Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated:
1
00:00:00,559 --> 00:00:04,480
Look, I already said I was sorry,
pal. So take it or leave it.
2
00:00:04,559 --> 00:00:08,680
Either way, I think we
should probably check if you still have toes.
3
00:00:08,720 --> 00:00:10,720
(music plays quietly)
4
00:00:11,360 --> 00:00:12,959
Break something in my flat.
5
00:00:13,440 --> 00:00:14,440
What?
6
00:00:14,720 --> 00:00:16,000
No.
Seriously.
7
00:00:17,480 --> 00:00:19,720
Break anything here
and then we'll quits.
8
00:00:19,760 --> 00:00:21,000
Pff... Fine.
9
00:00:21,839 --> 00:00:23,519
All right, why do you, wa-
Go on.
10
00:00:23,559 --> 00:00:24,720
Fine.
Anything.
11
00:00:24,760 --> 00:00:26,879
I'll smash something here.
Go on.
12
00:00:26,919 --> 00:00:28,319
Yeah, I'm going to...
13
00:00:28,360 --> 00:00:37,480
??
14
00:00:37,519 --> 00:00:38,519
Do it.
15
00:00:39,720 --> 00:00:41,199
I'm actually gonna do it.
16
00:00:41,239 --> 00:00:43,839
Yeah? Seriously,
I'm gonna smash it. Okay.
17
00:00:48,400 --> 00:00:49,480
You ha-
18
00:00:49,519 --> 00:00:50,599
Go on.
19
00:00:52,480 --> 00:00:54,919
(grunting) I can't do it.
20
00:00:55,959 --> 00:00:58,440
The teapot from Beauty and the
Beast was my first crush.
21
00:00:58,480 --> 00:01:01,120
Wait, wait, Mrs Potts?
Yeah.
22
00:01:01,160 --> 00:01:02,279
Okay, that would never work.
23
00:01:02,319 --> 00:01:04,160
You'd smash her five
minutes into the first date.
24
00:01:04,199 --> 00:01:05,800
You think she'd put out
on the first date?
25
00:01:05,839 --> 00:01:09,000
No, I mean, you're clumsy as fuck.
Yeah. Okay.
26
00:01:09,040 --> 00:01:11,120
Probably knock her over
filling up her wine glass.
27
00:01:11,160 --> 00:01:13,000
Then I'd rebuild her.
28
00:01:13,040 --> 00:01:14,639
Bride a Frankenstein job.
29
00:01:14,680 --> 00:01:16,279
Glue her together from memory.
30
00:01:16,319 --> 00:01:19,120
A spout with a handle used to be.
31
00:01:19,160 --> 00:01:24,000
Aw, Mam, I've met someone.
She's my most perfect creation.
32
00:01:24,040 --> 00:01:27,480
Oh, look, my weird one was I had
this wallpaper by my bed,
33
00:01:27,519 --> 00:01:31,319
and right by my pillow,
there was this boy fox.
34
00:01:31,360 --> 00:01:33,040
He had a little yellow jumper
35
00:01:33,080 --> 00:01:36,199
and a tuft of hair
to show that he was a boy.
36
00:01:36,239 --> 00:01:37,959
And I was in love with him.
37
00:01:38,000 --> 00:01:40,000
You loved him?
No, I loved him.
38
00:01:40,040 --> 00:01:41,959
He was the love of my life.
39
00:01:42,000 --> 00:01:44,360
Basically, I think it was
the first day of sixth class,
40
00:01:44,400 --> 00:01:47,680
I came home and my parents had
41
00:01:47,720 --> 00:01:50,519
stripped the wallpaper
and painted my room as a surprise.
42
00:01:50,559 --> 00:01:53,639
No. Yes!
I cried for like a whole week.
43
00:01:53,680 --> 00:01:55,599
It was so sad.
44
00:01:55,639 --> 00:01:59,800
(inhales) I've actually
never told anyone... before.
45
00:02:03,239 --> 00:02:05,599
(exhales)
Was...
46
00:02:05,639 --> 00:02:06,839
this him?
47
00:02:07,760 --> 00:02:09,239
Oh, my God.
My fox.
48
00:02:10,080 --> 00:02:12,199
My boy.
How did you find him?
49
00:02:12,239 --> 00:02:15,199
So, yeah, this is genuinely
the only thing I'm good doing.
50
00:02:15,239 --> 00:02:16,919
That's not true.
51
00:02:19,800 --> 00:02:23,080
And like, give me your number,
and I'll send it to you.
52
00:02:25,839 --> 00:02:27,879
Okay.
Yeah, fine.
53
00:02:28,400 --> 00:02:30,599
(phone pings) Oh.
54
00:02:32,559 --> 00:02:35,120
Ehh...
Hey, man, just thinking there.
55
00:02:35,160 --> 00:02:37,480
They should change the name
of newspaper headlines
56
00:02:37,519 --> 00:02:38,800
to newspaper headlies.
57
00:02:38,839 --> 00:02:41,239
They're lying to us.
Wake up.
58
00:02:44,919 --> 00:02:47,000
All right, I should go then.
59
00:02:49,040 --> 00:02:50,239
Okay.
60
00:02:50,720 --> 00:02:52,000
(pot clatters)
61
00:02:56,400 --> 00:02:58,199
I guess we're quits now.
62
00:03:03,760 --> 00:03:06,800
? I hide my shit in the closet...?
63
00:03:11,199 --> 00:03:12,599
I'll save you the time, perv.
64
00:03:12,680 --> 00:03:14,480
9 centimetres, flaccid.
65
00:03:14,559 --> 00:03:16,919
Maybe 11 this time of day.
66
00:03:17,000 --> 00:03:18,800
Maybe.
162 centimetres.
67
00:03:19,680 --> 00:03:21,959
Hey, how's your foot?
68
00:03:22,000 --> 00:03:24,400
Yeah, I think you're right.
It's just bruised.
69
00:03:24,440 --> 00:03:28,080
The plushy doggy head
took most of the damage.
70
00:03:28,120 --> 00:03:30,480
How's the company going?
Ehh...
71
00:03:31,839 --> 00:03:33,000
Yeah, solid gold.
72
00:03:33,519 --> 00:03:34,959
What are you doing in my room?
73
00:03:35,000 --> 00:03:38,879
Do you know the way it's
been feeling a bit cramped in here lately?
74
00:03:38,919 --> 00:03:40,839
Jack's here too much, all right?
75
00:03:40,879 --> 00:03:43,720
Well, it's going to get a whole lot
smaller when the little one arrives.
76
00:03:43,760 --> 00:03:46,360
What are you- No.
(phone ringing)
77
00:03:47,199 --> 00:03:48,959
Sorry, yeah, I know.
78
00:03:49,000 --> 00:03:51,440
Hello. Oh my God!
You're pregnant!
79
00:03:51,480 --> 00:03:54,639
Yeah. Oh! Yeah! Oh.
80
00:03:54,680 --> 00:03:58,160
We're going to wait to tell you
until after the baby, but I mean...
81
00:03:58,199 --> 00:03:59,919
Sorry.
(PHONE) Hey, can you hear me?
82
00:03:59,959 --> 00:04:01,239
Hey, are you there or not?
83
00:04:01,279 --> 00:04:03,120
Yeah, I'm here.
4837.
84
00:04:03,160 --> 00:04:04,800
Anyway, I was like,
you're cancelling the gig?
85
00:04:04,839 --> 00:04:06,279
And he says, no,
I've been cancelled.
86
00:04:06,319 --> 00:04:09,400
Apparently, he was putting
on the accent the whole time.
87
00:04:09,440 --> 00:04:13,919
So with the laughing Pakistani gone,
I need you to do 40 minutes instead of 15.
88
00:04:13,959 --> 00:04:16,639
So it'll be banter builder,
then you.
89
00:04:16,680 --> 00:04:18,319
Talk later, slack. (laughing)
90
00:04:18,360 --> 00:04:21,000
(groaning) You guys
gotta do that later. I got to write right now, okay?
91
00:04:21,040 --> 00:04:23,360
Don't you have a psychiatrist
appointment in 20 minutes?
92
00:04:23,400 --> 00:04:24,400
Fuck!
93
00:04:27,400 --> 00:04:28,599
Christ.
94
00:04:29,199 --> 00:04:30,760
It's 406 centimetres.
95
00:04:30,800 --> 00:04:32,720
(clock ticks)
96
00:04:37,160 --> 00:04:38,319
(exhales heavy)
97
00:04:44,800 --> 00:04:46,199
Sorry.
98
00:04:51,440 --> 00:04:52,800
Monkey.
No.
99
00:04:54,120 --> 00:04:55,599
So I'm going to keep this brief.
100
00:04:55,639 --> 00:04:57,199
I had a look through
your questionnaire,
101
00:04:57,239 --> 00:05:00,199
and I think I can safely say
without a shadow of a doubt
102
00:05:00,239 --> 00:05:01,800
that you
103
00:05:01,839 --> 00:05:04,400
don't have ADHD.
104
00:05:04,760 --> 00:05:08,480
Now, I understand you
have concerns and
105
00:05:08,519 --> 00:05:10,559
face difficulties, but...
106
00:05:11,360 --> 00:05:13,000
I mean, so does everybody.
107
00:05:13,839 --> 00:05:19,199
And your behaviour regarding
managing time or maintaining focus
108
00:05:19,239 --> 00:05:22,559
likely stems from where
you place your value.
109
00:05:22,599 --> 00:05:23,839
Okay?
110
00:05:23,879 --> 00:05:26,639
I mean, there's nothing
wrong with somebody who wants to spend all morning
111
00:05:26,680 --> 00:05:29,839
frittering away their time on the
phone, doomscrolling TikTok
112
00:05:29,879 --> 00:05:31,919
while sitting on the toilet
until your legs go numb.
113
00:05:31,959 --> 00:05:34,959
But I mean, I can't then
give you a medical excuse
114
00:05:35,000 --> 00:05:37,040
as to why you missed the bus.
115
00:05:37,080 --> 00:05:38,360
Okay?
116
00:05:40,040 --> 00:05:42,599
I mean, we all do things
that don't interest us.
117
00:05:42,639 --> 00:05:45,279
That's just life, unfortunately.
118
00:05:47,400 --> 00:05:48,400
Okay.
119
00:05:48,440 --> 00:05:50,919
Well, thank you for that, Richard.
120
00:05:50,959 --> 00:05:52,720
We won't keep you.
121
00:05:55,120 --> 00:05:59,239
Have you tried going for long walks
or maybe getting a calendar app?
122
00:05:59,279 --> 00:06:02,879
Or maybe just try not being such
a fucking loser all the time?
123
00:06:02,919 --> 00:06:04,879
? (electronic music)
124
00:06:10,000 --> 00:06:13,839
There he is.
How's it going? Hey, man.
125
00:06:13,879 --> 00:06:17,919
Great to finally meet the
slag that squirted all those punters in the door.
126
00:06:17,959 --> 00:06:19,319
Aw-haw... Rotten.
127
00:06:19,360 --> 00:06:22,360
So look, I've decided that tonight,
it's just yourself.
128
00:06:22,400 --> 00:06:24,720
You're headlining.
What?
129
00:06:24,760 --> 00:06:28,559
Why? Mate, listen.
(muffled cheers)
130
00:06:28,599 --> 00:06:32,559
They're all here to see you.
I've never seen anything like it.
131
00:06:32,599 --> 00:06:34,559
That's why.
132
00:06:34,599 --> 00:06:37,000
Also, the banter builders
after getting cancelled.
133
00:06:37,040 --> 00:06:38,760
Something about a
bichon fris� fighting ring.
134
00:06:38,800 --> 00:06:41,160
To be honest with you, I'm not even
sure he's a licenced tradesman.
135
00:06:41,199 --> 00:06:43,120
Headlining?
I've to go.
136
00:06:45,599 --> 00:06:46,599
Okay.
137
00:06:50,879 --> 00:06:52,199
I got this.
138
00:06:52,239 --> 00:06:53,639
Okay.
139
00:06:53,720 --> 00:06:55,120
HA! Okay.
140
00:06:55,199 --> 00:06:56,319
I got this.
141
00:06:58,639 --> 00:07:01,279
(low thudding)
CROWD: Whoaaaaaaa!
142
00:07:06,000 --> 00:07:08,080
Waa-ha-ha-hoo!
143
00:07:08,120 --> 00:07:10,080
(crowd screaming)
Yeah!
144
00:07:10,120 --> 00:07:14,080
Well, thank you so much for coming
out to the Woke Shop tonight.
145
00:07:14,120 --> 00:07:17,080
CROWD: Yeaaaah!
146
00:07:17,120 --> 00:07:19,959
(grunting yell)
147
00:07:20,000 --> 00:07:23,519
The only place where you
can't say anything wrong.
148
00:07:23,559 --> 00:07:25,879
(crowd shout and clap)
149
00:07:25,919 --> 00:07:30,120
OHHH! What else,
what else is going on?
150
00:07:30,160 --> 00:07:33,599
(shallow breathing)
I got myself one of those
151
00:07:33,639 --> 00:07:36,400
real dolls in the sex shop.
152
00:07:36,440 --> 00:07:39,400
(crowd cheer)
Oh and fellas,
153
00:07:39,440 --> 00:07:42,360
I think I'm in love.
(crowd cheer)
154
00:07:42,400 --> 00:07:45,480
Whoa! Real wife material,
you know what I mean?
155
00:07:45,519 --> 00:07:49,319
(rowdy cheers)
Amazing body.
156
00:07:49,360 --> 00:07:51,839
Great ass.
CROWD: Yeah!
157
00:07:51,879 --> 00:07:55,040
(exhales) But best of all lads,
get close...
158
00:07:55,080 --> 00:07:57,160
Get close...
(shallow breathing)
159
00:07:58,440 --> 00:08:00,480
No voice. HA!
160
00:08:00,519 --> 00:08:02,800
(rowdy cheering and shouting)
161
00:08:02,839 --> 00:08:06,319
Yeah-haaaaaa!
162
00:08:06,360 --> 00:08:11,639
Oh! I'm only Joe Kane. Wooo!
(crowd cheer)
163
00:08:11,680 --> 00:08:15,400
(growling) Lads, are yous ready for
your first act of the night?
164
00:08:15,440 --> 00:08:16,440
CROWD: Yeah!
165
00:08:16,480 --> 00:08:21,160
Oh, making his Woke Shop debut,
please give a warm welcome
166
00:08:21,199 --> 00:08:23,480
to the English Mammy.
167
00:08:23,519 --> 00:08:26,080
(rowdy cheers)
168
00:08:27,239 --> 00:08:28,839
Just go with it.
169
00:08:28,879 --> 00:08:30,919
(cheering and applause continue)
170
00:08:42,959 --> 00:08:45,199
(audience settle)
171
00:08:48,480 --> 00:08:49,680
(mic feedback)
172
00:08:52,199 --> 00:08:55,480
(accent) Whooo...
(crowd cheer)
173
00:08:59,400 --> 00:09:04,360
Who left the bloody immersion on?
(rowdy cheers)
174
00:09:06,279 --> 00:09:10,239
Well, don't make me get
that wooden spoon.
175
00:09:10,279 --> 00:09:12,440
CROWD: Ooohhh. (cheering)
176
00:09:12,480 --> 00:09:14,800
Wanking is mad, isn't it?
177
00:09:14,839 --> 00:09:18,800
CROWD: YEAAAH!
(laughter and cheering)
178
00:09:24,519 --> 00:09:26,919
Here we go.
Last one.
179
00:09:26,959 --> 00:09:28,959
Oh. What's it going to be?
180
00:09:29,000 --> 00:09:32,720
Is this one plain or spicy?
181
00:09:32,760 --> 00:09:36,120
CROWD: Spicy, it's spicy!
182
00:09:36,160 --> 00:09:39,040
That's right, it's spicy.
183
00:09:39,080 --> 00:09:41,879
(crowd 'woo')
184
00:09:41,919 --> 00:09:43,559
CROWD: Yeah! (clapping)
185
00:09:43,599 --> 00:09:45,559
If that one seemed spicy for you,
186
00:09:45,599 --> 00:09:48,360
I've got something might
sell your stomach.
187
00:09:48,400 --> 00:09:49,919
(rowdy cheering)
188
00:09:49,959 --> 00:09:54,879
? I am gettin' so hot,
I wanna take my clothes off...?
189
00:09:54,919 --> 00:09:57,080
Flat 7Up.
190
00:09:57,120 --> 00:10:00,040
(crowd yell and cheer)
191
00:10:02,040 --> 00:10:04,680
(cheering)
192
00:10:10,199 --> 00:10:13,279
Sl�n abhaile, you slags.
193
00:10:13,319 --> 00:10:16,800
CROWD: (chanting) Mammy! Mammy!
Mammy! Mammy! Mammy!
194
00:10:18,480 --> 00:10:21,279
Thank you so much. Thanks, guys.
195
00:10:21,319 --> 00:10:23,400
(chanting continues)
196
00:10:23,440 --> 00:10:26,120
(laughing) Thank you.
197
00:10:32,519 --> 00:10:36,879
You fucking killed it.
Oh, Joe, man. Thank you so much.
198
00:10:36,919 --> 00:10:40,040
I really appreciate. All
that dirty old bitch stuff.
199
00:10:40,080 --> 00:10:45,440
Mate... So fucking trash.
No, no, man. It's satire.
200
00:10:45,480 --> 00:10:49,680
It's the anti-broad comedy like
Mrs. Brown's- Whatever.
201
00:10:49,720 --> 00:10:55,239
Mate. I've never seen
'em laugh like that.
202
00:10:55,279 --> 00:10:57,360
Doing Gangbusters on
the live stream too. No.
203
00:10:57,400 --> 00:10:59,760
Oh, God. Oh, God.
204
00:10:59,800 --> 00:11:02,279
(maniacal laugh) Oh, he's made it.
205
00:11:02,319 --> 00:11:06,599
Keep doing that geriatric slut shit,
and we are going to make millions.
206
00:11:06,639 --> 00:11:09,800
Ohh... I have to go.
207
00:11:11,120 --> 00:11:12,559
There he is.
Hey.
208
00:11:12,599 --> 00:11:13,760
Hey.
Man, they loved it.
209
00:11:13,800 --> 00:11:15,800
What did you guys think?
210
00:11:15,839 --> 00:11:18,559
I didn't know that's what
you thought was funny.
211
00:11:18,599 --> 00:11:22,120
It's satire.
I don't know, dude.
212
00:11:22,160 --> 00:11:24,360
What did you think, Rebecca?
213
00:11:24,400 --> 00:11:26,400
That was awful. Oh.
214
00:11:26,440 --> 00:11:28,319
You're not who I thought you were.
215
00:11:28,360 --> 00:11:30,879
You're not funny,
and you're a bad person.
216
00:11:30,919 --> 00:11:32,919
? (tense music)
217
00:11:32,959 --> 00:11:34,400
I hate you.
218
00:11:34,440 --> 00:11:36,239
And your arse is on backwards.
219
00:11:38,360 --> 00:11:39,919
(screaming)
220
00:11:39,959 --> 00:11:41,919
(all laugh maliciously)
221
00:11:41,959 --> 00:11:45,319
(music, laughter and
screaming continue)
222
00:11:53,959 --> 00:11:56,440
Son. Me and the pirate are lovers.
223
00:11:57,639 --> 00:12:01,040
And it's your hand.
Ahoy!
224
00:12:01,080 --> 00:12:04,000
(music, laughter and
screaming continue)
225
00:12:05,519 --> 00:12:07,440
(screaming)
226
00:12:16,120 --> 00:12:19,239
? I hide my shit in the closet.
227
00:12:19,279 --> 00:12:21,879
? I got some space if you want it.?
228
00:12:21,919 --> 00:12:24,080
That's crazy. That
was crazy dream man.
229
00:12:24,120 --> 00:12:27,160
Hey, you want a...
Whoaaaa. AH! You okay?
230
00:12:27,199 --> 00:12:28,559
Good? Yeah, yeah,
I'm good. Yeah, sorry.
231
00:12:28,599 --> 00:12:29,680
Okay.
Sorry, I had a...
232
00:12:29,720 --> 00:12:31,080
I had a dream
I was shagging a pirate.
233
00:12:31,120 --> 00:12:35,040
Oh, how was the panging?
Yeah, it was good.
234
00:12:35,080 --> 00:12:36,480
Could have done without
him whispering
235
00:12:36,519 --> 00:12:38,800
'arse matey' in my ear.
236
00:12:38,839 --> 00:12:40,199
That means you're
worried about money.
237
00:12:40,239 --> 00:12:42,519
No, it means he's
bisexual or anxious,
238
00:12:42,559 --> 00:12:43,919
actually,
about the big gig.
239
00:12:43,959 --> 00:12:45,800
How's the prep going?
Um...
240
00:12:48,319 --> 00:12:49,360
I'm actually...
241
00:12:50,400 --> 00:12:52,319
not gonna do the gig.
242
00:12:53,680 --> 00:12:57,080
(exhales) Oh my God, thank God.
Jesus Christ, Oh my God.
243
00:12:57,120 --> 00:12:58,919
I've been so worried all week.
244
00:12:58,959 --> 00:13:02,519
He's insane! I was so sick all
week thinking about it, honestly.
245
00:13:02,559 --> 00:13:05,480
He's one of these podcast bro guys.
What the fuck are even going to say up there?
246
00:13:05,519 --> 00:13:07,360
But you were still going to go?
247
00:13:07,400 --> 00:13:08,440
Yeah, of course.
248
00:13:08,480 --> 00:13:10,559
It was important to you.
She was going to make me come, so.
249
00:13:10,599 --> 00:13:13,480
Ahh! Oh, right. Yes. Yeah.
250
00:13:13,519 --> 00:13:16,040
He said come there.
Yeah, he did.
251
00:13:16,559 --> 00:13:18,040
I'm still going to do
something tonight, though.
252
00:13:18,080 --> 00:13:20,400
Oh, cool.
I'll text you about it later.
253
00:13:20,440 --> 00:13:21,800
Okay. Great.
254
00:13:21,839 --> 00:13:23,680
Great.
Cool.
255
00:13:23,720 --> 00:13:26,919
You have still got that psychiatrist
appointment at 11:00, by the way,
256
00:13:26,959 --> 00:13:29,360
so maybe leave about 10:00.
Thank you.
257
00:13:29,400 --> 00:13:30,760
Hey.
258
00:13:31,400 --> 00:13:32,400
Proud of you.
259
00:13:41,519 --> 00:13:43,839
It's only 9:00 AM.
260
00:13:45,120 --> 00:13:48,160
So look, this isn't a proper
consultation.
261
00:13:48,199 --> 00:13:51,239
The backlog for assessment is huge.
262
00:13:51,279 --> 00:13:53,760
You could be waiting anything
from 6 months to a year
263
00:13:53,800 --> 00:13:56,639
before I could
properly diagnose you.
264
00:13:58,519 --> 00:14:03,279
However, based on your questionnaire
265
00:14:03,319 --> 00:14:09,160
and the observer report that your
childhood friend, Lauren filled out,
266
00:14:10,839 --> 00:14:15,720
I think it is likely
that you have ADHD.
267
00:14:16,440 --> 00:14:19,559
And have shown symptoms
stemming from childhood.
268
00:14:20,959 --> 00:14:24,680
Now, it's going to be a while
before I can say that officially,
269
00:14:24,720 --> 00:14:27,160
and even longer before
we can look at treatment.
270
00:14:27,199 --> 00:14:32,040
But I just thought you might
like to know just where we're at.
271
00:14:32,080 --> 00:14:33,440
Okay?
272
00:14:33,480 --> 00:14:35,440
? (low atmospheric music)
273
00:14:38,080 --> 00:14:40,959
Okay, so you're on the waitlist,
and he said if there's any
274
00:14:41,000 --> 00:14:43,040
cancellations, he'll let us know.
275
00:14:43,080 --> 00:14:44,440
Cool.
276
00:14:45,839 --> 00:14:47,760
Thanks, Mam.
Sorry.
277
00:14:47,800 --> 00:14:49,839
Sorry, I know you hate that.
278
00:14:56,839 --> 00:14:57,839
Good boy.
279
00:14:57,879 --> 00:15:12,040
??
280
00:15:12,080 --> 00:15:13,559
(dial tone)
281
00:15:13,599 --> 00:15:16,239
Oh-ho, the big English
granny herself.
282
00:15:16,279 --> 00:15:17,639
Eh, Joe, I need
to cancel tonight.
283
00:15:17,680 --> 00:15:18,919
You've been cancelled too?
284
00:15:18,959 --> 00:15:20,480
Fuck me.
285
00:15:20,519 --> 00:15:22,879
Just had the same call
from the laughing Pakistani.
286
00:15:22,919 --> 00:15:24,120
The left have taken up arms.
287
00:15:24,160 --> 00:15:26,839
We will not go gentle
until that good night.
288
00:15:26,879 --> 00:15:29,760
No, no, I'm cancelling the gig.
289
00:15:29,800 --> 00:15:33,279
And I'm not only Joe Kane, brother.
290
00:15:33,319 --> 00:15:35,760
It's just not my kinda gig.
291
00:15:35,800 --> 00:15:38,120
Those lips must have some
serious shit on you, mate.
292
00:15:38,160 --> 00:15:39,239
Say no more.
293
00:15:39,279 --> 00:15:41,400
We'll have you back home
when this blows over.
294
00:15:41,440 --> 00:15:43,959
While I have you, I'm still
funding a company pilot about
295
00:15:44,000 --> 00:15:47,440
an Irish couple who moved next
door to a family of foreigners.
296
00:15:47,480 --> 00:15:50,760
It's called uncle and
auntie immigration. We're currently at 140...
297
00:15:50,800 --> 00:15:53,040
(call end tone) Oh, Jesus Christ.
298
00:16:03,639 --> 00:16:05,239
I gotta do a gig now.
299
00:16:06,000 --> 00:16:09,839
I gotta do a gig. Jokes.
What's the deal with dog shoes?
300
00:16:09,879 --> 00:16:21,800
??
301
00:16:21,839 --> 00:16:24,480
(low chatter)
302
00:16:25,680 --> 00:16:27,599
(laughter)
303
00:16:28,400 --> 00:16:30,400
Hey! C'mere!
304
00:16:32,480 --> 00:16:34,879
Ooooh. (laughing)
305
00:16:34,919 --> 00:16:36,760
How you feeling?
Pwah. Really?
306
00:16:36,800 --> 00:16:40,120
Oh. Got you zero, so you nail it.
307
00:16:41,440 --> 00:16:44,000
Aww. Thanks, man.
308
00:16:44,040 --> 00:16:45,559
Wait, hang on. Cheers.
Ah.
309
00:16:45,599 --> 00:16:48,279
ALL: (goofy voices) Cheers.
310
00:16:49,879 --> 00:16:52,279
You drinking water? What, are
you on antibiotics or something?
311
00:16:52,319 --> 00:16:54,599
No, I'm pregnant and it's his cum.
312
00:17:00,040 --> 00:17:02,040
(she laughs)
Lauren!
313
00:17:02,080 --> 00:17:04,160
Lauren!
314
00:17:04,199 --> 00:17:05,959
Sorry, you're going to shake
it out. You're an idiot.
315
00:17:06,000 --> 00:17:07,400
I'm so happy for you guys.
316
00:17:07,440 --> 00:17:09,519
I know you guys have been trying.
Thank you.
317
00:17:09,559 --> 00:17:13,080
Because the walls are
super fucking thin. Oh, fuck off.
318
00:17:13,120 --> 00:17:14,839
How do you want me to intro you?
319
00:17:14,879 --> 00:17:18,239
Oh, em... Em, just as me.
320
00:17:18,279 --> 00:17:20,480
Just as you. Okay.
321
00:17:20,519 --> 00:17:22,199
He's brilliant.
322
00:17:22,239 --> 00:17:25,720
(cheers and applause) Thank you,
thank you, thank you for the intro.
323
00:17:25,760 --> 00:17:27,680
Welcome back to Rental.
Did you all have a nice break?
324
00:17:27,720 --> 00:17:30,400
CROWD: Yeah!
These two ladies definitely enjoyed the break.
325
00:17:30,440 --> 00:17:33,319
See the old sneachta
in the nose there?
326
00:17:33,360 --> 00:17:35,519
You don't get it?
That's the Irish word for snow.
327
00:17:35,559 --> 00:17:38,319
(laughter) Ohhh. Oh!
328
00:17:38,360 --> 00:17:42,000
Remember that? I don't think
I'm gonna do that tonight.
329
00:17:42,040 --> 00:17:46,000
The next act, very exciting,
actually, is not just his debut here at Silly Billy,
330
00:17:46,040 --> 00:17:48,519
it's his debut stand-up
comedy ever, ever, ever.
331
00:17:48,559 --> 00:17:50,680
(cheers)
So let's get a bit of energy going.
332
00:17:50,720 --> 00:17:53,680
Sneachta ladies,
all the rest, all the rest.
333
00:17:53,720 --> 00:17:57,959
(cheers and applause) Please
welcome to the stage, eh, this guy.
334
00:17:58,000 --> 00:18:00,279
Aw. I really should
have said my name.
335
00:18:00,319 --> 00:18:03,239
(cheers and applause)
336
00:18:14,599 --> 00:18:17,879
Irish weather's mad isn't it,
it's weird.
337
00:18:17,919 --> 00:18:20,279
So today was really warm.
338
00:18:20,319 --> 00:18:24,440
I wasn't expecting it to be.
And the air was really muggy.
339
00:18:24,480 --> 00:18:28,160
In fact, it was so muggy,
I almost gave it my wallet.
340
00:18:28,199 --> 00:18:29,959
(Lauren laughs)
341
00:18:31,199 --> 00:18:34,480
Thanks, ma'am. No, it's not
my Mam. Ma's not here.
342
00:18:34,519 --> 00:18:38,959
I told her about the gig, she
didn't want to come. Em, it's fine.
343
00:18:39,000 --> 00:18:41,080
No, that's Lauren, my flatmate.
344
00:18:41,120 --> 00:18:42,959
Lauren and Jack, my
flatmates are here.
345
00:18:43,000 --> 00:18:45,519
(scattered 'woos')
346
00:18:45,559 --> 00:18:47,720
Great.
Thank you for the woo.
347
00:18:47,760 --> 00:18:49,800
No, they've been really
nice and supportive to me.
348
00:18:49,839 --> 00:18:52,400
I moved in with them last year
after my divorce,
349
00:18:52,440 --> 00:18:55,480
and they gave
me a great deal.
350
00:18:55,519 --> 00:18:58,199
Cheap rent, but I have
to listen to them ride.
351
00:18:58,239 --> 00:19:00,480
(laughter)
352
00:19:00,519 --> 00:19:01,919
Boo.
353
00:19:01,959 --> 00:19:06,480
No, no. They are full on,
honestly, when they ride.
354
00:19:06,519 --> 00:19:08,199
I was there for the first few months.
355
00:19:08,239 --> 00:19:10,599
I thought there was a seagull
trapped in the walls.
356
00:19:10,639 --> 00:19:12,839
Sorry about that.
It was very uncomfortable for you.
357
00:19:12,879 --> 00:19:17,239
No, but getting back out there has
been really interesting and fun.
358
00:19:17,279 --> 00:19:18,919
And I was seeing this girl
359
00:19:18,959 --> 00:19:21,000
and we went on a date and
it was all going really nice.
360
00:19:21,040 --> 00:19:26,360
And then at the end of the date,
she ran over my foot with her car.
361
00:19:26,400 --> 00:19:32,040
And let me tell you, the next
morning, boy, were my dogs barking.
362
00:19:34,080 --> 00:19:39,400
Fuck. I forgot to, sorry, I forgot to
say that the shoes had dogs on them.
363
00:19:39,440 --> 00:19:41,760
They were like designer
shoes I got in my last job.
364
00:19:42,319 --> 00:19:43,400
It doesn't matter.
365
00:19:45,720 --> 00:19:47,599
Yeah, I think that's my time.
366
00:19:47,639 --> 00:19:51,279
Eh, thank you so much.
(cheers and applause)
367
00:19:57,160 --> 00:20:00,160
Not bad at all, right?
Yeah, pretty good.
368
00:20:00,199 --> 00:20:02,760
It was so good.
You weren't shit.!
369
00:20:02,800 --> 00:20:04,919
Thank you.
That's exactly what I was going for.
370
00:20:04,959 --> 00:20:09,440
For God's sake. What do you feel?
I don't know. I really want to do it again.
371
00:20:09,480 --> 00:20:13,279
You're a natural like.
You were genuinely like so, like you were in it.
372
00:20:13,319 --> 00:20:15,400
Yeah. It's like you've been
doing it for years.
373
00:20:15,440 --> 00:20:17,959
Don't tell- Hey, hey, hey.
Shut up, please.
374
00:20:18,000 --> 00:20:20,279
Thank you very much.
(laughing) You know.
375
00:20:20,319 --> 00:20:22,919
Listen, we are going to
have another act going on
376
00:20:22,959 --> 00:20:24,160
and I'm very excited about it.
377
00:20:24,199 --> 00:20:26,000
I know that you're all
here for the same reason.
378
00:20:26,040 --> 00:20:27,279
All right, this is it.
379
00:20:27,319 --> 00:20:29,959
I'm going to bring up the next act
and I want you to give... (dialogue fades)
380
00:20:30,000 --> 00:20:32,120
? (pensive music)
381
00:20:32,160 --> 00:20:34,160
You know her, you love her.
382
00:20:34,199 --> 00:20:36,879
Will you please welcome back
to the Silly Billy stage,
383
00:20:36,919 --> 00:20:40,839
Becky Warhol.
(cheers and applause)
384
00:20:44,839 --> 00:20:46,639
Thank you so much.
385
00:20:46,680 --> 00:20:50,919
It's been a bit of a shit
week till I got here.
386
00:20:51,000 --> 00:20:54,279
But then when I was arriving, some
old guy outside told me to smile
387
00:20:54,319 --> 00:20:56,360
more and just completely
turned it around.
388
00:20:56,400 --> 00:20:58,760
(audience laugh)
It was amazing.
389
00:20:58,800 --> 00:21:01,480
Yeah, it's been a rough time.
390
00:21:01,519 --> 00:21:04,239
My sister, who's my best friend,
she just moved to Australia.
391
00:21:04,279 --> 00:21:06,239
So eh... Yeah.
CROWD: Aww.
392
00:21:06,279 --> 00:21:09,239
It's pretty tough finding out
your sister is a basic bitch.
393
00:21:09,279 --> 00:21:11,559
(laughter)
394
00:21:11,599 --> 00:21:14,319
I did meet this new lad, actually.
395
00:21:14,360 --> 00:21:16,599
CROWD: Wooo.
Yeah, thanks.
396
00:21:16,639 --> 00:21:20,000
He took me to an automatic
car wash for our first date.
397
00:21:20,040 --> 00:21:22,080
Romance is not dead.
398
00:21:22,120 --> 00:21:26,199
And there's no joke here. He
opened the window halfway through.
399
00:21:26,239 --> 00:21:28,160
I shit you not.
400
00:21:28,199 --> 00:21:32,440
I just sat there Sir, if this
is your idea of getting me wet...
401
00:21:32,480 --> 00:21:34,839
(laughter and cheers)
402
00:21:34,879 --> 00:21:36,639
Yeah, he's good material, though.
403
00:21:36,680 --> 00:21:45,760
??
404
00:21:45,800 --> 00:21:48,319
Will I go on one more date
and let you know how it goes?
405
00:21:48,360 --> 00:21:50,279
(crowd woo)
406
00:21:50,319 --> 00:21:52,239
Yeah, I don't know.
Ah, please.
407
00:21:52,279 --> 00:21:54,559
Shut the fuck up.
Sorry.
408
00:21:54,599 --> 00:21:56,360
Sorry, everyone.
Sorry about that.
409
00:21:56,800 --> 00:21:57,879
Sorry about that.
410
00:21:57,919 --> 00:21:59,559
Go on.
411
00:21:59,599 --> 00:22:06,879
? Standing in the door of the Pink
Flamingo, crying in the rain.
412
00:22:09,480 --> 00:22:13,919
? It was a kind of
so so love, and I'm
413
00:22:13,959 --> 00:22:18,760
? gonna make sure
it never happens again.
414
00:22:18,800 --> 00:22:22,680
? You and I, it had to be
415
00:22:22,720 --> 00:22:28,120
? the standing joke of the year.
416
00:22:28,160 --> 00:22:30,760
? You were a sleep around,
417
00:22:30,800 --> 00:22:37,360
? lost and found,
and not for me, I fear.?
418
00:22:37,410 --> 00:22:41,960
Repair and Synchronization by
Easy Subtitles Synchronizer 1.0.0.0
31194
Can't find what you're looking for?
Get subtitles in any language from opensubtitles.com, and translate them here.
Afrikaans
Akan
Albanian
Amharic
Armenian
Azerbaijani
Basque
Belarusian
Bemba
Bengali
Bihari
Bosnian
Breton
Bulgarian
Cambodian
Catalan
Cebuano
Cherokee
Chichewa
Chinese (Simplified)
Chinese (Traditional)
Corsican
Croatian
Czech
Danish
English
Esperanto
Estonian
Faroese
Finnish
Frisian
Galician
Georgian
German
Greek
Guarani
Haitian Creole
Hausa
Hawaiian
Hebrew
Hmong
Hungarian
Icelandic
Indonesian
Irish
Italian
Japanese
Kazakh
Kinyarwanda
Kirundi
Kongo
Korean
Krio (Sierra Leone)
Kurdish
Kyrgyz
Laothian
Latin
Latvian
Lithuanian
Luganda
Luo
Luxembourgish
Macedonian
Malagasy
Malay
Maltese
Maori
Mauritian Creole
Moldavian
Mongolian
Myanmar (Burmese)
Montenegrin
Nepali
Norwegian
Pashto
Persian
Portuguese (Brazil)
Portuguese (Portugal)
Quechua
Romanian
Romansh
Russian
Samoan
Scots Gaelic
Serbian
Sesotho
Setswana
Seychellois Creole
Shona
Sindhi
Sinhalese
Slovak
Slovenian
Somali
Spanish (Latin American)
Swedish
Tajik
Thai
Tigrinya
Tonga
Turkish
Turkmen
Ukrainian
Uzbek
Vietnamese
Welsh
Wolof