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www.ydy.com
proudly presents
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Ok.So,here's the deal.
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My lecture on the louisiana purchase
has ironically been postponed
4
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due to my purchase
of a 2-pound breakfast burrito,
5
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which is not gonna eat itself.
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So,uh,feel free to read quietly,
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doodle,flirt with your neighbor,
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whatever you want
just don't set anything on fire.
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Oh!Bacon down,nobody move.
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Oh! My back! Aah.
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Josh.
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Reach into my breast pocket
and get my bengay.
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sync:���ֵ�����
www.ydy.com
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Til Death Season 1 Episode 7
15
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Ok,we're all done.How you doing?
16
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Well,you know,neil,
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I've heard a lot of bad stuff
about these mri tubes,
18
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but I gotta tell you,very pleasant.
19
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Some people think
it's a little claustrophobic.
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More like claustro-tastic.
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How much for another hour in this thing?
22
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So,where exactly on your back was the pain?
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Well,I could show you.
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It's right here on my--
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on my right side,is where it is.
26
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And I sometimes get
a little tingling in my leg
27
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if I read too long on the can.
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Just--just wanted you to know everything.
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So just the right side,then?
30
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-Yeah.Yeah.
-Ok.
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But,uh,you did--
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you did an mri on both sides,right?
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-Mm-hmm.
-Ok.
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'Cause when you asked
if the pain was only on the right side
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it kind of sounded like
you found something on the left side
36
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Did you find something on the left side?
37
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Oh,uh,sir,I'm just a technician.
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I'm not really allowed to interpret the film,
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but your doctor will be calling you
with the results
40
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Ok. All right.
41
00:01:49,380 --> 00:01:50,540
But I'm gonna be ok,right?
42
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sorry,I'm just not allowed to say.
It's a legal thing.
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Oh. Oh,legal?
44
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All right,look,take it easy,chief.
45
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Nobody's suing anybody here,all right?
46
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Just...just a couple of guys
hanging in the tube room,huh?
47
00:02:03,790 --> 00:02:05,300
So,how are you?
48
00:02:06,250 --> 00:02:07,400
-I'm fine.
-Good.
49
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Good.Glad to hear it.
50
00:02:08,920 --> 00:02:10,800
And how am I?
51
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Sir,it would be malpractice
if I said anything.
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Mm-hmm.All right.
Well,don't--don't say anything.
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Just give me a wink.
54
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Give me a wink if I'm ok.
55
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You know--One of those.
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Like you met me at a bar
and you liked what you saw.
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Yeah,like I said,
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you're gonna have to talk to your doctor.
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Yeah,I know like what you said.
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Ok. All righT.
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You know,I'm gonna level with you,neil.
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Ok,based on this conversation,
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I'm completely convinced that,
best case scenario,
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I'm losing half my back.
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So I'm just gonna ask you,please,
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man to man,tell me what the hell's going on.
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-Your doctor--
-I hate you,neil!
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Hate you.
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Well,it's official,I'm dying.
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You are not dying.
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All the guy said was he was not allowed
to discuss the results with you.
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That's a load of crap.
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That's the medical equivalent to
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"I'm just a cashier,
I don't have keys to the safe."
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Hey,on your way up to heaven,
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if that is where you're headed,
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please send down uncle ben's
country inn rice pilaf to see me.
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Yeah,yeah,great.Laugh it up.
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00:03:17,410 --> 00:03:18,870
But you're not gonna be laughing
when I'm gone
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and you're having this conversation
with a ladder.
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00:03:27,320 --> 00:03:28,260
Eddie,you're fine.
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00:03:28,330 --> 00:03:31,760
You are totally overreacting to this
like you always do.
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You don't know me.
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00:03:34,350 --> 00:03:36,510
The point is,it is all in your head.
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Hey,you weren't in that tube room.
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You didn't see the look in that guys' eyes.
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He looked at me the same way
we used to look at nana.
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Eddie,you're a very healthy person.
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00:03:46,440 --> 00:03:48,580
I mean,look at all the new places
you've sprouted hair.
90
00:03:48,650 --> 00:03:50,270
That's got to be a good sign.
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00:03:54,880 --> 00:03:55,810
Where you going?
92
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I'm going to get the mail.
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If you live long enough to see water boil,
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dump in the rice.
95
00:04:04,650 --> 00:04:06,110
Oh,great.I got a week to live
96
00:04:06,180 --> 00:04:08,340
and you got to go get your in touch magazine.
97
00:04:08,600 --> 00:04:12,200
Ah,now you can sleep easy knowing
that britney bought a car seat.
98
00:04:13,110 --> 00:04:14,550
Hey,you two.
99
00:04:14,620 --> 00:04:16,720
All right,head's up,
here come the wonder twins.
100
00:04:16,780 --> 00:04:17,930
Hey,guys.
101
00:04:17,980 --> 00:04:19,670
Hey.Hey,how was your appointment?
102
00:04:19,710 --> 00:04:20,840
Well,you want the nice,
103
00:04:20,910 --> 00:04:24,110
pretty answer that's gonna leave you
feeling all safe and warm inside,
104
00:04:24,180 --> 00:04:26,130
or you wanna know the truth?
105
00:04:26,200 --> 00:04:29,370
-I just kind of wanted to know--
-my body is a ticking time bomb.
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You kids are smart to run.
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If only I had run.
108
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Maybe then I--
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wouldn't have a mysterious fictional
disease eating you up inside?
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Denial.
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00:04:39,440 --> 00:04:41,210
Interesting way to play it.
112
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Hey,you ok over there?
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I'm sorry.
114
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This is just like mr. Pajamas.
115
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-Mr. Pajamas?
-Steph's childhood cat.
116
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He passed away a few months ago
117
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and it's still pretty fresh.
118
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He was only 21.
119
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I know I seem a little crazy,
120
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but he was a really great cat.
121
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Wasn't he,sweetie?
122
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Oh,yeah.He was pretty great.
123
00:05:05,220 --> 00:05:07,020
Yeah.Pretty great.
124
00:05:07,730 --> 00:05:10,150
I might have missed his prime,though,
125
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'cause he was completely deaf
and blind when I met him.
126
00:05:14,270 --> 00:05:17,440
But he still managed to
bite me pretty hard a few times.
127
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Mostly when I was changing his diapers.
128
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But hey,what a spirit,huh?
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He'll be missed.
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Listen to me,eddie.
131
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We never gave up on mr. Pajamas.
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We flew to canada to see a specialist,
133
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and thanks to aggressive gene therapy,
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he got to see one more christmas.
135
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Well,not see,but smell.Ha ha!
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My point is,
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hang in there,big man.
138
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Honest human emotion.
139
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How refreshing.
140
00:06:02,420 --> 00:06:03,810
I don't want to concern you,
141
00:06:03,890 --> 00:06:07,640
but I just found a hair that
could not have come from either one of us
142
00:06:10,860 --> 00:06:13,820
Wh-wh-wa-wa-wait,wait.I know that move.
143
00:06:13,890 --> 00:06:16,560
What,are you on one of those adult websites?
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-Huh?
-What? No.
145
00:06:18,850 --> 00:06:20,200
Come on,let me see.
146
00:06:20,280 --> 00:06:21,980
I'm very liberal.
147
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Come on. Ahh.Let me see.
148
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Didn't clear your history.Rookie mistake.
149
00:06:28,840 --> 00:06:30,410
Eddie,don'T.
150
00:06:33,400 --> 00:06:36,840
you...you googled back plus cancer?
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00:06:38,170 --> 00:06:39,910
Did I?Let me see that.
152
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What's to see?You did it.
153
00:06:42,230 --> 00:06:43,210
Well,I don't think I did.
154
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No,you--you did.
155
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You think I have cancer?
156
00:06:46,900 --> 00:06:48,810
No. No,I don't think that you have cancer.
157
00:06:49,030 --> 00:06:52,760
I just think that you...
might have...back cancer.
158
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Oh,my god!
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I--but you--you--you--you--
you said I was fine.
160
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Well,you're probably fine.
161
00:07:00,360 --> 00:07:01,660
-Probably?
-Definitely.
162
00:07:01,720 --> 00:07:02,680
You're definitely fine.
163
00:07:02,740 --> 00:07:04,310
No,no,no.You said probably.
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Google probably.
165
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Definitely doesn't come up.
166
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I'm sorry.
167
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As much as I joke about
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what I would do if you went first,
169
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I don't want you to go first.
170
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Well,I don't want me to go first,either.
171
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Or you.
172
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I love you.
173
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I love you.
174
00:07:26,920 --> 00:07:28,480
I don't ever want to lose you.
175
00:07:28,740 --> 00:07:31,860
Well,I don't want to be lost.
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How long you been watching me?
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Just a few minutes.
178
00:07:49,180 --> 00:07:51,020
You do this every morning?
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00:07:57,690 --> 00:07:58,780
Well...
180
00:07:59,460 --> 00:08:01,320
I guess I should get to school.
181
00:08:02,580 --> 00:08:04,070
It's tater tot day.
182
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Could be my last.
183
00:08:12,160 --> 00:08:14,120
Why don't you skip homeroom today?
184
00:08:14,380 --> 00:08:15,600
Skip homeroom?
185
00:08:16,430 --> 00:08:18,080
But I'll miss the pledge.
186
00:08:18,510 --> 00:08:22,810
I think I might have a better idea of
how we can celebrate this great nation
187
00:08:23,430 --> 00:08:25,260
Ooh,I like where your head is at.
188
00:08:26,890 --> 00:08:29,340
-Just let me pee first.
-Ok.I know the drill.
189
00:08:38,030 --> 00:08:39,100
Hello?
190
00:08:40,030 --> 00:08:41,770
Oh,dr. Wolfsburg,hi.
191
00:08:43,730 --> 00:08:46,090
Oh,god.That's great news.
192
00:08:46,150 --> 00:08:49,530
Ok,terrific.So it's just an inflamed disk?
193
00:08:50,170 --> 00:08:51,520
Uh-huh.
194
00:08:51,780 --> 00:08:55,360
All right,so ice it,then heat it.
195
00:08:55,780 --> 00:08:58,290
Ok,'cause that seems like a wash.
196
00:08:59,660 --> 00:09:01,500
I--I know you're busy.
197
00:09:02,860 --> 00:09:05,990
Ok. Ok. Yes.This is fantastic.
198
00:09:06,360 --> 00:09:07,430
Thank you.
199
00:09:07,510 --> 00:09:10,510
'Kay.Love you.
200
00:09:11,150 --> 00:09:12,470
Joy!
201
00:09:14,490 --> 00:09:16,740
What do you say
we move this party into the shower?
202
00:09:17,620 --> 00:09:19,010
I just...
203
00:09:20,170 --> 00:09:21,680
shower?
204
00:09:22,540 --> 00:09:24,170
It's not my birthday.
205
00:09:25,330 --> 00:09:26,600
I know,but I just thought that,
206
00:09:26,660 --> 00:09:28,910
you know,
with everything that you're going through
207
00:09:29,120 --> 00:09:30,690
you should get everything that you want.
208
00:09:32,160 --> 00:09:33,490
I should.
209
00:09:34,670 --> 00:09:35,860
Who was onhe phone?
210
00:09:36,880 --> 00:09:40,380
Oh,it was a group trying to raise money to...
211
00:09:42,130 --> 00:09:46,210
send blind bald eagles back into the wild.
212
00:09:48,820 --> 00:09:50,490
That--that's not gonna work.
213
00:09:53,320 --> 00:09:55,700
Let's get to that shower.
214
00:09:59,990 --> 00:10:01,430
Ok,we're just gonna give them the food,
215
00:10:01,500 --> 00:10:04,170
but don't bring up mr. Pajamas,ok?
216
00:10:04,230 --> 00:10:05,280
Why not?
217
00:10:05,350 --> 00:10:07,000
Eddie is a human being who's sick,
218
00:10:07,060 --> 00:10:09,700
and he might find it a little insulting
219
00:10:09,750 --> 00:10:14,190
if you keep comparing him to a stray animal
that you found sleeping in a tire.
220
00:10:17,670 --> 00:10:18,960
Woodcocks.
221
00:10:19,020 --> 00:10:20,140
What are you doing here so early?
222
00:10:20,200 --> 00:10:22,170
I'm still in my pajamas.
223
00:10:22,230 --> 00:10:24,130
Pajamas.
224
00:10:24,960 --> 00:10:26,600
Keep it together,honey.
225
00:10:27,710 --> 00:10:30,120
Please enjoy these stuffed shells.
226
00:10:35,500 --> 00:10:36,480
Come in.
227
00:10:38,790 --> 00:10:40,630
Hey,I'm sorry about steph.
228
00:10:40,700 --> 00:10:43,530
I know that's the last thing
you need right now.
229
00:10:43,600 --> 00:10:45,140
Ah,not a problem.
230
00:10:45,190 --> 00:10:46,120
Joy's already gone.
231
00:10:46,190 --> 00:10:49,050
If I hit these shells hard,
she'll never know they existed.
232
00:10:50,560 --> 00:10:52,690
It's great to see you stay positive,eddie.
233
00:10:53,020 --> 00:10:54,840
Because as much as
traditional medicine will help
234
00:10:54,910 --> 00:10:58,760
it means nothing unless you
make the decision from within to beat this
235
00:10:58,800 --> 00:11:00,320
-I'm not dying.
-Exactly.
236
00:11:00,390 --> 00:11:01,980
I mean,I don't have a disease.
237
00:11:02,030 --> 00:11:03,500
You tell 'em,eddie.
238
00:11:03,550 --> 00:11:05,460
You hear that? Huh?
239
00:11:06,720 --> 00:11:07,560
Ok,hey,hey.
240
00:11:07,630 --> 00:11:09,410
Eyes--eyes up here,woodcock.
241
00:11:09,470 --> 00:11:10,970
The doctor called this morning,
242
00:11:11,030 --> 00:11:12,550
and he said that I'm gonna be fine.
243
00:11:12,760 --> 00:11:14,650
That's great!
244
00:11:14,820 --> 00:11:16,100
Wow,you gotta be thrilled,huh?
245
00:11:16,150 --> 00:11:18,320
Oh,yeah.Feels like I won the lottery.
246
00:11:18,390 --> 00:11:19,900
Joy's gotta be relieved.
247
00:11:19,950 --> 00:11:21,400
Yeah. Yeah.She will be.
248
00:11:21,450 --> 00:11:23,080
She will be.
249
00:11:24,370 --> 00:11:26,090
-You haven't told her yet?
-No.
250
00:11:26,550 --> 00:11:28,440
No.
251
00:11:29,450 --> 00:11:31,230
I mean,I will.
252
00:11:31,280 --> 00:11:32,690
Look,I'm--she's my wife.
253
00:11:32,750 --> 00:11:34,100
I'm gonna tell her,but,um...
254
00:11:34,700 --> 00:11:36,710
eddie,why haven't you told her?
255
00:11:37,050 --> 00:11:38,690
All right,look.Here's the thing.
256
00:11:39,200 --> 00:11:40,890
Ever since I've been dying,
257
00:11:41,110 --> 00:11:44,810
the activities in the bedroom
have been crazy freaky.
258
00:11:48,000 --> 00:11:51,590
You're having better sex
because joy thinks you're dying?
259
00:11:52,110 --> 00:11:54,610
I have stepped into somethi great here.
260
00:11:56,620 --> 00:11:58,900
Now that she thinks that
the circus is leaving town,
261
00:11:58,970 --> 00:12:00,550
she can't stay out of the big top.
262
00:12:03,530 --> 00:12:06,770
Well...isn't that great?
263
00:12:06,830 --> 00:12:08,810
Bravo to you.
264
00:12:09,610 --> 00:12:12,320
Aren't you just the big winner here?
265
00:12:13,140 --> 00:12:15,440
All right,what's up your skirt,woodcock?
266
00:12:15,510 --> 00:12:17,970
Why are you begrudging me
in my sexual renaissance?
267
00:12:18,660 --> 00:12:20,060
I'm gonna tell you why,eddie.
268
00:12:20,160 --> 00:12:22,120
Because despite his adorable name,
269
00:12:22,210 --> 00:12:26,690
mr. Pajamas was the meanest
son-of-a-bitch cat in all of history.
270
00:12:27,270 --> 00:12:28,590
He finally dies,
271
00:12:28,660 --> 00:12:31,550
and we have a greek orthodox funeral for him.
272
00:12:31,650 --> 00:12:34,640
And then 2 months of mourning with no sex,
273
00:12:34,710 --> 00:12:37,230
because how could I think about
that with mr. P gone?
274
00:12:37,290 --> 00:12:40,210
And then finally,
finally the memory starts to fade
275
00:12:40,250 --> 00:12:41,290
I'm gonna get my wife back.
276
00:12:41,350 --> 00:12:43,220
Until boom,you're dying,
277
00:12:43,280 --> 00:12:45,450
and then I'm spending my nights
watching a video
278
00:12:45,500 --> 00:12:48,080
that she likes to
call mr. Pajamas' greatest hits
279
00:12:48,140 --> 00:12:51,420
which is basically 5 hours
of a cat chasing a laser pointer
280
00:12:51,490 --> 00:12:52,940
So you can understand why the fact
281
00:12:53,000 --> 00:12:57,690
that you made the whole thing up makes me
want to rip the heart right out of your body!
282
00:13:05,590 --> 00:13:07,460
I'll be waiting in the car.
283
00:13:14,410 --> 00:13:16,050
I'm home,dear.
284
00:13:16,090 --> 00:13:17,500
In here.
285
00:13:18,800 --> 00:13:21,410
I got some new shower gel.
286
00:13:23,940 --> 00:13:26,340
Be prepared to smell like...
287
00:13:26,680 --> 00:13:30,250
"lemon zest.Now with grease cutter?"
288
00:13:30,420 --> 00:13:33,780
Aw,crap.I bought dishwashing liquid.
289
00:13:34,620 --> 00:13:35,970
That's ok,sweetie.
290
00:13:36,030 --> 00:13:38,600
I thought that we would have a nice dinner
291
00:13:38,690 --> 00:13:40,990
and,you know,look at these old photo albums
292
00:13:41,060 --> 00:13:42,930
and just hang out and talk.
293
00:13:43,850 --> 00:13:45,270
Talk?
294
00:13:45,770 --> 00:13:49,830
Wh...but...but I got this fancy dish soap.
295
00:13:50,850 --> 00:13:53,410
Come here.Sit down.
296
00:13:54,210 --> 00:13:55,790
Look at this one.
297
00:13:56,600 --> 00:13:58,040
Remember,just after allison was born,
298
00:13:58,110 --> 00:13:59,490
we took her to the bucks county fair?
299
00:13:59,540 --> 00:14:02,440
Yep. I'm holding a bratwurst,a big pickle,
300
00:14:02,520 --> 00:14:04,110
and my baby girl.
301
00:14:05,380 --> 00:14:07,580
What,were your arms broken?
You're not even helping.
302
00:14:08,580 --> 00:14:10,370
I'm right there,holding my bucket of beer.
303
00:14:12,070 --> 00:14:13,470
Check that out.
304
00:14:13,520 --> 00:14:15,260
What--what,are we holding hands?
305
00:14:15,920 --> 00:14:17,280
Yeah.
306
00:14:17,550 --> 00:14:19,470
-That's weird.
-Hmm.
307
00:14:29,560 --> 00:14:30,700
All right,so let me get this straight.
308
00:14:30,770 --> 00:14:32,530
You didn't even have sex?
309
00:14:32,920 --> 00:14:34,400
I thought that was the whole point.
310
00:14:34,570 --> 00:14:36,190
Last night we didn't even have to.
311
00:14:36,270 --> 00:14:38,500
We started connecting
on a whole different level.
312
00:14:38,580 --> 00:14:41,060
We were actually talking.
313
00:14:41,470 --> 00:14:42,930
I don't know how often you've spoken to joy,
314
00:14:42,980 --> 00:14:44,520
but she is fascinating.
315
00:14:45,670 --> 00:14:47,100
And it turns out,
316
00:14:47,220 --> 00:14:50,340
being faced with your own mortality
isn't just good for sex,
317
00:14:50,420 --> 00:14:52,180
but it makes everything better.
318
00:14:54,770 --> 00:14:57,270
You're not actually dying!
319
00:14:58,040 --> 00:14:59,500
You have a slipped disk.
320
00:14:59,600 --> 00:15:01,880
Your doctor prescribed tylenol
and a heating pad.
321
00:15:02,110 --> 00:15:05,380
But I never felt so alive
since I've been fake dying.
322
00:15:05,440 --> 00:15:06,770
And it's just not with joy.
323
00:15:06,850 --> 00:15:08,900
I'm appreciating life more.
324
00:15:09,480 --> 00:15:13,730
This morning I spent an entire hour
savoring an english muffin.
325
00:15:13,790 --> 00:15:16,440
I don't know what's better,
the nooks or the crannies.
326
00:15:17,270 --> 00:15:18,690
And when I went to get my paper,
327
00:15:18,750 --> 00:15:21,050
I saw a little bunny rabbit on my lawn.
328
00:15:21,110 --> 00:15:23,650
He was just sitting there,
not doing anything in particular,
329
00:15:23,720 --> 00:15:25,460
just enjoying the day.
330
00:15:25,810 --> 00:15:28,430
I learned a lot from that bunny.
331
00:15:31,720 --> 00:15:33,190
Today,ladies and gentlemen,
332
00:15:33,640 --> 00:15:36,480
we're not just gonna learn about history,
333
00:15:36,900 --> 00:15:38,700
we're going to live it!
334
00:15:39,510 --> 00:15:40,820
And in order to do that,
335
00:15:40,900 --> 00:15:42,870
I need a lewis
336
00:15:43,280 --> 00:15:45,210
and a clark
337
00:15:45,430 --> 00:15:47,950
and a sacagawea!
338
00:15:56,960 --> 00:15:58,350
More sangria?
339
00:15:58,430 --> 00:16:00,140
Si,por favor.
340
00:16:01,560 --> 00:16:04,730
Oh,do you remember
the last time we laid out like this
341
00:16:04,780 --> 00:16:07,640
just sitting,staring up at the stars?
342
00:16:07,700 --> 00:16:09,500
Cape cod.
343
00:16:09,730 --> 00:16:10,950
We rented that beach house
344
00:16:11,190 --> 00:16:13,620
and ate clam chowder 3 times a day.
345
00:16:13,870 --> 00:16:16,130
Hey,that's when we found out
that I was allergic to shellfish
346
00:16:16,200 --> 00:16:18,680
and my neck blew up like a giant balloon.
347
00:16:20,980 --> 00:16:22,570
I wanna go back there.
348
00:16:23,350 --> 00:16:24,970
Put that on the to-do list.
349
00:16:25,370 --> 00:16:26,780
Ok.
350
00:16:27,230 --> 00:16:28,250
Go back to the cape.
351
00:16:28,320 --> 00:16:30,080
All right. So,what do we got so far?
352
00:16:30,430 --> 00:16:32,670
Well,we have the cape.
353
00:16:33,720 --> 00:16:34,900
"Climb kaytu,"
354
00:16:35,160 --> 00:16:38,160
"do one of those karate moves
where you break a board with your head,"
355
00:16:38,910 --> 00:16:41,360
"and swim in the nude."
356
00:16:41,650 --> 00:16:42,910
Not with other guys.
357
00:16:44,130 --> 00:16:45,530
You know,
358
00:16:45,630 --> 00:16:48,960
these last 2 days have been so hard,
359
00:16:49,010 --> 00:16:51,570
but in sort of a weird way,
360
00:16:51,640 --> 00:16:53,750
-they've been kind of great.
-Yeah.
361
00:16:55,260 --> 00:16:58,290
We should really call allison up at school
and let her know what's going on.
362
00:16:58,340 --> 00:17:00,290
What do you mean?What's going on?
363
00:17:01,800 --> 00:17:03,670
With you.
364
00:17:03,790 --> 00:17:05,920
Oh!Uh,yeah.
365
00:17:05,990 --> 00:17:08,240
Um,you know what,
366
00:17:08,310 --> 00:17:12,510
college is supposed to be
the most exciting time of her life
367
00:17:12,590 --> 00:17:14,660
and she's probably drunk as hell right now,
368
00:17:14,720 --> 00:17:17,520
and,you know,i don't want to call her
and kill the buzz.
369
00:17:17,720 --> 00:17:19,190
I really think we should call her tomorrow.
370
00:17:19,240 --> 00:17:21,220
Yeah.You know,I-I-I don't know.
371
00:17:21,290 --> 00:17:23,840
I-I just don't--I-I don't think we should
372
00:17:23,910 --> 00:17:27,240
because I may not be sick.
373
00:17:28,380 --> 00:17:30,360
I'm not sick.
374
00:17:31,730 --> 00:17:33,370
What's that?
375
00:17:33,440 --> 00:17:35,160
Yep,the doctor called yesterday,
376
00:17:35,220 --> 00:17:37,610
and it's just an inflamed disk.
377
00:17:38,400 --> 00:17:40,430
Whoa,is that a load off,huh?
378
00:17:40,490 --> 00:17:41,600
Freshen up your drink,darling?
379
00:17:41,660 --> 00:17:44,680
Yesterday?The doctor called yesterday?
380
00:17:44,970 --> 00:17:48,560
Yeah.Yeah.Right before our shower.
381
00:17:49,770 --> 00:17:51,650
You let me think that you were dying
382
00:17:51,710 --> 00:17:54,490
so we could party
with a detachable shower head?
383
00:17:54,570 --> 00:17:55,890
Yeah.Well,it just wasn't that,
384
00:17:55,940 --> 00:17:57,960
but I do have to admit,
when you put that thing on pulse,
385
00:17:58,020 --> 00:18:00,430
boy,it took me right back to the seventies.
386
00:18:00,510 --> 00:18:01,550
-Eddie!-Ok! Hey,listen,
387
00:18:01,590 --> 00:18:04,200
but it became so much more than sex.
388
00:18:04,230 --> 00:18:06,710
And what's happening right here
is so much deeper.
389
00:18:06,770 --> 00:18:08,020
And here's the best part,
390
00:18:08,090 --> 00:18:12,010
we don't have to think
I'm dying to have all of this.
391
00:18:12,310 --> 00:18:13,840
It's like the dumbo story.
392
00:18:13,890 --> 00:18:16,640
Remember,dumbo thought that
he needed that feather to fly,
393
00:18:16,720 --> 00:18:21,050
but it turned out that
he could fly without the feather.
394
00:18:21,140 --> 00:18:23,370
See,that's you and me.
395
00:18:23,540 --> 00:18:25,700
We're dumbo.
396
00:18:28,830 --> 00:18:31,500
You're looking at me like
you've never seen dumbo.
397
00:18:33,180 --> 00:18:36,940
You're actuay sitting there
talking about a flying elephant?
398
00:18:37,150 --> 00:18:38,560
You lied to me.
399
00:18:38,650 --> 00:18:41,080
You told me
you were dying of a terminal illness
400
00:18:41,630 --> 00:18:43,200
All right,look.
401
00:18:43,260 --> 00:18:45,390
You know,since we're pointing fingers here,
402
00:18:45,470 --> 00:18:48,390
I'm a little offended that
you're not happier that I'm ok.
403
00:18:48,610 --> 00:18:49,880
I mean,I made it.
404
00:18:49,950 --> 00:18:51,090
I beat this thing.
405
00:18:51,160 --> 00:18:52,560
I'm gonna live.
406
00:18:53,120 --> 00:18:54,590
Not necessarily.
407
00:18:54,640 --> 00:18:56,240
But...all right,look.
408
00:18:56,320 --> 00:18:57,610
Joy,let me...
409
00:18:57,890 --> 00:18:59,850
let me put this differently.
410
00:19:00,700 --> 00:19:02,640
Have you seen pinocchio?
411
00:19:02,700 --> 00:19:05,560
Do you know what I have been doing
for the past 2 days?Do you?
412
00:19:05,630 --> 00:19:08,770
I have been blaming myself for everything,
413
00:19:08,800 --> 00:19:11,360
from forcing us to buy a house
too close to power lines
414
00:19:11,410 --> 00:19:14,890
to letting you eat that
crusty black stuff off the grill.
415
00:19:15,260 --> 00:19:19,440
Is our life so bad together that you had to
pretend you were dying to make it better?
416
00:19:19,500 --> 00:19:20,960
It's not that it's so bad.
417
00:19:20,990 --> 00:19:22,540
I just thought I could spice it up.
418
00:19:22,590 --> 00:19:25,470
You know,like
how people wear wigs or role-play
419
00:19:25,520 --> 00:19:27,800
Like,"Oh,my,colonel beauregard.
420
00:19:27,860 --> 00:19:29,620
"It's so hot out on the veranda.
421
00:19:29,680 --> 00:19:32,940
I have some sweet tea up in my boudoir."
422
00:19:33,480 --> 00:19:35,220
Like that.
423
00:19:35,290 --> 00:19:36,610
I don't know what's worse,
424
00:19:36,680 --> 00:19:38,880
the fact that you're a lying freak
425
00:19:38,940 --> 00:19:42,850
or that you think any part of
what you just said just now was sexy
426
00:19:43,140 --> 00:19:45,210
I can't believe I fell for this.
427
00:19:45,270 --> 00:19:48,430
I watched ultimate fighting with you.
428
00:19:48,530 --> 00:19:50,700
I massaged your feet.I...
429
00:19:51,690 --> 00:19:53,420
I touched your feet.
430
00:19:54,090 --> 00:19:55,430
Well,you know,say what you want,
431
00:19:55,490 --> 00:19:57,380
and even though this may
have come from the wrong place
432
00:19:57,450 --> 00:20:01,680
you have to admit that the last couple
of days have been pretty magical.
433
00:20:01,740 --> 00:20:04,860
Yeah? How do you think
the next couple of days are gonna be,huh?
434
00:20:04,910 --> 00:20:06,620
Unmagical?
435
00:20:06,970 --> 00:20:08,980
Oh,you have no idea!
436
00:20:09,050 --> 00:20:10,610
Yeah,well,you know what,
you don't scare me,lady,
437
00:20:10,670 --> 00:20:14,890
because I stared death
right in the face and I won!
438
00:20:16,130 --> 00:20:18,360
I'm so very sorry.
439
00:20:39,380 --> 00:20:41,010
joy told you I was going to live?
440
00:20:41,070 --> 00:20:45,000
Yes,and liars don't get my shells.
441
00:20:49,040 --> 00:20:51,170
Well,nobody liked mr. Bojangles but you.
442
00:20:52,320 --> 00:20:53,940
It's pajamas.
443
00:20:53,990 --> 00:20:57,380
And there were 48 people at his funeral.
31983
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