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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:04,648 --> 00:00:07,825 [militaristic drum cadence] 2 00:00:07,912 --> 00:00:09,956 - Today nerds are cool, 3 00:00:09,957 --> 00:00:11,935 but in the '80s, we had a whole class 4 00:00:11,936 --> 00:00:15,047 dedicated to reminding us we weren't, gym. 5 00:00:15,048 --> 00:00:17,147 [groaning] 6 00:00:17,148 --> 00:00:19,778 - [sniff] I love the smell of torn underwear in the morning. 7 00:00:19,779 --> 00:00:24,147 - But misery loves company, and my company was Greg. 8 00:00:24,148 --> 00:00:26,017 I was lucky to have him, 9 00:00:26,018 --> 00:00:29,306 especially because it was the most miserable time of year, 10 00:00:29,307 --> 00:00:30,666 dodgeball week. 11 00:00:30,667 --> 00:00:32,960 [sighs] Are you ready for this? 12 00:00:32,961 --> 00:00:34,635 - Here. I have an extra. 13 00:00:34,636 --> 00:00:36,360 - I don't want your hand-me-down cup. 14 00:00:36,361 --> 00:00:38,564 - If you don't use one, you'll need some hand-me-down nuts. 15 00:00:38,565 --> 00:00:41,198 - Dodgeball was five days of state-sanctioned 16 00:00:41,199 --> 00:00:42,785 child warfare. 17 00:00:42,786 --> 00:00:44,076 It started in PE. 18 00:00:44,077 --> 00:00:45,457 [whistle blows] 19 00:00:45,458 --> 00:00:47,795 Ugh! [whistle blows] 20 00:00:47,796 --> 00:00:49,821 But it affected every class in school, 21 00:00:49,822 --> 00:00:53,372 social studies, science. 22 00:00:53,373 --> 00:00:55,388 We weren't even safe if we were right outside 23 00:00:55,389 --> 00:00:56,764 the principal's office. 24 00:00:56,765 --> 00:00:59,103 Ugh! Seriously? 25 00:00:59,104 --> 00:01:00,172 Huh? 26 00:01:00,173 --> 00:01:03,211 [mysterious music] 27 00:01:03,212 --> 00:01:04,884 ? ? 28 00:01:04,885 --> 00:01:06,743 - Thank you for being a friend. 29 00:01:06,744 --> 00:01:09,644 - Greg, I found a way for us to dodge dodgeball. 30 00:01:09,645 --> 00:01:11,408 - What is it? Seducing Principal Morello? 31 00:01:11,409 --> 00:01:12,875 You should do that. 32 00:01:12,876 --> 00:01:13,866 You know she likes her milk chocolate. 33 00:01:13,867 --> 00:01:15,251 - No, look. 34 00:01:15,252 --> 00:01:17,113 It says if students start a club 35 00:01:17,114 --> 00:01:19,885 based on physical activity, they're excused from gym class. 36 00:01:19,886 --> 00:01:21,041 We should start a club. 37 00:01:21,042 --> 00:01:22,644 - You're a friggin' genius! 38 00:01:22,645 --> 00:01:23,809 But we gotta do this soon. 39 00:01:23,810 --> 00:01:25,280 I'm running out of underwear. 40 00:01:25,281 --> 00:01:26,837 - And I'm down to my last pair. 41 00:01:26,838 --> 00:01:28,437 [gasps] 42 00:01:28,438 --> 00:01:29,994 And now they're ruined. 43 00:01:29,995 --> 00:01:32,945 [upbeat hip-hop music] 44 00:01:32,946 --> 00:01:34,971 - This rules. 45 00:01:34,972 --> 00:01:36,918 We'll finally have a place where we can chill and not have 46 00:01:36,919 --> 00:01:38,343 things flying at our heads. 47 00:01:38,344 --> 00:01:40,729 - That's why we have to fly under the radar. 48 00:01:40,730 --> 00:01:42,499 So let's pick an activity no one likes. 49 00:01:42,500 --> 00:01:43,577 Tennis? 50 00:01:43,578 --> 00:01:46,139 - No way. White people love tennis. 51 00:01:46,140 --> 00:01:47,996 It's the only sport we still dominate. 52 00:01:47,997 --> 00:01:49,597 - Not for long. 53 00:01:49,598 --> 00:01:51,765 - What about Jazzercise? 54 00:01:51,766 --> 00:01:55,105 - No, that'll attract girls, and girls attract bullies. 55 00:01:55,106 --> 00:01:57,786 But something dance-related could be good. 56 00:01:57,787 --> 00:01:59,427 What's a dance white people can't do? 57 00:01:59,428 --> 00:02:00,986 Every one of them. 58 00:02:00,987 --> 00:02:02,066 I got it! 59 00:02:02,067 --> 00:02:04,237 - A breakdancing club. 60 00:02:04,238 --> 00:02:06,708 What a fly idea! 61 00:02:06,709 --> 00:02:09,264 You b-boys be busting moves like in "Breakin' 2: 62 00:02:09,265 --> 00:02:10,646 Electric Boogaloo." 63 00:02:10,647 --> 00:02:12,512 - Right. 64 00:02:12,513 --> 00:02:15,638 - But darn, you need a third member to start any club, 65 00:02:15,639 --> 00:02:18,193 and unfortunately, no one else at Tattaglia can 66 00:02:18,194 --> 00:02:20,141 breaka-breaka-break it down. 67 00:02:20,142 --> 00:02:21,134 - No problem. 68 00:02:21,135 --> 00:02:22,523 I know a brother. 69 00:02:22,524 --> 00:02:24,085 Thanks for doing this, Drew. 70 00:02:24,086 --> 00:02:25,602 - Oh, I'm not doing this for you. 71 00:02:25,603 --> 00:02:27,425 I just love all the martial arts. 72 00:02:27,426 --> 00:02:28,898 - Breakdancing is a martial art? 73 00:02:28,899 --> 00:02:31,025 - The robot is all karate chops. 74 00:02:31,026 --> 00:02:33,369 [grunting] 75 00:02:33,370 --> 00:02:36,364 - I'm so excited you boys are bringing your urban flavor 76 00:02:36,365 --> 00:02:37,878 to our school. 77 00:02:37,879 --> 00:02:40,092 This is definitely going in the newsletter. 78 00:02:40,093 --> 00:02:42,610 - Wait, is that black mold on the walls? 79 00:02:42,611 --> 00:02:44,474 - I don't see color, Chris. 80 00:02:44,475 --> 00:02:46,515 I only see mold. 81 00:02:48,506 --> 00:02:51,421 - My sister Tonya had attitude and her own key, 82 00:02:51,422 --> 00:02:53,502 which to her seventh-grade girl gang 83 00:02:53,503 --> 00:02:55,803 meant she was grown and in charge. 84 00:02:55,804 --> 00:02:58,234 - Uh, algebra was pretty fun today. 85 00:02:58,235 --> 00:02:59,535 - Yeah, it kind of was. 86 00:02:59,536 --> 00:03:00,664 - No, it wasn't. 87 00:03:00,665 --> 00:03:02,227 - Yeah, I hate algebra. 88 00:03:02,228 --> 00:03:04,052 - Me too, always have. 89 00:03:04,053 --> 00:03:06,921 - But she was about to get booted by a belly button. 90 00:03:06,922 --> 00:03:08,569 - Damn, Sally. 91 00:03:08,570 --> 00:03:09,566 - Whoa. 92 00:03:09,567 --> 00:03:11,217 A crop top! 93 00:03:11,218 --> 00:03:13,086 - I got my mom to buy this for me. 94 00:03:13,087 --> 00:03:14,476 Can you believe it? 95 00:03:14,477 --> 00:03:16,257 - You're so lucky. 96 00:03:16,258 --> 00:03:20,214 Here I am, stuck in these little kid clothes. 97 00:03:20,215 --> 00:03:22,602 - Uh, aren't you cold in that? 98 00:03:22,603 --> 00:03:25,297 - Yeah, but I feel hot. 99 00:03:25,298 --> 00:03:27,730 [both giggling] 100 00:03:27,731 --> 00:03:29,858 - Huh, anyone seen my house key? 101 00:03:29,859 --> 00:03:30,988 Oh. 102 00:03:30,989 --> 00:03:32,466 [chuckles] Here it is. 103 00:03:32,467 --> 00:03:34,509 Gotta get home and let myself in. 104 00:03:34,510 --> 00:03:36,292 Come on. 105 00:03:36,293 --> 00:03:37,639 Aren't you coming? 106 00:03:37,640 --> 00:03:39,856 - Oh, I kind of want a calzone. 107 00:03:39,857 --> 00:03:41,292 - Oh, we'll keep you company! 108 00:03:41,378 --> 00:03:44,597 - Mind if I take a sip of your drink? 109 00:03:44,598 --> 00:03:45,726 [slurping] 110 00:03:45,812 --> 00:03:46,769 Ahh. 111 00:03:46,856 --> 00:03:47,770 [both slurping] 112 00:03:47,856 --> 00:03:49,249 both: Ahh. 113 00:03:49,335 --> 00:03:51,118 - There was a new queen bee, and Tonya 114 00:03:51,119 --> 00:03:52,815 was feeling the sting. 115 00:03:52,901 --> 00:03:56,382 - The usual, Julius, or something fancy today? 116 00:03:56,383 --> 00:03:57,860 - Fancy? 117 00:03:57,946 --> 00:03:59,644 Whatcha gonna do, paint an 8 on there 118 00:03:59,730 --> 00:04:01,384 and sink him in the corner pocket? 119 00:04:01,470 --> 00:04:03,123 [laughter] 120 00:04:03,209 --> 00:04:04,254 - Ha-ha. 121 00:04:04,341 --> 00:04:05,603 Just the usual, Manny. 122 00:04:05,689 --> 00:04:07,343 That's how my wife likes it. 123 00:04:07,430 --> 00:04:09,476 How does your wife like it, Mr. Omar? 124 00:04:09,562 --> 00:04:10,563 Oh, that's right. 125 00:04:10,650 --> 00:04:11,651 You don't got one. 126 00:04:11,737 --> 00:04:12,825 - Ooh. - Ohh. 127 00:04:12,912 --> 00:04:13,826 - You're right. 128 00:04:13,913 --> 00:04:15,044 I don't have a wife. 129 00:04:15,131 --> 00:04:16,481 I have my customers' wives. 130 00:04:16,568 --> 00:04:17,873 [laughs] 131 00:04:17,959 --> 00:04:20,179 - [whistles] Would you look at her? 132 00:04:20,266 --> 00:04:22,181 Yo, Monk, let me hold a dollar so I 133 00:04:22,268 --> 00:04:24,183 can get change and bounce four quarters off 134 00:04:24,270 --> 00:04:26,011 of that fine behind. 135 00:04:26,098 --> 00:04:28,056 - Look, Mr. Julius. 136 00:04:28,143 --> 00:04:31,538 - Yeah, she's got some, uh, debris in the caboose. 137 00:04:31,626 --> 00:04:34,455 - What in the name of high-waisted 138 00:04:34,542 --> 00:04:35,935 jeans are you talking about? 139 00:04:36,023 --> 00:04:37,372 - I don't know how to explain it. 140 00:04:37,459 --> 00:04:40,332 I kind of have butt blindness. 141 00:04:40,420 --> 00:04:42,422 - The hell you mean "butt blindness"? 142 00:04:42,510 --> 00:04:45,556 - I can see them, but they all look the same to me. 143 00:04:45,644 --> 00:04:47,994 I can't tell Grace Jones from Quincy Jones. 144 00:04:48,082 --> 00:04:50,171 [all gasp] 145 00:04:50,259 --> 00:04:53,785 - You're missing out on one of life's greatest pleasures. 146 00:04:53,874 --> 00:04:55,658 Tragic! 147 00:04:55,746 --> 00:04:57,966 - Well, I only got eyes for my wife anyway. 148 00:04:58,054 --> 00:05:00,970 - But you've never really seen her booty, have you? 149 00:05:01,059 --> 00:05:02,539 - Uh-- 150 00:05:02,627 --> 00:05:03,758 [romantic music] 151 00:05:03,846 --> 00:05:06,022 - You see anything you like, baby? 152 00:05:06,110 --> 00:05:07,111 - Damn, woman. 153 00:05:07,199 --> 00:05:10,594 Looking real lumpy today. 154 00:05:10,683 --> 00:05:12,424 - Lumpy? 155 00:05:12,513 --> 00:05:13,253 The only thing that's gonna have lumps around here 156 00:05:13,340 --> 00:05:14,602 is your head. - Ooh. 157 00:05:14,690 --> 00:05:15,778 - What? 158 00:05:15,866 --> 00:05:17,477 - Does she know? - You crazy. 159 00:05:17,566 --> 00:05:18,654 How can I tell my wife I haven't 160 00:05:18,741 --> 00:05:20,003 ever really seen her ass? 161 00:05:20,092 --> 00:05:22,050 - From behind bulletproof glass. 162 00:05:22,138 --> 00:05:23,313 - We're gonna help you. 163 00:05:23,402 --> 00:05:25,404 - It's our duty as men. 164 00:05:25,493 --> 00:05:26,450 [frog ribbits] 165 00:05:29,283 --> 00:05:30,763 [bell rings] 166 00:05:30,851 --> 00:05:32,548 - All right, let's get the paperwork out of the way. 167 00:05:32,637 --> 00:05:36,336 Official name, Breakdancing Club. 168 00:05:36,427 --> 00:05:38,472 - What about The Dance Lads? 169 00:05:38,561 --> 00:05:39,736 - No. 170 00:05:39,824 --> 00:05:42,523 OK, president, me. 171 00:05:42,613 --> 00:05:44,266 - When did you become president? 172 00:05:44,355 --> 00:05:45,922 - This was all Chris's idea. 173 00:05:46,011 --> 00:05:47,360 - None of this matters. 174 00:05:47,449 --> 00:05:49,276 - Then as co-president, I agree. 175 00:05:49,365 --> 00:05:50,236 - [sighs] Fine. 176 00:05:50,324 --> 00:05:52,369 You can be co-president. 177 00:05:52,459 --> 00:05:53,547 And Drew can be VP. 178 00:05:53,635 --> 00:05:54,505 - Cool. 179 00:05:54,593 --> 00:05:56,552 - Oh, can I be treasurer, too? 180 00:05:56,641 --> 00:05:58,469 I want an extra picture in the yearbook. 181 00:05:58,558 --> 00:06:00,516 - I'm gonna go stretch. 182 00:06:00,606 --> 00:06:03,000 - Wait, are we actually gonna learn how to breakdance? 183 00:06:03,089 --> 00:06:06,353 - No, it's quiet, and if I fall asleep, no one's gonna write 184 00:06:06,444 --> 00:06:08,141 "King Kong" on my forehead. 185 00:06:08,230 --> 00:06:09,797 So I'm gonna take a nap. 186 00:06:09,885 --> 00:06:12,540 - Well, then, what am I gonna do? 187 00:06:12,630 --> 00:06:15,241 - [yawns] You're the treasurer, so treasure 188 00:06:15,331 --> 00:06:19,074 the time you spend not having stuff thrown at your head. 189 00:06:19,165 --> 00:06:22,255 - [snoring] 190 00:06:22,346 --> 00:06:24,348 [car horns honking] 191 00:06:24,437 --> 00:06:26,178 - Thanks for taking me shopping, Mama. 192 00:06:26,267 --> 00:06:27,747 - Of course, baby. 193 00:06:27,835 --> 00:06:29,533 None of my kids gonna look raggedy. 194 00:06:29,622 --> 00:06:31,275 What do you need? New socks? 195 00:06:31,364 --> 00:06:32,365 Barrettes? 196 00:06:32,453 --> 00:06:34,325 Something else inexpensive? 197 00:06:34,414 --> 00:06:37,504 - Just something a little more seventh grade, you know? 198 00:06:37,594 --> 00:06:39,248 - Aw, what about this? 199 00:06:39,337 --> 00:06:40,773 It's so cute. 200 00:06:40,862 --> 00:06:44,083 - I was thinking something more like this. 201 00:06:44,173 --> 00:06:46,436 - The rest of that shirt better still be on the rack. 202 00:06:46,525 --> 00:06:47,918 - It's a crop top, Mama. 203 00:06:48,006 --> 00:06:49,660 - Why on Earth do you want me to pay 204 00:06:49,749 --> 00:06:51,141 full price for half a shirt? 205 00:06:51,229 --> 00:06:52,187 - I don't know. 206 00:06:52,275 --> 00:06:53,319 My friend has one. 207 00:06:53,407 --> 00:06:55,279 It's just in, OK? 208 00:06:55,368 --> 00:06:58,153 - Let's find something in that doesn't have your stomach out. 209 00:06:58,243 --> 00:07:01,420 - [groans] I just want to look more grown. 210 00:07:01,509 --> 00:07:03,947 - What's wrong with looking your age? 211 00:07:04,036 --> 00:07:05,907 - What's wrong with looking more grown? 212 00:07:05,996 --> 00:07:07,389 I shouldn't be walking around my school 213 00:07:07,477 --> 00:07:08,478 looking like a stripper. 214 00:07:08,566 --> 00:07:10,960 - Mm, that felt personal. 215 00:07:11,049 --> 00:07:13,747 All I wanna do is play dress-up with you, 216 00:07:13,836 --> 00:07:16,056 and you out here trying to be a nun. 217 00:07:16,144 --> 00:07:17,711 - Ohh. 218 00:07:17,799 --> 00:07:19,539 - Sweetie, I'm your mom, and I really 219 00:07:19,629 --> 00:07:22,457 think you should stick with stuff like this for now, OK? 220 00:07:24,985 --> 00:07:25,942 - OK. 221 00:07:26,029 --> 00:07:27,117 You're right, Mama. 222 00:07:27,205 --> 00:07:29,338 [knock at door] 223 00:07:29,426 --> 00:07:31,341 Please help me. 224 00:07:31,429 --> 00:07:33,866 - [snoring] 225 00:07:33,954 --> 00:07:35,564 [gasps] 226 00:07:35,653 --> 00:07:36,349 Were you gonna write on my forehead? 227 00:07:36,436 --> 00:07:38,133 - No. Maybe. 228 00:07:38,221 --> 00:07:39,135 I don't know. 229 00:07:39,222 --> 00:07:40,223 I'm bored. 230 00:07:40,311 --> 00:07:41,791 Hey, I have an idea. 231 00:07:41,878 --> 00:07:43,750 Motion to invite girls to the club. 232 00:07:43,838 --> 00:07:46,057 - Greg, I like girls, too. 233 00:07:46,145 --> 00:07:47,669 Everyone likes girls. 234 00:07:47,756 --> 00:07:50,280 But everyone includes bullies, and bullies 235 00:07:50,367 --> 00:07:53,152 will give us wedgies in front of the girls. 236 00:07:53,240 --> 00:07:54,372 Is that what you want? 237 00:07:54,459 --> 00:07:55,286 - Maybe we should vote on it. 238 00:07:55,373 --> 00:07:56,330 - Greg, no! 239 00:07:56,417 --> 00:07:57,375 Absolutely not! 240 00:07:57,463 --> 00:07:59,030 - Yeah, this is Chris's club. 241 00:07:59,117 --> 00:07:59,987 - OK, fine. 242 00:08:00,074 --> 00:08:01,249 No girls. 243 00:08:01,336 --> 00:08:02,642 [both gasp] 244 00:08:02,729 --> 00:08:04,122 - You look hot upside down. 245 00:08:04,209 --> 00:08:05,384 - Augh! 246 00:08:05,471 --> 00:08:07,647 - Whoa, what's this? 247 00:08:07,734 --> 00:08:10,389 Some guests of the female persuasion? 248 00:08:10,476 --> 00:08:11,607 Ladies, come in. 249 00:08:11,695 --> 00:08:13,305 - What the hell, man? 250 00:08:13,391 --> 00:08:15,262 - It's just two girls from my chemistry class. 251 00:08:15,349 --> 00:08:16,916 Don't worry. 252 00:08:17,003 --> 00:08:19,614 Ladies, welcome to my club. 253 00:08:19,701 --> 00:08:21,572 Ugh, filled out a ton of paperwork. 254 00:08:21,659 --> 00:08:23,182 So tiring. 255 00:08:23,269 --> 00:08:25,532 Do you mind if I rest my carpal tunnels? 256 00:08:25,618 --> 00:08:27,098 - He's taking advantage of you. 257 00:08:27,184 --> 00:08:28,272 - No, he's not. 258 00:08:28,359 --> 00:08:29,709 - I'm here for Greg's club. 259 00:08:32,972 --> 00:08:34,538 - This is a little conservative, 260 00:08:34,624 --> 00:08:35,930 but this will look cute on you. 261 00:08:36,016 --> 00:08:37,452 - [gasps] You'd let me have that? 262 00:08:37,539 --> 00:08:39,454 - Um, I'll let you borrow it. 263 00:08:39,540 --> 00:08:41,020 Stand up. 264 00:08:41,106 --> 00:08:41,803 Yes! 265 00:08:41,890 --> 00:08:43,369 You see that, Tasha? 266 00:08:43,455 --> 00:08:46,023 This is how you make your mommy proud of you. 267 00:08:46,109 --> 00:08:48,763 - I made principal's list for the 50th week in a row. 268 00:08:48,764 --> 00:08:50,590 - And I've been on parole for 48 weeks, 269 00:08:50,676 --> 00:08:51,895 but you don't see me bragging. 270 00:08:51,981 --> 00:08:53,939 Let me see your face, girl. 271 00:08:54,025 --> 00:08:56,418 You got pretty eyes, Tonya. 272 00:08:56,419 --> 00:08:57,505 - Really? - Mm. 273 00:08:57,592 --> 00:08:59,072 We gotta use them. 274 00:08:59,158 --> 00:09:04,379 Get you back on top with your little girl gang. 275 00:09:04,380 --> 00:09:06,377 Now hold up the top with it. 276 00:09:06,378 --> 00:09:07,769 Mm-hmm. 277 00:09:07,855 --> 00:09:09,291 We do that, maybe some earrings. 278 00:09:09,377 --> 00:09:10,422 Ooh-hoo-hoo-hoo! 279 00:09:10,508 --> 00:09:12,336 Check yourself out! 280 00:09:12,422 --> 00:09:18,209 - Damn, I look grown enough to buy a lottery ticket. 281 00:09:18,210 --> 00:09:19,728 [bell rings] 282 00:09:19,729 --> 00:09:21,032 - The next day, my brother looked forward 283 00:09:21,118 --> 00:09:22,728 to breaking while I looked forward 284 00:09:22,729 --> 00:09:23,858 to actually taking a break. 285 00:09:23,944 --> 00:09:27,947 [indistinct chatter] 286 00:09:27,948 --> 00:09:29,511 Damn it. 287 00:09:29,597 --> 00:09:32,120 But Greg had turned our club into da club. 288 00:09:32,121 --> 00:09:33,163 - "Damn it"? 289 00:09:33,249 --> 00:09:34,206 That's it? 290 00:09:34,292 --> 00:09:35,467 Even your bully is here. 291 00:09:35,553 --> 00:09:36,684 Be more mad. - Why? 292 00:09:36,685 --> 00:09:38,380 It's just Greg being Greg. 293 00:09:38,466 --> 00:09:39,684 - Well, Greg is selfish. 294 00:09:39,685 --> 00:09:41,162 Isn't he always like this? 295 00:09:41,163 --> 00:09:42,728 - Uh-- 296 00:09:44,596 --> 00:09:46,990 - Thanks, homey. 297 00:09:49,899 --> 00:09:51,377 - At least it's two against one. 298 00:09:51,378 --> 00:09:52,682 Ugh! 299 00:09:54,463 --> 00:09:55,376 - Hi, Chris. 300 00:09:55,377 --> 00:09:57,420 What's going on? 301 00:09:57,421 --> 00:09:59,333 - Chris pooped his pants yesterday, but my underwear? 302 00:09:59,334 --> 00:10:01,419 Bone dry. 303 00:10:01,420 --> 00:10:03,114 Eh, it's a numbers game. 304 00:10:03,115 --> 00:10:04,983 - Chris, he is not a good friend. 305 00:10:04,984 --> 00:10:06,723 You need to stand up for yourself. 306 00:10:08,632 --> 00:10:10,024 - Ha-ha-ha-ha! 307 00:10:10,025 --> 00:10:12,895 - Greg, this is supposed to be our thing. 308 00:10:12,896 --> 00:10:14,632 Get these people out of here. 309 00:10:14,718 --> 00:10:16,414 - No, I want girls here. 310 00:10:16,415 --> 00:10:17,760 - Nice club, Chris. 311 00:10:17,761 --> 00:10:19,107 Here's my membership fee. 312 00:10:19,108 --> 00:10:20,846 [together] Ooh! - Ow! 313 00:10:20,847 --> 00:10:22,063 See? 314 00:10:22,064 --> 00:10:23,932 I told you girls would bring bullies! 315 00:10:23,933 --> 00:10:25,757 We're supposed to look out for each other, 316 00:10:25,758 --> 00:10:26,929 but you only care about yourself. 317 00:10:26,930 --> 00:10:29,756 So as president, I say we vote you out. 318 00:10:29,757 --> 00:10:31,667 - As VP, I second. 319 00:10:31,668 --> 00:10:34,493 - Well, as co-president and treasurer, I get two votes, 320 00:10:34,494 --> 00:10:35,882 and I vote I stay. 321 00:10:35,883 --> 00:10:38,359 - He thinks his vote is twice mine? 322 00:10:38,360 --> 00:10:40,967 That's even worse than the Three-Fifths Compromise. 323 00:10:40,968 --> 00:10:43,052 [together] Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight! 324 00:10:43,053 --> 00:10:45,094 - That's not how we solve things. 325 00:10:45,095 --> 00:10:47,397 I came to check on you guys, and it looks 326 00:10:47,398 --> 00:10:49,178 like I arrived just in time. 327 00:10:49,179 --> 00:10:52,004 There's only one way to resolve this-- 328 00:10:52,005 --> 00:10:54,523 a breakdance battle here, tomorrow. 329 00:10:54,524 --> 00:10:55,564 - Seriously? 330 00:10:55,650 --> 00:10:57,259 That's the only way? 331 00:10:57,260 --> 00:10:58,170 - It's the only way I can make sure I have 332 00:10:58,171 --> 00:10:59,910 my good camera to take pictures. 333 00:11:01,950 --> 00:11:04,821 [funky music] 334 00:11:04,822 --> 00:11:07,731 ? ? 335 00:11:07,732 --> 00:11:10,598 - [chuckling] Hey. 336 00:11:10,599 --> 00:11:11,986 - Whoa. - Damn, Tonya. 337 00:11:11,987 --> 00:11:14,987 - [giggles] What? 338 00:11:16,807 --> 00:11:18,895 - [sighs] What'll it be? 339 00:11:18,896 --> 00:11:21,546 - I'm trying to piss off my boss enough to get severance. 340 00:11:21,547 --> 00:11:23,543 What's your nastiest flavor? 341 00:11:23,544 --> 00:11:26,803 - The Chitlin' Juice glazed. 342 00:11:26,804 --> 00:11:28,190 I should just stop making it. 343 00:11:28,191 --> 00:11:29,231 - Gross. 344 00:11:29,232 --> 00:11:32,015 Give me a dozen. 345 00:11:32,016 --> 00:11:36,100 [gasps] Oh, hell no! 346 00:11:36,101 --> 00:11:38,268 - You think my crop top is too short, 347 00:11:38,269 --> 00:11:41,789 or is it cool my house key pokes out from under it? 348 00:11:41,790 --> 00:11:44,219 [dramatic music] 349 00:11:44,220 --> 00:11:45,607 Ah! 350 00:11:45,608 --> 00:11:47,171 Mama, what are you doing? 351 00:11:47,172 --> 00:11:50,301 - You think you grown now, huh? 352 00:11:50,302 --> 00:11:51,949 Let's go. 353 00:11:51,950 --> 00:11:53,252 I'm gonna beat the pepperoni out your behind. 354 00:11:53,253 --> 00:11:55,773 [laughter] 355 00:11:55,774 --> 00:11:57,770 [funky music] 356 00:11:57,771 --> 00:11:59,768 - Let's start with an easy one. 357 00:11:59,769 --> 00:12:02,375 Pretend this is a small butt. 358 00:12:02,376 --> 00:12:05,546 How would you describe its shape? 359 00:12:05,547 --> 00:12:07,150 - Ooh, ooh, ooh, pineapple! 360 00:12:07,151 --> 00:12:10,672 ? ? 361 00:12:10,673 --> 00:12:11,797 That's Vanessa Williams. Nope. 362 00:12:11,798 --> 00:12:13,056 Janet Jackson. 363 00:12:13,057 --> 00:12:14,098 Nope. 364 00:12:14,099 --> 00:12:16,358 Bob Newhart. 365 00:12:16,359 --> 00:12:19,488 - Maybe you just need glasses to see them asses. 366 00:12:19,489 --> 00:12:22,092 Now, which one is Kill Moves? 367 00:12:22,093 --> 00:12:24,828 - Uh, it's a trick question. 368 00:12:24,829 --> 00:12:26,563 They're both Kill Moves. 369 00:12:26,564 --> 00:12:30,520 - Damn, you're not just butt blind, you're bum blind. 370 00:12:30,521 --> 00:12:31,730 - None of this is working. 371 00:12:31,731 --> 00:12:33,990 It's like I'm not even a Black man. 372 00:12:33,991 --> 00:12:36,292 - You just spent seven hours at a barbershop. 373 00:12:36,293 --> 00:12:37,680 You Black. 374 00:12:37,681 --> 00:12:40,462 - Still, tough break, Mr. Julius. 375 00:12:40,463 --> 00:12:42,371 - But hey, thanks for reminding us not to take booties 376 00:12:42,372 --> 00:12:43,977 for granted. 377 00:12:43,978 --> 00:12:45,801 - The next time I see a big beautiful behind, 378 00:12:45,802 --> 00:12:48,017 I'm gonna tell it how much I love it. 379 00:12:48,018 --> 00:12:49,666 - 20 minutes later, he got arrested 380 00:12:49,667 --> 00:12:51,840 for harassing a police horse. 381 00:12:54,571 --> 00:12:56,528 - Peaches, open the damn door! 382 00:12:56,529 --> 00:12:59,308 - My mom hadn't been this mad at Peaches 383 00:12:59,309 --> 00:13:02,784 since, well, the last time she interacted with Peaches. 384 00:13:02,785 --> 00:13:05,649 - Don't make me get my battering ram! 385 00:13:05,650 --> 00:13:06,948 Oh, hi, baby. 386 00:13:06,949 --> 00:13:08,120 Is your mommy home? 387 00:13:08,121 --> 00:13:09,118 - I'm right here. 388 00:13:09,119 --> 00:13:10,814 Go watch TV. 389 00:13:10,815 --> 00:13:12,115 - I need to prepare for bible study. 390 00:13:12,116 --> 00:13:14,114 - You're gonna study for a study? 391 00:13:14,115 --> 00:13:16,286 Oh, my god. 392 00:13:16,287 --> 00:13:18,240 Sometimes, I swear, I wonder if she's even my daughter. 393 00:13:18,241 --> 00:13:19,933 Then I remember how she wrecked my-- 394 00:13:19,934 --> 00:13:22,366 - Peaches, did you dress up my daughter 395 00:13:22,367 --> 00:13:24,145 in your hoochie clothes? 396 00:13:24,146 --> 00:13:27,536 - Yeah, I bought all these fly clothes for Tasha, 397 00:13:27,537 --> 00:13:29,442 and she won't wear them. 398 00:13:29,443 --> 00:13:30,570 I'm sorry, Rochelle. 399 00:13:30,571 --> 00:13:32,527 I was just trying to have some fun. 400 00:13:32,528 --> 00:13:35,655 - You can't do whatever you want just because it's fun. 401 00:13:35,656 --> 00:13:38,129 - Damn, you sound like my mom. 402 00:13:38,130 --> 00:13:39,820 - Oh, please. 403 00:13:39,821 --> 00:13:42,559 - My mom was so strict, never let me wear what I wanted, 404 00:13:42,560 --> 00:13:45,337 embarrassed me in front of all my friends, but I showed her. 405 00:13:45,338 --> 00:13:47,769 The day I turned 18, I got out the house 406 00:13:47,770 --> 00:13:50,244 and did whatever I wanted, partying, 407 00:13:50,245 --> 00:13:51,936 drinking, messing around. 408 00:13:51,937 --> 00:13:53,194 Well, except after Tasha was born. 409 00:13:53,195 --> 00:13:54,497 I couldn't hook up with anybody for months. 410 00:13:54,498 --> 00:13:56,452 My downstairs was a mess. 411 00:13:56,453 --> 00:13:57,667 - Thank you, Peaches. 412 00:13:57,668 --> 00:14:00,188 - You're welcome. 413 00:14:00,189 --> 00:14:02,619 Wait, for what? 414 00:14:02,620 --> 00:14:05,399 - I didn't know how to breakdance, but luckily, 415 00:14:05,400 --> 00:14:06,743 neither did Greg. 416 00:14:06,744 --> 00:14:09,264 - Give him a Bed-Stuy beatdown! 417 00:14:09,265 --> 00:14:11,956 But don't beat him so badly he ends up racist forever. 418 00:14:11,957 --> 00:14:13,474 - This should be over quickly. 419 00:14:13,475 --> 00:14:15,341 - All righty, b-boys. 420 00:14:15,342 --> 00:14:19,297 Whichever one of you can get the crowd most hyped wins. 421 00:14:19,298 --> 00:14:21,290 Chris, you go first. 422 00:14:21,291 --> 00:14:23,419 [funky music] 423 00:14:23,420 --> 00:14:28,898 - [grunting] 424 00:14:28,899 --> 00:14:29,887 OK. 425 00:14:29,888 --> 00:14:31,103 Mm. 426 00:14:31,104 --> 00:14:32,188 Ahh! 427 00:14:32,189 --> 00:14:35,494 [cheers and applause] 428 00:14:35,495 --> 00:14:39,316 - That was terrible, but I bet Greg will be even worse. 429 00:14:39,317 --> 00:14:42,398 [funky music] - My turn. 430 00:14:42,399 --> 00:14:43,045 [together] Oh! Ooh! 431 00:14:43,131 --> 00:14:49,136 - [grunting] 432 00:14:49,137 --> 00:14:50,559 [chuckles] 433 00:14:50,560 --> 00:14:53,385 [together] Ohh! Damn! 434 00:14:53,386 --> 00:14:55,989 - How did his white ass learn to do all that? 435 00:14:55,990 --> 00:14:57,986 - White people had a secret tool 436 00:14:57,987 --> 00:15:01,203 to learn how to breakdance, Alfonso Ribeiro. 437 00:15:01,204 --> 00:15:05,243 ? ? 438 00:15:05,244 --> 00:15:07,889 - Now watch this, suckas. 439 00:15:07,890 --> 00:15:09,320 Ah! Ow. 440 00:15:09,321 --> 00:15:10,318 Ow. 441 00:15:10,404 --> 00:15:12,013 My neck. 442 00:15:12,014 --> 00:15:13,925 Oh, god, I think I swallowed my Adam's apple. 443 00:15:13,926 --> 00:15:15,226 [together] Boo! 444 00:15:15,227 --> 00:15:17,008 - Ow! - Uh-oh. 445 00:15:17,009 --> 00:15:18,135 This feels lawsuit-y. 446 00:15:18,136 --> 00:15:20,092 Uh, the club is canceled. 447 00:15:20,093 --> 00:15:23,047 Everyone, back to regular gym. 448 00:15:23,048 --> 00:15:24,173 - Ugh! 449 00:15:24,174 --> 00:15:26,260 - I'll go warm up my dodgeball arm. 450 00:15:26,261 --> 00:15:29,128 - If something happens, can I have your baseball cards? 451 00:15:29,129 --> 00:15:30,603 - [groans] 452 00:15:33,771 --> 00:15:34,815 - If you're gonna whup me again, 453 00:15:34,816 --> 00:15:36,596 can you wait until I finish my algebra? 454 00:15:36,597 --> 00:15:38,639 It's hard to solve for Y when all I can think about 455 00:15:38,640 --> 00:15:40,332 is why my butt stings. 456 00:15:40,333 --> 00:15:42,286 - I'm not gonna whup you, but help 457 00:15:42,287 --> 00:15:46,113 me understand, why is dressing all grown so important to you? 458 00:15:46,114 --> 00:15:47,803 - Remember my friend Sally? 459 00:15:47,804 --> 00:15:49,628 She got a crop top, and now everyone's 460 00:15:49,629 --> 00:15:50,929 paying more attention to her. 461 00:15:50,930 --> 00:15:52,625 I just feel kicked to the curb. 462 00:15:52,626 --> 00:15:55,233 - I guess me bugging out like I did at the pizza 463 00:15:55,234 --> 00:15:56,664 parlor didn't help. 464 00:15:56,665 --> 00:15:58,228 - Yeah. 465 00:15:58,229 --> 00:16:00,314 - [sighs] When I saw you wearing those clothes, 466 00:16:00,315 --> 00:16:03,182 I was mad as hell, but I was more upset that you 467 00:16:03,183 --> 00:16:04,570 went to Peaches because you felt 468 00:16:04,571 --> 00:16:06,177 like you couldn't talk to me. 469 00:16:06,178 --> 00:16:07,828 I don't want you to become like Peaches. 470 00:16:07,829 --> 00:16:09,262 - I don't wanna be Peaches! 471 00:16:09,348 --> 00:16:10,739 - Oh, thank god. 472 00:16:10,740 --> 00:16:13,086 - I mean, Peaches has some cute outfits, 473 00:16:13,087 --> 00:16:16,999 but sometimes she be looking crazy. 474 00:16:17,000 --> 00:16:18,733 - So what do you want? 475 00:16:18,734 --> 00:16:21,167 - I guess I just want my friends to still respect me. 476 00:16:21,168 --> 00:16:22,817 But I also wanna wear what I want. 477 00:16:22,818 --> 00:16:25,164 But that crop top made my belly feel cold. 478 00:16:25,165 --> 00:16:26,988 I don't know what to do. 479 00:16:26,989 --> 00:16:28,552 - Well, I'm glad you came to me. 480 00:16:28,553 --> 00:16:30,638 - Uh, you came in here. 481 00:16:30,639 --> 00:16:32,550 - Tonya, do you want me to fix this or not? 482 00:16:32,551 --> 00:16:33,722 - Yes, fine, yes. 483 00:16:33,723 --> 00:16:35,679 - OK. 484 00:16:35,680 --> 00:16:37,331 Well, here's what you're gonna say to your little friends. 485 00:16:44,236 --> 00:16:46,803 - You know, you should really eat something before dodgeball. 486 00:16:46,804 --> 00:16:48,932 - No, it's better to get hit on an empty stomach. 487 00:16:48,933 --> 00:16:50,626 - Are you sure? 488 00:16:50,627 --> 00:16:51,972 You got no muscle, so you should have a little fat 489 00:16:51,973 --> 00:16:53,189 to absorb the blows. 490 00:16:53,190 --> 00:16:54,754 - [sighs] 491 00:16:54,755 --> 00:16:56,058 - Isn't it better to not have to deal 492 00:16:56,145 --> 00:16:57,451 with that selfish clown? 493 00:16:57,538 --> 00:16:59,148 - Yeah, I guess. 494 00:16:59,235 --> 00:17:01,194 - You're better off without him. 495 00:17:01,281 --> 00:17:03,936 Now you can get real good at "Solitaire" or, like, thinking. 496 00:17:07,026 --> 00:17:07,940 - Hey, Jerome. 497 00:17:08,027 --> 00:17:09,245 What are you doing here? 498 00:17:09,333 --> 00:17:10,725 - It just didn't sit right with me 499 00:17:10,812 --> 00:17:12,336 to give up on you like that, brother. 500 00:17:12,423 --> 00:17:13,772 There's something blocking you. 501 00:17:13,859 --> 00:17:15,208 We need to go deeper. 502 00:17:15,295 --> 00:17:16,644 Are you down for some hypnosis? 503 00:17:16,731 --> 00:17:18,646 - You know how to do hypnosis? 504 00:17:18,733 --> 00:17:19,995 - I took a course. 505 00:17:20,082 --> 00:17:21,257 You don't think I got aspirations? 506 00:17:21,345 --> 00:17:22,824 Damn. 507 00:17:22,911 --> 00:17:24,826 - At this point, what have I got to lose? 508 00:17:24,913 --> 00:17:25,914 - OK. 509 00:17:26,001 --> 00:17:28,482 Now follow the watch. 510 00:17:28,569 --> 00:17:29,918 - Hey, that's my watch! 511 00:17:30,005 --> 00:17:31,267 - You wanna be fixed or not? 512 00:17:31,355 --> 00:17:33,269 Now follow the watch. 513 00:17:33,357 --> 00:17:36,490 Follow the watch. 514 00:17:36,577 --> 00:17:39,101 [mystical music] 515 00:17:39,188 --> 00:17:42,931 [organ music] 516 00:17:43,018 --> 00:17:45,325 - Sweet baby Jesus! 517 00:17:45,412 --> 00:17:46,892 - What are you looking at, son? - What? 518 00:17:46,979 --> 00:17:48,502 - You wanna go to hell? 519 00:17:48,589 --> 00:17:50,722 You're breaking one of the Ten Commandments! 520 00:17:50,809 --> 00:17:54,813 Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor's backside! 521 00:17:54,900 --> 00:17:55,944 - [groans] 522 00:17:56,031 --> 00:17:57,598 - That's it! 523 00:17:57,685 --> 00:18:00,471 My dad scared the love of butts out of me! 524 00:18:00,558 --> 00:18:01,907 What do I do? 525 00:18:01,994 --> 00:18:03,299 - I'll just hypnotize that out of you. 526 00:18:03,387 --> 00:18:05,258 Follow the watch. 527 00:18:05,345 --> 00:18:07,826 Follow the watch. 528 00:18:07,913 --> 00:18:10,959 You were once blind, but now you can see. 529 00:18:11,046 --> 00:18:14,659 Butts, bottoms, tushies, booties, 530 00:18:14,746 --> 00:18:19,490 derrieres, dat ass. 531 00:18:19,577 --> 00:18:21,361 All right, moment of truth. 532 00:18:21,448 --> 00:18:22,841 Whose butt is this? 533 00:18:22,928 --> 00:18:25,887 - [gasps] Pam Grier. 534 00:18:25,974 --> 00:18:28,499 And that one is different than that one. 535 00:18:28,586 --> 00:18:30,588 I can see Pam Grier's butt! 536 00:18:30,675 --> 00:18:31,589 - Yo, keep it down! 537 00:18:31,676 --> 00:18:33,199 Your wife might hear you. 538 00:18:33,286 --> 00:18:34,461 - My wife? 539 00:18:34,548 --> 00:18:37,116 Baby, I'm coming for your ass! 540 00:18:40,336 --> 00:18:41,294 [all slurping] 541 00:18:41,381 --> 00:18:43,122 - Hey. - Oh. 542 00:18:43,209 --> 00:18:45,167 Hey, Tonya. 543 00:18:45,254 --> 00:18:47,779 - That was pretty crazy the other day with your mom. 544 00:18:47,866 --> 00:18:51,304 - [snorts, coughs] Sorry, it's not funny. 545 00:18:51,391 --> 00:18:53,001 - Nah, it's all right. 546 00:18:53,088 --> 00:18:54,699 Y'all haven't seen her, have you? 547 00:18:54,786 --> 00:18:55,917 - Your mom? 548 00:18:56,004 --> 00:18:56,918 No. 549 00:18:57,005 --> 00:18:58,050 Why? 550 00:18:58,137 --> 00:19:00,226 [gasps] Here she comes. 551 00:19:03,229 --> 00:19:05,405 Why is she following you? 552 00:19:05,492 --> 00:19:07,842 - She got me on a tight watch because last night, 553 00:19:07,929 --> 00:19:09,801 I called her a bitch. 554 00:19:09,888 --> 00:19:11,280 - [gasps] - Whoa. 555 00:19:11,367 --> 00:19:12,238 - Dang, Tonya. 556 00:19:12,325 --> 00:19:13,761 You're bad. 557 00:19:13,848 --> 00:19:15,284 - Mind if I take a sip of your soda? 558 00:19:15,371 --> 00:19:18,244 [funky music] 559 00:19:18,331 --> 00:19:22,901 ? ? 560 00:19:22,988 --> 00:19:25,207 Thank you. 561 00:19:25,294 --> 00:19:28,472 - [sighs] My girl is back on top. 562 00:19:28,559 --> 00:19:30,082 Damn, I'm a good mother. 563 00:19:30,169 --> 00:19:31,083 - Ooh-whee! 564 00:19:31,170 --> 00:19:32,476 Look at that ass! 565 00:19:32,563 --> 00:19:34,129 - You catcalling mother-- 566 00:19:34,216 --> 00:19:36,480 Julius, what are you doing? 567 00:19:36,567 --> 00:19:39,483 And why do you have that goofy grin on your face? 568 00:19:39,570 --> 00:19:43,008 - I'm seeing things I've never seen before. 569 00:19:43,095 --> 00:19:44,705 You're just so fine. 570 00:19:44,792 --> 00:19:46,968 - OK, Julius, calm down. 571 00:19:47,055 --> 00:19:49,405 Let's get you home. 572 00:19:49,493 --> 00:19:52,408 [sultry music] 573 00:19:52,496 --> 00:19:55,847 - It's so beautiful. 574 00:19:55,934 --> 00:19:57,805 [militaristic drum cadence] 575 00:19:57,892 --> 00:20:00,939 - With Greg injured, I was on my own. 576 00:20:01,026 --> 00:20:04,420 - [grunting] Damn it, forgot my cup. 577 00:20:04,508 --> 00:20:07,554 - Do you want me to destroy your left nut or right nut? 578 00:20:07,641 --> 00:20:09,077 - Left. 579 00:20:09,164 --> 00:20:10,165 Oh! 580 00:20:10,252 --> 00:20:13,821 - It's only lightly used. 581 00:20:13,908 --> 00:20:14,866 - Ow. 582 00:20:14,953 --> 00:20:17,216 - [groans] 583 00:20:17,303 --> 00:20:20,001 - I realized Greg wasn't the best friend, 584 00:20:20,088 --> 00:20:22,351 but he was a friend. 585 00:20:22,438 --> 00:20:25,616 And for now, that was good enough. 586 00:20:25,703 --> 00:20:28,227 - By the way, I, uh, got this for you 587 00:20:28,314 --> 00:20:30,969 since I know you couldn't eat before dodgeball. 588 00:20:31,056 --> 00:20:32,100 both: Can't play on a full stomach. 589 00:20:32,187 --> 00:20:33,449 - [chuckles] 590 00:20:33,537 --> 00:20:35,234 - I'm sorry for ruining our club. 591 00:20:35,321 --> 00:20:37,366 I'll try to be a better friend. 592 00:20:37,453 --> 00:20:38,411 - Thanks, Greg. 593 00:20:38,498 --> 00:20:40,369 [gasps, groans] 594 00:20:40,456 --> 00:20:42,763 - Starting tomorrow, I'll be a better friend. 595 00:20:42,850 --> 00:20:47,028 singers: ? Everybody still hates Chris ? 596 00:20:47,115 --> 00:20:49,857 [vocalizing] 597 00:20:53,252 --> 00:20:55,646 - Sally, come back here, young lady. 598 00:20:55,733 --> 00:20:57,125 - Tina, you OK? 599 00:20:57,212 --> 00:20:58,823 - Sally just called me a bitch. 600 00:20:58,910 --> 00:21:02,000 Where is she picking this stuff up? 601 00:21:02,087 --> 00:21:04,524 [funky music] 602 00:21:34,423 --> 00:21:36,251 - ? MTV ? 603 00:21:36,301 --> 00:21:40,851 Repair and Synchronization by Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0 40618

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