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1
00:00:10,911 --> 00:00:13,904
You must remember this
2
00:00:13,947 --> 00:00:16,416
A kiss is still a kiss
3
00:00:16,450 --> 00:00:19,943
A sigh is just a sigh
4
00:00:22,122 --> 00:00:25,854
The fundamental things apply
5
00:00:25,893 --> 00:00:29,489
As time goes by.
6
00:00:39,973 --> 00:00:42,135
He's not fighting someone
in there, is he?
7
00:00:42,175 --> 00:00:43,541
I'll enquire.
8
00:00:45,679 --> 00:00:48,046
Is Sir all right in there?
9
00:00:48,081 --> 00:00:50,380
No, Sir is not!
10
00:00:50,417 --> 00:00:54,252
Sir is hot, and sick and tired
of getting in and out of suits,
11
00:00:54,288 --> 00:00:56,985
and taking his shoes off
and putting them back on again.
12
00:00:57,024 --> 00:00:59,858
Sir is becoming
completely brassed off!
13
00:01:01,528 --> 00:01:03,929
- That was an outburst!
- Railing.
14
00:01:03,964 --> 00:01:06,900
- What?
- Railing. He does that sometimes.
15
00:01:06,934 --> 00:01:11,429
- About trying on suits?
- He can rail against anything.
16
00:01:11,471 --> 00:01:13,940
- I wouldn't like his blood pressure.
- No.
17
00:01:13,974 --> 00:01:16,409
Once he's had a good rail,
he's quite himself again.
18
00:01:18,345 --> 00:01:20,940
Don't discuss me
when I'm behind a curtain.
19
00:01:20,981 --> 00:01:23,382
Does it happen regularly?
20
00:01:23,417 --> 00:01:25,750
Would Sir like a glass of water?
21
00:01:25,786 --> 00:01:26,754
No.
22
00:01:26,787 --> 00:01:29,279
Sir would prefer a pint of bitter.
23
00:01:29,323 --> 00:01:32,782
I'm sorry. I don't think I could...
24
00:01:32,826 --> 00:01:36,285
- I might be able to find a sherry.
- I was joking!
25
00:01:36,330 --> 00:01:39,858
He's had a rail and now he's joking.
26
00:01:39,900 --> 00:01:43,496
- Well, what do you think?
- Very smart.
27
00:01:43,537 --> 00:01:44,368
Yes.
28
00:01:44,404 --> 00:01:46,600
- Is that an opinion?
- Yes.
29
00:01:46,640 --> 00:01:48,336
What does it mean?
30
00:01:48,375 --> 00:01:51,106
- Y-yes.
- Yes, but...?
31
00:01:51,144 --> 00:01:52,144
No.
32
00:01:53,513 --> 00:01:57,177
- Yes, it's just the job?
- No.
33
00:01:57,217 --> 00:01:59,846
I know you gave up
a Saturday morning,
34
00:01:59,886 --> 00:02:02,253
but I assumed
you'd bring an opinion.
35
00:02:02,289 --> 00:02:04,224
It's hard to say.
36
00:02:04,257 --> 00:02:06,055
There's no time to write a letter!
37
00:02:06,093 --> 00:02:09,530
- Very nice.
- Very smart.
38
00:02:09,563 --> 00:02:12,032
In its own way.
39
00:02:12,065 --> 00:02:14,933
It's just a bit... a bit...
40
00:02:14,968 --> 00:02:17,130
- Go on.
- Bankerish.
41
00:02:17,170 --> 00:02:20,265
- I'd take that as praise.
- I wouldn't.
42
00:02:20,307 --> 00:02:21,969
- Boring?
- No.
43
00:02:22,009 --> 00:02:24,308
- What d'you mean?
- Bankerish.
44
00:02:24,344 --> 00:02:29,612
- I COULD get you a sherry.
- No, let's stick to this argument.
45
00:02:29,650 --> 00:02:32,347
If the suit was for you, I'd know.
46
00:02:32,386 --> 00:02:35,481
- So the suit isn't for Sir?
- Of course it is!
47
00:02:35,522 --> 00:02:37,991
- I'm sorry.
- No, I'M sorry.
48
00:02:38,025 --> 00:02:40,324
- What d'you mean, "IF it's for me?"
- No.
49
00:02:40,360 --> 00:02:43,956
You as an author, signing books,
50
00:02:43,997 --> 00:02:45,863
making personal appearances.
51
00:02:45,899 --> 00:02:48,835
A celebrity!
What's the book called?
52
00:02:48,869 --> 00:02:50,770
My Life In Kenya.
53
00:02:50,804 --> 00:02:52,432
What's it about?
54
00:02:54,574 --> 00:02:57,635
Curiously enough,
it's about my life in Kenya.
55
00:02:57,678 --> 00:03:02,514
- Oh, non-fiction.
- I'm afraid so.
56
00:03:02,549 --> 00:03:06,953
Well, come on. Help me look like
a writer, albeit of non-fiction.
57
00:03:06,987 --> 00:03:09,855
What does Alistair say?
58
00:03:09,890 --> 00:03:11,000
I brought his folder with me,
59
00:03:11,024 --> 00:03:14,825
but I was hoping
it would be a last resort.
60
00:03:17,531 --> 00:03:21,468
Right... Clothes, clothes...
61
00:03:21,501 --> 00:03:24,596
- Interviews... sex.
- Sex?!
62
00:03:24,638 --> 00:03:27,938
He believes in covering everything.
Clothes, here we are.
63
00:03:27,974 --> 00:03:32,275
- Will this be helpful to us, sir?
- It's gibberish.
64
00:03:34,448 --> 00:03:36,212
I'm afraid I don't understand it.
65
00:03:36,249 --> 00:03:37,478
Give it to me.
66
00:03:38,752 --> 00:03:43,622
- It's perfectly plain.
- Perhaps you could translate?
67
00:03:43,657 --> 00:03:47,788
Well, what Alistair is saying
is... is...
68
00:03:47,828 --> 00:03:51,128
- Yes?
- Just a minute.
69
00:03:51,164 --> 00:03:55,158
..Is smart,
but not too smart.
70
00:03:55,202 --> 00:03:58,661
Oh, stylish... but not too stylish.
71
00:03:58,705 --> 00:04:01,334
Informal, but not too informal.
72
00:04:01,374 --> 00:04:03,343
- I'm lost.
- So am I.
73
00:04:03,376 --> 00:04:05,709
Perhaps we could
find that glass of sherry.
74
00:04:08,181 --> 00:04:11,549
- I don't like being patronised.
- Not you, the assistant.
75
00:04:11,585 --> 00:04:13,952
I mean,
all the trouble he went to...
76
00:04:13,987 --> 00:04:16,684
At least HE gets paid for it.
77
00:04:16,723 --> 00:04:19,420
- He didn't sell a suit.
- I bought a tie.
78
00:04:19,459 --> 00:04:21,052
It's not the same.
79
00:04:21,094 --> 00:04:22,858
Obviously!
80
00:04:22,896 --> 00:04:24,173
What are you going
to do about the suit?
81
00:04:24,197 --> 00:04:27,065
- Save money. Not buy one.
- Oh!
82
00:04:27,100 --> 00:04:30,764
The book-buying public
must take me as I am.
83
00:04:30,804 --> 00:04:34,536
That sounds like a threat.
You WILL be cheerful?
84
00:04:34,574 --> 00:04:37,567
Unbearably.
I'll grin all the time like this.
85
00:04:37,611 --> 00:04:38,977
Stop it!
86
00:04:42,048 --> 00:04:44,142
Lionel, stop it!
87
00:04:46,419 --> 00:04:47,944
Oh, Lionel, stop!
88
00:04:49,990 --> 00:04:52,391
Stop it, Lionel! Lionel!
89
00:04:53,593 --> 00:04:56,654
Lionel, stop it! Just stop it!
90
00:04:59,933 --> 00:05:02,334
I'm not sure I like this now.
91
00:05:02,369 --> 00:05:05,567
If you're going to take it back,
you'll go alone.
92
00:05:05,605 --> 00:05:06,834
I shan't.
93
00:05:06,873 --> 00:05:11,937
The chap in the shop deserves the
rest of the day to be a peaceful one.
94
00:05:11,978 --> 00:05:13,446
I think he deserves a medal.
95
00:05:16,716 --> 00:05:19,948
You never make any
comment about my coffee.
96
00:05:19,986 --> 00:05:20,954
Should I?
97
00:05:20,987 --> 00:05:24,082
For the best part of your life
you owned a coffee plantation!
98
00:05:24,124 --> 00:05:27,219
Oh, I see. Well, it's jolly nice.
99
00:05:27,260 --> 00:05:30,788
That's what the Vicar would say!
100
00:05:30,831 --> 00:05:33,824
Does he often pop round for coffee?
101
00:05:33,867 --> 00:05:36,063
I was speaking figuratively.
102
00:05:36,102 --> 00:05:40,403
You want a dissertation
on the bean and the blend?
103
00:05:40,440 --> 00:05:44,878
- No. Just an informed opinion.
- Oh, all right.
104
00:05:51,685 --> 00:05:52,914
Excuse me...!
105
00:05:55,555 --> 00:05:56,555
Well?
106
00:05:57,624 --> 00:05:59,616
It's jolly nice.
107
00:05:59,659 --> 00:06:02,493
And it wasn't
the best part of my life in Kenya.
108
00:06:02,529 --> 00:06:05,158
Major, but not the best.
109
00:06:05,198 --> 00:06:09,363
A tiny time with you
38 years ago was the best.
110
00:06:09,402 --> 00:06:11,530
Are you chatting me up?
111
00:06:11,571 --> 00:06:14,370
Yes, I suppose I am.
112
00:06:14,407 --> 00:06:19,107
- Now, about this sex thing...
- What sex thing?
113
00:06:19,145 --> 00:06:21,512
- Alistair's folder.
- Oh!
114
00:06:21,548 --> 00:06:25,144
How To Be An Author.
You said there was a bit on sex.
115
00:06:25,185 --> 00:06:28,383
- It isn't instructions.
- Dash
116
00:06:28,421 --> 00:06:31,914
- What does he say?
- See for yourself.
117
00:06:31,958 --> 00:06:35,087
D'you mind if I pour myself another
cup of your... Jolly nice coffee?
118
00:06:40,600 --> 00:06:44,469
- I knew you'd laugh.
- Well, it isn't you, is it?
119
00:06:44,504 --> 00:06:47,030
- Is it?
- No!
120
00:06:47,073 --> 00:06:49,804
He wants you to be like an old ram.
121
00:06:49,843 --> 00:06:54,338
I could buy a T-shirt
with "Sex Machine" printed on it.
122
00:06:54,381 --> 00:06:58,546
- That's not very subtle.
- Alistair isn't subtle.
123
00:06:58,585 --> 00:07:01,680
- He means "hint at it".
- Leer?
124
00:07:01,721 --> 00:07:05,488
Suggest a steamy personal life,
but don't say it.
125
00:07:05,525 --> 00:07:07,050
- Leer reflectively?
- No.
126
00:07:07,093 --> 00:07:09,619
- Smile mischievously.
- What?
127
00:07:09,663 --> 00:07:14,465
If it's a ticklish subject, smile
mischievously, say "Hey, hey!",
128
00:07:14,501 --> 00:07:16,970
and your audience
will think "Ho, ho!"
129
00:07:18,505 --> 00:07:20,337
It isn't me, all this, is it?
130
00:07:20,373 --> 00:07:22,774
It could be. It's easy enough.
131
00:07:22,809 --> 00:07:25,210
- Show me.
- I didn't say I could do it.
132
00:07:25,245 --> 00:07:31,310
- You said it was easy.
- Well, all right. Sort of...
133
00:07:36,957 --> 00:07:38,949
- Rather good.
- Thanks.
134
00:07:38,992 --> 00:07:40,961
What were you thinking about
to make you smile?
135
00:07:40,994 --> 00:07:43,828
Gooseberry fool.
136
00:07:43,863 --> 00:07:46,628
I didn't carry on like this
to sell coffee beans.
137
00:07:46,666 --> 00:07:49,329
- It's not the same thing.
- I know.
138
00:07:50,470 --> 00:07:53,634
- That's nice.
- It won't work.
139
00:07:53,673 --> 00:07:56,507
- What kind of an attitude is that?
- Realistic.
140
00:07:56,543 --> 00:07:59,911
My Life In Kenya. It's a dull book.
141
00:07:59,946 --> 00:08:05,908
It might sell marginally more copies
than The Anatomy Of A Wire-worm.
142
00:08:05,952 --> 00:08:08,717
You've both read it.
What's your honest opinion?
143
00:08:08,755 --> 00:08:11,156
Well...
144
00:08:11,191 --> 00:08:15,094
- That's a hesitant start.
- Wait!
145
00:08:15,128 --> 00:08:17,996
- Well, it's... interesting, isn't it, Judy?
- Yes.
146
00:08:18,031 --> 00:08:20,500
- Authentic.
- Yes.
147
00:08:20,533 --> 00:08:21,592
- Informative.
- Yes.
148
00:08:21,634 --> 00:08:22,658
Dull?
149
00:08:22,702 --> 00:08:24,364
- Yes.
- A bit.
150
00:08:24,404 --> 00:08:25,997
You did ask!
151
00:08:26,039 --> 00:08:29,976
Which brings us
to one inevitable point.
152
00:08:30,010 --> 00:08:34,209
Why the hell did Alistair choose
to publish it in the first place?
153
00:08:34,247 --> 00:08:36,443
Alistair's still not in his office.
154
00:08:36,483 --> 00:08:37,849
Do you have his home number?
155
00:08:37,884 --> 00:08:39,876
No! Don't you?
156
00:08:39,919 --> 00:08:42,115
- No!
- Judith might.
157
00:08:42,155 --> 00:08:44,784
She stayed the night with friends.
158
00:08:44,824 --> 00:08:48,556
- Why the rush to find Alistair?
- It's Lionel.
159
00:08:49,796 --> 00:08:54,325
Look, you've read his book.
What do you honestly think?
160
00:08:54,367 --> 00:08:56,893
Does my job depend on my answer?
161
00:08:56,936 --> 00:08:58,871
Be honest.
162
00:08:58,905 --> 00:09:02,672
If it's between reading the book
and counting sheep...
163
00:09:02,709 --> 00:09:05,201
Yes, quite.
164
00:09:05,245 --> 00:09:07,612
Lionel knows that,
165
00:09:07,647 --> 00:09:12,551
but he wants to know
why Alistair chose to publish it?
166
00:09:12,585 --> 00:09:15,680
Non-fiction is good
for a publisher's respectability.
167
00:09:15,722 --> 00:09:19,818
Will Lionel find that flattering?
168
00:09:19,859 --> 00:09:26,095
For all his feigned indifference,
I know he cares about the book.
169
00:09:26,132 --> 00:09:30,263
If I didn't know you better, I'd
say you were falling in love again.
170
00:09:30,303 --> 00:09:35,708
You don't know me better!
Try Alistair's office again, please.
171
00:09:35,742 --> 00:09:40,009
You're much livelier
since Lionel turned up again.
172
00:09:40,046 --> 00:09:42,208
Livelier?
173
00:09:42,248 --> 00:09:45,082
Hello again.
It's Miss Pargetter's secretary.
174
00:09:45,118 --> 00:09:46,814
Is Mr Deacon back yet?
175
00:09:46,853 --> 00:09:50,813
He is... May I? Thank you...
176
00:09:50,857 --> 00:09:53,190
- The whizz-kid's whizzed in.
- Thank goodness...!
177
00:09:53,226 --> 00:09:54,421
Alistair?
178
00:09:54,461 --> 00:09:59,126
Yes, I'm fine.
Look, Alistair, it's about Lionel.
179
00:10:01,301 --> 00:10:03,634
Oh? Has she?
180
00:10:05,271 --> 00:10:06,864
No, I didn't know.
181
00:10:07,507 --> 00:10:10,409
Mind? No.
Why should I mind?
182
00:10:11,644 --> 00:10:14,079
Yes, right. Bye, Alistair.
183
00:10:14,114 --> 00:10:17,881
Yes, ciao to you too. Bye.
184
00:10:17,917 --> 00:10:21,615
- Judy's spoken to him already.
- She was up early.
185
00:10:21,654 --> 00:10:26,558
She wasn't. He was the friend
she stayed with last night.
186
00:10:26,593 --> 00:10:27,652
Ho-ho!
187
00:10:28,795 --> 00:10:33,199
- Ho-ho indeed!
- You didn't say that very joyfully.
188
00:10:33,233 --> 00:10:35,293
You want me to dance on the desk?
189
00:10:35,335 --> 00:10:37,236
He's only a bloke.
190
00:10:37,270 --> 00:10:41,002
That's like saying a wolf
is only a poodle!
191
00:10:41,040 --> 00:10:42,269
If you ask me...
192
00:10:42,308 --> 00:10:46,746
Didn't I use to run
a Secretarial Agency
193
00:10:46,779 --> 00:10:49,044
Your hints drop
like boulders on butterflies.
194
00:10:49,082 --> 00:10:51,608
Spread your wings
and do some work.
195
00:10:53,486 --> 00:10:57,890
Sorry, I was on the phone
sorting out Italy.
196
00:10:57,924 --> 00:11:00,450
The Italians have
been trying for years.
197
00:11:00,493 --> 00:11:02,223
You formed a government yet?
198
00:11:02,262 --> 00:11:07,132
No, I've got a hot author in Rome.
199
00:11:07,167 --> 00:11:10,433
So what do you think
of the new office?
200
00:11:10,470 --> 00:11:12,166
Very impressive.
201
00:11:12,205 --> 00:11:17,166
- I imagined it'd be more bookish.
- That was yesterday.
202
00:11:17,210 --> 00:11:20,942
- There's no paper anywhere.
- I commit little to paper.
203
00:11:20,980 --> 00:11:24,815
- Odd thing for a publisher to say.
- I'm a laptop man.
204
00:11:24,851 --> 00:11:27,582
Laptop computer.
You should get one.
205
00:11:27,620 --> 00:11:32,786
No, thanks.
I'm still happy with my quill-pen.
206
00:11:32,825 --> 00:11:36,159
- Iced-tea?
- Certainly not!
207
00:11:36,196 --> 00:11:38,324
Oh... No, thank you.
208
00:11:38,364 --> 00:11:41,994
- Lemon tea?
- No, thank you.
209
00:11:42,035 --> 00:11:44,766
- FT...?
- No comment.
210
00:11:46,439 --> 00:11:47,805
Nice one, Li.
211
00:11:47,840 --> 00:11:50,173
I'm sure you've got Europe to sort out.
212
00:11:50,210 --> 00:11:53,044
- Can I say what I came to say?
- Of course.
213
00:11:53,079 --> 00:11:55,014
Fire both barrels.
214
00:11:55,048 --> 00:11:57,745
Why are you publishing my book?
215
00:11:57,784 --> 00:12:00,015
It's what I do.
216
00:12:00,053 --> 00:12:03,251
You haven't got rich
by publishing books like mine.
217
00:12:03,289 --> 00:12:04,655
I didn't say I had.
218
00:12:04,691 --> 00:12:08,458
I publish books like yours,
and I'm being mega-frank,
219
00:12:08,494 --> 00:12:11,328
because it makes me feel better.
220
00:12:11,364 --> 00:12:14,823
Are you saying my book
has curative powers?
221
00:12:14,867 --> 00:12:18,861
I'm saying books like yours
are real books.
222
00:12:18,905 --> 00:12:22,171
They're not the trash
that make the bucks.
223
00:12:22,208 --> 00:12:25,178
Books like yours will last for years.
224
00:12:25,211 --> 00:12:29,911
The sort of book that
my old man used to publish.
225
00:12:29,949 --> 00:12:31,281
Oh.
226
00:12:32,518 --> 00:12:34,783
All fears laid to rest?
227
00:12:34,821 --> 00:12:39,452
Yes, I suppose so.
Thanks for being honest.
228
00:12:39,492 --> 00:12:41,893
The corners of your mouth
have gone down.
229
00:12:41,928 --> 00:12:46,457
Conceit.
No-one's proud to be a tax loss.
230
00:12:46,499 --> 00:12:48,798
You pull some
funny cherries from the bag.
231
00:12:48,835 --> 00:12:51,771
Who said you were a tax loss?
232
00:12:51,804 --> 00:12:55,002
It may be a real book,
but it won't sell.
233
00:12:55,041 --> 00:12:57,101
- Not "mega".
- Not even "mini".
234
00:12:57,143 --> 00:13:00,136
We won't know till it goes on sale.
235
00:13:00,179 --> 00:13:02,705
Have you bought that suit yet?
236
00:13:02,749 --> 00:13:03,682
No.
237
00:13:03,716 --> 00:13:05,446
You won't fight me on this?
238
00:13:05,485 --> 00:13:10,321
No. Neither I nor the salesman
could understand your description.
239
00:13:10,356 --> 00:13:14,088
Strange. I'll send you to my guy.
240
00:13:14,127 --> 00:13:16,221
We may be talking about
a different price range.
241
00:13:16,262 --> 00:13:18,925
He owes me a favour.
242
00:13:18,965 --> 00:13:21,264
I set him up.
243
00:13:21,301 --> 00:13:22,667
I see.
244
00:13:23,836 --> 00:13:26,203
How's the sex?
245
00:13:26,239 --> 00:13:28,265
I beg your pardon?
246
00:13:28,308 --> 00:13:32,609
The "Hey, hey!" The "Boy,
did I steam, but I'm not telling you!"
247
00:13:32,645 --> 00:13:35,410
I'm working on it.
248
00:13:35,448 --> 00:13:39,977
Great. Well, I'm sorry
to be a party-pooper...
249
00:13:40,019 --> 00:13:41,510
Of course.
250
00:13:41,554 --> 00:13:43,853
- Love to Jean.
- Thanks.
251
00:13:43,890 --> 00:13:45,984
Any movement on that front,
by the way?
252
00:13:46,025 --> 00:13:48,358
Yes.
253
00:13:48,394 --> 00:13:51,387
We've started calling each other
by our first names.
254
00:13:56,102 --> 00:13:57,764
Did I drag you out?
255
00:13:57,804 --> 00:14:00,899
No, it's nice to have
someone to have lunch with.
256
00:14:00,940 --> 00:14:02,841
What about
all those business lunches?
257
00:14:02,875 --> 00:14:06,971
They're just
sit-down sparring matches.
258
00:14:07,013 --> 00:14:08,504
There's a seat.
259
00:14:08,548 --> 00:14:12,610
- Are you good at sparring?
- I am now. I wasn't before.
260
00:14:12,652 --> 00:14:14,314
Oh, damn and blast!
261
00:14:15,955 --> 00:14:19,084
When we were young we had
a trick for clearing park benches.
262
00:14:19,125 --> 00:14:25,087
- So we did. So we did!
- I don't mean DO it.
263
00:14:25,131 --> 00:14:27,327
Think of it as
striking a blow for the aged.
264
00:15:10,510 --> 00:15:12,877
That was the silliest thing
I've done in years.
265
00:15:12,912 --> 00:15:15,438
- We did it rather well.
- Yes, we did.
266
00:15:15,481 --> 00:15:17,916
I'm glad you haven't
forgotten how to be silly.
267
00:15:17,950 --> 00:15:20,681
As long as you don't expect it
to become a way of life.
268
00:15:22,822 --> 00:15:23,949
Cheese or ham?
269
00:15:23,990 --> 00:15:25,253
- Ham.
- Oh.
270
00:15:29,529 --> 00:15:32,055
I went to see Alistair this morning.
271
00:15:32,098 --> 00:15:33,191
Oh?
272
00:15:33,232 --> 00:15:36,293
I asked him the "mega-question".
273
00:15:36,335 --> 00:15:40,272
Why would he choose
to publish a very ordinary book?
274
00:15:40,306 --> 00:15:41,638
Did you get the right answer?
275
00:15:41,674 --> 00:15:45,611
Yes.
But he'd had time to rehearse it.
276
00:15:45,645 --> 00:15:50,310
- I'm not with you.
- He'd been nobbled. Got at.
277
00:15:50,349 --> 00:15:51,908
Did Alistair say that?
278
00:15:51,951 --> 00:15:53,852
You got to him first.
279
00:15:53,886 --> 00:15:54,649
- No.
- You did!
280
00:15:54,687 --> 00:15:59,148
No, I didn't. Judy did. I tried to.
281
00:15:59,192 --> 00:16:03,254
If you want to get precious about that,
go to another bench.
282
00:16:03,296 --> 00:16:05,492
- I have my pride.
- Off you go!
283
00:16:05,531 --> 00:16:07,727
- Don't be absurd.
- Very well, I'll go.
284
00:16:25,918 --> 00:16:28,786
- You've got my sandwich!
- I've got them all.
285
00:16:28,821 --> 00:16:31,723
- Come here!
- I'm happy here.
286
00:16:48,074 --> 00:16:52,273
- I only said "I've got my pride".
- You made it sound like the VC.
287
00:16:52,311 --> 00:16:57,306
If you must know,
I'm touched that you tried to help.
288
00:16:57,350 --> 00:17:02,254
- Oh, are you?
- Yes, I am.
289
00:17:05,491 --> 00:17:08,290
Why don't you come back over there
and finish your lunch?
290
00:17:08,327 --> 00:17:09,625
All right.
291
00:17:16,969 --> 00:17:17,993
Thanks.
292
00:17:27,046 --> 00:17:29,481
Go on.
293
00:17:29,515 --> 00:17:32,007
You're very interesting.
294
00:17:37,290 --> 00:17:43,059
- Nice lunch?
- Oh, yes. Very nice. Nice night?
295
00:17:43,095 --> 00:17:45,462
Oh.
296
00:17:45,498 --> 00:17:48,366
You said you were
staying with friends.
297
00:17:48,401 --> 00:17:49,994
Well, Alistair is a friend.
298
00:17:51,537 --> 00:17:54,473
Mum, it's not anything serious.
299
00:17:54,507 --> 00:17:58,103
Judy, men like Alistair...
300
00:17:58,144 --> 00:18:02,309
- Yes, go on.
- I can't finish the sentence.
301
00:18:02,348 --> 00:18:06,547
- I don't know any men like Alistair.
- There you are.
302
00:18:06,586 --> 00:18:08,418
You haven't proved anything.
303
00:18:08,454 --> 00:18:10,650
- Neither have you.
- True.
304
00:18:10,690 --> 00:18:15,355
You're going out
with a "one-off" your self.
305
00:18:15,394 --> 00:18:18,091
That means we're both peculiar.
306
00:18:18,130 --> 00:18:21,658
- He IS quite sensitive.
- I know he is.
307
00:18:21,701 --> 00:18:24,193
I'm sure he let Lionel down gently.
308
00:18:24,236 --> 00:18:27,434
Yes. Good. That's that sorted out.
309
00:18:28,874 --> 00:18:31,503
I've been thinking about Lionel.
310
00:18:31,544 --> 00:18:34,446
What is this strange power
he has over women?
311
00:18:34,480 --> 00:18:37,075
What've YOU been thinking?
312
00:18:37,116 --> 00:18:39,984
We know why Alistair
is publishing the book.
313
00:18:40,019 --> 00:18:43,012
Why is HE taking
so much time with it?
314
00:18:43,055 --> 00:18:44,216
He's a pro.
315
00:18:44,256 --> 00:18:46,782
He's a RICH pro.
316
00:18:46,826 --> 00:18:50,058
So why's he acting
like Lionel's personal manager?
317
00:18:50,096 --> 00:18:51,792
He's always there for him.
318
00:18:51,831 --> 00:18:55,097
A rich pro -
helping him, pushing him?
319
00:18:55,134 --> 00:18:59,595
A rich pro would delegate that
to a junior nobody like me.
320
00:18:59,639 --> 00:19:03,576
Why put so much effort into a book
that'll make tuppence ha'penny?
321
00:19:06,879 --> 00:19:08,108
Just a thought.
322
00:19:08,147 --> 00:19:10,480
I hope Lionel
doesn't have the same thought.
323
00:19:10,516 --> 00:19:12,007
Yes.
324
00:19:12,051 --> 00:19:14,782
About this Agency you run...
325
00:19:14,820 --> 00:19:17,051
The one with
the risk-taking secretary?
326
00:19:17,089 --> 00:19:20,150
That's the one.
I wonder if you could sign these.
327
00:19:24,063 --> 00:19:25,964
You put "Jean Pargetter..."
328
00:19:33,005 --> 00:19:35,031
Nice to see you again, mate.
329
00:19:35,074 --> 00:19:36,485
Good of you
to make the time, Alistair.
330
00:19:36,509 --> 00:19:38,808
I've always got time for you.
331
00:19:38,844 --> 00:19:42,747
- That's what's bothering me.
- Sorry?
332
00:19:42,782 --> 00:19:44,717
I am a minor author.
333
00:19:44,750 --> 00:19:48,687
- Let's qualify that.
- Let's not. May I sit down?
334
00:19:48,721 --> 00:19:54,285
- Sure, but to be super-honest...
- I'll come super-fast to the point.
335
00:19:59,298 --> 00:20:01,358
Shoot.
336
00:20:01,400 --> 00:20:05,701
You told me why you're publishing
the book which I can just believe.
337
00:20:05,738 --> 00:20:11,439
But why are you personally putting
so much effort into it? Into me?
338
00:20:11,477 --> 00:20:12,775
I like you.
339
00:20:12,812 --> 00:20:16,271
To do what you're doing,
it wouldn't be enough to LIKE me.
340
00:20:16,315 --> 00:20:20,810
You'd have to be
madly in love with me. Are you?
341
00:20:20,853 --> 00:20:22,412
I'm not "bi", Li.
342
00:20:24,023 --> 00:20:27,050
No. Then tell me the truth.
343
00:20:27,093 --> 00:20:29,653
I warn you,
I'm going to sit here until you do.
344
00:20:29,695 --> 00:20:34,360
- The truth can sometimes be painful.
- So can cliches.
345
00:20:34,400 --> 00:20:37,837
- Iced tea?
- No, just the truth.
346
00:20:39,739 --> 00:20:42,368
Right... the truth.
347
00:20:53,819 --> 00:20:57,415
- I thought you liked that.
- Oh, I do.
348
00:20:57,456 --> 00:21:00,358
Not that I expected to send you
into absolute raptures.
349
00:21:00,392 --> 00:21:05,023
- I'm sorry. I was just thinking.
- About last night?
350
00:21:05,064 --> 00:21:07,090
Yes, of course.
351
00:21:11,036 --> 00:21:13,505
Well, it's a lovely evening.
352
00:21:13,539 --> 00:21:16,668
Why don't we drive up
the river somewhere, to eat?
353
00:21:18,577 --> 00:21:20,341
OK.
354
00:21:20,379 --> 00:21:22,280
Maybe go on somewhere afterwards.
355
00:21:24,550 --> 00:21:26,018
OK.
356
00:21:26,051 --> 00:21:29,988
Singapore's nice
at this time of year.
357
00:21:30,022 --> 00:21:32,321
OK.
358
00:21:32,358 --> 00:21:34,293
Did you say Singapore?
359
00:21:34,326 --> 00:21:36,761
I was trying to gain your attention.
360
00:21:36,796 --> 00:21:39,960
- Can I ask you something?
- Yes.
361
00:21:39,999 --> 00:21:42,833
It's personal.
362
00:21:42,868 --> 00:21:43,961
Excellent.
363
00:21:45,237 --> 00:21:46,671
It's about Lionel.
364
00:21:46,705 --> 00:21:49,504
Oh, look... How can I put this?
365
00:21:49,542 --> 00:21:54,503
Just for one day,
I'm up to here with Lionel.
366
00:22:04,223 --> 00:22:07,523
Woof, woof, woof!
367
00:22:08,260 --> 00:22:10,456
Ssh! Be quiet! Get down!
368
00:22:10,496 --> 00:22:12,260
- Who is it?
- It's me.
369
00:22:12,298 --> 00:22:14,096
Oh, just a minute.
370
00:22:21,373 --> 00:22:24,605
Should I have
brought a bone with me?
371
00:22:24,643 --> 00:22:26,407
A good deterrent, dogs.
372
00:22:26,445 --> 00:22:29,813
Yes. Does it attack on command?
373
00:22:29,849 --> 00:22:32,512
How did you know that wasn't a dog?
374
00:22:32,551 --> 00:22:36,454
Something to do with the click
at the start and the click at the end.
375
00:22:36,488 --> 00:22:39,356
I'll give it some thought.
376
00:22:39,391 --> 00:22:42,953
- Why are you here?
- I've work to do.
377
00:22:42,995 --> 00:22:45,464
There's more to life
than being successful.
378
00:22:45,497 --> 00:22:51,027
I'm doing some work because I've
been preoccupied by you all day.
379
00:22:51,070 --> 00:22:54,529
- You saw me for lunch.
- I didn't say "missing you".
380
00:22:54,573 --> 00:22:55,905
I know.
381
00:22:55,941 --> 00:22:59,639
There's no need. I found Alistair's
description of my book
382
00:22:59,678 --> 00:23:04,582
being dull but respectable
quite satisfactory.
383
00:23:04,617 --> 00:23:07,917
- Did you?
- Yes. Did you?
384
00:23:08,921 --> 00:23:11,652
Yes. So you're happy about it?
385
00:23:11,690 --> 00:23:15,092
- Almost sublimely.
- You're not.
386
00:23:15,127 --> 00:23:19,462
Well, perhaps "sublimely"
is an overstatement.
387
00:23:22,835 --> 00:23:25,304
I asked Alistair
another question this afternoon.
388
00:23:25,337 --> 00:23:27,272
- Oh?
- Yes.
389
00:23:27,306 --> 00:23:30,674
Not the half "Why".
The whole "Why".
390
00:23:31,744 --> 00:23:34,441
Oh...! And?
391
00:23:37,249 --> 00:23:40,219
How shall I put this? I'm a favour.
392
00:23:40,252 --> 00:23:41,618
A favour?
393
00:23:41,654 --> 00:23:48,424
Apparently Alistair's father
owed my father a favour, and I'm it.
394
00:23:48,460 --> 00:23:52,898
That's why Alistair'
looking after me like a baby.
395
00:23:52,932 --> 00:23:56,266
Did your father save
Alistair's father's life?
396
00:23:56,302 --> 00:24:00,899
He lent him £500 in 1947
to start a publishing firm.
397
00:24:00,940 --> 00:24:05,844
Oh, what a lovely story!
Your father must love you.
398
00:24:05,878 --> 00:24:08,643
Yes, he must. I could strangle him!
399
00:24:09,715 --> 00:24:12,685
- Gratitude
- Patronising old bugger!
400
00:24:12,718 --> 00:24:17,622
- I don't need his help.
- I wish someone would help me.
401
00:24:17,656 --> 00:24:19,454
- What's the matter?
- Nothing.
402
00:24:19,491 --> 00:24:22,325
- I'm not with you.
- Parents.
403
00:24:22,361 --> 00:24:27,299
Even when you're older,
you never stop missing them.
404
00:24:27,333 --> 00:24:30,895
You've got no-one to ask
"What shall I do?"
405
00:24:30,936 --> 00:24:36,273
If I said "What shall I do?", all
my father ever said was "Rock on".
406
00:24:36,308 --> 00:24:38,038
Before Rock and Roll?!
407
00:24:38,077 --> 00:24:43,209
- Well, the equivalent.
- He wants to help you.
408
00:24:43,248 --> 00:24:46,616
- Yes, interfering old...
- Stop it!
409
00:24:46,652 --> 00:24:49,554
- Your pride's hurt.
- It isn't.
410
00:24:49,588 --> 00:24:52,956
- Dented.
- All right, dented.
411
00:24:54,793 --> 00:24:58,662
- I'M here.
- Yes, I know that.
412
00:24:58,697 --> 00:25:02,532
If ever you wanted to say
"What shall I do?", I mean.
413
00:25:02,568 --> 00:25:06,369
Oh, Lionel. That's very sweet.
414
00:25:06,405 --> 00:25:09,273
But I don't see you
as a substitute father.
415
00:25:09,308 --> 00:25:15,305
- What DO you see me as?
- Well, someone...
416
00:25:15,347 --> 00:25:17,282
Someone...
417
00:25:17,316 --> 00:25:19,012
Yes?
418
00:25:19,051 --> 00:25:21,282
It isn't as if you
need the money, is it?
419
00:25:21,320 --> 00:25:24,654
- You're changing the subject.
- I know.
420
00:25:24,690 --> 00:25:27,319
- What money?
- The money from the book.
421
00:25:27,359 --> 00:25:31,126
That's the thing of it, you see.
422
00:25:31,163 --> 00:25:33,223
Kenya is a beautiful country,
423
00:25:33,265 --> 00:25:37,293
but I reached the stage in my life
when I wanted to come home.
424
00:25:37,336 --> 00:25:41,398
I got the lecture tour,
waffling on about...
425
00:25:41,440 --> 00:25:43,272
"My Life In Kenya."
426
00:25:43,308 --> 00:25:44,640
That was all right.
427
00:25:44,676 --> 00:25:49,307
Then I wrote the book
and I thought "THAT will be all right".
428
00:25:49,348 --> 00:25:55,515
I wasn't looking for a fortune,
just enough to get by.
429
00:25:55,554 --> 00:25:59,355
Unless you've been lying,
you own a coffee plantation.
430
00:25:59,391 --> 00:26:01,292
- If you sold the odd bean...
- The only place
431
00:26:01,326 --> 00:26:05,320
I can spend my money from the
coffee plantation in Kenya is Kenya.
432
00:26:05,364 --> 00:26:07,162
They moved the goal-posts.
433
00:26:10,202 --> 00:26:11,864
Let's go and find something to eat.
434
00:26:14,306 --> 00:26:19,108
Yes, let's. Nowhere too expensive.
435
00:26:19,144 --> 00:26:23,605
- "Getting by" isn't enough any more.
- Are you saying that I'm expensive?
436
00:26:23,649 --> 00:26:28,349
I'm saying that for me
"getting by" isn't enough any more.
437
00:26:28,387 --> 00:26:31,289
And I don't want
to go back to Kenya.
438
00:26:31,323 --> 00:26:32,518
Why?
439
00:26:32,558 --> 00:26:34,584
That's a pretty coy question.
440
00:26:34,626 --> 00:26:36,288
I'd like to know.
441
00:26:36,328 --> 00:26:37,261
Let's face it.
442
00:26:37,296 --> 00:26:40,926
We can't wait another 38 years
before we see each other again.
443
00:26:50,375 --> 00:26:52,742
You must remember this
444
00:26:52,778 --> 00:26:55,805
A kiss is still a kiss
445
00:26:55,848 --> 00:26:58,943
A sigh is just a sigh
446
00:27:01,353 --> 00:27:05,051
The fundamental things apply
447
00:27:05,090 --> 00:27:08,185
As time goes by
448
00:27:11,830 --> 00:27:14,561
And when two lovers woo
449
00:27:14,600 --> 00:27:17,263
They still say "I love you"
450
00:27:17,302 --> 00:27:20,272
On that you can rely
451
00:27:23,008 --> 00:27:28,538
The world will always
welcome lovers
452
00:27:28,580 --> 00:27:33,518
As time goes by.
31801
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