All language subtitles for English Tofi

Hello sister..don't worry

No, no.. I agreed with him to meet him at the station

Of course I will gladly take care of it.

You worked hard to raise me, is it possible that I don't repay you?

You are most welcome.. Goodbye

Hello Tofi

What's wrong? Are you crying?

What's going on... are you tongue-tied?

- Inflatable Boat
- Yes!

- On foot
- Yes!

- I still had to try skydiving to get here
- I know, I know... you're right.

- I messed up on my way here
- I know it's hard

- Uncle, you are very tall. I thought I was very tall, but you are taller than me
- Yes, what can I do ?

It is normal for you to be tall like your uncle

- Let's go so I can hand you over
- What?

- I have to hand you over
- You shocked me, uncle!

- Okay.. what happened?
- The last thing I thought was that you would rat me out

- Do you really want to snitch on me?
- Which agent?

- It is true what they say that relatives are scorpions
- What are you talking about, that's Europe ?

I will sleep on the street.. I don't want you

If I had known that you wanted to take revenge on the family through me, I would not have come to you

- Okay, are you done talking?
- You want to hand me over to the police?

- I have to hand you over to the competent authority
- I don't want to go.. Leave me alone

- Come here I'm talking to you
- What do you want from me?

I have to hand you over to a refugee camp so they can get your papers

- What is this camp?
- Refugee camp

Yarmouk Camp (name of an area in Damascus)

It is more beautiful than Yarmouk camp and there are swings too
I don't know if you like this thing

- Are you making fun of me, uncle? - I'm just explaining the situation to you.

- What will happen to me in this camp?
- Don't you want to take regular papers and become legal in the country?

Oh I get it now, you mean I'm going to get residency and get paid while sitting at home without a job?

- This is what interests you!
- The jobcenter ?

Later later.. First thing I have to do is register you
Let's go

- What is that you have on your head?
- It has a distinctive appearance and movements

- I never liked it
- I am Lawrence of Arabia.. Don't underestimate me

- Let's go get the money
- You've exposed us

- I don't understand what your problem is, they will take good care of you and put you in a good home
- I don't want to

What house are you talking about?

You are trying to treat me like the people of Damascus do, as if you are trying to attract a customer. Do you think you can trick me? I am from Damascus

Let me talk and don't interrupt me please

These tricks about giving you a house and all, I know them very well. But when? After I've been here. I might stay a month, or six months, or even a year.

- The bathrooms are shared, the kitchen is shared, and the beds are on top of each other
- what's the problem?

Uncle, please, I can't live here. Frankly, I can't live with people I don't know.

- And the bad smells here, I don't want to, I don't want to, take me back to Damascus
- It's over, calm down a bit

- Calm down and take a deep breath
- Okay?!

Get it out now

- There is no hope, it seems there is no hope. Listen to me, dear
- What?

First, I'll take you to my house
- Yes, that's a good thing, why didn't you do it from the beginning?

- Why are you treatiing me like a Stepmom ?
- I said to myself, “Let him try life in Europe”

To see how people live here

- You know what, uncle?
- What?

My mom was a seamstress, and she worked hard to make you an interior designer, and now you're treating me like this, uncle

Don't rush. I promised your mother I would take care of you. But listen to me for a moment.

I'll take you home, but on one condition.

What are you doing, nephew ?
Do you have a mental problem? What's going on with you?

- What is this beauty?
- Come here, there is no room for flirting with girls here

Be careful, they might send you back to Damascus right away

- Listen to me.. I will take you home, but on one condition.
- What is it?

- Take off what you're wearing on your head
- With pleasure.

- I got it out of my head, uncle
- Okay.

give it to me a little

And sunglasses, take them off, so I can see you

Oh, turns out you're bald.
No problem, let's go home

Welcome home my nephew

What a beautiful neighbour you have, she is very charming and attractive

- Be patient, it's not nice to be tasteless
- I'd like to get to know her.

- Okay, I'll give you her number
- Are you serious?

- You want to see the girl directly, take her number and have children right away!
- Is her father an important responsible person, so that I don't get close to her?

Her father is a very high ranking official here in Security Branch 76, be careful and don't get involved.

But let me tell you something, I've been in this building for 15 years

I have a good reputation and I am respected among people
I don't want any problems

I don't want the girl to come up to me with a baby and ask, "Where's Tofi?" You know what I mean? I don't want stories like that

I mean that she is looking for the father of her child

May God keep us away from what is forbidden, uncle, I did not mean this, I just want to get to know each other and have innocent friendships

- Okay, I see you understand. Go ahead
- Thank you

- Welcome, my nephew, welcome
- Thanks

This is my home, make yourself comfortable, put your bag down

- Oh my God!
- This is an old colleague and friend

I want to let you know that I have registered you under my Address

What did you do to me ?

"melden" means that I have registered your address with the state

"melden" sounds like an insult, doesn't it ?

- You're funny and lighthearted
- What do you mean "melden", uncle?

- It means that I registered you with me, there is no longer any need for you to go to the refugee camp
- A sponsor !

It's like we're in the Gulf, you're my sponsor, have you sponsored me now?

- Yes, I am your sponsor, my nephew Hopefully you will be worthy of this sponsorship
- Of course, uncle, I will be.

- What will happen next?
- Nothing will happen, everything is fine

Only when the residence permit is issued, you will take it
That means, now you live with me, and all your affairs are arranged.

Do you need something ?
Something missing, my nephew?

Actually, uncle, I need to go to the toilet, it's very urgent

- Oh, I remember now, it's a big deal, you seem to be in a big hurry.
- Yes uncle

Okay, when you come in, go left

Good

Yes, from here, you are new, you do not know the roads yet

- Uncle
- What?

Where is the Bidet Sprayer ?

Bidet Sprayer ?!
I don't have a bidet sprayer, have you tried toilet paper?

Oh my god! Do you really just wipe with toilet paper ?

- Yes, that's the type I am
- Are you pretending to be proud?

Yes nephew, I am a proud

On the way here, I thought I smelled something, and it turns out it was you.

Is this the level we're going to discuss now

Dear, there are scented wipes for your sensitive butt, but the result is still the same

If there is no water like a fountain

Yes exactly

And it gets very clean, then I wipe with tissue

- Don't worry, there's nothing to worry about
- Pretending to be proud !

I spoke to the company and they will install a small river next to the toilet so you can flush, got it?

Are you making fun of me?

No, my nephew, but you really pretend too much
Have you become more of a European than I am?"

If you want, there is an empty water bottle
fill it with water and clean your butt

Do you have an empty bottle for the next few days?
I just pooped, and I'm going to take a shower now

Oh my god, that's so disgusting

Look, the bathroom is on the right

Right?
Yes, right here

Since you're new here, you don't know the right and left roads

Should I seek God, pray for the Prophet, or what should I do ?

- How was your shower?
- May God bless you, my uncle

Thank you, it feels great.

Nothing beats the feeling of taking a nice shower at a time like this

Isn't that a T-shirt ?

It was a T-shirt, but as you know, uncle, my muscles are big

- Looks like you took the sleeves !
- I cut them.

I feel unlucky today

Let me introduce you to this simple and healthy European breakfast

This is a kind of cheese called "Gouda," and this is similar to our "qatayef"; it's called "struggdal"

This bread is so delicious, it's called "Brotchen".

Nice stuff! Bananas are well known
Do you know what a banana is? You have bananas in Syria, right?

Here is a simple salty dish, and here is whole milk—something very healthy

- Do you call this breakfast?
- Yes, my nephew, of course

What kind of breakfast is this, uncle?
You say it's a healthy breakfast? Look how skinny you are

Where are ful medames, hummus, labneh, oil, za'atar and olives ?

- Shanklish and 12 fried eggs?
- Oh my God... I misss those days.

Why don't you bring such food?
Don't they sell Syrian food here?

Yes, but I don't like to eat it very much, I don't prefer it

Okay, I'm going to do a "reset" for you, like a reset button

This isn’t food, uncle. I want to fix your life. This is not food at all

I've been living here for 25 years, and now you think you can fix my life?

I'm comfortable and happy, I love these foods, and I enjoy this atmosphere. Do you understand?

If you like it, welcome... Enjoy!

But changing my life on your first day here isn’t acceptable
Are you my wife?

I didn't get married just to hear things like this

My mom was a seamstress, and she worked hard to make you an interior designer, so this is how you repay her, uncle?

Should I return the Favor by changing my breakfast ?

- Well, starting tomorrow, I will change the breakfast
- What a sexy neighbour

Do you want to drink milk ?

- Uncle, I will eat this breakfast, but from now on, I will change it
- Okay.

- Is there something wrong ?
- What is this ?

It's a chocolate bar, it's a TV remote

But there are no buttons numbered 1, 2, 3, 9, or 0 on it

This is just for the TV, because I only have four or five channels, so I don't need all these buttons

- Don't you have a digital device or a receiver?
- No

- Arabsat or Nilesat?
- No, there’s no such thing here. Why are you asking ?

I am watching a dubbed Turkish series on MBC

- The Turkish series on MBC at 8:30 ?
- No, At 9:30

I don't watch it, neither it nor the series at 8:30
I don't watch Arab TV at all

- Uncle, you need to bring a receiver, please, a digital one so I can enjoy
- and we I install a needle and a satellite for you so you can watch the European channels

Yes, on HotBird, so I can watch at night while you sleep

Will you stay this crazy?
You're in Europe, and you still want European channels!

Dear, put something on now. Let’s go buy some things, I'll get you sweaters and clothes

- Please, I need (Shahid) subscription to watch a dubbed Turkish series
- Thank you

Give me your sweater please

- I’m not going to cut her sleeves
- Thank you very much

- Go ahead, dear, walk
- May God bless you, uncle

- Oh my, she's so pretty
- Do you ever stop flirting?

- You're in Europe now, stop
- Where am I?

- You are in Europe
- I know

You can’t act like this. You need to be sensible
don’t overreact when you see a girl

Listen, girls here don’t like this behavior

What is this girl filming?

- What now, uncle?
- I came with you to buy you new clothes, There are many shops here

- Do you know, uncle?
- What?

My nickname was (Alain Delon) Al-Jahiz area

Because your hair is beautiful, just like Alain Delon's

- There is simply an uneven distribution of hair on my body
- that's the problem?

This market is crowded, there’s more than one store here

- Take me to Stefanel
- Stefanel? What is this? We don't have a "Stefaniel"

- "Ice cube"
- "Ice cube"? Do you mean Ice cream shop ?

- Well, what about (Magilla)?!
- Is this a store that sells abayas ?

No, they were European clothing brands that were brought to Damascus

They were fooling you, there's no such thing
It's just nonsense

You have a store called H&M, it's good and cheap

Hajj Muhammad ?

Hajj Muhammad!!!!
Well whatever you want to call him

Do you want to go there ?

- Yes, take me to Hajj Muhammad
- Let's go then.. Enough chatter and nonsense

- Walk and don't embarrass me
- I didn't like anything, the clothes here are very ugly

You are right, because European Fashion is not up to your level ?!

Look at the clothes, there are no strings hanging from the jackets and pants in the window

- You prefer the style of Al-Salihiyah (a Market in Damascus)
- Of course, this is the right market

- What are these clothes ?
- My dear, you've worn me out

I feel like I need to eat something sweet

- Let's eat ice cream, then look for clothes
- Where is the ice cream shop ?

- The shop is right in front of you, Come on
- Let's go.

- What a beautiful girl -
I know you don't know the ways.. Come here

- What a beautiful girl
-Concentrate with me, you idiot

- Do you want chocolate or milk ice cream? What do you want?
- I want the pretty girl's ice cream.

Do you want to keep this preoccupation with women going?
What do you want to eat?

I want (tutti frutti)

What is this Tutti Frutti ?
We don't have Tutti Frutti here

You can find it in Damascus, it's ice cream and strawberries

- How about I bring you some Damascene ice cream?
- Is there any here?

- Yes, he has a branch here
- Where?

Don't piss me off, just tell me what you want

- Do they have mango flavour?
- Yes

Then bring me the strawberry flavor

- What a beautiful girl
- Stay here

Good

How does it taste ?

- Very delicious, uncle
- Enjoy!

It's really delicious

- Oh, disgusting
- Is there something strange about the taste ?

- I don't mean the ice cream, but a girl passed by here
- What's wrong with her?

She was wearing a short skirt, and her leg hair was clearly visible
Her arm hair, from my perspective, looked very thick and noticeable

That's so disgusting, why don't she use hair removal or laser ?

Stop talking please

Listen, there are a lot of things I overlook, but this is a very sensitive topic in Europe

- You can’t talk about these things; they consider them a form of sexism
- What?

- Sexist towards men
- Of course

A man remains a man, and a woman remains a woman, no matter how long it takes
Please stop this nonsense

Listen to me carefully, don’t talk about these things
Please, you have no right to interfere with anyone

Girl or guy, don't interfere in anyone's life

Wearing an earring, wearing nothing else, or barefoot, it's none of your business

Look there, a young man in a dress?

- Why do you care about him? Let him wear a dress, he's free
- He's not a real man, he's just a male

- Don't interfere in other people's affairs
- I didn't like his appearance

Why are your shirt buttons unbuttoned
and why are you wearing a necklace ?

This is my necklace with the Taurus symbol on it, my friend in Damascus gave it to me

- Are you a Taurus?
- Yes

- You really act like a Taurus
- Get away from me, you fly

Just as no one interferes in your affairs, you should not interfere in the affairs of others either

I'm listing to you, but this fly is driving me crazy

Please I don't want to hear this talk at all

Because this topic really provokes me

- If you like it, welcome, if you don't, go back to Syria
- Maybe I spilled something on your shirt

You've spilled your whole life onto me

- What a pretty girl in green
- Damn you

- Oh God, what a beautiful girl
- Come on

- I see you flirting
- The girl is very beautiful

Why are you acting like you've never seen any women in your life? Stop it please

You made me forget, I put your clothes in the car, and forgot to withdraw the money

- Are my clothes in the car?
- Yes, in the car. I'll go get the money and come back.

- Warm?
- I turned on the air conditioning in case it was hot

- I'm going to ATM to get the money and come back.
- What is Tom and Jerry ?

(ATM) automated teller machine Do I have to explain everything to you ?

-Stay here and don't move
-Okay, I'll stay here

How beautiful is the girl in white

My nephew, what are you doing here?
Didn't I tell you to wait for me?

- What's wrong with this idiot?
- What's wrong with him?

Is he lost? Did someone close to him die? Why is he complaining?

He’s just singing

- He should sing at home
- He sings to earn a living, this is his profession, he sings opera songs

- Opera songs?
- Yes, Opera

I didn't like his voice

because when you grab the microphone and sing 'Lolaki' (the Arabic song) to us, that’s your vibe and style

Walk, walk

- What a beautiful girl! Marry her to me, uncle
- Stop it

God, what have I done to deserve this punishment ?

What did I do, I just want to understand

I just need...

I just need a miracle to get rid of him

(sings a silly song of his own lyrics)

Hey Bro, I missed you so much

What a beautiful girl

I am now standing in front of a large castle that looks like (The Hunchback of Notre Dame) or maybe something out of a cartoon

How beautiful are Chinese girls ?

I don't know, here the world is different, another world

There are countless women

No, my uncle isn't with me
he went to park the car

Beautiful girl..

Okay, you go now I'll talk to you later,
I'm very busy

What a beautiful girl, but the guy with her looks disgusting

- What is this, uncle?
- It's the iPhone.

- This is not normal, it is very cheap
- Yes, it is affordable

it cost 1,500 euros, and there are no customs duties on it

- What does "customs" mean?
- That means the phone costs 1,500 euros, and its tax is 2,000 euros

- It ends up being twice its price
- There’s no such thing here, you just pay a 16% tax

That's all?

- Does this price include tax?
- Yes, exactly.

Yes, it's really nice

Where do we go now? do we go from here?

I'm thinking of going and getting this pretty girl's number

Don't make me slap you. Enough; stop your silly moves now

The girls are so pretty here

- Where are you going, the light is red?
- Let me go

Leave it, you're complicating things too much

Stay standing, uncle

Oh my God, Hey uncle, the girl is beautiful

Damn you

- What took you so long ?
- You must not run a red light

You ran a red light.

What would happen if I run the traffic light?
What a beautiful girl

- This is considered a violation
- I haven't seen a traffic policeman on the road

Do you want to get caught by a cop? You're lucky no one is around

- I'm talking about the coming days
- Are the police hiding here ?

Yes, he hides so you can't see him

- Okay
- Please stop that, let's go

Uncle ?

- Yes
- I have a question

You haven't taken me to any party, not even once

- I want to party like they do in the movies
- I'll take you to a tent with "dancers"

Stop this nonsense

What a conservative uncle I have ?

- My nephew, these are my friends and neighbours
- Alright

They make the most delicious "Schnitzel" in all of Germany

What is "Schnitzel" ?

Schnitzel

Schnitzel means a piece of scallop

Well, uncle, say scallop, why all this pedantry?

You know me, I'm European and I've been living in Europe for 25 years so we like to be pedantic, please excuse me

Anyway, he doesn't speak English, so I'll order you food in German

Don't worry, I'll order you the whole menu, because you eat everything

Well, order me cheese borek and "Hummus"

Sure, with or without meat ?

No, without meat

Because hummus needs schnitzel on it

Hi Saad, how are you?

Everything is fine, thank you

This is my nephew Tofi

Nico (in Arabic means 'Fuck Him')

Hello Tofi

When did he come?

Monday (in Arabic means 'Gay')

Oh, great

- Would you like to order as usual?
- Yes, but water without gas please

And he? (Er in Arabic means 'Penis')

same thing

- Okay, everything is clear
- Thank you

He Looks friendly

Uncle, where is the toilet ?

Here, go inside on the right

I want to apologise for what I will do

It's very normal to poop

Hey dude

I will make your mother cry over you

Are you an animal, brainless muscles how do you beat this guy ?

You sat down and started cursing me in front of him, you told him I am gay and then you said things I don't know what they were

Then he was like, "Yes, he is." And then you... you told me to sleep with him
That's not right

Did I curse? We were speaking in German—I would never curse my nephew!

- I don't know how to deal with you
- Is that how you spoke German?

- Do you think we were speaking Sanskrit?
- He said to you in Arabic, “Hello Saad, how are you?” I thought he was cursing me in Arabic

- I only taught him those two words
- I didn't know that

You are ignorant, stupid and you do not understand

- You should go and apologise to him
- Who is this beautiful girl?

You should apologise, damn it, you stupid idiot

- Don't push me
- Tell him (Enschuldigung) I'm sorry

- Enschuldigung
- Inshallah

All is good !

- Are you okay?
- Go now

I apologise to you Nico

You are such an idiot

Hello (Abu Al-Layl), How I miss Al-Jahiz's garden, espresso coffee, and marshmallows

I swear to god, I missed you so much

I'm fine, everything is fine, do you hear me?

It seems your internet is weak
Here in Germany, the internet is 10G

I'm fine, everything's fine, bro
I swear my Uncle is the best

I'm only lowering my voice because my uncle is sleeping, and I don't want to wake him

If you need anything or money, let me know
My uncle can transfer it to you, he's a wonderful person

God bless him and keep him with us

Isn't that Fofo?
The girl in pink

There is a two-hour difference between our time zones

2 hours

Yes, only two hours

So, I'm going to sleep now because I'm feeling sleepy
Say hello to everyone, and take care

it fair for me to disturb my uncle any further?
He's asleep

Go, I ask you to give me patience

How do I deal with this boy?

Boy, young man, man??!!

Human? I don't know how to deal with him

Oh God

How much I love cars

This time I'm not the one who ruined it

What is this? Did he put a sticker on the car ?

My uncle doesn't know how to drive, I know how to drive

Here is (The Fast & Furious)

I swear if my uncle was in Damascus

The cost of repairing it in the (Baramkeh) area will be only 200 Syrian pounds

Germany ?

(Singing a song from a Syrian TV series)

- What is this?
- This is Syrian breakfast, uncle.

Nice

- Thyme, olive oil, boiled eggs, Makdous
- I know it

- Cheese I don't know what it is, but it's delicious
- Yes, this one is delicious

These are labneh balls, I don't know why they are small, but Europeans are soft
we Syrians are rough, our cheese is bigger

- How did you bring them? - By ca.....

I went on foot

- How long did it take? About 10 minutes or 15 minutes?
- Half an hour

- It takes a quarter of an hour each way
- No, that's too much

- I went to get the food and came back
- Where did you get the money?

- What?
- Where did you get the money?

- When I was on my way to Europe...
- You took a long time to answer!

- If you recall, you sent money to my mom before
- Yes.

I had a little extra, so I brought you breakfast, which I paid about 20 or 30 euros for
I’m not sure how much exactly, and that’s all

Uncle, why are you talking? Don’t talk while eating

I ate a little of this bread, I know you don't find me disgusting

Let's eat.. Bon appétit

Sister, I wanted to ask you, I wanted to make sure about something

Did your son, may God protect him for you, fall on his head when he was young?

Or did he have any car or bike accidents?

No, everything is fine, but sometimes he acts unusually
His thinking seems unbalanced, and his mind is scattered. Do you understand?"

I don't understand him much
Sometimes he dances, sometimes he sings

Well, I got him in this condition, and that's fine

I don’t have a problem, but don’t say he wasn’t like this before
If he’s always been this way, then that’s okay

I'll take care of him, thank you

No problem, don't worry, bye

(singing a song from a cartoon series)

- My nephew, the most important thing in this country is to follow the laws
- Okay, I will follow the laws

You have to follow the rules, for example...

Look out and move aside, this is the bike path

You’re in the middle of the bike path, and a bike might hit you

Why are you yelling at me?
How do I know this is a bike path in this country?

You have to learn

Things here aren’t like in Syria !?
bikes are under and on top of cars, and they add electric motors

There's nothing like this here in Germany

- You have to be careful, because if you break the rules
- I'm careful

Focus with me, because if you break the rules here you will...

You will pay the fine

I pay it!!

Well, don't worry, I'm focused and I'm very hungry and I want to eat something

- Where am I going?
- Here you go.

The girls are beautiful here... I want to eat shawarma

You are such an unfocused person

- I remembered
- What's the matter?

Nothing, what's wrong?

I was focused on my future, and my train of thought was interrupted

I'm sorry, but there is something important you need to learn here in this country

Sunflower seeds

- Do you want sunflower seeds?
- Yes

Where is (Abu Abdo) the grocer?
I don't know why he didn't open a branch here in Germany

- We don't have sunflower seeds here
- I'm sorry

- What's wrong with these people ?
- Do you have to attack me !?

- My mother was a seamstress, and she worked hard to make you an interior designer
- Do you want to humiliate me?

Now you treat me this way!

Relax and listen to me well

Now you have something very important to learn here in Germany and that is garbage my nephew

without pointing at me

Well, the trash here is very important to separate

- How do you mean?
- It means...

Put the glass bottles in their designated container

and plastic bottles in another container

And the clothes in another container, got it?

Not everything goes together

The empty jar is where we put spices, the old shirt becomes a doormat, and the story ends

Recycling, that's fine..

But there are people here who may need these things more than you

Then, preserving the environment is very important

You've been here for 25 years, I don't know what happened to you

No need for all this complexity
Just put everything in a black bag and throw it in the container, they won’t know

Of course, this is Europe. These Europeans know everything and hear everything

Well, if they knew, what would happen?

- A violation, nothing more
- Okay, pay it

I pay everything !!

Uncle I am hungry, I want to eat shawarma

Oh my god, the girls are beautiful

Oh my god, the girls are sexy

- Stop it
- but they don't speak Arabic !

It's okay, but the most important thing is to be respectful in how you communicate with others

He looks at me provocatively, that bastard

I want to kick his ass

- Come here!
- This bastard is looking at me in a provocative way

So what? That’s okay, just leave him alone

I will slap him hard across the face and break his teeth

- if You slap him
- You'll pay the fine, I don't care

It's not about the fine, you could go to jail for this

It's about who hits first

Not the one who provoked the other or the one who spoke first

Okay, I'll provoke him to make him slap me first,
then I'll hit him hard. What do you think?

Well, aren't you hungry, nephew?

- I'm really hungry and I'm starting to feel angry
- Let's go eat because you're starting to feel angry

- I don't want I don't want I don't want
- This is the best Turkish shawarma shop

Is he Chef Burak?
I didn't like the restaurant

A sandwich made with thick, round bread, filled with salad and a little meat inside

I don't like it, I don't want it

What is this sauce that he put on the sandwich?

Yogurt with cucumber, it's delicious

We eat yogurt with Ouzi (a Syrian dish served at funerals)
May God prolong your life

- I don't want it, I don't like it, I want shawarma
- I get it

I want shawarma with garlic and pickles, and when he does that move on the fire and heats it up

Uncle, you humiliate me a lot

My mom was a seamstress, she worked hard to make you an interior designer and now you treat me this way

- I want shawarma
- Enough! Don't make me say things I might regret

- Walk in front of me, I'll bring you Syrian shawarma
- I want Syrian shawarma

Damn this day

- Bon appetite , my nephew, here you go
- That's a real sandwich

Alright

What is the name of this sandwich?

This is Syrian Shawarma

- Syrian Shawarma
- I get it, apologize

Go ahead, Bon appetite

It Needs more bread

It’s as if you put a lot of meat in it

My uncle is used to Turkish shawarma

- Thank you
- See yeah

Oh my god, what a beautiful girl!

What's wrong with you? It's as if you've never seen girls in your life
You should calm down a little.

- There are girls everywhere
- They don't speak Arabic

By God, how beautiful she is

- There is one small point I want to explain to you, it is called "Verschenke"
- Go ahead

- What is this dirty talk?
- What's wrong?

- You say the girl is a whore
- Verschenke (giveaway)

It refers to something you don't want, which you place in front of the building or house door for someone to take

- Thief?
- No, not a thief, what's wrong with you?

- Scammer?
- No, not a scammer, it means you put things you don't need

- Exploited?

You are obviously only mentioning qualities you have heard of

I was telling you that you put things you don't need in front of the house

For example, I put a lot of things out, and someone comes and takes them—quite simply
You might find something you like and just take it

- Sometimes you might find furniture for the house, like chairs
- Wait a minute, they put the furniture outside?

Yes, if someone buys a new bed, they put the old one outside, which is fine

- Bed?
- Yes

What's wrong ?

- These people seem to be financially comfortable
- Yes, they are financially comfortable, and they have no pressure, that's right

I just wanted to explain to you about these things

I saw you a few days ago entering the house with a clothesline, and I asked you, 'What is this?'"

You told me it was a metaphor for your friend, but I wasn’t convinced. Is this "Verschenke"?

Here's the bus, here's the bus, hurry up

Let's go

Pretty girls

I explained everything to you, my nephew. I hope you don't cause any problems

You tell me what this is, I didn't understand it, you didn't tell me this information

- Hello
- Hello

- How are you?
- Good, and you?

- Hi, nice to meet you
- Me too

I just saw you and thought you're the girl I want to marry

- Because I like you
- Oh, so fast?

I know that

Thanks !!!

So...

- Can I have your number?
- We just met!!

- I know that, so I'm taking your number now...
- Do you speak German?

- What are you doing, you crazy man!!!
- What?

- Wait a minute
- I'm so sorry

- I will learn German and then....

- I will learn German
- Let's go right away

- Call me when you learn the language
- How can I contact you?? I love you very much

I swear I love you

- I'm so sorry
- You're so pretty

I love you so much

Marry me please

Good-bye

After all this talk, do you understand me or not?

I understand you, I swear I understand you, easy

- Let's see
- Okay

Damn you

What are you doing ?

Get out of here, come on give him the ball

How can you talk to the kid like that ?

I swear, I'll grab him and throw him just like this !

After all that talk, he said he understood me!

My friend, my nephew, what should I even call you ?

Oh my God, you kids are so naughty!

Get out of here!
Leave now so he doesn't hit you

- Damn you
- Listen to me well

Hear me out

What do you want, uncle?

The child here is sacred
I know you're not used to it, but it's all for the child

Look, in Europe, the most important thing is...

Yeah ?

The most important thing is the child's rights

Yes !

Then comes the mother

Yes !

Then the elderly

Yes !

Then comes the dog

And finally, you

Do you get the idea? Do you understand me?

"Verstehe" Understood

What ?

"Verstehe" means Understand

Uncle, I have a question

Are you saying that rights come first here, for ..

the child and then the woman

Then the elderly

- And after them the dog
- Yes the dog

And finally you?

So you think that the dog is more important than you in this country?

Is that what I should infer from your words?"

Yes, and if he works, he's a million times more important than I am

Do you get my point?

But what if he's unemployed ?

It still remains more important than me, and you as well

both me and you

- Calm down, uncle
- It's okay, I'm used to it

You seem very happy after spending 25 years here

I've become European, my nephew

European?

Yes, I feel very..

European

Okay, you'll be fine

- Let's go home uncle
- Let's go

What a hard shot to my face

my nephew, be more of a man

- So good?
- All those muscles and a beard!?

- Yes, like this
- Good?

- A little boy hit you with a ball. Are you going to cry?
- He hit me right here

You've been hurt, nephew
I need to take you to the hospital right away

I have an appointment now
I'll go and come back, I won't be late

- Should I come with you, uncle?
- No need

I'm ready for any fight (2 on 1, 3 on 1)
Just two safe moves, and then attack

No need for that, everything is fine

It's fine, no problem, I'm just meeting a friend

Anyway, you're not a troublemaker

Because you are European

Yes, I am European, May you be the same, my nephew

(Hope not) Thank you

Do you need anything?

No thank you uncle

- See you
- Goodbye uncle, see you later

Hello, my dear, how are you?

What is this beautiful, charming talk?

I went to see my friend Stefan, you know him

II went to borrow some money from him because my nephew has been bothering me with fines

A fine for running a red light, one for fighting with someone,
and another for throwing garbage in the street

I don't know what to tell you, I'm broke

I'll translate the word 'bankrupt' for you
It's a bit difficult, and I can't explain it completely

I knew him when he was a little kid, around five or six years old

I told myself that maybe he's grown up and matured

I haven't seen him in 25 years.

But unfortunately, he is still a child, still annoying and boring.

I tolerate him for his mother's sake

She has been there for me since I was 18,
she’s the one who works hard and supports me financially

So I have to bear with him a little bit

All my appreciation and respect to you

You are so sweet

I would sacrifice my life for your beauty

See you sweetheart

What is this smell?

What is this ?

Christmas tree, ventilator, and potatoes ?!

Picture frames

What did he bring?

What has he done ?

I'm in the kitchen, uncle

What is this smell?

Holy shit!
What did you do to my kitchen ?

Uncle, this milk carton has plastic on top and paper on the bottom
How do you sort it?

I don't know, I swear, I'm lost

Waste shouldn't be separated here,
it should be sorted before disposal, with each type in its proper bag

not just thrown on the kitchen floor!

Damn

What is this trash you're putting out?

Instead of thanking me for sorting out your trash to avoid a fine, you're really not normal

My mother was a seamstress, and she worked hard to make you an interior designer, and now you treat me like a stepmother?

As for the things outside, uncle, they are giveaway (Verschenke)

Didn't you tell me that anything on the road can be collected?

I collected them all, uncle

We can make money from these giveaway items

We collect them and then sell them online

Look, don't make me lose my temper, I've reached the limit.

I'm about to explode and lose my mind because of you

Grab all these things and throw them away

And the trash you put outside,
put it back where it belongs. Do you hear me?

Don't make me lose my patience

I swear I'll turn the world upside down and send you back to Damascus

And screw the money I spent on you

Do you hear me?

I seek forgiveness from Allah the Almighty

Damn

Indeed, No good deed goes unpunished

What kind of uncle do I have?

Let him take responsibility

Instead of thanking me for sorting the trash for him!
Let him take responsibility

I'll put it all together and throw it all away

Let it get out of my head

I regret the moment I arrived in Germany

HeHe gets angry with me even though I've treated him well

I swear to God, I won't stay with him

I ask God to grant me patience and endurance

Uncle!

Oh my feet

Oh my back

Oh my feet

♫ ♬ Oh my uncle, oh my uncle, oh my uncle ♫ ♬

Counter-Strike (popular computer game)

How you doing Uncle ?

Do you have muscles like that, uncle?

What the... ?

Do you want to kill me?

You want to end my life?

No, uncle, you are precious to me
May God keep you safe

I'm sorry

What is with you?

What are you talking about?
You mean so much to me, Uncle

I'm just trying to understand you

I think to myself: This guy looks simple, but honestly, you don't

You're smart and quick-witted, aren't you?

- Are you a troublemaker?
- No, not at all

Are you naughty? How old are you now?

I'm turning 30, are you throwing me a birthday party?

Yes, I’ll bring the President of Germany and all the Presidents of Europe to celebrate you

and show them the Syrian industry

showcasing the best productions of Syria

And how did they put it in his mind that I don’t know what it looks like?

Well, why did you follow me ?

You asked me to take out the trash, so I went and did it

There was a banana peel on the stairs, and you stepped on it, then slipped
That's your problem, uncle!!

It's my fault, how did I not notice that banana peel?

Keep your eyes open as you walk

I ask forgiveness of Allah the Almighty

Good

Leave and go now, thank you

Should I return to Damascus ?

No, go find something to do

Go find something to break outside

Do whatever you want

Look uncle, there are two ants dancing the dabke

Seriously ?

Take a video of them and post it as an Instagram story

I'm just kidding with you

Can I get you some juice or something?

I don't need anything from you, thank you. Just leave me alone

Should I take you to the living room?

Wait a minute, I remembered something. Can you bring me the mail, please?

Okay uncle, Should I take you to the living room?

Hell no, I will crawl out
I will go out by myself

I don't want you to break me
Please get out and leave me alone

- I'll bring you the mail, uncle
- Yes, bring it to me

You are the best uncle

God, just one sign from you, just one sign

- Here you go, uncle. These are the mails you received
- Thank you

It's hot out, do you have any ice cream?

- Yes I do
- Where do you put it?

I put it in the oven on the right

Where do you think I'd put it? Brainstorm a little

It's not necessary to hand your brain over to God, new and unused

Just take it out of the box and use it a little bit

What are these strange behaviours?

What kind of mindset do you have?

Super stupid

Oh God, I am so happy

What happened uncle?

- Congratulations
- Thank, did I win the lottery?

Better, I guess
You've got a residency permit for Germany

- Finally, thank God
- Congratulations, my nephew

All is good

Finally, I got the residency permit!
Will they give me an apartment and a car?

An apartment, a car, and maybe even a wife for you, because they want to get rid of your requests

Tomorrow, I'll ask my mother to find me a bride to bring here

You are such an optimist!

How many rooms will the apartment have? Does it have a sea view?

Three rooms, a living room, and a basement

Really? That's good, uncle

When will I receive the apartment?

First, the money won't be disbursed until you move to the city you've been transferred to.

transferred ?

Yes, you've been transferred to a city called Cologne

It is in the region of ...

I heard about Cologne, it's a beautiful city.

Köln, say "Köln"

Colin or Colin, it doesn't matter how you pronounce it

Is the city nearby

nearby yes

Once you take the highway

Once you take the highway, drive for about 12 hours, and then you will arrive

Good

Only 12 hours, not so far away

- What did you say, uncle?
- What!?

12 hours?

Yes 12 hours

You've been transferred there, I can't do anything

I can't live without you, Uncle. The distance between us is 12 hours

Then why do I feel like you're reveling in my misfortune ?

I'm not, I'm just glad you're going to live in Cologne.

I swear, you’re lying. I’m sorry, but you really are.

Please don’t say that

My mom was a seamstress, and she worked hard to help you become an interior designer

If you were sent with the army to Deir ez-Zor, what would you say to the military commander?

I would have chosen to pay the cash allowance instead of going.

I swear I’m going to tell my mom that you have a tattoo and an earring

and that you don’t use the bidet. I really will

What are you talking about ?

Listen to me, I won’t ruin my fun. Go get us some ice cream to celebrate

I don’t want ice cream, I don’t like it. Just leave me alone

leave me alone

Finally my wish came true

And he got transferred to another city

i don't love you

I don't care ..

Please love me!

Congratulations uncle

Honestly, my nephew, I’m not sure what to tell you

Everything will be fine; it just takes time

I will miss you, uncle

I will miss you too

Sorry for causing you so much trouble

- Sorry, I didn’t wipe my nose on your clothes
- It's okay

I caused you a lot of issues and fines

I felt like I was a burden to you

That's how I felt

- I will miss you
- Me too

Write me these violations and when I find a job I will compensate you for all of them

Everything is documented, so don't worry

I apologize for the accident with your foot

Insha'Allah, you will find a job soon and be able to repay all the money

Are you okay uncle?

everything is ok i will miss you

You know how much I love you and how deeply I will miss you

- Damn you
- Excuse me, I didn’t mean to do that

Harsh

I'm so happy for you moving to Köln

You are happy, but I am not.

There is a 12-hour difference between us

Be quiet, the tram has arrived

Goodbye uncle

Good-bye

- Forgive me for everything, even for hurting your foot
- Damn you

Get out of my face, damn you

What a hassle

Hello

Yes

This is me

Yes

correct

What?

What?

a fire?

Why and how?

Damn

I left my cigarette by the window

Damn

It's okay, it's by the window.

Eventually the air will blow it out and it will end up on the street

what a beautiful girl

Damn you Tofi, You burned down my house

I'm on my way