Original subtitles

[ WHISTLING SPRIGHTLY TUNE ]

[ TIRES SCREECH ]

HEY, HEY, GUESS WHAT I JUST HEARD?

WHAT?

I'M THE FIRST ONE TO KNOW. KNOW WHAT?

HE JUST TOLD ME.

THIS BETTER BE GOOD THE WAY YOU'RE DRAGGING IT OUT.

HERB BRADSHAW.

YOU MEAN ABOUT HIM RESIGNING AS HEAD OF CITY COUNCIL.

HOW'D YOU KNOW THAT?

IT WAS IN THE PAPER THIS MORNING.

WELL, I WAS THE ONE THAT GOT IT FROM HIM DIRECT.

YOU CAN'T BLAME HIM FOR MOVING AWAY.

AN OFFER LIKE THAT --

HEAD TELLER OF THE RALEIGH SECURITY BANK.

YEAH. A JOB LIKE THAT, THE WORLD'S YOUR OYSTER.

WHAT?

JUST AN EXPRESSION, GOOB.

BOY, THEY'RE SURE COMING UP WITH SOME CRAZY ONES.

HERB DID A LOT

FOR MAYBERRY, ALL RIGHT.

WELL, YES AND NO.

HERB ALWAYS HAD HIS FAVORITES.

IF THERE WAS ANY PATRONAGE TO BE HANDED OUT,

YOU'D ALWAYS KNOW WHERE IT WAS GOING TO GO--

TO HIS CRONIES.

LOOK, IN POLITICS

SOMETIMES YOU GOT TO DO THAT.

ONE HAND WASHES THE OTHER.

NO, I'M SORRY, EMMETT,

I DON'T SUBSCRIBE TO THAT POINT OF VIEW.

A PUBLIC OFFICIAL SHOULD DO THE GREATEST GOOD

FOR THE GREATEST NUMBER.

WELL, DON'T OFTEN WORK OUT THAT WAY.

I WONDER WHO WILL REPLACE HERB.

YOU KNOW, THAT'S SOMETHING

WE OUGHT TO GIVE A LOT OF THOUGHT TO.

WE, HERE, AS A GROUP, HAVE ALWAYS BEEN

A MOVING FORCE IN MAYBERRY GOVERNMENT.

HEY, HEY, HOWARD, I GOT IT.

I GOT IT.

HOW ABOUT YOU RUNNING?

THANKS FOR THE ACCOLADE, GOOB.

THAT'S OKAY.

NO, NO, I'VE GOT A 9:00 TO 5:00 JOB

AND HEAD OF CITY COUNCIL

CAN'T BE QUITE THAT RESTRICTED.

TAKE A LOT OF WORK HOME, TOO.

YOU'RE IN AN EVEN TOUGHER SPOT, AREN'T YOU, ANDY?

YEAH.

MINE'S 24 HOURS A DAY.

WONDER WHO MIGHT BE AVAILABLE?

I THINK THE FIRST THING WE OUGHT TO TRY TO DO

IS PINPOINT THE TYPE OF MAN WE'RE LOOKING FOR.

HEY, THAT'S A GOOD IDEA.

PERSONALLY, I ALWAYS THOUGHT

THAT THE FIRST QUALIFICATION A MAN SHOULD HAVE

FOR HEAD OF CITY COUNCIL

IS THAT HE BE FORCEFUL, AGGRESSIVE.

YOU KNOW, A MAN WHO HAS THE COURAGE OF HIS CONVICTIONS

AND CAN IMPLEMENT THEM

WITH HIS OWN DYNAMIC PERSONALITY.

Goober: WELL, I'LL GO ALONG WITH THAT, HOWARD.

Howard: A MAN WHO KNOWS RIGHT FROM WRONG.

Goober: YEAH.

Howard: A MAN WHO CAN CONVINCE THE PEOPLE

THAT HE'S THEIR LEADER.

Goober: WELL, I'LL GO ALONG WITH THAT, TOO.

Andy: YEAH, WE COULD USE A FELLA LIKE THAT.

Howard: YEAH, BUT WE HAVE TO BEAR IN MIND

THAT WE DON'T WANT ANYONE WHO CAN'T GET ALONG WITH PEOPLE.

HE HAS TO BE SOMEONE THAT THE PEOPLE LIKE.

Andy: YEAH, PEOPLE GOT TO LIKE HIM.

Howard: ...BE ABLE TO GET ALONG.

AND BE RESPECTED BY BOTH YOUNG AND OLD.

Goober: WELL, THAT'S THE KIND OF MAN ALL RIGHT.

Andy: IF YOU CAN FIND ONE.

AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST

A MAN WHO'S A REAL SOLID CITIZEN.

HOWARD, HE'S OBVIOUSLY GOT TO BE THAT.

Howard: ANDY, I MEAN A MAN WHOSE SERVICE TO THE COMMUNITY

IS UPPERMOST IN HIS MIND.

A REAL PATRIOT.

WELL, IT'S ALL WELL AND GOOD

TO HOPE FOR A MAN LIKE THAT,

BUT WHERE ARE YOU GOING TO FIND HIM?

I'LL TELL YOU WHERE YOU'LL FIND HIM.

WHERE?

EMMETT, YOU'RE GOING TO GET YOUR HAT ALL DIRTY.

LEAVE IT THERE!

I'M THROWING MY HAT IN THE RING.

YOU'RE WHAT?!

THAT'S RIGHT, ANDY.

I THINK IT'S A MAN'S DUTY

TO SERVE WHEN HE'S CALLED.

WELL, WHO CALLED YOU?

I'M GOING OVER TO THE TOWN HALL

AND FILE MY NAME FOR THIS ELECTION.

EMMETT, HEAD OF CITY COUNCIL?

IT IS KIND OF FRIGHTENING, ISN'T IT?

HE DOESN'T HAVE THE BACKGROUND OR ANYTHING.

MAYBE WE OUGHT TO HAVE A CAUCUS

AND DO SOMETHING ABOUT THIS.

WELL, THERE'S NOTHING WE CAN DO

TO KEEP HIM FROM RUNNING,

BUT WE JUST GOT TO MAKE SURE

WE CAN COME UP WITH SOMEBODY WHO CAN BEAT HIM.

WHY DON'T WE HAVE A LITTLE MEETING

AT MY HOUSE TONIGHT?

AUNT BEE WILL BE THERE AND EVERYTHING.

SHE CAN GIVE US HER SLANT ON THE WOMEN'S VOTE.

THAT'S A GOOD IDEA. I'LL SEE YOU.

WE'LL SEE YOU. GIVE ME THAT.

SEE YOU LATER, GOOB.

Opie: HI, GOOB.

OPE, WANT TO HEAR SOME BIG NEWS? WHAT?

MR. BRADSHAW'S RESIGNING AS HEAD OF THE CITY COUNCIL.

I KNOW. KIDS HAVE BEEN TALKING ABOUT IT

SINCE YESTERDAY.

WELL, THEN, WE'RE ALL AGREED THAT EMMETT'S NOT THE MAN.

YEAH. HE'S A NICE FELLA, AND HE'S A GOOD FRIEND,

BUT WE CAN'T MIX FRIENDSHIP AND GOVERNMENT.

EXACTLY. AND AS HEAD OF THE GARDEN CLUB --

NOW, I'M SPEAKING UNOFFICIALLY, OF COURSE --

BUT I'M CERTAIN THE LADIES

WOULD NEVER CONSIDER EMMETT COUNCIL TIMBRE.

THE ONE TIME HE HELD OFFICE OF ANY KIND AT ALL,

HE WAS IN CHARGE

OF THE "PATRONIZE YOUR LOCAL MERCHANT" CAMPAIGN.

IT WAS THE ONLY TIME MAYBERRY'S EVER HAD A SLUMP.

YEAH, I REMEMBER.

AND HE AIN'T COOL-HEADED ENOUGH, NEITHER,

THE WAY HE BLOWS UP IN THAT FIX-IT SHOP.

YOU OUGHT TO HAVE HEARD HIM SCREAMING AT MY COFFEE POT

THE LAST TIME HE TRIED TO FIX IT.

WE'LL JUST HAVE TO THINK OF SOMEBODY ELSE.

WE DON'T WANT ANYBODY WHO'S PART OF THAT BRADSHAW MACHINE.

NO, DEFINITELY NOT. FAVORITISM MUST GO.

WELL, ANYBODY GOT ANY IDEAS.

WELL, YES, AS A MATTER OF FACT.

I'VE BEEN GOING OVER IT ALL MORNING,

AND THERE'S ONE NAME THAT'S A REAL STANDOUT --

A MAN WHO'S DONE HIS SHARE FOR THE COMMUNITY.

HE'S SOLID AND A REAL HARD WORKER --

SAM JONES. HEY!

NOW, SAM JONES IS A GOOD IDEA.

OH, YES, HE'S BEEN A BIG FORCE ON THE SCHOOL BOARD.

AND HE'S ALWAYS BEEN ACTIVE IN CIVIC AFFAIRS.

YES, AND I CAN PROMISE A GARDEN CLUB PLURALITY.

HE'S A VETERAN, TOO. HE'S GOT A SHARPSHOOTER'S MEDAL.

THAT OUGHT TO DRAW VOTES.

I WONDER IF HE'LL TAKE THE JOB, THOUGH.

HE'S GOT HIS FARM TO RUN.

OH, THE COUNCIL JOB WOULDN'T TAKE UP THAT MUCH TIME.

MAYBE WE OUGHT TO RUN OUT THERE TOMORROW MORNING AND SEE HIM.

I HAVE TO STOP BY THE COURTHOUSE.

HEY, HOWARD, LET'S ME AND YOU GO OUT THERE FIRST

AND SOFTEN HIM UP. HEY, YEAH.

A CERTAIN AMOUNT OF PRECONDITIONING

IS ALWAYS A GOOD TACTICAL MANEUVER.

YOU ALWAYS GOT TO CHANGE MY WORDS, DON'T YOU?

Goober: SAM.

HEY, SAM. HI, HOWARD, GOOB.

WHAT BRINGS YOU OUT THIS WAY?

WHAT BRINGS ANY OF US

OUT TO THIS NECK OF THE WOODS?

TO REMIND OURSELVES

THAT THE BOUNDARIES OF MAYBERRY

GO FAR BEYOND MAIN AND CENTRAL

AND ELM AND MAPLE.

YOU COULD SEE THAT ON A MAP, COULDN'T YOU?

WELL, YEAH, BUT THE THING YOU CAN'T SEE ON THE MAP

IS THE WHOLE THROBBING RURAL AREA

WITH ITS FIELDS OF CORN.

AND LIMA BEANS.

AN AREA WHICH HAS A NEED

FOR GOOD GOVERNMENT,

JUST AS WE DO, WHO LIVE

IN THE VERY HEART OF MAYBERRY.

WELL, I'LL -- I'LL BUY THAT.

UH, WAS THERE SOMETHING SPECIAL

YOU FELLAS WANTED TO TALK TO ME ABOUT?

NOT YET.

DID YOU KNOW THAT GEORGE WASHINGTON

WAS A FARMER?

AND SO WAS THOMAS JEFFERSON.

BUT THEY BOTH ANSWERED WHEN THEIR COUNTRY CALLED.

I BELIEVE I DID HEAR SOMETHING ABOUT THAT.

[ CAR HORN HONKS ]

OH, HI, SAM.

Sam: HI, ANDY.

WELL, DID YOU ASK HIM YET?

I AIN'T FINISHED YET.

I GOT A LOT MORE STUFF TO TELL HIM.

LIKE, IT AIN'T WHAT MAYBERRY CAN GIVE TO YOU.

IT'S WHAT YOU CAN GIVE TO MAYBERRY.

OH, COME ON, GOOB.

SAM, DID YOU KNOW THAT HERB BRADSHAW

HAS RESIGNED FROM CITY COUNCIL?

YEAH, I HEARD ABOUT THAT.

WELL, A LOT OF US FEEL

THAT YOU'RE THE MAN TO TAKE HIS PLACE.

ME?

OH, NO. I'M NO POLITICIAN, ANDY.

SEE? YOU ASKED HIM TOO SOON.

GOOB. THE FACT THAT YOU'RE NOT A POLITICIAN

IS ONE OF THE THINGS THAT RECOMMENDS YOU.

GEE, I DON'T KNOW.

SAM, YOU'D BE DOING THE COMMUNITY A SERVICE.

EVERYBODY KNOWS YOU'RE FAIR AND SQUARE.

"FAIR AND SQUARE SAM"-- THAT'D MAKE A GOOD SLOGAN.

WHAT DO YOU SAY?

WELL, I'VE GOT THE FARM...

THE CITY COUNCIL'S NOT A FULL-TIME JOB.

BUT WE DO NEED A GOOD MAN IN THERE.

DO YOU THINK I COULD HANDLE IT?

WELL, WE'VE ALL THOUGHT AND THOUGHT,

AND WE ALL AGREE THAT YOU'RE THE MAN FOR THE JOB.

WELL...

Goober: THEN YOU'LL RUN?

YEAH, I'LL RUN.

GOOD TO HEAR.

SAM'S THE BEST, TO HECK WITH THE REST!

ANOTHER GOOD 'UN.

WHO ELSE IS GOING TO BE RUNNING?

EMMETT CLARK. HE'S A NICE FELLA.

OH, YEAH, A VERY NICE FELLA,

BUT, WELL, WE ALL FEEL HE'S JUST NOT RIGHT FOR THE JOB.

NOT FOR THIS JOB.

WELL, WHAT DO I DO NOW?

FIRST THING, GO DOWN AND GET YOUR NAME ON THE BALLOT.

RIGHT. SHALL WE?

TIPPECANOE AND SAM, TOO.

COME ON.

WELL, THAT'S DONE.

WHO'S GOING TO TELL EMMETT?

WELL, THAT'S NO PROBLEM.

WE'LL ALL GIVE OUR VIEWS

AT THE SAME TIME, RIGHT, ANDY?

RIGHT.

OH, HI, FELLAS.

HI, EMMETT.

I JUST PUT OUT SOME COOKIES AND LEMONADE.

WANT TO TREAT THE VOTERS RIGHT.

HELP YOURSELF, GUYS.

NO, THANKS. NO, THANKS.

WHERE YOU FELLAS BEEN?

WE OUGHT TO GET TOGETHER AND WORK OUT THE CAMPAIGN.

I WANT TO GET THE JUMP ON ANYBODY ELSE

WHO MIGHT DECIDE TO RUN.

IF WE ALL GET TOGETHER

AND WORK HARD ON THIS THING,

I DON'T THINK WE'LL HAVE TOO MUCH COMPETITION.

EMMETT. EMMETT. WHAT?

WE'VE GOT SOMETHING TO TELL YOU.

WHAT?

GO AHEAD, HOWARD.

WELL, EMMETT, WE'VE ALL BEEN FRIENDS HERE

FOR A LONG TIME, AND... AND...

WELL, WE ALL KNOW EACH OTHER'S CAPABILITIES.

WELL, THANK YOU, HOWARD.

AND I'LL TRY TO LIVE UP TO THEM.

YOU WANT TO TAKE IT, ANDY?

WELL...

EMMETT, UH...

WH-WHAT WE'RE GETTING AT IS, UH...

EVEN THOUGH WE ARE THE BEST OF FRIENDS

AND-AND YOU RUN THE FINEST FIX-IT SHOP

THAT I HAVE EVER BEEN IN...

THANK YOU, ANDY.

UM...THE FACT IS, UH...

WE'RE BACKING SAM JONES FOR CITY COUNCIL.

WHAT?!

THAT'S RIGHT.

SAM JONES?!

YOU MEAN YOU'RE NOT BACKING ME?

NO, EMMETT, WE'RE NOT.

YOU'RE NOT, HUH?

YOU WANT TO TAKE IT AGAIN, HOWARD?

THERE'S NOTHING LEFT TO TAKE, GOOB.

UH, EMMETT, NOW DON'T GET US WRONG.

WE'RE FRIENDS-- WE REALLY ARE FRIENDS --

BUT THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH FRIENDSHIP.

FRIENDS, HUH?

WELL, I GOT SOME REAL FRIENDS IN THIS TOWN.

AND THERE'S PLENTY MORE WHERE THEY CAME FROM.

I'M SORRY YOU FEEL THAT WAY.

WE JUST THOUGHT WE'D COME BY AND TELL YOU.

WELL, NOW YOU'VE TOLD ME.

NOW I'LL TELL YOU SOMETHING.

YOU'RE IN FOR A FIGHT.

YOU GONNA STAND AROUND HERE ALL DAY

IN MY HEADQUARTERS?

THOSE ARE FOR MY REAL FRIENDS.

BOY, POLITICS CAN REALLY GET DIRTY.

HI, NEIGHBOR.

OH, HI, EMMETT.

HOW'S BUSINESS?

WELL, IT COULD BE BETTER.

YEAH, I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN.

THAT'S ONE THING I'VE ALWAYS TAKEN PRIDE IN--

KNOWING THE PROBLEMS OF THE SMALL BUSINESSMAN.

OH, YEAH?

LIKE, UH, KNOWING HOW YOUR DINER HERE

COULD DOUBLE ITS BUSINESS OVERNIGHT.

DOUBLE MY BUSINESS?

YEAH. I WAS THINKING

IF I RAN A DINER LIKE THIS, I WOULDN'T MIND

IF SOMEBODY PUT THE BUS STOP

RIGHT OUT HERE IN FRONT.

YEAH, BUT HOW COULD I GET THAT?

WELL, I GUESS THAT ALL DEPENDS

UPON HOW SYMPATHETIC THE NEW HEAD OF THE COUNCIL

WILL BE TO THE SMALL BUSINESSMAN.

OH, YEAH.

HOW'D YOU LIKE TO WEAR THIS, HARRY?

"VOTE FOR EMMETT CLARK."

I'LL SEE YOU.

HI, HARRY.

HI, EMMETT.

YOU OFF TO MILLER'S POND, HUH?

THAT'S RIGHT, I'M OFF TO MILLER'S POND.

I DON'T KNOW WHY, THOUGH,

THE WAY THEY'VE BEEN BITING LATELY. NOTHING.

THAT'S A FUNNY THING, YOU KNOW?

ONCE I DECIDED TO RUN FOR COUNCIL,

THAT WAS ONE OF THE FIRST THINGS

I THOUGHT ABOUT--

MAYBE STOCKING THE POND WITH SOME BIG PERCH.

BIG PERCH?

HMM. HOW'D YOU LIKE TO WEAR ONE OF THESE?

BIG PERCH, HUH?

OKAY, EMMETT.

THERE YOU ARE, HARRY.

I'LL SEE YA.

OH, HELLO, MRS. FARLEY.

HELLO, MR. CLARK.

WHAT'S THE MATTER? YOU LOOK TIRED.

I AM. WHAT A NUISANCE.

EVER SINCE THEY MOVED THE CUB SCOUT MEETING

FROM THE SCHOOL TO THAT BUILDING IN BACK OF THE FIREHOUSE, I...

YOU KNOW, IT'S A FUNNY THING, MRS. FARLEY.

EVER SINCE THE FIRST DAY I DECIDED TO RUN FOR COUNCIL,

THAT WAS ONE OF THE THINGS THAT DISTURBED ME.

WHY DID THEY EVER MOVE IT?

I'D LIKE TO SEE IT BACK IN THE SCHOOLHOUSE.

YOU WOULD?

CERTAINLY WOULD.

OH, MRS. FARLEY, HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO...?

OH, KEVIN, THERE'S A LITTLE SOMETHING FOR YOU TO WEAR.

I'LL SEE YOU, MRS. FARLEY.

OH, UH, MR. LINK, I'VE GOT A...

IF I WANT TO THIS ELECTION, IT LOOKS LIKE

IT'S GOING TO TAKE A WHOLE LOT MORE

THAN JUST PUTTING MY NAME ON THE BALLOT.

YEAH. WE'RE GOING TO HAVE TO FIGHT FIRE WITH FIRE.

EMMETT'S GOING ALL OVER TOWN PROMISING FAVORS TO EVERYBODY.

I IMAGINE HE'S PICKING UP QUITE A BIT OF SUPPORT.

YOU PROMISE EVERYBODY EVERYTHING THEY WANT

AND YOU GOT TO GET VOTES.

THAT'S THE VERY THING WE'RE TRYING

TO KEEP OUT OF THE GOVERNMENT.

WHAT DO WE DO?

ELECTION'S TWO DAYS AWAY.

ONLY THING WE CAN DO IS GO AROUND AND RING DOORBELLS.

GET RIGHT TO THE VOTERS.

LET THEM KNOW WHAT YOU STAND FOR.

WHEN DO WE START?

RIGHT NOW WOULDN'T BE TOO SOON.

WILL YOU GET IN TOUCH WITH SOME OF THE OTHERS?

WE'LL WORK IN TEAMS AND COVER ALL THE STREETS.

FINE. I'LL SEE YOU LATER.

RIGHT. RIGHT.

MR. PERKINS.

OH, HI, ANDY. HOWARD.

MR. PERKINS, WE'RE ON A DOOR-TO-DOOR CAMPAIGN

TO ELICIT SUPPORT FOR SAM JONES

IN THE COMING ELECTION.

SEE, WE FEEL, BY FAR

HE'S THE BEST MAN FOR THE JOB.

YEAH, WELL, I AIN'T QUITE MADE UP MY MIND YET.

YOU KNOW, I'VE KNOWN EMMETT FOR A LONG TIME.

WELL, YOU SEE, THE IMPORTANT THING

TO REMEMBER, MR. PERKINS, IS THAT SAM INTENDS

TO WORK FOR THE COMMUNITY AS A WHOLE-- NO FAVORITISM.

TO PARAPHRASE THAT OLD EXPRESSION

"HE'S FOR ALL OF THE PEOPLE SOME OF THE TIME

"AND SOME OF THE TIME, HE'S FOR ALL OF THE PEOPLE

AND ALL OF THE TIME HE'S..."

UH, "HE'S FOR SOME OF THE PEOPLE ALL OF..."

WE'D APPRECIATE YOUR VOTE. COME ON, HOWARD.

YOU GET THE POINT.

GOOD AFTERNOON, MR. CALVIN.

OH, GOOD AFTERNOON, LADIES.

MR. CALVIN, WE REPRESENT THE WOMEN FOR SAM JONES.

OH, GOOD BOY. GOOD BOY.

IF YOU FEEL THAT WAY,

WE HOPE YOU'LL GET OUT AND VOTE FOR HIM.

PLANNING TO.

AND IF, FOR SOME REASON

YOU DON'T FEEL UP TO GOING TO THE POLLS ON WEDNESDAY,

ONE OF OUR PRECINCT WORKERS

WOULD BE VERY GLAD TO DRIVE YOU--

POSSIBLY MISS CRUMP?

OH... WELL, I HAVEN'T BEEN FEELING TOO GOOD LATELY.

SO I'LL SEE YOU WEDNESDAY, MISS CRUMP.

ALL RIGHT. BYE.

BYE, MR. CALVIN.

GOOD-BYE.

VOTE FOR EMMETT CLARK.

EMMETT CLARK FOR TOWN COUNCIL.

TOWN COUNCIL, EMMETT CLARK.

VOTE FOR... AH, THERE YOU ARE.

WEAR YOUR EMMETT CLARK BUTTON.

HAVE A BUTTON FOR EMMETT CLARK.

HEY, WAIT A MINUTE.

HAVE YOUR EMMETT CLARK BUTTON.

BUTTON FOR EMMETT CLARK.

WELL, MRS. BARTON, WE FEEL THAT WITH SAM IN OFFICE,

EVERYBODY'LL GET A SQUARE DEAL.

WELL, EMMETT SAYS

HE'S GOING TO GIVE A SQUARE DEAL, TOO.

WELL, MRS. BARTON, EMMETT'S A FINE MAN.

HE'S A GOOD FRIEND OF MINE,

BUT HE'S GOING AROUND PROMISING EVERYBODY EVERYTHING,

AND THAT'S JUST NOT POSSIBLE.

WELL, I'LL JUST HAVE TO THINK ABOUT IT.

HEY, THAT CINDY OF YOURS IS REALLY GETTING TO BE

A CUTE ONE.

REAL CUTE, AIN'T SHE, SAM?

HE LOVES BABIES.

GOODBYE, MRS. BARTON.

BYE-BYE. GOODBYE.

THAT COULD BE ANOTHER VOTE.

IT'S GOOD KISSIN' BABIES.

I KNOW, GOOB, BUT COULD YOU FIND ME ONE

WHO DIDN'T JUST FINISH EATING A JELLY SANDWICH?

HAVE A BUTTON FOR EMMETT CLARK.

WEAR YOUR EMMETT CLARK BUTTON.

BUTTON FOR EMMETT CLARK.

HAVE A BUTTON FOR EMMETT CLARK.

HAVE A BUTTON FOR EMMETT CLARK.

WELL...

POLLS CLOSED FIVE MINUTES AGO.

WE OUGHT TO BE HEARING SOMETHING ANY MINUTE.

THEY'VE BEEN TALLYING ALL DAY.

I TOLD SARAH TO KEEP THE LINE OPEN.

WELL, I'M GLAD WE HAD GOOD WEATHER.

IT BROUGHT THE PEOPLE IN FROM THE RURAL AREAS.

WE HAVE GREAT STRENGTH THERE, NATURALLY.

SAM, YOU CERTAINLY SEEM CALM UNDER THE CIRCUMSTANCES.

ONLY ON THE OUTSIDE.

YOU KNOW, I CONDUCTED MY OWN PRIVATE POLL

AND I FOUND THAT THE VOTE WAS SPLIT

AMONG THOSE WHO WERE COMMITTED,

BUT AS OF YESTERDAY,

30% OF THE VOTERS WERE UNCOMMITTED

AND THAT'S GOING TO BE THE BIG FACTOR.

LET'S JUST HOPE THEY COMMIT IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION.

CAN I HAVE SOME COOKIES, AUNT BEE?

OH, NO, NO, OPIE.

THOSE ARE FOR OUR VICTORY CELEBRATION.

IF EMMETT WINS, CAN WE STILL HAVE SOME?

UH, YES, OPIE. YES.

[ TELEPHONE RINGS ]

THIS COULD BE IT.

COME ON.

HELLO.

UH-HUH.

Y-YEAH.

WELL, THANK... THANK YOU, MISS BLAIR.

WELL...

IT'S SAM JONES BY 405 VOTES.

[ ALL CHEERING ]

HEY, GREAT!

[ CHEERING CONTINUES ]

CONGRATULATIONS. MAKE A LITTLE SPEECH.

SPEECH, SPEECH. SPEECH, SPEECH.

RIGHT THERE.

FOLKS, I... I'M TRULY HONORED.

I... AS ALL OF YOU KNOW, THIS IS

THE FIRST TIME I'VE EVER HELD POLITICAL OFFICE

BUT I'M GOING TO DO THE VERY BEST I CAN.

THANK YOU.

MAYBERRY IS A FINE LITTLE TOWN,

AND MAYBE WE CAN MAKE IT EVEN BETTER.

I THINK THE IMPORTANT THING TO REMEMBER IS THIS:

GOOD GOVERNMENT ON ANY LEVEL

IS NOT JUST THE WORK OF YOUR PUBLIC OFFICIALS.

IT SHOULD BE EVERYBODY'S CONCERN.

OH, AND I JUST WANTED TO REMIND YOU

THAT MY OFFICE DOOR WILL ALWAYS BE OPEN

AND I CAN USE ALL THE HELP I CAN GET.

LEMONADE AND COOKIES, EVERYBODY.

LEMONADE AND COOKIES.

[ INDISTINCT TALKING ]

WELL, SAM... YOU DID IT.

YEAH.

[ BOTH LAUGHING ]

JUST GOT THE NEWS OVER AT MY HEADQUARTERS.

CONGRATULATIONS, SAM.

THE PEOPLE HAVE SPOKEN.

OH, THANKS, EMMETT.

I HOPE WE CAN ALL WORK TOGETHER NOW.

AH! YOU CAN COUNT ON ME 100%.

GOOD, GOOD.

EMMETT. SORRY ABOUT THE ELECTION.

UH, SAM, COULD I SPEAK WITH YOU A MINUTE?

HEY, A LITTLE PUNCH?

YEAH.

UH... LIKE A COOKIE?

NO, THANKS, GOOB.

UH, SAM, YOU SAID SOMETHING

ABOUT WANTIN' HELP FROM EVERYBODY?

YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT.

WELL, THERE'S ONE SPOT WHERE THIS TOWN

COULD REALLY USE A STOP SIGN.

OH, REALLY? WHERE'S THAT?

WHERE MAIN STREET RUNS INTO GARDEN ROAD.

YOU MEAN WHERE YOUR GAS STATION IS.

YEAH. PEOPLE SEEM TO JUST ZOOM RIGHT BY. ZOOM.

I SEE.

I GUESS A LOT OF FOLKS DON'T EVEN KNOW

THERE'S A GAS STATION THERE.

THEY MIGHT NEED GAS. WHO KNOWS?

YEAH. WHO KNOWS?

I JUST THOUGHT I'D MENTION IT.

HEY, SAM.

OH, HI, HOWARD.

I JUST WANTED TO OFFER

MY PERSONAL CONGRATULATIONS AGAIN.

OH, THANK YOU. THANK YOU.

SAY, YOU SAID SOMETHING

ABOUT WANTING ALL THE HELP YOU COULD GET.

I WANT YOU TO KNOW YOU CAN COUNT ON ME

FOR ALL THE HELP I CAN GIVE.

I APPRECIATE IT.

YOU KNOW, SAM, AS COUNTY CLERK

I ALWAYS FIGURED I HAD KIND OF AN IMAGE TO MAINTAIN.

YEAH. HAVE YOU BEEN IN MY OFFICE LATELY?

NO. NO, NOT LATELY.

I'VE OFTEN SPECULATED

WHAT A GOOD COAT OF PAINT AND A NEW DESK CHAIR

MIGHT DO FOR THAT PLACE.

OF COURSE, THAT WOULD BE UP TO THE CITY COUNCIL.

YEAH. YEAH, IT WOULD, WOULDN'T IT?

I JUST THOUGHT I'D MENTION IT.

YEAH.

WELL, CONGRATULATIONS AGAIN, SAM.

YEAH, HOWARD.

HI, THERE, YOUNG FELLER.

YOU KNOW I LIVE OVER THERE ON ELM STREET?

YEAH?

THERE'S QUITE A BIT OF TRAFFIC THROUGH THERE.

UH-HUH.

HERE'S MORE COOKIES.

OH, THANK YOU, ANDY.

ANYBODY SEEN SAM?

I THINK I SAW HIM STEP OUT ON THE PORCH.

HAVE YOU TRIED ANY OF THESE, GOOBER?

SIX.

[ SIGHS ]

SAM, WHAT ARE YOU DOING OUT HERE?

OH, JUST GETTING SOME AIR.

IS THERE SOMETHING WRONG?

NAH, NAH.

I SAY, IS THERE SOMETHING WRONG?

ANDY, DID YOU EVER HEAR OF SOMEBODY

THINKING OF RESIGNING

RIGHT AFTER THEY GOT ELECTED?

WHAT?

I HAVEN'T BEEN IN OFFICE FOR TEN MINUTES,

AND ALREADY PEOPLE ARE STARTING TO ASK ME

FOR PERSONAL FAVORS,

AND DO YOU KNOW WHO'S DOING THE ASKING?

THE VERY PEOPLE WHO HELPED PUT ME INTO OFFICE

ON A NO-FAVORITISM PLATFORM.

YEAH-- GOOBER AND HOWARD AND MR. CALVIN.

[ CLEARS THROAT ]

YOU KNOW, SAM,

I'VE BEEN IN PUBLIC OFFICE A LONG TIME MYSELF,

AND I'VE BEEN FACED WITH THAT SAME PROBLEM.

AND YOU KNOW WHAT HAPPENS TO PEOPLE SOMETIMES --

THEY GET CONFUSED WITH THE MEANING OF FAVORITISM.

SOMETIMES THEY THINK THAT FAVORITISM

IS ANYTHING SOMEBODY ELSE GETS.

HUH. "ANYTHING SOMEBODY ELSE GETS."

YEAH.

YEAH.

WELL, THEN, I GUESS IT'S JUST GOING

TO BE PART OF MY JOB TO CONVINCE FOLKS

THAT WHAT'S BEST FOR ALL

IS ALSO BEST FOR THE INDIVIDUAL.

I THINK YOU CAN HANDLE IT, SAM.

WELL... AT LEAST I HAVEN'T BEEN BRIBED YET.

[ BOTH LAUGHING ]

OH, SAM, I HAD A LITTLE PIE CRUST LEFT OVER,

AND I MADE YOU A PIE.

I DIDN'T WANT YOU TO FORGET IT.

OH, THANK YOU, AUNT BEE.

UH, SAM, THE LADIES IN THE GARDEN CLUB

WERE WONDERING IF SOME FUNDS COULD BE ALLOCATED

FOR A COMMITTEE TO GO TO RALEIGH FOR THE FLOWER SHOW.

I JUST THOUGHT I'D MENTION IT, HMM?

I'LL TELL YOU FELLAS, WE GOT A REAL GOOD MAN IN THERE.

YEAH, HE WAS IN THAT COUNCIL OFFICE AT 7:00.

HE'S A HARD WORKER.

HI, FELLAS.

OH, HI, SAM. HI, SAM. MR. COUNCILMAN.

WE WERE JUST TALKING ABOUT YOU.

OH? GOOD OR BAD? ALL GOOD.

YOU KNOW, ONCE A MAN GETS STARTED IN POLITICS,

THERE'S NO TELLING WHERE HE MIGHT GO.

SAM COULD BECOME MAYOR, STATE ASSEMBLYMAN, GOVERNOR, AND --

LET'S FACE IT, IT'S HAPPENED BEFORE--

PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES.

HOWARD, I'LL TELL YOU THE TRUTH,

I'LL BE VERY HAPPY IF I CAN JUST HANDLE THE MAYBERRY CITY COUNCIL.

NO, NO, I MEAN IT.

REMEMBER, LINCOLN WAS A SMALL-TOWN LAWYER.

LOTS OF OUR PRESIDENTS

HAVE STARTED WITH LITTLE JOBS IN SMALL TOWNS.

IT'S HAPPENED.

UH, HOW ABOUT YOU, EMMETT?

IF YOU HAD BEEN ELECTED,

WOULD YOU BE THINKING ALONG THESE LINES?

ME, PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES?

YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND?

WELL --

THAT'S REALLY RIDICULOUS!

WITH MY BACK PROBLEM,

I COULD NEVER STAND THAT COLD WEATHER IN WASHINGTON.

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