All language subtitles for The.Andy.Griffith.Show.S06E07.Off.To.Hollywood.WEBRip.x264-ION10

HEY, WARREN.

HEY, GOOBER.

JUST CHANGED ANOTHER TIRE.

ANDY BEEN IN YET?

NO, NOT YET.

ANYTHING I CAN DO FOR YOU?

OH, I JUST WANTED
TO TELL HIM

I CAN GREASE HIS SQUAD
CAR AROUND 11:00

IF HE WASN'T
GONNA USE IT.

JUST LEAVE A NOTE
ON THE DESK.

THAT WAY THERE WON'T BE
ANY CHANCE FOR A SLIPUP.

COULDN'T YOU
JUST TELL HIM?
LEAVE A NOTE, GOOBER.

YOU SURE BELIEVE IN DOING
THINGS RIGHT, DON'T YOU, WARREN?

WHEN YOU'VE SPENT 16 WEEKS
IN THE SHERIFF'S ACADEMY,

AS I HAVE, YOU'LL LEARN THINGS.

YOU'LL LEARN WHAT IS IMPORTANT
AND WHAT IS NOT IMPORTANT.

THEY TEACH YOU SUPPOSED
TO LEAVE NOTES.

THEY TAUGHT ME THAT EFFICIENCY
IS A DEPUTY'S DUTY.

OH.

AND I HAPPEN
TO PRIDE MYSELF

ON EFFICIENCY.

I WAS FOURTH IN MY CLASS.

THAT'S HOW I HAPPENED
TO GET THIS JOB

RIGHT HERE
IN MAYBERRY.

I GUESS BEING FLOYD LAWSON'S
NEPHEW DIDN'T HURT NONE.

OH, I'VE BEEN WAITING
FOR THAT ONE.

GOOBER, LET'S CLEAR
THE AIR RIGHT NOW.

I HAVE NEVER, EVER USED
MY FAMILY TIES.

A MAN WHO CAN'T GET AHEAD
ON HIS OWN ISN'T WORTH HIS SALT.

THAT'S ANOTHER THING
THEY TAUGHT ME

AT THE SHERIFF'S ACADEMY.

"DEAR ANDY,

"DO YOU WANT THE
SQUAD CAR GREASED?

YOURS TRULY, GOOBER."

IS THAT ALL RIGHT?

THAT'S FINE, GOOBER.

WELL, AIN'T
NO DATE ON IT.

JUST SET IT DOWN
ON THE DESK, GOOBER.

WONDER WHAT THEY
WANT WITH ANDY.

WHO'S THAT?

"BELMONT PICTURES STUDIO,
HOLLYWOOD, CALIFORNIA."

WHAT ARE THEY WRITING HIM FOR?

I HAVE NO IDEA

AND, FRANKLY, GOOBER,
THAT IS NONE OF OUR BEESWAX.

WHAT ARE YOU SMELLING IT FOR?

THERE'S NO SCENT TO IT;
IT'S A BUSINESS LETTER.

IT LOOKS IMPORTANT.

WHEN'S HE COMING BACK?

NO IDEA.

KNOW WHAT MY GRANDMA
USED TO DO WITH LETTERS?

STEAMED THEM OPEN
WITH A TEA KETTLE.

BOY, SHE WAS SLICK.

COULDN'T EVEN TELL
SHE'D DONE IT.

WELL, THAT'S AN OLD TRICK.

YOU KNOW WHAT YOUR SHARPIES DO

WHEN THEY WANT TO SEE WHAT'S
INSIDE A LETTER, DON'T YOU?

NO.
HUH?

NO.
HUH?

I'M GOING TO SHOW YOU.

I'M GONNA GIVE YOU WHAT WE CALL
A VISUAL DEMONSTRATION.

NOW, YOUR SHARPIES
HOLD IT UP TO THE LIGHT

SO THEY CAN READ
RIGHT THROUGH IT.

THIS IS VERY
ILLEGAL, GOOBER.

THEY HOLD IT UP
THERE LIKE THIS.

DO YOU SEE ANYTHING?

Warren:
NOT YET.

Goober:
SWITCH HER AROUND
A LITTLE BIT.

OH, YEAH.

SOMETHING'S
COMING THROUGH.

WELL, WHAT IS IT?

I CAN'T MAKE
IT OUT YET.

MAYBE I CAN HELP.

OH, HI, ANDY.

I WAS JUST
SHOWING GOOBER HERE

THE WAY THE SHARPIES LOOK
IN OTHER PEOPLE'S MAIL.

TERRIBLE PRACTICE--
VERY COMMON, TOO.

SO I SEE.

WELL, THAT'S THE WAY
IT'S DONE, GOOBER.

IT'S AGAINST THE LAW.
YOU MIGHT PASS THE INFORMATION.

HOW ARE THINGS, ANDY?

FINE.

ANY PARTICULAR
LETTER YOU
WERE USING?

UH, NO, I DIDN'T
EVEN NOTICE, ANDY.

YOU DID, TOO.

IT WAS THE ONE
FROM BELMONT
FILM STUDIOS,

HOLLYWOOD,
CALIFORNIA.

YOU GUYS WANNA FIND
SOMETHING TO DO?

UH, YOU WANNA FIND SOMETHING
TO DO, GOOBER?

HMPH.

WELL, I'LL
BE DOGGED.

WELL, I'LL BE DOGGED.

THAT'S A CHECK
FOR $1 MILLION.

$1 MILLION?

IT'S $1,000.

WITH ALL
THEM ZEROS?

WELL, I'LL BE DOGGED.

WHAT'S IT FOR, ANDY?

SOMETIME BACK, THERE WAS
A PIECE WRITTEN ON ME

IN A MAGAZINE CALLED
"SHERIFF WITHOUT A GUN"

AND THIS BELMONT
PICTURE COMPANY

IS GOING TO MAKE
A MOVIE OUT OF IT

AND THEY'RE SENDING ME
$1,000 FOR THE RIGHTS.

OOH, A PICTURE
ABOUT YOUR LIFE!

THAT'S REALLY SOMETHING,
ISN'T IT?

WHAT ARE YOU GOING
TO DO WITH THE MONEY?

I DON'T KNOW.

WANT YOUR
CAR GREASED?

NO, THANK YOU.

GOOBER, DON'T SAY ANYTHING
TO ANYBODY ABOUT THIS.

GOTCHA.

OKAY.

I'M GOING TO GO HOME
AND TELL THE FAMILY.

THEY'LL GET A BIG KICK
OUT OF IT, ANDY.

YEAH.

DON'T SPEND IT ALL
IN ONE PLACE!

A CHECK FOR $1,000.

PA, DOES THIS
MAKE US RICH?

OH, NO, NOT RICH.

BUT WE'RE CERTAINLY
BETTER OFF THAN
WE WERE BEFORE.

OH, MY GOODNESS
SAKES ALIVE.

MY, THOSE MOVIE COMPANIES

MUST HAVE A LOT
OF MONEY TO SPEND.

$1,000.

I GUESS THEY'RE
NOT CHINTZY.

ARE YOU GONNA
BE FAMOUS, PA?

OH, NO, NO.

THEY SENT THIS
'CAUSE THEY'RE
GONNA USE MY NAME

AND THE FACT THAT
I DON'T WEAR A GUN.

I'M GONNA CALL CLARA...

I WISH
YOU WOULDN'T.

WHAT'S THE FUN
OF HAVING MONEY

IF YOU DON'T TELL
YOUR FRIENDS ABOUT IT?

LET'S JUST KIND OF
KEEP IT TO OURSELVES.

WELL, AS YOU SAY.

OKAY.

CAN I ASK YOU
A QUESTION, PA?

WHAT ARE YOU GONNA
BUY WITH THE MONEY?

WELL, I'D FIGURE WE PUT THIS
RIGHT IN THE BANK.

AW, GEE.

WELL, YOU KNOW
WHAT THEY SAY--

A DOLLAR SAVED
IS A DOLLAR EARNED.

OH, ANDY,
YOU SHOULD SPEND SOME OF IT.

WELL, WHY?
WE DON'T NEED ANYTHING.

WHAT'S THE FUN
OF BUYING THINGS YOU NEED?

WHAT?

NO.

BUY SOMETHING
ABSOLUTELY UNNECESSARY

AND THEN IT'S A...
WHAT DO THEY SAY?

A BLAST!

OH, NO.

NO, NO.

I THINK WE OUGHT TO PUT THIS
RIGHT IN THE BANK.

THAT WAY WE KNOW WHERE IT IS.

YEAH.

'COURSE, I GUESS
WE OUGHT TO CELEBRATE.

WHY DON'T WE HAVE HELEN
OVER TO SUPPER?

FINE.

COULD WE HAVE
CHOCOLATE ICE
CREAM, PA?

SURE.

AND LET'S START OFF
WITH A CRABMEAT COCKTAIL.

AT LEAST LET'S DO
SOMETHING CRAZY.

OHH...

LOOK AT THAT.

1-0-0-0.

WHEW!

WHAT'S HAPPENIN'?

THEY WANNA SEE THE CHECK.

GOOBER...

ANDY, IT AIN'T MY FAULT.

YOU TOLD ME NOT TO SPREAD
IT AROUND, AND I DIDN'T.

I JUST TOLD FLOYD,
MR. SLUMMER AND GEORGE

OVER AT THE TV STORE

AND I WARNED THEM
IT WAS A SECRET

BUT SOME PEOPLE
ARE JUST BLABBERMOUTHS.

I SEE.

CAN WE SEE IT, ANDY?

All:
YEAH!

WELL, ALL RIGHT.

WELL...

All:
OH!

LET ME SEE.

DON'T TOUCH IT.

NOW, BOYS,

THEM ZEROS IS THE KEY
TO THE WHOLE THING.

AND THIS CAME ALL THE WAY
FROM HOLLYWOOD, DIDN'T IT?

THAT'S RIGHT.

OH, THAT'S AMAZING.

AND I SUPPOSE THAT'S
THE PRESIDENT OF THE COMPANY

THAT SIGNED IT RIGHT HERE.

I SUPPOSE.

UH-HUH. YEAH.

ART SPIEGEL.

IT'S TOO BAD YOU CAN'T
SAVE THAT SIGNATURE.

IT MIGHT BE WORTH
SOMETHING SOMEDAY.

YEAH, IT MIGHT.

UH, GOOBER...

OH. THAT'S RIGHT, BOYS.

NOW, YOU'VE SEEN
THE CHECK.

SO EVERYBODY OUT.

I'LL SEE YOU, BOYS.

THANKS FOR COMING.

ME AND THE SHERIFF
SHOWED YOU THE CHECK.

EVERYBODY OUT.

PEOPLE JUST
GOT TO KNOW

EVERYBODY
ELSE'S BUSINESS.

WHAT ARE YOU
GOING TO DO

WITH THE
CHECK, ANDY?

I DON'T KNOW, GOOBER.

I GOT A '58 CONVERTIBLE
AT THE STATION

PERFECT SHAPE, JUST LIKE
IT'S OFF THE ASSEMBLY LINE.

$600-- THAT'LL LEAVE
$400 FOR REPAIRS.

NO, GOOBER.

HE DON'T NEED IT.

HE'S GOT THE SQUAD CAR.

A MAN DOESN'T WANT
TO THROW HIS MONEY AWAY.

RIGHT, ANDY?

RIGHT, FLOYD.

I JUST THOUGHT IT'D
BE A NICE CAR FOR YOU.

I DIDN'T MEAN
NOTHING BY IT.

THAT'S OKAY, GOOBER.

WELL, I'LL SEE YOU.

RIGHT.

SAY, ANDY, WHILE
I'VE GOT YOU HERE...

YOU KNOW THOSE TWO
ACRES THAT I'VE GOT

OVER ON THE
NORTH SIDE?

YES, FLOYD.

WELL, IT'S A BEAUTIFUL SPOT.

FILL IN THAT SWAMP,
IT'D BE A PARADISE.

MM-HMM.

WELL, I HAVEN'T MENTIONED THIS
TO A SOUL

BUT I'VE BEEN THINKING
ABOUT LETTING THAT GO.

NO, FLOYD.

AT $200 AN ACRE.

NO, FLOYD.

OF COURSE, IF IT HAPPENED
TO BE A PERSONAL FRIEND OF MINE,

OH, I'D SHAVE IT TO $150.

NO, FLOYD.

IF ANYBODY ELSE...

FLOYD, I DON'T WANT IT.

WELL, YOU DON'T HAVE
TO MAKE UP YOUR MIND NOW.

JUST ONE OF THESE DAYS,
PUT YOUR WADING BOOTS ON

AND GO OVER
AND HAVE A LOOK AT IT.

BOY, I SURE
LIKE CRABMEAT.

MMM. IT'S DELICIOUS.

COULD WE HAVE THIS
EVERY NIGHT FOR SUPPER?

WELL, THIS IS KIND OF
A SPECIAL OCCASION, OPE.

BUT WE'LL HAVE IT
AGAIN SOMETIME,
WON'T WE, AUNT BEE?

ANYTIME YOU SAY, ANDY.

I JUST LOVE IT.

OH, THIS HAS BEEN QUITE A DAY.

OH, EXCITING.

WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO

WITH THE MONEY?

PUT IT IN THE BANK.

PUT IT IN THE BANK?

WHAT'S WRONG WITH THAT?

WELL, WHY DON'T YOU HAVE
SOME FUN WITH IT?

SPLURGE. DO SOMETHING CRAZY.

WE HAD CRABMEAT TONIGHT.

AND THAT'S ABOUT AS CRAZY
AS WE'LL GO.

WELL, WHY DON'T YOU
LIVE IT UP A LITTLE?

YEAH, PA, LET'S LIVE IT UP.

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

WELL, WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME
YOU PEOPLE TOOK A TRIP?

WELL, WE TAKE TRIPS.

WE GO UP TO RALEIGH
EVERY NOW AND THEN.

AND-AND WE DROVE UP TO ASHEVILLE
THAT TIME, 'MEMBER?

WHEN YOUR COUSIN BECAME A MASON.

CAN WE TAKE A TRIP, PA?

CAN WE, AUNT BEE?

WELL, IT'S ENTIRELY UP
TO YOUR FATHER, DEAR.

WELL, I SUPPOSE WE COULD TAKE
A LITTLE OF THE MONEY

AND TAKE A LITTLE TRIP.

WANNA GO OVER
TO PARKINSON'S FALLS?

IT'S NICE THIS TIME OF YEAR.

AND OPIE HASN'T BEEN THERE
SINCE HE WAS A BABY.

MM-HMM.

WELL, YOU WANNA DRIVE UP
TO ASHEVILLE AGAIN,

SEE COUSIN EDVIN MOORE?

HE'S A GRAND MASTER NOW.

WELL...

WELL, DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEAS?

WELL, LET ME THINK. UM...

HOW ABOUT HOLLYWOOD, CALIFORNIA?

HOLLYWOOD, CALIFORNIA?!

THAT'S A WONDERFUL IDEA.

WELL, THEY'RE MAKING
THAT MOVIE ABOUT YOU OUT THERE.

WHY DON'T YOU GO TAKE A LOOK
AT THE PLACE?

AND WE CAN SEE
ALL THE MOVIE STARS

LIKE JOHN WAYNE,
ELVIS PRESLEY AND FABIAN.

WAIT. WAIT. WAIT A MINUTE.

WAIT. WAIT A MINUTE.

HOLLYWOOD, CALIFORNIA.

WOULDN'T THAT BE THRILLING?

WELL, THAT'S 3,000 MILES AWAY.

5 1/2 HOURS BY PLANE.

AND THE MONEY.

OH, WELL,
THAT $1,000 WAS FOUND MONEY.

YEAH, PA, PLEASE, PLEASE?

WAIT. WE'LL HAVE
TO THINK ABOUT THIS.

WE'LL HAVE TO THINK
ABOUT THIS A LOT.

YES, OF COURSE.

I MEAN, WE JUST CAN'T GET
ON AN AIRPLANE

AND GO TO HOLLYWOOD, CALIFORNIA.

WHY, WE WOULDN'T KNOW WHERE
TO STAY OR WHERE OR ANYTHING.

IT JUST OCCURRED TO ME.

WHAT'S THAT?

I JUST HAPPEN TO HAVE
SOME LITERATURE

ABOUT HOLLYWOOD.

RIGHT HERE.

HERE'S ALL
OUR ANSWERS.

THERE YOU ARE.

OPIE, YOU WANT
TO LOOK AT THAT?

LET ME SHOW
YOU SOMETHING.

THERE YOU ARE.

OH, THIS IS BEAUTIFUL.

LOOK AT THIS.

ISN'T THAT LOVELY?

RIGHT HERE IS
WHERE WE COULD STAY.

Helen:
OH, THAT'S MARVELOUS.

OH, HI, AUNT BEE.

OH, HELLO, ANDY.

WELL, JUST BECAUSE
WE'RE GOING TO HOLLYWOOD,

YOU DON'T HAVE TO
WEAR SUNGLASSES.

HMM?
OH, OH.

WELL, I FIND THEM
VERY RESTFUL.

IN THE HOUSE?

ANDY, DID YOU GET A CHANCE
TO LOOK AT THOSE FOLDERS?

OH, YEAH.

I WENT OVER THEM
PRETTY CAREFUL.

BOY, THEY GOT SOME BEAUTIFUL
PLACES OUT THERE.

PRICES TO MATCH.

WE DON'T HAVE TO STAY
AT THE MOST EXPENSIVE.

YEAH. I HOPE WE'RE NOT BITIN'
OFF MORE THAN WE CAN CHEW.

I DON'T KNOW HOW SMART IT IS

FOR US TO BE TAKING OPIE
OUT OF SCHOOL AND EVERYTHING.

HELEN SAYS
HE'S DOING JUST FINE,

AND SHE CAN OUTLINE THE WORK,
AND HE CAN KEEP UP.

WELL, I GUESS.

LEAVING WARREN
IN CHARGE OF THE OFFICE.

WELL, HE SEEMS LIKE
A VERY CAPABLE YOUNG MAN.

A MAN JUST OUT OF SHERIFF'S
ACADEMY, HE'S INEXPERIENCED.

OH, BUT HE'S SO ANXIOUS
TO MAKE GOOD,

AND, YOU KNOW,
THAT CAN BE VERY IMPORTANT.

WELL, YEAH,
HE TRIES HARD.

AND IF THERE'S ANYTHING
HE'S UNFAMILIAR WITH,

HE HAS FLOYD AND GOOBER
RIGHT THERE TO HELP HIM.

THANKS.

OH, STOP WORRYING, ANDY.

IT'LL WORK OUT JUST FINE.

WELL, AND GETTING READY
FOR THE TRIP AND EVERYTHING.

I JUST DON'T KNOW.

I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY YOU
MAKE SO MUCH OUT OF IT.

ALL YOU DO IS THROW A FEW THINGS
IN A BAG, AND OFF WE GO.

IT'S AS SIMPLE AS THAT.

WELL, I HOPE SO.

AND THE MINUTE
YOU GET ON THAT PLANE,

YOU'LL BE ABLE TO RELAX.
YEAH.

NOW, LET'S SEE.
WHAT DO I HAVE TO DO?

STOP THE MILK
AND THE NEWSPAPERS.

I THINK YOU BETTER STOP
AND GET A FEW MORE WHITE SHIRTS.
YEAH.

AND YOU'LL GET THE PLANE TICKETS
AND THE FILM FOR THE CAMERA?

YES, MA'AM.
MM-HMM.

AND ASK JASON TO SEW BACK
THE HANDLE ON THE BROWN VALISE.

AND JUDD -- JUDD BETTER WATER
THE LAWN WHILE WE'RE GONE.

YOU'VE SEEN 'EM;
NOW LET ME HAVE 'EM.

WHAT'S GOING ON?

HEY, ANDY.

THEY WANTED TO SEE
YOUR HOLLYWOOD TRAVEL FOLDERS.

WELL...

UH, MOST OF US FEEL
YOU OUGHT TO STAY

AT THE STAR BRIGHT HOTEL.

THEY GOT TV
IN EVERY ROOM

AND YOU GET
THE MORNING NEWSPAPER FREE

FROM THE COURTESY
OF THE MANAGEMENT.

AND COMPLIMENTARY
SHOESHINE RAG...

AND SHOWER CAP.

WELL, WE'LL TAKE ALL OF THAT
INTO CONSIDERATION.

NOW, BOYS, IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME

I GOT A LOT
OF WORK TO DO.

THAT'S RIGHT.
COME ON, EVERYBODY OUT.

EVERYBODY OUT.

THEY'VE GOT
TO HAVE

THEIR NOSE
IN EVERYTHING.

YEAH.

THEY SURE
GOT SOME
GREAT PLACES

OUT THERE,
THOUGH.

SAY, HERE'S ANOTHER
NICE PLACE OUT THERE.

OOH. "DELIGHTFUL
GOURMET CUISINE

"IN THE ZOMBIE ROOM

AND LUXURIOUS
ORTHOPEDIC MATTRESSES."

ORTHOPEDIC MATTRESSES...

"AT NIGHT

"SWAY TO THE MARACA RHYTHMS
OF JOSE GONZALEZ

"WHILE THE WIND
WHISTLES SEDUCTIVELY

"THROUGH THE COCOA PALM.

COME TO LIFE UNDER THE
STAR-STUDDED CALIFORNIA SKY."

THAT SOUNDS LIKE A GOOD ONE;
WHICH ONE IS THAT?

UH...UH...

SENIOR CITIZEN'S LODGE.

ON ROUTE 66.

OH.

LISTEN, GUYS,
IF YOU'LL EXCUSE ME

I GOT A LOT OF WORK TO DO.

THAT'S ALL RIGHT, ANDY.

YOU WON'T BOTHER US NONE.

HI, UNCLE FLOYD.

OH, WARREN.

KEEPING BUSY?

OH, SURE. THERE'S LOTS
TO DO IN THIS TOWN.

YOU MIGHT GET EVEN BUSIER.

THE SHERIFF'S GOING TO HOLLYWOOD
ON A VACATION.

HOLLYWOOD?

GUESS THAT MEANS YOU'LL BE
IN CHARGE OF THE OFFICE.

I GUESS IT DOES.

THINK YOU CAN
HANDLE IT, BOY?

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

DON'T KID ME.

THAT'S WHAT
I WAS TRAINED FOR.

OH, THAT'S
THE SPIRIT.

YOU'RE A LAWSON,
ALL RIGHT.

WHEN DUTY CALLS,
WE'RE ALWAYS READY.

I'D BETTER GET INSIDE.

I'LL SEE YOU LATER,
UNCLE FLOYD.

PROUD OF YOU, BOY!

ANDY, JUST HEARD ABOUT IT.

HOLLYWOOD, HUH?

OH, THAT'S THE GARDEN SPOT
OF THE WORLD.

YOU CAN TAKE MY
WORD ON THAT.

OH, GOOD.
YOU BEEN OUT THERE?

NO, BUT I HAD A
BROTHER-IN-LAW

THAT WAS STATIONED
OUT THERE.

THE THINGS HE USED TO TELL ME
THAT WENT ON OUT THERE.

THAT WAS BEFORE HE WAS MARRIED
TO MY SISTER.

WASN'T MARRIED
TO YOUR SISTER. GO ON.

WELL, THERE'S...
WARREN?
WARREN, LISTEN.

I WANT YOU TO TAKE
OVER WHILE I'M GONE.

THERE ARE A FEW THINGS

I'M GOING TO HAVE TO
GO OVER WITH YOU.

YOU DON'T HAVE TO WORRY
ABOUT ANYTHING.

THE WAY I'LL HANDLE THINGS

THEY'LL NEVER EVEN KNOW
YOU'RE GONE, BUSINESS AS USUAL.

TO START WITH...

Goober:
GO ON.

HE WAS A GOOD-LOOKING GUY
IN THOSE DAYS.

SIX-FOOT-TWO,
SHOULDERS OUT TO HERE

NO WAIST, BLACK, WAVY HAIR.

WHEN HE WALKED
DOWN THE STREET

THE GIRLS WOULD CRAWL
ALL OVER HIM.

THEY WERE
ALL OV HIM.
WARREN?

HOLD IT, ANDY;
GO ON, WARREN.

THE THINGS THAT HAPPENED TO HIM
ARE THINGS WE JUST DREAM ABOUT.

YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?

YEAH. WHAT DO
YOU MEAN?

NOW DON'T GET ME WRONG;
HE'S SETTLED DOWN.

HE'S LIVING WITH MY SISTER
IN MOLINE.

THEY HAVE FOUR KIDS,
THREE-BEDROOM HOUSE.

HE'S A MEMBER OF THE LIONS,
SOLID AS A ROCK.

HE'S PUT ON 20, 30 POUNDS,
LOST ALL HIS HAIR.

BUT YOU KNOW
WHAT HE TOLD ME?

WARREN, I'VE GOT TO TALK TO YOU
ABOUT THINGS YOU'VE GOT TO DO.

SURE, ANDY.
SHOOT.

WELL...THE AFTERNOON PATROL,
WARREN.

I KNOW. COVER THE WHOLE NORTH
SECTION IN THE SQUAD CAR.

RIGHT.

THEY WERE CRAWLING
ALL OVER HIM.

THEY WERE ALL OVER HIM.

YOU SEE, THIS ONE TIME HE WAS
TELLING ME ABOUT THIS THING

THAT WAS HAPPENING OUT THERE
IN HOLLYWOOD, CALIFORNIA.

HE IS SITTING
IN A RESTAURANT.

HE'S HAVING A CUP OF COFFEE,
MINDING HIS OWN BUSINESS.

AND THIS BEAUTIFUL DOLLY
COMES UP TO HIM.

SHE IS BEAUTIFUL.
SHE COMES RIGHT UP TO HIM.

SHE WAS A STAR OR A WAITRESS.
STAR OR A WAITRESS -- I FORGET.

DOESN'T MAKE ANY DIFFERENCE
'CAUSE SHE WAS SO BEAUTIFUL.

SO SHE SAYS TO HIM --

WARREN, COULD I TALK TO YOU
LATER IN THE DAY?

SURE, ANDY,
MY TIME IS YOUR TIME.

NOW, HE'S SITTING THERE.

HE'S WASN'T SAYING
ANYTHING TO HER.

HE'S PLAYING IT REAL CAGEY...

ANDY, I WAS JUST
COMING IN TO SEE YOU.

OH, HEY, MS. LARCH.

ANDY, SINCE YOU'RE GOING
TO BE OUT IN CALIFORNIA

I HAVE A VERY DEAR SECOND COUSIN
WHO LIVES IN COLORADO

AND I WAS WONDERING--
COULD YOU GIVE HER A RING

AND TELL HER
THAT WE'RE ALL JUST FINE?

WELL, MS. LARCH,
COLORADO'S THREE
STATES AWAY.

WELL, YOU'RE GOING TO BE
RIGHT OUT WEST THERE.

WELL...

WELL, OF COURSE,
IF YOU DON'T WANT TO.

OH, NO, MRS. LARCH.
IF-- IF I GET A CHANCE...

OH, WELL, I WOULDN'T WANT
TO PUT YOU OUT ANY.

JUST FORGET
I EVER MENTIONED IT.

OPIE, HAVE YOU
GOT IT ON YET?

Opie:
YEAH.

WELL, COME DOWN.

I WANT YOUR FATHER
TO SEE IT.

Opie:
OKAY.

I GOT HIM THE CUTEST OUTFIT
AT WEAVER'S TODAY.

JUST WHAT LITTLE BOYS
WEAR IN HOLLYWOOD.
OH, GOOD.

HE'S A LITTLE SHY,
SO SAY IT'S NICE.
OKAY.

NOW, DOESN'T
HE LOOK NICE?

WELL, YEAH,
THAT'S NICE.

IT'S AWFUL,
ISN'T IT, PA.

OH, NO, THAT'LL
BE REAL NICE
IN HOLLYWOOD.

I TOLD YOU YOUR
FATHER WOULD LIKE IT

AND I'M SO HAPPY
BECAUSE, YOU KNOW,

THAT COMES IN
MEN'S SIZES, TOO--

FATHER AND SON SETS--

AND I GOT YOU
THE SAME OUTFIT.

YOU GOT ME ONE OF THOSE?

HE DON'T LIKE IT EITHER.

I'M TAKING THIS THING OFF.
IT'S SISSY.

ANDY...

NO, NO, LISTEN,
OPE, I LIKE IT.

I REALLY, REALLY DO
LIKE IT BECAUSE...

IT'S CLASSY.

ANDY, WHY DON'T
YOU GO UP

AND TRY ON
YOUR OUTFIT?

WELL, IT'S SO LATE
AND EVERYTHING.

IF PA DON'T HAVE
TO WEAR HIS

DO I HAVE
TO WEAR MINE?

ANDY?

JUST BEAUTIFUL,
ANDY.

YOU'LL MAKE
HOLLYWOOD

SIT UP AND
TAKE NOTICE.

YEAH,
THAT OUGHT TO HOLD.

YEAH,
I GOT IT DOUBLE-STITCHED.

THAT'LL GET YOU TO
HOLLYWOOD AND BACK.

HOW MUCH DO I OWE YOU?

OH, FORGET IT.

JUST A LITTLE
GOING AWAY PRESENT.

THANK YOU, MR. JASON.

THAT'S VERY NICE OF YOU.

LEAVING
TOMORROW, HUH?

I'M GOING TO GET
THE 12:00 BUS TO RALEIGH

AND THEN RIGHT OVER
TO THE AIRPORT.

SAY, ANDY,
AS LONG AS YOU'RE GOING TO BE

OUT THERE IN HOLLYWOOD...

YES, MR. JASON?

I GOT A LITTLE NIECE;
YOU'VE NEVER MET HER.

UH-UH.

SHE TAP DANCES,
PLAYS THE XYLOPHONE--

JUST THE KIND OF TALENT
HOLLYWOOD'S BEEN WAITING FOR.

NOW, IF YOU SHOULD JUST HAPPEN

TO RUN INTO SOME
OF THEM MOVIE PEOPLE...

OH, I'LL BRING HER NAME
RIGHT UP.

I SURE WILL.

THEN IF SHE CLICKS

AND GETS TO BE A STAR
OR SOMETHING, WELL,

MAYBE YOU COULD
BE HER MANAGER.
RIGHT.

BE WELL WORTH YOUR WHILE.

RIGHT. AND THANKS,
MR. JASON.

AND THANKS FOR THE HELP.

I'VE OUTLINED OPIE'S LESSONS

BUT DON'T BE TOO STRICT
ABOUT HIS HOMEWORK.

THE TRIP SHOULD
BE EDUCATIONAL--

MEETING NEW PEOPLE
AND SEEING NEW THINGS.

YEAH.

IF I EVER GET BACK
FROM THIS TRIP

I DON'T THINK I'M GOING
TO TAKE ANOTHER ONE.

LOOK AT HERE.
WHAT'S THAT?

STUFF I GOT TO DO
WHEN I GET TO HOLLYWOOD.

"CALL MRS. LARCH'S COUSIN
IN COLORADO.

"SAY HELLO FROM COUSIN EDNA.

"GET AUTOGRAPH OF TONY CURTIS
FOR LITTLE EILEEN HOPKINS.

"STAND ON THE CORNER
OF HOLLYWOOD AND VINE

"AND SAY HELLO FROM FLOYD.

TAKE A PICTURE OF THE
PACIFIC OCEAN FOR GOOBER."

I GOT 30 THINGS LIKE THAT.

MMM.

UH...

WHAT?

WELL, I HATE TO ASK YOU, ANDY.

WHAT IS IT?

WELL, MY LANDLADY ASKED ME

IF I'D GET YOU TO BRING HER BACK
A PICTURE OF DALE ROBERTSON.

PICTURE...

DALE...

ROBERTSON.

OKAY.

THAT'S SWEET.

AH, WHAT'S ONE MORE?

OH, YOUR BUS LEAVES
AT NOON TOMORROW?

YEAH.

I HOPE WE CAN GET AWAY QUIETLY.

[ PLAYING
"CALIFORNIA, HERE I COME" ]

OH, MY, THIS IS
A NICE SURPRISE.

WE WANTED TO GIVE YOU
A REAL SEND-OFF, ANDY.

WELL, YOU SURE DID, GOOBER.

THIS IS REALLY SOMETHING.

REMEMBER YOU HAVE
TO DO SOME STUDYING.

DON'T WORRY, MISS CRUMP.
I'LL STUDY.

HEY, ANDY.

WHEN'S THE BUS COMING,
PA?

SOON, OPE, SOON.

HEY, ANDY!

HEY, FLOYD.

DON'T TAKE ANY
WOODEN NICKELS.

HERE COMES THE BUS.

[ PLAYING
"CALIFORNIA, HERE I COME" ]

WELL...

WELL, I GUESS THAT'S IT.

I GUESS.

I'M GONNA...
I'M GONNA MISS YOU.

OH, I'M GONNA MISS YOU.

OH, ANDY,
HAVE A GOOD TIME.

I WILL.
AND KEEP AWAY
FROM THOSE STARLETS.

WELL, YEAH...
WELL, I'LL, UH...

I GUESS I'LL GET THE BAGS.

NO NEED TO GET
THE NEW MESSED UP.

I'LL TAKE CARE
OF THE LUGGAGE.

WELL, O-OKAY.

WELL.

UP WE GO.

ANDY, I THINK IT WENT
OVER ON THE OTHER SIDE.
YEAH.

I'LL GO GET IT.
YEAH.

WELL, I'LL GET
THE REST OF IT.

OH, FOR HEAVEN
SAKES.

IF YOU GOT TIME,
I'LL SEW IT UP AGAIN.

NO, NEVER MIND,
I'LL JUST...

I'LL GET YOUR LUGGAGE.

WELL, OKAY.

AUNT BEE, OPIE,
COME ON.

WE BETTER...
B-B-BYE.

BYE. THANKS.
COME ON!

I SURE HOPE
HE CAN RELAX.

THE MINUTE
HE GETS ON THE PLANE.

SURE.
BYE, AUNT BEE.

I GOT YOUR
LUGGAGE!

I PUT IT UNDER
THE BOTTOM!

BYE, AUNT BEE.

HEY, PA, ARE THOSE FARMS
DOWN THERE?

Shh. OPIE, DON'T DISTURB
YOUR FATHER NOW.

OKAY.

ARE YOU RELAXING
A LITTLE?

YEAH.

SUDDENLY MAYBERRY SEEMS
FAR AWAY, DOESN'T IT?

YEAH.

MAIN STREET
AND THE PEOPLE AND...

OUR HOUSE.

ANDY?

HMM?

YOU TOOK CARE OF EVERYTHING
BACK AT THE HOUSE, DIDN'T YOU?

YEAH.

GOOD.

WHAT'D YOU HAVE IN MIND?

DID YOU TURN OFF THE GAS?

STEWARDESS!

STEWARDESS,
WHEN'S THE FIRST STOP?