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1
00:00:45,580 --> 00:00:50,959
Morning, Mr Endleby.
2
00:00:50,960 --> 00:00:54,479
How you do you do?
Morning.
3
00:00:54,480 --> 00:00:57,639
Good morning.
These are for you.
4
00:00:57,640 --> 00:00:59,919
Good morning.
5
00:00:59,920 --> 00:01:01,799
Morning.
6
00:01:01,800 --> 00:01:04,860
Come
on, we're gonna be late.
7
00:01:11,120 --> 00:01:12,560
KNOCK AT DOOR
8
00:01:14,000 --> 00:01:16,000
I'll get it.
DOG PANTS
9
00:01:17,661 --> 00:01:22,719
Morning.
Parcel for you, Mr Carmody.
10
00:01:22,720 --> 00:01:25,490
Thank you so much.
Bye.
11
00:01:27,560 --> 00:01:29,360
DOG BARKS
12
00:01:29,400 --> 00:01:31,120
PARCEL RATTLES
13
00:01:31,160 --> 00:01:33,520
Well, well, Hamish,
what have we got here?
14
00:01:33,560 --> 00:01:35,520
Bet you can smell it, can't you?
15
00:01:35,521 --> 00:01:39,519
What is this, then?
Yeesh, it's porridge!
16
00:01:39,520 --> 00:01:41,879
That's nice.
Can you guess what this is?
17
00:01:41,880 --> 00:01:43,639
A-ha! Droppings!
18
00:01:43,640 --> 00:01:45,079
In the post?
19
00:01:45,080 --> 00:01:47,439
Ah, it's our new
preventative measures.
20
00:01:47,440 --> 00:01:48,639
Modern, isn't it?
21
00:01:48,640 --> 00:01:50,239
Yes,
Carmody thought of it.
22
00:01:50,240 --> 00:01:53,640
We test for conditions
before animals develop symptoms.
23
00:01:53,680 --> 00:01:55,240
Notice anything?
24
00:01:55,280 --> 00:01:57,140
Oi!
25
00:01:57,141 --> 00:02:01,519
Well, the size of pellets.
.. pygmy goat?
26
00:02:01,520 --> 00:02:03,919
On the Grantley Estate.
It's quite the menagerie up there.
27
00:02:03,920 --> 00:02:05,919
Might quickly pop these
under the microscope.
28
00:02:05,920 --> 00:02:07,159
Oh, I'll join you.
29
00:02:07,160 --> 00:02:09,519
Oh, Mr Farnon,
I were about to serve breakfast.
30
00:02:09,520 --> 00:02:12,279
Oh,
this won't take a moment.
31
00:02:12,280 --> 00:02:13,359
Oh, I'll have his.
32
00:02:13,360 --> 00:02:16,550
Ugh. Bloomin' cold.
SHE SNIFFS
33
00:02:16,551 --> 00:02:19,679
Hmm...
Bad news, is it?
34
00:02:19,680 --> 00:02:22,679
Worms?
Plenty of eggs in here.
35
00:02:22,680 --> 00:02:24,280
Roundworm, I'd say.
36
00:02:24,281 --> 00:02:29,599
Hmm.
We're low on piperazine.
37
00:02:29,600 --> 00:02:31,959
New stock arrived yesterday.
Ah.
38
00:02:31,960 --> 00:02:33,840
Yes, the infestation is advanced.
39
00:02:33,841 --> 00:02:36,239
We'd better get up
to the Grantley place pronto,
40
00:02:36,240 --> 00:02:37,079
before
it gets out of hand.
41
00:02:37,080 --> 00:02:39,639
Thankfully, we're onto it
before they've exhibited symptoms.
42
00:02:39,640 --> 00:02:42,679
Yes, bravo! AUDREY, CALLING:
On t'table!
43
00:02:42,680 --> 00:02:45,319
We can see if that new worming
gun delivers as expected.
44
00:02:45,320 --> 00:02:46,370
Let's hope!
45
00:02:46,371 --> 00:02:49,319
Morning!
Morning.
46
00:02:49,320 --> 00:02:53,879
Blimey, James,
you look the worse for wear.
47
00:02:53,880 --> 00:02:56,999
HELEN:Enjoy your lie-in?
Tristan took me drinking last night.
48
00:02:57,000 --> 00:02:58,239
In Ilkley.
49
00:02:58,240 --> 00:03:02,319
Oh, that den of iniquity. Feeling
wretched, are we? Aye.
50
00:03:02,320 --> 00:03:05,199
Aw, did you have a fun
night at the pub?
51
00:03:05,200 --> 00:03:07,960
You
poor, poor man (!)
52
00:03:07,961 --> 00:03:11,679
Need to mend this. Today.
Absolutely, I'll see to it.
53
00:03:11,680 --> 00:03:14,439
But first... SING-
SONG:..sustenance.
54
00:03:14,440 --> 00:03:17,119
Sustenance!
JAMES SNORTS
55
00:03:17,120 --> 00:03:18,440
JIMMY GURGLES,
LAUGHS
56
00:03:20,080 --> 00:03:22,760
JIMMY BABBLES,
HE CHUCKLES
57
00:03:25,121 --> 00:03:30,159
First,
this, I reckon.
58
00:03:30,160 --> 00:03:32,639
Mrs
H, you're a godsend.
59
00:03:32,640 --> 00:03:34,639
I'm down for morning surgery,
aren't I?
60
00:03:34,640 --> 00:03:36,319
Oh, don't fret.
Enjoy your breakfast.
61
00:03:36,320 --> 00:03:39,810
You have.
.. nine minutes. JAMES GROANS
62
00:03:39,811 --> 00:03:44,239
Legendary night, old chap.
Set the bar high.
63
00:03:44,240 --> 00:03:46,599
Can we beat it tonight?
Goddammit, we'll try.
64
00:03:46,600 --> 00:03:48,959
Tonight? Yeah,
drinks with the Otley cricket eleven.
65
00:03:48,960 --> 00:03:51,319
Hoping
they'll let me play a game.
66
00:03:51,320 --> 00:03:53,679
I'm not hearing hesitation there,
am I, co-pilot?
67
00:03:53,680 --> 00:03:55,599
This is vital work
for the war effort.
68
00:03:55,600 --> 00:03:59,519
I expect my brain will be re-
assembled by this evening. Good.
69
00:03:59,520 --> 00:04:01,879
Didn't you have a lecture
to prepare? Mm.
70
00:04:01,880 --> 00:04:04,639
A lecture?
In Doncaster tomorrow.
71
00:04:04,640 --> 00:04:06,999
Getting the recruits ready
for the North African front.
72
00:04:07,000 --> 00:04:08,719
Just adding some final
touches today.
73
00:04:08,720 --> 00:04:12,759
What's it on? Mule
hydration in desert conditions.
74
00:04:12,760 --> 00:04:15,399
Sounds a bit dry!
THEY CHUCKLE
75
00:04:15,400 --> 00:04:17,759
Thanks, I think
you've just given me my first line.
76
00:04:17,760 --> 00:04:19,079
I thought
you were finishing it off.
77
00:04:19,080 --> 00:04:20,679
Oh, don't worry.
It's all up here.
78
00:04:20,680 --> 00:04:23,279
Just a case of letting it flow
out onto the page.
79
00:04:23,280 --> 00:04:26,079
You're popular this morning,
Mr Carmody.
80
00:04:26,080 --> 00:04:28,359
Don't
keep us in suspense.
81
00:04:28,360 --> 00:04:30,279
What type of poo did you
get this time?
82
00:04:30,280 --> 00:04:32,860
Mm. Looks official.
83
00:04:33,640 --> 00:04:35,880
Royal Veterinary College.
84
00:04:35,920 --> 00:04:42,170
B-But that's your exam results.
Chop, chop, man, open it!
85
00:04:50,680 --> 00:04:52,600
And?
86
00:04:52,601 --> 00:04:54,919
Says here I got a distinction.
87
00:04:54,920 --> 00:04:56,399
Oh, Richard!
Oh!
88
00:04:56,400 --> 00:04:58,440
Bravo!
89
00:04:58,441 --> 00:05:01,519
Apparently, the outstanding
distinction in the year.
90
00:05:01,520 --> 00:05:04,279
Well done, old chap!
Well done, Mr Carmody.
91
00:05:04,280 --> 00:05:05,479
That's incredible.
92
00:05:05,480 --> 00:05:08,119
I never thought I'd see the day
someone bested ME at exams.
93
00:05:08,120 --> 00:05:09,360
THEY CHUCKLE
94
00:05:09,361 --> 00:05:12,759
That is tremendous news!
Might I see?
95
00:05:12,760 --> 00:05:15,680
Thank you.
I think I need to take a moment.
96
00:05:15,681 --> 00:05:22,559
The second he's centre of attention,
the boy runs a mile.
97
00:05:22,560 --> 00:05:25,679
Wonder what his plans are now.
He's qualified.
98
00:05:25,680 --> 00:05:28,439
If we're keeping him here, we'll
have to formally offer him a job.
99
00:05:28,440 --> 00:05:33,799
Well, we couldn't do any better.
I take it you've no objection?
100
00:05:33,800 --> 00:05:36,279
Aye,
he just about passes muster.
101
00:05:36,280 --> 00:05:38,799
It's a pleasure working
alongside him.
102
00:05:38,800 --> 00:05:41,679
Finally, a scientific brain
and veterinary intelligence
103
00:05:41,680 --> 00:05:43,359
that matches my own.
104
00:05:43,360 --> 00:05:45,159
Oh,
don't mind me, Siegfried.
105
00:05:45,160 --> 00:05:46,719
DOORBELL RINGS
Don't mind me.
106
00:05:46,720 --> 00:05:48,700
Door!
107
00:05:50,400 --> 00:05:53,290
BELL RINGS AGAIN
Door!
108
00:05:55,120 --> 00:05:57,340
Bye, Jimmy.
109
00:05:57,341 --> 00:06:02,279
WOMAN:Mr
Carmody, isn't it? CARMODY: Mm.
110
00:06:02,280 --> 00:06:06,159
You fixed up Candy, didn't
you? Jenny's horse.
111
00:06:06,160 --> 00:06:08,400
Yes.. I...
112
00:06:08,440 --> 00:06:10,200
Richard.
113
00:06:10,240 --> 00:06:11,880
Yes. The horse.
114
00:06:13,080 --> 00:06:14,240
Candy is a horse.
115
00:06:16,680 --> 00:06:19,140
Lovely morning.
116
00:06:19,400 --> 00:06:24,760
I like the sun, erm...
and the blue, blue sky.
117
00:06:24,761 --> 00:06:29,159
Important factors
that make up the lovely morning,
118
00:06:29,160 --> 00:06:30,599
you're
not wrong there.
119
00:06:30,600 --> 00:06:36,370
Please, erm, Mr Herriot
will see you in a moment.
120
00:06:36,371 --> 00:06:44,359
Take a seat, Doris,
be with you shortly.
121
00:06:44,360 --> 00:06:45,999
Goodness.
122
00:06:46,000 --> 00:06:48,640
What are you doing?
123
00:06:50,240 --> 00:06:52,480
SQUEAKING
124
00:06:52,481 --> 00:06:58,159
That land girl, her name escapes me.
I'm surprised you'd forget.
125
00:06:58,160 --> 00:06:59,800
Such a beautiful, musical name.
126
00:06:59,840 --> 00:07:02,190
Doris.
Quite.
127
00:07:02,200 --> 00:07:05,000
When she's near,
I exhibit certain symptoms.
128
00:07:05,040 --> 00:07:07,680
My heart rate goes up.
My pupils dilate.
129
00:07:07,720 --> 00:07:09,520
Mr Farnon, my diagnosis
130
00:07:09,521 --> 00:07:11,919
is that I'm developing
romantic feelings for Doris.
131
00:07:11,920 --> 00:07:14,199
That
would also be my diagnosis.
132
00:07:14,200 --> 00:07:15,580
It may surprise you to know,
133
00:07:15,600 --> 00:07:18,430
but I haven't had a great deal
of experience in this area.
134
00:07:18,431 --> 00:07:21,759
That is surprising.
So I badly need some advice.
135
00:07:21,760 --> 00:07:24,759
Lucky Tristan's on hand. You
could always ask me.
136
00:07:24,760 --> 00:07:27,919
I happen to be an expert
in affairs of the heart.
137
00:07:27,920 --> 00:07:29,560
Really?
138
00:07:29,561 --> 00:07:31,319
It's just, I've been here 18 months,
139
00:07:31,320 --> 00:07:33,119
I don't think I've once seen you
with a woman.
140
00:07:33,120 --> 00:07:34,880
ENGINE STARTS
141
00:07:34,920 --> 00:07:38,340
Well,
only because there's a war on.
142
00:07:38,341 --> 00:07:42,959
Richard, you can trust me on this
one, I know what I'm talking about.
143
00:07:42,960 --> 00:07:44,640
Very kind offer.
144
00:07:44,680 --> 00:07:47,810
And if Tristan omits anything,
I'll be sure to pick up with you.
145
00:07:55,221 --> 00:08:00,359
Magnificent animal.
146
00:08:00,360 --> 00:08:03,839
Gah, what have you been feeding him?
David's not even my biggest.
147
00:08:03,840 --> 00:08:06,119
Got yourself
a Goliath, have you?
148
00:08:06,120 --> 00:08:09,240
THEY LAUGH
Happen I have!
149
00:08:09,241 --> 00:08:11,239
Our
new rat catchers.
150
00:08:11,240 --> 00:08:13,599
Danby's got me training
eight of them now.
151
00:08:13,600 --> 00:08:15,959
Looks like they enjoy
the taste of fingers.
152
00:08:15,960 --> 00:08:18,799
Haven't got the measure of them yet.
Mm.
153
00:08:18,800 --> 00:08:19,999
Is it bad?
154
00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:21,799
I reckon
he must have snagged himself
155
00:08:21,800 --> 00:08:24,679
on
a piece of wire or summat.
156
00:08:24,680 --> 00:08:29,239
It were your first ratting,
weren't it, David?
157
00:08:29,240 --> 00:08:31,919
It's
fairly deep, unfortunately.
158
00:08:31,920 --> 00:08:35,319
Is he healthy otherwise?
Seems to be.
159
00:08:35,320 --> 00:08:39,199
I'll remove any dirt and debris,
then we'll operate.
160
00:08:39,200 --> 00:08:41,919
Operate?
Is he gonna be all right?
161
00:08:41,920 --> 00:08:44,679
Oh, yes, it's
a simple enough procedure.
162
00:08:44,680 --> 00:08:46,439
Though,
I will have to sedate him.
163
00:08:46,440 --> 00:08:48,119
I'll
do it after morning surgery.
164
00:08:48,120 --> 00:08:51,839
But... Mr Danby expects me back.
You're to leave him here.
165
00:08:51,840 --> 00:08:54,359
Pick him
up later in the afternoon?
166
00:08:54,360 --> 00:08:56,700
Right you are.
167
00:08:56,821 --> 00:08:59,719
Oh!
168
00:08:59,720 --> 00:09:01,480
RATTLE JINGLES,
JIMMY GIGGLES
169
00:09:01,520 --> 00:09:04,800
Yes! You got it.
Oh, Doris.
170
00:09:04,840 --> 00:09:09,120
Mrs Herriot.
Hello there, you.
171
00:09:09,121 --> 00:09:12,599
Ooh, what happened to you?
Oh, one of my new ferrets.
172
00:09:12,600 --> 00:09:15,879
He's in for an operation.
Oh, James'll see him right.
173
00:09:15,880 --> 00:09:20,319
Well, Mr Danby doesn't like
to be kept waiting. Ta-ta!
174
00:09:20,320 --> 00:09:22,759
Our Jenny mentioned you
were having a few snags with Danby.
175
00:09:22,760 --> 00:09:25,400
Oh... no. No, he...
176
00:09:26,680 --> 00:09:29,840
Well.
.. he's not the easiest.
177
00:09:29,841 --> 00:09:34,039
Shall we fix this up?
Have a brew while we're at it.
178
00:09:34,040 --> 00:09:39,030
Thanks, Mrs Herriot.
It's Helen.
179
00:09:41,720 --> 00:09:43,480
HE SIGHS
180
00:09:48,680 --> 00:09:50,480
Hm.
181
00:10:01,320 --> 00:10:04,080
What?
Helps me think.
182
00:10:04,120 --> 00:10:05,600
DOG WHINES
183
00:10:08,840 --> 00:10:11,000
All right.
184
00:10:11,001 --> 00:10:14,999
I'm curious
about something. Please.
185
00:10:15,000 --> 00:10:17,399
I was under the impression
that receiving
186
00:10:17,400 --> 00:10:20,839
the outstanding distinction
in your year
187
00:10:20,840 --> 00:10:24,239
put one in line
for the Warners Prize.
188
00:10:24,240 --> 00:10:26,350
Oh?
Yes...
189
00:10:26,351 --> 00:10:31,759
..a research programme
at Imperial London.
190
00:10:31,760 --> 00:10:35,060
So,
has that been discontinued?
191
00:10:35,840 --> 00:10:38,760
Actually... it's not discontinued.
192
00:10:40,240 --> 00:10:41,320
They offered it to me.
193
00:10:43,000 --> 00:10:45,240
BRAKES SQUEAL
194
00:10:45,241 --> 00:10:48,159
You got it?
But that's splendid!
195
00:10:48,160 --> 00:10:50,039
What
an incredible honour!
196
00:10:50,040 --> 00:10:51,559
But that must've been
in your letter,
197
00:10:51,560 --> 00:10:54,759
why on Earth would you keep
it under your hat?
198
00:10:54,760 --> 00:10:55,810
Because...
199
00:10:55,811 --> 00:10:58,759
..much as I'd love
to spend my time researching,
200
00:10:58,760 --> 00:10:59,799
I can't possibly accept.
201
00:10:59,800 --> 00:11:01,599
Why not?
202
00:11:01,600 --> 00:11:03,920
I've heard soldiers' stories
first-hand.
203
00:11:03,960 --> 00:11:06,600
I'm not fighting.
At least I should be serving.
204
00:11:06,640 --> 00:11:08,600
Vets are vital to the war effort.
205
00:11:08,601 --> 00:11:11,199
Me off having a jolly in a lab
while everyone else is suffering?
206
00:11:11,200 --> 00:11:13,239
No, I'd feel like some kind of libertine.
Well...
207
00:11:13,240 --> 00:11:16,399
In fact, now I'm qualified, I rather
hoped I might stay on at Skeldale.
208
00:11:16,400 --> 00:11:20,799
You're saying you're turning down
the Warners to stay here?
209
00:11:20,800 --> 00:11:23,719
Of course, when the war's won, you
may wish for a new veterinary team,
210
00:11:23,720 --> 00:11:24,759
that's understood.
211
00:11:24,760 --> 00:11:26,599
Richard, you're in.
212
00:11:26,600 --> 00:11:29,780
There's
nothing I'd like more.
213
00:11:33,200 --> 00:11:35,000
ENGINE STARTS
214
00:11:50,800 --> 00:11:53,920
WOMAN, DISTANT:I'm
in here!
215
00:11:53,921 --> 00:11:59,199
CARMODY: Miss Grantley.
Mr Carmody.
216
00:11:59,200 --> 00:12:01,080
How are those goats of yours faring?
217
00:12:01,081 --> 00:12:04,279
Well, they're...
they're in fine spirits, I'd say.
218
00:12:04,280 --> 00:12:07,319
I was surprised by your call.
What's so urgent?
219
00:12:07,320 --> 00:12:08,599
Roundworm.
Oh.
220
00:12:08,600 --> 00:12:11,199
Don't worry - thanks
to our new postal pellet system,
221
00:12:11,200 --> 00:12:13,559
we were onto it before your herd
suffer any consequences.
222
00:12:13,560 --> 00:12:15,959
Oh, that's marvellous.
Thank you. No, thank you.
223
00:12:15,960 --> 00:12:18,839
Believe it or not, you're the only
client who agreed to post me faeces.
224
00:12:18,840 --> 00:12:20,240
SHE CHUCKLES
AWKWARDLY
225
00:12:20,280 --> 00:12:21,880
This is Mr Farnon.
226
00:12:23,240 --> 00:12:25,160
THEY LAUGH
227
00:12:25,161 --> 00:12:27,159
Catherine Grantley.
Siegfried Farnon.
228
00:12:27,160 --> 00:12:28,559
BOTH:How do you do?
229
00:12:28,560 --> 00:12:31,599
I was up here before
for your brother's beagles.
230
00:12:31,600 --> 00:12:35,799
He mentioned you lived abroad.
Persia.
231
00:12:35,800 --> 00:12:37,799
The
war took him to London,
232
00:12:37,800 --> 00:12:40,639
so I'm taking care of the estate
while he's gone.
233
00:12:40,640 --> 00:12:42,639
Right, follow me.
234
00:12:42,640 --> 00:12:46,730
Biyayid, biyayid!
Yalla, yalla! DOGS BARKING
235
00:12:46,731 --> 00:12:51,999
I thought it was the brother
who was looking after the estate.
236
00:12:52,000 --> 00:12:54,519
Why didn't you tell me it was
the sister who was running things?
237
00:12:54,520 --> 00:12:56,479
Brother, sister,
what difference does it make?
238
00:12:56,480 --> 00:12:58,239
Well, it's just
highly unprofessional
239
00:12:58,240 --> 00:12:59,919
not to
give me the full information.
240
00:12:59,920 --> 00:13:00,970
Is it?
241
00:13:03,200 --> 00:13:05,160
BLEATING
242
00:13:08,251 --> 00:13:18,919
He just can't see past the fact I'm
a girl who grew up in the big city.
243
00:13:18,920 --> 00:13:20,599
Sounds
like Danby, all right.
244
00:13:20,600 --> 00:13:22,599
DORIS SIGHS The
old man's set in his ways.
245
00:13:22,600 --> 00:13:26,359
You mustn't take it to heart.
I'm not scared of farm work,
246
00:13:26,360 --> 00:13:29,599
but when I ask Mr Danby for advice,
the man just grunts.
247
00:13:29,600 --> 00:13:33,399
I'm forever sprinting to Heston
to ask Jenny.
248
00:13:33,400 --> 00:13:36,599
Luckily, I know how to interpret
the Danby grunts.
249
00:13:36,600 --> 00:13:38,479
Turns
out there's only three kinds.
250
00:13:38,480 --> 00:13:41,959
There's one like this.
.. EXASPERATED GROAN
251
00:13:41,960 --> 00:13:45,199
That means, "Stop,
stop, you're doing it wrong."
252
00:13:45,200 --> 00:13:47,759
GROWLING GROAN "Work
faster, will you?"
253
00:13:47,760 --> 00:13:51,360
Number three...
GUTTURAL GROWL
254
00:13:51,361 --> 00:13:54,159
"Carry on while
I have an afternoon nap."
255
00:13:54,160 --> 00:13:56,439
Sometimes,
till dinner time.
256
00:13:56,440 --> 00:13:58,799
Well, I know you don't mind
a bit of graft.
257
00:13:58,800 --> 00:14:00,399
I do not.
258
00:14:00,400 --> 00:14:01,959
You
know, there's plenty folk,
259
00:14:01,960 --> 00:14:04,559
you throw 'em in at the deep end
like that, they'd just drown.
260
00:14:04,560 --> 00:14:07,519
Still, it wouldn't hurt Danby
to give Doris clear instructions.
261
00:14:07,520 --> 00:14:08,720
JIMMY SQUEALS
262
00:14:08,760 --> 00:14:10,560
Oh...
263
00:14:10,561 --> 00:14:13,519
And that means,
"I need my nappy changing."
264
00:14:13,520 --> 00:14:15,380
Oh!
265
00:14:17,840 --> 00:14:19,280
HORNS BEEPING
266
00:14:19,320 --> 00:14:22,320
Watch
where you're going!
267
00:14:23,080 --> 00:14:24,880
BEEPING
268
00:14:35,760 --> 00:14:38,000
KNOCK AT DOOR
269
00:14:38,040 --> 00:14:39,920
KNOCKING CONTINUES
270
00:14:43,200 --> 00:14:45,440
Mrs Hall, we have a situation.
271
00:14:48,680 --> 00:14:50,560
DOG BARKS
272
00:14:50,561 --> 00:14:54,159
A situation?
273
00:14:54,160 --> 00:14:57,360
Summat dropped on Mr Hampson's
top field last night.
274
00:14:57,400 --> 00:14:59,870
THROUGH GRITTED TEETH:
An unidentified object.
275
00:14:59,871 --> 00:15:03,599
Sorry,
do you mean a bomb? Shh!
276
00:15:03,600 --> 00:15:04,760
DOG BARKS
277
00:15:04,761 --> 00:15:08,279
Someone hears us, panic will spread
through Darrowby like wildfire.
278
00:15:08,280 --> 00:15:11,950
Careless talk costs lives.
But if it's a...
279
00:15:11,951 --> 00:15:15,199
Shouldn't
we call in the Home Guard?
280
00:15:15,200 --> 00:15:16,800
No, that's just it.
281
00:15:16,840 --> 00:15:20,280
Protocol demands that we wardens
make the initial assessment.
282
00:15:20,320 --> 00:15:23,000
In fact, I was halfway there
when I remembered -
283
00:15:23,040 --> 00:15:25,440
section 15,
rule 5B of the handbook,
284
00:15:25,480 --> 00:15:30,200
"Two wardens must be present
to confirm any sighting."
285
00:15:30,201 --> 00:15:33,719
SHE SIGHS
I'll grab my coat.
286
00:15:33,720 --> 00:15:37,000
Mrs Hall, think, think, think.
It's official business.
287
00:15:37,040 --> 00:15:39,360
A uniform is mandatory.
288
00:15:39,361 --> 00:15:42,119
Shouldn't we just get there
as fast as possible?
289
00:15:42,120 --> 00:15:45,120
Why
don't I grab my helmet?
290
00:15:45,121 --> 00:15:48,759
Well, then, I...
suppose I'll change.
291
00:15:48,760 --> 00:15:50,760
Yes. I'll be outside.
292
00:15:50,800 --> 00:15:53,120
Luckily,
I managed to commandeer a vehicle.
293
00:15:53,160 --> 00:15:55,800
'Ey up, Mr Bosworth.
294
00:15:55,801 --> 00:16:00,439
Doris from up Mr Danby's.
You wanted me to paint all his cows.
295
00:16:00,440 --> 00:16:02,359
It stuck in my memory,
for some reason.
296
00:16:02,360 --> 00:16:04,760
Ah, yes, I remember.
297
00:16:04,800 --> 00:16:10,390
And where's
that lovely dog of yours today?
298
00:16:10,391 --> 00:16:14,079
I'm afraid dear Bingo has departed this world.
Oh!
299
00:16:14,080 --> 00:16:16,479
Oh,
I'm so sorry to hear that.
300
00:16:16,480 --> 00:16:17,760
Mrs Hall, I'll be outside.
301
00:16:18,351 --> 00:16:20,719
DOG BARKS,
DUCK QUACKS
302
00:16:20,720 --> 00:16:23,079
Bless him.
Poor man took it hard.
303
00:16:23,080 --> 00:16:25,439
Though he did drive us
half-mad that day,
304
00:16:25,440 --> 00:16:27,359
acting
like a bit of paint on cows
305
00:16:27,360 --> 00:16:29,719
was gonna make Mr Hitler
turn his tanks round.
306
00:16:29,720 --> 00:16:32,559
Oh, well.
See, silver linings -
307
00:16:32,560 --> 00:16:34,839
all
your employer does is grunt.
308
00:16:34,840 --> 00:16:36,600
DORIS LAUGHS
309
00:16:36,640 --> 00:16:39,040
Small mercies.
310
00:16:42,461 --> 00:16:46,719
There
you are, all done.
311
00:16:46,720 --> 00:16:48,519
Looks like you chaps
are making progress.
312
00:16:48,520 --> 00:16:51,479
Indeed we are, and our new
worming gun is working a treat.
313
00:16:51,480 --> 00:16:53,460
Oh, er...
314
00:16:53,461 --> 00:16:56,719
You know, I'm intrigued,
why Persia?
315
00:16:56,720 --> 00:16:58,439
Miss
Grantley's an archaeologist.
316
00:16:58,440 --> 00:17:02,960
Yes, I lived there
for, well, over 20 years or more.
317
00:17:02,961 --> 00:17:05,359
But unfortunately,
Iran's Shah is rather taken
318
00:17:05,360 --> 00:17:07,719
with our Nazi opponents,
so I had to stop digging.
319
00:17:07,720 --> 00:17:11,280
Yeah. The war demands sacrifices
from us all.
320
00:17:11,281 --> 00:17:14,879
Yes...
Yes, it does.
321
00:17:14,880 --> 00:17:16,679
Well,
that about does it.
322
00:17:16,680 --> 00:17:18,559
Only the two little ones
under the tree.
323
00:17:18,560 --> 00:17:21,520
SHE LAUGHS KINDLY
Aw, these are my favourites.
324
00:17:21,521 --> 00:17:22,879
They're brothers, you know.
325
00:17:22,880 --> 00:17:26,879
Tanngrisnir and Tanngnjostr.
Oh, I'm honoured.
326
00:17:26,880 --> 00:17:29,359
The goats who pull Thor's
chariots, no less.
327
00:17:29,360 --> 00:17:30,799
You know your Norse mythology.
328
00:17:30,800 --> 00:17:33,630
A little.
THEY CHUCKLE
329
00:17:34,440 --> 00:17:35,880
Habibi.
330
00:17:35,881 --> 00:17:38,279
They're hyper-sensitive.
GOAT BLEATS
331
00:17:38,280 --> 00:17:39,719
Oh, oh. Skin
crawling, is it?
332
00:17:39,720 --> 00:17:42,719
Magnesium deficiency?
They're being supplemented.
333
00:17:42,720 --> 00:17:45,070
These two have been itching
something rotten.
334
00:17:45,071 --> 00:17:46,999
I've heard horror stories
about roundworm.
335
00:17:47,000 --> 00:17:50,039
Well, that's just it.
Roundworm wouldn't make them itch.
336
00:17:50,040 --> 00:17:51,440
GOAT BLEATS
Aw.
337
00:17:51,441 --> 00:17:52,679
So,
we have a co-morbidity.
338
00:17:52,680 --> 00:17:56,559
Two illnesses presenting
at the same time.
339
00:17:56,560 --> 00:17:58,279
It's
something of a mystery.
340
00:17:58,280 --> 00:17:59,599
Lice?
A mystery?
341
00:17:59,600 --> 00:18:02,199
Don't worry, we're not talking
the lost treasure of Darius.
342
00:18:02,200 --> 00:18:04,599
HE CHUCKLES We'll
soon have an answer for you.
343
00:18:04,600 --> 00:18:06,480
Khodafez, habibi.
344
00:18:10,821 --> 00:18:14,159
What?
345
00:18:14,160 --> 00:18:16,599
That's it.
Lice?
346
00:18:16,600 --> 00:18:18,840
No, you.
347
00:18:18,841 --> 00:18:21,279
Your
pupils are dilated.
348
00:18:21,280 --> 00:18:24,439
You were blushing,
mirroring her actions.
349
00:18:24,440 --> 00:18:27,039
You're attracted to Miss Grantley.
Oh, for God's sake!
350
00:18:27,040 --> 00:18:28,919
The
symptoms never lie.
351
00:18:28,920 --> 00:18:30,839
Yes, and
that's why you were annoyed
352
00:18:30,840 --> 00:18:32,599
I didn't mention
that the owner was female.
353
00:18:32,600 --> 00:18:34,559
You wished to prime your feathers
in readiness.
354
00:18:34,560 --> 00:18:37,620
Don't be absurd.
Give me that.
355
00:18:45,800 --> 00:18:48,440
All right, lad, here we go.
356
00:18:49,840 --> 00:18:52,800
Here we go. There you are.
There you are, lad.
357
00:18:52,801 --> 00:18:54,319
And
it's Hedley Verity.
358
00:18:54,320 --> 00:18:56,079
Hedley Verity
from the Kirkstall Lane End!
359
00:18:56,080 --> 00:18:58,440
TRISTAN LAUGHS
Tristan. What the...?!
360
00:18:58,441 --> 00:19:00,479
I thought you might
want a little interruption.
361
00:19:00,480 --> 00:19:04,479
No, I would not. Now I've lost the blasted ferret.
Oh.
362
00:19:04,480 --> 00:19:06,839
Shut the door, will you?
He'll end up hunting Vonolel.
363
00:19:06,840 --> 00:19:09,279
Bloody hell, James. Why didn't you
keep a firm hold of it, man?
364
00:19:09,280 --> 00:19:12,650
I'm busy! Perfectly
understand.
365
00:19:17,480 --> 00:19:20,240
Ah! That's it, lad.
That's it, that's it.
366
00:19:20,280 --> 00:19:22,840
There we are. There we go, lad.
367
00:19:22,841 --> 00:19:24,279
KNOCK ON WINDOW
James!
368
00:19:24,280 --> 00:19:26,690
I've set the stumps up
for when you are finished.
369
00:19:51,480 --> 00:19:53,480
Oh, goodness me.
370
00:19:53,520 --> 00:19:57,440
I specifically warned Mr Hampson
not to talk.
371
00:19:57,441 --> 00:20:00,759
Some folk hear
there might be a bomb,
372
00:20:00,760 --> 00:20:02,279
they
rush to get close.
373
00:20:02,280 --> 00:20:06,640
Mrs Hall, please, not the "B" word.
Remember, careless talk costs lives.
374
00:20:06,641 --> 00:20:09,039
Stand well back!
It's over there.
375
00:20:09,040 --> 00:20:11,560
Get out!
WHISTLE BLOWS
376
00:20:11,600 --> 00:20:13,840
The Head Warden is here.
377
00:20:13,880 --> 00:20:15,280
The Head Warden is in charge.
378
00:20:15,320 --> 00:20:18,440
I am in charge. I am in charge.
Move back.
379
00:20:18,480 --> 00:20:21,440
Move back. Move well back.
380
00:20:21,480 --> 00:20:23,360
Right.
381
00:20:23,400 --> 00:20:26,000
Argh, ruddy...
382
00:20:27,261 --> 00:20:30,999
There.
383
00:20:31,000 --> 00:20:33,359
Do you
see it? There's a trail.
384
00:20:33,360 --> 00:20:35,760
Yes, an impact trail.
385
00:20:35,761 --> 00:20:37,279
So we follow it.
386
00:20:37,280 --> 00:20:40,240
Proceed with extreme caution,
Mrs Hall.
387
00:20:40,241 --> 00:20:42,759
Mr Bosworth,
say we do find a bomb...
388
00:20:42,760 --> 00:20:43,810
HE STAMMERS
389
00:20:43,811 --> 00:20:45,519
In the event
of a positive assessment,
390
00:20:45,520 --> 00:20:46,960
we phone from Hampson's
391
00:20:47,000 --> 00:20:49,480
and report
to the District Report Centre.
392
00:20:52,640 --> 00:20:54,600
Stay alert, Mrs Hall.
393
00:20:54,640 --> 00:20:56,360
Proceed with caution.
394
00:21:00,640 --> 00:21:02,880
HE STRAINS
395
00:21:08,360 --> 00:21:09,920
DUCKS QUACK
Whoa!
396
00:21:11,680 --> 00:21:13,280
Bloody hell.
397
00:21:13,320 --> 00:21:15,640
HE PANTS
398
00:21:22,360 --> 00:21:24,880
Mrs Hall,
we only need to identify it.
399
00:21:24,920 --> 00:21:27,440
That's not a bomb.
400
00:21:27,441 --> 00:21:31,879
That's
a flight crate.
401
00:21:31,880 --> 00:21:33,040
No, don't.
402
00:21:33,080 --> 00:21:36,000
Don't. It... It might be munitions.
403
00:21:36,040 --> 00:21:37,480
We don't know what's inside.
404
00:21:37,481 --> 00:21:40,759
Well, we do actually.
SHE CHUCKLES
405
00:21:40,760 --> 00:21:43,280
Tinned potatoes.
406
00:21:44,640 --> 00:21:48,080
Powdered
eggs, flour,
407
00:21:48,081 --> 00:21:50,959
toothbrushes,
paste, soap.
408
00:21:50,960 --> 00:21:53,920
So someone could've landed here.
409
00:21:55,000 --> 00:21:56,800
Nazi spies.
410
00:21:56,801 --> 00:21:58,879
Well,
do Nazis use Pears soap?
411
00:21:58,880 --> 00:22:02,080
And
Gibbs SR Toothpaste?
412
00:22:02,081 --> 00:22:05,599
No. No, this will have come
from one of our planes.
413
00:22:05,600 --> 00:22:07,199
We'll probably find
they've had a call
414
00:22:07,200 --> 00:22:10,119
about another one
further down the road.
415
00:22:10,120 --> 00:22:12,399
Mr
Herriot says it's common.
416
00:22:12,400 --> 00:22:14,919
When fuel runs low,
they dump the excess weight.
417
00:22:14,920 --> 00:22:17,840
Mm, it's one possibility
amongst many.
418
00:22:17,880 --> 00:22:19,160
And since, Mrs Hall,
419
00:22:19,200 --> 00:22:22,480
you are not yourself
an expert on spies or bombs...
420
00:22:22,481 --> 00:22:24,479
Shh!
Careless talk...
421
00:22:24,480 --> 00:22:25,920
HE STAMMERS
422
00:22:25,960 --> 00:22:31,040
I would simply advise that you
resist jumping to conclusions.
423
00:22:31,080 --> 00:22:33,480
You may be risking innocent lives!
424
00:22:34,840 --> 00:22:36,520
SHE SIGHS
425
00:22:47,800 --> 00:22:50,320
So, it's not lice.
426
00:22:50,321 --> 00:22:53,519
Where
do we go from here?
427
00:22:53,520 --> 00:22:56,199
A damned
puzzle is what it is.
428
00:22:56,200 --> 00:22:57,879
Why
aren't they with the others?
429
00:22:57,880 --> 00:23:00,719
Come on, they've been under that
tree the whole time we've been here.
430
00:23:00,720 --> 00:23:03,639
Golly, you've figured it
out, haven't you?
431
00:23:03,640 --> 00:23:05,240
SIEGFRIED CHUCKLES
432
00:23:05,241 --> 00:23:07,199
Well,
it's a lovely sunny day -
433
00:23:07,200 --> 00:23:09,199
suggests some reaction
to the hot weather.
434
00:23:09,200 --> 00:23:11,719
Heat stress?
Then why the itching?
435
00:23:11,720 --> 00:23:13,719
Or light.
436
00:23:13,720 --> 00:23:15,599
Oh, I know where
you're going with this. Wait.
437
00:23:15,600 --> 00:23:17,320
SIEGFRIED LAUGHS
438
00:23:20,281 --> 00:23:24,159
St
John's Wort.
439
00:23:24,160 --> 00:23:28,719
I think the brothers
have been munching on it.
440
00:23:28,720 --> 00:23:30,519
And now they don't want
to go out into the sun.
441
00:23:30,520 --> 00:23:33,279
It's made them photosensitive.
They don't want to get sunburned.
442
00:23:33,280 --> 00:23:34,799
Splendid.
Well done, Mr Farnon.
443
00:23:34,800 --> 00:23:36,799
Ah, tush. You'd have put it
together before long.
444
00:23:36,800 --> 00:23:40,000
Good news? I was about to offer you
some coffee.
445
00:23:40,001 --> 00:23:43,039
Mr Farnon's
just solved it. Oh?
446
00:23:43,040 --> 00:23:44,879
He's
such an accomplished vet.
447
00:23:44,880 --> 00:23:49,359
All in all, he's clever, dependable,
the kindest of men.
448
00:23:49,360 --> 00:23:52,660
And not
currently in a pair-bond.
449
00:23:53,400 --> 00:23:55,720
SHE CHUCKLES
Come on, come on.
450
00:23:55,881 --> 00:23:59,639
Listen, Carmody.
451
00:23:59,640 --> 00:24:02,559
That was bloody embarrassing.
What the hell were you thinking?
452
00:24:02,560 --> 00:24:04,919
But you like her,
so why wouldn't I help?
453
00:24:04,920 --> 00:24:07,319
A "pair-bond"?
454
00:24:07,320 --> 00:24:10,359
Humans are like swans and foxes.
They generally thrive in pair-bonds.
455
00:24:10,360 --> 00:24:15,399
Carmody, this is far from your area
of expertise. Very far.
456
00:24:15,400 --> 00:24:17,199
There's a...
457
00:24:17,200 --> 00:24:20,999
a pace at which these things
are done, a subtlety.
458
00:24:21,000 --> 00:24:22,319
Sorry.
459
00:24:22,320 --> 00:24:25,359
It's just looked like you might
be succumbing to fight or flight.
460
00:24:25,360 --> 00:24:27,719
Raised anxiety
because you're overwhelmed
461
00:24:27,720 --> 00:24:30,079
by your attraction to her.
I know what it means.
462
00:24:30,080 --> 00:24:32,439
Richard, I
am perfectly capable with women.
463
00:24:32,440 --> 00:24:35,080
Perfectly capable.
464
00:24:35,600 --> 00:24:37,400
Oh...
465
00:24:37,401 --> 00:24:42,599
Just get these two inside,
out of the sunlight.
466
00:24:42,600 --> 00:24:45,320
Coffee's ready for you both.
467
00:24:45,360 --> 00:24:51,850
Thank you, Miss Grantley.
STRAINED:Thank you, Miss Grantley.
468
00:24:53,280 --> 00:24:55,520
JIMMY BABBLES
469
00:24:55,560 --> 00:24:57,880
..this blasted thing
hate me so much?
470
00:24:57,881 --> 00:24:59,399
Oh, dear. Bye-bye.
471
00:24:59,400 --> 00:25:02,079
Bye-bye, little man.
472
00:25:02,080 --> 00:25:05,119
Bye-bye.
Hold on, where are you going?
473
00:25:05,120 --> 00:25:08,599
I promised I'd pull up
Dot Fawcett's radishes.
474
00:25:08,600 --> 00:25:10,760
Good luck.
475
00:25:10,761 --> 00:25:14,439
Ah, there
he is, my errant batsman.
476
00:25:14,440 --> 00:25:15,999
Mind if I borrow him
for 30 minutes?
477
00:25:16,000 --> 00:25:17,479
I want to see
if he can spot my googly.
478
00:25:17,480 --> 00:25:20,239
Try me at the weekend. I
tell you what - I'll help.
479
00:25:20,240 --> 00:25:22,279
We finish in double time.
Time you save, you bat.
480
00:25:22,280 --> 00:25:24,880
I've got Jimmy for an hour,
then I'm back in surgery.
481
00:25:24,881 --> 00:25:27,479
Siegfried's got a better screwdriver
than that. Two seconds.
482
00:25:27,480 --> 00:25:29,080
FOOTSTEPS RECEDE
483
00:25:30,560 --> 00:25:33,960
It's not enough that we're back
out drinking again tonight?
484
00:25:34,000 --> 00:25:36,840
How on Earth did I end up
looking after Tristan
485
00:25:36,880 --> 00:25:38,440
on top of everything else?
486
00:25:38,480 --> 00:25:40,320
The night calls, Jimmy teething,
487
00:25:40,321 --> 00:25:42,719
up all hours... You
know it's not that complicated.
488
00:25:42,720 --> 00:25:44,159
You just tell Tris
you're staying in.
489
00:25:44,160 --> 00:25:47,240
If he's redeployed,
he might not be back forever.
490
00:25:49,680 --> 00:25:51,240
He'll need some happy memories.
491
00:25:51,241 --> 00:25:53,759
Tristan's had enough drunken nights
to last a lifetime.
492
00:25:53,760 --> 00:25:55,400
HE CHUCKLES
493
00:25:55,440 --> 00:25:57,660
Talk to him.
494
00:25:57,661 --> 00:26:00,879
Cheerio, Helen.
Here we are, old boy.
495
00:26:00,880 --> 00:26:03,120
HE IMITATES AEROPLANE
496
00:26:03,121 --> 00:26:04,159
JIMMY LAUGHS
497
00:26:04,160 --> 00:26:06,759
Now, let's show your daddy
how it's done, all right?
498
00:26:06,760 --> 00:26:09,040
Pass it here.
499
00:26:09,080 --> 00:26:10,160
No...
JAMES SIGHS
500
00:26:11,720 --> 00:26:14,790
In the left.
Watch and learn.
501
00:26:16,840 --> 00:26:18,720
SNAPPING,
CLATTERING
502
00:26:18,760 --> 00:26:20,320
JIMMY FUSSES
503
00:26:23,301 --> 00:26:26,479
MR BOSWORTH: I shall make my report
504
00:26:26,480 --> 00:26:30,280
to the District Report Centre
from the Hampson's property.
505
00:26:30,320 --> 00:26:32,560
Not a word to these bystanders.
506
00:26:32,561 --> 00:26:35,119
Yeah, they mustn't hear
about the tinned potatoes (!)
507
00:26:35,120 --> 00:26:38,920
Head Office may wish
to make further identification.
508
00:26:38,921 --> 00:26:41,759
So now you're gonna call
out the Home Guard?
509
00:26:41,760 --> 00:26:43,759
To
identify a bar of soap?
510
00:26:43,760 --> 00:26:47,560
It's important to dot the Is
and cross the Ts, that's all.
511
00:26:47,561 --> 00:26:50,079
You're not still thinking
it's enemy spies?
512
00:26:50,080 --> 00:26:52,839
Nobody
parachuted off that plane.
513
00:26:52,840 --> 00:26:55,919
We can't say for certain.
What's got into you?
514
00:26:55,920 --> 00:26:58,439
Anybody would think
you want Darrowby to be in danger.
515
00:26:58,440 --> 00:27:00,959
Come on, now.
I've got a busy day.
516
00:27:00,960 --> 00:27:03,280
Well, the quicker
I get my report in,
517
00:27:03,320 --> 00:27:04,720
the safer Darrowby will be.
518
00:27:04,760 --> 00:27:08,280
Fine, I will utilise
my home telephone.
519
00:27:08,320 --> 00:27:09,400
HE GRUMBLES
520
00:27:09,401 --> 00:27:13,639
Absolutely,
it will be with you.
521
00:27:13,640 --> 00:27:16,279
I have it right here in my hands,
the next draft.
522
00:27:16,280 --> 00:27:18,440
Mm-hm. 3pm.
523
00:27:18,441 --> 00:27:20,639
Friday,
I'll be there.
524
00:27:20,640 --> 00:27:23,640
Goodbye.
Thank you, Martha.
525
00:27:24,101 --> 00:27:29,319
I'm
confused, Mr Carmody.
526
00:27:29,320 --> 00:27:34,839
St John's Wort is a boost to humans,
but toxic to goats?
527
00:27:34,840 --> 00:27:37,799
Same compound responsible,
actually - hypericin.
528
00:27:37,800 --> 00:27:39,319
One
of my absolute favourites.
529
00:27:39,320 --> 00:27:41,679
On contact with light,
the hypericin seeks out
530
00:27:41,680 --> 00:27:44,279
the goats' unpigmented cells,
under the white hair,
531
00:27:44,280 --> 00:27:48,119
and destroys their walls, causing
a severe inflammatory reaction.
532
00:27:48,120 --> 00:27:49,999
I can
see why you're so fond of it.
533
00:27:50,000 --> 00:27:52,240
SIEGFRIED LAUGHS
534
00:27:52,241 --> 00:27:53,799
There's rather a lovely
passage about it
535
00:27:53,800 --> 00:27:55,039
in Wilkes
and Graham, in fact.
536
00:27:55,040 --> 00:27:56,919
Oh,
I have a first edition,
537
00:27:56,920 --> 00:27:59,999
up on the top shelf,
with my husband's books.
538
00:28:00,000 --> 00:28:03,479
Have a look.
Oh.
539
00:28:03,480 --> 00:28:05,820
I will indeed.
540
00:28:08,000 --> 00:28:11,560
So, your husband stayed out East,
did he?
541
00:28:11,561 --> 00:28:13,159
Well,
you could say that -
542
00:28:13,160 --> 00:28:16,599
he contracted malaria
out there, and...
543
00:28:16,600 --> 00:28:19,730
..died.
Oh, I'm terribly sorry.
544
00:28:21,560 --> 00:28:22,960
I know how devastating...
545
00:28:22,961 --> 00:28:25,999
No, it was.
.. it was so long ago,
546
00:28:26,000 --> 00:28:31,590
and I was so young,
I can barely remember him.
547
00:28:33,440 --> 00:28:36,240
So...
SHE LAUGHS
548
00:28:36,241 --> 00:28:38,559
This was
all before the Great War.
549
00:28:38,560 --> 00:28:41,400
And
since then, I've...
550
00:28:41,440 --> 00:28:46,790
lived my life
free of men's plans for me.
551
00:28:46,791 --> 00:28:49,319
Ah!
THEY CHUCKLE
552
00:28:49,320 --> 00:28:51,079
That boy...
553
00:28:51,080 --> 00:28:53,400
He got the top distinction
in his year.
554
00:28:53,401 --> 00:28:55,079
Won a prestigious research post
in London.
555
00:28:55,080 --> 00:28:57,780
Golly, how smashing.
556
00:28:57,781 --> 00:28:59,639
Though
I can't say I'm surprised.
557
00:28:59,640 --> 00:29:02,280
You know,
I think I'm putting it together.
558
00:29:03,360 --> 00:29:05,000
Your love for goats -
559
00:29:05,001 --> 00:29:06,839
weren't they first domesticated
in Persia?
560
00:29:06,840 --> 00:29:09,119
They were.
Do you know when?
561
00:29:09,120 --> 00:29:11,360
I'd say around 10,000 years ago.
562
00:29:11,400 --> 00:29:13,620
Jolly good.
563
00:29:13,621 --> 00:29:15,559
In later
Persian civilisations,
564
00:29:15,560 --> 00:29:19,519
goats represented
divine order and goodness.
565
00:29:19,520 --> 00:29:21,199
And is that
what you're writing about?
566
00:29:21,200 --> 00:29:25,599
No, actually,
my book is more of an overview,
567
00:29:25,600 --> 00:29:29,559
based loosely on a series
of lectures I teach at Cambridge -
568
00:29:29,560 --> 00:29:31,399
Zarathustra
And Ziggurats.
569
00:29:31,400 --> 00:29:35,040
HE CHUCKLES
Well, it all sounds fascinating.
570
00:29:35,080 --> 00:29:36,400
Digging for treasure,
571
00:29:36,401 --> 00:29:38,799
forgotten civilisations
appearing out of the dust.
572
00:29:38,800 --> 00:29:41,079
Not a normal life.
573
00:29:41,080 --> 00:29:43,439
I sometimes wonder
what I missed out on.
574
00:29:43,440 --> 00:29:45,159
You've lived
on the other side of the world.
575
00:29:45,160 --> 00:29:46,279
You must have seen so much.
576
00:29:46,280 --> 00:29:49,279
There
were forks in the road.
577
00:29:49,280 --> 00:29:56,130
And you never do find out what might
have happened going the other way.
578
00:29:59,480 --> 00:30:00,640
No, you don't.
579
00:30:00,641 --> 00:30:06,959
The Persians believed divine
will was expressed
580
00:30:06,960 --> 00:30:11,319
through a person's particular
talents and interests, and I...
581
00:30:11,320 --> 00:30:17,630
I really can't think of
a better way to navigate one's life.
582
00:30:17,631 --> 00:30:23,319
Mr Farnon tells me
you're leaving for London.
583
00:30:23,320 --> 00:30:25,900
Congratulations.
584
00:30:25,901 --> 00:30:27,839
Your prize.
585
00:30:27,840 --> 00:30:29,479
Oh,
I'm not accepting it.
586
00:30:29,480 --> 00:30:31,119
No?
587
00:30:31,120 --> 00:30:34,399
I'd much rather stay here as a vet,
help with the war effort.
588
00:30:34,400 --> 00:30:36,200
Oh.
589
00:30:36,600 --> 00:30:39,240
Oh, right.
Of course.
590
00:30:43,880 --> 00:30:45,520
PEACOCK CALLS
591
00:30:46,800 --> 00:30:48,760
So, Ziggurats And Zarathustra...
592
00:30:48,761 --> 00:30:52,399
Actually, it's the other way round.
I'd be fascinated to read it.
593
00:30:52,400 --> 00:30:54,839
Well, I...
SHE CHUCKLES
594
00:30:54,840 --> 00:30:58,600
I do have a.
.. a draft copy.
595
00:30:58,601 --> 00:31:01,519
It's rather long.
Are you quite sure?
596
00:31:01,520 --> 00:31:03,120
It would be a privilege.
597
00:31:03,121 --> 00:31:07,359
Well, you would be under
absolutely no obligation whatsoever,
598
00:31:07,360 --> 00:31:09,639
but if
you did decide to tackle it,
599
00:31:09,640 --> 00:31:16,430
I would be very interested to know
how it lands with a general reader.
600
00:31:16,431 --> 00:31:19,839
You know, I do believe she likes
those fine feathers of yours.
601
00:31:19,840 --> 00:31:22,720
Keep it down.
Keep it down.
602
00:31:26,360 --> 00:31:28,880
SHE CHUCKLES
Oh. Well...
603
00:31:32,880 --> 00:31:34,680
I shall treasure it, thank you.
604
00:31:34,720 --> 00:31:36,520
SHE CHUCKLES
Miss Grantley.
605
00:31:36,560 --> 00:31:38,720
Mr Farnon.
606
00:31:39,320 --> 00:31:44,370
Cheerio, Miss Grantley.
Cheerio.
607
00:31:45,440 --> 00:31:47,720
CHATTER
608
00:32:03,840 --> 00:32:05,120
Thank you.
609
00:32:10,461 --> 00:32:15,079
The
man who sold them
610
00:32:15,080 --> 00:32:17,799
said ferrets take out rats
quicker than strychnine.
611
00:32:17,800 --> 00:32:18,879
I
can quite believe it.
612
00:32:18,880 --> 00:32:20,879
These chaps
are their natural predators.
613
00:32:20,880 --> 00:32:22,839
Well,
thank you, Mr Herriot.
614
00:32:22,840 --> 00:32:26,199
Oh, how
long till he's back ratting?
615
00:32:26,200 --> 00:32:28,599
Oh, a week should do it.
Right.
616
00:32:28,600 --> 00:32:31,599
You used strychnine before?
Aye.
617
00:32:31,600 --> 00:32:34,839
But fat chance of getting your hands
on any these past few months.
618
00:32:34,840 --> 00:32:36,159
It's like gold dust.
619
00:32:36,160 --> 00:32:39,560
Mr Farnon said Bingo's symptoms
were consistent
620
00:32:39,600 --> 00:32:40,980
with strychnine poisoning.
621
00:32:40,981 --> 00:32:43,039
I'd never leave rat poison
lying around.
622
00:32:43,040 --> 00:32:46,960
Just, you said Mr Bosworth
were up at Danby's with Bingo?
623
00:32:46,961 --> 00:32:50,279
What did you do with the rats
after you poisoned them?
624
00:32:50,280 --> 00:32:52,319
I buried
them, like Mr Danby said.
625
00:32:52,320 --> 00:32:54,719
How deep?
Danby didn't say.
626
00:32:54,720 --> 00:32:58,119
Doris, when a rat dies from poison,
the corpse stays full of it.
627
00:32:58,120 --> 00:32:59,279
You
have to bury them deep
628
00:32:59,280 --> 00:33:03,079
or the foxes dig them up
and poison themselves.
629
00:33:03,080 --> 00:33:08,370
Right, it's
just round this wall here.
630
00:33:13,280 --> 00:33:14,640
GASPING
631
00:33:14,641 --> 00:33:17,079
Oh, no, I didn't leave it
dug up like this.
632
00:33:17,080 --> 00:33:18,940
Hey.
633
00:33:18,941 --> 00:33:24,719
Sorry, I don't think you
buried them deep enough.
634
00:33:24,720 --> 00:33:26,940
So it was me.
635
00:33:27,400 --> 00:33:31,250
I murdered Bingo.
Well, you weren't to know.
636
00:33:31,251 --> 00:33:33,679
Nobody told you any different,
did they?
637
00:33:33,680 --> 00:33:36,599
This is
his responsibility - Danby.
638
00:33:36,600 --> 00:33:39,960
Well,
I'd better tell Mr Bosworth.
639
00:33:39,961 --> 00:33:43,319
Why don't you let me
break it to him first?
640
00:33:43,320 --> 00:33:45,799
I could
bloomin' well throttle you.
641
00:33:45,800 --> 00:33:47,759
If you showed
one ounce of human kindness,
642
00:33:47,760 --> 00:33:49,159
that
dog would still be alive.
643
00:33:49,160 --> 00:33:53,799
Come on, what have you got
to say for yourself?
644
00:33:53,800 --> 00:33:56,400
MR DANBY GRUNTS,
DORIS LAUGHS
645
00:33:57,720 --> 00:34:00,320
Googly! Yes!
646
00:34:00,321 --> 00:34:02,719
See, told you, didn't I?
Went the other way entirely.
647
00:34:02,720 --> 00:34:04,279
You've bamboozled Mr James Herriot,
648
00:34:04,280 --> 00:34:05,879
but could you get it by
Mr Len Hutton?
649
00:34:05,880 --> 00:34:07,479
Yes, undoubtedly.
650
00:34:07,480 --> 00:34:09,320
Come on, Jimmy lad, nap time.
651
00:34:09,321 --> 00:34:11,839
Whoa, whoa, James,
get back to the crease.
652
00:34:11,840 --> 00:34:14,719
I wouldn't
mind bowling again. Sorry, can't.
653
00:34:14,720 --> 00:34:16,399
Tris, I said we'd play,
and we've played.
654
00:34:16,400 --> 00:34:18,759
For what?
Ten minutes? Twenty, actually.
655
00:34:18,760 --> 00:34:20,559
Look...
Er, let me guess.
656
00:34:20,560 --> 00:34:22,919
You're about to pull out of
tonight, aren't you?
657
00:34:22,920 --> 00:34:24,679
Tactical rest before the weekend?
I understand.
658
00:34:24,680 --> 00:34:27,319
I'll call the Otleys and re-arrange.
Can't do the weekend.
659
00:34:27,320 --> 00:34:30,000
Oh. Something up?
660
00:34:30,040 --> 00:34:32,000
All this rabble rousing,
661
00:34:32,001 --> 00:34:33,639
time was,
I'd be right at your shoulder.
662
00:34:33,640 --> 00:34:35,519
Helen doesn't mind.
No, it's me.
663
00:34:35,520 --> 00:34:37,400
I want to enjoy my time with Jimmy.
664
00:34:37,401 --> 00:34:39,239
And I want my mind clear
to do my best work.
665
00:34:39,240 --> 00:34:41,199
You just can't keep up
with me, can you?
666
00:34:41,200 --> 00:34:43,080
I can still have fun
like the old days.
667
00:34:43,120 --> 00:34:44,520
Just not every night.
668
00:34:44,521 --> 00:34:46,439
And better
if you give me some warning.
669
00:34:46,440 --> 00:34:47,560
Sorry, old chap.
670
00:34:47,561 --> 00:34:50,399
Oh, perhaps,
I took it a little too far.
671
00:34:50,400 --> 00:34:52,799
I just wanted to make the
most of being back.
672
00:34:52,800 --> 00:34:54,599
You're
all right, though? Of course.
673
00:34:54,600 --> 00:34:56,280
Come here, old chap.
674
00:34:57,400 --> 00:34:59,640
Yeah, speaking of responsibilities,
675
00:34:59,641 --> 00:35:01,399
finished that lecture of yours,
have you?
676
00:35:01,400 --> 00:35:03,279
Oh, what? You think
I've been distracting you
677
00:35:03,280 --> 00:35:05,199
with cricket
to avoid getting it done?
678
00:35:05,200 --> 00:35:06,599
What
about your playpen?
679
00:35:06,600 --> 00:35:08,999
Shouldn't you be getting
back to that, hm?
680
00:35:09,000 --> 00:35:10,879
One more over?
That's the ticket.
681
00:35:10,880 --> 00:35:12,640
Come on, Jimmy lad.
682
00:35:12,680 --> 00:35:16,000
Watch your father's forward defence,
my boy!
683
00:35:18,800 --> 00:35:20,720
Show us your best googly, then.
684
00:35:20,721 --> 00:35:22,759
Googly!
685
00:35:22,760 --> 00:35:23,959
Yes!
686
00:35:23,960 --> 00:35:26,910
I wasn't ready.
And again.
687
00:35:29,520 --> 00:35:31,480
He told me he'd made his decision.
688
00:35:32,921 --> 00:35:36,119
I see.
689
00:35:36,120 --> 00:35:38,480
I should have set him straight
this morning.
690
00:35:38,481 --> 00:35:41,239
Damn it, I just wasn't prepared
for him leaving so suddenly.
691
00:35:41,240 --> 00:35:44,359
It's natural enough.
You want them close.
692
00:35:44,360 --> 00:35:47,320
I've got used to him being around.
I was...
693
00:35:47,360 --> 00:35:48,880
selfish.
694
00:35:48,881 --> 00:35:51,639
You've
helped that boy enormously.
695
00:35:51,640 --> 00:35:54,599
And what better culmination
than him winning that prize?
696
00:35:54,600 --> 00:35:56,320
It's not up to me, though.
697
00:35:57,480 --> 00:35:59,800
That boy seems to have his mind
all made up.
698
00:35:59,801 --> 00:36:05,159
I reckon there's
more behind it than that.
699
00:36:05,160 --> 00:36:08,239
Think how Mr Camody
were brought up -
700
00:36:08,240 --> 00:36:10,519
being
sent from pillar to post.
701
00:36:10,520 --> 00:36:11,570
Yes.
702
00:36:15,920 --> 00:36:19,960
Yes, no, you might be
on to something there.
703
00:36:20,000 --> 00:36:22,110
Thank you, Mrs Hall.
I'll talk to him again.
704
00:36:25,040 --> 00:36:27,960
TRISTAN AND JAMES
BREATHE HEAVILY
705
00:36:29,720 --> 00:36:33,750
What?
What?
706
00:36:49,600 --> 00:36:51,940
You look busy.
707
00:36:56,120 --> 00:36:59,360
Let
me guess - Imperial College.
708
00:37:01,360 --> 00:37:04,670
Your brother told you?
Just now.
709
00:37:04,831 --> 00:37:08,919
Not an easy decision,
as you can imagine.
710
00:37:08,920 --> 00:37:11,959
Oh,
I know exactly how it feels.
711
00:37:11,960 --> 00:37:13,799
I
refused the Warners, too.
712
00:37:13,800 --> 00:37:15,280
Oh?
713
00:37:15,320 --> 00:37:16,960
Right, so...
714
00:37:18,600 --> 00:37:21,600
Oh, I see. You're pulling my leg.
715
00:37:21,601 --> 00:37:23,319
Yes.
716
00:37:23,320 --> 00:37:25,320
CARMODY SIGHS
717
00:37:25,360 --> 00:37:27,680
Damned hard
to find the right phrasing.
718
00:37:27,720 --> 00:37:29,640
They're honouring me.
719
00:37:29,680 --> 00:37:34,040
But my reply sounds like I'm giving
them some kind of moral lecture.
720
00:37:35,120 --> 00:37:37,580
Well, good luck.
721
00:37:40,640 --> 00:37:42,740
You know...
722
00:37:44,240 --> 00:37:50,910
..there was a time when I couldn't
imagine leaving Skeldale either.
723
00:37:53,160 --> 00:37:55,720
CAR HORN TOOTS
724
00:37:55,760 --> 00:37:58,000
TOOTING CONTINUES
725
00:38:01,080 --> 00:38:02,840
TOOTING CONTINUES
726
00:38:09,631 --> 00:38:15,079
MR BOSWORTH: Right,
what's happening?
727
00:38:15,080 --> 00:38:17,079
WOMAN:I'm
afraid I might have...
728
00:38:17,080 --> 00:38:19,320
Oh, come on, Audrey.
729
00:38:19,321 --> 00:38:20,879
CONVERSATION CONTINUES
IN DISTANCE
730
00:38:20,880 --> 00:38:23,200
Get it over with.
SHE EXHALES DEEPLY
731
00:38:23,201 --> 00:38:24,559
Make
a note on your pantry door.
732
00:38:24,560 --> 00:38:27,679
OK, I'm so sorry Mr Bosworth.
Remember. Remember.
733
00:38:27,680 --> 00:38:29,360
Mr Bosworth?
734
00:38:31,000 --> 00:38:32,480
Can I have a word?
735
00:38:32,481 --> 00:38:39,039
Well, what a bloomin' stupid
way for Bingo to go.
736
00:38:39,040 --> 00:38:41,920
I'll
need a word with her.
737
00:38:42,480 --> 00:38:44,720
She feels awful about it.
738
00:38:44,760 --> 00:38:47,080
She wants to apologise in person.
739
00:38:47,081 --> 00:38:51,519
Apologise? I don't want to hear it.
Will that bring him back?
740
00:38:51,520 --> 00:38:54,719
No, in fact,
if you're talking to her,
741
00:38:54,720 --> 00:38:57,279
tell her this for me.
Tell her...
742
00:38:57,280 --> 00:39:00,040
FORCEFULLY:Tell
her...
743
00:39:00,041 --> 00:39:07,959
NORMALLY:..Bingo brought me
so much happiness...
744
00:39:07,960 --> 00:39:10,959
..I'll not have him
bringing misery to her.
745
00:39:10,960 --> 00:39:13,720
And
so in conclusion,
746
00:39:13,721 --> 00:39:17,199
artful management of water supply,
water conservation,
747
00:39:17,200 --> 00:39:19,959
shade and rest
will protect your mules
748
00:39:19,960 --> 00:39:22,959
from dehydration, even in
the most scorching of deserts.
749
00:39:22,960 --> 00:39:24,240
JIMMY GIGGLES
750
00:39:24,241 --> 00:39:27,279
Thank you.
Thank you very much.
751
00:39:27,280 --> 00:39:28,639
What
do you think? Too long?
752
00:39:28,640 --> 00:39:30,200
JIMMY FARTS,
GIGGLES
753
00:39:30,201 --> 00:39:33,759
No, you're right.
It's perfect, isn't it? Perfect.
754
00:39:33,760 --> 00:39:36,119
What did you think?
Do you have any notes?
755
00:39:36,120 --> 00:39:37,799
No? No notes.
756
00:39:37,800 --> 00:39:40,200
Ha-ha-ha-ha!
757
00:39:45,960 --> 00:39:47,360
HAMISH WHINES
758
00:39:50,280 --> 00:39:53,400
You
wrote your letter, then?
759
00:39:54,360 --> 00:39:56,120
In time to catch the evening post.
760
00:39:57,680 --> 00:40:00,000
Took me an age
to figure out how to phrase it.
761
00:40:00,040 --> 00:40:01,800
Better for it to be logical.
762
00:40:01,801 --> 00:40:04,239
Struggling to find the
logic, were you?
763
00:40:04,240 --> 00:40:07,160
No, my answer made complete sense.
764
00:40:10,000 --> 00:40:12,560
I just don't know any more.
That's the truth of it.
765
00:40:12,561 --> 00:40:17,599
You know, if
you were to go off to London...
766
00:40:17,600 --> 00:40:20,039
..I hope you know,
there's always a place here for you.
767
00:40:20,040 --> 00:40:24,400
No, see, if I took the Warners,
I'd be leaving practice,
768
00:40:24,401 --> 00:40:25,679
to do research, primarily.
769
00:40:25,680 --> 00:40:28,320
I
don't mean as a vet.
770
00:40:31,000 --> 00:40:32,120
Oh.
771
00:40:39,520 --> 00:40:42,680
JIMMY COOS
And that should...
772
00:40:42,681 --> 00:40:45,319
..do it.
Aw.
773
00:40:45,320 --> 00:40:48,040
There we go.
774
00:40:48,041 --> 00:40:49,319
Aw!
775
00:40:49,320 --> 00:40:51,920
BELL RINGS,
JIMMY BABBLES
776
00:40:53,720 --> 00:40:56,440
Well, hello. Aw!
777
00:40:57,840 --> 00:40:59,120
CARMODY
CLEARS THROAT
778
00:41:00,320 --> 00:41:02,320
HE STAMMERS,
SIGHS
779
00:41:02,360 --> 00:41:05,080
I... Well...
780
00:41:05,120 --> 00:41:06,620
I think I have an announcement.
781
00:41:08,400 --> 00:41:09,520
Hamish.
782
00:41:13,560 --> 00:41:16,800
This morning, I found out
I was awarded the Warners Prize.
783
00:41:16,840 --> 00:41:21,200
Accepting it would mean
an imminent departure for London.
784
00:41:21,201 --> 00:41:24,599
Oh.
The Warners, eh?
785
00:41:24,600 --> 00:41:25,960
After some consideration...
786
00:41:27,000 --> 00:41:28,680
..I've decided to accept.
787
00:41:30,400 --> 00:41:33,880
That's
bloody marvellous, old chap.
788
00:41:34,000 --> 00:41:36,600
Ten days' time, I start.
Down in London.
789
00:41:36,601 --> 00:41:38,319
But that's so soon.
790
00:41:38,320 --> 00:41:40,199
It must have been
a tough decision, pal,
791
00:41:40,200 --> 00:41:41,799
but
I see great things ahead.
792
00:41:41,800 --> 00:41:42,919
Oh, come here.
793
00:41:42,920 --> 00:41:46,759
Bloomin' wonderful news.
The place won't be the same.
794
00:41:46,760 --> 00:41:48,559
I rather wish
I could take you all with me.
795
00:41:48,560 --> 00:41:51,879
That'd be some suitcase.
THEY LAUGH
796
00:41:51,880 --> 00:41:55,479
Right, this calls
for a celebratory drink.
797
00:41:55,480 --> 00:41:57,839
I mean, I'm
finally getting my bed back.
798
00:41:57,840 --> 00:42:00,199
James won't be able to make
it, of course.
799
00:42:00,200 --> 00:42:02,239
You have to give him
at least six months' notice (!)
800
00:42:02,240 --> 00:42:04,239
Ha-ha!
Richard? Beers?
801
00:42:04,240 --> 00:42:06,720
You go. I'll join you.
802
00:42:06,760 --> 00:42:09,640
I
have to do some reading.
803
00:42:15,520 --> 00:42:19,880
Mrs Hall, you don't happen to have
the phone number for the Danby farm?
804
00:42:19,920 --> 00:42:21,520
JIMMY FUSSES
805
00:42:21,521 --> 00:42:26,519
Thanks for being so understanding
about this, Tris.
806
00:42:26,520 --> 00:42:29,199
Helen?
'Ey, I'd love a night off.
807
00:42:29,200 --> 00:42:31,039
You'll be all right with
Jimmy, won't you?
808
00:42:31,040 --> 00:42:32,519
I
suppose I'll have to be!
809
00:42:32,520 --> 00:42:35,679
Have a good time.
TRISTAN LAUGHS
810
00:42:35,680 --> 00:42:41,210
Right, Jimmy.
Do you like your new playpen?
811
00:42:43,600 --> 00:42:45,560
JAMES LAUGHS,
JIMMY GIGGLES
812
00:42:45,600 --> 00:42:47,400
Thank you.
813
00:42:47,440 --> 00:42:48,640
UNCRADLES PHONE
814
00:42:50,000 --> 00:42:52,400
PHONE DIAL WHIRS
815
00:42:53,791 --> 00:42:59,039
Come here.
JIMMY FUSSES
816
00:42:59,040 --> 00:43:00,240
Hello, Doris?
817
00:43:00,280 --> 00:43:03,160
It's Mister Carmody. Richard.
818
00:43:03,200 --> 00:43:04,720
That's him, me.
819
00:43:04,760 --> 00:43:07,280
I'm Richard Carmody. I'm a vet...
820
00:43:07,320 --> 00:43:09,000
for animals.
821
00:43:10,040 --> 00:43:12,000
Anyhow...
822
00:43:13,280 --> 00:43:16,200
..we were all about to go
to the Drovers, have a drink.
823
00:43:17,640 --> 00:43:19,560
If you'd join us...
824
00:43:19,600 --> 00:43:21,530
it would be excellent
to see you there.
825
00:43:22,320 --> 00:43:23,440
Yes?
826
00:43:24,560 --> 00:43:27,480
Well, in about half an hour, then.
827
00:43:27,520 --> 00:43:29,840
Goodbye.
CRADLES PHONE
828
00:43:31,480 --> 00:43:32,920
You're coming to the capital.
829
00:43:34,040 --> 00:43:37,760
It'll just be you,
me and the big city.
830
00:43:37,800 --> 00:43:41,080
Ready for a new palette of sniffs?
Of course you are.
831
00:43:41,120 --> 00:43:43,520
HE INHALES,
EXHALES DEEPLY
832
00:43:45,880 --> 00:43:47,040
Drovers?
833
00:43:48,600 --> 00:43:50,760
Shall we?
834
00:43:51,160 --> 00:43:52,240
Super.
835
00:43:53,600 --> 00:43:56,640
Oh, and Doris has promised
to join us.
836
00:43:56,721 --> 00:44:00,159
New book?
837
00:44:00,160 --> 00:44:03,479
Oh, just something I picked up
about Ancient Persia.
838
00:44:03,480 --> 00:44:06,000
It's quite a tome.
839
00:44:06,001 --> 00:44:11,559
Remember
when he first arrived?
840
00:44:11,560 --> 00:44:14,039
The boy didn't know a thing.
Now look at him.
841
00:44:14,040 --> 00:44:16,800
Doors
and everything.
842
00:44:17,840 --> 00:44:19,200
SHE CHUCKLES
843
00:44:19,201 --> 00:44:27,119
Well, this is jolly.
All of us celebrating together.
844
00:44:27,120 --> 00:44:30,420
Oh,
don't mind me, Siegfried (!)
845
00:44:30,421 --> 00:44:32,279
Don't mind us.
846
00:44:32,280 --> 00:44:34,680
JAMES GASPS,
JIMMY SQUEALS
847
00:44:34,730 --> 00:44:39,280
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