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I remind you that I have neither father
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nor mother, that I was raised by the
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state, that I knew very young that I
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wasn't French, that I didn't belong to a
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village. After that,
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I could only find myself amongst those
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colored and oppressed,
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amongst the oppressed, risen up against
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the whites. I am
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perhaps a black who is colored,
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white or pink, but a black.
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I
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don't know
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my
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family.
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...
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If we the distance of look,
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you've a Maric.
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We
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will see.
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I've
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enemy. I'll
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be.
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I'll be.
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A general Sharon Bombard, Laville, the
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two storm, the bomb and a palm a
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fragmentation.
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Jean, a man who's a to you. I'll have a
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para. I
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don't
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know. I see. I say the resistance
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Lebanese
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Palestinian, the
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combatant
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Palestinian on the city.
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.
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.
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.
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.
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You're more don't be sure. Jamiel, Chef
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Dimilis Falangist, a two nouveau
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president of the Republic Lebanese.
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Laville, it is full of shock. The
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long demand Versancor du Mata, revoir
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reve le vendor de journo o motto quickly.
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This Israeli arrive. This Israeli arrive.
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Judy Grangel, Escalier de Limable, a
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delantre revoir reveal a shar, a
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legend solda Israelia, avecler sacado,
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or post a meteor. To see
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the montage of it's Jean. It's your exit.
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I'll vulet to voir de pray. I'll appeal.
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You mail a regard on by two. Les
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Israeli Separ P don't Laville, a on
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circle a camp Palestinian kiso true de
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Laville
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set willah. Ozavom Pasil a suaree a
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regarde de Lusiel you meaning par de norm
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fuse a clearant or should de Laville set
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a dear also like on Palestinia a on a
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comprehend path.
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I had spent four hours at Shatila.
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About 40 bodies remained in my memory.
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All of them, and I mean all,
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had been tortured, probably in the middle
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of drunkenness, singing, laughter,
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the smell of gunpowder, and corpses
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already decomposing.
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In the review of Palestinian studies, I
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wanted to show what was left of the
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Shatila and Sabra camps after the
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Felangis had spent three nights there.
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The first corpse I saw belonged to a man
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of 50 or 60. He would have had a shock
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of white hair if a wound, which looked to
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me like an axe blow, hadn't split his
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skull.
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Part of the blackened brain was on the
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ground next to the head.
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His whole body was lying in a sea of
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black, congealed blood.
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The dead man's feet and legs were bare
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and black, purple and blue.
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Perhaps he'd been taken by surprise at
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night or at dawn.
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Three young men led me down an alley.
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Go in, Sir. We'll wait for you outside.
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I went into a small house with twofloors.
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There was a body blocking my way in. I
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saw yet more bodies.
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I stepped over the dead as one crosses an
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abyss. I tried to
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count the first bodies after
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12 or 15, surrounded by the
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smell, by the sun,
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stumbling over the remains. I couldn't
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continue. Everything became
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confused. A barbaric feast had taken
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place here. What can we say to their
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families who left with Arafat, trusting
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the promises of Reagan, of Midoran, of
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Pratini, who had assured them that the
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civilian population of the camps would be
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safe?How can we say
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that we left children, old men and women
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to be massacred here, and that their
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bodies are being abandoned without
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prayers?How can we tell them that we
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don't even know where they are buried?
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I am French, but I defend the
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Palestinians wholly and without judgment.
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They're in the right because I love them.
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But would I love them if injustice hadn't
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turned them into a nomadic people?
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For the whole Hamad
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Hamad.
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There,
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amongst
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all
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the tortured victims,
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my mind can't free itself of this
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invisible vision.
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What was the torturer like?Who
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was he?I see him and I
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don't see him. He
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stares me in the face, though the only
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shape he will ever have is that of the
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positions, the postures, the
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grotesque gestures of the dead fermenting
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there in the sun under the clouds of
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flies.
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A
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photograph can't capture the flies,
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nor the thick white smell of death,
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nor can it show how you have to jump when
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you go from one body to another.
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Love and death. These
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two terms quickly associate it when one
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is written.
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I had to go to Shatila to understand the
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obscenity of love and the
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obscenity of death.
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Which alley should I take now?
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I was drawn by a 50-year-old man, by
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a young man of 20, by two
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old Arab women. And I
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felt as though I was at the center of a
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star of wind whose points held
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hundreds of dead.
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The massacres didn't take place in
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silence and darkness, but in the
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light of Israeli flares.
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Since Thursday evening, the Israelis had
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been listening in on Shatila.
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What celebration, what feasting went on
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there, where death seemed to join in the
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pleasures of the soldiers drunk on wine,
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drunk on hatred?Drunk no doubt on
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the very joy of pleasing the Israeli
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army, which was listening, watching,
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encouraging.
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How did the killers enter the camps?Were
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the Israelis at all the exits to Shatila?
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In any case, on Thursday they were
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already at Akka Hospital, opposite
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an entry to the camp Akka Hospital.
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Occupied by the Israelis, just across
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from an entrance to Shatila, isn't
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200 yards from the camp, but 40.
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They saw nothing, heard nothing,
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understood nothing. That's what Begin
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declared to the Knesset. Non-jews killed
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non-jews. Why should that concern us?
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I had spent four hours at Shatila.
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About 40 bodies remained in my memory,
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and all of them, and I mean all, have
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been tortured, probably in the middle of
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drunkenness, singing,
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laughter, the smell of gunpowder and
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corpses already decomposing.
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Without a doubt, I was alone. By this
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I mean the only European with some old
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Palestinian women still clinging to a
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torn white cloth.
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But if these five or six human beings had
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not been there, I would have gone
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crazy. Where was
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I?
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That city in pieces, flattened, which I
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saw or thought I saw, walked
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through, stirred up,
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borne up by the powerful smell of death.
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Had all that happened?
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The shock, the massacre, the shatila,
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I take. Problem.
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Potato. The premier desire,
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the
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career,
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the prevent.
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The shatila.
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Absolute.
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Rabba.
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Palestinia.
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It's.
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So
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some
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pleasure
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declare
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necessity
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declare. I can
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tell force it
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preferred,
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preferred.
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I'll
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collision
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as a
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prep.
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Driving in from the airport, people who
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don't know Amman find Jordan very
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attractive, especially in the evening.
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14 years after my first trips, I couldn't
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recognize anything but understood right
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away that the charm of the hills, of the
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more distant, darker mountains, of the
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valleys, the gardens, the villas,
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all that was just a painted veil hiding
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the ferocity of the Palestinian camps.
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I cannot date the beginning of this book.
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Was it after Shatila?The writing
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began around October 1983
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and I became a stranger to France
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from Amman City of the Kingdom of David,
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a Nabatean Roman Arab
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city. Lost in the mists of time,
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from there rose a foul
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and ancient
237
00:29:52,720 --> 00:29:54,400
smell.
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00:31:10,240 --> 00:31:12,480
In Jordan, there were 10 or 12 camps.
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I can list Jebel.
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Hussein, Wahadat,
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Baka, Gaza camp, Irbid.
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These are the ones I knew best. The
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Fedayeen came back to the camps to rest.
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We were at the Baka camp at the end of
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1970.
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Pride was nowhere visible in the Baka
247
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camp.
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At Baka, each district of the camp tried
249
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to reproduce a village left behind in
250
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Palestine. Nazareth was here,
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and a few narrow streets away, Naplus and
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Haifa, to the right Hebron, and to
253
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the left the old Elkads,
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Jerusalem.
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In Palestine, more than anywhere else,
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the women seemed to me to possess one
257
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quality more than the men.
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20 kilometers from the capital, the Baka
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camp was suddenly and completely
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surrounded by three rows of tanks. The
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discussions between the women from the
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camp and the Jordanian officers lasted 2
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days and two nights. The
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women were on the road that leads to the
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Jordan River. There was great confusion
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among the officers. How could they fire
267
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on women in strollers?
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We are going home. Which home?
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Palestine on foot.
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We'll cross the Jordan River.
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Even before arriving there, I knew my
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presence on the banks of the Jordan at
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the Palestinian bases could never clearly
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be expressed. I had welcomed this
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revolt as a musical ear recognizes a
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right note. I
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often left my tent and slept under the
278
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trees, looking up at the Milky
279
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Way so close behind the branches.
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The armed sentries made no sound as
281
00:36:09,920 --> 00:36:12,880
they moved about at night over the
282
00:36:12,880 --> 00:36:15,680
grass and the leaves, wanting their
283
00:36:15,680 --> 00:36:17,600
shadows to merge with the tree trunks.
284
00:36:20,640 --> 00:36:22,760
The Milky Way rose up out of the lights
285
00:36:22,760 --> 00:36:25,680
of Galilee, arching over me
286
00:36:26,880 --> 00:36:28,800
down over the whole Jordan Valley
287
00:36:30,080 --> 00:36:33,040
before breaking up. scattering out
288
00:36:33,040 --> 00:36:34,720
over the desert of Saudi Arabia.
289
00:37:13,340 --> 00:37:15,740
Lying there under my blanket, I shared in
290
00:37:15,740 --> 00:37:18,640
this spectacle. Perhaps more than the
291
00:37:18,640 --> 00:37:21,360
Palestinians themselves, for whom the
292
00:37:21,360 --> 00:37:23,040
sky was a commonplace.
293
00:37:24,400 --> 00:37:27,240
In one of Shakespeare's tragedies, the
294
00:37:27,240 --> 00:37:29,520
archers fire their arrows against the
295
00:37:29,520 --> 00:37:32,080
sky. But could they shoot at
296
00:37:32,080 --> 00:37:34,480
stars rising out of their own cradle?
297
00:37:35,520 --> 00:37:36,160
Palestine?
298
00:37:40,400 --> 00:37:43,360
It was more for fun than conviction that
299
00:37:43,360 --> 00:37:45,160
I had accepted the invitation to spend a
300
00:37:45,160 --> 00:37:47,360
few days with the Palestinians.
301
00:37:48,160 --> 00:37:50,080
I was to stay there nearly two years
302
00:37:51,120 --> 00:37:53,120
and every night half dead,
303
00:37:53,840 --> 00:37:55,520
waiting for the capsule of Nebethal to
304
00:37:55,520 --> 00:37:58,520
send me to sleep. I lay there, my
305
00:37:58,520 --> 00:38:00,800
eyes open, my mind clear,
306
00:38:01,680 --> 00:38:03,840
neither amazed nor afraid,
307
00:38:04,640 --> 00:38:06,880
but certainly amused to be there
308
00:38:07,520 --> 00:38:09,320
in that place where on either side of the
309
00:38:09,320 --> 00:38:11,560
river, men and women had been on the
310
00:38:11,560 --> 00:38:14,080
watch for so long. And why not me?
311
00:38:15,600 --> 00:38:17,560
Just a little way off. Through the
312
00:38:17,560 --> 00:38:20,080
darkness I could hear the water of the
313
00:38:20,080 --> 00:38:23,000
Jordan flowing. I was freezing,
314
00:38:25,520 --> 00:38:27,320
going at night down the precipice of the
315
00:38:27,320 --> 00:38:30,280
Jordan to lay mines and returning in
316
00:38:30,280 --> 00:38:33,200
the morning. Was that climbing up from
317
00:38:33,200 --> 00:38:35,600
hell or coming down from heaven?
318
00:38:56,720 --> 00:38:59,640
Crouched for the break, I drank tea and
319
00:38:59,640 --> 00:39:01,600
ate olives and unleavened bread.
320
00:39:02,800 --> 00:39:04,560
The fedayeen chatted in Arabic and
321
00:39:04,560 --> 00:39:07,280
laughed, unaware that not far from
322
00:39:07,280 --> 00:39:10,000
here John the Baptist had baptized Jesus.
323
00:39:12,320 --> 00:39:15,120
My words say as clearly as I can that the
324
00:39:15,120 --> 00:39:17,280
Palestinian revolt was among my oldest
325
00:39:17,280 --> 00:39:20,040
memories. Their revolt was
326
00:39:20,040 --> 00:39:23,040
eternal, consubstantial with me.
327
00:39:24,720 --> 00:39:26,320
Have I revealed clearly enough the
328
00:39:26,320 --> 00:39:27,840
importance that I give to memories?
329
00:39:34,240 --> 00:39:36,960
Everything. Everyone was quivering under
330
00:39:36,960 --> 00:39:39,120
the trees, laughing,
331
00:39:40,240 --> 00:39:42,320
marveling at a life so new for all
332
00:39:43,240 --> 00:39:46,080
and also for me. Yet in the
333
00:39:46,080 --> 00:39:48,160
quivering there was something strangely
334
00:39:48,160 --> 00:39:50,400
fixed, on guard,
335
00:39:51,520 --> 00:39:54,400
reserved, protected.
336
00:39:55,440 --> 00:39:57,240
Like someone who prays without speaking,
337
00:39:58,640 --> 00:40:00,920
the rest of the time the fedayeen drank
338
00:40:00,920 --> 00:40:03,880
tea, criticized their leaders and the
339
00:40:03,880 --> 00:40:06,880
rich, insulted Israel, but
340
00:40:06,880 --> 00:40:09,120
spoke above all of the revolution,
341
00:40:10,080 --> 00:40:12,400
about the one they were waging and the
342
00:40:12,400 --> 00:40:13,840
one which they were going to undertake.
343
00:40:15,760 --> 00:40:18,560
Youth unconcerned about death from the
344
00:40:18,560 --> 00:40:21,120
land on the banks of the Jordan, the
345
00:40:21,120 --> 00:40:23,520
pleasure of being under the trees. Of
346
00:40:23,520 --> 00:40:26,160
playing with weapons, of being far
347
00:40:26,160 --> 00:40:28,480
from women, of being the
348
00:40:28,480 --> 00:40:30,400
brightest, as they were the keenest
349
00:40:30,400 --> 00:40:33,000
point of the revolution, and perhaps
350
00:40:33,000 --> 00:40:35,200
sensing that this revolutionary feast was
351
00:40:35,200 --> 00:40:36,720
not far from being sacked.
352
00:40:38,480 --> 00:40:40,440
The Fediyin didn't want power, they
353
00:40:40,440 --> 00:40:40,960
had freedom.
354
00:41:59,740 --> 00:42:02,240
It was more for fun. and
355
00:42:02,240 --> 00:42:03,880
conviction that I had accepted the
356
00:42:03,880 --> 00:42:06,200
invitation to spend a few days with the
357
00:42:06,200 --> 00:42:08,960
Palestinians. I was to
358
00:42:08,960 --> 00:42:10,400
stay there nearly two years.
359
00:42:16,720 --> 00:42:18,760
I have to admit that in staying with
360
00:42:18,760 --> 00:42:20,600
them, I was staying, and
361
00:42:21,840 --> 00:42:24,120
I don't know how or what other way to
362
00:42:24,120 --> 00:42:26,320
express it in my own memory.
363
00:42:29,880 --> 00:42:31,560
What are the dreams of a revolutionary
364
00:42:31,560 --> 00:42:34,480
made from who revolts in
365
00:42:46,880 --> 00:42:47,000
the
366
00:42:51,480 --> 00:42:52,560
desert?
367
00:43:03,440 --> 00:43:04,720
This
368
00:43:20,000 --> 00:43:22,720
image of the Fedayi becomes more and more
369
00:43:22,720 --> 00:43:23,440
indelible.
370
00:43:26,160 --> 00:43:28,800
He turns back to the path and I won't see
371
00:43:28,800 --> 00:43:31,320
his face again, only his back and his
372
00:43:31,320 --> 00:43:33,760
shadow. It's then
373
00:43:34,640 --> 00:43:36,240
when I won't be able to speak to him,
374
00:43:36,720 --> 00:43:39,080
nor hear him, that I will need to
375
00:43:39,080 --> 00:43:41,760
speak about him. The
376
00:43:41,760 --> 00:43:43,600
rebellion is flagging away,
377
00:43:44,480 --> 00:43:47,480
fading, and about to turn back to
378
00:43:47,480 --> 00:43:49,440
the path and disappear.
379
00:43:51,040 --> 00:43:53,040
It will be made into songs of heroes.
380
00:43:54,000 --> 00:43:56,640
That's how I viewed the resistance. as
381
00:43:56,640 --> 00:43:58,240
though we would vanish the following day.
382
00:44:37,040 --> 00:44:39,400
After the massacres at Sabra and Shatila
383
00:44:39,400 --> 00:44:42,400
in September 1982, some of the
384
00:44:42,400 --> 00:44:44,320
Palestinians asked me to write down my
385
00:44:44,320 --> 00:44:44,880
memories.
386
00:44:50,720 --> 00:44:53,040
Say exactly what you saw, what you
387
00:44:53,040 --> 00:44:56,000
heard. Try to explain why
388
00:44:56,000 --> 00:44:57,240
you stayed with us for so long.
389
00:44:59,760 --> 00:45:02,680
Why it was you came. You came for eight
390
00:45:02,680 --> 00:45:04,880
days. Why did you stay for two years?
391
00:45:11,040 --> 00:45:13,960
To explain better these memories, 2
392
00:45:13,960 --> 00:45:16,800
images come to mind. The
393
00:45:16,800 --> 00:45:18,800
1st is of white clouds.
394
00:45:20,080 --> 00:45:22,120
Everything I witnessed in Jordan and
395
00:45:22,120 --> 00:45:25,080
Lebanon remains wrapped in thick
396
00:45:25,080 --> 00:45:26,880
clouds that still weigh down on me.
397
00:45:28,160 --> 00:45:30,240
I seem able to Pierce them only when I
398
00:45:30,240 --> 00:45:32,000
grope in the dark after a vision,
399
00:45:33,120 --> 00:45:36,080
but I don't know which. For that
400
00:45:36,080 --> 00:45:39,040
reason, I can write. The clouds are
401
00:45:39,040 --> 00:45:39,600
nourishing.
402
00:45:52,130 --> 00:45:54,930
The trees, how far away
403
00:45:54,930 --> 00:45:57,890
they are 15 years ago.
404
00:45:58,450 --> 00:45:59,890
Today, probably cut down.
405
00:46:01,730 --> 00:46:04,610
These trees come back to me. I
406
00:46:04,610 --> 00:46:06,450
haven't said enough of their fragility.
407
00:46:07,410 --> 00:46:08,370
Everything was trees.
408
00:46:17,520 --> 00:46:19,040
If so many things are there to be
409
00:46:19,040 --> 00:46:21,520
seen, only seen,
410
00:46:22,400 --> 00:46:23,920
no word will ever describe them.
411
00:46:25,280 --> 00:46:27,640
But what if it were true that writing is
412
00:46:27,640 --> 00:46:30,560
a lie, that it gives only the
413
00:46:30,560 --> 00:46:33,520
visible, the acceptable face?
414
00:46:34,080 --> 00:46:36,160
You could say the silent face.
415
00:46:37,040 --> 00:46:38,800
Because it can't show what it doubles.
416
00:46:40,880 --> 00:46:43,480
I want to say, however, that they
417
00:46:43,480 --> 00:46:46,080
are my eyes, my sight,
418
00:46:46,880 --> 00:46:48,960
which saw what I tried to describe,
419
00:46:49,520 --> 00:46:52,480
my ears, which hurt. I was
420
00:46:52,480 --> 00:46:55,280
living a dream which today
421
00:46:55,600 --> 00:46:57,920
I can control by
422
00:46:57,920 --> 00:46:59,720
reconstructing the images you were
423
00:46:59,720 --> 00:47:02,240
reading, by piecing them together.
424
00:47:04,080 --> 00:47:06,800
So many words to say. This is
425
00:47:06,800 --> 00:47:09,760
my Palestinian revolution, told
426
00:47:09,760 --> 00:47:11,040
in my chosen order.
427
00:47:28,559 --> 00:47:30,159
Cut
428
00:47:42,719 --> 00:47:44,359
off from the peasant population on the
429
00:47:44,359 --> 00:47:47,199
banks of the Jordan River since 1971,
430
00:47:48,159 --> 00:47:50,479
the Palestinians lived alone in a hostile
431
00:47:50,479 --> 00:47:51,119
environment.
432
00:47:58,959 --> 00:48:00,559
What are the dreams of a revolutionary
433
00:48:00,559 --> 00:48:03,399
made from who revolts in the
434
00:48:03,399 --> 00:48:03,839
desert?
435
00:48:11,319 --> 00:48:12,999
No one, nothing.
436
00:48:14,199 --> 00:48:15,879
No narrative technique could ever
437
00:48:15,879 --> 00:48:18,639
describe the six months the Ferdin went
438
00:48:18,639 --> 00:48:20,479
through in the mountains of Jerash and
439
00:48:20,479 --> 00:48:23,159
Ajlun, particularly the first few
440
00:48:23,159 --> 00:48:25,959
weeks before the winds came and the cold
441
00:48:25,959 --> 00:48:28,919
set in that night
442
00:48:28,919 --> 00:48:31,519
at Ajlun. I saw the polar star
443
00:48:32,319 --> 00:48:34,839
on my right in its place in Ursula
444
00:48:34,839 --> 00:48:37,599
Minor, and the Milky Way
445
00:48:38,319 --> 00:48:40,479
disseminating into the Arabian desert.
446
00:48:42,239 --> 00:48:44,559
And I couldn't but wonder that I was in a
447
00:48:44,559 --> 00:48:47,279
Muslim country where the woman,
448
00:48:48,079 --> 00:48:50,639
and this I still believed, is far
449
00:48:50,639 --> 00:48:50,959
away.
450
00:48:55,279 --> 00:48:57,119
Heading from the Bakwa camp towards the
451
00:48:57,119 --> 00:48:59,359
Jordan,All traces of the
452
00:48:59,359 --> 00:49:01,599
Palestinians had been burnt,
453
00:49:02,479 --> 00:49:04,319
buried, or simply carried away.
454
00:49:05,439 --> 00:49:06,959
Only the burnt shrubs remained.
455
00:49:08,319 --> 00:49:10,559
The fedayeen had either been killed or
456
00:49:10,559 --> 00:49:13,159
taken prisoner, led into the desert
457
00:49:13,159 --> 00:49:15,559
to be left to the Saudi border after a
458
00:49:15,559 --> 00:49:18,399
stay in the Jordanian jails, a far
459
00:49:18,399 --> 00:49:20,239
greater torture than the desert itself.
460
00:49:21,119 --> 00:49:22,959
In the countryside, the wheat,
461
00:49:23,439 --> 00:49:25,839
the rye, the barley, the beans
462
00:49:25,839 --> 00:49:28,559
had all been destroyed in the battle. I
463
00:49:28,559 --> 00:49:30,119
would have to wait until Beirut in
464
00:49:30,119 --> 00:49:32,439
1976 and
465
00:49:32,439 --> 00:49:35,119
1982, especially around
466
00:49:35,119 --> 00:49:37,599
Shatila, to see nature again so
467
00:49:37,599 --> 00:49:40,319
molested, burnt to the bone.
468
00:49:41,039 --> 00:49:43,159
For then I knew that the bones of Pines
469
00:49:43,159 --> 00:49:44,639
and fir were black
470
00:49:52,559 --> 00:49:55,159
from December 1970. The
471
00:49:55,159 --> 00:49:57,359
Jordanian government banned any further
472
00:49:57,359 --> 00:49:59,359
operations, leaving from bases
473
00:49:59,359 --> 00:50:01,759
against Israel or the occupied
474
00:50:01,759 --> 00:50:04,479
territories. It was in June and
475
00:50:04,479 --> 00:50:06,959
July 1971 that
476
00:50:06,959 --> 00:50:08,839
Hussein's troops surrounded the
477
00:50:08,839 --> 00:50:11,679
Fedayeen, of which officially 3 or
478
00:50:11,679 --> 00:50:12,719
400 were killed.
479
00:50:14,879 --> 00:50:17,439
Thousands were taken prisoner and sent to
480
00:50:17,439 --> 00:50:20,239
various jails across the Kingdom and to
481
00:50:20,239 --> 00:50:21,599
the camp at Zarqa.
482
00:53:03,599 --> 00:53:05,839
My words say as clearly as I can
483
00:53:06,799 --> 00:53:08,799
that the Palestinian revolt was among my
484
00:53:08,799 --> 00:53:11,759
oldest memories. Their revolt was
485
00:53:11,759 --> 00:53:14,719
eternal, consubstantial with me.
486
00:53:16,239 --> 00:53:18,439
Have I revealed clearly enough the
487
00:53:18,439 --> 00:53:19,999
importance that I give to memories?
488
00:53:21,439 --> 00:53:24,319
Each fidei asked me questions as he was
489
00:53:24,319 --> 00:53:26,879
preparing his tea or his coffee
490
00:53:27,839 --> 00:53:30,719
or his argument. It's up
491
00:53:30,719 --> 00:53:33,079
to you to speak to me, to tell
492
00:53:33,079 --> 00:53:34,679
me, for example, what you
493
00:53:34,679 --> 00:53:37,279
understand by revolution and how you
494
00:53:37,279 --> 00:53:38,239
think to carry it out
495
00:53:40,079 --> 00:53:43,039
everyone. Everything under the trees was
496
00:53:43,039 --> 00:53:44,239
quivering with excitement,
497
00:53:44,879 --> 00:53:47,839
laughing, marveling at a life so
498
00:53:47,839 --> 00:53:50,399
new for all, also for me.
499
00:53:51,519 --> 00:53:53,159
It seemed only one thing concerned the
500
00:53:53,159 --> 00:53:56,039
Fedayeen, how this celebration was to
501
00:53:56,039 --> 00:53:59,039
end, for it was a celebration,
502
00:53:59,839 --> 00:54:01,839
this Palestinian revolt on the Oriental
503
00:54:01,839 --> 00:54:03,119
banks of the Jordan River.
504
00:54:07,919 --> 00:54:09,839
Revolution is the happiest time of life.
505
00:54:15,119 --> 00:54:16,959
Every day and every night,
506
00:54:17,839 --> 00:54:19,119
death brushed past them.
507
00:54:20,879 --> 00:54:22,879
The loss of a favorite fedaii
508
00:54:23,199 --> 00:54:24,959
paradoxically made them all the more
509
00:54:24,959 --> 00:54:27,639
alive. For a short
510
00:54:27,639 --> 00:54:30,399
time, that life, that unique
511
00:54:30,399 --> 00:54:33,039
life of a fedaii, now dead,
512
00:54:33,759 --> 00:54:36,079
took on a density it had never hadbefore.
513
00:54:39,519 --> 00:54:41,119
Everything takes place in darkness
514
00:54:42,519 --> 00:54:45,199
on the point of death. Despite the
515
00:54:45,199 --> 00:54:47,399
lightness of these words, their lack
516
00:54:47,399 --> 00:54:50,399
of substance, however unimportant the
517
00:54:50,399 --> 00:54:52,479
event would be, the condemned man
518
00:54:52,479 --> 00:54:54,999
wants to determine for himself the
519
00:54:54,999 --> 00:54:57,599
meaning of his life, a life spent in
520
00:54:57,599 --> 00:54:59,839
the darkness. He wanted to
521
00:54:59,839 --> 00:55:02,479
intensify, not to light up right.
522
00:55:09,739 --> 00:55:12,179
I am unable to explain the origin of the
523
00:55:12,179 --> 00:55:14,939
resistance. It must be stated,
524
00:55:14,939 --> 00:55:17,259
however, that hundreds of years are
525
00:55:17,259 --> 00:55:20,199
not enough. for the final destruction
526
00:55:34,489 --> 00:55:34,689
of
527
00:55:38,009 --> 00:55:39,969
the people.
528
00:56:07,699 --> 00:56:09,939
One night, a little before dawn,
529
00:56:11,059 --> 00:56:12,619
three different groups of fedayeen were
530
00:56:12,619 --> 00:56:15,459
singing, exchanging their songs from
531
00:56:15,459 --> 00:56:18,259
hillside to hillside, and between
532
00:56:18,259 --> 00:56:19,939
each song I could hear the morning
533
00:56:19,939 --> 00:56:22,819
silence, dense with the sounds of the
534
00:56:22,819 --> 00:56:24,499
day that had not yet risen
535
00:56:26,019 --> 00:56:28,099
in the morning, heedless of
536
00:56:28,099 --> 00:56:31,039
death, which was on the watch. Here I
537
00:56:31,039 --> 00:56:33,039
mean the death of the singers, the
538
00:56:33,039 --> 00:56:35,999
warrior artists whose bodies could well
539
00:56:35,999 --> 00:56:37,919
have found themselves decomposing in the
540
00:56:37,919 --> 00:56:40,399
midday sun. In the
541
00:56:40,399 --> 00:56:42,559
morning, I had heard a great musical
542
00:56:42,559 --> 00:56:45,279
improvisation on the mountain paths in
543
00:56:45,279 --> 00:56:48,119
the face of danger. The
544
00:56:48,119 --> 00:56:50,159
Palestinians composed their songs like
545
00:56:50,159 --> 00:56:53,039
forgotten songs, found lying hidden
546
00:56:53,039 --> 00:56:55,039
within them before they sang them.
547
00:56:56,879 --> 00:56:58,839
And so a new composer lets me hear the
548
00:56:58,879 --> 00:57:01,039
song. That has been forever locked up
549
00:57:01,039 --> 00:57:01,999
silent inside me.
550
00:57:04,239 --> 00:57:06,319
I wrote this in February 1984.
551
00:57:07,439 --> 00:57:09,839
That's to say, 14 years after that
552
00:57:09,839 --> 00:57:12,479
singing, nothing was ever written on
553
00:57:12,479 --> 00:57:15,279
the roads or tracks at the bases or
554
00:57:15,279 --> 00:57:18,159
elsewhere. The event was recorded
555
00:57:18,159 --> 00:57:20,639
because I witnessed it, and because
556
00:57:20,639 --> 00:57:23,039
it marked me so strongly that I shall be
557
00:57:23,039 --> 00:57:24,159
lastingly affected.
558
00:57:57,899 --> 00:57:59,899
Near Ashrafia, I went through a
559
00:57:59,899 --> 00:58:01,179
good-sized orchard.
560
00:58:04,699 --> 00:58:06,619
Father Omar was sitting in an
561
00:58:06,619 --> 00:58:08,299
armchair, smoking.
562
00:58:09,819 --> 00:58:12,159
My feet stank. Dirty
563
00:58:12,719 --> 00:58:15,319
postman's feet. Feet which have walked
564
00:58:15,319 --> 00:58:15,999
for miles.
565
00:58:36,319 --> 00:58:38,079
Cut off from the peasant population on
566
00:58:38,079 --> 00:58:40,159
the banks of the Jordan since July
567
00:58:40,479 --> 00:58:42,799
1971, the
568
00:58:42,799 --> 00:58:45,359
Palestinians lived alone. In a hostile
569
00:58:45,359 --> 00:58:45,919
environment,
570
00:58:50,479 --> 00:58:52,319
now and then, through binoculars,
571
00:58:52,719 --> 00:58:54,799
I could see a woman in a black scarf
572
00:58:55,119 --> 00:58:57,839
throwing grains to her hens or milking a
573
00:58:57,839 --> 00:59:00,199
goat. Then she went back into her house
574
00:59:00,199 --> 00:59:02,639
and closed the door. And this book which
575
00:59:02,639 --> 00:59:04,799
I'm writing, which traces back
576
00:59:04,799 --> 00:59:06,639
through my memories to moments dear to
577
00:59:06,639 --> 00:59:09,519
me, is. But how
578
00:59:09,519 --> 00:59:11,999
would I say this is just a
579
00:59:11,999 --> 00:59:14,959
collection of these moments?Designed to
580
00:59:14,959 --> 00:59:17,239
conceal the incredible fact that there
581
00:59:17,239 --> 00:59:19,679
was nothing to see, nothing to hear.
582
00:59:21,439 --> 00:59:23,279
I will have watched this Palestinian
583
00:59:23,279 --> 00:59:26,239
revolt as though from a window or
584
00:59:26,239 --> 00:59:28,559
from a box in a theater, as though
585
00:59:28,559 --> 00:59:31,439
through Pearl handled opera glasses,
586
00:59:31,999 --> 00:59:34,959
how far I was from them. When I was
587
00:59:34,959 --> 00:59:36,799
writing this book, for example,
588
00:59:37,839 --> 00:59:40,319
out there among the fedayeen, I
589
00:59:40,319 --> 00:59:42,959
stayed on this side of the border. I knew
590
00:59:42,959 --> 00:59:45,399
I was safe. Not thanks to my Celtic
591
00:59:45,399 --> 00:59:47,919
physique or a layer of goose fat,
592
00:59:48,559 --> 00:59:50,039
but rather because of a different
593
00:59:50,039 --> 00:59:52,799
armor, far shinier and more
594
00:59:52,799 --> 00:59:55,759
sure my non belonging to a
595
00:59:55,759 --> 00:59:58,559
nation or to an action I never
596
00:59:58,559 --> 01:00:01,039
merged with. My heart was in it,
597
01:00:01,999 --> 01:00:04,559
my body was in it, my spirit was in
598
01:00:04,559 --> 01:00:06,759
it. All was there at one time or
599
01:00:06,759 --> 01:00:08,759
another, but never my total
600
01:00:08,759 --> 01:00:10,719
belief, never the whole of me.
601
01:00:16,559 --> 01:00:18,319
Here is how I first met Hamza.
602
01:00:25,859 --> 01:00:28,179
Some of the Palestinian leaders, in
603
01:00:28,179 --> 01:00:30,139
particular Khalid Abu Khalid, thought
604
01:00:30,819 --> 01:00:33,379
that I was in danger at the Abu Baker
605
01:00:33,379 --> 01:00:36,259
Hotel. They sent for a young man who
606
01:00:36,259 --> 01:00:37,939
came over towards us, smiling.
607
01:00:39,179 --> 01:00:41,619
Of course he was holding a Kalashnikov,
608
01:00:42,419 --> 01:00:44,179
but that was so common I didn't even see
609
01:00:44,179 --> 01:00:46,579
it. All I saw of him.
610
01:00:47,679 --> 01:00:50,599
And almost all was his pleasant fit of ye
611
01:00:50,639 --> 01:00:53,159
face and his dark hair. Pleasant,
612
01:00:54,159 --> 01:00:56,559
even more bright, lit up by that
613
01:00:56,559 --> 01:00:58,719
certitude that the resistance at Irbid
614
01:00:58,719 --> 01:01:01,599
was his whole life's purpose. He was
615
01:01:01,599 --> 01:01:04,159
20, with dark hair, a
616
01:01:04,159 --> 01:01:07,039
kefiya, a mustache just sprouting.
617
01:01:08,239 --> 01:01:10,719
He was pale, or rather sallow,
618
01:01:11,199 --> 01:01:13,919
despite his tan in the dust. Has your
619
01:01:13,919 --> 01:01:16,319
mother got a room free?Mine.
620
01:01:16,959 --> 01:01:18,559
Tonight I'm fighting. He can sleep in my
621
01:01:18,559 --> 01:01:21,519
bed. Take him there then, and
622
01:01:21,519 --> 01:01:23,439
may God protect him. He's a friend.
623
01:01:29,519 --> 01:01:32,319
My friend. My friend.
624
01:01:33,519 --> 01:01:34,159
Your friend?
625
01:01:40,639 --> 01:01:40,999
Yes.
626
01:01:43,599 --> 01:01:43,919
No.
627
01:02:19,439 --> 01:02:19,839
Abu
628
01:02:41,669 --> 01:02:43,989
Khalid, the Palestinian poet, shook my
629
01:02:43,989 --> 01:02:46,869
hand. I never saw him
630
01:02:46,869 --> 01:02:49,799
again. We could hear, but
631
01:02:49,799 --> 01:02:51,999
at some distance away, the sound of heavy
632
01:02:51,999 --> 01:02:54,479
artillery. It had to be a
633
01:02:54,479 --> 01:02:55,039
gerash.
634
01:03:00,399 --> 01:03:03,399
Hamza wanted to carry my bag. At first
635
01:03:03,399 --> 01:03:05,599
I didn't notice anything about him that I
636
01:03:05,599 --> 01:03:07,199
wouldn't have seen in the other fedayeen.
637
01:03:08,239 --> 01:03:10,159
He had the same smile, the same
638
01:03:10,159 --> 01:03:13,039
cheerfulness, a voice so soft that it was
639
01:03:13,039 --> 01:03:14,319
almost dangerous for me.
640
01:03:18,319 --> 01:03:20,599
The tension you felt near the road faded
641
01:03:20,599 --> 01:03:22,639
as you went further inside the town and
642
01:03:22,639 --> 01:03:25,439
the camp. It was
643
01:03:25,439 --> 01:03:27,119
October 1971,
644
01:03:29,199 --> 01:03:31,199
so we were marching again under the sun.
645
01:03:32,799 --> 01:03:35,559
The Palestinian camp was below us and the
646
01:03:35,559 --> 01:03:36,639
road sloped down.
647
01:03:40,479 --> 01:03:42,919
A lot of people, probably everybody in
648
01:03:42,919 --> 01:03:45,759
the camp, knew Hamza. They
649
01:03:45,759 --> 01:03:47,759
greeted him as we passed with a smile or
650
01:03:47,759 --> 01:03:49,759
a wink. He smiled back.
651
01:03:50,959 --> 01:03:53,879
Today I'm a fighter. Tonight I will kill
652
01:03:53,879 --> 01:03:56,239
one or two Jordanians, or they will kill
653
01:03:56,239 --> 01:03:56,559
me.
654
01:04:01,639 --> 01:04:04,159
When we arrived at a small white painted
655
01:04:04,159 --> 01:04:05,999
wall with a door the same white,
656
01:04:06,799 --> 01:04:08,519
Hamza took out a key and opened it. I
657
01:04:10,719 --> 01:04:12,559
went into a courtyard which was rather
658
01:04:12,559 --> 01:04:12,959
small.
659
01:04:15,759 --> 01:04:17,119
He locked the door behind us.
660
01:04:20,479 --> 01:04:22,399
Outside the room, which I later learned
661
01:04:22,399 --> 01:04:25,119
was her bedroom, stood a Palestinian
662
01:04:25,119 --> 01:04:28,079
woman. She was wearing the sort of dress
663
01:04:28,079 --> 01:04:30,759
she would have worn back in Haifa. She
664
01:04:30,759 --> 01:04:32,719
was smiling and armed.
665
01:04:33,839 --> 01:04:36,639
She must have been around 50. Her gun,
666
01:04:36,959 --> 01:04:39,199
slung on a strap over her shoulder, was
667
01:04:39,199 --> 01:04:40,639
the same model as Hamza's.
668
01:04:42,479 --> 01:04:43,919
He greeted his mother in Arabic.
669
01:04:45,279 --> 01:04:47,279
She continued to smile and hold her gun.
670
01:04:48,239 --> 01:04:51,199
He introduced me in Arabic. He
671
01:04:51,199 --> 01:04:53,999
is a friend. She brushed my
672
01:04:53,999 --> 01:04:56,719
hand with her fingertips. She went into
673
01:04:56,719 --> 01:04:59,679
her room. Hamza led me into his.
674
01:05:01,679 --> 01:05:03,759
After escaping from the bombing of Haifa
675
01:05:04,479 --> 01:05:07,279
and repeatedly fleeing, this family had
676
01:05:07,279 --> 01:05:10,279
finally found a refuge in Irbid. Hamza
677
01:05:10,279 --> 01:05:11,639
and his mother would never see Haifa
678
01:05:11,639 --> 01:05:14,599
again. Hamza showed
679
01:05:14,599 --> 01:05:16,399
me his bed where I was to sleep that
680
01:05:16,399 --> 01:05:18,559
night. He was to be on duty.
681
01:05:20,239 --> 01:05:22,479
His mother came in and set a tray down on
682
01:05:22,479 --> 01:05:24,959
the low table. Two plates.
683
01:05:25,439 --> 01:05:27,999
He put pancakes, a few lettuce
684
01:05:27,999 --> 01:05:30,639
leaves, some quartered tomatoes, 4
685
01:05:30,639 --> 01:05:33,599
sardines, and I think 3
686
01:05:33,599 --> 01:05:36,439
hard boiled eggs. They
687
01:05:36,439 --> 01:05:39,279
ate Hamza and the Godless Christian.
688
01:05:40,319 --> 01:05:42,679
At about 3:00 in the afternoon in the
689
01:05:42,679 --> 01:05:44,839
month of Ramadan, when the sun had
690
01:05:44,839 --> 01:05:46,879
scarcely started to sink in the sky,
691
01:05:51,199 --> 01:05:53,119
the sounds of guns and mortars had got
692
01:05:53,119 --> 01:05:55,919
nearer, answered by bursts of machine
693
01:05:55,919 --> 01:05:57,999
gun fire and odd rifle shots of the
694
01:05:57,999 --> 01:05:59,199
fedayeen and Ibid,
695
01:06:08,339 --> 01:06:10,259
are they fully dressed on Hamza's bed,
696
01:06:11,299 --> 01:06:14,179
listening to the sound of fighting, sharp
697
01:06:14,739 --> 01:06:17,679
as though decisive. There were
698
01:06:17,679 --> 01:06:19,519
two gentle knocks on the door to my room.
699
01:06:21,639 --> 01:06:23,159
I didn't answer as I didn't know how to
700
01:06:23,159 --> 01:06:25,119
say come in in Arabic.
701
01:06:33,279 --> 01:06:36,199
The door opened. The light of the
702
01:06:36,199 --> 01:06:38,399
starry sky flooded into my room
703
01:06:39,199 --> 01:06:41,119
and behind I could see a tall shadow.
704
01:06:43,439 --> 01:06:44,639
I pretended to be asleep.
705
01:06:46,559 --> 01:06:48,799
My eyes were half closed, but I could see
706
01:06:48,799 --> 01:06:51,679
everything between my lashes. His
707
01:06:51,679 --> 01:06:52,559
mother had come in.
708
01:06:54,799 --> 01:06:56,719
Had she come out of the now ear splitting
709
01:06:56,719 --> 01:06:59,439
darkness or the freezing night that I
710
01:06:59,439 --> 01:07:00,959
always carry with me everywhere?
711
01:07:02,559 --> 01:07:04,199
She was carrying a tray, which she put
712
01:07:04,199 --> 01:07:07,079
down very gently on the low blue table
713
01:07:07,079 --> 01:07:08,559
with yellow and black flowers.
714
01:07:10,159 --> 01:07:12,879
She then moved the table and put it at
715
01:07:12,879 --> 01:07:14,479
the head of the bed so that I could reach
716
01:07:14,479 --> 01:07:17,359
it. Without making a
717
01:07:17,359 --> 01:07:19,519
sound, she went out and closed the door.
718
01:07:20,239 --> 01:07:22,199
With the starry sky gone, I could open my
719
01:07:22,199 --> 01:07:24,799
eyes. On the
720
01:07:24,799 --> 01:07:27,559
tray there was a cup of Turkish coffee
721
01:07:27,559 --> 01:07:30,319
and a glass of water. I drank them.
722
01:07:31,519 --> 01:07:33,679
I closed my eyes and waited,
723
01:07:34,479 --> 01:07:36,079
hoping I hadn't made any noise.
724
01:07:37,519 --> 01:07:39,439
Again, 2 little knocks at the door,
725
01:07:40,479 --> 01:07:41,599
just like the first two.
726
01:07:43,839 --> 01:07:45,639
In the light of the stars and the waning
727
01:07:45,639 --> 01:07:48,319
moon, the same long shadow
728
01:07:48,319 --> 01:07:51,119
appeared, this time
729
01:07:51,439 --> 01:07:54,159
familiar as though all my
730
01:07:54,159 --> 01:07:56,999
life, every night before I
731
01:07:56,999 --> 01:07:59,839
slept, at the same time the shadow had
732
01:07:59,839 --> 01:08:02,719
come into the room. Or rather, that she
733
01:08:02,719 --> 01:08:05,679
was familiar to the point of being
734
01:08:05,679 --> 01:08:07,999
inside me rather than
735
01:08:08,079 --> 01:08:11,039
outside ever since my birth.
736
01:08:11,999 --> 01:08:13,679
Coming to me through the night to bring
737
01:08:13,679 --> 01:08:15,119
me a cup of Turkish coffee.
738
01:08:16,559 --> 01:08:18,799
Through my lashes, I saw her remove the
739
01:08:18,799 --> 01:08:21,639
blue table and silently put it back in
740
01:08:21,639 --> 01:08:24,239
place with the assurance of one born
741
01:08:24,239 --> 01:08:27,199
blind. She then took up the tray
742
01:08:27,199 --> 01:08:29,519
and left, closing the door.
743
01:08:30,959 --> 01:08:33,759
It all happened so skillfully that I
744
01:08:33,759 --> 01:08:36,079
understood that his mother came every
745
01:08:36,079 --> 01:08:37,999
night to bring Hemza a cup of coffee and
746
01:08:37,999 --> 01:08:40,679
a glass of water without a
747
01:08:40,679 --> 01:08:43,519
sound. Except for four little
748
01:08:43,519 --> 01:08:45,679
taps on the door and in the distance,
749
01:08:46,479 --> 01:08:48,479
as in a picture of Ditai,
750
01:08:49,119 --> 01:08:51,519
gunfire against a background of stars.
751
01:08:52,399 --> 01:08:54,639
That night, as he was fighting in his
752
01:08:54,639 --> 01:08:57,199
room and in his bed, I had taken the
753
01:08:57,199 --> 01:08:59,599
place and perhaps the role of the sun.
754
01:09:00,719 --> 01:09:03,679
For one night, and for the duration of
755
01:09:03,679 --> 01:09:06,159
one simple, often repeated act,
756
01:09:07,199 --> 01:09:09,839
a man older than her became the sun.
757
01:09:10,279 --> 01:09:12,079
Of the mother younger than me.
758
01:09:13,839 --> 01:09:16,239
During this familiar familial
759
01:09:16,559 --> 01:09:19,199
act, she remained Hamza's mother,
760
01:09:20,159 --> 01:09:22,799
and yet became my mother too. It was
761
01:09:22,799 --> 01:09:25,279
during that night, my personal
762
01:09:25,599 --> 01:09:28,559
portable night, that the door of my
763
01:09:28,559 --> 01:09:31,359
room opened and closed again. I
764
01:09:31,359 --> 01:09:32,079
fell asleep.
765
01:09:46,479 --> 01:09:49,399
Hamza returned at dawn. His
766
01:09:49,399 --> 01:09:52,279
skin was dusty, his eyes tired,
767
01:09:52,279 --> 01:09:55,039
his smile joyful. He
768
01:09:55,039 --> 01:09:56,799
stowed his gun away in the shelter by the
769
01:09:56,799 --> 01:09:59,679
bed. He then went to bed
770
01:09:59,879 --> 01:10:01,439
and probably fell asleep right away.
771
01:10:03,839 --> 01:10:06,639
I went into his mother's room, intending
772
01:10:06,639 --> 01:10:09,359
just to say goodbye, not to linger.
773
01:10:11,119 --> 01:10:13,919
She smiled at me. She was
774
01:10:13,919 --> 01:10:16,279
crouching down. Kneading the dough for
775
01:10:16,279 --> 01:10:18,959
that evening, she stood up and
776
01:10:18,959 --> 01:10:19,999
prepared tea for me.
777
01:10:23,199 --> 01:10:24,799
I decided to leave when the collective
778
01:10:24,799 --> 01:10:26,959
taxi was ready. It was
779
01:10:26,959 --> 01:10:29,919
almost 11:00. I
780
01:10:29,919 --> 01:10:31,679
said goodbye to his mother and sister.
781
01:10:33,359 --> 01:10:34,959
They were both preparing the food for
782
01:10:34,959 --> 01:10:36,959
that evening and the coming night,
783
01:10:37,919 --> 01:10:40,239
one for her son, the other for her
784
01:10:40,239 --> 01:10:43,199
husband. I spent one or
785
01:10:43,199 --> 01:10:44,839
two hours walking through the still
786
01:10:44,839 --> 01:10:45,919
undamaged streets.
787
01:10:51,159 --> 01:10:52,919
The taxi set off towards Dura.
788
01:10:57,079 --> 01:10:59,479
As soon as we had left Jordan, the image
789
01:10:59,479 --> 01:11:01,839
of Hamza and his mother started to haunt
790
01:11:01,839 --> 01:11:04,599
me. I had not seen
791
01:11:04,599 --> 01:11:07,239
Hamza and his mother long enough to be
792
01:11:07,239 --> 01:11:09,399
sure that for the next 14 years
793
01:11:10,279 --> 01:11:12,679
it was always their true faces I saw in
794
01:11:12,679 --> 01:11:13,319
my mind.
795
01:11:20,319 --> 01:11:23,239
Why talk about this revolution?It
796
01:11:23,239 --> 01:11:25,519
too resembles a long drawn out burial
797
01:11:26,559 --> 01:11:28,559
with me following the funeral procession
798
01:11:29,359 --> 01:11:30,079
from afar.
799
01:11:46,629 --> 01:11:49,429
In my hotel room on a Walkman,
800
01:11:50,869 --> 01:11:52,469
I was listening to Mozart's Requiem.
801
01:16:50,799 --> 01:16:50,959
Oh.
802
01:21:03,759 --> 01:21:03,839
... ...
803
01:23:21,359 --> 01:23:24,079
Why talk about this revolution?It too
804
01:23:24,079 --> 01:23:26,079
resembles a long drawn out burial
805
01:23:26,959 --> 01:23:28,959
with me following the funeral procession
806
01:23:29,439 --> 01:23:30,159
from afar.
807
01:23:32,519 --> 01:23:35,279
A fedayy must conquer, die
808
01:23:35,839 --> 01:23:38,319
or betray. Either a
809
01:23:38,319 --> 01:23:41,199
Palestinian falls and dies, or
810
01:23:41,199 --> 01:23:43,759
if he survives, he is imprisoned for
811
01:23:43,759 --> 01:23:46,279
torture sessions. After that, the desert
812
01:23:46,279 --> 01:23:48,479
takes him and keeps him in the camps not
813
01:23:48,479 --> 01:23:49,519
far from Zarqa.
814
01:23:53,119 --> 01:23:55,679
I was told that this was Hamza's fate.
815
01:23:57,199 --> 01:23:59,919
Since December 1971, I
816
01:23:59,919 --> 01:24:02,399
haven't met anybody able to confirm to me
817
01:24:02,399 --> 01:24:03,759
that Hamza is still alive.
818
01:24:06,959 --> 01:24:08,879
I am unable to explain the origin of the
819
01:24:08,879 --> 01:24:11,839
resistance. It must be stated,
820
01:24:11,839 --> 01:24:14,639
however, that hundreds of years are
821
01:24:14,639 --> 01:24:17,279
not enough for the final destruction of
822
01:24:17,279 --> 01:24:17,679
the people.
823
01:24:21,839 --> 01:24:24,159
The defeat of the Palestinians from Salt
824
01:24:24,319 --> 01:24:26,399
to Irbid, either through murder,
825
01:24:27,199 --> 01:24:30,159
escape, imprisonment, torture camps,
826
01:24:30,799 --> 01:24:32,919
showed me that the lightness of the
827
01:24:32,919 --> 01:24:35,799
Fedayeen's lives was in fact caused by
828
01:24:35,839 --> 01:24:38,479
the closeness of death always floating
829
01:24:38,479 --> 01:24:41,479
over them. The Fedayeen who had
830
01:24:41,479 --> 01:24:43,679
become my friends, though this was a
831
01:24:43,679 --> 01:24:46,399
friendship never leaned on, were
832
01:24:46,399 --> 01:24:49,359
killed. Injured, imprisoned,
833
01:24:49,359 --> 01:24:52,359
on the run, or they had regrouped
834
01:24:52,359 --> 01:24:54,479
to fight other battles in othercountries.
835
01:25:00,779 --> 01:25:01,979
Why did I come back here?
836
01:25:03,899 --> 01:25:06,779
Would I ever see Hamza again?Do I
837
01:25:06,779 --> 01:25:07,979
need to see him again?
838
01:25:09,899 --> 01:25:11,899
His mother must have become transparent
839
01:25:11,899 --> 01:25:14,619
by now, almost invisible.
840
01:25:16,299 --> 01:25:19,139
Did I have to see in her more than the
841
01:25:19,139 --> 01:25:22,079
remains of a life?She and
842
01:25:22,079 --> 01:25:24,559
her son, their love,
843
01:25:25,919 --> 01:25:28,559
my love for them. Didn't they
844
01:25:28,559 --> 01:25:30,719
tell all there was to tell about myself?
845
01:25:32,839 --> 01:25:35,199
When I returned to Irbid in 1984,
846
01:25:36,319 --> 01:25:38,959
the discovery of the town, the
847
01:25:38,959 --> 01:25:41,759
camp, their house, his mother,
848
01:25:42,919 --> 01:25:45,839
all of Hamza's glorious past was indeed
849
01:25:45,839 --> 01:25:48,559
the past after the
850
01:25:48,559 --> 01:25:51,519
massacres at Ajlun and Irbid. The
851
01:25:51,519 --> 01:25:53,519
Jordanian army had tortured Hamza. He
852
01:25:54,319 --> 01:25:56,479
had been imprisoned in a camp at Zarqa.
853
01:25:57,999 --> 01:26:00,119
What had happened to him at Zarqa and
854
01:26:00,119 --> 01:26:03,119
what kind of life did he live there if he
855
01:26:03,119 --> 01:26:06,079
was still alive?So we
856
01:26:06,079 --> 01:26:09,039
set out for Irbid, Nidal and I. Now,
857
01:26:09,999 --> 01:26:12,479
Nidal is the name of a blonde and very
858
01:26:12,479 --> 01:26:14,639
beautiful Lebanese woman who speaks
859
01:26:14,639 --> 01:26:17,599
Arabic and French. I had
860
01:26:17,599 --> 01:26:19,399
talked a lot about Hamza and his life in
861
01:26:19,399 --> 01:26:21,839
prison. His supposed tortures.
862
01:26:22,399 --> 01:26:24,959
The Zarka desert. His probable death.
863
01:26:25,839 --> 01:26:28,319
We traveled from Amman to Irbid. It took
864
01:26:28,319 --> 01:26:31,119
two hours by car. The
865
01:26:31,119 --> 01:26:33,999
front door was open. Nidal went in
866
01:26:33,999 --> 01:26:36,479
first. I went up the three steps.
867
01:26:36,799 --> 01:26:39,239
Nidal was already talking to a frail old
868
01:26:39,239 --> 01:26:40,239
woman with white hair.
869
01:26:42,879 --> 01:26:44,719
I cautiously stretched my hand towards
870
01:26:44,719 --> 01:26:47,439
her. She touched it as a cat mite wet its
871
01:26:47,439 --> 01:26:50,319
paw. She also said sit down.
872
01:26:51,279 --> 01:26:53,519
Nidal asked her. Do you recognize this
873
01:26:53,519 --> 01:26:56,399
Frenchman?My eyes are very bad now.
874
01:26:57,119 --> 01:26:58,999
He came here to your place with Hamza in
875
01:26:58,999 --> 01:27:01,919
1970. She said in a very
876
01:27:01,919 --> 01:27:04,879
low voice. I remember that one day my son
877
01:27:04,879 --> 01:27:07,399
came in during Ramadan with a
878
01:27:07,399 --> 01:27:10,359
foreigner, perhaps a Frenchman. I don't
879
01:27:10,359 --> 01:27:13,239
remember. The longer I
880
01:27:13,239 --> 01:27:14,879
looked at the wrinkles around her mouth
881
01:27:15,039 --> 01:27:17,599
and those on her forehead, the less I
882
01:27:17,599 --> 01:27:20,359
recognized the woman I had known. Lively
883
01:27:20,359 --> 01:27:23,199
and strong. Hamza is working in
884
01:27:23,199 --> 01:27:25,519
Germany. He is married to a German,
885
01:27:26,399 --> 01:27:29,119
she said. I can't give you his address. I
886
01:27:29,119 --> 01:27:31,439
don't have it. This is his phone number.
887
01:27:31,599 --> 01:27:33,919
You can phone him this evening from the
888
01:27:33,919 --> 01:27:34,399
phone booth.
889
01:27:37,839 --> 01:27:39,679
As soon as I got back to Amman that
890
01:27:39,679 --> 01:27:41,439
evening, I dialed the code of a town in
891
01:27:41,439 --> 01:27:43,839
Germany and then Hamza's number
892
01:27:44,639 --> 01:27:47,039
in Germany. Somebody answered.
893
01:27:47,599 --> 01:27:50,479
Hamza Nam. Yes, in
894
01:27:50,479 --> 01:27:53,119
Arabic. When I rang Hamza, the first
895
01:27:53,119 --> 01:27:54,839
thing that surprised me was the
896
01:27:54,879 --> 01:27:57,439
gentleness of his voice. In that
897
01:27:57,879 --> 01:28:00,439
there was a true despair. Are you going
898
01:28:00,439 --> 01:28:03,119
to return one day to your country?Which
899
01:28:03,119 --> 01:28:05,999
country?Jordan. That isn't
900
01:28:05,999 --> 01:28:07,839
my country, Jean. I'm
901
01:28:08,559 --> 01:28:11,359
finished. I have Gray hair at
902
01:28:11,359 --> 01:28:14,319
my temples. My injuries often hurt me.
903
01:28:15,359 --> 01:28:17,039
Even if I hadn't forgotten his voice,
904
01:28:17,359 --> 01:28:19,119
it's very gentleness surprised me.
905
01:28:20,639 --> 01:28:22,759
And once again, the thought passed
906
01:28:22,759 --> 01:28:25,399
through my mind. It isn't the justice of
907
01:28:25,399 --> 01:28:27,679
their cause that moves me, it's its
908
01:28:27,679 --> 01:28:28,319
rightness.
909
01:28:33,039 --> 01:28:35,199
When I left the house, I knew that I had
910
01:28:35,199 --> 01:28:37,519
encountered the poetry of the
911
01:28:37,519 --> 01:28:39,359
70s with the Fedayeen,
912
01:28:40,679 --> 01:28:43,279
a total confidence, cautiously aware
913
01:28:45,039 --> 01:28:47,919
I was afraid. As I felt the warm air
914
01:28:47,919 --> 01:28:50,799
outside on my face, it
915
01:28:50,799 --> 01:28:52,999
seemed to me that everything that had
916
01:28:52,999 --> 01:28:55,119
taken place in that house had been a
917
01:28:55,119 --> 01:28:57,359
dream. I left
918
01:28:58,319 --> 01:29:00,959
almost on tiptoe, as one leaves a
919
01:29:00,959 --> 01:29:03,359
room where the bed itself has fallen
920
01:29:03,359 --> 01:29:03,799
asleep.
921
01:29:08,719 --> 01:29:11,679
In September 1982, the massacre
922
01:29:11,679 --> 01:29:14,319
at Shatila wasn't perhaps the turning
923
01:29:14,319 --> 01:29:16,799
point. It happened.
924
01:29:17,759 --> 01:29:20,639
I was affected by it. I talked about
925
01:29:20,639 --> 01:29:23,119
it. I decided to write this book.
926
01:29:25,359 --> 01:29:27,759
Everything that wasn't this book became
927
01:29:27,759 --> 01:29:30,239
distant, almost invisible.
928
01:29:31,999 --> 01:29:33,519
All that I have said and written
929
01:29:34,159 --> 01:29:36,879
happened. But
930
01:29:36,879 --> 01:29:39,439
why is this couple the only real,
931
01:29:39,759 --> 01:29:41,919
profound memory I have left of the
932
01:29:41,919 --> 01:29:44,719
Palestinian revolution?I
933
01:29:44,719 --> 01:29:47,079
did the best I could. To understand to
934
01:29:47,079 --> 01:29:49,759
what extent this revolution was unlike
935
01:29:49,759 --> 01:29:52,639
others, and in a certain way I
936
01:29:52,639 --> 01:29:55,599
did understand. But what remains of it
937
01:29:55,599 --> 01:29:58,479
for me will always be this small house
938
01:29:58,479 --> 01:30:00,959
in Irbid where I slept one night
939
01:30:01,679 --> 01:30:04,319
and 14 years during which I tried to know
940
01:30:04,319 --> 01:30:07,279
if this night had really happened. This
941
01:30:07,279 --> 01:30:10,039
last page of my book is transparent.
942
01:31:58,979 --> 01:32:01,299
The page that was before white
943
01:32:02,979 --> 01:32:05,219
is now overrun from top to bottom with
944
01:32:05,219 --> 01:32:06,419
tiny black marks.
945
01:32:08,019 --> 01:32:10,419
Is reality the sum of these black marks?
946
01:32:12,899 --> 01:32:15,559
Was the Palestinian revolution?Written on
947
01:32:15,559 --> 01:32:18,479
nothingness. An artifice
948
01:32:18,479 --> 01:32:19,439
upon nothingness.
63034
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