 00:20:14,667 -You're not gonna shoot me. -I won't? 347 00:20:14,767 --> 00:20:16,267 -No. -I shot Jeter. 348 00:20:16,367 --> 00:20:18,467 -That was an accident. -Was it? 349 00:20:18,567 --> 00:20:20,067 -Now move. -Okay. 350 00:20:20,867 --> 00:20:22,167 Hey. 351 00:20:22,267 --> 00:20:25,468 Does anybody see this? He's got a gun on me. 352 00:20:25,568 --> 00:20:27,368 I'm being kidnapped. 353 00:20:27,368 --> 00:20:30,468 Really, we're in a police station and no one is interested in this? 354 00:20:30,668 --> 00:20:33,068 -So, then what happened? -What do you think happened? 355 00:20:33,168 --> 00:20:36,568 I woke up, I took the belt off my neck, and I got in my car, and I got out of there. 356 00:20:36,668 --> 00:20:38,168 Talk about a wild weekend, right? 357 00:20:38,268 --> 00:20:41,569 I thought I was gonna have to shoot my way out. 358 00:20:41,669 --> 00:20:43,869 What are you gonna do, though, you know? Bar mitzvahs. 359 00:20:46,269 --> 00:20:48,069 What the hell is this? 360 00:20:48,169 --> 00:20:50,869 It's my car. It's a Prius. 361 00:20:50,969 --> 00:20:54,669 I feel like we're literally driving around in a vagina. 362 00:20:54,769 --> 00:20:57,569 Detective Hoitz and Gamble are on that 518 on East 10th. 363 00:20:57,669 --> 00:20:59,770 Negatory, Martin and Fosse, two minutes out. 364 00:20:59,770 --> 00:21:01,570 We'll just see who's there first. 365 00:21:01,570 --> 00:21:04,270 You stay out of our crime scene! You hear me? 366 00:21:04,470 --> 00:21:06,070 Go, go, go! 367 00:21:06,470 --> 00:21:09,170 You feel that, Allen? That tingling in your balls? 368 00:21:09,270 --> 00:21:11,070 Big metal butterflies fluttering around in your stomach? 369 00:21:11,170 --> 00:21:12,770 Are you sure you don't have testicular cancer? 370 00:21:12,870 --> 00:21:14,970 I got something to get you going. 371 00:21:17,771 --> 00:21:19,971 Let's go do some damage! 372 00:21:21,371 --> 00:21:22,571 Nope. 373 00:21:24,971 --> 00:21:26,171 What the hell is that? 374 00:21:26,471 --> 00:21:28,571 LRB. Little River Band. 375 00:21:28,971 --> 00:21:31,271 This music makes me feel like I'm going shopping for a training bra. 376 00:21:31,571 --> 00:21:34,072 You know what? We go with no music, okay? 377 00:21:34,172 --> 00:21:35,272 -Fine. -Say bye. 378 00:21:35,372 --> 00:21:36,472 No, no, no, don't say bye... 379 00:21:36,572 --> 00:21:38,272 You just signed your own death warrant, Hoitz! 380 00:21:38,372 --> 00:21:41,572 Allen, punch that accelerator or I will shoot you in the foot! 381 00:21:41,672 --> 00:21:43,072 America! 382 00:21:43,372 --> 00:21:45,672 Allen! Allen, hit the brake! 383 00:21:46,672 --> 00:21:49,472 Seriously, slow the car down! We're approaching the crime scene! 384 00:21:49,472 --> 00:21:50,573 Terry, I'm coming in. 385 00:21:50,673 --> 00:21:52,473 You're gonna smash right through the tape! Allen! 386 00:21:52,873 --> 00:21:54,273 Dude! What... 387 00:21:59,473 --> 00:22:01,673 That's a lot of cocaine. 388 00:22:02,573 --> 00:22:05,573 Did you yell "America" when you hit the accelerator? 389 00:22:05,673 --> 00:22:07,474 Nope. No. No. 390 00:22:08,174 --> 00:22:10,474 I've never actually put my foot all the way down 391 00:22:11,274 --> 00:22:14,474 to the ground with the accelerator like that. 392 00:22:15,674 --> 00:22:17,974 It got me slightly aroused. 393 00:22:20,474 --> 00:22:22,074 Here we go. 394 00:22:24,174 --> 00:22:27,675 Way to put your stamp on the crime scene, guys. 395 00:22:27,775 --> 00:22:30,175 -Prius, huh? -Yep, yep. 396 00:22:30,275 --> 00:22:31,475 Good mileage? 397 00:22:31,575 --> 00:22:32,975 -Outstanding. -Yeah. 398 00:22:33,075 --> 00:22:35,675 Did this come with a dental dam? 399 00:22:36,375 --> 00:22:38,275 -No. -Get it? 400 00:22:39,775 --> 00:22:41,676 My Suburban shit one of these last night. 401 00:22:41,776 --> 00:22:43,376 I didn't know they put tampons on wheels. 402 00:22:44,976 --> 00:22:46,176 We've had our fun, huh? 403 00:22:46,276 --> 00:22:49,176 Looks like Scarface sneezed on your car. 404 00:22:49,976 --> 00:22:51,076 All right, everybody! 405 00:22:51,176 --> 00:22:54,176 I'm gonna need you all to back up now. We're taking over. 406 00:22:54,276 --> 00:22:56,676 "At the crime scene, LOL." 407 00:22:56,876 --> 00:22:58,476 -Good tweet, good tweet. -Yeah, thanks. 408 00:22:58,877 --> 00:23:02,677 Ametica has always been defined by its excess. 409 00:23:03,877 --> 00:23:06,377 The Gtand Canyon, ptofessional spotts conttacts. 410 00:23:06,377 --> 00:23:08,877 Wendy's Baconatot, extta bacon. 411 00:23:08,877 --> 00:23:12,777 I myself have 18 Lambotghinis 412 00:23:13,977 --> 00:23:15,877 and a Subatu station wagon. 413 00:23:16,178 --> 00:23:19,078 And it's because of this excess that I have floutished. 414 00:23:19,178 --> 00:23:22,778 I implote you, please, do not stop ptofiting. 415 00:23:22,878 --> 00:23:26,578 Live fot excess. It's the Ametican way. 416 00:23:33,178 --> 00:23:34,479 Hello. 417 00:23:35,179 --> 00:23:38,279 Mr. Ershon? I believe this call's for you. 418 00:23:41,779 --> 00:23:42,879 Sir David. 419 00:23:42,979 --> 00:23:46,579 David. You're not returning my calls, so I'd like you to meet Roger Wesley. 420 00:23:46,679 --> 00:23:48,279 -G'day, mate. -Hey. 421 00:23:48,679 --> 00:23:50,980 Roger and his team are gonna babysit you because I don't trust you, 422 00:23:51,080 --> 00:23:52,380 because I think you're going to take off. 423 00:23:53,080 --> 00:23:55,880 Pamela, this is ridiculous. I'm not going anywhere. 424 00:23:55,980 --> 00:23:58,380 David, listen, the Lendl quarterlies come out on the 26th. 425 00:23:58,480 --> 00:24:01,280 You have until then to give me my money. I'm not reporting any losses, David. 426 00:24:01,380 --> 00:24:03,280 I have zeroed in on a new investor. 427 00:24:03,380 --> 00:24:06,380 Well, then, you get theit money, make it disappeat, and then pay us back. 428 00:24:06,480 --> 00:24:09,781 Yes, yes, I'll tell him he doesn't need to keep watching me. 429 00:24:09,881 --> 00:24:12,281 -David! -Okay, sweetheart, bye-bye. 430 00:24:12,481 --> 00:24:16,781 Yeah. She overreacted. She's a woman. So, you're good to go. 431 00:24:17,281 --> 00:24:18,381 Heard everything, mate. 432 00:24:18,581 --> 00:24:19,681 Ladies and gentlemen, 433 00:24:19,781 --> 00:24:24,281 guess who gave me the secrets to making my first billion dollars. 434 00:24:26,182 --> 00:24:27,682 That man there. 435 00:24:28,482 --> 00:24:30,482 Go! Go! 436 00:24:30,782 --> 00:24:32,582 -Side! -Step aside, please. 437 00:24:33,382 --> 00:24:35,182 You don't think I'm a real cop, do you? 438 00:24:35,182 --> 00:24:37,482 No, I don't. I've said that directly to your face numerous times. 439 00:24:37,582 --> 00:24:38,682 I was really honest about that. 440 00:24:38,782 --> 00:24:41,282 I'm working on a huge case, all right? 441 00:24:41,382 --> 00:24:43,483 Property owner with seven buildings under construction. 442 00:24:43,583 --> 00:24:46,683 He hasn't applied for a single scaffolding permit. 443 00:24:46,783 --> 00:24:50,783 Now, according to Ask Jeeves, this perp is at the Plaza Hotel speaking right now. 444 00:24:50,883 --> 00:24:54,583 -That's your big case? Scaffolding permits? -Yeah. 445 00:24:55,183 --> 00:24:57,883 Guess what? You're coming with me. 446 00:24:58,683 --> 00:25:00,584 It's a wooden gun. 447 00:25:02,984 --> 00:25:04,884 That hurts, man! 448 00:25:07,184 --> 00:25:10,984 I've always got Little River Band loaded up here. I've got six disks in here. 449 00:25:11,884 --> 00:25:14,984 Claude, meet me outside, at the back of the service entrance. 450 00:25:15,084 --> 00:25:17,585 I'm flying Air Singapore. 451 00:25:17,685 --> 00:25:19,385 -Hey, Douglas. How's the wife? -She died. 452 00:25:19,485 --> 00:25:20,585 Attaboy! 453 00:25:20,585 --> 00:25:22,585 I'll be there in two minutes exactly. 454 00:25:22,785 --> 00:25:26,385 Another thing I hate about you? You always pay in exact change. 455 00:25:26,385 --> 00:25:28,685 You're just mad because I have a nice change purse. 456 00:25:28,785 --> 00:25:29,885 Why do you even care? 457 00:25:29,985 --> 00:25:32,985 How can I help it? You know what? You know what's worse? 458 00:25:33,085 --> 00:25:35,086 The way you fart. Even your farts, they're not manly. 459 00:25:35,186 --> 00:25:36,286 You're being ridiculous. 460 00:25:36,386 --> 00:25:38,986 They sound like a baby blowing out the candles on a birthday cake. 461 00:25:39,086 --> 00:25:40,386 -What? -Like a little... 462 00:25:40,386 --> 00:25:42,286 -You know what bugs me about you? -What? 463 00:25:42,386 --> 00:25:43,686 I'm pretty sure you've never voted. 464 00:25:43,786 --> 00:25:47,186 No, I vote. Sports radio, AM 880. Play of the week. 465 00:25:47,286 --> 00:25:49,586 You're like a child in a leather jacket. That's what you're like. 466 00:25:49,686 --> 00:25:50,686 Get out of the way, man! 467 00:25:50,786 --> 00:25:52,687 Wait. Are you David Ershon? 468 00:25:53,287 --> 00:25:56,087 Yeah, well, it's Sir David Ershon, but I don't bother with the... 469 00:25:56,187 --> 00:25:59,387 Anyway, little bit of a rush, gentlemen, if you don't mind. Thank you. 470 00:25:59,487 --> 00:26:02,787 -Excuse me, but you're under arrest, okay? -What? 471 00:26:02,787 --> 00:26:07,787 You have the right to remain silent. Anything you do or say can be used... 472 00:26:07,787 --> 00:26:09,988 -What's the next part? -As a floatation device. 473 00:26:10,088 --> 00:26:11,588 As a floatation device. 474 00:26:11,588 --> 00:26:15,188 You know what? That's very funny. I have never Miranda-ed anyone before. 475 00:26:15,288 --> 00:26:17,088 -Really? -Are you guys for real? 476 00:26:17,188 --> 00:26:18,188 Am I being punk'd? 477 00:26:19,388 --> 00:26:20,688 Detective Allen Gamble. 478 00:26:20,788 --> 00:26:23,688 We are in a cocaine-covered car, and we are bringing in a perp. 479 00:26:23,788 --> 00:26:26,589 -One David Ershon. -175 pounds. 480 00:26:26,689 --> 00:26:28,689 -Thank you. 175 pounds. -Shut up, man, shut up! 481 00:26:28,889 --> 00:26:32,689 Martin and Fosse are probably on Studio B talking to Shepard Smith right now. 482 00:26:32,789 --> 00:26:35,589 We arrest this jerkoff for a scaffolding permit? 483 00:26:35,689 --> 00:26:37,889 Wait, wait, wait, what am I being arrested for? 484 00:26:37,989 --> 00:26:39,889 For scaffolding permit violation... 485 00:26:48,890 --> 00:26:50,790 -I got my insurance card. Somewhere. -Easy, mate. 486 00:26:50,890 --> 00:26:53,190 -What the hell? You ran right into us! -Stand over there. 487 00:26:53,790 --> 00:26:54,790 Wood? 488 00:26:55,390 --> 00:26:56,490 What the... 489 00:26:56,590 --> 00:26:58,390 -Couldn't see the car. It's big enough, mate. -What? 490 00:26:58,490 --> 00:27:00,090 Do not let these men take me. 491 00:27:01,891 --> 00:27:02,991 Hi. 492 00:27:04,091 --> 00:27:05,591 Why's she looking at you like that? 493 00:27:05,691 --> 00:27:07,191 That's my car! 494 00:27:07,291 --> 00:27:10,991 Hey, hey, hey! We didn't exchange insurance information! 495 00:27:11,391 --> 00:27:12,991 Hey! Excuse me! 496 00:27:13,791 --> 00:27:16,191 Why did they take our shoes? 497 00:27:16,291 --> 00:27:19,692 -What the hell just happened? -Where's my iPhone? 498 00:27:20,892 --> 00:27:22,992 I think we've walked 30 blocks, man. 499 00:27:23,092 --> 00:27:28,192 I don't get why we can't just call the office and have a squad car come pick us up. 500 00:27:28,292 --> 00:27:30,692 No. They took our shoes, our guns, and our car. 501 00:27:30,892 --> 00:27:32,492 There's no way that's going out on the radio. 502 00:27:32,892 --> 00:27:35,993 Look, if we're gonna do this together, there's some issues we need to settle, okay? 503 00:27:36,093 --> 00:27:39,693 I mean, you said I had a weak chin. You said the way I pee is feminine. 504 00:27:39,693 --> 00:27:40,893 How do you think that makes me feel? 505 00:27:40,993 --> 00:27:46,093 I mean, that list you have, you put a lot of thought in. It's weird. 506 00:27:46,193 --> 00:27:48,393 I hear you. 507 00:27:48,493 --> 00:27:53,294 Let's clean the slate right now. Fresh start. 508 00:27:53,394 --> 00:27:55,994 All right. Fresh start. 509 00:27:57,694 --> 00:28:01,294 Maybe we should call ourselves the Febreze Brothers, 510 00:28:01,394 --> 00:28:02,894 'cause it's feeling so fresh right now. 511 00:28:04,494 --> 00:28:05,594 Right? 512 00:28:05,894 --> 00:28:08,794 Let's do another fresh start, 'cause I just wanted to punch you in the face. 513 00:28:08,994 --> 00:28:11,595 Fine, fresh start. 514 00:28:11,695 --> 00:28:13,495 It's the last one. 515 00:28:13,595 --> 00:28:15,495 I have to be able to express myself and say things, you know. 516 00:28:18,495 --> 00:28:21,195 -Okay, folks! Everybody, listen up! -Listen up! 517 00:28:21,295 --> 00:28:23,195 Got a high profile kidnapping. 518 00:28:23,395 --> 00:28:26,795 David Ershon, wealthy banker, multinational team. 519 00:28:26,895 --> 00:28:28,896 Maybe a sleeper cell, but it's too early to tell. 520 00:28:28,996 --> 00:28:33,396 Hey, Bilbo Baggins. Where are your shoes? 'Cause your feet are black. 521 00:28:33,496 --> 00:28:35,496 Who cares? It's not important, okay? 522 00:28:35,596 --> 00:28:38,096 Hoitz, Gamble, Captain. Not good. 523 00:28:40,096 --> 00:28:41,696 -Bye, guys. -Bye-bye. 524 00:28:41,796 --> 00:28:42,896 Come on. 525 00:28:43,296 --> 00:28:46,497 Guys, this is Don Beaman, the attorney for Mr. Ershon. 526 00:28:46,597 --> 00:28:48,697 Roger Wesley, head of his private security. 527 00:28:48,797 --> 00:28:50,697 -Hey, how are you? You son of a bitch! -Hey, hey, hey! 528 00:28:50,797 --> 00:28:52,597 Hey, Terry! Take it easy! 529 00:28:52,597 --> 00:28:54,597 -That's the guy who took our guns, Captain. -And my shoes! 530 00:28:54,697 --> 00:28:57,697 Wait a minute, wait a minute. Did you identify yourselves as police officers? 531 00:28:57,797 --> 00:28:58,897 What is this? 532 00:28:58,997 --> 00:29:01,297 -Allen, tell me. Did you? -No, we did not. 533 00:29:01,397 --> 00:29:05,398 Sorry, gentlemen. We thought you were abducting Mr. Ershon. 534 00:29:05,998 --> 00:29:07,098 It's only protocol. 535 00:29:07,298 --> 00:29:11,998 Mr. Ershon has agreed to correct this scaffolding situation. The case is closed. 536 00:29:11,998 --> 00:29:14,498 I've taken care of all necessary paperwork. 537 00:29:14,598 --> 00:29:16,698 And you fellas, at this point, should just be glad that 538 00:29:16,798 --> 00:29:20,299 Mr. Ershon is not pressing charges for excessive use of force. 539 00:29:20,399 --> 00:29:21,899 -Thank you, Captain. -You bet. 540 00:29:22,399 --> 00:29:23,999 Australian? 541 00:29:24,099 --> 00:29:25,499 Special Forces, right? 542 00:29:25,899 --> 00:29:28,399 Best watch your step, Detective. 543 00:29:28,499 --> 00:29:31,199 There are three things I love in this world. 544 00:29:31,299 --> 00:29:32,399 Kylie Minogue, 545 00:29:33,999 --> 00:29:36,700 small dimples just above a woman's buttocks... 546 00:29:36,900 --> 00:29:38,200 Beautiful features. 547 00:29:38,300 --> 00:29:41,000 ...and the fear in a man's eye who knows I'm about to hurt him. 548 00:29:41,200 --> 00:29:45,700 Hey! Shake your dicks. This pissing contest is over. 549 00:29:45,800 --> 00:29:47,100 Come on, man. 550 00:29:49,700 --> 00:29:52,800 All right, look, they returned your shoes. 551 00:29:53,200 --> 00:29:57,401 And they returned your weapons. Here you go, Terry. 552 00:29:59,001 --> 00:30:01,701 Allen, someone was nice enough to put linseed oil on it, 553 00:30:01,801 --> 00:30:04,701 some kind of stain on that, dark walnut or something. 554 00:30:04,701 --> 00:30:07,301 You might wanna think about dropping them a thank you note. 555 00:30:07,401 --> 00:30:08,501 Okay. 556 00:30:08,601 --> 00:30:09,701 You're mad at us, huh, Gene? 557 00:30:09,801 --> 00:30:13,502 First off, don't call me Gene. I'm your captain. 558 00:30:13,602 --> 00:30:16,202 Guys, do you remember the "Be Smart" speech? 559 00:30:16,302 --> 00:30:17,402 -Sure. -All right. 560 00:30:17,502 --> 00:30:20,102 Well, what did you do? What'd you do about it? 561 00:30:20,202 --> 00:30:23,002 The opposite. We were not smart, Captain Gene. 562 00:30:23,102 --> 00:30:25,102 It's just "Captain." 563 00:30:25,102 --> 00:30:28,202 Just "Captain." It's not "Captain Gene." I don't have a kiddie show. 564 00:30:28,302 --> 00:30:29,903 That sounds creepy, "Captain Gene." 565 00:30:30,303 --> 00:30:34,403 Police mistakenly attest investment banket, David Etshon. 566 00:30:34,403 --> 00:30:37,403 Was he the victim of financial ptofiling? 567 00:30:37,403 --> 00:30:42,103 Financial profiling? That's crazy. He broke the law and we arrested him. 568 00:30:42,203 --> 00:30:46,304 That wasn't a security team. He said, "Don't let these people take me." 569 00:30:46,404 --> 00:30:48,804 I mean, when you hear hooves, you think horses, not zebras. 570 00:30:50,104 --> 00:30:51,904 What about donkeys or deer? 571 00:30:52,004 --> 00:30:54,004 They have hooves. What about bovine creatures? 572 00:30:56,004 --> 00:30:58,104 Were you just thinking to yourself, "Fresh start"? 573 00:30:58,204 --> 00:31:01,104 -Yeah. -Yeah. I could see it. 574 00:31:01,204 --> 00:31:03,305 Listen, why don't we just go over to my place? 575 00:31:03,405 --> 00:31:04,705 We'll talk the case down. 576 00:31:04,805 --> 00:31:06,805 We can have a little dinner. You can meet Sheila. 577 00:31:06,905 --> 00:31:09,605 Two cops talking down a case while eating food, all right? 578 00:31:09,705 --> 00:31:10,905 -It's not dinner. -Fine. 579 00:31:11,005 --> 00:31:12,805 And let me apologize in advance, okay, 580 00:31:12,805 --> 00:31:15,205 in case my wife acts like a world-class bitch. 581 00:31:15,305 --> 00:31:20,506 She's a big old broad, and she likes to wield it. 582 00:31:21,206 --> 00:31:26,506 Okay, so I put together a little bio, complete with pictures of Mr. David Ershon. 583 00:31:26,606 --> 00:31:30,006 I used Adobe Premiere. I like to do a little weekend editing. 584 00:31:30,106 --> 00:31:33,706 I recently just cut three minutes out of Goodfellas. 585 00:31:33,806 --> 00:31:37,006 David Etshon is cuttently the CEO of Etshon Consottium. 586 00:31:37,106 --> 00:31:38,207 Who's that talking? 587 00:31:38,307 --> 00:31:40,807 It's the Ftontline Narration App. It's only 99 cents. 588 00:31:40,907 --> 00:31:44,907 Etshon Consottium, cuttent financial investments exceed $70 billion. 589 00:31:45,007 --> 00:31:48,007 His latgest clients include Scheting-Plough and Lendl Global. 590 00:31:48,107 --> 00:31:50,807 Lendl Global has those TV ads where I can't figure out what they do. 591 00:31:51,007 --> 00:31:54,007 Yeah, oil, media, health care, you've probably heard their jingle. 592 00:31:54,107 --> 00:31:57,108 Lendl Global, we'te in evetything 593 00:31:57,208 --> 00:32:00,008 David Etshon is often found in the company of Judge Scalia... 594 00:32:00,108 --> 00:32:02,408 -Yeah. -...and the lead singet of Matoon 5. 595 00:32:02,508 --> 00:32:04,308 I mean, this guy could be connected to drug cartels, 596 00:32:04,408 --> 00:32:07,208 black market organ sales, human trafficking, all of it. 597 00:32:07,308 --> 00:32:09,008 How do you get that from anything I just said? 598 00:32:09,008 --> 00:32:10,808 Hey, guys! Soup's on. 599 00:32:10,908 --> 00:32:12,308 What do you mean? 600 00:32:14,409 --> 00:32:15,509 Hi. 601 00:32:15,609 --> 00:32:17,209 -Hi. -You must be Terry. 602 00:32:17,209 --> 00:32:20,509 I'm sorry I've been hiding, honey, but this dinner was tricky. 603 00:32:21,809 --> 00:32:24,609 -Who are you? -I'm Dr. Sheila Gamble, his wife. 604 00:32:24,909 --> 00:32:27,509 -Come on, seriously. Who is that? -His old lady. 605 00:32:27,609 --> 00:32:30,110 -Sweetie, it's a workstation. -Got it. 606 00:32:30,210 --> 00:32:33,710 And you come in here, dressed like a hobo, it's distracting. 607 00:32:33,810 --> 00:32:35,810 I know you're working. I'm so sorry. 608 00:32:35,910 --> 00:32:37,910 -Come on, seriously. -Come on, what? 609 00:32:37,910 --> 00:32:39,210 Who is that? 610 00:32:39,210 --> 00:32:41,310 That's the old... That's the old ball and chain. 611 00:32:43,610 --> 00:32:45,210 Get over here. 612 00:32:45,210 --> 00:32:46,910 -Not... Not right now. -Okay. 613 00:32:46,910 --> 00:32:48,911 Look, they're not all first-round picks, okay? 614 00:32:49,311 --> 00:32:50,711 Come on, are you gonna tell me who that is? 615 00:32:51,611 --> 00:32:55,111 -Are you really Allen's wife? -I know. 616 00:32:55,211 --> 00:32:58,711 People are shocked because he's Episcopalian and I'm Catholic, 617 00:32:59,411 --> 00:33:00,811 but somehow it works. 618 00:33:01,511 --> 00:33:04,111 -Are you gonna change? -I already did. 619 00:33:04,312 --> 00:33:06,412 It's no big deal. You look really, really nice. 620 00:33:06,512 --> 00:33:10,612 Terry, you don't have to be polite, okay? She looks kind of shitty. 621 00:33:10,712 --> 00:33:12,012 Don't speak to her like that, Allen. 622 00:33:12,112 --> 00:33:16,412 Look, if I put that in my Cosmo Fashion App, you'd probably get a D-. 623 00:33:16,912 --> 00:33:18,712 Allen and his apps. He loves them. 624 00:33:18,812 --> 00:33:22,313 You know he's designed three of his own? One of them... Can I tell him? 625 00:33:22,913 --> 00:33:24,813 One of them, you can take a picture of anybody's face, 626 00:33:24,913 --> 00:33:27,713 and it'll tell you what the back of his head looks like. 627 00:33:27,913 --> 00:33:29,313 -Faceback. -Faceback. 628 00:33:29,413 --> 00:33:31,413 Got some horrible reviews coming out of the gate. 629 00:33:31,813 --> 00:33:32,913 -It's gonna hit. -It's gonna catch. 630 00:33:33,013 --> 00:33:35,113 Why are you with Allen? 631 00:33:35,213 --> 00:33:39,114 I mean, that's not what I meant. I meant, how did you guys meet? 632 00:33:39,114 --> 00:33:41,614 It's a really typical "how we met" story, Terry. 633 00:33:42,214 --> 00:33:43,414 You're gonna be bored by it. 634 00:33:43,414 --> 00:33:47,414 I was a dancer for the Knicks while finishing my residency at Columbia Hospital. 635 00:33:47,514 --> 00:33:49,814 Allen came into the ER with poison ivy on his rectum. 636 00:33:49,914 --> 00:33:50,914 Yes. 637 00:33:51,014 --> 00:33:53,714 Needless to say, I fell for him immediately. 638 00:33:54,114 --> 00:33:58,315 We immediately spent the next three days at the La Quinta lnn, 639 00:33:59,015 --> 00:34:01,415 -and, to be honest, we didn't speak. -Three days 640 00:34:01,415 --> 00:34:04,015 of not communicating once verbally. 641 00:34:04,315 --> 00:34:06,415 We had actually, without knowing it, 642 00:34:06,415 --> 00:34:11,715 developed a language of eye flutters and non-verbal gestures. 643 00:34:12,015 --> 00:34:14,616 You know, Terry, it was just this primal connection. 644 00:34:15,116 --> 00:34:20,116 After those three days of non-verbal communication and a whole lot of loving, 645 00:34:20,316 --> 00:34:23,616 I had to go to a specialist to get my hips realigned. 646 00:34:24,016 --> 00:34:27,616 Similar to operating on a German shepherd 647 00:34:28,416 --> 00:34:31,917 -when they have hip dysplasia. -Very painful. 648 00:34:32,317 --> 00:34:36,317 It's funny, it's like a scene from that one movie, always forget the name of it. 649 00:34:36,417 --> 00:34:37,617 -With Meg Ryan. -Yes. 650 00:34:37,617 --> 00:34:40,617 I don't remember a movie where Meg Ryan meets a guy with poison ivy up his ass. 651 00:34:40,717 --> 00:34:43,117 -I'll think of it. I'll think of it. -Okay. 652 00:34:43,217 --> 00:34:44,917 So, what about you, Terry? Do you have a girl? 653 00:34:45,017 --> 00:34:47,017 I did, yeah. 654 00:34:47,117 --> 00:34:49,618 We were supposed to get married, but she backed out. It's complicated. 655 00:34:49,618 --> 00:34:52,118 -Terry shot Derek Jeter. -Shut up, Allen. This was before. 656 00:34:52,218 --> 00:34:53,418 That's okay. 657 00:34:53,518 --> 00:34:55,518 She's Got Mail. That's the name of the movie. 658 00:34:55,618 --> 00:34:57,518 That's it! Honey! 659 00:34:57,618 --> 00:34:58,718 -With Tom Hanks? -Right. 660 00:34:58,818 --> 00:34:59,818 -And Meg Ryan. -Meg Ryan. 661 00:34:59,918 --> 00:35:01,018 He didn't have poison ivy up his ass. 662 00:35:01,118 --> 00:35:02,418 -Yes, he did. -Yes, he did. Yeah. 663 00:35:02,518 --> 00:35:03,718 Way up there. 664 00:35:04,218 --> 00:35:06,819 Well, Terry, can't thank you enough for coming by. What a... 665 00:35:06,919 --> 00:35:08,619 What a wonderful, lovely evening. Thank you. 666 00:35:08,619 --> 00:35:12,319 -lt was so, so nice meeting you, Terry. -lt was my pleasure. Thank you. 667 00:35:12,319 --> 00:35:16,819 And remember, all I ask of you is, you don't let him get hurt, Terry. 668 00:35:17,019 --> 00:35:19,319 -She tells me that every day before I leave. -Yep, I do. 669 00:35:19,719 --> 00:35:22,519 I come downstairs and I make him his fresh-cut strawberries, 670 00:35:22,619 --> 00:35:25,420 and I say, "Listen, my little sugar balls, whatever you do today, 671 00:35:25,520 --> 00:35:26,820 "you just don't get hurt." 672 00:35:26,820 --> 00:35:28,220 Yeah. Every morning. 673 00:35:28,620 --> 00:35:32,120 And then I show him my breasts, and I say, "These are waiting for you 674 00:35:32,220 --> 00:35:33,320 -"when you get back home." -Right. 675 00:35:33,420 --> 00:35:36,320 You know, Terry, they're not the biggest breasts he's ever seen, 676 00:35:36,320 --> 00:35:38,820 -but, man, are they perky. -Not by a long shot. 677 00:35:38,820 --> 00:35:41,521 -And they are firm, and they are yours. -You're a nice lady. 678 00:35:43,321 --> 00:35:44,521 Thank you for coming. 679 00:35:44,921 --> 00:35:48,821 Detectives Hoitz and Gamble? Detectives Hoitz and Gamble? Ovet. 680 00:35:49,021 --> 00:35:50,021 Go for Hoitz. 681 00:35:50,121 --> 00:35:51,621 -We found yout ted Ptius. -Great. 682 00:35:51,721 --> 00:35:53,821 It was ttying to vote fot Ralph Nadet. 683 00:35:53,921 --> 00:35:56,121 -Come on. -Okay, sugar balls, listen up. 684 00:35:56,221 --> 00:35:57,522 There's gonna be fingerprints on that car. 685 00:35:57,622 --> 00:35:59,922 Tomorrow, we're gonna run those fingerprints through the system. 686 00:36:00,022 --> 00:36:03,722 And if we get a hit, this case is gonna heat up faster than a junkie's spoon. 687 00:36:03,722 --> 00:36:06,122 You do one thing when you wake up tomorrow, bring it. 688 00:36:06,222 --> 00:36:07,222 -Okay. -Thank you, Sheila. 689 00:36:07,322 --> 00:36:08,422 He'll bring it. 690 00:36:08,522 --> 00:36:10,122 -Good night! -Good night. 691 00:36:10,222 --> 00:36:11,522 Thank you, Sheila. 692 00:36:11,922 --> 00:36:14,923 -Bye, Terry! -Bye, Sheila! I'll never forget tonight. 693 00:36:15,023 --> 00:36:16,823 -Bye, Terry! -All right, Allen, whatever. Go inside. 694 00:36:16,923 --> 00:36:18,023 Bye, Sheila! 695 00:36:18,023 --> 00:36:19,523 -Night! -See you... See you, Terry! 696 00:36:20,023 --> 00:36:21,523 Bye, Sheila. 697 00:36:25,523 --> 00:36:28,123 I don't know if he heard me. Bye, Terry! 698 00:36:28,223 --> 00:36:29,723 Bye, Sheila! 699 00:36:33,224 --> 00:36:37,624 Well, here she is. They left her under an overpass for the night. 700 00:36:37,724 --> 00:36:39,424 You find anything? 701 00:36:39,424 --> 00:36:42,224 Yeah. We found a lot of stuff. 702 00:36:42,324 --> 00:36:44,224 From bodily fluid and hair samples, 703 00:36:44,324 --> 00:36:47,424 we determined that a bunch of old, homeless dudes had an orgy in the car. 704 00:36:47,424 --> 00:36:49,725 -Oh, God. -Yeah. 705 00:36:49,825 --> 00:36:51,625 You know what that's called when they do that in there? 706 00:36:51,725 --> 00:36:53,225 That's called a soup kitchen. 707 00:36:53,225 --> 00:36:54,825 It's pretty rough stuff. 708 00:36:54,925 --> 00:36:58,425 Not long after that, a mama raccoon came along 709 00:36:58,525 --> 00:36:59,925 and gave birth on the floor. 710 00:37:00,825 --> 00:37:02,325 Placenta blew out all over the back window there. 711 00:37:03,525 --> 00:37:06,125 Yeah, and then to top it all off, some joker comes along 712 00:37:06,426 --> 00:37:09,526 takes himself a nifty little dump in the driver's seat. 713 00:37:09,826 --> 00:37:11,626 I think he knew you guys were cops, 714 00:37:12,026 --> 00:37:14,426 because this is what I would call a spite shit. 715 00:37:14,926 --> 00:37:16,326 You were able to determine all of that 716 00:37:16,426 --> 00:37:18,226 -from the hair and fluid samples? -Oh, yeah. 717 00:37:18,626 --> 00:37:20,526 What about fingerprints? You find any fingerprints? 718 00:37:20,626 --> 00:37:22,626 -Nope, couldn't get a one. -Found a cell phone. 719 00:37:23,126 --> 00:37:24,327 Yeah, that's mine. 720 00:37:24,427 --> 00:37:25,827 Any signs of a struggle or spent shells? 721 00:37:26,427 --> 00:37:30,627 No. Believe me, everybody that was in on this orgy was more than willing. 722 00:37:30,727 --> 00:37:32,827 In fact, they even left you a note here. 723 00:37:32,927 --> 00:37:36,627 "Thanks for the F-shack. Love, Dirty Mike and the boys." 724 00:37:36,727 --> 00:37:37,727 Here's something we found. 725 00:37:37,827 --> 00:37:40,427 We found about a dozen unscratched lottery tickets. 726 00:37:40,627 --> 00:37:43,728 No fingerprints or nothing. Check that out. 727 00:37:43,828 --> 00:37:47,228 Yeah, it's a real shame, you know. I got myself a Prius. It's a hell of a machine. 728 00:37:48,028 --> 00:37:51,028 It's my first brand-new car. I've never owned a new car. 729 00:37:51,028 --> 00:37:52,828 Found a deer vagina. 730 00:37:53,728 --> 00:37:55,928 -What? -Thought it was human lips at first. 731 00:37:56,028 --> 00:37:58,429 Then we took a closer look. It was definitely a deer vagina. 732 00:38:00,829 --> 00:38:01,629 Not even a free ticket. 733 00:38:02,929 --> 00:38:04,129 What are we gonna do? 734 00:38:04,229 --> 00:38:07,329 We got no fingerprints, a bunch of losing lottery tickets. 735 00:38:07,529 --> 00:38:10,029 Look at this, there's a two-minute phone call made after we were jumped. 736 00:38:10,629 --> 00:38:12,529 -They used your phone? -They ghost dialed. 737 00:38:12,629 --> 00:38:13,829 Someone probably sat on it. 738 00:38:13,929 --> 00:38:16,630 It could have recorded some of their conversation when Ershon got grabbed. 739 00:38:16,730 --> 00:38:18,030 We gotta hear the other side of that call. 740 00:38:19,230 --> 00:38:20,630 Nope, no, it's nothing. 741 00:38:20,630 --> 00:38:22,930 -Nothing? It's the only lead we have. -It's nothing. It's nothing. 742 00:38:23,030 --> 00:38:24,430 Why did you just get super jumpy? 743 00:38:25,530 --> 00:38:26,630 What? 744 00:38:26,630 --> 00:38:28,630 It's an ex-girlfriend, okay? 745 00:38:28,730 --> 00:38:30,430 What's the matter? What happened with you guys? 746 00:38:30,530 --> 00:38:32,430 She was just a bit of a handful, that's it. 747 00:38:37,431 --> 00:38:39,331 Allen, it's the only lead we have. 748 00:38:39,431 --> 00:38:41,831 We either go with this or we walk away from this case right now. 749 00:38:42,331 --> 00:38:44,231 Fine. Let's go see her. 750 00:38:57,132 --> 00:38:58,432 Hello, Christinith. 751 00:38:58,532 --> 00:39:00,132 Hello, Allen. 752 00:39:02,532 --> 00:39:05,232 -That's my partner, Terry. -Hi, Telly. 753 00:39:05,732 --> 00:39:08,833 -Holy shit. Dude. -Just relax, relax. 754 00:39:09,633 --> 00:39:14,033 I waited for you in Tower Records for four hours. 755 00:39:15,033 --> 00:39:16,933 That was 13 years ago. 756 00:39:20,033 --> 00:39:24,934 Arnold Palmer alert. Arnold Palmer alert. Who wants some Arnie Palmies? 757 00:39:26,334 --> 00:39:27,934 Sweetie, this one has the vodky, right here. 758 00:39:28,034 --> 00:39:31,134 -Hal, just place it down, please. -All righty. 759 00:39:32,034 --> 00:39:33,234 Okay. 760 00:39:37,334 --> 00:39:42,535 I did things in bed with you that I haven't done with anyone since. 761 00:39:42,535 --> 00:39:43,835 No. 762 00:39:44,035 --> 00:39:46,735 -Christinith, your husband, it's awkward. -Oh, no, he knows all of this. 763 00:39:46,835 --> 00:39:49,335 -You're a lucky dog. -It's true. 764 00:39:52,435 --> 00:39:54,235 Christine, this is a lovely house. 765 00:39:54,335 --> 00:39:57,435 It's Christinith. Are you stupid, or are you deaf? 766 00:39:57,635 --> 00:40:00,236 Christinith, you idiot! 767 00:40:00,536 --> 00:40:04,936 You come to our house, you get my wife's name right! 768 00:40:05,336 --> 00:40:06,736 -What? -Christinith! 769 00:40:06,736 --> 00:40:09,536 Look, we really appreciate the hospitality. 770 00:40:09,836 --> 00:40:12,036 We'd just love to get the message off your cell phone. 771 00:40:12,136 --> 00:40:16,036 We believe it might give us information regarding a kidnapping. 772 00:40:18,937 --> 00:40:22,637 Okay. Why don't you come to the kitchen, and I will let you listen to it 773 00:40:22,637 --> 00:40:25,137 and everyone else stay here. 774 00:40:25,637 --> 00:40:28,237 -Okay, sweetie. -Come on. 775 00:40:32,137 --> 00:40:34,438 -There's my phone. -Great, thank you for... 776 00:40:37,838 --> 00:40:41,338 I hate you, you son of a bitch! 777 00:40:41,338 --> 00:40:44,738 -You're so strong. -I'm stronger than you will ever know! 778 00:40:44,838 --> 00:40:47,838 I hate you! I hate you! 779 00:40:47,938 --> 00:40:51,439 You're so adorable. Look at your face. Look at your face. 780 00:40:51,539 --> 00:40:55,539 You go, "l wuv you." Say it. "l wuv you, Cwistinith." 781 00:41:01,339 --> 00:41:05,739 You probably think because of the beard that I'm really hairy. 782 00:41:05,839 --> 00:41:07,839 But I'm not. 783 00:41:09,240 --> 00:41:10,640 Shaved. 784 00:41:11,140 --> 00:41:12,940 -Allen! -He's fine. 785 00:41:13,840 --> 00:41:15,040 Question. 786 00:41:16,140 --> 00:41:17,240 What would you rather be, 787 00:41:18,640 --> 00:41:21,140 a bear or a dog? 788 00:41:21,240 --> 00:41:24,240 -I don't care. -I wanna be 789 00:41:25,640 --> 00:41:28,141 a bear dog. Half dog, half bear. 790 00:41:28,841 --> 00:41:31,241 'Cause that way, I could live in the house 791 00:41:31,441 --> 00:41:34,441 but I still get to make a doodie out in the woods. 792 00:41:35,241 --> 00:41:36,441 Allen! 793 00:41:40,741 --> 00:41:42,241 Allen! Allen! 794 00:41:42,341 --> 00:41:45,542 -This is police evidence. Terry! Let's go! -Hey! 795 00:41:45,642 --> 00:41:48,142 You get back here and you make love to my wife! 796 00:41:48,242 --> 00:41:49,742 Allen! Allen! 797 00:41:50,642 --> 00:41:54,142 I don't get it, man. I just do not get it. 798 00:41:54,242 --> 00:41:56,442 I mean, that girl Christinith was seriously hot. 799 00:41:56,542 --> 00:41:58,242 Your wife is crazy hot. 800 00:41:58,342 --> 00:42:00,943 I mean, even that Brazilian security chick, she threw you a "Do me" vibe. 801 00:42:01,543 --> 00:42:03,043 What is it with you and hot ladies? 802 00:42:03,143 --> 00:42:06,443 First off, my wife is cute, but she's not hot. 803 00:42:06,543 --> 00:42:10,643 Dude, you're insane. Your wife is scalding hot. 804 00:42:10,743 --> 00:42:13,143 -You wanna listen to this message or not? -Yeah, whatever. 805 00:42:13,243 --> 00:42:14,143 You have one job, mate. 806 00:42:14,843 --> 00:42:16,843 Find a sucket to invest with you 807 00:42:16,943 --> 00:42:18,944 so you can pay my boss back the money you lost. 808 00:42:18,944 --> 00:42:20,244 And I don't cate who. 809 00:42:20,244 --> 00:42:22,644 Right. I actually think I found a sucket... 810 00:42:22,744 --> 00:42:25,144 -He's talking to Ershon. -...to invest $32 billion. 811 00:42:25,244 --> 00:42:26,844 Who's got $32 billion to rob? 812 00:42:26,944 --> 00:42:29,144 Once I get the money, I'll falsify the tecotds 813 00:42:29,244 --> 00:42:32,044 to show theit massive losses and then tepay yout employet. 814 00:42:32,144 --> 00:42:35,745 Now, since you'te following me, I need to go to 2300 Patk Avenue, 815 00:42:35,945 --> 00:42:37,445 and aftet that... 816 00:42:37,545 --> 00:42:39,345 I told you it wasn't a security team. 817 00:42:39,645 --> 00:42:42,845 -He was being abducted. -Obviously, but what kind... Holy... 818 00:42:42,945 --> 00:42:44,445 Nobody leaves our house without making love to my wife! 819 00:42:44,545 --> 00:42:45,645 -ls that him? -Yeah! 820 00:42:45,745 --> 00:42:47,545 Oh, my God, they came out of nowhere! 821 00:42:47,645 --> 00:42:49,445 -Holy shit! -They chased us 20 miles. 822 00:42:49,545 --> 00:42:51,745 -You come back here! You get back here! -Allen! 823 00:42:59,546 --> 00:43:03,146 2300 Park Avenue. It's the offices of the lottery. 824 00:43:04,246 --> 00:43:05,946 Holy shit, the lottery tickets we found. 825 00:43:06,346 --> 00:43:08,746 Ershon is using the lottery money to cover his losses. 826 00:43:08,846 --> 00:43:11,647 $32 billion. That's the state's money. 827 00:43:11,747 --> 00:43:13,947 Well, what do we tell Mauch? A guy lost some money. 828 00:43:14,047 --> 00:43:17,547 We have a scratchy cell phone message and an address. It's still half a case. 829 00:43:17,647 --> 00:43:21,647 There's gotta be some sort of paper trail. If we can find that, if we can track it, 830 00:43:21,647 --> 00:43:22,847 then we can go to Mauch. 831 00:43:23,647 --> 00:43:27,648 So, I did some more research on Ershon's accounting firm, 832 00:43:27,748 --> 00:43:29,448 and I found some pretty interesting stuff. 833 00:43:29,548 --> 00:43:32,648 It turns out that Gretchel and Dawson has... 834 00:43:34,148 --> 00:43:35,848 Hold on, I'm up. 835 00:43:37,148 --> 00:43:40,148 I gave my love to Etin 836 00:43:41,148 --> 00:43:44,849 She ptomised to be ttue 837 00:43:45,349 --> 00:43:49,349 I went to wat to come back 838 00:43:49,449 --> 00:43:53,449 And find five Btitish soldiets 839 00:43:53,549 --> 00:43:56,749 Had theit way with het 840 00:43:56,849 --> 00:44:01,249 It was consensual 841 00:44:01,950 --> 00:44:03,050 Done? 842 00:44:03,150 --> 00:44:06,050 Gretchel and Dawson Accounting Firm in Fair Lawn, New Jersey 843 00:44:06,150 --> 00:44:09,250 has only one client, David Ershon. 844 00:44:09,350 --> 00:44:11,850 Pretty rinky-dink operation for a guy like that. 845 00:44:11,950 --> 00:44:14,650 Looks like we're going to Jersey to visit an accounting firm. 846 00:44:14,750 --> 00:44:17,550 That's a shitty day. 847 00:44:18,750 --> 00:44:22,851 And all theit fathets wete hanged 848 00:44:22,951 --> 00:44:26,351 And the childten all got pink eye 849 00:44:28,451 --> 00:44:35,251 While theit Harry Potter books wete butned 850 00:44:40,952 --> 00:44:43,352 Do you have fun singing those songs? They're really depressing. 851 00:44:43,452 --> 00:44:45,852 I do. They're full of rich history. 852 00:44:47,052 --> 00:44:49,052 Damn it, I'm late. I was supposed to go meet my lady. 853 00:44:49,152 --> 00:44:51,552 I thought you said you guys split up. 854 00:44:51,652 --> 00:44:54,153 Let's just keep our thing about work, okay? 855 00:44:54,253 --> 00:44:55,753 All right. Goodbye, buddy. 856 00:44:55,953 --> 00:44:57,853 Hey, get off me, man. 857 00:45:16,454 --> 00:45:19,254 What the hell are you doing? 858 00:45:19,254 --> 00:45:21,854 I'm dancing, Terry. What the hell are you doing here? 859 00:45:21,954 --> 00:45:24,154 I love you, Francine. 860 00:45:24,254 --> 00:45:27,454 If you were with me, you wouldn't be here in this strip club, shaking it for dollar bills! 861 00:45:27,554 --> 00:45:32,655 This is a ballet studio, Terry. Okay? These poles are horizontal. 862 00:45:32,655 --> 00:45:34,755 He loves you very much, Francine. 863 00:45:34,855 --> 00:45:37,255 -Who is this guy? -What are you doing here, Allen? 864 00:45:37,355 --> 00:45:38,955 It's the code. I'm your partner. 865 00:45:39,155 --> 00:45:42,255 I'm here to support a friend and a work colleague. 866 00:45:42,355 --> 00:45:43,855 Francine, is this guy bothering you? 867 00:45:43,955 --> 00:45:46,756 Who's this, your new boyfriend? Great. You got a new boyfriend. 868 00:45:46,856 --> 00:45:50,256 He is my dance partner, Terry. Okay? 869 00:45:50,356 --> 00:45:52,156 I know that this is a big surprise, 870 00:45:52,256 --> 00:45:55,056 but there are other things in the world besides being a cop. Okay? 871 00:45:55,756 --> 00:45:58,656 Now, if you will excuse me, I'm gonna dance. 872 00:45:58,756 --> 00:46:00,556 What, you don't think I can do this shit? 873 00:46:17,057 --> 00:46:19,257 That was surprisingly good, Terry. 874 00:46:19,557 --> 00:46:22,258 -I love you, Francine. -You don't know what love is. 875 00:46:22,358 --> 00:46:24,258 He loves you very much, Francine! 876 00:46:24,358 --> 00:46:26,258 I heard it when he said it. Thank you. 877 00:46:26,358 --> 00:46:28,558 You know what you're doing to me? You're killing me inside. 878 00:46:28,658 --> 00:46:29,758 And don't eyeball me, man! 879 00:46:29,858 --> 00:46:31,858 You're running around with this crack-dealing drug addict? 880 00:46:31,958 --> 00:46:32,958 Terry! 881 00:46:33,058 --> 00:46:34,758 He does not approve of your behavior! 882 00:46:34,858 --> 00:46:36,858 Can you please go? 883 00:46:36,958 --> 00:46:39,259 And you, too, creepy guy standing in the door? 884 00:46:43,359 --> 00:46:44,559 Let's go, Allen. 885 00:46:45,059 --> 00:46:47,559 I think we all experienced our own ballet today. 886 00:46:47,959 --> 00:46:49,759 The ballet of emotion and feelings. 887 00:46:50,159 --> 00:46:51,759 You're kind of making things worse. 888 00:47:01,360 --> 00:47:04,260 -You okay? -Yeah, I'm fine. 889 00:47:05,660 --> 00:47:08,160 Hey, I didn't know you could dance. 890 00:47:09,060 --> 00:47:11,560 We used to do those dance moves to make fun of guys when we were kids, 891 00:47:11,660 --> 00:47:12,961 show them how queer they were, okay? 892 00:47:14,961 --> 00:47:17,961 -You learned to dance like that sarcastically? -Yeah, I guess. 893 00:47:17,961 --> 00:47:21,561 Stay out of my personal life, okay? The kid flies private. 894 00:47:21,661 --> 00:47:24,761 Stay focused on the case, man. I'll see you in Jersey tomorrow. 895 00:47:25,261 --> 00:47:26,761 All right, Terry. 896 00:47:27,361 --> 00:47:30,962 Hey, that was liberating for me. I don't know how it felt for you. 897 00:47:53,463 --> 00:47:56,863 Here, check this out. Article from six months ago. 898 00:47:56,963 --> 00:47:58,463 Talking about how the lottery is looking 899 00:47:58,563 --> 00:48:00,963 to invest their $30-billion fund more aggressively. 900 00:48:01,663 --> 00:48:02,863 So he's dealing drugs? 901 00:48:03,163 --> 00:48:06,964 No, it's not drugs. This isn't Miami Vice. 902 00:48:10,164 --> 00:48:11,964 Look, I'm sorry. I just... 903 00:48:12,664 --> 00:48:17,364 I am in a bit of a state today. Sheila and I got into it last night. 904 00:48:17,864 --> 00:48:19,264 What happened? 905 00:48:21,165 --> 00:48:23,965 She was interested in taking this class at The Learning Annex, right? 906 00:48:24,565 --> 00:48:26,565 Called "The Art of Oral Sex"? 907 00:48:26,765 --> 00:48:29,465 You know, we just don't have it in the budget right now. 908 00:48:30,065 --> 00:48:32,065 It's always about her. 909 00:48:32,465 --> 00:48:34,465 Yeah, that's... That's messed up. 910 00:48:36,165 --> 00:48:37,365 Hey, I got you a gift. 911 00:48:38,165 --> 00:48:41,966 I just saw something, and I thought of you, and so, I don't want it to be weird. 912 00:48:41,966 --> 00:48:43,166 I just wanted to be nice. 913 00:48:43,266 --> 00:48:44,566 Of course it's weird. 914 00:48:44,666 --> 00:48:46,466 It's a grown man giving another man a present. 915 00:48:48,166 --> 00:48:50,466 There you go. Open it up. 916 00:48:51,066 --> 00:48:52,966 It's okay, you're welcome. 917 00:48:53,566 --> 00:48:55,466 I like to do things like that. 918 00:48:55,667 --> 00:48:57,667 Take a look what it says. 919 00:49:06,567 --> 00:49:08,967 You know, because we're both in law enforcement. 920 00:49:09,067 --> 00:49:10,667 We both like women. 921 00:49:10,767 --> 00:49:13,768 But I got a weird sense of humor. I'm a sick puppy. 922 00:49:14,068 --> 00:49:16,268 I can't look at it. It makes me laugh so hard. 923 00:49:16,368 --> 00:49:17,668 Me, too. 924 00:49:21,068 --> 00:49:24,268 Real nice. You know, it's all class. 925 00:49:26,468 --> 00:49:27,868 -Okay. -Don't do that shit any more. 926 00:49:27,968 --> 00:49:29,368 Yeah, believe me, I won't. 927 00:49:29,968 --> 00:49:32,269 Do you understand what's so funny about it, though? 928 00:49:33,869 --> 00:49:37,469 'Cause it's the FBl, right? It has the same logo, the same shield. 929 00:49:37,469 --> 00:49:40,369 And at first glance, you're like, it's just a mug that says "FBl." 930 00:49:40,869 --> 00:49:45,569 But then at second glance, you're like, "Female Body lnspector"? 931 00:49:45,669 --> 00:49:47,770 Get out of town. This is outrageous... 932 00:49:47,870 --> 00:49:49,170 Shut up! 933 00:50:01,670 --> 00:50:03,970 I'm gonna climb over that anger wall of yours 934 00:50:03,970 --> 00:50:05,071 one of these days, 935 00:50:05,171 --> 00:50:07,371 and it's gonna be glorious. 936 00:50:10,871 --> 00:50:13,571 Shouldn't we tell Mauch that we're going to check this place out? 937 00:50:13,671 --> 00:50:14,871 For what? We're just going to check it out. 938 00:50:14,871 --> 00:50:16,771 I know, but it's procedure. 939 00:50:17,871 --> 00:50:19,971 Terry answers to no one. 940 00:50:20,671 --> 00:50:22,772 I do what I do. 941 00:50:23,872 --> 00:50:26,372 What accounting firm is closed at 11:00 a.m. on a Tuesday? 942 00:50:26,372 --> 00:50:27,672 This is a shithole. 943 00:50:35,372 --> 00:50:36,372 I love bombs. 944 00:50:36,472 --> 00:50:39,673 I can't hear! I can't hear! 945 00:50:41,173 --> 00:50:43,173 There's blood blisters on my hands! 946 00:50:43,173 --> 00:50:44,273 Oh, my God! 947 00:50:44,373 --> 00:50:46,673 How do they walk away in movies without flinching 948 00:50:46,773 --> 00:50:48,473 when it explodes behind them? 949 00:50:48,573 --> 00:50:51,773 There's no way! I call bullshit on that! 950 00:50:52,173 --> 00:50:55,473 When they flew the Millennium Falcon outside of the Death Star, 951 00:50:55,573 --> 00:50:59,574 and it was followed by the explosion, that was bullshit! 952 00:50:59,674 --> 00:51:02,974 Don't you dare badmouth Stat Wats! That was all accurate! 953 00:51:03,074 --> 00:51:04,974 I need an MRl. 954 00:51:05,074 --> 00:51:09,374 I need an MRl! I've got soft tissue damage. 955 00:51:09,874 --> 00:51:11,874 There's no way I don't have soft tissue damage. 956 00:51:11,974 --> 00:51:13,074 Please stop. 957 00:51:13,074 --> 00:51:14,875 I just wanna go somewhere and breastfeed right now! 958 00:51:18,975 --> 00:51:23,375 Fire Department said it was a gas leak, but no way. That was timed. 959 00:51:23,475 --> 00:51:25,275 They didn't wanna kill us, but they wanted to scare us. 960 00:51:25,375 --> 00:51:27,875 Yeah, well, they succeeded, okay? 961 00:51:27,875 --> 00:51:30,575 I'm tired of this. All right? 962 00:51:30,575 --> 00:51:33,176 I'm tired of explosions and people pointing guns at me. 963 00:51:33,276 --> 00:51:35,376 I wanna go back to my desk. 964 00:51:35,476 --> 00:51:38,976 Guess what? Life gets loud sometimes and messes with your ears. 965 00:51:39,076 --> 00:51:41,576 You can't escape it by hiding at your desk for your whole life. 966 00:51:41,576 --> 00:51:44,376 You know what? Yes, you can. I've done it for years, okay? 967 00:51:44,476 --> 00:51:47,376 There's no explosions at my desk. 968 00:51:47,476 --> 00:51:52,377 There's no explosions at my home with my plain wife, in my plain house. 969 00:51:54,677 --> 00:51:56,477 What are you afraid of, man? 970 00:51:57,577 --> 00:52:02,077 I'm your partner. You can tell me. What the hell are you hiding from? 971 00:52:02,777 --> 00:52:05,177 I was a sophomore in college. 972 00:52:06,578 --> 00:52:10,678 The university I went to decided they needed to raise tuition. 973 00:52:11,778 --> 00:52:17,678 A classmate of mine, Brenda, in an effort to raise money and stay in school, 974 00:52:17,678 --> 00:52:19,678 came up with a nifty plan 975 00:52:19,778 --> 00:52:22,178 where she thought she'd date guys and charge them money. 976 00:52:22,378 --> 00:52:23,979 I go on dates all the time, 977 00:52:24,079 --> 00:52:26,179 with a whole bunch of, you know, boys and stuff. 978 00:52:26,279 --> 00:52:29,579 And I kind of need somebody to help me out, like, you know, my partner in crime. 979 00:52:30,179 --> 00:52:32,479 Yeah, I could make a schedule. 980 00:52:32,479 --> 00:52:34,079 Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's what I was thinking. 981 00:52:34,179 --> 00:52:36,679 -Provide transportation services. -Yeah, yeah. 982 00:52:36,779 --> 00:52:38,979 -It's gonna be a good time. -Thanks so much for asking me. 983 00:52:39,079 --> 00:52:41,480 She said she needed my help to make sute that the dates went okay 984 00:52:41,580 --> 00:52:44,980 and that the guys paid her. She said she'd give me a percentage. 985 00:52:45,180 --> 00:52:48,380 -Oh, my God. You were a pimp. -What? God, no. 986 00:52:48,480 --> 00:52:50,580 No, I was just trying to help a friend. 987 00:52:50,680 --> 00:52:53,280 We statted making a lot of money. 988 00:52:54,280 --> 00:52:57,180 And wouldn't you know it, some of Btenda's gitlftiends 989 00:52:57,180 --> 00:52:59,881 decided they wanted to be a patt of it. 990 00:52:59,981 --> 00:53:02,681 Ptetty soon, thete wete about 14 ladies that I was ptotecting 991 00:53:02,781 --> 00:53:04,381 while they gave me money. 992 00:53:04,481 --> 00:53:05,981 That's called a stable of whotes. 993 00:53:06,881 --> 00:53:11,881 We decided I shouldn't use my real name. So we came up with the name "Gator." 994 00:53:12,081 --> 00:53:13,581 I'm telling you, you were a pimp. 995 00:53:13,681 --> 00:53:16,282 No! Are you even listening to the story? 996 00:53:19,082 --> 00:53:21,182 Anyway, one day, I wake up and I look in the mirror, 997 00:53:21,282 --> 00:53:23,482 and I don't like what I see. 998 00:53:24,782 --> 00:53:28,282 I mean, I had gotten out of conttol, and I didn't even tealize it. 999 00:53:29,082 --> 00:53:31,382 You can't have a conscience in the pimp game. 1000 00:53:32,182 --> 00:53:33,883 One night, two of my favorite girls, 1001 00:53:33,983 --> 00:53:36,183 Candy and Jolene, said, "We gotta take you in," 1002 00:53:36,283 --> 00:53:38,583 and they dropped me off at the emergency room. 1003 00:53:38,683 --> 00:53:40,583 That's where I met Sheila. I was a mess. 1004 00:53:40,683 --> 00:53:45,883 I made a promise to myself and to her that I would never get out of control again. 1005 00:53:46,783 --> 00:53:48,083 So, as soon as I graduated from college, 1006 00:53:48,183 --> 00:53:51,084 I became an accountant for the police department. 1007 00:53:51,784 --> 00:53:54,484 The most stable job I could think of. 1008 00:53:56,084 --> 00:53:58,484 An accountant for law and order. 1009 00:54:00,784 --> 00:54:04,784 I just don't wanna ever feel out of control like that ever again. 1010 00:54:04,884 --> 00:54:07,585 Don't worry. I got your back. 1011 00:54:07,685 --> 00:54:10,085 Now I say we go get in Ershon's grill and see if he cracks. 1012 00:54:10,185 --> 00:54:13,985 -I'm tired of all this tippy-toeing around. -Okay. 1013 00:54:14,285 --> 00:54:17,085 You can eithet walk the plank ot take yout panties off. 1014 00:54:17,085 --> 00:54:18,785 The choice is youts. 1015 00:54:18,885 --> 00:54:23,085 -I want to take my panties off. -You've made a wise choice, you have. 1016 00:54:23,185 --> 00:54:27,986 Mr. Ershon, Detective Gamble and the officer who shot Derek Jeter are here. 1017 00:54:28,486 --> 00:54:29,786 Gentlemen, please. 1018 00:54:29,886 --> 00:54:33,186 -Remember us, hotshot? -Of course I do. Please, sit. 1019 00:54:33,286 --> 00:54:34,886 Thete she blows. 1020 00:54:37,286 --> 00:54:40,586 Two of those Russian waters, please. No lime wedges, just cucumber. 1021 00:54:40,686 --> 00:54:43,787 Guess where we just came from? An explosion at your accounting office. 1022 00:54:44,087 --> 00:54:46,387 Yes, that awful gas leak. 1023 00:54:46,487 --> 00:54:50,387 Gas leak? The only gas leak is the one coming out of your mouth right now. 1024 00:54:50,487 --> 00:54:55,487 I just thank God no one was hurt or injured in a bad way. 1025 00:54:55,587 --> 00:54:58,287 I absolutely abhor death. 1026 00:54:58,587 --> 00:55:01,988 Hey, Andrew Lloyd Webber. The jig is up, okay? 1027 00:55:02,188 --> 00:55:03,988 We know that wasn't your security team that grabbed you. 1028 00:55:04,088 --> 00:55:06,388 And we know you're targeting a big fish to cover losses. 1029 00:55:06,488 --> 00:55:08,788 You talk or I beat you so it don't show no bruises. 1030 00:55:09,188 --> 00:55:11,988 God, this water is good. Terry, have you tried the water? 1031 00:55:11,988 --> 00:55:13,488 Shut up, Allen. 1032 00:55:13,588 --> 00:55:16,889 I assure you, I have no idea what you're talking about. 1033 00:55:16,989 --> 00:55:20,889 I understand there was a bit of a mix-up with the whole scaffolding business. 1034 00:55:20,989 --> 00:55:26,389 The cucumber accents the water in such a way that... 1035 00:55:27,589 --> 00:55:32,289 Perhaps by way of apology, I can offer you my personal courtside seats 1036 00:55:32,389 --> 00:55:36,590 for the Knicks game, with access to the Ambassador Club. 1037 00:55:38,890 --> 00:55:44,090 Come on, Knicks! Come on! I got Knicks' fever and it's catching! 1038 00:55:45,390 --> 00:55:49,390 Hey. This feels weird sitting here. It feels like it's a bribe. 1039 00:55:49,490 --> 00:55:54,091 It is a bribe. Son-of-a-bitch, I saw courtside and I went blind. 1040 00:55:54,191 --> 00:55:55,391 Come on. 1041 00:55:56,291 --> 00:55:57,591 Call me! 1042 00:55:59,091 --> 00:56:00,891 -Excuse me. -That was a trick. 1043 00:56:00,991 --> 00:56:02,391 No more. 1044 00:56:02,391 --> 00:56:07,791 Gentlemen, you have a choice. Mamma Mia or Jetsey Boys. 1045 00:56:11,092 --> 00:56:14,192 Fantastic! You're so unbelievable! 1046 00:56:18,692 --> 00:56:20,592 Damn it. He did it again. 1047 00:56:21,592 --> 00:56:23,892 -Excuse me. -No more tickets. 1048 00:56:23,892 --> 00:56:25,893 Mr. Ershon, I tried to keep them in the waiting room. 1049 00:56:25,893 --> 00:56:29,193 That's okay, Susan. Two Glacier waters with Mediterranean limes. 1050 00:56:29,293 --> 00:56:31,093 No, no, no. No more water. We're not here for that. 1051 00:56:31,193 --> 00:56:33,293 No, I was very much looking forward to having a water. 1052 00:56:33,393 --> 00:56:37,793 -How great is Jetsey Boys? -It's not great. It's fantastic! 1053 00:56:37,893 --> 00:56:41,293 You totally undersold it. The pageantry, the costumes. 1054 00:56:41,293 --> 00:56:42,994 Wow, what a musical. 1055 00:56:43,094 --> 00:56:44,894 Hey. Get over here. 1056 00:56:46,094 --> 00:56:47,194 -What's wrong with you? -What? 1057 00:56:47,294 --> 00:56:48,794 That's not what we're here for. 1058 00:56:49,694 --> 00:56:51,794 We're gonna do good cop, bad cop. Okay? 1059 00:56:52,094 --> 00:56:55,094 It's the oldest game in the book for a reason, it works. 1060 00:56:55,194 --> 00:56:56,594 I come strong, then you come in. 1061 00:56:56,594 --> 00:56:57,694 -You got it? -Yeah. 1062 00:56:57,794 --> 00:57:00,495 -I come strong, then you come in. -Right. Got it. 1063 00:57:00,595 --> 00:57:02,495 Now you listen to me, you piece of shit. 1064 00:57:02,695 --> 00:57:05,295 It's just you and me, and I'm gonna rip you apart! 1065 00:57:05,395 --> 00:57:09,595 How did you cover your losses up? What drug cartel are you working with now? 1066 00:57:09,695 --> 00:57:13,595 -Okay, I'll talk to you, you're reasonable! -No, no, look at me! 1067 00:57:13,695 --> 00:57:16,195 You wanna talk to me? You wanna talk to me? 1068 00:57:16,295 --> 00:57:19,796 Allen, what are you doing? What are you doing? Allen! 1069 00:57:20,596 --> 00:57:22,796 I'm gonna make you eat a plate of human shit! 1070 00:57:23,496 --> 00:57:25,296 Get away from me! 1071 00:57:29,996 --> 00:57:31,496 Where is he? 1072 00:57:33,496 --> 00:57:36,097 Look, I'm really sorry about that. 1073 00:57:36,897 --> 00:57:39,497 I saw how aggressive you were being, and I thought, 1074 00:57:39,597 --> 00:57:43,197 "Wow, I gotta go even bigger than that, since we're doing bad cop, bad cop." 1075 00:57:43,297 --> 00:57:48,397 What? No, I said, "Good cop, bad cop." I'm the bad cop, you're the good cop. 1076 00:57:48,497 --> 00:57:52,898 Okay, then there it is. That's it. I thought you said, "Bad cop, bad cop." 1077 00:57:53,198 --> 00:57:56,598 Well, while you were going crazy, look what I snagged from his desk. 1078 00:57:56,698 --> 00:57:58,798 -Think it's his phone sheet. -Nice. 1079 00:57:59,098 --> 00:58:00,798 Seven calls to the lottery office. 1080 00:58:01,198 --> 00:58:02,698 That could be the evidence we need for Mauch. 1081 00:58:05,498 --> 00:58:08,298 -Get back. Colombian drug lords. -Where are you getting that from? 1082 00:58:10,099 --> 00:58:11,299 Jesus! 1083 00:58:20,199 --> 00:58:22,599 Can you imagine where you'd be in your career if you hadn't shot Jeter? 1084 00:58:30,400 --> 00:58:33,700 -We call this in, right? -Looks like we got all the evidence we need. 1085 00:58:33,800 --> 00:58:35,900 I'm sorry, my butterfly. 1086 00:58:37,300 --> 00:58:40,200 We'll load them up, send them back to go. 1087 00:58:49,001 --> 00:58:52,301 -Holy shit. -What? 1088 00:58:52,401 --> 00:58:55,101 What do you mean, what? Where are we? 1089 00:58:56,401 --> 00:58:57,901 We're in the high desert. 1090 00:58:57,901 --> 00:59:01,702 They took my shoes again, man! What the hell is it with taking shoes? 1091 00:59:01,802 --> 00:59:03,302 -They took your wooden gun? -Yeah. 1092 00:59:09,902 --> 00:59:12,102 -Hello? -Hello, Gene? I mean, Captain. 1093 00:59:12,202 --> 00:59:13,602 Captain, it's Allen Gamble. 1094 00:59:13,702 --> 00:59:15,502 Yeah, yeah. Where are you? What's going on? 1095 00:59:15,602 --> 00:59:17,902 Captain, it's a long stoty, but I'm just gonna cut to the chase. 1096 00:59:18,002 --> 00:59:20,003 We are in Las Vegas, all right? 1097 00:59:20,103 --> 00:59:23,403 We were kidnapped, put on a freight train, and shipped out here. 1098 00:59:23,503 --> 00:59:25,903 Let me just stop you right there. Don't bullshit me. 1099 00:59:26,003 --> 00:59:27,403 Captain, I am being straight with you. 1100 00:59:27,503 --> 00:59:29,803 Look, we think something's going on, okay? 1101 00:59:29,903 --> 00:59:32,803 We think Ershon is targeting the lottery to cover his losses. 1102 00:59:32,803 --> 00:59:38,304 Wait. How many times did I explicitly say to you, "Lay off Ershon"? 1103 00:59:38,804 --> 00:59:40,104 Terry, Captain wants to know 1104 00:59:40,104 --> 00:59:42,104 how many times has he asked us to lay off of Ershon. 1105 00:59:42,104 --> 00:59:43,204 Twice. 1106 00:59:44,104 --> 00:59:45,804 Twice. Terry says twice. I agree. 1107 00:59:45,904 --> 00:59:48,004 I'm hanging up. I'm done. 1108 00:59:52,304 --> 00:59:56,805 I gotta tell you, I started getting a hand for that, a taste for that Pai Gow. 1109 00:59:57,505 --> 01:00:02,105 Martin and Fosse, super cops, in three, two... 1110 01:00:02,205 --> 01:00:08,105 So, we busted that junkie. Got back 74 thou in diamonds. 74 thou. 1111 01:00:09,205 --> 01:00:10,606 Solved the Castien case. 1112 01:00:10,706 --> 01:00:13,506 $74,000? That's all they took? 1113 01:00:13,606 --> 01:00:15,806 There's millions of dollars of diamonds in that place. 1114 01:00:15,906 --> 01:00:18,106 How about this, Gamble? How about you shut your face? 1115 01:00:18,206 --> 01:00:19,806 All right? Just shut it. 1116 01:00:19,806 --> 01:00:21,506 Hoitz, Gamble, Captain's looking for you. 1117 01:00:24,406 --> 01:00:26,706 I know it's off the subject, but is Kevlar copyrighted? 1118 01:00:26,806 --> 01:00:28,007 -Captain? -Yeah. 1119 01:00:28,207 --> 01:00:30,607 -ls it a bad time? -No, come on. Come on. 1120 01:00:31,007 --> 01:00:32,907 -Not me, right? -Yeah, and you. 1121 01:00:33,007 --> 01:00:36,707 Fellows, I'm sure you're familiar with the venerable DA Radford. 1122 01:00:36,707 --> 01:00:38,407 He wanted to come down and pay us a visit. 1123 01:00:38,507 --> 01:00:39,707 Hello, gentlemen. 1124 01:00:39,807 --> 01:00:41,007 -Hello, sir. -Hey. 1125 01:00:41,007 --> 01:00:44,407 -You know, I was talking to Gene here. -He prefers "Captain." 1126 01:00:44,507 --> 01:00:48,008 Yes, I was talking to Gene here, and, you know, it's funny. 1127 01:00:48,308 --> 01:00:50,508 I don't know what you two have been up to, 1128 01:00:50,608 --> 01:00:54,008 but I've been getting calls from people I don't ever get calls from. 1129 01:00:54,108 --> 01:00:57,008 In 40 years of enforcing the law, I've learned one thing. 1130 01:00:57,608 --> 01:00:59,308 When that happens, stop. 1131 01:01:00,908 --> 01:01:04,009 -Gene, how's the family? -Good, good, Louis, thanks for asking. 1132 01:01:04,109 --> 01:01:06,109 -My son's bisexual, so... -Tremendous. 1133 01:01:08,909 --> 01:01:10,409 Gentlemen, do we understand each other? 1134 01:01:11,709 --> 01:01:13,909 -Cut the crap! -Will do. 1135 01:01:18,309 --> 01:01:19,710 Guy never comes down here. 1136 01:01:19,810 --> 01:01:22,610 Twenty years, I think I've seen that guy in this building one time. 1137 01:01:22,710 --> 01:01:25,910 -He's a heavyweight cat, that guy. -He was sitting right here. 1138 01:01:26,310 --> 01:01:29,710 Yeah. I think you missed the point. Anyway, look. 1139 01:01:29,810 --> 01:01:33,210 Blue and white found your firearms down by the Hudson River. Here you go, Terry. 1140 01:01:34,910 --> 01:01:36,410 You know what? 1141 01:01:37,111 --> 01:01:39,011 I'm gonna hang on to the wooden gun. 1142 01:01:39,111 --> 01:01:41,011 -To give me back my real gun? -No. 1143 01:01:41,111 --> 01:01:43,111 'Cause I'm gonna give you this. 1144 01:01:43,911 --> 01:01:47,011 It's a rape whistle. You blow that if you run into any trouble 1145 01:01:47,611 --> 01:01:50,211 and someone with an actual gun will come and help you out. 1146 01:01:51,611 --> 01:01:56,212 We were abducted, Captain! This shit is real! Ershon's dirty. He's targeting the lottery! 1147 01:01:56,312 --> 01:02:01,212 Next, I want you guys to hand in all the evidence you think you have to the SEC. 1148 01:02:01,312 --> 01:02:03,112 The financial district's under their jurisdiction. 1149 01:02:03,212 --> 01:02:05,712 Don't you get it? This case is talking to us! 1150 01:02:05,812 --> 01:02:08,912 I'm a peacock, Captain! You gotta let me fly on this one! 1151 01:02:09,012 --> 01:02:11,913 You know what, Terry? Let's just settle this. Peacocks don't fly. 1152 01:02:11,913 --> 01:02:15,413 -They fly, they fly a little bit. -Yeah, about as much as a penguin. 1153 01:02:15,513 --> 01:02:19,113 One more thing, do me a favor, don't go chasing waterfalls. 1154 01:02:19,813 --> 01:02:22,413 Was that accidental, or were you trying to quote TLC on purpose? 1155 01:02:23,213 --> 01:02:24,313 I don't even understand the reference. 1156 01:02:24,813 --> 01:02:26,913 -You don't understand what you said? -I don't know what that is. 1157 01:02:27,013 --> 01:02:28,513 Get out. Go. 1158 01:02:39,214 --> 01:02:41,414 How did they get that story? 1159 01:02:43,014 --> 01:02:46,015 I'm tired of being treated like a jerk for trying to do the right thing. 1160 01:02:46,115 --> 01:02:47,115 Hey, guys. 1161 01:02:47,515 --> 01:02:51,415 There's a proxy vote for a big reinvestment of the pension coming up, 1162 01:02:51,515 --> 01:02:54,315 -so if you just wanna come by the old... -Damn it, Bob! 1163 01:02:54,415 --> 01:02:55,515 Let me ask you something. 1164 01:02:55,615 --> 01:02:58,015 What do you even do around here besides interrupt people? 1165 01:02:58,715 --> 01:03:01,115 Well, I serve as treasurer to the union. 1166 01:03:01,215 --> 01:03:04,016 I make a wicked pot of decaf. 1167 01:03:04,116 --> 01:03:07,316 Exactly! You're a worthless piece of shit! 1168 01:03:09,316 --> 01:03:12,816 Probably right, Terry. That's why I feel so sad all the time. 1169 01:03:13,716 --> 01:03:15,516 I'm gonna go for a walk. 1170 01:03:15,616 --> 01:03:16,916 -Bob! -Say something. 1171 01:03:17,016 --> 01:03:18,816 Come on! Bob! 1172 01:03:19,016 --> 01:03:21,917 I didn't mean it, all right? I'm upset. 1173 01:03:39,718 --> 01:03:44,818 Actually, we don't do that here. This is an installation art piece. 1174 01:03:45,118 --> 01:03:47,218 -This coffee table? -Yes. We don't put drinks on it. 1175 01:03:51,018 --> 01:03:53,718 -Five hundred thousand? -He can read! Congratulations. 1176 01:03:54,218 --> 01:03:56,319 -What? -I'm sorry, are you in the right place? 1177 01:03:56,419 --> 01:03:58,719 Or not? I'm... 1178 01:03:59,919 --> 01:04:01,119 -Terry. -Does he... Okay. 1179 01:04:01,219 --> 01:04:04,419 -Well... -Sorry. Terry! What are you doing here? 1180 01:04:05,719 --> 01:04:10,019 -I want to be with you. -No, Terry, that's not gonna happen. 1181 01:04:10,419 --> 01:04:13,020 You know where you belong. On top of me in the Poconos. 1182 01:04:13,920 --> 01:04:15,920 Instead, you're here selling dirty coffee tables? 1183 01:04:16,120 --> 01:04:17,620 I mean, look at this. This is nonsense! 1184 01:04:17,720 --> 01:04:20,120 Terry, this is an original Haverfield-Jameson. 1185 01:04:20,520 --> 01:04:24,720 The chaos of the coffee table? It represents our fractured egos. 1186 01:04:25,220 --> 01:04:27,220 You think I don't know about this artsy-fartsy crap? 1187 01:04:27,620 --> 01:04:32,021 This coffee table isn't the ego. It represents our shattered sense of community 1188 01:04:32,421 --> 01:04:34,121 in the face of capitalist-driven isolation. 1189 01:04:34,421 --> 01:04:37,021 Looks like the work of Cindy Sherman or Frank Stella. 1190 01:04:37,721 --> 01:04:39,021 How did you know that, Terry? 1191 01:04:39,421 --> 01:04:40,821 I took some classes at RlSD 1192 01:04:40,921 --> 01:04:43,221 so I could make fun of these lame artsy douches in my neighborhood. 1193 01:04:43,321 --> 01:04:45,721 -Terry, lower your voice! -I don't have to lower my voice. 1194 01:04:45,821 --> 01:04:48,622 -ls this man bothering you? -Are you actually having sex with this creep? 1195 01:04:48,922 --> 01:04:50,722 Terry, he's gay. Okay? 1196 01:04:52,022 --> 01:04:54,722 He's even wearing a T-shirt that says, "I'm gay"! 1197 01:04:54,922 --> 01:04:56,822 All right? And also, he is my boss. 1198 01:04:57,222 --> 01:04:58,322 Happy for you, man. Good. 1199 01:04:58,422 --> 01:05:00,322 Can you get out of here now? I'm talking to my lady. 1200 01:05:00,522 --> 01:05:03,822 Mr. Reger, everything is fine. Terry is actually leaving now. 1201 01:05:04,222 --> 01:05:06,323 Nice toot, sailor. Jesus. 1202 01:05:07,523 --> 01:05:09,523 Terry, what are you doing? 1203 01:05:10,023 --> 01:05:13,423 Look, I waited three years for you to be more than a cop, okay? 1204 01:05:13,723 --> 01:05:14,923 Just give me one more year. 1205 01:05:15,423 --> 01:05:17,823 Terry, you don't get another year. I'm done. 1206 01:05:18,323 --> 01:05:19,323 Fine. 1207 01:05:19,823 --> 01:05:23,024 -Terry, don't touch that! Terry! -Oh, my God! 1208 01:05:23,324 --> 01:05:25,324 I don't need this shit. I don't need you! 1209 01:05:26,324 --> 01:05:28,424 And when you call me, I'm not coming back! 1210 01:05:29,724 --> 01:05:32,724 -Oh, boy! Over the top! -How outt�! 1211 01:05:33,124 --> 01:05:35,224 I'll burn this bitch down to the ground! 1212 01:05:36,524 --> 01:05:38,824 -Fresh! Energetic! -I love his rawness! 1213 01:05:39,225 --> 01:05:42,825 Stop critiquing me, okay? I'm a human being! I'm not a piece of art! 1214 01:05:43,125 --> 01:05:44,925 -Yes, you are. -Bravo! 1215 01:05:45,225 --> 01:05:47,925 I'm a peacock flying into a rainbow! 1216 01:05:48,625 --> 01:05:50,725 Yes! Yes! 1217 01:06:00,326 --> 01:06:02,926 These braised short ribs taste like a dog's asshole. 1218 01:06:03,026 --> 01:06:04,726 -Sweetie. -You know what, I'm sitting here thinking, 1219 01:06:04,826 --> 01:06:08,026 "Who in the world would slow roast a dog's asshole 1220 01:06:08,126 --> 01:06:10,026 "and serve it to their husband?" 1221 01:06:10,126 --> 01:06:13,526 -You would. -You are being awful. What's wrong? 1222 01:06:13,627 --> 01:06:18,327 -Captain took us off the case. -I'm sorry. 1223 01:06:19,227 --> 01:06:24,127 I told Terry about my dark days in college, and it brought up some feelings. 1224 01:06:24,527 --> 01:06:29,727 Well, honeydick, that was a long time ago. You're not that same person you were. 1225 01:06:29,827 --> 01:06:33,228 No, you don't get it. There is a darkness inside of me. 1226 01:06:33,328 --> 01:06:36,328 It wants to get out. It wants to walk around. 1227 01:06:36,428 --> 01:06:39,528 It wants some walking around money, and it wants to buy some shoes. 1228 01:06:39,728 --> 01:06:44,228 And it wants to walk up with the people and say, "Hey, Gator don't play no shit." 1229 01:06:44,528 --> 01:06:45,928 -You feel me? -Yeah. 1230 01:06:46,028 --> 01:06:50,129 Gator never been about that, never been about playing no shit. 1231 01:06:53,129 --> 01:06:55,129 -Sweetie, I'm sorry. -It's okay. 1232 01:06:55,729 --> 01:06:59,129 -I just... -Remember that night we met? 1233 01:06:59,929 --> 01:07:04,529 The attending physician told me, "We got a drugged-out pimp in the back." 1234 01:07:05,329 --> 01:07:08,730 And I went back there, and I pulled open that curtain, 1235 01:07:08,830 --> 01:07:10,330 and I saw you. 1236 01:07:11,130 --> 01:07:13,430 You were weak, scared, 1237 01:07:14,030 --> 01:07:18,130 ass up, inflamed, crying. 1238 01:07:18,230 --> 01:07:23,331 At that moment, I knew. "Hey, he's no pimp. Pimps don't cry." 1239 01:07:24,331 --> 01:07:28,831 Pimps don't cty 1240 01:07:30,131 --> 01:07:32,631 Pimps don't cty 1241 01:07:32,731 --> 01:07:35,631 No, they don't 1242 01:07:36,031 --> 01:07:38,931 They don't shed a teat 1243 01:07:39,631 --> 01:07:45,032 Pimps don't cty 1244 01:07:45,232 --> 01:07:47,132 They nevet shed a teat 1245 01:07:52,132 --> 01:07:55,532 Come lay with me. Be safe, and let's make love. Come on. 1246 01:07:55,632 --> 01:07:58,033 Every time you say, "Be safe," it tears me apart. 1247 01:07:58,133 --> 01:08:00,733 You gotta let me be who I'm gonna be. 1248 01:08:02,333 --> 01:08:04,833 Allen, I'm pregnant. 1249 01:08:05,633 --> 01:08:07,033 Whose baby is that? 1250 01:08:07,133 --> 01:08:10,633 Who's the man who did that to you? Gator's bitches better be using jimmies! 1251 01:08:12,433 --> 01:08:15,534 I'm sorry. See, that's what I'm talking about. 1252 01:08:15,634 --> 01:08:17,234 Oh, my God. 1253 01:08:19,134 --> 01:08:20,534 You need to leave. 1254 01:08:20,634 --> 01:08:24,234 Get out! Get out, Allen! Get out! 1255 01:08:41,035 --> 01:08:41,935 Hey. 1256 01:08:43,135 --> 01:08:45,735 Hey. What are you doing here? 1257 01:08:48,135 --> 01:08:53,236 Come here when I have lady troubles, which means I come here about every night. 1258 01:08:53,336 --> 01:08:55,336 What are you doing here? 1259 01:08:56,536 --> 01:08:59,036 Sheila and I got into it tonight. 1260 01:08:59,936 --> 01:09:02,236 She threw me out. 1261 01:09:03,236 --> 01:09:06,336 Well, you're not a cop till your wife throws you out of the house, partner. 1262 01:09:06,436 --> 01:09:10,237 Does it bother you that the Castien robbers only took 74 grand in diamonds? 1263 01:09:10,537 --> 01:09:13,037 They're junkies. Who cares? I mean... 1264 01:09:13,137 --> 01:09:16,937 I don't know if a junkie can go down a 20-story zipline, though. 1265 01:09:17,037 --> 01:09:17,937 How you fellas doing? 1266 01:09:19,537 --> 01:09:22,737 We're about to have us a little screw party in this red Prius over here 1267 01:09:22,837 --> 01:09:24,038 if you wanna join us. 1268 01:09:24,138 --> 01:09:26,238 You're not going anywhere near that Prius, okay? 1269 01:09:26,538 --> 01:09:29,438 Here's what we're talking about. We're talking about a bunch of hobos 1270 01:09:29,838 --> 01:09:31,838 with fingers in each other's pooper 1271 01:09:31,838 --> 01:09:34,638 in a stranger's car with talk radio playing really loud. 1272 01:09:34,738 --> 01:09:35,838 It's gonna be a nice evening. 1273 01:09:36,238 --> 01:09:38,538 Well, we're not participating in that. We have no interest. 1274 01:09:38,738 --> 01:09:39,838 Let me rephrase it. 1275 01:09:40,238 --> 01:09:43,139 We got a jar of old mustard, and we got a poodle, 1276 01:09:43,339 --> 01:09:46,439 and we're just get in there and we're gonna put some D's in some A's. 1277 01:09:46,839 --> 01:09:48,639 Hey, are you Dirty Mike and the boys? 1278 01:09:48,739 --> 01:09:51,239 -How do you know who we are? -You left a note in that car. 1279 01:09:51,339 --> 01:09:53,939 -Police, shithead. -He's a copper. We gotta go. Come on! 1280 01:09:54,039 --> 01:09:55,839 Hey! Goose it, boys! They're cops! 1281 01:09:56,339 --> 01:09:58,039 Rub your dicks on the car as you're running away! 1282 01:09:58,139 --> 01:10:00,440 You turned my beautiful Prius into a nightmare! 1283 01:10:00,540 --> 01:10:04,240 We are gonna have sex in your car! It will happen again! 1284 01:10:06,440 --> 01:10:08,040 I don't know where I'm gonna sleep tonight. 1285 01:10:08,140 --> 01:10:09,940 Fortunately, I know where you're gonna be drinking. 1286 01:10:10,040 --> 01:10:12,440 Jack of All Trades. Drinks on me. Come on. 1287 01:10:12,940 --> 01:10:14,640 -No, I already have a beer. -No, no, no, no. 1288 01:10:14,940 --> 01:10:17,341 I'm talking about doing some serious drinking. 1289 01:10:17,441 --> 01:10:18,741 Drinking with Terry Hoitz. 1290 01:11:07,644 --> 01:11:09,444 This sucks, man. Work our ass off on this case, 1291 01:11:09,544 --> 01:11:11,144 now we gotta hand over all of our evidence? 1292 01:11:11,244 --> 01:11:12,444 Yeah, it's not right. 1293 01:11:12,544 --> 01:11:14,644 Oh, my God, I'm hungover. 1294 01:11:16,944 --> 01:11:17,744 So, you guys are law enforcement? 1295 01:11:18,444 --> 01:11:20,344 Yeah, we're an independent government agency who, 1296 01:11:20,444 --> 01:11:22,344 along with the FBl and the Federal Reserve, 1297 01:11:22,444 --> 01:11:24,544 regulate the stock market and corporate fraud. 1298 01:11:24,945 --> 01:11:27,545 And the Federal Reserve is a prison? 1299 01:11:27,745 --> 01:11:30,545 No, basically, it's a held-for-profit bank that sets interest rates 1300 01:11:30,645 --> 01:11:31,745 and loans money to other banks. 1301 01:11:32,545 --> 01:11:34,745 -ls that a wastebasket? -Yeah, right there. 1302 01:11:34,845 --> 01:11:36,245 Thank you. 1303 01:11:37,945 --> 01:11:41,245 -You all right? -Holy hell! 1304 01:11:42,946 --> 01:11:44,646 I'm so sorry. 1305 01:11:45,246 --> 01:11:46,546 I got so drunk last night. 1306 01:11:46,746 --> 01:11:50,546 I think I thought a tube of toothpaste was astronaut food. 1307 01:11:51,646 --> 01:11:53,446 Come on in, fellas. 1308 01:11:54,546 --> 01:11:56,746 You gotta be kidding me. You're Ershon's lawyer. 1309 01:11:56,846 --> 01:11:58,546 We're turning over our investigation to you? 1310 01:11:58,946 --> 01:12:01,247 Let me assure you there will be no conflict of interest 1311 01:12:01,347 --> 01:12:02,747 between me and David Ershon. 1312 01:12:02,847 --> 01:12:06,947 And if this were an actual investigation, I would immediately recuse myself. 1313 01:12:07,047 --> 01:12:11,347 This is all the evidence we have, and I truly hope you take this seriously. 1314 01:12:11,447 --> 01:12:12,747 Yes. Very much so. 1315 01:12:12,747 --> 01:12:14,547 From everything I've heard, I understand 1316 01:12:14,647 --> 01:12:17,848 you guys are the best at these types of investigations. 1317 01:12:17,948 --> 01:12:20,748 Outside of Enron and AlG 1318 01:12:20,848 --> 01:12:22,248 and Bernie Madoff, 1319 01:12:22,948 --> 01:12:25,548 WorldCom, Bear Stearns, Lehman Brothers. 1320 01:12:25,648 --> 01:12:27,548 Okay. Thank you. Thank you, Detective. 1321 01:12:27,648 --> 01:12:29,448 -Would you like a seat, or you're fine? -No, I'm good. 1322 01:12:29,548 --> 01:12:31,148 Okay. Let me just assure you fellas, 1323 01:12:31,648 --> 01:12:34,149 David Ershon is an upstanding citizen. 1324 01:12:34,849 --> 01:12:36,649 I am playing squash with him tonight at the club, 1325 01:12:36,649 --> 01:12:37,549 and we're having dinner. 1326 01:12:38,049 --> 01:12:40,149 You listen to me, you Windsor knot-wearing monkey, 1327 01:12:40,249 --> 01:12:42,349 you play squash with Ershon, right? 1328 01:12:42,449 --> 01:12:45,649 Your kids go to school with his? How would you know if he's clean or not? 1329 01:12:45,749 --> 01:12:47,449 I will take a look at your evidence, 1330 01:12:47,549 --> 01:12:48,749 and I will take a second look at the financials. 1331 01:12:49,449 --> 01:12:51,550 And when I come back and bust your ass, 1332 01:12:51,650 --> 01:12:54,150 we're locking David Ershon in the Federal Reserve! 1333 01:12:54,250 --> 01:12:55,650 He still doesn't understand the concept. 1334 01:13:17,051 --> 01:13:18,651 What are you doing? 1335 01:13:19,151 --> 01:13:22,451 We just handed all of our evidence over to the bad guy's lawyer! 1336 01:13:22,551 --> 01:13:24,751 Are you a big man, huh? 1337 01:13:24,851 --> 01:13:26,352 -I'm talking to you. -What? 1338 01:13:26,452 --> 01:13:29,252 You wake up in the morning, you say, "I'm putting on my big boy pants"? 1339 01:13:29,352 --> 01:13:30,552 "Look, I'm wearing a belt! 1340 01:13:30,652 --> 01:13:32,752 -"I've got big boy pants on!" -No! 1341 01:13:33,052 --> 01:13:34,852 You borrow a little jacket, you go? 1342 01:13:35,052 --> 01:13:37,052 You take your lunch 'cause you got big boy pants on? 1343 01:13:37,552 --> 01:13:39,452 You got your big boy pants and your snack? 1344 01:13:40,152 --> 01:13:41,852 I could say big, loud things! 1345 01:13:42,352 --> 01:13:43,753 I could be demonstrative! 1346 01:13:44,053 --> 01:13:45,953 -Stop! -We don't, we don't do this! 1347 01:13:46,053 --> 01:13:48,153 You're scaring the shit out of me, man! Stop it! 1348 01:13:48,253 --> 01:13:51,453 Is this how you conduct yourself? In a democracy? 1349 01:13:51,553 --> 01:13:53,253 What the hell are you doing, man? 1350 01:13:53,653 --> 01:13:58,053 I'm so tired of you getting angry and yelling all the time. 1351 01:13:58,953 --> 01:14:00,654 It's exhausting. 1352 01:14:02,754 --> 01:14:04,654 I feel like I'm partners with the Hulk. 1353 01:14:05,054 --> 01:14:07,554 You wanna know why I'm so angry all the time? 1354 01:14:07,654 --> 01:14:11,054 'Cause the more I try and do right, the more I screw things up. 1355 01:14:11,754 --> 01:14:16,754 We've got a possible jumpet at 3 Wotld Financial Centet, 23td floot. 1356 01:14:16,854 --> 01:14:19,155 All units, fite depattment, en toute. 1357 01:14:19,155 --> 01:14:21,355 -SEC. -Beaman's office. 1358 01:14:21,855 --> 01:14:22,955 We have to go. 1359 01:14:23,155 --> 01:14:24,955 -But the Captain. -We have to go, Allen. 1360 01:14:24,955 --> 01:14:29,655 All units, I need a tespondent. Possible jumpet, 3 Wotld Financial Centet. 1361 01:14:40,856 --> 01:14:43,056 Shit. It's Beaman! 1362 01:14:43,856 --> 01:14:46,656 -He's gotta know something. -Wesley! 1363 01:14:46,956 --> 01:14:48,756 Detective Hoitz and Gamble. We got this. 1364 01:14:49,256 --> 01:14:51,356 I took an online class at University of Phoenix on negotiating. 1365 01:14:51,856 --> 01:14:54,057 I'm gonna need a priest and a bullhorn. 1366 01:14:54,157 --> 01:14:56,557 -I got no bullhorn. -Does anyone have a bullhorn? 1367 01:14:56,657 --> 01:14:58,857 -Bullhorn, anyone? -Truck. 1368 01:14:59,857 --> 01:15:01,857 Police business. I need to use your PA system. 1369 01:15:01,957 --> 01:15:03,157 Okay, let me turn it on. 1370 01:15:05,157 --> 01:15:07,957 Mt. Beaman? Mt. Don Beaman? 1371 01:15:08,057 --> 01:15:11,258 It's Wesley. I know Ershon's Wesley's... 1372 01:15:11,358 --> 01:15:14,158 Look, thete's a lot to live fot in this life. 1373 01:15:14,258 --> 01:15:19,358 A lot of gteat things, like soda pop, big ftesh can of soda pop. 1374 01:15:19,358 --> 01:15:20,758 They do not care! 1375 01:15:20,858 --> 01:15:23,158 Give me this. I know how to talk to him. 1376 01:15:23,258 --> 01:15:26,858 Listen, we all know you'te a scumbag, and nobody cates about you. 1377 01:15:26,958 --> 01:15:28,359 Rotten piece of shit. 1378 01:15:28,359 --> 01:15:30,359 That's worse than what I was saying. 1379 01:15:30,759 --> 01:15:32,359 I'm not gonna lie to you, Don. 1380 01:15:32,459 --> 01:15:36,159 People down hete ate statting to mutmut that you don't have the balls to do it. 1381 01:15:36,559 --> 01:15:38,559 -I don't care! -Yeah. 1382 01:15:38,659 --> 01:15:41,059 I say you can do it. 1383 01:15:41,759 --> 01:15:45,760 I mean, I don't want you to jump. I'm just saying you have the capability. 1384 01:15:46,360 --> 01:15:47,460 Look, he's flying! 1385 01:15:53,160 --> 01:15:54,460 Stop that. 1386 01:15:55,160 --> 01:15:57,060 Half empty bottle of gin. Chair knocked over. 1387 01:15:57,160 --> 01:16:00,160 Look at this, it's a clear sign of a struggle. Make sure you get this, all right? 1388 01:16:00,960 --> 01:16:03,861 Detectives, all your work's done here. You can go. 1389 01:16:03,961 --> 01:16:05,561 What about Ershon targeting the lottery? 1390 01:16:05,561 --> 01:16:09,761 You know why Ershon was calling down to the lottery offices all those times? 1391 01:16:09,861 --> 01:16:11,861 Because he was hooking up with the Powerball girl, 1392 01:16:11,961 --> 01:16:14,261 the one on TV with all the numbered balls. 1393 01:16:14,361 --> 01:16:16,461 Yeah. She filed a restraining order on him last week. 1394 01:16:17,061 --> 01:16:18,861 It was right there in front of you the whole time. 1395 01:16:18,961 --> 01:16:20,862 -Can't be. -You guys are getting transferred. 1396 01:16:20,962 --> 01:16:23,062 -What? -Traffic. 1397 01:16:23,162 --> 01:16:24,262 Yeah, that's right. 1398 01:16:24,362 --> 01:16:28,062 You, you're gonna walk a beat downtown. You're gonna walk a beat downtown. 1399 01:16:28,162 --> 01:16:30,462 -It's done. No, no. It's done. -Captain, what are you talking about? 1400 01:16:30,562 --> 01:16:32,462 -Save yourselves some gas. -Captain! 1401 01:16:32,962 --> 01:16:34,362 Is there an appeal process we can... 1402 01:16:34,462 --> 01:16:37,563 Had to do what you had to do, Captain. 1403 01:16:37,663 --> 01:16:39,863 Wow! That hurt. 1404 01:16:42,063 --> 01:16:44,163 -Excuse me. Where's my car? -They towed it. 1405 01:16:44,263 --> 01:16:46,763 Couple of homeless people were messing around in it. 1406 01:16:46,763 --> 01:16:50,463 -That's an official police car. -Could have fooled me. 1407 01:16:55,664 --> 01:16:56,964 Wow, Mauch was upset, huh? 1408 01:16:57,464 --> 01:16:58,664 Really? 1409 01:16:58,764 --> 01:17:01,064 The only thing I had to be proud of in my life was being a detective. 1410 01:17:01,164 --> 01:17:03,764 That was all I had. Now it's gone. 1411 01:17:04,464 --> 01:17:06,964 I know. I know. You still got me. 1412 01:17:07,064 --> 01:17:10,564 Don't you get it? I don't want you, Allen, okay? I never did. 1413 01:17:10,664 --> 01:17:12,865 I told you that scaffolding violation was dogshit. 1414 01:17:13,265 --> 01:17:15,365 I can't believe you still doubt me after everything we've seen. 1415 01:17:15,465 --> 01:17:19,965 It's a real case, and I'm a real cop. We just got the wrong target for Ershon. 1416 01:17:20,065 --> 01:17:22,265 -You carry a rape whistle. -This is real cop work. 1417 01:17:22,465 --> 01:17:25,265 There is nothing about you that makes a man a man, okay? 1418 01:17:25,365 --> 01:17:28,766 You got no gun, no car, no wife, and now you got no partner. 1419 01:17:28,866 --> 01:17:30,366 Leave me alone. 1420 01:17:31,066 --> 01:17:32,466 A mutt case. 1421 01:17:32,666 --> 01:17:35,166 Terry, I am a cop, for your information, okay? 1422 01:17:35,266 --> 01:17:37,466 A btoken pattnetship. 1423 01:17:37,466 --> 01:17:38,666 I'm a cop! 1424 01:17:38,666 --> 01:17:42,366 And getting busted down to a shitty assignment. 1425 01:17:42,466 --> 01:17:45,567 Allen and Tetty hit the ttifecta. 1426 01:17:48,267 --> 01:17:51,367 But sometimes when you get yout ass kicked, 1427 01:17:52,567 --> 01:17:55,267 that's when you find out what's teal... 1428 01:17:57,667 --> 01:17:59,667 ...and what needs doing. 1429 01:18:05,668 --> 01:18:07,668 Whethet it's ditecting ttaffic... 1430 01:18:07,768 --> 01:18:08,868 Come on! 1431 01:18:09,268 --> 01:18:12,768 ...ot ctacking a multibillion dollat ftaud. 1432 01:18:24,169 --> 01:18:26,269 -Do you work here? -Yeah, I do. 1433 01:18:26,369 --> 01:18:29,169 The wrecking ball that crashed into Castien down there. 1434 01:18:29,369 --> 01:18:30,869 They also did damage to your office? 1435 01:18:30,969 --> 01:18:33,469 Some police officers came by and sealed it off. 1436 01:18:33,569 --> 01:18:34,969 Do you recall what they looked like? 1437 01:18:35,069 --> 01:18:37,770 One of them had an Australian accent. 1438 01:18:38,270 --> 01:18:42,070 You don't happen to do any business for the state lottery, do you? 1439 01:18:42,170 --> 01:18:45,570 No. Our main client is Lendl Global. 1440 01:18:45,570 --> 01:18:47,270 Can I ask what this is about? 1441 01:19:00,671 --> 01:19:02,871 Gator needs his gat, you punkass bitch! 1442 01:19:12,272 --> 01:19:14,372 'Cause that's what a teal cop is. 1443 01:19:14,472 --> 01:19:16,972 No, I didn't say "Lock her up." I never said, "Lock her up." 1444 01:19:17,072 --> 01:19:19,872 A guy who does what needs to be done. 1445 01:19:19,972 --> 01:19:23,872 A guy who knows how to use his datk side fot good. 1446 01:19:23,972 --> 01:19:25,572 And then you move to Flotida. 1447 01:19:34,873 --> 01:19:36,073 One, two, three, attack! 1448 01:19:38,773 --> 01:19:39,973 Terry, it's me. 1449 01:19:40,073 --> 01:19:42,273 -Tap out. Tap out. -It's me, Allen. 1450 01:19:42,373 --> 01:19:43,973 Are you tapping out, or are you hitting me in the face? 1451 01:19:44,073 --> 01:19:45,773 I'm tapping out! 1452 01:19:46,574 --> 01:19:49,674 You crazy? What are you doing, man? 1453 01:19:49,774 --> 01:19:51,174 -They might be watching us. -Could've killed you. 1454 01:19:51,274 --> 01:19:52,374 -Turn out the lights. -What? 1455 01:19:52,474 --> 01:19:53,574 -They could be watching us. -Who? 1456 01:19:53,874 --> 01:19:56,474 I found some big information, okay? 1457 01:19:56,474 --> 01:19:59,674 -About what? -Some scary shit, Terry. This is big. 1458 01:19:59,974 --> 01:20:02,774 How'd you get in here? This place is foolproof. 1459 01:20:02,774 --> 01:20:05,275 -We can't be too careful. -What are you talking about? 1460 01:20:05,375 --> 01:20:08,475 -This place might be bugged. -There's no bugs in here. 1461 01:20:12,775 --> 01:20:15,775 First off, I missed you. 1462 01:20:15,875 --> 01:20:18,675 -What's going on? -Did you hear what I said? 1463 01:20:18,775 --> 01:20:22,776 -Fine, I kind of missed you, too. -Thank you. 1464 01:20:22,876 --> 01:20:27,176 Okay. I found out whose losses Ershon has to cover. 1465 01:20:27,176 --> 01:20:29,476 -It's Lendl Global. -What? 1466 01:20:29,576 --> 01:20:32,176 Lendl staged the Castien robbery as a distraction 1467 01:20:32,176 --> 01:20:35,176 so they could break into their own accounting firm next door. 1468 01:20:35,276 --> 01:20:38,477 They then altered all the records to cover the losses 1469 01:20:38,577 --> 01:20:41,377 that Ershon had cost them through all of his bad investments. 1470 01:20:41,577 --> 01:20:44,977 You're not supposed to be doing this. You're supposed to be walking the beat. 1471 01:20:45,077 --> 01:20:47,577 I know. Pretty tricky, though, huh? 1472 01:20:48,177 --> 01:20:50,177 This is bad, Allen. This is bad. 1473 01:20:50,277 --> 01:20:52,677 No wonder the captain wanted us to stay out of this. 1474 01:20:52,777 --> 01:20:54,877 Yeah, I bet Beaman started asking questions. 1475 01:20:54,977 --> 01:20:56,978 -That's why they killed him. -Man. 1476 01:20:57,078 --> 01:20:58,178 Here's the other thing. 1477 01:20:58,278 --> 01:21:00,278 Tomorrow, there's a massive business deal going down. 1478 01:21:00,478 --> 01:21:01,878 Ershon's leading it. 1479 01:21:01,978 --> 01:21:04,878 I still can't figure out who the poor sucker is they're making the deal with, 1480 01:21:04,878 --> 01:21:06,078 but we gotta stop it. 1481 01:21:06,178 --> 01:21:07,878 It's time to let the peacock fly. 1482 01:21:08,878 --> 01:21:10,778 I'm not going, Allen. I like what I do. 1483 01:21:11,178 --> 01:21:13,279 So do l. We're cops. 1484 01:21:13,379 --> 01:21:17,879 No. I like what I do now. I like working traffic. It's a great gig. 1485 01:21:18,079 --> 01:21:19,079 What? 1486 01:21:19,679 --> 01:21:23,479 I like working traffic. I'm not going with you. 1487 01:21:23,579 --> 01:21:25,979 What is this traffic bullshit? 1488 01:21:29,879 --> 01:21:33,380 -What are you talking about? -I'm talking about my life. 1489 01:21:33,480 --> 01:21:36,180 The corner I run on 54th and 3rd Avenue? It hums. 1490 01:21:36,280 --> 01:21:39,980 It's Terry's intersection. And the traffic guys? They're good guys. 1491 01:21:40,080 --> 01:21:43,080 There's this one guy, Phillip? He can pee in the urinal from 20 feet. 1492 01:21:43,180 --> 01:21:44,380 You've gotta see it, Allen. You've got to. 1493 01:21:44,380 --> 01:21:47,080 What happened to you? What happened to this being our time? 1494 01:21:47,380 --> 01:21:49,481 No way, Allen. I'm out. I'm done. 1495 01:21:50,781 --> 01:21:53,681 -Get in the car. -Come on, Allen. We both know it's wooden. 1496 01:21:55,181 --> 01:21:59,081 -Apartment pop. Now get in the car. -You're not gonna shoot me. 1497 01:21:59,081 --> 01:22:01,681 Okay, I'll be honest. This is only the second time I've ever fired this. 1498 01:22:01,881 --> 01:22:03,081 So stop pointing it at me. 1499 01:22:03,181 --> 01:22:07,182 Look, tomorrow morning, all I know is I'm going to Mauch, all right? 1500 01:22:07,482 --> 01:22:08,582 For what? He doesn't care. 1501 01:22:08,682 --> 01:22:11,882 He's been dodging this case for too long and I want answers. 1502 01:22:11,982 --> 01:22:14,182 I want him to look me in the eye and tell me why. 1503 01:22:14,282 --> 01:22:17,082 Turn on the news, man. Nobody cares. 1504 01:22:17,782 --> 01:22:19,082 I hope I'm not alone. 1505 01:22:19,882 --> 01:22:22,483 Hope you bring it. 1506 01:22:24,183 --> 01:22:26,283 We got a big day out there. Big one. 1507 01:22:26,383 --> 01:22:28,883 We got a full moon. People are gonna be amped, all right? 1508 01:22:29,283 --> 01:22:31,783 Let's see what we got on hot tips, all right? 1509 01:22:33,283 --> 01:22:34,383 The new bathmats are in. 1510 01:22:37,283 --> 01:22:41,484 One more thing. We got a serial rapist in Crown Heights. 1511 01:22:41,484 --> 01:22:44,984 Jeez, I'm sorry. That's from my other job. Ignore that. Forget that. 1512 01:22:45,084 --> 01:22:46,284 Well, don't ignore it. 1513 01:22:46,384 --> 01:22:49,584 If you live in Crown Heights, you know, walk in pairs. 1514 01:22:49,684 --> 01:22:53,984 Gene Mauch to kitchen accessoties. Gene Mauch to kitchen accessoties. 1515 01:22:54,084 --> 01:22:57,685 I gotta go. Go get 'em. Let's be careful out there. 1516 01:22:59,785 --> 01:23:00,885 The oak. 1517 01:23:00,985 --> 01:23:04,485 I like to keep the oak together and the maple separately, okay? 1518 01:23:04,685 --> 01:23:05,685 And these chopping boards? 1519 01:23:05,985 --> 01:23:07,085 Hey, Captain. 1520 01:23:08,485 --> 01:23:10,985 Hey, Allen. Hey, how you doing? 1521 01:23:11,085 --> 01:23:12,885 What are you doing here? Are you here for the bathmats? 1522 01:23:13,385 --> 01:23:17,086 -I need you to be straight with me. -Straight with us. 1523 01:23:17,186 --> 01:23:19,886 Hey, Terry. Look at this. 1524 01:23:19,986 --> 01:23:23,586 -I thought you were working traffic today. -Let them block the box. 1525 01:23:23,986 --> 01:23:27,486 -Besides, partners' code, right? -Thanks. 1526 01:23:28,986 --> 01:23:31,587 Hey, why have you worked your ass off trying to kill this case? 1527 01:23:33,087 --> 01:23:36,187 All right, fine. I'm gonna tell you guys something. 1528 01:23:36,287 --> 01:23:39,587 You really went into deep water on this one. You really went in deep. 1529 01:23:39,687 --> 01:23:41,587 Ershon's connected to all the higher ups, 1530 01:23:41,687 --> 01:23:44,587 and I gotta save what little ass I have left, okay? 1531 01:23:45,187 --> 01:23:47,387 You keep hiding from shit in the world, 1532 01:23:47,387 --> 01:23:49,688 and eventually the world comes to your front door. 1533 01:23:50,188 --> 01:23:52,388 -Nice. -That's very nice. 1534 01:23:52,488 --> 01:23:54,088 I heard it in an episode of Touched By An Angel. 1535 01:23:54,588 --> 01:23:58,588 You keep this thing real quiet, and you make sure you have real evidence, 1536 01:23:58,688 --> 01:24:00,288 and maybe I'll see what I can do. 1537 01:24:00,388 --> 01:24:01,588 But if you make a lot of noise 1538 01:24:01,688 --> 01:24:04,788 and you attract the media attention, and you bring the DA in on this, 1539 01:24:04,888 --> 01:24:06,389 I am out, okay? 1540 01:24:06,589 --> 01:24:07,889 Yeah, we'll go in there like church mice. 1541 01:24:07,989 --> 01:24:12,389 But there's one case, one case in a career where you go all in. 1542 01:24:12,389 --> 01:24:13,589 This is it. 1543 01:24:14,089 --> 01:24:17,489 All right. Then you do us proud. 1544 01:24:17,989 --> 01:24:19,289 'Cause I don't want no scrubs. 1545 01:24:19,989 --> 01:24:22,489 -Really? -No. 1546 01:24:22,589 --> 01:24:25,890 -You're not aware that's a TLC song? -I have no idea what you're talking about. 1547 01:24:26,190 --> 01:24:27,590 -Second time. -You said chasing waterfalls, 1548 01:24:27,690 --> 01:24:28,890 now you're saying you don't want no scrubs. 1549 01:24:28,890 --> 01:24:30,690 -I don't even understand the reference. -It's like a tic. 1550 01:24:30,790 --> 01:24:31,890 I have no idea what you're talking about. 1551 01:24:31,990 --> 01:24:34,290 Remember, this thing gets messy, we never talked. 1552 01:24:34,690 --> 01:24:36,390 -You can trust us. -Real quiet. 1553 01:24:36,590 --> 01:24:38,790 You gotta creep. Creep. 1554 01:24:39,090 --> 01:24:40,390 Come on. 1555 01:24:41,291 --> 01:24:43,791 You don't say "Creep-creep" unless you're quoting TLC. 1556 01:24:44,091 --> 01:24:45,491 Hey, guys. 1557 01:24:46,391 --> 01:24:48,291 You know Danson and Highsmith were not good cops, right? 1558 01:24:48,991 --> 01:24:50,791 Yeah, I guess we kind of knew that, but it's a drag. 1559 01:24:50,791 --> 01:24:52,691 I mean, at a certain point, who's left to be a hero? 1560 01:24:53,091 --> 01:24:56,191 Not to be corny, maybe it's you guys. 1561 01:24:57,691 --> 01:24:59,192 You ready? 1562 01:24:59,292 --> 01:25:00,992 -Yeah. -Let's go. 1563 01:25:09,492 --> 01:25:11,792 -No, but the highlights are great. -Thank you. 1564 01:25:11,992 --> 01:25:13,992 -Sexy but serious. -Thank you. 1565 01:25:14,092 --> 01:25:15,493 Excuse me. 1566 01:25:16,493 --> 01:25:19,193 Who the hell are all these people? I was only expecting one man. 1567 01:25:19,293 --> 01:25:23,793 You know, they're just some people I owe money to who wanted to be here. 1568 01:25:23,793 --> 01:25:24,893 Who are they? 1569 01:25:26,393 --> 01:25:31,093 Well, they are some Chechen patriots, entrepreneurs. 1570 01:25:31,193 --> 01:25:36,994 And the black chaps are some businessmen from Nigeria. 1571 01:25:37,094 --> 01:25:39,294 You owe money to the Nigerians and Chechens? 1572 01:25:39,394 --> 01:25:40,894 Yes. Yes, I do. 1573 01:25:40,994 --> 01:25:44,194 -You're a piece of work. -Thank you. 1574 01:25:44,394 --> 01:25:47,694 Probably best to get started. 1575 01:25:48,194 --> 01:25:51,595 This is good, baby. We're in the game, we know the score. 1576 01:25:51,695 --> 01:25:54,595 The only thing that bugs me is we still don't know who Ershon's targeting. 1577 01:25:54,695 --> 01:25:58,795 -ls it the lotto? Who is it? -Who cares? Some rich prick. 1578 01:25:58,895 --> 01:26:04,795 I have to tell you, I am tremendously excited by this deal. 1579 01:26:04,895 --> 01:26:07,396 And I can assure you that every dime of your money 1580 01:26:07,496 --> 01:26:10,496 will be invested with the utmost diligence. 1581 01:26:10,596 --> 01:26:12,496 Your rates of return are really exciting. 1582 01:26:12,596 --> 01:26:14,196 We think our members are gonna be just thrilled. 1583 01:26:14,196 --> 01:26:18,096 Yeah. I mean, we've averaged, like, 18% over the last 10 years. 1584 01:26:19,196 --> 01:26:21,396 All right. Quiet as a church mouse, in and out. 1585 01:26:21,496 --> 01:26:23,696 I can feel that tingling in my balls you were talking about. 1586 01:26:23,796 --> 01:26:24,897 Beautiful. 1587 01:26:24,997 --> 01:26:26,397 All right, listen up. 1588 01:26:26,497 --> 01:26:29,397 I am Detective Gamble. This is Detective Hoitz. 1589 01:26:29,497 --> 01:26:31,697 We need your cooperation. 1590 01:26:31,697 --> 01:26:33,197 David Ershon. 1591 01:26:33,297 --> 01:26:35,597 You're under arrest for fraud, embezzlement, 1592 01:26:35,697 --> 01:26:37,397 and in connection to the murder of Don Beaman. 1593 01:26:37,897 --> 01:26:39,297 This is a bad idea. 1594 01:26:39,797 --> 01:26:41,197 Hey, guys. 1595 01:26:42,798 --> 01:26:45,198 Bob? What are you doing here? 1596 01:26:45,698 --> 01:26:46,998 I'm investing. 1597 01:26:47,098 --> 01:26:49,498 Do you remember we talked about that proxy vote a while back? 1598 01:26:49,598 --> 01:26:51,198 -This is what it was for. -Holy shit. 1599 01:26:51,398 --> 01:26:53,898 It's a more aggressive investment strategy for the pension. 1600 01:26:53,998 --> 01:26:58,198 Allen! We're the suckers. They're targeting the police pension fund. 1601 01:27:04,499 --> 01:27:08,199 Gentlemen, you're here illegally and without a warrant. 1602 01:27:09,099 --> 01:27:10,499 We are within our rights to take action. 1603 01:28:08,903 --> 01:28:10,703 So much for quiet as church mice! 1604 01:28:11,303 --> 01:28:12,403 Go! 1605 01:28:17,503 --> 01:28:18,903 Who the hell are those guys? 1606 01:28:19,003 --> 01:28:22,003 Gentlemen, I can get you obstructed view tickets for Rock of Ages. 1607 01:28:22,103 --> 01:28:26,104 Even I admit that's not very tempting, but I'm not made of tickets, God damn it! 1608 01:28:26,104 --> 01:28:28,104 -Get in the front! -How do you start this freaking thing? 1609 01:28:28,404 --> 01:28:29,404 Go on! Go! 1610 01:28:30,104 --> 01:28:31,104 -Shit! -Go! 1611 01:28:33,604 --> 01:28:34,604 Oh, my... 1612 01:28:36,004 --> 01:28:38,904 Jeanie! Get over here! You, go get the bloody car! 1613 01:29:25,407 --> 01:29:26,407 Hold the wheel! 1614 01:29:32,107 --> 01:29:34,507 -Open the back! -I got it. I got it! 1615 01:29:42,508 --> 01:29:45,508 They're gonna kill me. And then they will kill you. 1616 01:29:45,608 --> 01:29:48,008 -Well, I'm gonna kill you first! -And then they will kill me. 1617 01:29:48,108 --> 01:29:51,108 We have two togue police officets. They ate atmed and dangetous, 1618 01:29:51,208 --> 01:29:52,909 -and holding David Etshon hostage. -Stupid pricks! 1619 01:29:52,909 --> 01:29:56,409 -It's us, we're good guys! -Exactly. They're the good guys. 1620 01:29:56,509 --> 01:29:58,709 Where do we go? Where do we go? 1621 01:29:58,809 --> 01:30:01,409 I have a small apartment. No one knows about it. 1622 01:30:01,509 --> 01:30:04,209 I use it mainly for my parents and prostitutes. 1623 01:30:04,309 --> 01:30:06,409 Not at the same time. That would be wrong. 1624 01:30:09,610 --> 01:30:12,310 Let's hear it from the top, every detail. 1625 01:30:12,910 --> 01:30:17,510 I think the best way to tell the story is by starting at the end, briefly, 1626 01:30:17,610 --> 01:30:22,610 then going back to the beginning, and then periodically returning to the end, 1627 01:30:22,710 --> 01:30:25,810 maybe giving different characters' perspectives throughout. 1628 01:30:25,910 --> 01:30:29,211 Just to give it a bit of dynamism, otherwise, it's just sort of a linear story. 1629 01:30:29,311 --> 01:30:30,411 Just tell us what happened. 1630 01:30:30,511 --> 01:30:33,311 I lost a bunch of money from some people and now they want it back. 1631 01:30:33,611 --> 01:30:34,911 What about Don Beaman? 1632 01:30:35,011 --> 01:30:37,511 Beaman knew that I had falsified my financials, 1633 01:30:37,611 --> 01:30:39,911 so they sent down Wesley to try and keep him quiet. 1634 01:30:40,611 --> 01:30:42,411 He forced him at gunpoint to drink a bunch of gin 1635 01:30:42,511 --> 01:30:44,612 and then forced him onto the ledge. 1636 01:30:44,612 --> 01:30:46,412 It was only a matter of time before he fell. 1637 01:30:46,412 --> 01:30:49,912 At least we stopped you from getting the pension fund. 1638 01:30:50,012 --> 01:30:53,212 Well, but, yeah, but you didn't. It's already in my account. 1639 01:30:53,312 --> 01:30:55,912 By 9:00 in the morning, it goes into the Lendl equity fund 1640 01:30:56,012 --> 01:30:58,712 and from there it's transferred to a dozen offshore accounts. 1641 01:30:58,812 --> 01:31:00,312 By 9:01, it's gone. 1642 01:31:00,412 --> 01:31:03,413 -Well, what if we stop the transfer? -But you can't. I mean, there's a... 1643 01:31:03,513 --> 01:31:05,913 What if we stop the transfer? 1644 01:31:06,013 --> 01:31:08,913 You'd have to be at Endemic Bank for 9:00 exactly, 1645 01:31:09,013 --> 01:31:11,413 find the clerk, get the routing number. 1646 01:31:11,513 --> 01:31:12,613 We gotta stop it. 1647 01:31:12,613 --> 01:31:13,813 There's no way. 1648 01:31:13,913 --> 01:31:17,613 Every cop, the crazy Australian and his crew, they'll all be after us. 1649 01:31:17,613 --> 01:31:21,714 You could let me go, and I'll give you $10 million each. 1650 01:31:22,414 --> 01:31:25,414 -It's not a bribe. -Of course it's a bribe. 1651 01:31:25,514 --> 01:31:27,614 You're offering to pay us money to not do our job. 1652 01:31:29,714 --> 01:31:31,014 It's not a bribe. 1653 01:31:31,614 --> 01:31:34,014 We hang low here tonight. Nobody knows about this place. 1654 01:31:34,114 --> 01:31:35,815 We'll be safe. And tomorrow, we hit it. 1655 01:31:36,615 --> 01:31:38,115 First things first, I gotta go see Sheila. 1656 01:31:38,215 --> 01:31:39,615 No way, it's too dangerous. 1657 01:31:39,715 --> 01:31:42,015 Look, Terry, we don't know what's gonna happen to us tomorrow, 1658 01:31:42,115 --> 01:31:45,615 but tonight, I need to make things right with Sheila. 1659 01:31:46,115 --> 01:31:48,015 All right, go. Go. Be careful. 1660 01:31:48,515 --> 01:31:50,115 Thanks, I will. 1661 01:31:51,015 --> 01:31:52,215 Will you say hi to Sheila for me? 1662 01:31:52,415 --> 01:31:54,116 -Okay. -Okay. 1663 01:31:54,216 --> 01:31:57,216 Tell her. Say Terry was asking about you. 1664 01:31:57,316 --> 01:31:58,716 He wants to make sure you know 1665 01:31:58,816 --> 01:32:01,216 that he'll be there for you if anything happens. 1666 01:32:01,316 --> 01:32:03,316 -Yeah. -Drop of a hat, I'm there. 1667 01:32:03,616 --> 01:32:05,616 Look, it's starting to get a little weird, man. 1668 01:32:05,716 --> 01:32:08,616 If something happens to you, I need to be there to take care of her. 1669 01:32:08,716 --> 01:32:11,617 All of her wants, her needs, and desires are now my responsibility. 1670 01:32:11,717 --> 01:32:13,817 Why do you say it like it's a predetermined thing? 1671 01:32:14,017 --> 01:32:15,417 Just go, man. 1672 01:32:16,117 --> 01:32:17,617 Okay. Thanks. 1673 01:32:18,617 --> 01:32:19,717 Go. 1674 01:32:23,617 --> 01:32:24,817 Janeco Gallery. 1675 01:32:25,717 --> 01:32:27,818 Francine, it's Terry. Please don't hang up. 1676 01:32:38,618 --> 01:32:39,718 Please pick up. 1677 01:32:40,618 --> 01:32:41,818 Hello. 1678 01:32:41,918 --> 01:32:45,019 Hey, sweetie. I was ptaying you'd be at yout mom's house. 1679 01:32:45,119 --> 01:32:48,419 You know what, I can't talk anymore. I think the phone's being tapped. 1680 01:32:48,619 --> 01:32:51,119 Baby, where are you? I wanna see you. 1681 01:32:51,219 --> 01:32:53,419 I'm near the place where we did it three Halloweens ago. 1682 01:32:53,419 --> 01:32:54,519 Do you remember? 1683 01:32:55,419 --> 01:32:56,819 Okay, yeah, I got it. 1684 01:32:56,919 --> 01:33:00,519 I'm just warning you, though. Watch out. I think they're watching the house. 1685 01:33:00,619 --> 01:33:03,220 Don't wotty, sweetie. I think I have a way of talking to you. 1686 01:33:03,820 --> 01:33:07,720 I have to admit, I wasn't gonna come. I mean... 1687 01:33:08,920 --> 01:33:12,320 After all those years, after the restraining order. 1688 01:33:12,420 --> 01:33:15,820 I was worried I might not see you again. 1689 01:33:15,920 --> 01:33:17,520 There's some very dangerous people after him, 1690 01:33:17,620 --> 01:33:18,620 and now they're after us. 1691 01:33:21,821 --> 01:33:23,221 It's just the old lady. 1692 01:33:28,821 --> 01:33:30,221 Hello, Allen. 1693 01:33:30,321 --> 01:33:32,921 Hello, Mama Ramos. What are you doing out here? 1694 01:33:32,921 --> 01:33:36,021 Sheila said she doesn't know what happened and she wants you back. 1695 01:33:37,422 --> 01:33:39,222 -She also says... -Yes. 1696 01:33:39,322 --> 01:33:43,222 ...she wants you on top of her, holding her hair, 1697 01:33:43,322 --> 01:33:45,322 and riding her like a bucking bronco 1698 01:33:45,922 --> 01:33:49,622 while she sucks your thumb and says, "Mommy likey." 1699 01:33:50,422 --> 01:33:52,022 You, you tell your daughter... 1700 01:33:52,322 --> 01:33:54,823 He said he'll always love you. 1701 01:33:54,823 --> 01:33:57,523 And he's so happy that you're having his child. 1702 01:33:57,623 --> 01:33:58,823 Allen. 1703 01:33:58,823 --> 01:34:00,723 He also says that 1704 01:34:00,823 --> 01:34:04,823 he wants you to stare into each other's eyes without blinking while you do it. 1705 01:34:05,423 --> 01:34:08,023 -I love when we do that, Mom. -And then afterward, 1706 01:34:08,023 --> 01:34:10,023 Iick the sex off each other. 1707 01:34:11,924 --> 01:34:13,824 I don't wanna do this. 1708 01:34:15,224 --> 01:34:18,624 -You say things that are too personal. -Okay, but just one more thing. 1709 01:34:18,924 --> 01:34:20,924 She said she loves you, 1710 01:34:20,924 --> 01:34:24,024 and wants to hold your hand and have iced tea with you. 1711 01:34:24,724 --> 01:34:27,224 Come on. That's not all she said. 1712 01:34:27,724 --> 01:34:28,925 No. 1713 01:34:30,025 --> 01:34:33,625 -She says other things, but I don't want... -Please, please, please. 1714 01:34:33,625 --> 01:34:35,925 You don't realize, I may be killed tomorrow. 1715 01:34:36,425 --> 01:34:37,625 Okay. 1716 01:34:40,125 --> 01:34:45,025 She says she wants to unplug all the clocks and the phones 1717 01:34:45,125 --> 01:34:48,326 -and have a three-day F marathon. -That's more like it. Yeah. 1718 01:34:48,626 --> 01:34:53,726 She wants to walk wrong for a week because you guys F'd so hard. 1719 01:34:53,826 --> 01:34:55,026 That's just lovely. 1720 01:34:55,426 --> 01:34:59,126 No more! He says things I can't say. 1721 01:34:59,126 --> 01:35:04,927 It involves a mannequin hand and an electric shaver taped to a golf club. 1722 01:35:13,427 --> 01:35:14,527 Now what'd she say? 1723 01:35:17,027 --> 01:35:18,727 She says she loves you. 1724 01:35:25,028 --> 01:35:27,328 I'm so sorry about everything. 1725 01:35:30,528 --> 01:35:33,628 And I just had to come here tonight to tell you that I love you. 1726 01:35:33,628 --> 01:35:36,628 And the reason why I act like you're a plain wife is that 1727 01:35:38,329 --> 01:35:42,329 I'm afraid that if I admit to how stunning 1728 01:35:42,429 --> 01:35:45,229 and intelligent and wonderful you are, 1729 01:35:46,129 --> 01:35:49,929 -I'd just lose you. -Shut up, Allen. I love you. 1730 01:35:50,429 --> 01:35:53,229 We have a place that's safe. All right. 1731 01:36:05,830 --> 01:36:07,030 I'm gonna break your hip. 1732 01:36:15,831 --> 01:36:18,131 I'm about to do you grandpa-style. 1733 01:36:33,532 --> 01:36:35,232 I brought some music. 1734 01:36:39,732 --> 01:36:41,732 Not what I would've chosen, but screw it. 1735 01:36:41,732 --> 01:36:45,032 All right. Let's go, Monday morning, time to go to work. 1736 01:36:45,132 --> 01:36:46,232 Let's do it. 1737 01:36:46,332 --> 01:36:48,033 -You want my gate code? -Shut up, man! 1738 01:36:55,633 --> 01:36:56,733 That's Wesley! 1739 01:37:07,734 --> 01:37:08,834 Yes! 1740 01:37:11,234 --> 01:37:13,834 -Where'd you learn to drive like that? -Gtand Theft Auto! 1741 01:37:16,734 --> 01:37:17,934 Shit, Allen, they're coming. 1742 01:37:20,834 --> 01:37:23,435 -Oh, my God! -Shit. 1743 01:37:24,735 --> 01:37:26,435 -Do something, Allen! -Hold on, hold on. 1744 01:37:47,936 --> 01:37:49,736 Someone's been playing Gtand Theft Auto. 1745 01:37:51,436 --> 01:37:52,836 I did that! 1746 01:37:52,936 --> 01:37:54,536 -I did that! -Oh, my God! 1747 01:37:54,636 --> 01:37:56,937 -That's what I'm talking about! -We jackknifed them! 1748 01:37:57,037 --> 01:37:59,537 Did you see that? It went backwards and then turned upside-down. 1749 01:37:59,637 --> 01:38:03,137 Gator turns vans upside-down like they're in a crazy washing machine! 1750 01:38:03,237 --> 01:38:05,237 Why are you calling yourself Gator? 1751 01:38:05,737 --> 01:38:08,537 It's a nickname I had in college. I used to run a dating service. 1752 01:38:08,637 --> 01:38:11,837 -He was a pimp. -Yeah, I was. I was a pimp. 1753 01:38:11,937 --> 01:38:14,438 Is it me or does it smell like deer vagina in here? 1754 01:38:15,438 --> 01:38:16,638 My poor car. 1755 01:38:16,938 --> 01:38:19,438 Right now the streets are a bloodbath. 1756 01:38:19,538 --> 01:38:22,638 And, statistically speaking, there's about 30 kids in here, 1757 01:38:22,738 --> 01:38:24,738 10 of you are gonna be dead before your next birthday. 1758 01:38:25,038 --> 01:38:28,038 Got a couple of tips, help you guys stay out of jail. 1759 01:38:28,138 --> 01:38:32,439 One, try your hardest to not be black or Hispanic. 1760 01:38:32,539 --> 01:38:34,739 -It's a good tip. -Yeah. Two... 1761 01:38:34,839 --> 01:38:36,139 Gentlemen, we got a hot one. 1762 01:38:36,239 --> 01:38:39,839 Hoitz and Gamble have Etshon hostage, high-speed cat chase in ptogtess. 1763 01:38:39,939 --> 01:38:41,939 Yes! Gun, gun! 1764 01:38:42,039 --> 01:38:43,939 Pass up the guns. Pass them up. Let's go, people. 1765 01:38:44,039 --> 01:38:45,639 There we go. Anything, any Tasers? No? 1766 01:38:45,739 --> 01:38:47,139 Good. Who wants to go on a ride-along? 1767 01:38:47,239 --> 01:38:48,740 I do! 1768 01:38:49,240 --> 01:38:50,540 All right, you, sweetie. Come on, let's go. Move. 1769 01:38:50,640 --> 01:38:51,840 -Move! Let's go. -Come on! 1770 01:39:02,440 --> 01:39:05,240 Cool, a helicopter! Must be covering the high-speed chase. 1771 01:39:10,541 --> 01:39:11,941 Jesus! 1772 01:39:16,741 --> 01:39:19,541 -Who are those guys? -They're Chechen investors. 1773 01:39:19,641 --> 01:39:22,641 We were gonna do a Chechen version of Dota the Explotet. 1774 01:39:22,741 --> 01:39:24,342 Anyway, it went terribly wrong. 1775 01:39:27,542 --> 01:39:29,742 I feel like it's not fair that they have a helicopter! 1776 01:39:30,742 --> 01:39:31,842 Oh, no. 1777 01:39:33,242 --> 01:39:34,242 Damn it. 1778 01:39:38,142 --> 01:39:40,643 Watch your head. God, your hair is soft. 1779 01:39:40,743 --> 01:39:42,143 VO5 Hot Oil. 1780 01:39:45,443 --> 01:39:47,743 You're gonna wreck! There's cars coming from both directions! 1781 01:39:47,843 --> 01:39:48,943 I'm not gonna wreck! 1782 01:39:50,943 --> 01:39:52,743 -I'm gonna wreck! You're right! -You want me to drive? 1783 01:40:12,744 --> 01:40:15,445 -This was a very clever idea. -Yeah. 1784 01:40:27,545 --> 01:40:28,845 They're gone. 1785 01:40:30,245 --> 01:40:31,245 Let's go. 1786 01:40:43,646 --> 01:40:47,046 They are Nigerians. Yeah, I'd forgotten about them. 1787 01:40:54,947 --> 01:40:56,147 -This is a shortcut. -Are you kidding me? 1788 01:40:56,247 --> 01:40:57,447 You cannot go down there. 1789 01:41:05,347 --> 01:41:06,848 What are you doing? 1790 01:41:13,048 --> 01:41:14,148 Hit him! 1791 01:41:21,848 --> 01:41:23,248 -Where are we? -Chelsea Pier. 1792 01:41:29,749 --> 01:41:30,849 What the hell? 1793 01:41:32,149 --> 01:41:33,249 Jesus! 1794 01:41:40,649 --> 01:41:42,450 Them having a helicopter is definitely cheating. 1795 01:41:43,250 --> 01:41:44,250 Go! 1796 01:41:49,450 --> 01:41:50,550 Come on! 1797 01:41:52,350 --> 01:41:53,950 We're cops! Hit the chopper! 1798 01:42:16,852 --> 01:42:19,752 This is Martin and Fosse, en route. Back off! This is our collar! 1799 01:42:21,552 --> 01:42:24,252 Set up a perimeter. No arrests until we get there! 1800 01:42:24,552 --> 01:42:25,652 Take the light! 1801 01:42:45,853 --> 01:42:47,353 Do not authorize that transfer. 1802 01:42:47,453 --> 01:42:49,053 This is David Ershon. The transfer is for him. 1803 01:42:49,153 --> 01:42:51,554 He will tell you not to authorize it, okay? Tell him. 1804 01:42:51,654 --> 01:42:54,254 -Tell him! -Yeah, do as they say. Stop the transfer. 1805 01:42:54,354 --> 01:42:55,254 Approve it. 1806 01:42:56,854 --> 01:42:57,954 Now. 1807 01:42:58,054 --> 01:42:59,654 Do not touch anything! 1808 01:43:00,054 --> 01:43:02,254 I swear to God I'll blow your head all over this desk. 1809 01:43:02,354 --> 01:43:04,754 Not a person in this room believes you'll shoot this clerk. 1810 01:43:04,854 --> 01:43:05,954 Yeah? 1811 01:43:07,354 --> 01:43:10,855 Thank you so much, gentlemen, for the prompt delivery of Mr. Ershon. 1812 01:43:10,955 --> 01:43:14,355 I have two competing bids from jilted investors. 1813 01:43:15,055 --> 01:43:17,255 They're at 30 million, and holding. 1814 01:43:17,955 --> 01:43:19,955 -Wait! Can't you let me... -Take him away. 1815 01:43:20,555 --> 01:43:22,055 But computers. 1816 01:43:24,255 --> 01:43:27,656 What if, one day, they were in charge? 1817 01:43:29,156 --> 01:43:33,256 Now if you don't shut up, I will cut your ear off with a butter knife. 1818 01:43:33,356 --> 01:43:35,456 That's blunt. Blunt's worse than if it's sharp. 1819 01:43:35,556 --> 01:43:36,756 Now! 1820 01:43:43,857 --> 01:43:44,957 You just stood there! 1821 01:43:45,057 --> 01:43:47,857 I didn't know that "now" meant that. How am I supposed to know that? 1822 01:43:47,957 --> 01:43:49,857 -I knew what that meant. -Shut up. 1823 01:43:49,957 --> 01:43:52,957 You kill us and you kill Ershon. You're out 30 million dollars. 1824 01:43:53,057 --> 01:43:55,157 -Who's got the golden goose now, huh? -Yeah. 1825 01:43:59,157 --> 01:44:00,758 Shit! 1826 01:44:01,458 --> 01:44:03,658 He's still valuable with a bullet wound, mate. 1827 01:44:03,658 --> 01:44:05,558 He immediately called your bluff. 1828 01:44:05,658 --> 01:44:07,458 Get up. And kill the police. 1829 01:44:07,558 --> 01:44:09,058 I just wanna make sure I get it right. 1830 01:44:09,158 --> 01:44:12,558 Did you want this transfer approved or not approved? 1831 01:44:12,958 --> 01:44:15,358 You, mate, I'm gonna kill just for fun. 1832 01:44:16,858 --> 01:44:19,659 Police, don't move! Drop your weapons! 1833 01:44:19,859 --> 01:44:22,759 Drop it, or be dropped, homeboy! 1834 01:44:22,859 --> 01:44:25,759 I hope you like the taste of prison food and penis. 1835 01:44:25,859 --> 01:44:28,659 -Police! Down on the ground! -Let me see your hands! 1836 01:44:36,460 --> 01:44:38,760 -Hey, hey, you okay? -Hey. 1837 01:44:39,660 --> 01:44:42,060 Hey, Gene. Captain. I'm sorry. 1838 01:44:42,360 --> 01:44:44,060 -I'm sorry. -That's okay. Don't worry about it. 1839 01:44:44,160 --> 01:44:45,560 You can call me Gene when we're not in the office. 1840 01:44:46,060 --> 01:44:48,260 Okay. Thanks for coming by. 1841 01:44:48,260 --> 01:44:50,360 Attaboy. 1842 01:44:50,460 --> 01:44:52,561 Come on, stay with me. Stay with me. 1843 01:44:52,761 --> 01:44:55,361 We're losing him! We're losing him! He's dying! 1844 01:44:56,161 --> 01:44:59,461 No. No, no, no, no. I'm just resting. I'm just resting. I was just resting. 1845 01:44:59,561 --> 01:45:01,661 I'm sorry. Did I hurt you? 1846 01:45:01,761 --> 01:45:03,261 -Are you all right? -Just resting. 1847 01:45:03,461 --> 01:45:04,861 Hey, let me tell you something. 1848 01:45:04,961 --> 01:45:07,761 As far as paperwork goes, we'll take care of it. 1849 01:45:08,061 --> 01:45:09,662 -You know why? -Why? 1850 01:45:09,762 --> 01:45:11,262 Ain't too proud to beg. 1851 01:45:11,862 --> 01:45:13,062 Come on. 1852 01:45:13,162 --> 01:45:14,962 -What? -It's not funny anymore. 1853 01:45:15,062 --> 01:45:17,662 -I don't know what you're talking about. -TLC references. 1854 01:45:17,762 --> 01:45:19,762 Still nothing. I swear to you. 1855 01:45:20,062 --> 01:45:25,362 I'm gonna go over and check on Terry. I got a bad knee. Hold on. There you go. 1856 01:45:25,462 --> 01:45:28,263 It was the king of the mutt cases, 1857 01:45:28,363 --> 01:45:31,463 but Allen and Tetty had wotked it like stats. 1858 01:45:34,363 --> 01:45:37,463 Within 24 houts of leatning about Etshon's scheme 1859 01:45:37,563 --> 01:45:39,663 and Lendl's massive losses, 1860 01:45:39,663 --> 01:45:42,463 the govetnment issued TARP funds to bail out Lendl. 1861 01:45:42,463 --> 01:45:47,064 Lendl is in everything, and we're gonna go everywhere... 1862 01:45:47,164 --> 01:45:48,464 They wete too big to fail. 1863 01:45:49,064 --> 01:45:54,164 Etshon now tesides in Palomino Fedetal Cottectional Facility in Flotida. 1864 01:45:54,264 --> 01:45:57,364 He still invests. Cuttency's just diffetent. 1865 01:45:58,464 --> 01:46:00,865 Roget Wesley was linked to the Beaman mutdet 1866 01:46:00,965 --> 01:46:04,765 by secutity cam footage which Mattin and Fosse hadn't checked. 1867 01:46:04,865 --> 01:46:06,665 It only showed the back of theit heads. 1868 01:46:06,765 --> 01:46:10,865 But Allen's Faceback app was able to get a match to theit faces. 1869 01:46:11,365 --> 01:46:13,165 Tetty mattied Ftancine. 1870 01:46:13,265 --> 01:46:16,265 He played hatp at the teception and it was beautiful. 1871 01:46:16,365 --> 01:46:17,865 He had leatned how to play it in the eighth gtade 1872 01:46:17,965 --> 01:46:21,366 to make fun of the faity that lived up the stteet. 1873 01:46:21,466 --> 01:46:24,966 Tetty asked Sheila to be his best man, but she declined. 1874 01:46:25,166 --> 01:46:29,466 Let's be honest, we all wanna be supetstats and hotshots. 1875 01:46:29,466 --> 01:46:30,766 But guess what? 1876 01:46:30,766 --> 01:46:34,266 The people that do the teal wotk, the ones that make the diffetence, 1877 01:46:34,566 --> 01:46:37,567 you don't see them on TV ot on the ftont page. 1878 01:46:38,267 --> 01:46:41,667 I'm talking about the day-in, day-outets, the gtindets. 1879 01:46:41,867 --> 01:46:44,967 Come on, man, you know who I'm talking about: the othet guys. 1880 01:46:45,067 --> 01:46:46,167 -See? That's a no-go. -Hey, hey. 1881 01:46:46,967 --> 01:46:48,967 You think you broke this Ershon case open? 1882 01:46:49,367 --> 01:46:50,567 You did nothing. 1883 01:46:50,967 --> 01:46:52,567 Corporate lobbyists are spending millions 1884 01:46:52,668 --> 01:46:54,968 to make sure guys like Ershon keep doing what they do. 1885 01:46:55,768 --> 01:46:56,768 Derek Jeter? 1886 01:46:58,168 --> 01:47:01,268 Yeah, it's me. You were set up that night you shot me, Terry. 1887 01:47:01,568 --> 01:47:04,368 -I told you! -They knew by putting someone like you 1888 01:47:04,468 --> 01:47:07,468 with a quick trigger finger next to that door where I do my pre-game walk, 1889 01:47:07,568 --> 01:47:09,969 it'd end up bad. Bad for both of us. 1890 01:47:10,569 --> 01:47:12,569 Now, I've been doing my own investigation on the banking industry, 1891 01:47:12,769 --> 01:47:14,769 and I was close. I was real close. 1892 01:47:15,269 --> 01:47:16,369 So I forgive you, Terry. 1893 01:47:16,969 --> 01:47:19,069 I appreciate that, man. I'm sorry about what happened. 1894 01:47:19,869 --> 01:47:20,769 I'm glad you're doing better. 1895 01:47:21,269 --> 01:47:23,569 The whole damn system is clogged up with dirty money. 1896 01:47:24,169 --> 01:47:27,470 And the news doesn't say a word about it. 'Cause who owns them? 1897 01:47:27,570 --> 01:47:30,070 The same corporations that own the government. 1898 01:47:30,670 --> 01:47:32,370 Courts and the law is all we have left. 1899 01:47:33,670 --> 01:47:35,070 So here's you guys' next case. 1900 01:47:36,270 --> 01:47:39,170 Guy by the name of Carl Bachand, CEO of Killister Bank. 1901 01:47:39,770 --> 01:47:43,570 He took three billion in TARP funds. He's crooked. He's real crooked. 1902 01:47:44,170 --> 01:47:48,771 Take him down, but be careful. He's got Blackwater mercenaries 24/7. 1903 01:47:49,771 --> 01:47:50,971 Thanks, Derek. 1904 01:47:52,271 --> 01:47:54,371 Hey, Derek! Wait! What if we need to get in touch with you, 1905 01:47:54,471 --> 01:47:56,871 get some more information or some tickets or something? 1906 01:47:57,571 --> 01:47:58,771 What just happened? 1907 01:48:01,571 --> 01:48:04,672 Goldman Sachs. This case is gonna be nasty. 1908 01:48:07,372 --> 01:48:09,072 Hi. Cute glasses. 1909 01:48:10,072 --> 01:48:11,972 -What was that? -What? 1910 01:48:12,072 --> 01:48:15,672 What? Dude, what is it with you and hot ladies? What's your secret? 1911 01:48:15,772 --> 01:48:18,472 Honestly, I have no idea what you're talking about. 1912 01:48:18,572 --> 01:48:20,573 Tell me who you lost your virginity to. 1913 01:48:20,673 --> 01:48:23,673 She actually became a TV actress. Heather Locklear. 1914 01:48:23,773 --> 01:48:25,473 Heather Locklear, what? 1915 01:48:25,573 --> 01:48:27,173 -You've heard of her? -Come on! 1916 01:48:27,273 --> 01:48:31,073 -She was much chubbier back then. -I don't get it. I really, I don't get it. 1917 01:53:31,991 --> 01:53:33,691 That was you. You don't have a sense of humor. 1918 01:53:33,791 --> 01:53:35,191 I do... I have a wonderful sense of humor. 1919 01:53:35,691 --> 01:53:37,291 If you say something funny, I'll laugh. 1920 01:53:37,391 --> 01:53:40,091 -All right, I'm gonna tell you a great joke. -Please. I love jokes. 1921 01:53:40,191 --> 01:53:42,791 All right. Little boy on his 13th birthday. 1922 01:53:44,191 --> 01:53:47,291 -It's time to get laid. -Already feels inappropriate. 1923 01:53:47,591 --> 01:53:49,392 So he goes to the lady at the whorehouse, he goes, "Miss, 1924 01:53:49,692 --> 01:53:52,892 "look, I know usually you want money, but I don't have any money and it's my birthday. 1925 01:53:53,292 --> 01:53:54,992 "Do you think I could have sex with you for this duck?" 1926 01:53:55,592 --> 01:53:57,692 -Was he a farmer? -No. 1927 01:53:57,992 --> 01:54:02,292 That's probably a Health Code violation, bringing a duck into a place of prostitution. 1928 01:54:02,692 --> 01:54:04,292 They weren't gonna have sex with the duck! 1929 01:54:04,492 --> 01:54:06,293 No, I just mean Health Code violation 1930 01:54:06,393 --> 01:54:09,993 to have the duck brought into a facility like that. 1931 01:54:11,493 --> 01:54:13,593 So, anyway, she says, "Yes, I'll do it." 1932 01:54:14,193 --> 01:54:16,593 So he goes in there, gives it to her. 1933 01:54:17,193 --> 01:54:20,293 -He gives her what? -The high, hard one! She loves it. 1934 01:54:20,593 --> 01:54:23,594 She goes, "You know what? If you do that again, I'll give you your duck back." 1935 01:54:23,994 --> 01:54:25,894 -It's like getting laid twice for free. -So... I'm sorry. 1936 01:54:25,994 --> 01:54:27,094 I'm so sorry. 1937 01:54:27,394 --> 01:54:31,294 -The duck is payment for sexual intercourse. -Yes. Yes. 1938 01:54:31,494 --> 01:54:32,694 -Very good. -He used the duck as payment, 1939 01:54:32,694 --> 01:54:34,294 and now he's being paid back the duck. 1940 01:54:34,794 --> 01:54:37,894 He goes, "Oh, my God, this is the greatest birthday ever." He does it again. 1941 01:54:38,194 --> 01:54:41,695 -Now he's walking home, right? Walking... -So she was satisfied with duck. 1942 01:54:41,995 --> 01:54:43,995 -With a duck as currency... -Yes. 1943 01:54:44,095 --> 01:54:46,595 ...to her. Great. Good. 1944 01:54:46,895 --> 01:54:50,595 So he's walking home, now he can't wait to get home to tell his father. Right? 1945 01:54:50,995 --> 01:54:53,195 He's walking down the street with the duck, and all of a sudden, voom, 1946 01:54:53,195 --> 01:54:54,595 truck comes by and runs over his duck. 1947 01:54:54,695 --> 01:54:56,095 -Kills the duck? -Killed the duck. 1948 01:54:56,195 --> 01:54:58,396 -So the duck is now dead. -The duck is dead. 1949 01:54:58,896 --> 01:55:02,196 The kid starts crying, truck driver stops, he's all upset, he didn't mean... 1950 01:55:02,296 --> 01:55:05,396 Of course he's crying! He's a 13-year-old boy who's just had sex, twice, 1951 01:55:05,596 --> 01:55:09,096 -and he watched his beloved duck die. -Will you shut up and let me tell the story? 1952 01:55:09,296 --> 01:55:11,196 So far, I don't know how this is ever gonna be funny. 1953 01:55:11,496 --> 01:55:13,896 The guy feels so bad about killing the duck, he gives him two dollars. 1954 01:55:14,297 --> 01:55:15,597 And the kid's happy with the two bucks? 1955 01:55:16,097 --> 01:55:19,597 He's ecstatic! He got laid twice, and now he's got two dollars on top of it. 1956 01:55:19,697 --> 01:55:22,097 Seems like a duck would be worth a lot more than two dollars. 1957 01:55:23,297 --> 01:55:24,797 This was a while back. You what I'm... 1958 01:55:25,197 --> 01:55:27,697 So he goes home, his dad goes, "What happened? What happened? 1959 01:55:27,797 --> 01:55:31,297 "Tell me! Tell me!" He goes, "Dad, I got a fuck for the duck, 1960 01:55:31,397 --> 01:55:32,898 "l got a duck for the fuck, 1961 01:55:32,998 --> 01:55:34,798 "and I got two bucks for a fucked-up duck!" 1962 01:55:37,898 --> 01:55:39,098 So it's like a limerick. 1963 01:55:40,298 --> 01:55:41,498 You didn't think that was funny? 1964 01:55:41,998 --> 01:55:43,898 I thought it was entertaining at the end, sure, 1965 01:55:44,598 --> 01:55:46,298 the way all the words were put together, 1966 01:55:46,398 --> 01:55:47,998 but in terms of content? 1967 01:55:49,599 --> 01:55:50,699 No. 1968 01:55:53,899 --> 01:55:57,499 Get the check-check from Shen-Shen. Let's get out of here. 1969 01:56:02,699 --> 01:56:06,900 Stop it. Stop it. Stop it. 1970 01:56:07,400 --> 01:56:08,400 And cut. 162376