Original subtitles

CORNMEAL.

OH, GOOD.

WHAT YOU FIXING?

ZUCCHINI CASSEROLE.

OH, GOOD. HELEN WILL LIKE THAT.

SHE CALLED TODAY AND ASKED IF IT'D BE ALL RIGHT

IF SHE BROUGHT SOME WOMAN ON THE RALEIGH SCHOOL BOARD.

SAID SHE'D BE HERE FOR A COUPLE WEEKS.

OF COURSE.

I TOLD HER IT'D BE ALL RIGHT.

I GUESS SHE GOT STUCK WITH HER.

IF ANYBODY GETS STUCK WITH ANYBODY, HELEN ALWAYS DOES.

NO, IT'S NOT THAT.

IT'S THAT SHE'S VERY THOUGHTFUL AND KIND.

WELL, YEAH.

HELEN IS A SWEET GIRL.

SHE REALLY IS.

YEAH, SHE'S THAT.

YOU'RE LUCKY TO HAVE A GIRL LIKE HELEN, ANDY.

OH, YOU'RE RIGHT ABOUT THAT.

ATTRACTIVE AND...

PLEASANT AND INTELLIGENT.

MM-HMM.

OF COURSE, HELEN IS LUCKY TO HAVE YOU, TOO.

OH, WELL, I DON'T KNOW ABOUT THAT.

NO, I MEAN THAT, ANDY.

YOU'RE ONE OF THE TOWN LEADERS

AND YOU'RE HANDSOME AND INTELLIGENT.

PLEASANT. WELL, ALL RIGHT, MAKE FUN OF IT.

BUT I THINK YOU AND HELEN ARE A PERFECT BLEND.

WELL, THANK YOU.

I... GUESS SHE FEELS THE SAME WAY.

SHE HASN'T KEPT COMPANY WITH ANYBODY

FOR A LONG TIME NOW, HAS SHE?

NOT THAT I KNOW OF.

YOU AND HELEN EVER TALK ABOUT ANYTHING SERIOUSLY?

OH, YEAH, SURE.

YOU HAVE?

SURE. EVERY NOW AND THEN

WE TALK ABOUT THE GOVERNMENT AND TAXES.

WELL, YOU BETTER TALK ABOUT YOU AND HER.

GIRLS HAVE BEEN LOST BEFORE, YOU KNOW.

WELL, I KNOW.

ALL RIGHT.

NOW, DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVEN'T WARNED YOU.

OKAY, I WON'T.

YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE HELEN WOULD LIKE?

SOME OF THAT PUNCH SUPREME.

DO YOU REMEMBER THAT RECIPE?

OH, YEAH.

I HAVEN'T MADE THAT IN A LONG TIME.

IS THERE ORANGE SHERBET?

YES. IN THE ICEBOX.

OKAY.

UH, LET'S SEE.

ORANGE SHERBET...

TOMATO JUICE...

ROOT BEER...

NOW, ANY MOLASSES?

ON THE SHELF.

OKAY.

ANDY?

HI.

HI.

WHERE'S YOUR FRIEND?

OH, JUST GETTING SOMETHING OUT OF THE CAR.

OH, ANDY, I'D LIKE YOU TO KNOW

FRANK SMITH OF THE SCHOOL BOARD.

A GREAT PLEASURE.

I THOUGHT YOU WERE A WOMAN.

WELL, I DON'T THINK SO.

AH, THERE YOU ARE AND RIGHT ON TIME.

AUNT BEE, UH, THIS IS FRANK SMITH.

I THOUGHT YOU WERE A WOMAN.

OH, NO.

I'D LIKE TO CLEAR THAT UP NOW.

I'M NOT A WOMAN.

NO.

THAT'S OKAY. ACTUALLY, IT'S GOOD.

WELL, IT'S NICE OF YOU HAVING ME THIS EVENING.

OH, NOT AT ALL. OH, SURE.

MY LITTLE CONTRIBUTION TO THE DINNER.

OH, WHAT A PRETTY BOTTLE.

YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO DO THAT.

WINE?

POUILLY-FUISSE.

HMM, OF COURSE.

IT SAYS SO RIGHT HERE ON THE BOTTLE.

WELL, UH, COME IN.

OH, THANKS, THANKS.

COME IN AND WE'LL SIT DOWN.

OH, UH... OH, YOU GO AHEAD.

YOU'RE COMPANY.

I'LL JUST, UH...

FUNNY HOW WE ALL THOUGHT YOU WERE A WOMAN.

SO, YOU'RE ON THE SCHOOL BOARD

UP IN RALEIGH, HUH?

WHY, THAT'S RIGHT.

MUST TAKE A LOT OF EDUCATION AND TRAINING

FOR A JOB LIKE THAT.

OH, WELL, FRANK HAS A Ph.D.

OH. GOOD.

ANDY MAKES A WONDERFUL PUNCH.

EVERYBODY'S JUST CRAZY ABOUT IT.

WHY DON'T YOU SERVE YOUR PUNCH SUPREME NOW, ANDY?

WELL, NO, NOW THAT WE'VE GOT THE WINE...

WHAT'S WRONG WITH SERVING BOTH THE PUNCH AND THIS...

POUILLY-FUISSE.

WINE, HMM?

WE'LL FORGET ABOUT THE PUNCH.

HOW ARE YOU ENJOYING YOUR STAY IN MAYBERRY, UH, FRANK?

OH, FINE. IT'S JUST A LOVELY LITTLE TOWN.

WE LIKE IT.

FRANK SAYS IT'S WONDERFUL BEING HERE

AFTER LIVING IN A BIG CITY LIKE RALEIGH.

YES, RALEIGH SEEMS TO BE GROWING BIGGER

AND MORE IMPERSONAL EVERY YEAR.

I'M AFRAID IT'S BECOMING AN EMBRYONIC MEGALOPOLIS.

I GUESS IT COULD.

WELL, WE'LL JUST SEE THAT YOU RELAX WHILE YOU'RE HERE.

I UNDERSTAND YOU'RE HERE FOR JUST A BRIEF STAY, HMM?

UH, YES, UNLESS CIRCUMSTANCES

SHOULD KEEP ME HERE LONGER.

WE'VE GOT A LOT OF WORK TO DO.

HMM.

I LEARNED SOMETHING TODAY, ANDY.

DID YOU KNOW MAYBERRY'S CRAWLING WITH HISTORY?

I DIDN'T KNOW THAT.

FRANK WAS TELLING ME ABOUT IT.

YES, THOSE HOUSES YOU HAVE ALONG NORTH AVENUE--

THEY DATE BACK TO EARLY 19th CENTURY.

THE HOUSES WHERE THE BRICKS ARE FALLING OFF?

THAT'S RIGHT.

MOST OF THE HOUSES THERE ARE DEFINITELY ANTEBELLUM.

OH.

PRETTY HARD TO PROVE, I IMAGINE.

NO, NO. NOT AT ALL.

THE ARCHITECTURE IS DEFINITELY OF THAT PERIOD

AND THE BRICKS AND THE MORTAR...

THEY'RE OLD HOUSES, ALL RIGHT, BEAUTIFUL.

FRANK WAS A HISTORY MAJOR AT COLLEGE.

OH, GOOD.

ANDY, DIDN'T YOU MENTION THE HISTORY OF MAYBERRY

IN THAT SPEECH YOU MADE?

WHAT SPEECH WAS THAT?

YOUR VALEDICTORY ADDRESS AT MAYBERRY HIGH.

REMEMBER WHEN I CAME FOR YOUR GRADUATION?

THAT WAS A WONDERFUL SPEECH ALL ABOUT HISTORY.

I DON'T REMEMBER IT.

WELL, I DO, PRACTICALLY EVERY WORD.

FELLOW STUDENTS, MEMBERS OF THE FACULTY,

HONORED GUESTS...

AUNT BEE...

WE WHO ARE GOING FORTH

INTO THE WORLD ARE FULLY AWARE OF OUR RESPONSIBILITIES

TO OUR COUNTRY AND TO MAYBERRY.

MAYBERRY, WHOSE GLORY AND HISTORY...

DON'T YOU THINK, UH, SUPPER'S READY?

RIGHT.

ALL RIGHT.

MMM.

ANOTHER PIECE OF PIE, MR. SMITH?

OH, NO, THANKS.

IT WAS A DELICIOUS MEAL, THOUGH, MS. TAYLOR.

THANK YOU.

WELL, WHY DON'T YOU ALL GO SIT IN THE LIVING ROOM?

I'LL HELP WITH THE DISHES.

NONSENSE, I'M JUST GOING TO STACK THEM. ANDY...

OPIE, WHY DON'T YOU ENTERTAIN OUR GUESTS?

I'LL GIVE AUNT BEE A HAND.

OKAY, PAW.

YOU KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT BASEBALL?

I PLAY ON THE TEAM AT SCHOOL

AND WE GOT A BIG GAME TOMORROW.

YOU'D HAVE THOUGHT HELEN WOULD HAVE MENTIONED HE WAS A MAN.

MAYBE SHE DID

AND I DIDN'T HEAR HER OR SOMETHING.

RATHER NICE-LOOKING, ISN'T HE?

UH, YEAH.

WELL, WHY DON'T YOU SPEAK UP MORE?

I DON'T HAVE A LOT TO SAY.

OH!

IT WAS NICE OF HIM TO BRING THE WINE, WASN'T IT?

YES, BUT I DON'T THINK THERE'S ANY NEED

OF ANY FOREIGN DRINKS IN MAYBERRY.

HE CERTAINLY HAS A LOT OF INFORMATION, DOESN'T HE?

SO DO YOU. WHY DON'T YOU SPEAK UP MORE?

I'M NOT GOING TO GET ON MY HIND LEGS AND TALK.

HE'S GOT A COLLEGE DEGREE.

THE TROUBLE WITH PEOPLE LIKE THAT IS THEY'RE BOOKISH.

THEY ONLY KNOW ONE SUBJECT.

TALK ABOUT ANYTHING ELSE AND THEY'RE HELPLESS.

ABSOLUTELY HELPLESS.

TO THROW A CURVE, YOU PUT YOUR MIDDLE FINGER

ON THE OUTSIDE SEAM

THEN SNAP YOUR WRIST WHEN YOU LET GO.

THAT'S THE WAY A BIG LEAGUER THROWS A CURVE.

BOY, THAT'S NEAT.

I'LL TRY THAT TOMORROW.

GEE, PAW, MR. SMITH SURE KNOWS ALL ABOUT PITCHING.

WONDERFUL.

YOU WERE A GOOD BASEBALL PLAYER

WEREN'T YOU, ANDY?

I PLAYED, LIKE EVERYBODY ELSE.

HE'S JUST BEING MODEST.

I REMEMBER HOW YOU USED TO BAT THAT BALL.

HE USED TO BAT IT CLEAR OUT OF SIGHT

NO MATTER HOW I THREW IT.

MR. SMITH PITCHED WHEN HE WAS IN COLLEGE.

DIDN'T YOU?

I WAS JUST A RELIEF PITCHER.

I WASN'T VERY GOOD.

BUT IF YOU PITCHED IN COLLEGE AND EVERYTHING...

OPIE, IF MR. SMITH SAYS HE WASN'T ANY GOOD

IT'S NOT YOURS TO QUESTION.

LISTEN, IT'S SUCH A NICE EVENING

WHY DON'T WE JUST GO OUT ON THE PORCH?

OKAY.

DON'T YOU HAVE HOMEWORK TO DO?

WELL, YEAH, I GUESS SO.

I'LL LET YOU IN ON SOMETHING.

WE HAVE AN ARITHMETIC TEST TOMORROW.

THERE IS? MM-HMM. FRACTIONS.

GOSH!

YOU CAN COME DOWN LATER AND SAY GOOD NIGHT.

WELL, SHALL WE GO OUT THERE

ON THE PORCH?

FINE, FINE.

AUNT BEE, YOU COMING?

YES.

IN A FEW MINUTES.

IT CERTAINLY IS A BEAUTIFUL EVENING.

YES, IT IS.

IT SURE IS.

I THINK IT'D BE NICE IF WE HAD SOME MUSIC.

PLAY SOMETHING FOR US, ANDY.

HE PLAYS SO BEAUTIFULLY.

NOT NOW, AUNT BEE.

FRANK, DIDN'T YOU SAY

YOU PLAYED THE GUITAR?

OH, IT'S BEEN A LONG TIME.

WELL, IT'S ALL YOURS, FRANK.

PLAY SOMETHING FOR US.

WELL, IT'S BEEN A LONG TIME.

IT'S A NICE GUITAR.

WELL...

YOU ASKED FOR IT.

OH, FRANK, YOU'RE WONDERFUL.

HERE YOU ARE, ANDY.

WOW.

WELL, I COULDN'T PLAY AFTER HE DID.

HE'S AN EXPERT.

OH, JUST BECAUSE SOMEBODY KNOWS

A WHOLE LOT OF CHORDS AND PLAYS FAST

DOESN'T MAKE THEM AN EXPERT.

YOU PLAY WITH FEELING.

WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO PROVE?

I DON'T KNOW WHY YOU INSIST

HIDING YOUR LIGHT UNDER A BUSHEL.

I'M NOT HIDING ANYTHING.

IT'S JUST THAT A MAN LIKE FRANK

CAN COME ALONG AND TURN A GIRL'S HEAD.

WELL, MAYBE HELEN WAS JUST BEING CORDIAL

TRYING TO MAKE HIM FEEL COMFORTABLE.

WELL, THAT'S NO REASON FOR YOU TO TAKE A BACK SEAT,

AND I'M CERTAIN YOU REMEMBER THAT VALEDICTORY ADDRESS.

YOU JUST DIDN'T WANT TO.

COULD WE TALK ABOUT SOMETHING ELSE?

ALL RIGHT WITH ME.

AFTER ALL, I'M THE LAST PERSON IN THE WORLD TO INTERFERE.

THERE'S A KIND OF A GROAN IN THERE

WHEN YOU GET HER UP AROUND 40.

GROAN?

WELL, THAT DON'T GIVE ME MUCH OF A CLUE.

WELL, IT'S A NOISE.

NOISE...

YOU SURE DON'T KNOW MUCH ABOUT CARS, DO YOU?

NO, GOOBER, I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT CARS.

WELL, THAT'S THE WAY IT IS, I GUESS.

SOME DO AND SOME DON'T.

TAKE THAT NEW FELLA OVER AT THE SCHOOL--

THAT FRANK SMITH.

YOU KNOW WHAT HE USED TO BE?

AN AUTO RACER.

HOW DID YOU KNOW THAT?

I JUST DID.

HE DROVE IN HERE

AND I RAISED UP THE HOOD OF HIS CAR

AND HE LOOKED AT THE MOTOR

AND SAID, "I NEED A GASKET FOR MY FUEL PUMP."

HE COULD TELL JUST BY LOOKING.

WONDERFUL.

HE'S SMART ENOUGH TO WORK IN A GAS STATION.

WHAT ABOUT MY CAR?

HE'S GOOD-LOOKING, TOO.

HE COULD GET A DATE WITH ANY GIRL IN TOWN

AND HE WOULDN'T HAVE TO PUT GREASE ON HIS HAIR.

I'D HATE FOR LYDIA TO MEET HIM.

THAT'D WORRY ME TO DEATH.

WHAT ABOUT MY CAR?

HUH? BRING IT IN

WHERE YOU CAN LEAVE IT FOR AN HOUR OR TWO.

I'LL TRY TO FIND OUT WHAT'S WRONG.

IF I CAN'T, I'LL ASK FRANK.

HI, PAW.

OPE. HOW WAS SCHOOL?

FINE.

SAY, PAW, CAN I BE A SCHOOLTEACHER WHEN I GROW UP?

SCHOOLTEACHER? WHY DO YOU WANT TO BE A SCHOOLTEACHER?

WELL, I WAS JUST TALKING TO MR. SMITH.

BOY, HE'S SMART.

HE'S GONNA SHOW US HOW TO BUILD

AN ELECTRIC MOTOR THAT REALLY WORKS --

WITH WIRES AND EVERYTHING.

BOY, IS HE SMART. MISS CRUMP THINKS SO, TOO.

OH, SHE DOES?

YEAH, A BUNCH OF US WERE HAVING LUNCH TOGETHER.

BOY, IS HE SMART. YOU SAID THAT.

SO, CAN I BE A TEACHER WHEN I GROW UP, PAW?

YEAH, YOU CAN BE A TEACHER. GO ON.

OKAY, PAW. BYE!

SARAH? IF ANYBODY'S LOOKING FOR ME,

I'LL BE OVER AT THE SCHOOLHOUSE.

YES, SARAH, I ALREADY MET HIM.

YEAH.

I AGREE WITH YOU. NO QUESTION ABOUT IT.

HE'S THE SMARTEST MAN I EVER MET!

HI.

OH, HI. WHAT A NICE SURPRISE.

I WAS JUST PATROLLING UP THIS WAY.

THOUGHT I'D STOP BY.

WHY, I'M VERY GLAD YOU DID.

BET YOU'RE WORKING ON SCHOOL PAPERS, HUH?

YEAH. I'M JUST TRYING TO GET A LITTLE AHEAD ON MY GRADING.

GOOD. I HOPE THAT MEANS YOU'LL HAVE A LITTLE FREE TIME TONIGHT.

WE USUALLY HAVE OUR MIDDLE-OF-THE-WEEK DATE IS ON THURSDAYS.

I KNOW, BUT THEY GOT A NEW MOVIE SHOWING TONIGHT.

OH? YEAH. THE MONSTER FROM MARS.

I WOULDN'T WANT TO MISS THAT.

NO.

I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW THEY HAD MONSTERS ON MARS.

YOU SEE? YOU LEARN SOMETHING NEW EVERY DAY.

HELEN, UH...

OH, HELLO, ANDY.

HI, FRANK.

I CERTAINLY DID ENJOY LAST EVENING.

WELL, I'M AWFULLY GLAD.

SAY, I'M NOT INTERRUPTING ANYTHING HERE, AM I?

OH, NO. I WAS JUST PATROLLING UP THIS WAY.

WELL, HELEN, THIS WILL JUST TAKE A MINUTE

THEN I'LL GET OUT OF YOUR HAIR.

YOU GO AHEAD.

THIS IS A NEW WATKINS GRADING MANUAL.

JUST ARRIVED FROM RALEIGH.

MR. TWIFORD'S ANXIOUS FOR YOU AND THE OTHER TEACHERS

TO LOOK IT OVER

BEFORE YOU MARK ANY OTHER PAPERS.

THIS IS, UH... MAPLE, ISN'T IT?

MM-HMM.

JAPANESE MAPLE ISN'T TOO COMMON

IN THIS PART OF THE COUNTRY...

OH?

THOUGH THEY DO HAVE THE TYPICAL EXSTIPULATE LEAVES.

Helen: THERE'S QUITE A BIT OF THIS AROUND MAYBERRY.

ONE OF MY LITTLE GIRLS BRINGS IT IN TO ME.

YOU KNOW, THERE'S SOME MIGHTY INTERESTING CLOUDS

OUT THERE.

CUMULUS, I BELIEVE THEY'RE CALLED...

LOTTA WATER.

YES, THOSE ARE INTERESTING CLOUDS.

CUMULUS... PRETTY.

JUST WONDERING, THOUGH

WHETHER THEY'RE CIRROCUMULUS OR ALTOCUMULUS.

HOW'S THAT?

WELL, THEY'RE QUITE SIMILAR

BUT THE CIRROCUMULUS ARE A BIT PUFFIER

AND SOMETIMES CONTAIN ICE CRYSTALS.

OH, YEAH.

Frank: WELL, I GUESS

I BETTER GET BACK TO THE OFFICE.

UH, I'LL TALK TO YOU LATER, HELEN.

OKAY, FINE. THANK YOU, FRANK.

NICE SEEING YOU, ANDY.

RIGHT.

BOY, HE SURE IS A SHARP GUY, ISN'T HE?

OH, YES, HE IS.

WELL...

I GUESS I BETTER GET ON BACK.

THEY'LL THINK I'M IN ADULT EDUCATION.

WELL, UH, I'LL PICK YOU UP, THEN, ABOUT, UH, 7:00?

MMM, FINE.

NOW, DON'T YOU BE LATE.

WE DON'T WANT TO KEEP THE MONSTERS WAITING.

WELL, MAYBE I BETTER GET OVER THERE BY 6:30.

HEY, GOOBER.

HEY, ANDY, HOW YOU DOING?

TOP OF THE WORLD, GOOBER...

TOP OF THE WORLD.

HMM?

HUH?

SO I CAN...

OH.

WANT TO GO TO THE MOVIE TONIGHT?

I'M FREE.

NO, NO, GOOBER, I'M SORRY.

I GOT A DATE WITH HELEN TONIGHT.

ON WEDNESDAY?

CERTAINLY, ON WEDNESDAY.

WELL, I... MIGHT GO ALONE.

WHERE YOU RECKON YOU'LL BE SITTING?

BY OURSELVES.

WHY DON'T YOU TAKE LYDIA?

I HAD A DATE WITH HER, BUT SHE BROKE IT...

CLAIMED SHE HAD A HEADACHE.

OH, A LITTLE COMPETITION, HUH?

WELL, I BEEN THINKING ABOUT THAT.

YOU KNOW JAMES ARTHUR BEASLO OVER AT THE BUTCHER SHOP?

I THINK HE'S SWEET ON HER.

HE'S A TALL, GOOD-LOOKING GUY.

AIN'T NOTHING BUT A SHOWOFF...

ROLLS HIS T-SHIRT SLEEVES UP TO HIS SHOULDERS

SO YOU CAN SEE THE MUSCLES WHEN HE'S SLICING THE ROAST.

HE DELIVERED LAMB CHOPS AT LYDIA'S

AND HIS TRUCK STAYED OUT FRONT FROM 7:30 TO 11:30.

HE WASN'T DELIVERING LAMB CHOPS FOR NO FOUR HOURS.

WELL, GOOBER...

I'LL TELL YA...

YOU CAN TAKE IT FROM A GUY THAT KNOWS WOMEN

AND KNOWS THE MAN/WOMAN RELATIONSHIP--

THINGS LOOK BAD RIGHT NOW

BUT THE SUN'S GONNA SHINE IN YOUR BACK DOOR SOME DAY.

* AND KISS HER ONCE FOR ME...

WELL...

WELL, MY, AREN'T YOU THE FASHION PLATE?

WELL, NO MORE THAN ANY OTHER NIGHT

WHEN I'M GOING OUT.

ISN'T THAT A NEW TIE, ANDY?

WELL, YEAH, I JUST, UH...

PICKED UP THE FIRST ONE OFF THE RACK.

WHAT TIME ARE YOU GOING TO MEET HELEN?

OH, A FEW MINUTES YET.

OH, MY GOODNESS, DID YOU SEE WHAT TIME IT IS?

WELL, THIS IS TAKING A LOT LONGER THAN I THOUGHT.

OH, AND I HAVE A DATE WITH ANDY TONIGHT.

DID YOU SAY THAT MR. TWIFORD

HAD TO SEE THE RESULTS OF THIS SYSTEM

AT TOMORROW MORNING'S MEETING?

HE DID SAY THAT, BUT IF YOU HAVE A DATE...

OH, NO, WE, UH, WE BETTER STAY AND GET THIS FINISHED NOW.

WELL, I'LL, UH, I'LL GO CALL ANDY.

AND THEN AFTER THE MOVIE

I THOUGHT MAYBE WE'D GO AT THE ELKS CLUB AND DANCE.

WELL, THAT SOUNDS NICE

BUT, ANDY, IF I WERE YOU, I'D TALK UP A LITTLE MORE.

WELL, TALK ABOUT THINGS YOU KNOW ABOUT--

BOWLING, ANYTHING.

MMM, YEAH..

OH, THAT'S PROBABLY CLARA EDWARDS

ABOUT THE SOCIAL.

HELLO?

OH, HI, HONEY, I WAS JUST FIXING

TO COME OVER AND PICK YOU UP.

OH.

OH, WELL, NO, I CAN UNDERSTAND THAT.

OH, SURE, THOSE THINGS CAN HAPPEN.

RIGHT, RIGHT.

ALL RIGHT, BYE.

SHE HAS TO WORK.

WITH FRANK?

IT'S THAT GRADING MANUAL.

OH, DEAR, AND YOU GOT ALL DRESSED UP AND EVERYTHING.

WELL, I GUESS I'LL JUST CALL UP GOOBER.

HE SAID SOMETHING ABOUT GOING TO THE MOVIES.

SHAME TO WASTE A CLEAN SHIRT.

YOU WANT TO KNOW SOMETHING? WHAT?

THE MONSTERS FROM MARS

WASN'T NO DIFFERENT THAN THE MONSTERS FROM THE MOON.

REMEMBER THAT? YEAH.

THE ONLY DIFFERENCE IS,

THESE MONSTERS HAD FOUR SETS OF TEETH.

MOON MONSTERS ONLY GOT THREE. YEAH.

I WAS WATCHING FOR THAT. MM-HMM.

WELL...HERE IT IS, QUARTER TO 10:00.

FEEL LIKE DOING ANYTHING?

LIKE WHAT?

YOU WANT TO GO TO JASPER?

I HEAR THEY GOT A NEW TRACTOR DISPLAY OVER THERE

THAT'S REALLY WORTH SEEING.

NO, I DON'T THINK SO, GOOBER.

I WANT TO CATCH THAT BEFORE IT CLOSES.

WELL, LISTEN, IF YO WANT TO GO...

IT AIN'T NO FUN GOING ALONE.

WELL... I'LL TELL YOU WHAT, GOOBER.

OH, I GUESS YOU'RE FIGURING ON CALLING HELEN,

SEE IF SHE'S FINISHED WORK?

NO, SHE'LL BE BUSY ALL EVENING.

WHAT I WAS GOING TO SAY IS, YOU FEEL LIKE HAVING A HAMBURGER?

HEY, THAT'S A GOOD IDEA.

THAT POPCORN DON'T STAY WITH YA TOO LONG.

LISTEN, ANDY, IF YOU DON'T WANT

TO GO SEE THEM TRACTORS WITH ME

WELL, MAYBE I'LL ASK THAT FRANK TO GO.

YOU KNOW, HE SURE IS SMART.

WELL, HEY, FRANK, WE WAS JUST TALKING ABOUT YOU.

HI.

HI. HI.

UH, UH, GOOBER, YOU KNOW FRANK?

YEAH, HI. HI, GOOBER.

UH, ANDY...

FRANK, HELEN.

OH, ANDY...

THERE'S PLENTY OF ROOM. SIT DOWN.

O-OKAY.

ALL RIGHT...

WE'LL SIT RIGHT DOWN.

HOW ARE YOU DOING?

FINE, ANDY.

WE'VE BEEN OVER AT SCHOOL, WORKING.

OH, GOOD.

WAS YOU TWO AT THE SCHOOL BY YOURSELF?

WELL, MOST OF THE TEACHERS WERE THERE, EARLIER.

IT WAS THAT NEW GRADING SYSTEM.

OH, IT'S EXCELLENT. IT'S JUST EXCELLENT.

WE-WE'VE BEEN WORKING ON IT ALL EVENING.

I GUESS YOU HAVE TO STAY RIGHT WITH A THING LIKE THAT.

OH, IT'S A LOT OF WORK.

YOU GOT TO STAY RIGHT WITH IT.

OH, YOU CAN SAY THAT AGAIN.

I ALWAYS THOUGHT THEY CLOSED THE SCHOOL BUILDING AT 7:00.

WELL, THEY DO, GOOBER

UNLESS ONE OF THE TEACHERS IS INVOLVED IN SOMETHING...

WORKING OR... GRADING.

GRADING. GRADING.

Frank: WE FINISHED

A LITTLE EARLIER THAN WE EXPECTED

AND WE THOUGHT WE'D HAVE A BITE.

THAT'S RIGHT.

I GUESS YOU CAN GET HUNGRY.

WHAT DID YOU TWO DO?

WELL, WE...

WE WENT TO SEE THE MONSTER FROM MARS.

TROUBLE IS, WHEN YOU SEE ONE MONSTER, YOU'VE SEEN 'EM ALL.

I THINK ANDY'D ENJOYED IT MORE

IF YOU'D BEEN SITTING NEXT TO HIM

INSTEAD OF ME, THOUGH.

I'LL HAVE A HAMBURGER

WITH KETCHUP, MUSTARD, HOT SAUCE, PICKLE AND ONIONS

FRENCH FRIES ON THE SIDE AND A ORANGE TO DRINK.

WHAT YOU WANT, ANDY? JUST COFFEE.

HE'LL JUST HAVE COFFEE.

WELL, THIS SURE HAS BEEN

A NICE EVENING.

SAY, ANDY

THEY CHANGE THE MOVIE TOMORROW NIGHT.

IF HELEN AND FRANK HAVE TO WORK AGAIN...

OH, NO, NO. WE'RE THROUGH. WE'VE GOT IT ALL WRAPPED UP.

$22.95 FOR IT DOWN THE STREET.

IT'S A NICER STORE

BUT I'LL NEVER GO THERE AGAIN.

IT ISN'T SEVEN DOLLARS' WORTH OF NICER.

IT'S JUST THIS PLAIN LITTLE DRESS

BUTTONS DOWN THE FRONT, SHORT SLEEVES...

YOU LIKE HIM, DON'T YOU?

WHAT?

FRANK SMITH, THAT'S WHAT.

OH, ANDY.

YOU SURE FINISHED WORK EARLY, DIDN'T YOU?

WHAT ARE YOU ACCUSING ME OF?

I'M NOT ACCUSING YOU.

YOU FINISHED WORK EARLY.

YES, WE DID. NOW, WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO GET AT?

NOTHING. NOT A THING IN THIS WORLD.

ALL I KNOW IS I ASKED YOU FOR A DATE.

YOU SAID, "WE USUALLY HAVE

OUR MIDDLE-OF-THE-WEEK DATE ON THURSDAY."

YOU FINALLY CONSENTED TO GIVE ME A DATE

THEN CALLED ME UP AND SAID YOU HAD TO WORK

ON THAT BLAMED GRADING MANUAL

SO I CALLED UP GOOBER

AND WE WENT IN THE DINER AND THERE YOU ARE

SITTING ON THE SAME SIDE OF THE BOOTH WITH FRANK.

YES, WE USUALLY DO HAVE

OUR MIDDLE-OF-THE-WEEK DATE ON THURSDAY

AND, YES, WE DI HAVE TO WORK LATE

AND, YES, WE DID FINISH THE BLAMED GRADING MANUAL EARLY.

AND WE WENT TO HAVE SOMETHING TO EAT AND HAD A NICE CHAT

AND WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH THAT?

NOTHING IN THE WHOLE WORLD THE MATTER WITH THAT.

I'M JUST TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHERE I STAND.

I MEAN, IF YOU WANT TO RUN WITH ME, YOU RUN WITH ME.

AND IF YOU WANT TO RUN WITH HIM, YOU CAN RUN WITH HIM.

JUST KINDA MAKE UP YOUR MIND.

WELL, LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING ABOUT FRANK SMITH.

HE HAPPENS TO BE A VERY PLEASANT MAN WHO WORKS VERY HARD

AND HE HAPPENS TO HAVE A GREAT DEAL OF KNOWLEDGE

AND HE HAPPENS TO BE VERY PLEASANT TO TALK TO

AND THAT'S WHERE IT BEGINS AND THAT'S WHERE IT ENDS

AND IF YOU INSIST ON REFERRING

TO GOING OUT WITH SOMEBODY

BY SUCH A VULGAR TERM AS "RUNNING WITH"

THEN, YES, I WILL DECIDE

WITH WHOM I WILL AND WILL NOT RUN.

ANDY, YOU CAME OVER HERE ACCUSING ME

OF ALL SORTS OF IRREGULARITIES AND I THINK...

WELL, I JUST DON'T THINK THAT YOU HAVE THE RIGHT

TO INTERFERE IN MY OWN PERSONAL LIFE.

WHO I GO OUT WITH HAPPENS TO BE MY OWN PERSONAL...

I'LL GO OUT WITH WHOMEVER I PLEA...

AND WHAT'S MORE, I...

Goober: I THOUGHT I SAW Y'ALL.

I JUST REMEMBERED THE MOVIE, THE ANTEATERS FROM OUTER SPACE.

I'LL ASK FRANK IF HE WANTS TO GO.

DID HE GET OFF ALL RIGHT?

OH, YES, HE TOOK THE 4:00 TRAIN.

HE WAS A NICE FELLA, YOU KNOW THAT?

WASN'T HE? HE WAS SO INTERESTING.

I THOROUGHLY ENJOYED THAT EVENING HE SPENT WITH US.

TOO BAD HE COULDN'T STAY A LITTLE LONGER.

GIVE US A CHANCE TO HAVE HIM OVER AGAIN.

YOU MIGHT GET ANOTHER CHANCE.

HE'S COMING BACK IN ABOUT A MONTH

TO CHECK THE RESULTS OF THAT GRADING SYSTEM.

OH? MM-HMM.

MIGHT AS WELL HAVE HIM OVER THE FIRST NIGHT HE'S IN TOWN.

YES, OF COURSE.

WANT TO LISTEN TO A LITTLE MUSIC?

OH, FINE.

ANDY...

I'M CERTAIN YOU REMEMBER YOUR VALEDICTORY ADDRESS.

WHY DON'T YOU DO IT FOR HELEN? I KNOW SHE'D ENJOY IT.

FELLOW STUDENTS, MEMBERS OF THE FACULTY,

HONORED GUESTS, WE WHO ARE GOING FORTH INTO THE WORLD...