All language subtitles for I AM A KILLER_S04E03_Serving Time.en.closedcaptions

[somber melodic music plays]

This is all of Toby's medals.

This is Toby's Purple Heart.

He got this here
from injuries he got in Afghanistan.

We were really proud of Toby

when he got all these,

but I would gladly give them
all back just to have him back.

My name is Arunda Perkins.

I'm Toby Gregory's mom.

He did two tours of Afghanistan
back to back,

and it was really bad.

Toby was never the same
after that last tour.

The military just done something to him
and he ain't my Toby now.

[cryptic instrumental music plays]

[eerie instrumental music plays]

[bird squawks]

[music intensifies]

I am Toby Gregory.

I'm at the Jefferson City
Correctional Center

in the state of Missouri.

[music intensifies]

I was given a 24, uh, year sentence
for second-degree murder

due to diminished capacity

for PTSD.

[melodic instrumental music plays]

I was born, uh, July 16th, 1974.

I grew up in the small town
of Belle, Missouri.

There wasn't a whole lot to do there.

We went out to creeks and partied.

And I guess ever since then,
I realized that I like drinking.

In my teenage years, it got more so.

It didn't get totally out of control
until I…

when I joined the military.

Uh, then that was the pastime.

[somber instrumental music plays]

I always thought about
joining the military when I was young.

But when I first got off the bus
at Marine Corps boot camp,

I was thinking, "What did I do to myself?"

Why-- Why did I want to put myself
through this?

But then, once I graduated,
I felt the sense of accomplishment

of earning the title as a marine,

and it-- It was great…

for a while.

She took a personal interest in me.

And she did things to me that was not only
against policy, but against the law.

She would come in at gunpoint…

and she would sexually assault me.

She would make me take Viagra
and have sex with her.

She actually physically choked me,

and I honestly believed that she
would have shot me and got away with it.

She took everything from me.

I felt weak.

And I reported this.

The things that I got was,
"Men don't get sexually assaulted."

Uh, "You should be glad
that she's having sex with you."

[music intensifies]

[downbeat guitar music plays]

[dog barking]

[cars passing]

[music intensifies]

[tense music plays]

I was deployed to Afghanistan in 2008.

[helicopter whirring]

I got assigned with the 2506 infantry.

We were on the supplier route
and we took fire,

rockets, basically every day.

December 15th, 2008

is where I got my traumatic brain injury
and received my Purple Heart.

[helicopter whirring]

I heard the launch of a rocket.

[rocket whistles]

It actually hit the bunker
that we would have been in.

[music intensifies]

And, and knocked me unconscious.

I was shaken up.

I was bleeding from the nose and mouth.

I couldn't regain focus.

I wasn't flown out

because they needed everybody there,

but there was reports
that I wasn't acting right.

[grim instrumental music plays]

The doctor did a couple MRIs.

She noted in my file that there is
substantial damage to my frontal lobe,

and she documented
that it was due to the deployments.

[somber melodic music plays]

There was a connection.

Because all my time in the military trying
to talk to somebody, nobody understood me.

I got the feeling
that people would think I was crazy.

But she didn't

because she shared the same experiences
and things in her life,

so I felt a connection.

Inez is being sent
to Fort Leonard Wood, Missouri,

and I was retiring and coming home.

I moved up around St. Louis.

And finally me and Inez
got married in 2013.

[muffled horn honks]

I had problems adjusting to civilian life.

I wasn't really able to keep a job
or maintain a job.

And I was still trying to adjust.

[music intensifies]

I didn't want to admit
that I was breaking down.

[ominous instrumental music plays]

I don't remember anything from that day.

[music intensifies]

People that had seen me that day

said that they talked to me,
but I wasn't right.

[music intensifies]

[tense instrumental music plays]

And I had a lack of sleep, lack of meds.

Alcohol was involved.

[music intensifies]

[music crescendos]

[sirens wailing]

[somber melodic music plays]

[indistinct chatter]

I woke up the next day
handcuffed to a bed.

[indistinct intercom chatter]

I shot myself under the chin.

It blew my front teeth out.

All that's holding my face together
is metal plates.

[eerie instrumental music plays]

When they told me

that the person that was gone was Inez…

[coughs]

It devastated me.

Because at first,
I was in complete denial.

And I guess, uh, still to this day,

I am.

[somber melodic music plays]

I loved her,

and I wouldn't… [sighs]

I wouldn't have done it…

without there being other variables.

And I believe

that my combat service and PTSD

was the cause.

I was proud to have served.

I was proud of everything
that I have accomplished.

But honestly, because of what happened,

I would not have served
one day in the military.

[car horn honking]

[man] For the past 24 odd years, uh,

I've had experience treating veterans

from a variety
of different combat exposures

from Afghanistan, Iraq, Vietnam.

I wish that this was an isolated case.

Unfortunately, when you look
across the United States,

they're happening way more often
than they should be.

My name is Dr. Steve Bruce.

In 2016, I was contacted
by Toby Gregory's defense attorney

to evaluate Mr. Gregory in jail,

uh, determine whether or not
his trauma history

may have become a part
of why, uh, his behavior became so erratic

that he ended up
shooting his wife that day.

[dogs barking]

[grim instrumental music plays]

I met with Mr. Gregory, uh, in jail
for several hours

in a room with just he and I.
No attorneys were present.

Mr. Gregory's medical records
were significant

for a trauma history
while in the military.

While in combat in Afghanistan, uh,

Mr. Gregory suffered
from a traumatic brain injury.

He stated that he started
to become more paranoid

such that he thought the soldiers
that he was working with

were becoming part of the enemy.

It puts, obviously, them at risk
and himself at risk

to the point where his commander
noticed that paranoia going on as well.

And they removed him
from active deployment

and sent him back home.

[somber melodic music plays]

When I asked him about the events
of the day of the shooting,

he indicated that he had
very little memory of the shooting itself.

He did indicate that he had been drinking
very, very heavily

prior to seeing his wife
and meeting her at the hotel.

The fact that he was intoxicated,

you're usually not going to remember

the events surrounding that
particularly well.

[bird squawks]

With his long history of alcohol abuse

in response to the triggers
that he's having,

I'm confident that these significant
psychological and PTSD symptoms

contributed to him shooting his wife.

If he did not have PTSD,

I'm certain this does not happen.

[cryptic instrumental music plays]

My job is not to excuse or justify
the crime that they have committed.

My job starts and ends
with the evaluation.

What happens after that
is up to the judge, the jury,

to determine the outcome.

[music intensifies]

I was expecting this case to go to trial.

I was expecting to be cross-examined
by the prosecutor.

I was expecting all of that.

So, the fact that a plea agreement
was made, uh, was surprising to me,

particularly
in a first-degree murder case.

[somber melodic music plays]

[birds chirping]

[woman] The district attorney
really, really, really let us down.

They agreed to a plea deal
without letting any of us know.

Why couldn't we have a trial by jury?

That would have been the only thing
that would have given us some peace.

Though it would've been a tough one,

that's what we were prepared to do

that was justifiable for Inez's murder.

My name is Tonya, and I'm Inez's aunt.

Inez and Toby lived here with me
for about three months

while they were searching
for a place to live.

They had a… a little baby boy named Blake.

He was adorable.

Inez knew that I had concerns.

It was a sad
and very controlling relationship.

He told her how to dress,
how to eat, how to move around.

It worked on her sense of being

until she believed
that she wasn't good enough,

and that's how he hurt her.

Toby always threatened to hurt people.

Toby threatened to kill me to my face
as well as all of my family.

He told my stepdad and my ex-husband

that he would pick us off one at a time
from the road and shoot us.

He didn't like us being involved with her
in any form.

He wanted total control.

Inez and I had many conversations.

I had encouraged her to try to leave
because I was worried for her safety.

She says, "I know, Aunt Tonya,
and I'm scared, too."

[eerie instrumental music plays]

Inez and Toby had agreed to a divorce

where they shared custody
of their child, Blake.

He had to have two weeks with Toby
and two weeks with Inez,

but it kept being complicated by having
a hard time getting Blake back from Toby.

Blake was used as a tool
to keep Inez in his life.

Toby was trying to take control
and that child away from Inez.

That was his goal.

So she moved back to New Mexico
to be around family,

and we convinced her to get legal help.

[grim instrumental music plays]

Inez showing up in court
with her own attorney

really angered Mr. Gregory
to the point of no return.

He was so livid with that
because he had lost control.

I shared text messages with Inez
the day that she was murdered.

She told me he's gone crazy
and that she needed some help.

She was afraid.

[music intensifies]

[Toby] I don't remember what happened
the day of the shooting.

I loved her,

and…

I think about the good things.

How much she loved the kids,
how great she was.

When they told me that
the person that was gone was Inez…

[Toby coughs]

…it devastated me.

Because, at first,
I was in complete denial.

And I guess, still to this day,

I am.

I loved her.

Mm…

What a real piece of work.

Wow.

Boy, that angers me.
I can hear that slur in his voice.

He is lying through his teeth.

Toby took that life out of anger.
He didn't get his way.

He didn't get his way in court,

and he planned it all out,
without a doubt.

[blues-style music plays]

[man] I did not think
they were a good match at all.

I always felt like
there was something wrong.

I always felt like I should have probably
reached out to her a little bit more.

To find out the end result
was awful for me.

My name is Jesse Anderla.

I served with Toby Gregory
in the Army, uh, in Fort Carson, Colorado

back in 2009 to 2012.

[somber melodic music plays]

Toby didn't really have, uh,
a lot of friends, uh, other than me.

He kept to himself.

You know, I was surprised
that he even let me into his life.

We started going, like, fishing
every now and again,

or we'd go up into the mountains
and shoot guns.

He was always a good guy to me,

and it was nice to have him as a friend.

When I first met Toby,

he told me that he was going through
his fourth divorce. [chuckles]

He was in his mid-thirties,

so I was like, "Whoa, like,
how in the heck?"

Like, how do you go through four divorces

in, you know, that short amount of time?

He was almost proud of it too.
Like, that's the crazy part about it.

[moody guitar music plays]

Me, Toby, and Inez
were all in Afghanistan.

Inez, she was a great soldier.
She was happy.

She was a great, great person.

Toby had told me that him and Inez
were essentially having an affair.

And it was honestly kind of shocking
when Toby told me that they got married.

You know, all of a sudden,

she's out of the military,
he's out of the military,

they're in Missouri,
they're getting married there,

and they had a kid.

I was just like, "Whoa, like, you know,
how is this gonna work?"

And I think I was, over the years,
his confidant.

I think that I was able to talk him down
from a lot of things

and to calm him down and everything else.

If he would have called me
and talked to me,

I think that I could have probably
prevented this from happening, honestly.

[grim instrumental music plays]

When the forensics evaluation came
from St. Louis,

he evaluated me in detail.

In that report, he stated that combat PTSD
played a part

in this shooting
and the shooting of myself.

I think it was a triggered PTSD response

with the stress, lack of meds.

That is what I feel.

That is what I believe.

It kind of pisses me off, not gonna lie.

It kind of pisses me off
that he's saying that

because there's people that literally
do have a lot of issues because of PTSD,

and to sit there
and blame this on PTSD is wrong.

So, like, with my PTSD,
I don't like being in crowds.

I don't-- You know, it's…
It's scary for me.

My adrenaline goes,
and I start sweating, and I'm paranoid.

If I had a gun in that situation,

I'm not gonna pull it out
and just start shooting people.

I'm not gonna drive across town

and be like, "I had a trigger.
Let me go in and shoot somebody."

PTSD, it doesn't work like that.

Like, nobody…

Nobody has a reaction for that long.

I love the guy, you know?
He's my buddy, my friend, right?

But no matter how much I love him,
he did this.

He committed a crime. He killed somebody.

[music intensifies]

[somber melodic music plays]

[man] To me, it was an open and shut case.

Toby Gregory got in his car angry

and took off headed towards Owensville.

It was first-degree murder.

I had no doubts about that.

My name's Randy Esphorst.

I was Gasconade County Sheriff
from 2004 through 2016.

[grim instrumental music plays]

When I arrived, I saw somebody being
loaded into an ambulance and taken away.

I went down to where the other victim was.

I took the blanket off,
and I saw a female.

Laying on her back

with multiple gunshot wounds
mostly to the head.

While I was in the parking lot,
I happened to look up and I saw a camera.

So I went to the manager's office
and asked him,

"Do your surveillance cameras work?"

And he said, "Yes, it does."

[eerie instrumental music plays]

It's hard for me to watch
because I know what's going to happen.

[music intensifies]

He got out of that car, and there are
four other doors before you get to hers.

He just walked past those
and went directly to the end room.

We found blood in the room,

so we know that she was shot
at least once in there.

But she was still able to walk
out of the room,

and…

then she just collapsed onto the ground,

and he just stands over her,
and he fires four shots,

and then kicks her in the head.

I mean, this is… rage.

This is just out of control rage.

It's an execution.

I mean, there's no other word for that.

It's an execution.

[grim instrumental music plays]

It should have been first-degree murder,
and it should have been life.

Or it should have been
the needle in the arm.

[somber melodic music plays]

[man] It says in the Bible
that I'm not supposed to hate anybody.

I have a hard time with that one.

Because I have a lot of hatred and anger
inside of me for that person…

[inhales sharply]

…and I don't like the way
it makes me feel.

I'm John Tulk.

Inez was my only daughter.

When Inez came to me
and told me she was joining the military,

it kind of scared me

because Desert Storm was going on
and things like that.

But I felt real proud of her
because I knew that's what she wanted,

she wanted to serve her country.

And then she met Toby.

Yeah, I told Inez
that I didn't trust the guy

and I didn't feel right about the guy.

I had bad vibes, which I don't usually
have those with very many people, but…

but he gave them to me,

and, uh, she said, "No, it's okay."

So, I said… I told her just to keep
her eyes open and be real careful.

[grim instrumental music plays]

He was very insecure and cowardly,

and he would threaten people.

Well, not to their face,
but behind their back,

saying, I don't know,
"I-- I can kill anybody."

"I can get away with it
because I can claim PTSD."

That was one of his biggest things.

Get out of jail free card
is what he considered it.

I received a phone call

explaining that they had
signed a plea deal,

which really bothered me

because this man murdered my daughter
in cold blood.

I told the lawyer on the telephone

that he told me how he could kill anybody

and claim PTSD

and he would get away with it.

The lawyer told me,
"Oh, I didn't know that."

I said, "Because you never called me."

They'd never called me
to ask me questions.

[birds chirping]

[somber melodic music plays]

Inez was, uh, the most important thing
in my life, and…

to know I… [gasps]

…can never hold my daughter again

just tears me up.

[quavers] It hurts my heart
more than I could ever explain. It's, uh…

I…

I just miss my baby.

Man… [sighs]

[sniffles]

[sighs]

[crickets chirping]

[grim instrumental music plays]

[train whistles]

[Toby] I can understand
why people might not believe

that I don't remember anything
from that day.

I don't know if I was on autopilot
or what was going on or…

what my state of mind was.

And that is something that I'll have
to live with for the rest of my life.

Nobody is gonna punish me
more than I punish myself.

Um, every day, I'm reminded
by the scar on my face

that even though
I can't remember the events,

I know what took place.

Um, why I'm here.

[cryptic instrumental music plays]

PTSD, it's more of an immediate thing.
So, as soon as…

Like, "Okay, this happened.
Now I have this reaction," right?

And then, once you're out of that moment,

it, you know, you start to calm down
and your adrenaline starts to drop.

If I had a gun in that situation,

I'm not gonna pull it out
and start shooting people.

Like, nobody…
Nobody has a reaction for that long.

I'm not gonna lie, it-- It hurts.
It hurts to hear him say that.

PTSD is not

an instant.

PTSD could last for days.

It's about the event that's taken place,
uh, where your mind's at.

I don't know what played out
from that morning till when this happened.

You can't say,

"Hey, if I had a gun, I'm gonna…
I'm not gonna do this."

How do you… How do you know?

Because you've never been
in that situation where you had it.

[eerie discordant music plays]

I think I should be released.

I mean, I-- I want to be released.
Nobody wants to be in prison.

But my intention is not to just…
to go back out and try to live my life.

My intention is to go to the VA Hospital.

I know what some people will say.

They will say that, "He shouldn't be out.
He should never be out."

Um…

"If he did it once,
he's gonna do it again."

But this prison environment
is another battlefield.

Treatment for PTSD
is non-existent in here.

I can't talk about things
that I'd done in combat

because they might take it the wrong way.

I've been told this,
that I can't mention none of this,

but this is what I need to talk about.

[interviewer] But if you're released

and you haven't had the treatment
that you say you need,

is that not dangerous
to let someone like you out?

It's…

It's, um…

I'm not…

I'm not gonna answer that one.

[music continues]