All language subtitles for Nathan For You S01E06 Funeral Home Burger Joint Skydiving.DVDRip.HI.en.COMCNTL

My name is Nathan Fielder

and I graduated from one of
Canada's top business schools

with really good grades.

Now, I'm using my knowledge

to help struggling
small business owners

make it in this
competitive world.

This is Nathan For You.

Of all the ways to make
money with dead bodies,

perhaps the most popular
is running a funeral home,

and with people dying daily

from everything
from heart attacks

to collapsing during
a stock photo shoot,

the funeral business has
never been more profitable.

Just ask Candy Boyd.

She's been running
Boyd Funeral Home

in Lynwood, California,
for over 15 years,

and today, I paid her a visit

with an idea to make
her business even better.

Unbeknownst to Candy,
I went by the night before

in my usual disguise
to scope things out,

but my beard was coming loose,

so I was too
afraid to go inside,

so I ended up just
checking out their website

to learn more
about the business.

So basically, your
business is death.

Correct. Correct.

And that must be
bittersweet for you.

I must say, it is.

- Bitter because people die...
- Right.

- And sweet...
- Right.

Because you're making money.

- Exactly, exactly.
- So it's hard,

because you maybe get
excited when someone dies.

- Right, exactly.
- Because you're like,

- "I'm gonna profit from this..."
- Right, exactly.

- But it's sad because, "Oh..."
- Exactly, exactly.

They're, like, losing.

- Exactly.
- So it's a balance.

It's a balance.

NATHAN: Money was
clearly important to Mrs. Boyd,

and I saw she was missing
out on some profitable services

to offer her customers.

The plan. I wanted her to give people
the option of buying more friends.

- Buying more friends?
- Basically,

when you die, you want to have

a lot of people
come to your funeral,

because it shows
that you're well-liked.

- Correct.
- So I think you should

give people the option
of paying for actors

to be family or
friends at a funeral.

- Oh, I see, I see.
- Like, to fill the room.

- Do you understand?
- Yeah.

And it could be a very
profitable add-on service

- to offer to people.
- Well, I mean,

it is pretty interesting.
I don't know...

I'd love to demonstrate for
you what it might look like.

- Oh, sure. That'd be great.
- And maybe that would help sell it to you.

I'm not saying "no." Let's just
see what happens, and, you know...

NATHAN: To demonstrate my idea,

I needed to assemble
a dream team of actors

who know how to conduct
themselves at a funeral,

so I met with some professional
actors to pick out the best.

- This widow just lost her husband.
- Okay.

So make her feel better.

I'm sorry about your husband.
I'm sorry about your loss.

And maybe you'd
hug her and kiss her.

Please call me if
you need anything.

NATHAN: So you can do
a lot of dialects, you wrote.

Yes, I pick up
people's languages

without even trying.
I don't mean to, I...

It says "Canadian" you can do?

Canadian, um...

Canadian is a lot like British.

- I'm Canadian.
- Are you Canadian?

- Yeah.
- Well, you sound normal.

A child is running up
and down the aisles

during the service.
How do you handle this?

You are a little (BLEEP)!
Just go back to your seat,

or I'm gonna tell
your (BLEEP) parents!

I am Sean Connery.

I want a massage.

I live up in the desert.

NATHAN: Now that I
had selected my actors,

I wanted to
demonstrate for Candy

what a funeral service
with fake family and friends

might look like,

so spent the night
writing a script

for the funeral of
a fake dead guy

and sent it to all the actors.

The next day, we arrived
at the funeral home

rehearsed and in wardrobe,

and with the actors in place,

it was time to
bring in Mrs. Boyd.

The woman in the black hat

- is the widow.
- Mm-hmm, the widow.

And she hired seven actors

to make it look like
that man who just died,

who's getting in the casket,
was more loved than he was.

- Okay.
- Okay,

and I think we're
ready to begin.

We are gathered here today

to remember Sid
Howard Doubletree,

and if the attendance
today is any indication,

Sid was a very loved man.

Would anyone like
to say a few words?

Sid was such a good guy.

He once gave me
$1,000 for no reason.

I'm so sad. I am so sad.

I am so sad.

I am so... Sad.

(SOBBING)

(CRYING) I can't
hold it in anymore.

Me and Sid were lovers.

We've been having an
affair for the last seven years.

I knew it!

Every night he said he was
going to 7-Eleven, he was with you!

- I'm sorry. (CRYING)
- We cannot be mad.

Sid was cursed...

Cursed with the gift of
having too much love to give.

Now, please join me in
singing Death Happens,

an original funeral
song by Nathan Fielder,

as you come up to view the body.

♪ He's so sad

♪ Death is so sad

♪ Death is so sad but it happens

John, your eyes are open.

You need to keep
your eyes closed.

You're moving your legs too.

You're supposed
to be dead. Do you...

I didn't realize I was moving it. I
thought I was absolutely still, so...

Okay, you're talking now.
You can't even do any of that.

Okay, just... I need you to
be... I'm just gonna close this,

because I think it'd just
be better for the rest of us.

♪ Death is so sad

♪ Death is sad

♪ But it ha-appens

♪ Things get better
for frie-iends ♪

So how soon do you think
you'll be implementing it?

You know what? I need a
little more time to think about it.

But like I said,
more "yes" than "no."

I don't know if you did,
and you don't have to,

but sometimes,
when I do these things,

people will have a
"thank you" gift for me.

- I don't know if you...
- Okay, no, I guess not.

Okay, well, in these situations,

we just have something prepared.

- Mm-hmm.
- So maybe I could

give it to you and
you could hand it to me

so it's like you're giving
it to me on camera.

- Okay. Okay.
- Okay, so I'll just...

I'll just grab it.

- Okay.
- Okay.

- So I'll... I'll come in again.
- Okay.

- Oh, hi, Mrs. Boyd.
- Hi. Hi, how are you?

- Hi, great.
- Good, good. Good to see you.

- What is this?
- This is a...

A small token of my appreciation

for the service that you
brought to my attention.

Oh, my God. Thank you.

You really didn't
have to do this.

Yes, we do.

Scissors?

Mm-hmm.

Why did you get me scissors?

Everybody needs a
pair of scissors, I guess.

Are these used or are they new?

- No, they're new.
- Oh, okay.

Great, it was... Thank
you for the scissors,

and I hope you use the idea.

- Thank you.
- Okay.

- Bye.
- Bye-bye.

NATHAN: People will do
anything to get the best,

so why does the place
that claims to have

the best burger in Los
Angeles completely empty?

Gustavo Munoz owns L.A.
Burger in Los Angeles, California,

and he has the
best burger in town.

I have the best burgers in L.A.

NATHAN: So I paid
him a visit with a way

to get everyone
to try his burger.

My plan was a
guarantee. Try the burger,

and if you don't think
it's the best in L.A.,

Gustavo will give you
$100 cash of his own money.

I don't know.

- It is the best, right?
- It's the best.

Okay, great. So then
what's the problem?

- Well, I'm worried about the...
- Unless your burger isn't the best.

- Uh, well...

Wait, is your burger the best?

Of course, it's the best.

'Cause no burger place has
ever made a claim like this,

but you can, 'cause
you're the best.

Well, it sounds good.

- Yeah - It sounds good.

NATHAN: Gustavo agreed to put
up his own cash for the promotion,

and it was such
an amazing offer,

that I was easily
able to land us

on L.A.'s most listened
to morning radio show.

(ON RADIO) 95.5 KLOS.

Come over, try
our... Our burgers.

If you don't like it,
it's gonna be $100 bill.

- Wow, that's impressive.
- That's...

That's a lot of
balls, Gustavo...

- Yeah.
- 100 bucks, 'cause I mean,

aren't you... I mean, when's
this promotion happening?

- It's gonna happen today at...
- Today?

- Yeah.
- I can't wait to hear

- how it turns out. Okay.
- All faith, all right.

And I trust him, because I
haven't actually tried the burger.

I don't eat red meat right now.

- What?
- What?

So I mean, when
he says it's the best,

I... You know, I
believe that it's the best.

- Okay.
- Can I ask,

how many people
are listening right now?

- BOTH: Millions.
- Millions?

- Yeah.
- Millions of people

are listening to this
right now, Gustavo.

- That's crazy.
- Yeah, that is.

Let's go to Freddy on line two.

Hello, Freddy. What do you
think of this promotional idea

that L.A. Burger's throwing on.

FREDDY: I think
it's a terrible idea.

Let me tell you my
background, first of all...

Well, I... Who cares about
your background, Freddy?

All right, next caller, please.

Steve on line two. Hello, Steve.

What do you think of this idea?

STEVE: Well, I admire, you
know, him standing by his product,

but I think that somebody
can be dishonest

and lie about the burger.
They can just say, "You know,

"I've had other burgers
I think are better."

NATHAN: I could see that
Gustavo was getting nervous

during the radio show,

so after, I had a talk with him.

So I saw you were a
little bit nervous in there.

Um, a little. (CHUCKLES)

Well, I don't want this to be
a stressful experience for you,

so I'll tell you what,
even though it's unlikely

I think people will
claim the $100,

I'll personally put up
my own money if they do,

but it's only
because I trust you

when you say it's the
best. It is the best, right?

It is the best, yes.

So we won't be paying a lot.

We're not gonna pay
that much money... At all.

Okay, so no risk
on you, it's all on me.

(BOTH LAUGH)

Now I'm a bit
nervous. (CHUCKLES)

NATHAN: The radio show
appearance seemed to work,

because when we
got back to L.A. Burger,

there was a line
around the block.

Huh? What do you think?

- It's pretty good.
- Yeah, it's very good, yeah.

All right, let's go
cook some burgers.

- GUSTAVO: Okay.
- NATHAN: And with Gustavo on the grill,

I got the crowd pumped

for the best burger
experience they've ever had.

All right, everyone.
Welcome to L.A. Burger.

The promotion is about to begin.

(ALL CHEERING)

NATHAN: And after a
couple people bought burgers,

it seemed like
Gustavo was right.

Uh, I listened to KLOS this
morning to Heidi and Frank,

but it's a good burger,
yeah. It's excellent. I like it.

Came in here and had one,

best burger in L.A.
Thank you very much.

NATHAN: I was happy to see
some people were being honest

about liking the
burger, but I suspected

others were lying
just to get the money.

I mean, I'm not a fan
of mustard and ketchup.

I think they should leave
that to McDonald's, you know?

It's leaving that
aftertaste in my mouth.

I'll be honest with you.
I'm gonna go home,

and I'm gonna brush my
teeth to try to get it out,

because it's not good at all.

NATHAN: Well,
the best way to tell

if someone doesn't
like something

is by looking at their
face when they take a bite.

MAN: There's nothing wrong
with that hamburger, man.

That is good.

Wow, do you want $100
or an Academy Award?

$100.

NATHAN: I thought some
people might be dishonest,

so I brought holy books
from every major religion

to be sure people
were telling the truth.

I do not think this is
the best burger in L.A.

I did not like the
burger, I solemnly swear.

- No, I don't like the burger.
- Okay.

Whoo, anybody got some
toothpaste, or something?

- Shoot.
- NATHAN: But still,

it didn't seem to help,
and by late in the afternoon,

I was paying out tons and
tons and tons of my own money.

I just couldn't
tell who was lying,

and when I tried to question
people, they got unruly.

Dude, I'll call a
lawyer right now

- if you're saying I'm (BLEEP) lying.
- Yeah, but why are you so mad?

'Cause you're saying I'm lying.

It's not the greatest
damn burger in the world,

or in L.A.

NATHAN: The only way to calm
the mob was to pay them out.

I'm a frugal guy, so this
was really hard for me.

This is my second
burger. It's good, like...

- Your second burger?
- Whoa ho ho ho!

The second? What
are you talking about?

- Second burger.
- It's good.

NATHAN: And by the
end of the afternoon,

I was doing whatever I
could to hold onto my money.

The burgers, well, did
not really satisfy my tastes,

and I hadn't even had breakfast.

It's getting to the point
where if we give you the $100,

we might have to
start cutting staff,

and Raquel would
be the first to go.

Who's Raquel?

She work in the kitchen.

- Oh, no.
- So yeah,

here's your $100
each. Here you go.

- It was really bad.
- Yeah.

Oh, hey, Raquel. Were
you just walking out here?

Yeah. Hi. How are you?

- Good, how are you?
- Uh, Raquel,

the promotion is costing us
more than we thought it would,

so we're gonna
have to let you go.

It's not fair.

It's fine. Have
your money. Here.

No, it's okay. Really, she's
waiting around. I mean...

I mean, no, the truth
is... The truth is, I mean,

if it's gonna get like
this, it's not really worth it.

Do you want me to take it back?
You tell me what you want to do.

Yeah, what are you
gonna do with it?

- We're gonna keep you around.
- Thanks.

Thanks. Thank... Thank them.

- That was nice of you guys.
- Yeah.

- Thanks so much. You guys are generous.
- No problem.

NATHAN: By the end of the
day, the customers left happy,

and Gustavo sold
a lot of burgers.

It seemed like everyone
came out a winner,

except for me.

How was it today?

Good. It was good.

That was brutal for me.

Really?

I lost $6,000.

$6,000?

Yeah, of my own money,
from paying people. (SIGHS)

NATHAN: It may have been
a lot of money, but then again,

it was a small price to
pay to see Gustavo smile.

Coming up, though, I
risk losing something

even more precious
than money, my life.

Sometimes, if we're
helping a business,

it's important to experience
what it's like to be a customer,

and once in a while,

that customer
experience is pretty rad.

NATHAN: Scott Smith runs
Skydive Perris in Perris, California,

and though he
loves to fall, one thing

he doesn't want
to fall is his profits.

It'd be nicer to have a
little bit more consistency

in terms of the business
level throughout the year.

NATHAN: Skydiving is
so sweet, and I was stoked

to pay him a visit to
help his business out.

- Hey.
- Hi. You must be Nathan.

- Yeah.
- Scott Smith. Nice to meet you.

Good to meet you, man.

- Skydiving, I mean...
- Mm-hmm.

That's a cool
business. Like, really,

that's sweet, so
tell me about that.

Well, skydiving, it's
our business here,

but it's also our passion.

I mean, I'd love
to do, like, a jump,

to get a better sense of
the customer experience,

but mostly just to, like,

- rock and roll and stuff.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Yeah, just, like, get out there.

Excellent. Well, we
got some paperwork

- you gotta fill out first.
- All right, sweet, man.

NATHAN: I was pumped

for my first skydive, and
this would really give me

a good sense of the
customer experience

at Skydive Perris, but mostly,

I just wanted to get on out
there and eat some wind.

So how high are we
going, like 500 feet?

Uh, no, we're
going to 12,500 feet.

(CLEARS THROAT) It's
a little bit higher than that.

Let me... Let me...
Tell you what, let me

get this adjusted for you here.

Oh, cool.

NATHAN: It was time for some
balls-to-the-wall risk-taking fun,

and even though this jump
would be a cinch for me,

I was still super stoked.

(ROCK MUSIC PLAYING)

Whoo!

(SCOTT SPEAKING)

But I'm supposed...

I think...

NATHAN: I totally forgot I
had lunch plans with my friend,

which was terrible
scheduling on my part.

Regardless, I
couldn't do the jump,

or I'd keep my friend waiting.

Sorry, I-I should have
thought of it before

and everything, I'm just
supposed to meet, uh, my friend.

- Okay. It's okay.
- It's embarrassing,

'cause it seems like an
excuse, or like I'm... You know,

an excuse for
chickening out, but I didn't.

- Okay. Okay.
- What? Why are you laughing?

Yeah, okay... I would...
I'm not laughing.

I'm really meeting
a friend for lunch.

- Okay, that's fine.
- I don't know if you're...

You don't believe me, though.

I... It doesn't matter, does it?

- No, you're meeting...
- Well, come, come.

- I'll... Like, I'll...
- Okay.

- You can meet him.
- Okay.

I really wanted
to jump. It sucks.

Oh, we'll just go back
and do it another time.

Yeah, definitely.

(SEAT BELT WARNING BEEPING)

- Wearing a seat belt?
- Yeah.

NATHAN: We arrived
at the restaurant

where I was supposed
to meet my friend,

it seemed like he
was running late.

This is so annoying.

But then I spotted him...

There he is.

- NATHAN: (NARRATING) Late as usual.
- Hey!

How's it going?
Hey, good to see you.

- How's it going?
- How's it going?

- Hey, can you help me out?
- Uh...

I need you to pretend
to be my friend.

I can pay you, like, $40?

- Okay.
- Is that okay?

- Sure.
- NATHAN: I forgot that

I owed my friend $40, so the
first thing I did was pay him back.

- So what was your name again?
- Nathan.

It's very important you
convince him you're my friend.

- All right.
- Okay? All right, come on.

- How are you? Good to see you.
- What's up, bud?

- I haven't seen you for awhile.
- All right.

Don't act too...
You're overacting.

This is Scott.

I mean, the main reason
I wanted you guys to chat

is because you're both
pretty into skydiving, so...

Do you ever see
him around, or...

What's that? Um...

- Oh, really?
- Yeah.

Oh, okay.

But you did it a bunch in Germany,
right? Isn't that where you did it most?

NATHAN: Well,
Scott met my friend,

so now he knew that what
I was saying in the plane

wasn't an excuse
for chickening out,

so we headed in the diner

where I got to catch
up with my old pal.

Tell Scott the story of when
you came out of the closet.

It's a funny story.
To your parents.

I mean, it was awkward, but...

When I came out of the closet...

NATHAN: After we
were done with lunch,

Scott asked me if I wanted
to go back and do the jump,

now that I was free.

My answer, hell, yeah.

So we drove back
to Skydive Perris,

suited up again, and
headed on that plane.

NATHAN: I was super stoked.

Finally, I'd be able
to eat some sky.

NATHAN: Once I got to the
edge, there was no hesitation.

"Three, two, one,"
and I was gone.

Wait. Wait.

It felt so good to finally jump.

Man, what a thrill.

Being up there with
the birds, so pure.

In the end, I realized
that Skydive Perris

didn't need my advice,
because their business

is all about giving
people a real experience,

and it doesn't get
much realer than this.

One side is nice and juicy
and this side is nice and juicy.

But, on this side it's got...

See... You can't

even put your nail in it,

where this side my
finger can go right in it.