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1
00:00:05,610 --> 00:00:07,950
Oh,I took way too much hand cream.
Here.
2
00:00:09,480 --> 00:00:10,920
What do you want me to do?
3
00:00:10,920 --> 00:00:13,310
Take my extra cream.
4
00:00:13,660 --> 00:00:14,910
What?
5
00:00:15,550 --> 00:00:19,510
Rub your hands against mine
and wipe some of this off.
6
00:00:19,910 --> 00:00:22,180
I'm just trying to live my life here.
7
00:00:22,180 --> 00:00:25,010
It's expensive lotion.
I don't want to waste it.
8
00:00:25,010 --> 00:00:27,950
Joy,get a kleenex
and sacrifice the cream.
9
00:00:28,970 --> 00:00:31,950
Is touching me really
that repulsive to you?
10
00:00:31,950 --> 00:00:33,900
Right now,yes.
11
00:00:34,050 --> 00:00:36,350
The thought of clasping
your greasy hands
12
00:00:36,350 --> 00:00:38,380
to transfer your cream onto me
13
00:00:38,380 --> 00:00:40,520
is making me want to throw up.
14
00:00:40,520 --> 00:00:42,140
Are you happy?
15
00:00:42,720 --> 00:00:44,200
Oh,you're taking my cream.
16
00:00:44,200 --> 00:00:45,820
No,I'm not.
17
00:00:47,650 --> 00:00:49,360
Oh,god!
18
00:00:51,100 --> 00:00:52,760
-Stop iT.
-Stop it.
19
00:00:59,760 --> 00:01:02,270
Ok,was that foreplay
or is this over?
20
00:01:12,360 --> 00:01:13,820
you almost ready?
21
00:01:13,820 --> 00:01:16,400
You are not going to believe this.
22
00:01:19,960 --> 00:01:22,170
Good lord. That came from one toe?
23
00:01:23,100 --> 00:01:25,120
I didn't think I'd get her clean.
24
00:01:27,400 --> 00:01:29,350
I could harvest wheat with
that thing.
25
00:01:33,570 --> 00:01:35,320
I'm very proud. We have to go.
26
00:01:35,990 --> 00:01:37,760
So tell me--tell me
why we're going out
27
00:01:37,760 --> 00:01:39,240
with the woodcocks again.
28
00:01:39,240 --> 00:01:41,550
They are taking us
to dinner to thank us.
29
00:01:41,550 --> 00:01:42,610
What for?
30
00:01:42,610 --> 00:01:43,970
For having them over for dinner.
31
00:01:43,970 --> 00:01:45,050
And after they take us out
32
00:01:45,050 --> 00:01:46,190
to dinner to thank us,
33
00:01:46,190 --> 00:01:47,320
are we then required to
34
00:01:47,320 --> 00:01:48,920
take them out to dinner
to thank them
35
00:01:48,920 --> 00:01:50,030
for the thank you dinner
36
00:01:50,030 --> 00:01:52,200
that they took us to?
37
00:01:52,200 --> 00:01:54,550
Don't you see?
This is a vicious circle
38
00:01:54,550 --> 00:01:55,550
of thank you hell
39
00:01:55,550 --> 00:01:58,310
that I want to get off the
merry-go-round,lady.
40
00:01:58,970 --> 00:02:00,510
Put on a shirt.
41
00:02:00,510 --> 00:02:01,890
Ok.
42
00:02:07,790 --> 00:02:09,920
No.
43
00:02:11,070 --> 00:02:13,190
Eddie,the toilet is still running.
44
00:02:13,190 --> 00:02:14,580
It is driving me insane.
45
00:02:14,580 --> 00:02:16,350
Are you ever going to fix that thing?
46
00:02:16,350 --> 00:02:17,920
The problem isn't the toilet,
47
00:02:17,920 --> 00:02:19,530
the problem is you.
48
00:02:19,530 --> 00:02:21,350
You flush wrong.
49
00:02:21,960 --> 00:02:23,390
Ok. I know how to flush a toilet.
50
00:02:23,390 --> 00:02:25,800
I've been flushing toilets my entire life.
51
00:02:25,800 --> 00:02:27,890
Yes,but not well.
52
00:02:31,200 --> 00:02:32,860
A toast to our new neighbors
53
00:02:32,860 --> 00:02:34,350
who took us under their
54
00:02:34,350 --> 00:02:34,990
wing,had us for dinner
55
00:02:34,990 --> 00:02:36,440
when we didn't know anybody.
56
00:02:36,440 --> 00:02:37,870
Thank you,guys. Seriously.
57
00:02:37,870 --> 00:02:39,840
Happy to do it.
58
00:02:41,440 --> 00:02:44,050
So,we're all even-steven
59
00:02:44,050 --> 00:02:46,090
with the thank yous,right?
60
00:02:46,090 --> 00:02:47,910
Nobody owes anybody anything.
61
00:02:47,910 --> 00:02:50,070
We just get to all walk away clean.
62
00:02:54,550 --> 00:02:55,760
Oh,the french sure
63
00:02:55,760 --> 00:02:58,590
like their old-fashioned ads,
don they?
64
00:02:59,750 --> 00:03:01,230
Are you folks ready to order?
65
00:03:01,230 --> 00:03:03,880
Um,I would like to have the onion soup
66
00:03:03,880 --> 00:03:06,430
and then the mussels.
67
00:03:06,520 --> 00:03:08,460
And anybody wine?
68
00:03:08,770 --> 00:03:09,720
I'm ok.
69
00:03:09,720 --> 00:03:11,930
Bottle of merlot. One glass.
70
00:03:12,850 --> 00:03:15,640
Um,trout salad for me,please.
71
00:03:18,610 --> 00:03:21,680
I'll,um,I'll go
with the half a chicken,
72
00:03:21,680 --> 00:03:24,390
and I'm desperately hoping
that pommes frites
73
00:03:24,390 --> 00:03:26,010
are french fries.
74
00:03:26,980 --> 00:03:30,480
Aw. I was going to get that.
75
00:03:31,170 --> 00:03:33,290
So,what's the problem?
76
00:03:33,290 --> 00:03:35,470
I don't want to get
the same thing as you.
77
00:03:35,470 --> 00:03:36,690
Why not?
78
00:03:36,690 --> 00:03:37,540
Don't you think it'd be more fun
79
00:03:37,540 --> 00:03:40,010
if we all get different things?
80
00:03:40,010 --> 00:03:41,640
I think it'd be exactly the same amount
81
00:03:41,640 --> 00:03:43,880
of fun either way.
82
00:03:45,660 --> 00:03:48,160
Just for variety,
sometimes we like to,
83
00:03:48,160 --> 00:03:50,710
you know, taste each other's food.
84
00:03:50,710 --> 00:03:54,200
You'd like that,wouldn't you,mr.
Trout salad?
85
00:03:54,200 --> 00:03:56,560
Sweetie,maybe you should just
change your order.
86
00:03:56,560 --> 00:03:59,070
No. I have nev seen anything
like this in my life.
87
00:03:59,070 --> 00:04:01,220
I want the half chicken.
88
00:04:01,220 --> 00:04:02,920
Honey,I'm sure there's another half
89
00:04:02,920 --> 00:04:04,610
of another animal on this menu
90
00:04:04,610 --> 00:04:06,250
that appeals to you.
91
00:04:11,880 --> 00:04:14,480
Just switch me to the steak,rene.
92
00:04:14,480 --> 00:04:17,320
And I will have...
93
00:04:22,260 --> 00:04:23,420
if she doesn't order the chicken,
94
00:04:23,420 --> 00:04:25,780
I'm going to tip this table over.
95
00:04:25,780 --> 00:04:28,010
I'll go with the chicken.
96
00:04:28,520 --> 00:04:30,700
So,what are you two up to for the weekend?
97
00:04:30,700 --> 00:04:32,730
Well,tomorrow we're going hiking.
98
00:04:32,730 --> 00:04:33,870
-Nice.
-You guys hike?
99
00:04:33,870 --> 00:04:35,680
Oh,god,no.
100
00:04:36,150 --> 00:04:38,120
No,I find the silence of the woods
101
00:04:38,120 --> 00:04:39,890
a little terrifying.
102
00:04:39,890 --> 00:04:41,270
We love it.
103
00:04:41,270 --> 00:04:42,370
Jeff actually proposed
104
00:04:42,370 --> 00:04:43,610
to me on a hike.
105
00:04:43,610 --> 00:04:45,320
Guilty as charged.
106
00:04:45,320 --> 00:04:46,470
It was so romantic.
107
00:04:46,470 --> 00:04:48,330
We were in colorado
and we hiked up this mountain
108
00:04:48,330 --> 00:04:50,690
to watch the sunrise
and when we got up there,
109
00:04:50,690 --> 00:04:53,850
there was already
this wonderful picnic
110
00:04:53,850 --> 00:04:55,220
I hiked up in the middle of the night
111
00:04:55,220 --> 00:04:56,670
and I set it all up.
112
00:04:56,670 --> 00:04:59,590
And then I noticed his face
was kind of bloody.
113
00:04:59,590 --> 00:05:01,640
My foot got caught
on a root on the way down
114
00:05:01,640 --> 00:05:04,370
and I went face first
into an old bridge.
115
00:05:04,950 --> 00:05:06,860
Chipped the orbital
bone around my eye,
116
00:05:06,860 --> 00:05:09,860
but it was all worth it.
117
00:05:09,860 --> 00:05:11,690
Anyways,the sun came up,
118
00:05:11,690 --> 00:05:13,580
he told me he wanted
to be with me forever,
119
00:05:13,580 --> 00:05:16,100
and then handed me half a cantaloupe.
120
00:05:16,100 --> 00:05:17,670
That's her favorite melon.
121
00:05:17,670 --> 00:05:19,100
And right there in the middle of it--
122
00:05:19,100 --> 00:05:20,300
in the,you know--
123
00:05:20,300 --> 00:05:21,090
the part with the seeds?
124
00:05:21,090 --> 00:05:23,870
There was this incredible diamond ring.
125
00:05:25,950 --> 00:05:27,460
It's beautiful.
126
00:05:29,200 --> 00:05:31,130
Pardon me,ladies.
127
00:05:32,040 --> 00:05:35,130
I'm going to go bomb downtown paris.
128
00:05:40,210 --> 00:05:43,020
How can you not think their
story was romantic?
129
00:05:43,020 --> 00:05:43,930
Oh,come on.
130
00:05:43,930 --> 00:05:47,510
Her ring is buried in some
stringy melon crud,
131
00:05:47,510 --> 00:05:49,250
his eyeball's falling out.
132
00:05:49,250 --> 00:05:51,460
It sounds like a horror movie.
133
00:05:52,010 --> 00:05:53,650
And I suppose you think
the way you proposed
134
00:05:53,650 --> 00:05:54,780
to me was better.
135
00:05:54,780 --> 00:05:56,130
Absolutely.
136
00:05:56,130 --> 00:05:58,870
On the way out of the
movie top gun?
137
00:06:01,030 --> 00:06:03,100
Yes. I was emotional
138
00:06:03,100 --> 00:06:04,490
and I asked if you would ride
139
00:06:04,490 --> 00:06:07,160
into the danger zone with me.
140
00:06:10,030 --> 00:06:11,890
And then your datsun broke down
141
00:06:11,890 --> 00:06:13,240
and we literally had to push it
142
00:06:13,240 --> 00:06:16,000
through the danger zone
during a police strike.
143
00:06:16,550 --> 00:06:18,640
You know what?
When I saw you push that car
144
00:06:18,640 --> 00:06:20,960
,I knew you were the girl for me.
145
00:06:20,960 --> 00:06:24,080
You got a lot of power
in that lower body.
146
00:06:26,030 --> 00:06:28,740
Yeah,well i thought
that steph's ring was really nice,
147
00:06:28,740 --> 00:06:31,040
and I seemed to recall,
while we were rocking
148
00:06:31,040 --> 00:06:33,520
your datsun out of a pothole,
149
00:06:33,520 --> 00:06:35,880
that you promised
that you would buy me an engagement ring
150
00:06:35,880 --> 00:06:38,320
when you had more money,
but you never did.
151
00:06:38,320 --> 00:06:39,810
I see.
152
00:06:39,810 --> 00:06:41,790
So,the problem is the little woodcock girl
153
00:06:41,790 --> 00:06:43,950
has a ring and you don'T.
154
00:06:44,820 --> 00:06:46,140
Maybe.
155
00:06:46,930 --> 00:06:48,810
And are you aware that illegal,
156
00:06:48,810 --> 00:06:51,250
or blood diamonds,as
157
00:06:51,250 --> 00:06:53,020
they're more commonly known,
158
00:06:53,020 --> 00:06:55,750
have funded civil wars throughout africa
159
00:06:55,750 --> 00:06:57,530
and have played a part in the deaths
160
00:06:57,530 --> 00:06:59,860
of thousands of innocent people.
161
00:07:00,920 --> 00:07:03,150
They're so sparkly.
162
00:07:04,030 --> 00:07:06,560
Joy,we have been together forever,ok?
163
00:07:06,560 --> 00:07:10,330
Diamond rings are for young,
stupid people.
164
00:07:10,330 --> 00:07:12,370
And come on. Do you really expect me to
165
00:07:12,370 --> 00:07:14,200
buy you an engagement ring?
166
00:07:14,200 --> 00:07:15,620
You're not like that.
167
00:07:15,620 --> 00:07:17,840
You know what? Maybe I am like that.
168
00:07:17,840 --> 00:07:19,000
Is that so crazy?
169
00:07:19,000 --> 00:07:20,920
You promised me one.
170
00:07:20,920 --> 00:07:22,460
Ok,again,
171
00:07:22,460 --> 00:07:24,750
right after top gun.
I was emotional.
172
00:07:24,750 --> 00:07:27,060
Goose was dead.
173
00:07:29,630 --> 00:07:30,930
I don't think that it's so awful
174
00:07:30,930 --> 00:07:32,700
that I should be able
to look down at my hand
175
00:07:32,700 --> 00:07:34,640
and see a symbol of our love.
176
00:07:34,640 --> 00:07:36,740
Ok. How about the symbol of our love
177
00:07:36,740 --> 00:07:39,210
is the fact that we're not divorced?
178
00:07:45,470 --> 00:07:47,450
Here we go with the slamming.
179
00:07:47,450 --> 00:07:48,920
You know what? Never mind.
180
00:07:48,920 --> 00:07:52,500
I don't know why after 20 years
I should expect anything different.
181
00:07:52,500 --> 00:07:54,090
You are a passionless,
182
00:07:54,090 --> 00:07:56,210
completely unromantic person.
183
00:07:56,210 --> 00:07:57,440
Which was fine with you
184
00:07:57,440 --> 00:07:59,970
until the woodcocks moved in next door.
185
00:07:59,970 --> 00:08:02,980
Yeah,ok,fine. Going out
with them opened my eyes.
186
00:08:02,980 --> 00:08:05,200
He actually fed her dessert.
187
00:08:05,200 --> 00:08:08,920
Yeah,did you see the way
she choked a little on that big spoon?
188
00:08:11,870 --> 00:08:13,720
It was fantastic.
189
00:08:15,710 --> 00:08:18,220
Oh,and,of course,
the toilet is still running.
190
00:08:18,220 --> 00:08:19,950
I guess this is our life.
191
00:08:19,950 --> 00:08:21,420
Hope you're happy.
192
00:08:21,420 --> 00:08:22,320
I'd be a lot happier
193
00:08:22,320 --> 00:08:25,160
if you'd learn how
to flush correctly.
194
00:08:25,160 --> 00:08:27,420
I know how to flush a toilet.
195
00:08:28,980 --> 00:08:31,310
No,you don'T.
196
00:08:35,000 --> 00:08:36,090
I really think it's wonderful
197
00:08:36,090 --> 00:08:37,620
that you're celebrating joy this way.
198
00:08:37,620 --> 00:08:38,440
Ok. First of all,
199
00:08:38,440 --> 00:08:39,660
take 2 steps back,
200
00:08:39,660 --> 00:08:42,440
because I feel your hot
breath on my neck.
201
00:08:43,980 --> 00:08:45,360
Hey,how about that one there?
202
00:08:45,360 --> 00:08:46,890
Whoa,whoa,whoa. Hold on.
203
00:08:46,890 --> 00:08:49,230
You can't just pick out a ring
that quickly.
204
00:08:49,230 --> 00:08:50,520
Ok,woodcockless,
205
00:08:50,520 --> 00:08:53,260
we are caddy corner to a jodi
maroni sausage den
206
00:08:53,260 --> 00:08:55,600
and it just happens
to be andooey tuesday.
207
00:08:55,600 --> 00:08:57,630
So,we're going to make
all of this go quick.
208
00:08:57,630 --> 00:08:58,950
What can I do for you today?
209
00:08:58,950 --> 00:09:01,690
My friend here is looking to buy
an engagement ring.
210
00:09:01,690 --> 00:09:03,960
Great.And how much
are you looking to spend?
211
00:09:03,960 --> 00:09:05,900
$10,000,000.
212
00:09:05,900 --> 00:09:07,320
That's why I'm buying diamonds at a store
213
00:09:07,320 --> 00:09:09,620
next to a lady foot locker.
214
00:09:09,620 --> 00:09:11,570
Why don't you just put that one in a bag?
215
00:09:12,370 --> 00:09:14,360
Well,I really wouldn't be doing my job
216
00:09:14,360 --> 00:09:16,120
if I didn't mention the 4 cs.
217
00:09:16,120 --> 00:09:18,940
They stand for color, cut,clarity,
and carat.
218
00:09:18,940 --> 00:09:20,340
Hey,you know what, woodcock?
219
00:09:20,340 --> 00:09:22,600
I think it's time
for you to go up to level 3
220
00:09:22,600 --> 00:09:24,210
and build a bear.
221
00:09:24,210 --> 00:09:26,680
I am trying to help.
222
00:09:26,680 --> 00:09:29,130
Well,why don't you tell me
a little bit about the bride.
223
00:09:29,130 --> 00:09:30,660
Is she a romantic type?
224
00:09:30,660 --> 00:09:31,990
Not really.
225
00:09:31,990 --> 00:09:33,450
Is she a bit funky?
226
00:09:33,450 --> 00:09:35,660
Sometimes after she jogs.
227
00:09:39,300 --> 00:09:42,070
Actually,I meant is she free
spirited or more--
228
00:09:42,070 --> 00:09:43,880
look,look,look.
I'm just gonna level with you.
229
00:09:43,880 --> 00:09:46,990
She's just really pissed off
and I really want sausage,ok?
230
00:09:46,990 --> 00:09:50,900
So,look,I've got $1,500
available on my discover card.
231
00:09:50,900 --> 00:09:53,360
I'm going to close my eyes
and you're going to make it happen.
232
00:09:53,360 --> 00:09:54,560
Ok,eddie, I really think--
233
00:09:54,560 --> 00:09:57,060
that bear's not going to build itself.
234
00:10:05,280 --> 00:10:08,290
There's my sweet ass baby. Think fast.
235
00:10:14,350 --> 00:10:15,410
What is this?
236
00:10:15,410 --> 00:10:16,680
There it is.
237
00:10:16,680 --> 00:10:18,740
A symbol of our love.
238
00:10:20,690 --> 00:10:22,120
-You bought me a ring?
-Yep.
239
00:10:22,120 --> 00:10:23,160
And,it wasn't cheap,
240
00:10:23,160 --> 00:10:26,930
so feel free to start taking off
my pants at any time.
241
00:10:29,660 --> 00:10:31,520
Check out the inscription.
242
00:10:32,050 --> 00:10:37,450
If found,call 215-227-3898.
243
00:10:37,450 --> 00:10:39,420
It's our phone number.
244
00:10:39,420 --> 00:10:42,470
So,basically, it's a dog tag.
245
00:10:43,040 --> 00:10:45,690
Ok. What exactly is your problem?
246
00:10:45,690 --> 00:10:47,260
-What's my problem?
-Yes.
247
00:10:47,260 --> 00:10:48,720
What's my problem?
248
00:10:48,720 --> 00:10:50,170
That's the question on the table.
249
00:10:50,170 --> 00:10:51,660
You want to know what my problem is?
250
00:10:51,660 --> 00:10:53,870
I don't know how to make
that any clearer.
251
00:10:54,440 --> 00:10:56,670
You're sitting there watching tv.
252
00:10:56,670 --> 00:10:58,110
You throw this ring at me,
253
00:10:58,110 --> 00:10:59,990
you hit me pretty hard in the boob--
254
00:10:59,990 --> 00:11:02,210
-I lobbed it.
-You winged it.
255
00:11:02,210 --> 00:11:04,970
Oh,come on. It was a gentle,
festive toss
256
00:11:04,970 --> 00:11:08,430
like I was pitching soft ball
to a slow kid.
257
00:11:09,660 --> 00:11:11,510
Look...
258
00:11:13,950 --> 00:11:16,990
the point is,I'm a little shocked
at your response here.
259
00:11:16,990 --> 00:11:18,500
-Really?
-Yes.
260
00:11:18,500 --> 00:11:20,250
Joy,we've been married for 20 years,
261
00:11:20,250 --> 00:11:23,610
and,after one very buttery,
hard to digest french meal,
262
00:11:23,610 --> 00:11:26,390
all of a sudden
you're demanding an engagement ring,
263
00:11:26,390 --> 00:11:27,790
which,quite frankly,
264
00:11:27,790 --> 00:11:29,570
is like slopping a new hood
ornament on a car
265
00:11:29,570 --> 00:11:32,440
that I've been driving
since high school.
266
00:11:38,140 --> 00:11:39,760
So,first,
267
00:11:39,760 --> 00:11:43,530
I'm pushing your datsun,
now I am your datsun.
268
00:11:44,230 --> 00:11:45,650
Look,the point is,
269
00:11:45,650 --> 00:11:48,340
I sucked it up,
I got you your stupid ring,
270
00:11:48,340 --> 00:11:50,390
and you're still yapping.
271
00:11:50,670 --> 00:11:53,170
What you obviously don't understand
272
00:11:53,170 --> 00:11:55,120
is that it is not just about the ring,
273
00:11:55,120 --> 00:11:57,270
it is about the whole experience.
274
00:11:57,270 --> 00:12:01,030
It's about the emotion, the romancE.
275
00:12:05,930 --> 00:12:07,120
Like that.
276
00:12:07,120 --> 00:12:08,340
I want some of that.
277
00:12:08,340 --> 00:12:09,610
What?
278
00:12:09,610 --> 00:12:12,480
The woodcocks are dining by candlelight.
279
00:12:12,480 --> 00:12:14,630
On a tuesday?
280
00:12:15,690 --> 00:12:18,740
Oh,no,no. Now they've gone too far.
281
00:12:23,110 --> 00:12:25,580
-Hey,buddy.
-Ok,that's enough.
282
00:12:25,580 --> 00:12:27,040
What are you doing?
283
00:12:27,040 --> 00:12:28,700
We get it. You love each other.
284
00:12:28,700 --> 00:12:31,350
Now stop shoving it down
the world's throat.
285
00:12:31,660 --> 00:12:32,960
We're having dinner in our house.
286
00:12:32,960 --> 00:12:35,870
Well,at least have the decency
to draw the drapes.
287
00:12:35,870 --> 00:12:38,500
You' making me look bad with all the wine
288
00:12:38,500 --> 00:12:40,870
and the candles and--
289
00:12:40,870 --> 00:12:42,550
what is this,veal?
290
00:12:42,550 --> 00:12:44,580
Yes.
291
00:12:45,770 --> 00:12:47,660
This is phenomenal.
292
00:12:47,660 --> 00:12:49,070
What's on this?
293
00:12:49,070 --> 00:12:51,240
Simple butter herb rub.
294
00:12:51,240 --> 00:12:52,990
Well,bravo,huh?
295
00:12:52,990 --> 00:12:55,820
Come on. Come on. You kids eat,too.
296
00:12:55,820 --> 00:12:57,540
Look,I got to tell you,
I'm sorry about all the yelling.
297
00:12:57,540 --> 00:12:59,620
It's just that, you know,I was hungry.
298
00:12:59,620 --> 00:13:01,760
All I had for lunch today
was those three sausages
299
00:13:01,760 --> 00:13:03,610
and a half a chicken.
300
00:13:04,700 --> 00:13:06,350
That's ok.
301
00:13:07,300 --> 00:13:10,260
Got into a big fight with joy,
and,you know,
302
00:13:10,260 --> 00:13:12,210
she really didn't like the ring I got.
303
00:13:12,210 --> 00:13:14,200
It didn't go over too well.
304
00:13:14,200 --> 00:13:15,560
Someone should have listened to me
305
00:13:15,560 --> 00:13:17,710
about the emerald cut.
306
00:13:18,310 --> 00:13:20,880
Well,it wasn't that,woodcocks.
307
00:13:20,880 --> 00:13:22,990
She didn't like my presentation.
308
00:13:22,990 --> 00:13:25,250
Well,how'd you give it to her?
309
00:13:25,250 --> 00:13:27,790
Well,I,sort of, you know,gently...
310
00:13:27,900 --> 00:13:29,560
threw it at her.
311
00:13:31,340 --> 00:13:32,500
We've been married 20 years.
312
00:13:32,500 --> 00:13:34,920
You can't walk across a room every time.
313
00:13:35,510 --> 00:13:36,940
Can I say something?
314
00:13:36,940 --> 00:13:39,210
You make a nice veal. Go ahead.
315
00:13:39,410 --> 00:13:41,410
Well,I don't think it matters
316
00:13:41,410 --> 00:13:43,690
if you've been married 20
years or 2 weeks.
317
00:13:43,690 --> 00:13:45,770
Women want you to make a little
bit of an effort.
318
00:13:45,980 --> 00:13:48,450
I an,for no reason,
jeff came home today
319
00:13:48,450 --> 00:13:51,550
and had built me the cutest bear.
320
00:13:57,490 --> 00:14:00,140
All right,so, um,
you people are the experts on,
321
00:14:00,140 --> 00:14:03,320
the,um,creepy teddy bear love thing,
322
00:14:03,320 --> 00:14:04,750
I give myself over to you.
323
00:14:04,750 --> 00:14:07,210
What can I do to make
this right with joy?
324
00:14:07,210 --> 00:14:09,920
Well,clearly you need to propose
the right way.
325
00:14:09,920 --> 00:14:13,120
Ok,so tell me how I should
get engaged to my wife,
326
00:14:13,120 --> 00:14:16,620
who've I've been married
to since you were 5?
327
00:14:16,620 --> 00:14:17,710
And,don't say hiking,
328
00:14:17,710 --> 00:14:20,570
because I'm allergic to most
grasses and barks.
329
00:14:21,540 --> 00:14:23,960
Well,you could go for the classic.
330
00:14:23,960 --> 00:14:26,160
A trail of rose petals leading up
to your bedroom,
331
00:14:26,160 --> 00:14:27,160
and then when she gets there,
332
00:14:27,160 --> 00:14:30,610
she discovers you with
a thousand lit candles.
333
00:14:32,280 --> 00:14:35,180
Ok,that's a trip to 2 stores.
What else you got?
334
00:14:36,360 --> 00:14:37,260
There was this one thing I thought
335
00:14:37,260 --> 00:14:40,250
about for doingfor steph
before I came up with the hike idea.
336
00:14:40,250 --> 00:14:41,410
What was that?
337
00:14:42,120 --> 00:14:44,110
Well,I was going to jump out of
a small plane
338
00:14:44,110 --> 00:14:46,240
and then parachute down into this field
339
00:14:46,240 --> 00:14:48,340
where there would be a string
quartet playing,
340
00:14:48,340 --> 00:14:51,290
and then I'd pull the ring
out of my jumper.
341
00:14:54,740 --> 00:14:55,890
What?
342
00:14:55,890 --> 00:14:58,770
That sounds so great.
343
00:14:59,330 --> 00:15:01,660
Why didn't you do that?
344
00:15:02,430 --> 00:15:03,590
Because hiking was our thing.
345
00:15:03,590 --> 00:15:05,610
I thought it would be more us.
346
00:15:05,610 --> 00:15:09,310
I know,the plane and the parachute--
347
00:15:09,310 --> 00:15:12,030
it's sort of dramatic.
348
00:15:12,030 --> 00:15:14,570
It's a great story to tell people.
349
00:15:14,570 --> 00:15:16,490
And hiking is a great story,too.
350
00:15:16,490 --> 00:15:17,950
I went up at 3:00 in the morning.
351
00:15:17,950 --> 00:15:19,400
It was pretty scary.
352
00:15:19,400 --> 00:15:21,160
I saw a baby wolf.
353
00:15:21,160 --> 00:15:22,400
Yeah.
354
00:15:22,400 --> 00:15:25,510
Can we just make the parachute
thing our story from now on?
355
00:15:25,710 --> 00:15:27,010
I don't want to make that our story.
356
00:15:27,010 --> 00:15:28,280
We have a great story.
357
00:15:28,280 --> 00:15:29,930
Let's just try it
and see how people respond.
358
00:15:29,930 --> 00:15:31,640
No. I think that's weird.
359
00:15:31,640 --> 00:15:34,220
All right,this is awkward.
I got to go.
360
00:15:34,680 --> 00:15:37,040
I'll bring back your plate.
361
00:15:58,120 --> 00:15:59,360
Eddie?
362
00:16:20,400 --> 00:16:22,140
So,you found me.
363
00:16:27,450 --> 00:16:28,890
Yeah.
364
00:16:29,620 --> 00:16:31,260
What is all this?
365
00:16:31,260 --> 00:16:33,740
Well,I just wanted
366
00:16:33,740 --> 00:16:34,850
to welcome you home
367
00:16:34,850 --> 00:16:38,560
with some rose petals and candles and...
368
00:16:39,590 --> 00:16:42,100
by the way, there's nothing on
fire downstairs,is there?
369
00:16:43,950 --> 00:16:45,040
No.
370
00:16:45,040 --> 00:16:47,360
It's like a sting video.
371
00:16:52,090 --> 00:16:53,640
Anyway,I did all this.
372
00:16:53,640 --> 00:16:54,890
Wait,wait,wait.
373
00:16:54,890 --> 00:16:57,740
You stay standing and I'll--
374
00:17:05,070 --> 00:17:08,230
ignore the awkward hole in my pajamas.
375
00:17:18,420 --> 00:17:21,780
None of us needs to see
what we're seeing right now.
376
00:17:22,660 --> 00:17:24,770
I will look straight ahead.
377
00:17:25,390 --> 00:17:26,390
Good.
378
00:17:26,970 --> 00:17:30,970
Um,getting back to all this,
379
00:17:30,970 --> 00:17:35,770
uh,this ring,joy,
is a symbol of our love,
380
00:17:35,770 --> 00:17:37,930
and,uh,though
381
00:17:37,930 --> 00:17:39,510
it is beautiful, it's not nearly
382
00:17:39,510 --> 00:17:41,850
as beautiful as you.
383
00:17:43,320 --> 00:17:45,790
And if you'll have me,
384
00:17:46,100 --> 00:17:50,090
I would very much like for
you to be my wife...
385
00:17:50,090 --> 00:17:51,760
still.
386
00:17:54,530 --> 00:17:56,950
And now if you can help me get up,
387
00:17:56,950 --> 00:18:00,570
I heard a very weird click in my knee.
388
00:18:00,570 --> 00:18:01,680
There you go.
389
00:18:02,220 --> 00:18:04,050
That was very sweet, honey.
390
00:18:04,780 --> 00:18:06,650
Oh,the ring, the ring. Yeah.
391
00:18:06,690 --> 00:18:07,760
Ready?
392
00:18:11,540 --> 00:18:13,110
Come here.
393
00:18:13,460 --> 00:18:15,260
Thank you. I love it.
394
00:18:15,520 --> 00:18:17,270
Great. So,
395
00:18:17,270 --> 00:18:19,600
you happy? Huh?
396
00:18:19,600 --> 00:18:20,740
You got your diamond.
397
00:18:20,740 --> 00:18:23,350
You can go out now and flash it around
398
00:18:23,350 --> 00:18:26,860
like a fancy married lady.
399
00:18:28,890 --> 00:18:30,740
It's great.
400
00:18:34,050 --> 00:18:36,430
Oh,lord.
401
00:18:36,800 --> 00:18:37,670
Well,I'm sorry.
402
00:18:37,670 --> 00:18:39,510
That didn't come out right.
403
00:18:39,510 --> 00:18:40,940
I,uh,I--I love it.
404
00:18:40,940 --> 00:18:43,620
It's very sweet.
405
00:18:43,620 --> 00:18:45,360
What's wrong?
406
00:18:45,360 --> 00:18:47,060
I don't know.
407
00:18:48,720 --> 00:18:50,610
I mean,I know that
408
00:18:50,860 --> 00:18:52,250
you're trying so hard
409
00:18:52,250 --> 00:18:54,040
to get this right with everything and--
410
00:18:55,950 --> 00:18:58,720
it's just that the woodcocks
can have a candlelight dinner
411
00:18:58,720 --> 00:19:00,180
on a tuesday
412
00:19:00,180 --> 00:19:02,740
and it doesn't feel forced at all,
413
00:19:02,740 --> 00:19:04,490
and it's just not
414
00:19:04,490 --> 00:19:07,290
that easy for us to get
this stuff going anymorE.
415
00:19:09,260 --> 00:19:11,520
It feels kind of fake.
416
00:19:12,420 --> 00:19:14,380
Thoughts?
417
00:19:15,730 --> 00:19:18,920
Oh,well,there's a lot of stuff
flying around right now,
418
00:19:20,030 --> 00:19:22,590
um,punching, smothering,um...
419
00:19:24,520 --> 00:19:27,500
a running kick,maybe.
420
00:19:28,690 --> 00:19:30,930
I'm sorry.
421
00:19:30,930 --> 00:19:33,190
It's my fault. I thought that this ring
422
00:19:33,190 --> 00:19:34,310
would be,you know,
423
00:19:34,310 --> 00:19:35,690
like a thing for us,
424
00:19:35,690 --> 00:19:37,140
a symbol of our love.
425
00:19:37,140 --> 00:19:38,390
But...
426
00:19:39,350 --> 00:19:42,420
I guess that part of our life is just over.
427
00:19:42,420 --> 00:19:45,320
That's what I've been telling you.
428
00:19:50,330 --> 00:19:53,280
I know,and I guess you were right.
429
00:19:55,570 --> 00:19:58,020
It's so quiet.
430
00:20:06,010 --> 00:20:07,890
The toilet's not running anymore.
431
00:20:07,890 --> 00:20:09,440
Oh,yeah.
432
00:20:09,440 --> 00:20:12,220
On the way home from the mall
I stopped at the hardware store
433
00:20:12,490 --> 00:20:14,480
and picked up a flapper.
434
00:20:15,380 --> 00:20:17,710
After all this,
it only ended up costing
435
00:20:18,030 --> 00:20:21,380
a couple of dollars
to fix the whole thing.
436
00:20:22,470 --> 00:20:25,100
I can't believe you did that.
You didn't even say anything.
437
00:20:25,100 --> 00:20:27,560
Oh,I don't like to showboat.
438
00:20:31,310 --> 00:20:33,950
You fixed the toilet.
439
00:20:33,950 --> 00:20:35,690
I fixed the toilet.
440
00:20:35,690 --> 00:20:37,710
Could you say that
441
00:20:37,710 --> 00:20:39,430
in that low,deep,
442
00:20:39,430 --> 00:20:41,130
sexy voice?
443
00:20:42,530 --> 00:20:44,730
I fixed the toilet.
444
00:21:01,520 --> 00:21:02,890
and then I look up,
445
00:21:02,890 --> 00:21:04,350
and guess who's floating down
446
00:21:04,350 --> 00:21:06,710
on a parachute like an angel?
447
00:21:08,130 --> 00:21:09,950
It was me.
448
00:21:10,580 --> 00:21:13,060
And then right when he hit the ground,he--
449
00:21:14,380 --> 00:21:15,680
tell them,honey.
450
00:21:15,680 --> 00:21:18,470
I cued the string quartet with a flare gun.
451
00:21:18,690 --> 00:21:20,590
And then he reached into his jumper,
452
00:21:20,590 --> 00:21:22,760
and he pulled out this.
453
00:21:22,760 --> 00:21:25,570
Isn't that the most romantic
thing you've ever heard?
454
00:21:26,100 --> 00:21:28,120
Honey,can we go back to our table,now?
455
00:21:28,120 --> 00:21:30,390
Yeah. Great to meet you guys.
31726
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