All language subtitles for Gossip.Girl.S06E07.WEBRip.x264-ION10

GOSSIP GIRL HERE--
YOUR ONE AND ONLY SOURCE

INTO THE SCANDALOUS LIVES
OF MANHATTAN'S ELITE.

YOU ARE RUNNING MY BUSINESS

LIKE YOU'RE STILL
THE MEANEST GIRL IN HIGH SCHOOL.

I NEED TO USE MY POWER TO FORM
THE FASHIONISTAS OF THE FUTURE,

WITH A LINE
FOR HIGH SCHOOL GIRLS

INSPIRED BY
MY CONSTANCE UNIFORM.

I'M SORRY I DIDN'T SAY ANYTHING
WHEN YOU TOLD ME YOU LOVED ME.

(Serena) ALL I WANTED
WAS A FRESH START.

THAT'S WHAT I WANT.

WELL, WE HAD TO COME
TO SOME KIND OF AGREEMENT,

OR WE NEVER WOULD'VE LEFT
THAT HOTEL ROOM IN MONTE CARLO.

IT WON'T BE MUCH LONGER,
I PROMISE.

WE'RE HAPPY TO EXTEND

"THE SPECTATOR'S"
LINE OF CREDIT.

ARE YOU SURE WANNA COSIGN
ON THIS LOAN?

SEND ME THE DOCUMENTS
TO SIGN IN THE MORNING.

WHEN IVY WAS IN THE APARTMENT,
SHE SAID BART WALKED IN

WITH AN ENVELOPE HE HELD ON TO
RATHER TIGHTLY.

(Chuck)
Is there anything missing?

THAT PAINTING OF
THE RAINBOW WOMAN IS GONE.

IN THAT FILM,
THE HEAD OF THE DRUG CARTEL

STORED HIS ILLEGAL ACCOUNT
INFORMATION

IN THE BACK OF A PAINTING.

(amplified voice)
SOLD FOR $1.1 MILLION.

THAT PIECE
IS A CRITICAL COMPONENT

OF MY CAMPAIGN AGAINST BART.

IF I TOPPLE HIM,
LILY WON'T BE FAR BEHIND.

(Ivy) I'LL SELL YOU
THE PAINTING.

WHERE THE HELL
IS THAT ENVELOPE?

SOMEONE TOOK IT OFF.

THEN THEY'VE GOT THE EVIDENCE!

AND WHO AM I?

THAT'S A SECRET
I'LL NEVER TELL.

YOU KNOW YOU LOVE ME.

X.O.X.O., GOSSIP GIRL.

-- Captions by VITA --

(barking)

(barking continues)

(Gossip Girl) DESPERATE TIMES
CALL FOR DESPERATE MEASURES.

(growling)

AND EVEN
THE MOST DISCIPLINED PEOPLE

CAN RESORT TO DESTRUCTION...

(elevator bell dings,
doors open)

(footsteps approach)

(barking continues)

FUNNY, I DIDN'T ASK
FOR TURNDOWN SERVICE.

BUT DID YOU FIND
WHAT YOU'RE LOOKING FOR?

(Fire in the Hamptons'
"Humanimal" playing)

WHILE OTHERS
TRY TO REBUILD BRIDGES

USING MORE INTIMATE TACTICS.

(Dan and Serena laugh)

WOW, THIS IS AMAZING.

REALLY. AND I'M NOT JUST
TALKING ABOUT THIS ESPRESSO.

(chuckles) I WISH WE COULD
JUST STAY LIKE THIS FOREVER.

ME, TOO.

THE ONLY THING MISSING
IS FRESH AIR.

ARE YOU--DO YOU THINK MAYBE
TODAY THAT WE COULD, UH...

ACTUALLY GO OUTSIDE?

COME ON. YOU KNOW THAT WE CAN'T
BE SEEN TOGETHER IN PUBLIC

UNTIL WE'RE SURE THAT
THIS IS ABSOLUTELY REAL.

WELL, I DON'T KNOW ABOUT YOU,
BUT I'M PRETTY SURE.

I CAN'T THINK OF ANY REASON
TO HOLD BACK.

WELL, HERE'S A BIG ONE.

ALL OF OUR FRIENDS
ARE FURIOUS AT US.

IF WE WANNA BE A COUPLE
IN THE REAL WORLD,

WE NEED TO GO OUT
AND MAKE AMENDS.

OKAY, WHERE DO WE START?

I'LL START WITH BLAIR,
AND YOU START WITH NATE.

AND THEN AFTERWARDS, BRUNCH
AND A MOVIE ON ME. I PROMISE.

**

(chuckles) OKAY.

* I'M NOT HUMAN

YEAH, MY, UH, SUITE
NEEDS TIDYING.

COULD YOU PLEASE SEND
THE MAID SERVICE?

ON SECOND THOUGHT,
SEND ALL THE MAIDS YOU HAVE.

(cell phone beeps)

WHERE IS IT? IN THE SAFE?

I SEE YOU CHANGED
THE COMBINATION.

WHAT COULD POSSIBLY BE SO
IMPORTANT THAT YOU MISPLACED IT?

YOUR VIAGRA?

CUT THE CRAP, CHUCK.

THERE'S THE RICHARD PHILLIPS.
IT USED TO HAVE A BACKING.

I KNOW YOU HAVE IT.

YOU MEAN THE PAPERS
THAT HOLD THE PROOF

TO YOUR ILLEGAL
OIL ACTIVITIES?

PAPERS?

YOU DON'T HAVE IT.

YOU DON'T EVEN KNOW
WHAT YOU'RE LOOKING FOR.

(elevator bell dings,
doors open)

OH, SORRY TO INTERRUPT
THIS RIVETING OEDIPAL SHOWDOWN,

BUT I THINK I HAVE
WHAT YOU'RE LOOKING FOR.

MR. BOYER! MR. BOYER!

COULD I SPEAK WITH YOU,
PLEASE?

OH, UH... (chuckles)

THIS IS COMPLETELY
INAPPROPRIATE, MR. ARCHIBALD.

I'M ON PERSONAL TIME.

I APOLOGIZE
FOR THE INTRUSION,

BUT YOU WON'T RETURN
ANY OF MY PHONE CALLS.

ALL RIGHT, I'LL BE BRIEF,
I PROMISE.

LOOK, YOUR CREDIT LINE
WAS DUE LAST WEEK.

NOW IF YOU CAN'T COME UP
WITH THE FUNDS,

I DON'T SEE
HOW I CAN ASSIST YOU.

MR. BOYER, THIS PAPER MEANS
EVERYTHING TO ME.

I'VE PUT ALL MY PERSONAL ASSETS
INTO IT, ALL RIGHT?

YOU KNOW HOW PEOPLE ALWAYS
TELL YOU TO BET ON YOURSELF?

WELL, THAT'S WHAT I DID,
AND I JUST--

I NEED SOMEONE ELSE
TO BET ON ME, TOO.

LOOK, I RESPECT YOUR PASSION,
BUT I'M AFRAID IN THIS ECONOMY,

PEOPLE AREN'T WILLING
TO TAKE A BET.

"THE SPECTATOR" IS NOT A RISK.
IT WON'T FAIL BECAUSE IT CAN'T.

IT'S EVERYTHING I'VE GOT,
MR. BOYER.

NOW IF YOU COULD JUST GET ME
A LITTLE MORE TIME...

NO PROMISES,

BUT I'LL TALK TO THE LENDER.

OH! THANK YOU. THANK YOU.

I PROMISE
YOU WON'T REGRET IT.

YEAH.

(exhales)

(whispers) YES.

JUST THINK, DOROTA.

I STARTED OFF
DRESSING THE MINIONS,

AND NOW I'LL BE DRESSING
THE MASSES.

MISS BLAIR
HAS COME LONG WAY.

ALL GROWN UP WITH HER--HER OWN
BARNEYS CO-OP POP-UP SHOP.

NOW THE GIFT BAGS
MUST BE PERFECT.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

BLAIR, I KNOW THAT I'VE DONE
SOME HORRIBLE THINGS,

BUT I AM SO SORRY,
AND I'VE COME TO MAKE AMENDS.

AMENDS WOULD IMPLY THAT THERE'S
SOMETHING TO BE MENDED.

WHAT YOU DID
CAN NEVER BE FIXED.

YOU'VE SWORN THAT OUR FRIENDSHIP
IS BEYOND REPAIR IN THE PAST,

BUT WE'VE ALWAYS
GOTTEN THROUGH IT.

WELL, THIS TIME IS DIFFERENT.

YOU SEDUCED DAN ON THE BAR
AT THE CAMPBELL APARTMENT--

THE VERY SAME SPOT YOU
DEFLOWERED MY FIRST BOYFRIEND.

I WOULD NEVER BE THAT CRUEL
TO YOU... ON PURPOSE.

I WON'T ACCEPT LOSING YOU.

SO... I'M JUST GONNA SIT HERE
UNTIL YOU USE HOW SORRY I AM

AND HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU.

SUIT YOURSELF.

SIT THERE, QUIETLY,
LIKE A MANNEQUIN.

THAT'S WHAT YOU'RE BEST AT
ANYWAY.

AND WHAT ARE YOU BEST AT,
BLAIR?

YOUR NEW JUNIOR LINE?

AND WHAT MAKES YOU THINK
THE KATNISS EVERDEEN GENERATION

IS GOING TO CARE ABOUT
BLAIR WALDORF'S PLEATED SKIRTS?

YOU'RE NOT
A TEENAGER ANYMORE.

SO? DESIGNERS DON'T HAVE TO
BE TEENAGERS

IN ORDER TO INFLUENCE THEM.
IN--IN FACT, NO ONE--

IS TALKING TO YOU!

JUST BE QUIET.

THE WORLD ALREADY HAS
STELLA AND PHOEBE

AND THE MULLEAVY SISTERS

BLAIR'S TOO OLD
TO BE THE QUEEN BEE

AND NOT ESTABLISHED ENOUGH
TO BE A FASHION STAR.

SHE'S STUCK IN THE MIDDLE.

AND WHAT COULD BE LESS COOL
THAN BEING A TWEEN?

WELL, I GUESS
WE'LL HAVE TO SEE TONIGHT.

I COULD TELL BY THE FRENZY
AT THE AUCTION

THERE HAD TO BE MORE AT STAKE
THAN JUST ART.

AND THEN I FOUND THE MICROFILM
IN THE PAINTING.

I DON'T KNOW
WHAT THOSE NUMBERS MEAN,

BUT THEY OBVIOUSLY
MEAN A LOT TO YOU.

NAME YOUR PRICE.

WHATEVER HE SAYS,
I'LL DOUBLE IT.

I DON'T WANT MONEY.

WHAT DO YOU WANT, THEN?

LILY.

LAST YEAR, LILY DID
EVERYTHING IN HER POWER

TO HURT ME AND LEAVE ME
WITH NOTHING.

NO FRIENDS, NO FAMILY, NO HOME.

I WANT LILY TO KNOW
HOW THAT FEELS.

THAT'S MY PRICE.

SURELY THERE MUST BE
SOMETHING ELSE.

ALL I WANT IS FOR LILY TO BE
LEFT WITH NO ONE AND NOTHING.

NOW WHICHEVER ONE OF YOU
MAKES THAT HAPPEN FIRST

CAN HAVE THE MICROFILM.

I'LL BE WAITING
TO HEAR YOUR PLANS.

AND BE CREATIVE.

(Sky Ferreira's "Red Lips"
playing)

* RED LIPS

* YOU'RE TEN A PENNY

* CHEAP SHOT

* SPREADING YOUR LEGS
FOR THE BOYS *

* WATCH OUT

* 'CAUSE SOMEONE WILL
BEAT YOU THE SAME *

(giggles)

(sighs)

IT WENT PERFECTLY!

YOU SHOULD'VE SEEN
BART AND CHUCK SQUIRM!

OH! I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE LILY GET
CAUGHT IN THEIR CROSS FIRE.

YOU REALLY
PLAYED THIS OUT MASTERFULLY.

I'M SO PROUD OF YOU.

* YOUR NAME, TOO BAD

I AM JUST GLAD
THIS IS ALMOST OVER.

I MISSED YOU SO MUCH,
IT HURT.

* BIG GIRL

BUT SOMETIMES

THE PARTNER IS MORE SHOCKING
THAN THE CRIME ITSELF.

* WHAT A SHOCK

OKAY, WHAT IF NELLY IS RIGHT?

WHAT IF MY LINE GETS LOST
BECAUSE I'M NOT IN HIGH SCHOOL

OR THAT MY DAD'S NOT A BEATLE?

MISS BLAIR,
TAKE DEEP BREATHS.

(inhales deeply)

HEY, B., YOU MAY NOT BE
THE QUEEN BEE ANYMORE,

BUT SAGE IS.

IF YOU GET HER ON YOUR SIDE,
ALL THE OTHER GIRLS WILL FOLLOW.

WHAT MAKES YOU THINK SAGE WOULD
DO EITHER OF US A FAVOR?

SHE WOULDN'T,

BUT SHE'D DO ANYTHING
TO KEEP ME AND STEVEN APART.

YOU ARE APART.

WELL, MAYBE WE MAKE IT LOOK LIKE
WE'RE GETTING BACK TOGETHER.

I HAVE A PHOTO ON MY PHONE.

IT'S NOT A SEX TAPE,
BUT IT IS A KISS.

MAYBE WE DATE STAMP IT TO MAKE
IT LOOK LIKE IT WAS TAKEN TODAY.

AND SEND TO "GOSSIP GIRL"
TO TRICK MISS SAGE.

(scoffs) BUT ALL SAGE WOULD
HAVE TO DO

IS ASK HER DAD IF IT'S TRUE.

IT MAKES PERFECT SENSE THAT
HE WOULD COVER OUR RELATIONSHIP.

HE KNOWS THAT SAGE
HATES US BEING TOGETHER.

SO SAGE SEES THE BLAST
AND COMES TO ME FOR HELP,

JUST LIKE WHEN SHE THOUGHT
STEVEN WAS PROPOSING,

WHICH GIVES ME LEVERAGE
TO ASK FOR HER SUPPORT.

I'LL ADMIT,

IT'S NOT A TERRIBLE PLAN.

OF COURSE,
I NEED PHOTO APPROVAL.

LET ME FIND IT.

(clicking)

ACCEPTABLE.

NOW GO. NO ONE CAN SUSPECT
WE'RE CONSPIRING.

OF COURSE NOT.

YOU KNOW, I-I PLAYED
HEDDA GABLER IN HIGH SCHOOL,

BUT ACTING LIKE I'M INTO RUFUS
WHEN I'M REALLY IN LOVE WITH YOU

IS THE HARDEST ROLE
OF MY LIFE.

YOU DESERVE AN OSCAR,
DARLING.

BUT TAKE SOLACE IN KNOWING
THAT YOU SERVE A HIGHER CAUSE.

GIVING LILY HER COMEUPPANCE?

THOUGH I-I STILL WISH WE HAD
TAKEN THE MONEY AND RUN,

LIKE I WANTED TO.

SO DO I,
BUT THIS IS WHAT LOLA WANTED.

AND LILY DESERVES TO PAY
FOR THE WAY SHE TREATED YOU.

I OWE LOLA FOR A LOT MORE
THAN JUST THE MONEY.

I MEAN,
IF SHE HADN'T ASKED YOU

TO HELP TRANSFER THE FUNDS
TO ME,

I WOULD'VE NEVER MET
THE REAL YOU.

EVEN THOUGH IT WAS AWFUL
TO TEAR MYSELF AWAY FROM YOU,

YOUR PLAN WAS BRILLIANT.

WELL, NOW YOU HAVE ACCESS
TO LILY'S SECRETS

AND INFLUENCE
TO TURN RUFUS AGAINST HER.

BUT IF I EAT ANOTHER WAFFLE,
I'LL PUKE.

(laughs)

(sighs) NOW THAT OUR PLAN'S
ALMOST DONE,

CAN'T I PLEASE STOP
THIS CHARADE?

NOT YET. NOT YET, NO.

I MEAN, THE--THE MICROFILM
MAY BE OUR GOLDEN TICKET,

BUT WE STILL HAVE TO SEE
IF CHUCK OR BART ARE WILLING

TO SACRIFICE LILY FOR IT.

COME ON.
LET ME BUY YOU LUNCH.

HMM.

AND THIS WAY,

YOU DON'T HAVE TO SUBSIST
ON WAFFLES ALONE.

I KNOW A SMALL,
OUT-OF-THE-WAY PLACE.

I'LL PULL THE CAR AROUND,
OKAY?

SOUNDS WONDERFUL.

MM.

MMM.

(door opens)

(door closes)

(sighs)

OH, THANK GOD.
I'VE BEEN SICK WITH WORRY.

DID YOU FIND THE MICROFILM
AT CHARLES'?

NO, BECAUSE CHUCK
DOESN'T HAVE IT. IVY DOES.

WHAT? HOW?

She found it in the lining
of the painting

BEFORE SHE SOLD IT TO CHUCK
THE NIGHT OF THE AUCTION.

I AM SO SORRY, BART.

W-what does she want for it?

YOU.

She will give the records
to me or Chuck

IN EXCHANGE FOR DESTROYING
YOUR LIFE.

WITH IVY, I'M NOT SURPRISED.

Of course, I would never
do anything to harm you,

BUT I WORRY CHUCK WILL
TAKE HER UP ON HER OFFER.

OH, CHARLES WOULD NEVER
ACTIVELY HURT ME.

DON'T BE NAIVE, LILY.

IF CHUCK GETS A HOLD
OF THE MICROFILM,

HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT.

LET ME CALL RUFUS.

MAYBE HE'LL BE REASONABLE
AND HELP ME GET IT BACK

BEFORE ANYONE GETS HURT.

DO WHAT YOU CAN.

IN THE MEANTIME,
I'LL WORK ON CHUCK.

(beep)

YOU'RE NOT SERIOUSLY THINKING
ABOUT TAKING IVY'S DEAL,

ARE YOU?

I MAY HAVE NO CHOICE.

(elevator bell dings)

I ASKED LILY FOR HELP BEFORE.
SHE REFUSED.

HEY. SORRY TO INTERRUPT.

WHAT DO YOU WANT?

I CAME TO APOLOGIZE.

I'VE BEEN DOING
SOME SOUL-SEARCHING.

(scoffs) THAT IMPLIES
YOU HAVE A SOUL.

(chuckles) THAT'S FUNNY,
COMING FROM YOU.

THAT'S HILARIOUS.
I MEAN, WHO WOULD'VE THOUGHT

CHUCK BASS TURNS OUT TO BE
THE GOOD GUY

AND HUMPHREY THE VILLAIN?

WELL, I-I-I REALLY WANNA
TURN THAT AROUND.

I'M SORRY ABOUT WHAT I WROTE
ABOUT ALL OF YOU.

I'M HERE TO MAKE AMENDS.

HMM.

WELL, IF YOU REALLY
MEAN THAT...

YOU JUST GAVE ME AN IDEA.

(door closes)

(cell phone beeps)

WELL, IF IT ISN'T
GYPSY ROSE LEE...

WITHOUT THE TALENT.

I HAVE NO NEED FOR STRIPPERS
OR SEX TAPES AT MY POP-UP SHOP,

SO PLEASE RUN ALONG.

YOU SHOULD BE THANKING ME.

THAT TAPE GOT YOU EXACTLY WHAT
YOU WANTED.

AND DID IT GET YOU
WHAT YOU WANTED?

YEAH, IT DID.
MY DAD AND SERENA SPLIT UP,

WHICH IS HOW I WANT THEM
TO STAY.

I SAW
THE "GOSSIP GIRL" BLAST.

HAS SERENA
SAID ANYTHING TO YOU

ABOUT GETTING BACK TOGETHER
WITH MY FATHER?

SHE'S MY BEST FRIEND.
SHE TELLS ME EVERYTHING.

SO IT'S TRUE.

OF COURSE, THE MINUTE
I GO TO MY MOM'S,

HE GOES CRAWLING BACK
TO HER.

HE SWORE TO ME THAT THINGS
WERE OVER BETWEEN THEM.

I MIGHT BE WILLING
TO GIVE YOU SOME GUIDANCE.

THAT IS, IF YOU DO
SOMETHING FOR ME.

NAME IT.

YOU'RE
THE QUEEN OF CONSTANCE,

AND I KNOW THERE'S A SECRET
SOCIETY MADE OF THE MONARCHS

OF THE FIVE MOST POWERFUL
PRIVATE SCHOOLS IN MANHATTAN.

I KNOW BECAUSE I CREATED IT.

SO?

I WANT A MEETING

WITH THE HEADS
OF THE FIVE FAMILIES.

MAKE IT QUICK, LILY.

I KNOW YOU HATE ME, RUFUS.

YOU MADE THAT
ABUNDANTLY CLEAR

WHEN YOU HELPED IVY ENACT
HER REVENGE AT THE AUCTION.

GET TO THE POINT.

IVY'S DONE SOMETHING NOW THAT
GOES FAR BEYOND HURTING ME.

IT ENDANGERS MY FAMILY,
MY CHILDREN.

THEY USED TO BE
YOUR FAMILY, TOO.

W-WHAT KIND OF DANGER
ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

IVY'S IN POSSESSION
OF SOME BUSINESS RECORDS.

THEY'RE SIMPLE DOCUMENTS.

THEY MEAN NOTHING TO ANYONE
OUTSIDE OF OUR FAMILY,

BUT THEY HAVE THE POWER
TO DESTROY US.

PLEASE FIND IT IN YOUR HEART
TO BE THE BIGGER PERSON.

GET THEM BACK FOR ME.

IF YOU HAD NOTHING TO HIDE,

THEN NO ONE COULD USE
THIS EVIDENCE AGAINST YOU.

LILY, I'M SORRY.
YOU REAP WHAT YOU SOW.

I'M NOT GETTING INVOLVED.

WELL, THANK YOU
FOR THE LOVELY LUNCH.

MY PLEASURE.

WE'RE ALMOST AT
THE FINISH LINE, MY LOVE.

YEAH.

(cell phone alert chimes)

(sighs) AND IT LOOKS LIKE
CHUCK WILL BE THE WINNER.

HE WANTS ME TO MEET HIM NOW
TO TELL ME HIS PLAN.

CALL WHEN YOU CAN.

YEAH.

HEY.

I DON'T KNOW WHY YOU'RE HERE,
BUT GET OUT

BEFORE SECURITY
THROWS YOU OUT.

THAT'S NOT A NICE WAY
TO GREET YOUR PARTNER.

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

YOU ARE INDEBTED TO ME,

AND I'M HERE TO COLLECT.

SO UNLESS TO WANNA
LOSE EVERYTHING,

YOU'RE GONNA
HELP ME DEFEAT CHUCK.

BUCK UP. IT'S GONNA BE FUN.

BETRAYAL IS
A BITTER PILL TO SWALLOW,

BUT NOTHING'S WORSE

THAN HAVING BLACKMAIL
SHOVED DOWN YOUR THROAT.

(Sage) DONS NIGHTINGALE,
BREARLEY, CHAPIN, AND SPENCE,

LET US NOW HAVE THIS MEETING
COMMENCE.

DON CONSTANCE,
WHY IS SHE HERE?

I'M HERE, NIGHTINGALE,

BECAUSE NOT ONLY WAS I
THE QUEEN OF CONSTANCE,

BUT I ALSO INVENTED
THIS COUNCIL.

SO AS REGINA EMERITA,

IT IS MY ROYAL PREROGATIVE
TO COMMAND YOU TO ATTEND

MY POP-UP EVENT TONIGHT
AND BE FANS.

SAGE, YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE
BROUGHT HER HERE.

THIS ISN'T AN ALUMNI EVENT.

DON BREARLEY IS RIGHT.
IT'S A CLEAR BREACH OF SECURITY.

(lowered voice) INVOKE
THE ORDER OF THE SECRETS.

ORDER OF THE WHAT?

CODIFIED BLACKMAIL.

IF THEY DON'T DO WHAT YOU SAY,
YOU SPILL THEIR SECRETS.

LOOK, THE RULES SAY I'M ENTITLED
TO ASK THE COUNCIL FOR ONE FAVOR

DURING MY REIGN.
THIS IS IT.

AND IF YOU REFUSE,
SHE'LL HAVE NO CHOICE

BUT TO REVEAL YOUR AFFAIR
WITH YOUR DRAMA TEACHER.

YOUR LATIN TEACHER?

YOUR FATHER'S
BUSINESS PARTNER.

WHAT? THAT'S HOW WE DID IT
IN MY DAY.

WE'LL GRANT DON CONSTANCE
HER ONE REQUEST,

AND RECONVENE
AT THE POP-UP EVENT.

THE ATTIRE
IS FESTIVE COCKTAIL!

WHEN DID THE QUEENS START
CALLING THEMSELVES "DON"?

WELL, EVERYONE LOVES A CROWN,
BUT WHEN IT COMES TO POWER,

THE MOB TOTALLY TRUMPS
THE MONARCHY.

YOU COSIGNED MY CREDIT LINE?

I NEVER ASKED YOU TO DO THAT.

INGRATITUDE DOESN'T BECOME YOU,
NATHANIEL.

YOU HAVE PUT SO MUCH WORK
INTO "THE SPECTATOR."

IT WOULD BE A SHAME
TO LOSE IT ALL NOW.

I'M NOT GONNA BETRAY
MY BEST FRIEND.

MY LOAN WILL BE IN DEFAULT.
I'LL FILE FOR BANKRUPTCY.

AND AS FOR "THE SPECTATOR,"
YOU CAN TAKE IT.

YOUR LOYALTY IS VERY TOUCHING,

BUT I'M AFRAID YOUR ACTIONS
HAVE MORE SERIOUS CONSEQUENCES.

YOU COULDN'T RESIST
FAKING THE NUMBERS.

MUST BE...

AN ARCHIBALD GENE.

SO YOU HAVE A CHOICE.

EITHER YOU CAN TELL ME
CHUCK'S PLAN TO WIN OVER IVY,

OR YOU CAN GO TO PRISON

AND DRAG YOUR MOTHER
AND GRANDFATHER

THROUGH A PUBLIC DISGRACE

EVEN MORE SENSATIONAL
THAN THAT OF YOUR FATHER'S.

WHAT'S IT GONNA BE?

I USUALLY FROWN UPON
NEGOTIATING WITH TERRORISTS,

BUT STAMPING OUT
MY FATHER'S FREEDOM

HAS BECOME MY LIFE'S MISSION.

WHAT'S YOUR PLAN
TO DESTROY LILY?

SIMPLY PLAY THE POWERFUL CARD
WE'VE BEEN DEALT.

THE MICROFILM'S ENOUGH
TO PUT HER AWAY, TOO,

AS LONG AS SHE APPEARS TO BE
BART'S ACCOMPLICE.

YOU MEAN PLANT IT ON HER.

PRECISELY.

YOU GIVE ME THE FILM,
I'LL DO THE DIRTY WORK,

THEN TIP OFF THE FEDS.

OKAY.

BUT IT HAS TO HAPPEN
IN PUBLIC.

I WANT PRISON
PLUS HUMILIATION.

NOT A PROBLEM.

BRING THE FILM
TO BLAIR'S EVENT TONIGHT,

AND I'LL TAKE CARE
OF THE REST.

DONE.

(door closes)

DAN, WHAT ARE YOU
DOING HERE?

OH. HEY, DAD.

I'M JUST, UH, JUST PICKING UP
SOME OF MY STUFF HERE.

BUT I'M--I'M MAINLY HERE
TO SEE YOU.

I HURT YOU.

I-I JEOPARDIZED
OUR RELATIONSHIP,

WHICH MEANS MORE TO ME
THAN ANYTHING.

I'M--I'M HERE TO MAKE AMENDS
WITH YOU AND IVY.

I'M HAPPY YOU WANNA
MAKE AMENDS, SON,

BUT I OWE YOU AN APOLOGY
AS WELL.

IT LOOKS LIKE YOU WERE RIGHT
ABOUT IVY.

I WAS A FOOL
FOR TRUSTING HER.

HONEY, I'M HOME!

I'LL TAKE THAT AS MY CUE.

UH... (chuckles)

WHAT'S GOING ON?

YOU TELL ME.

I SAW YOU PUTTING SOMEONE
IN A TOWN CAR TODAY,

KISSING HIM GOOD-BYE.

I OPENED MY HEART TO YOU.

I OPENED MY HOME.

I BELIEVED YOU WHEN YOU SAID YOU
WERE PROTECTING ME FROM LILY.

(scoffs) AT LEAST
HAVE THE DECENCY TO TELL ME

WHAT WAS TRUE
AND WHAT WERE LIES.

IT WAS ALL TRUE.

I MEAN, LILY WAS HORRIBLE
TO YOU,

LIKE SHE IS TO EVERYONE.

AND WHAT ABOUT US?

THERE WAS SOMEONE ELSE
BEFORE YOU.

AND I THOUGHT IT WAS OVER,
BUT I RAN INTO HIM LAST WEEK

AND REALIZED IT WASN'T.

I'M SORRY, RUFUS.

PACK YOUR BAGS AND GET OUT.

HURRY, HURRY, HURRY!
LET'S GET TO THE POP-UP!

SERENA, YOUR SCHEME IS UNFOLDING
ON SCHEDULE.

I EXCEPT TO SEE YOU AT MY EVENT
TONIGHT FOR THE DENOUEMENT.

AND...

I WON'T MIND IF YOU'RE NOT MUTE.

(Dorota) LET'S MOVE!

I SUPPOSE I COULD USE
A FRIEND THERE WITH ME

TO CELEBRATE MY SUCCESS.

(Antennas Up's "Pretenders"
playing)

(Dorota) COME ON, COME ON,
COME ON, COME ON!

**

(sighs)

DON BREARLEY, I JUST SAW MY DAD,
WHO IS MISERABLE WITH HEARTACHE.

IF HE IS REALLY BACK WITH SERENA
AND LYING TO ME,

HE WOULDN'T BE BLUBBERING
LIKE A BABY.

WE'VE BEEN PLAYED.

I'LL SEE YOU AT THE POP-UP PARTY
BUT THE PLAN HAS CHANGED.

**

(beep)

HEY, MAN, I DID WHAT YOU ASKED.
I SEARCHED THE LOFT AND NO LUCK.

BUT I SAW IVY ON THE WAY OUT

AND SPOTTED THE ENVELOPE
IN HER BAG.

DID YOU GET IT?

NO, I COULDN'T.

THERE WAS NO WAY.
THEY WOULD'VE SEEN ME.

I UNDERSTAND, WHICH IS WHY
I HAVE A BACKUP PLAN.

IVY WILL BRING THE MICROFILM
TO BLAIR'S EVENT TONIGHT.

THE FEDS WILL BE THERE.

I CONVINCED HER
I'D PLANT IT ON LILY.

LILY'S GOING TO
BLAIR'S JUNIOR LINE DEBUT?

NO,
BUT IVY DOESN'T KNOW THAT.

I'D NEVER HURT LILY.

I'M SORRY I COULDN'T BE
MORE HELPFUL.

Thanks for trying, Humphrey.

THE IMPORTANT THING IS,

I GOT TO IVY
BEFORE MY FATHER DID.

(whimpers)

(cell phone rings)

(ring)

(ring)

(ring)

(ring, beep)

(chuckles)

BART.

YOU'RE TOO LATE.

I ALREADY STRUCK A DEAL WITH--

Chuck.

A takedown
at Blair's fashion party.

BUT IN ACTUALITY, HE LURED YOU
TO THE EMPIRE TO DISTRACT YOU

while Dan searched the loft.

HOLD ON A SEC.

(lowered voice) IF HE WAS TRYING
TO STEAL THE MICROFILM,

HE DIDN'T SUCCEED.

Chuck has no intention
of having Lily arrested.

He was planning on
screwing you over all along.

(door closes)
AND WHY SHOULD I BELIEVE YOU?

Because I have someone here

WHO CAN CONFIRM
EVERYTHING I'M SAYING IS TRUE.

ISN'T THAT RIGHT, NATE?

(sighs)

It's true.

LUCKILY, I HAVE AN OFFER
FOR YOU.

HI. DO YOU LIKE THE BEADS?

(speaks indistinctly)

(speaks indistinctly)

(Katy Tiz's "Famous" playing)

* NOT EVEN 30 SECONDS

* YOU'RE ASKING
LOADS OF QUESTIONS *

* YOU'RE KILLING
THE CONNECTION *

* OH-OH-OH, OH-OH-OH

* WE'RE KISSING IN THE LIMO

* YOU PASS OVER YOUR DEMO

* TRY TO PLAY ME LIKE NINTENDO

* OH-OH-OH, OH-OH-OH

* DON'T ACT LIKE YOU DON'T KNOW
WHO I AM *

THE DONS.
THANK GOD YOU'RE HERE.

NOW... START FAWNING.
LOUDLY.

AND I KNOW THAT YOU DON'T HAVE
A LIMIT ON YOUR CREDIT CARDS...

(singsongy) SO BUY, BUY, BUY!

SORRY, BLAIR.
I CALLED OFF THE FAVOR.

WHAT?

I KNOW YOU DUPED ME
ABOUT MY DAD AND SERENA.

I ONLY BROUGHT THE DONS HERE
TO BE DETRACTORS.

AND IF WE SAY THE CLOTHES SUCK,
IT'S LAW.

COME ON, GIRLS. AND REMEMBER,
PLASTIC STAYS IN POCKETS.

WAIT. WAIT, DONS.

DONS?

BLAIR.

I MUST ADMIT,

I'M IMPRESSED
THE HIGH SCHOOL CROWD SHOWED UP.

WE'LL JUST HAVE TO SEE WHETHER
THEY LOVE OR HATE THE LINE.

I'LL GO GET QUOTES FROM THEM
FOR "W.W.D."

OH! WAIT. YOU KNOW WHAT?

YOU SIMPLY MUST SEE
MY ACCESSORIES.

THEY'RE IN THE CORNER.
THE FAR CORNER.

THIS WAY.

* 'CAUSE I'M FAMOUS

YOU SURE HE DIDN'T SEE
IT WAS ME?

IF RUFUS HAD SEEN YOU,
HE WOULD'VE SAID SO.

THIS COULDN'T BE BETTER.

NOW I DON'T HAVE TO INVENT
A REASON TO BREAK UP WITH HIM.

THIS "BREAKUP" MUSTN'T UNDO
ALL THE WORK YOU DID

TO POISON RUFUS AGAINST LILY.

I MEAN, OUR EFFORTS
ARE FOR NOTHING

IF RUFUS TAKES HER BACK
THE MINUTE SHE HITS ROCK BOTTOM.

HE WON'T TAKE HER BACK.

WELL, THEN WE'RE AT THE END
OF OUR ROAD.

MM, IT'S ALL RIDING
ON YOUR MEETING WITH BART.

I'LL DO WHATEVER IT TAKES.

(Dirty Radio's "Dancing Alone"
playing)

IT'S BEEN AN HOUR.
WHERE IS SHE?

HER PHONE IS STILL OFF.

THIS ISN'T A GAME, MR. BASS.
YOU SAID YOU HAD HARD EVIDENCE.

DON'T WASTE OUR TIME AGAIN.

**

CHUCK. OH, YOU'RE HERE.

THINGS ARE GOING HORRIBLY.

GIRLS TODAY
ARE OUT OF CONTROL.

THEY'RE LIKE
TINY LITTLE VULTURES.

THEN BLAIR WALDORF WOULD BE

THE FALCON WHO DIVES IN
AND DEVOURS THEM ALL.

PLEASE. COMPARED TO THEM,
I'M LIKE A TURTLEDOVE.

WELL, AT LEAST NELLY'S
DISTRACTED TALKING TO D.V.F.

I NEED TO FIND SERENA AND FORCE
HER TO FIX THINGS WITH SAGE.

THE LINE LOOKS BEAUTIFUL.

I'M SURE IT'S GOING TO BE
A HUGE SUCCESS.

UNLESS I CAN DO
SOME DAMAGE CONTROL,

THERE'S NO CHANCE OF THAT.

SPEAKING OF, I NEED TO DO
SOME DAMAGE CONTROL MYSELF.

WELL, GOOD LUCK.

IT'S MY FAITH IN YOU THAT'S
FIRING ME UP TO FIX THIS MESS.

**

DID YOU BRING IT?

YES.

I'LL SHOW YOU MINE
IF YOU SHOW ME YOURS FIRST.

I'M DIVORCING LILY.
HERE ARE THE PAPERS.

YOU MAY LEAK THEM
TO WHOMEVER YOU CHOOSE.

(scoffs)

THAT'S HARDLY ENOUGH.

LILY'S BEEN DIVORCED
FOUR, FIVES TIMES ALREADY.

WHO CAN KEEP COUNT?

I WANT HER HUMILIATED.

WHAT DID YOU HAVE IN MIND?

(inhales deeply)

TAKE OFF YOUR CLOTHES.

EXCUSE ME?

YOU HEARD ME. STRIP.

(Niki Watkins' "Get Wild"
playing)

I SHOULD HAVE EXPECTED
THE TYPICAL SERENA SABOTAGE--

PRETENDING TO BE MY FRIEND

AND THEN SENDING IN
THOSE MINI MAFIOSAS

TO BLOW UP MY POP-UP SHOP.

SAGE KNOWS
YOU'RE NOT BACK WITH STEVEN.

I WONDER WHO TOLD HER.

WELL, IT WASN'T ME, I SWEAR.

BLAIR, I JUST WANNA HELP.

IF I CHOOSE TO BELIEVE YOU,
AND IF YOU REALLY WANNA HELP,

THEN COME UP WITH A NEW SCHEME

BEFORE THOSE TEENAGE GOOMBAS
RUIN EVERYTHING.

(man) MISS WALDORF,
MAY I TAKE A PICTURE?

(camera shutter clicks)

LOOK, I'LL DO WHATEVER YOU WANT,
BUT YOU DON'T NEED A SCHEME.

YOUR LINE IS SPECTACULAR
AND IT SPEAKS FOR ITSELF.

AND THERE'S NOTHING THAT SAGE
OR ANYONE CAN DO TO CHANGE THAT.

IT'S TIME FOR YOU TO START
TRUSTING YOURSELF

AND ACCEPTING THE FACT THAT
YOU ARE OBSCENELY TALENTED.

(sighs)

YOU REALLY MEAN THAT?

YES. B., YOUR CLOTHES
ARE BEAUTIFUL AND ORIGINAL,

LIKE YOU.

DON'T TAKE MY WORD FOR IT.
LOOK AROUND.

**

HEY! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

THIS IS THE LAST SIZE 2,
AND I LIKED IT FIRST.

(Nightingale) SORRY.
ALL'S FAIR IN SHOPPING AND WAR.

WHAT ARE YOU GUYS DOING?!

YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO
BE HATING ON EVERYTHING.

BUT WE LOVE IT,

AND DEVOTION TO GREAT CLOTHES
TRUMPS FIVE FAMILY LOYALTY.

UH, HI. EXCUSE ME.

DO YOU MIND IF I QUOTE YOU?

OH, MY GOSH.

THEY LIKE ME.

THEY REALLY LIKE ME!

**

* GET WILD

NATHANIEL,
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

IT'S NOT LIKE YOU
TO BE PARTYING ALONE.

(chuckles) WELL, THAT'S WHAT
I WANT TO BE--ALONE...

AND UNCONSCIOUS.
(clears throat)

BELIEVE ME, WHATEVER PROBLEMS
YOU'VE GOT AT "THE SPECTATOR"

CANNOT COMPARE
TO MY DAY FROM HELL.

SO IF YOU DON'T MIND,
I'D LIKE TO JOIN YOU.

CHUCK...

IT WAS, UH,
IT WAS ALL MY FAULT.

WHAT WAS?

THERE WAS NOTHING I COULD DO.

HE CORNERED ME.

"HE" WHO?

MY FATHER?

YOU TELL ME WHAT HAPPENED.
WHAT DID HE DO?

WHAT DID HE MAKE YOU DO?

WHAT...

TELL ME.

BEFORE WE DO THIS...

THE MICROFILM.

OH. NO, WE'RE NOT ACTUALLY
GOING TO HAVE SEX. (chuckles)

I JUST WANNA TAKE
A COUPLE SNAPSHOTS

TO MAKE IT LOOK LIKE WE DID.

ALL THAT MATTERS

IS THAT LILY BELIEVES
SHE LOST TWO HUSBANDS TO ME.

I'M FINE BEING
YOUR ELIOT SPITZER SCANDAL,

BUT I'M
A PAY-FOR-PLAY KINDA GUY.

THE MICROFILM FIRST.

(Gossling's "Heart Killer"
playing)

IVY.
(whispers) OH, GOD.

DON'T DO THIS.

MY FATHER WILL SCREW YOU,
THEN SCREW YOU OVER.

IT'S NOT TOO LATE
TO DO THE RIGHT THING.

BEHIND THE CURVE AS ALWAYS,
CHUCK.

IT I TOO LATE.

WHAT IS THIS, SOME KIND OF JOKE?

* I WANNA SEE HURT,
I WANNA SEE HURT *

WHAT IN THE WORLD
ARE YOU DOING HERE?

* WATCHING YOU DROWN

I KNOW I SAID I WOULDN'T
HELP YOU, BUT I CHANGED MY MIND.

* WATCHING YOU DROWN

I HAVE WHAT
YOU'RE LOOKING FOR.

THEY SAY
NOTHING INSPIRES FORGIVENESS

QUITE LIKE REVENGE.

THE MICROFILM WAS
IN THAT ENVELOPE, I SWEAR.

IF YOU DON'T FIND IT
AND HAND IT OVER--

ALL THE TORTURE
YOU WISHED ON LILY,

IT'LL SEEM LIKE CHILD'S PLAY.

MY FATHER'S THREATS AREN'T IDLE.
NEITHER ARE MINE.

THERE'S ONLY ONE PERSON
WHO KNEW I HAD IT,

WHO MIGHT KNOW WHERE IT IS.

THANKS.

SINCE WHEN DID YOU START
SPIKING YOUR CHAMOMILE?

OH, IT'S BEEN A ROUGH DAY.

HOPE THIS MAKES THINGS
A BIT BETTER.

(teacup clinks)

YOU HAVE NO IDEA.

THANK YOU, RUFUS.

WHAT MADE YOU CHANGE
YOUR MIND?

IVY'S NOT
WHO I THOUGHT SHE WAS.

I KNOW. I SHOULD'VE
BEEN TIPPED OFF

BY THE WHOLE "PRETENDING TO BE
YOUR NIECE" THING.

WELL, YOU ALWAYS BELIEVE
THE BEST IN PEOPLE.

IT'S YOUR VIRTUE
AND YOUR DOWNFALL.

I STILL SEE
THE BEST IN YOU, LIL.

AFTER EVERYTHING
THAT WE'VE BEEN THROUGH,

IT'S PROBABLY SAFE TO SAY
THAT WE WON'T BE TOGETHER AGAIN.

BUT WE WERE FAMILY
FOR A LONG TIME,

AND THAT MEANS SOMETHING.

I'D REALLY LIKE PEACE
BETWEEN US.

(elevator bell dings,
doors open)

DAD, HEY.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

YOU INSPIRED ME TO MAKE
SOME AMENDS OF MY OWN, SON.

ARE YOU GETTING BACK TOGETHER
WITH LILY? W--

NO, I'M JUST RETURNING SOMETHING
OF LILY'S THAT IVY STOLE.

WHY IS THIS PERSON TAKING
SO LONG GETTING BACK TO YOU?

I... I DON'T KNOW.

(cell phone alert chimes)

(beep)

WHERE YOU GOING?

DOES BLAIR NEED YOU TO COME OVER
TO KILL A SPIDER?

I'M NOT WASTING
ANY MORE TIME.

SO YOU'RE GIVING UP?
WHAT A SHOCKER.

YOU'RE RIGHT.
YOU KNOW ME SO WELL.

MY PATIENCE IS WEARING THIN.

YOU BETTER MAKE
THIS PERSON APPEAR FAST.

(beep)

(Haley Reinhardt and B.o.B.'s
"Oh My!" playing)

* YEAH

* WHOA, WHOA, WHOA

* WHOA

WE ALMOST SOLD OUT.

(laughs) I FEEL LIKE
I'M DREAMING.

UH-OH. 2 GIRLS WRESTLING
FOR LAST 3-BUTTON VEST.

I GO ACT AS REFEREE.

* I'M BURNING UP INSIDE

I HAVE ALWAYS KNOWN
THAT I HAD

THE MOST BRILLIANT,
TALENTED BEST FRIEND,

BUT NOW THE WHOLE WORLD
GETS TO KNOW, TOO.

THANK YOU.

I'M SORRY FOR ACCUSING YOU
OF TURNING SAGE AGAINST ME.

NO,
I'M SORRY FOR EVERYTHING.

I DON'T THINK I WAS EVER ABLE
TO GET OVER HOW HURT I WAS

THAT YOU WERE DATING DAN,
WHICH IS WHY I ACTED SO BADLY.

I GET IT.
IF YOU'D HAVE DATED CHUCK,

I WOULD'VE
SCRATCHED YOUR EYES OUT.

(indistinct conversations)

* OH, OH, OH, OH MY!

I'VE REALLY MISSED YOU.

I MISSED YOU, TOO, B.

YOU'RE ABOUT TO GET EVERYTHING
YOU EVER WANTED,

AND TONIGHT'S SUCCESS IS--
IS JUST THE BEGINNING.

WELL, THIS LINE WAS INSPIRED
BY BOTH OF US,

RULING CONSTANCE TOGETHER.

THIS IS YOUR SUCCESS, TOO.

I JUST HOPE THAT THIS NIGHT
LEADS TO...

THE OTHER THING
I'VE ALWAYS WANTED--

TO BE WITH CHUCK.

HE LOVES YOU MORE THAN ANYTHING
IN THE WHOLE WORLD.

YOU'LL FIND
YOUR GREAT LOVE, TOO.

UM, I SHOULD PROBABLY
GET GOING.

BUT BREAKFAST TOMORROW MORNING?
SARABETH'S?

YES. 9:00 A.M. SHARP.

CONGRATULATIONS, B.

THANK YOU.

* OH MY!

LILY, PLEASE!

DON'T PROTECT HIM.

WHY WOULDN'T I PROTECT
MY HUSBAND?

HE'S THE ONLY ONE
THAT PROTECTS ME.

NO, THAT'S NOT TRUE.

YOU'RE THE ONE WILLING
TO GO TO ANY LENGTHS,

AND I'VE HAD ENOUGH OF IT.

I KNOW YOU WANNA BELIEVE
HE IS A CHANGED MAN,

THAT HE IS A GOOD MAN.

AND I WANTED TO BELIEVE
THAT, TOO, SO BADLY.

BUT THE TRUTH IS,
IS HE IS A RUTHLESS CRIMINAL.

IF YOU DESTROY THAT EVIDENCE,

THERE IS NOTHING TO STOP HIM
FROM HURTING ANYONE,

INCLUDING YOU.

THAT'S RIDICULOUS, CHARLES.

HE WOULD NEVER HURT ME.

SINCE HIS RETURN, HE HAS DONE
NOTHING BUT PROVE HIS LOVE.

YOU ONCE TOLD ME MY FATHER
WAS INCAPABLE OF LOVE.

THAT IS THE TRUTH.

I JUST SAW HIM IN A HOTEL ROOM,
HALF-NAKED,

WITH IVY.

THAT LIE...

IS BENEATH EVEN YOU, CHARLES.

I'M NOT GONNA LET YOU
OR ANYONE ELSE

THREATEN OUR FAMILY
EVER AGAIN.

DON'T!

ASHES TO ASHES.
DUST TO DUST.

EVEN THE BEST-LAID PLANS
CAN GO BUST.

(door opens and closes)

WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?

I'VE BEEN CALLING
FOR AN HOUR.

I JUST GOT YOUR MESSAGES.

ARE YOU--

OKAY? NO! I'M NOT OKAY!

OUR PLAN FAILED.

OKAY, RUFUS MUST'VE TAKEN
THE MICROFILM FROM MY PURSE

AND GIVEN IT TO LILY.

I WAS WITH BART
WHEN SHE CALLED HIM

TO TELL HIM
THAT SHE DESTROYED IT.

SO LILY'S...
STILL WITH BART?

YES.

AND NOW THAT HE KNOWS
I'M AFTER LILY,

HE'S THREATENED
TO DESTROY ME.

(whispers) LOOK, HE'S SCARY,
WILLIAM. HE'LL DO IT.

CALM DOWN FOR A SECOND.

I CAN'T!

CAN'T YOU SEE THAT
WITHOUT THE MICROFILM,

WE CAN'T FIGHT BACK?

I KNOW THAT I-I PROMISED LOLA
THAT WE'D DO EVERYTHING WE COULD

TO DESTROY LILY.

BUT... WE'VE DONE
EVERYTHING THAT WE COULD.

YOU'RE RIGHT.
I SUPPOSE WE SHOULD...

LEAVE AND REGROUP FOR NOW.

I KNOW THAT WE DIDN'T
GET LILY, BUT...

THE MOST IMPORTANT THING
IS THAT WE HAVE EACH OTHER.

OF COURSE.

(cell phone rings)

(beep)

(sighs) HELLO?

(Bart) So Chuck's little game
is over, Nathaniel.

IN SPITE OF YOU TIPPING HIM OFF,
HE LOST.

OF COURSE, ONCE A LOSER,
ALWAYS A LOSER.

(slurring) WHY DON'T YOU GO
GIVE YOUR... (hiccups)

S-STIRRING LITTLE VICTORY SPEECH
TO SOMEONE WHO CARES?

OH, YEAH. THAT'S RIGHT.
NO ONE DOES.

You're just lucky that
Lily destroyed the microfilm

AND BOUGHT YOU A REPRIEVE.

I OWN YOU, AND YOU BETTER
START ACTING LIKE IT.

What, you gonna call
the police?

ALL RIGHT, FINE. JUST DO IT.
HAVE ME ARRESTED.

Oh, you're of more use to me
out of jail...

FOR THE MOMENT.

YOU OWE ME.

Sober up

AND GET READY
TO PAY THE PRICE.

(beep)

(scoffs)

(beep)

(indistinct conversations)

THERE YOU ARE.

THE LINE WAS
A GIGANTIC SUCCESS.

EVEN THE MANNEQUINS
WERE STRIPPED NAKED.

AND NOW WE ARE HAVING A FETE
AT THE ATELIER TO CELEBRATE,

SO OF COURSE I NEED YOU
BY MY SIDE.

AND WHY HAVEN'T YOU BEEN
ANSWERING YOUR PHONE?

I'M HAPPY FOR YOU, BLAIR.

FORGET ME.

CHUCK?

WHAT HAPPENED?

WHAT I SHOULD'VE
ALWAYS EXPECTED.

THE ONLY PARENT
WHO EVER LOVED ME,

THE MOTHER WHO CHOSE ME
AS A SON,

ABANDONED ME.

(mouths word)

I FINALLY HAD THE EVIDENCE
TO VANQUISH MY FATHER.

SHE DESTROYED IT
TO PROTECT HIM.

WE'LL FIND NEW EVIDENCE.

WE'LL FIND ANOTHER WAY.

THERE IS NO OTHER WAY.

THIS WAS IT. IT'S OVER.

WELL, EVEN IF WE CAN'T
PUT BART BEHIND BARS,

WE'LL STILL BE TOGETHER.

STOP... LYING TO YOURSELF.

WE MADE A PACT.

YOU FULFILLED YOUR SIDE.
I FAILED AT MINE.

WE CAN' BE TOGETHER.

CHUCK...

PLEASE.

GO.

JUST GO.

HEY.

HEY.

SO I FINALLY
MADE AMENDS WITH BLAIR,

AND WE'RE IN A REALLY GOOD PLACE
AND I COULDN'T BE HAPPIER.

HOW WAS YOUR DAY?

I HATE TO COMPETE,

BUT I MADE AMENDS WITH CHUCK,
NATE, AND MY DAD.

WOW. I'M IMPRESSED.

YEAH, ALL RIGHT.

SO NOW THAT WE'VE KNOCKED DOWN
OUR LAST OBSTACLES,

ARE WE FINALLY READY
TO DO THIS?

WELL, DO YOU REMEMBER
THAT WE SAID

IF WE EVER JUMPED INTO
A RELATIONSHIP AGAIN THAT

THAT WOULD BE IT?

THAT WE WOULD ONLY GET
ONE MORE CHANCE?

ARE YOU SURE THAT

I'M THE ONE PERSON
YOU WANNA BE WITH?

ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT BLAIR?

SERENA, YES,
I'M SURE YOU ARE THE ONE.

BUT WHETHER OR NOT
I'VE ADMITTED IT TO MYSELF,

YOU HAVE ALWAYS BEEN THE ONE.

HOW ABOUT YOU?

YEAH, I'M SURE.

(Chromatics' "Kill For Love"
playing)

WAIT. HOLD ON.

I THOUGHT THE WHOLE POINT
OF THIS WAS TO GO PUBLIC.

UH, WHAT--WHAT HAPPENED
TO GETTING FRESH AIR?

I MEAN, SHOULDN'T WE GO OUT
AND GET A DRINK OR SOMETHING?

SUDDENLY, I'M OKAY
WITH BEING A SHUT-IN.

* EVERYBODY'S GOT
A SECRET TO HIDE *

LET ME AT LEAST GET CHAMPAGNE
SO WE CAN CELEBRATE.

* EVERYONE IS
SLIPPING BACKWARDS *

SOMETIMES THE LIGHT
IS SO DAZZLING

IT'S ALL YOU CAN SEE.

* I DRANK THE WATER
AND I FELT ALL RIGHT *

OTHER TIMES,
DARK CLOUDS DEVOUR YOU,

AND IT SEEMS THE SKIES
WILL NEVER CLEAR.

* IN MY MIND
I WAS WAITING FOR CHANGE *

* I CAN'T REMEMBER
IF I LIKE WHAT I SAID *

OH!

(all cheering)

* IT WENT STRAIGHT TO MY HEAD

BUT WHEN THE SUN BEAMS
WHILE THE RAIN FALLS,

IT CAN BRING
A BITTERSWEET RAINBOW.

* TOP OF MY HEAD

* BUT I KILLED FOR LOVE

(cell phone rings)

(ring)

(lowered voice)
I ONLY HAVE A MINUTE.

HUMPHREY, GOING ROGUE IS NOT
PART OF OUR AGREEMENT.

WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN?

I'M WRITING
THE SERENA CHAPTER.

WHAT?

(beep)

SO WATCH OUT.

JUST WHEN YOU THINK YOU'RE
DANCING OFF INTO THE SUNSET,

A LIGHTNING BOLT
MAY STRIKE YOU DOWN.

X.O.X.O., GOSSIP GIRL.