Original subtitles

STARRING ANDY GRIFFITH...

WITH RONNY HOWARD...

ALSO STARRING DON KNOTTS.

MORNING.

MORNING.

AH, OH, BOY.

OH, YOU LOOK TIRED THIS MORNING.

WELL, I WAS OUT A LITTLE BIT LATE LAST NIGHT.

WHAT DID YOU DO? HAVE A DATE?

YEAH.

WHAT TIME DID YOU GO TO BED?

OH, I DON'T KNOW.

I DON'T THINK MY HEAD HIT THE PILLOW

BEFORE A QUARTER TO 11:00.

MMM.

I DON'T KNOW HOW YOU KEEP UP A PACE LIKE THAT.

WHERE'D YOU GO

WELL, WE STARTED OUT AT MORELLI'S.

YEAH. THEN WHAT?

WELL, WE WENT OVER TO HER HOUSE AND WATCHED A LITTLE "TV."

OH.

LIGHTS OFF, HUH?

YEAH. IT'S KIND OF HARD ON YOUR EYES

TO WATCH TV WITH THE LIGHTS ON.

YEAH, BOY, YOU AND THELMA LOU

STAYIN' RIGHT AT IT, AIN'T YOU?

WELL, IT, UH...

IT WASN'T THELMA LOU.

IT WAS JUANITA, ACTUALLY.

FROM THE DINER?

YEAH. YOU DON'T NEED TO MENTION THAT TO ANYBODY.

WELL, I WON'T TELL IT AROUND

BUT YOU OUGHT NOT TO BE TAKIN' HER TO MORELLI'S.

EVERYBODY GOES OUT THERE.

YEAH, I SUPPOSE.

DID YOU HAVE A DATE WITH HELEN LAST NIGHT?

NO.

YOU GOT ONE WITH HER TONIGHT?

MM-HMM.

WHERE ARE YOU GOING?

MMM, I DON'T KNOW.

THE MOVIES.

MMM. THOUGHT SO.

WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH THAT? WE LIKE TO GO TO THE MOVIES.

OH, I DON'T KNOW.

IT'S JUST THAT YOU AND HELEN ARE IN SUCH A RUT.

YOU TAKE HER TO THE MOVIES AND YOU BUY HER A SODA

AND YOU WALK HER HOME. GOOD NIGHT.

TOUT DE SUITE AND THAT'S IT.

I MEAN, YOU COULD GO ON LIKE THAT FOR YEARS.

WHAT DO YOU WANT US TO DO?

GO OVER TO MORELLI'S

AND THEN GO TO HER HOUSE AND TURN OFF THE LIGHTS

AND WATCH TV?

IT BEATS GOING TO THE MOVIES, I'LL TELL YOU THAT.

HI, ANDY. HELLO, BARNEY.

Andy: HI, HELEN.

HI, HELEN. ANDY AND I WERE JUST TALKING ABOUT YOU.

SOMETHING NICE, I HOPE.

OH, THE BEST, THE BEST.

I UNDERSTAND YOU TWO ARE GOING OUT ON THE TOWN TONIGHT.

OH, WELL, THAT'S WHY I STOPPED IN, ANDY.

I CAN'T MAKE IT TONIGHT.

WHAT?

WELL, I'VE GOT ALL THESE PAPERS TO GRADE.

I HAVE TO HAVE THEM FIRST THING IN THE MORNING.

I'LL PROBABLY BE AT IT TILL AFTER MIDNIGHT.

WELL, COULDN'T YOU DO SOME TONIGHT

AND SOME IN THE MORNING?

I HAVE TO HAVE THEM ALL IN THE MORNING.

WELL, LISTEN, I HAVE AN IDEA.

WHY DON'T YOU GIVE ME THOSE PAPERS TO CORRECT?

I GOT NOTHING TO DO TONIGHT.

WHAT SUBJECT IS IT?

WELL, BARNEY, IT'S HISTORY.

HISTORY? THAT'S MY SUBJECT!

GIVE ME THOSE PAPERS.

I'LL HAVE THEM MARKED AND CORRECTED IN NO TIME.

WELL, THANK YOU, BARNEY, BUT I COULDN'T DO THAT.

WHY NOT? I'M GLAD TO DO IT.

WELL, THANKS, BARNEY, BUT NO.

WELL, SUIT YOURSELF.

HISTORY JUST HAPPENS TO BE MY SUBJECT.

I'M SORRY, ANDY.

MMM, WELL.

CAN'T BE HELPED, I GUESS.

YOU REALIZE HOW LITTLE TIME

WE'VE BEEN SPENDING WITH ONE ANOTHER?

OH, BOY. I KNOW THAT.

YOU KNOW, IT ISN'T ALWAYS MY FAULT, ANDY.

YOU BROKE THE LAST DATE.

YOU HAD THAT MEETING AT THE MAYOR'S OFFICE.

OH, YEAH, YEAH.

YOU KNOW WHAT THE TROUBLE IS?

YOU TWO ARE SO BUSY WITH YOUR JOBS

YOU DON'T HAVE ANY TIME FOR EACH OTHER.

WELL, IT'S TRUE.

WITH BOTH OF YOU, IT'S NOTHING BUT WORK, WORK, WORK.

NO TIME AT ALL

FOR THE REALLY IMPORTANT THINGS IN LIFE.

YOU WANT TO WORK ON FILES OR SOMETHING?

I AM SORRY, ANDY.

YEAH, WELL, WHAT ABOUT TOMORROW NIGHT?

OH, I HAVE CHOIR PRACTICE.

OH, YEAH. I'VE GOT A DEACONS' MEETING, TOO.

WHAT ABOUT THURSDAY?

NO, HE CAN'T THURSDAY.

PEACE OFFICERS' BOWLING TOURNAMENT

IN MT. PILOT.

REMEMBER?

WELL, HE IS RIGHT.

I CAN'T GET OUT OF IT.

HOW ABOUT FRIDAY NIGHT?

ANDY, I'VE GOT P.T.A. MEETING.

OH. WELL, MAYBE I COULD WALK YOU HOME?

WE COULD SPEND A FEW MINUTES.

OH, THAT WOULD BE NICE.

WE HAVE TO GRAB A MINUTE HERE AND THERE, DON'T WE?

WE SURE DO.

WELL, ONE OF THESE TIMES, I'LL TAKE YOU OFF SOMEWHERE

AND WE'LL SPEND A WHOLE DAY.

HEY!

HEY! YOU JUST GAVE ME A GREAT IDEA.

YOU WANT TO SPEND A WHOLE DAY TOGETHER, RIGHT?

A WHOLE DAY. AM I RIGHT?

OKAY, YOU GOT IT.

YOU KNOW WHAT DAY? SATURDAY.

I'M MAKING YOU A PRESENT OF SATURDAY.

WHAT? I MEAN IT.

YOU AND HELEN MAKE A PICNIC LUNCH.

GO OUT TO MYERS' LAKE.

TAKE THE WHOLE DAY

FISH, SWIM, LOAF.

DO WHATEVER YOU WANT.

I'M MAKING YOU A PRESENT OF THE WHOLE DAY.

NOW, HOW DOES THAT SOUND?

WELL, THAT'S AWFULLY NICE OF YOU, BARN

BUT I CAN'T DO THAT.

WELL, WHY NOT?

'CAUSE I GOT TO WORK SATURDAY.

I GOT A JOB.

BESIDES, I GOT TO DROP OPIE AT THE MOVIES

AND TAKE AUNT BEE SHOPPING-- A BUNCH OF STUFF.

I'LL DO ALL THAT. I'LL DO ALL THAT.

I'LL TAKE CARE OF EVERYTHING.

I COULDN'T MAKE IT SATURDAY, EITHER.

I'VE GOT A LOT OF WORK TO DO.

WELL, LIKE WHAT?

WELL, I'VE GOT TO FILL OUT THE STATE ATTENDANCE REPORT.

WELL, DO THAT NEXT SATURDAY.

WELL, I HAVE THE TV MAN COMING TO REPAIR THE SET

AND I HAVE LAUNDRY TO DO

AND I PROMISED TO TAKE A LOAD OF BOOKS

OVER TO THE HOSPITAL.

THINGS YOU CAN'T DO DURING THE WEEK.

I'LL DO ALL THAT.

NOW, I'M NOT TAKING "NO" FOR ANSWER.

SATURDAY, YOU, HELEN, PICNIC.

THE WHOLE DAY ALONE TOGETHER.

BIRDS AND THE BEES.

WELL.

WELL, I WON'T LISTEN TO ANY MORE EXCUSES.

WHATEVER YOU HAVE TO DO, I'LL DO IT.

THAT'S IT. FINIS, THE END, FINAL.

NOW, WHAT DO YOU SAY?

WELL, MYERS' LAKE'S A PRETTY PLACE.

SURE, NOBODY WILL BOTHER YOU OVER THERE.

IT'S JUST OVER IN STOKES COUNTY A FEW MILES.

AS FOR TRANSPORTATION

I'LL HAVE GOOBER DRIVE YOU OVER THERE IN THE TRUCK.

WELL.

WHAT DO YOU THINK, ANDY?

WHY NOT?

OH, BARNEY, YOU ARE SWEET.

THANK YOU.

HOW FUN.

OH, LOOK. I'D BETTER GET STARTED ON THESE RIGHT NOW.

I'LL SEE YOU SATURDAY.

YES, EARLY.

EARLY, EARLY

BARNEY, THANK YOU.

SUNUP.

YEAH.

WELL, THANKS AGAIN.

BYE.

OH, GOLLY.

BARN, THAT'S JUST ABOUT THE NICEST THING I EVER HEARD OF.

ALL THAT WORK.

WELL, I DID SOMETHING FOR YOU.

NOW YOU DO SOMETHING FOR ME.

WHAT'S THAT?

MAKE ME YOUR BEST MAN.

IS IT GOING TO BE A CHURCH WEDDING?

OR ARE YOU GOING TO ELOPE?

OR WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO?

YOU WANT TO WORK ON THE FILES, OR SOMETHING?

WHAT'S THE MATTER? IS THERE SOMETHING WRONG?

WELL, I DON'T KNOW.

THIS JUST AIN'T THE KIND OF A VEHICLE THAT YOU'D USE

TO TRANSPORT TWO PEOPLE THAT ARE ROMANTICALLY INCLINED.

YOU UNDERSTAND?

SAY IT AGAIN.

I MEAN...

WELL, DO YOU HAVE ANY OTHER KIND OF A VEHICLE YOU CAN USE

TO TAKE THEM OUT IN THE WOODS, THEN?

WELL, THERE'S WALLY'S PERSONAL CAR,

BUT HE DON'T LET NOBODY DRIVE THAT.

HIS DAUGHTER TOOK IT ONCE.

YOU KNOW HIS MARRIED DAUGHTER, VERDI?

WELL, SHE RUN IT WITHOUT WATER, AND THE RADIATOR DRIED UP,

AND EVER SINCE THEN, HE DON'T LET NOBODY DRIVE THAT CAR.

WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH THE PICKUP?

WELL, I DON'T KNOW. IT'S JUST...

A GASSY SMELL.

YOU KNOW, IT SMELLS OF GAS.

IF YOU WAS PARKED IN A FILLING STATION ALL DAY LONG,

YOU'D SMELL GASSY, TOO.

WELL...

WASH HER UP OR SPRAY HER DOWN OR SOMETHING.

RIGHT, BARN.

KNOW WHAT ELSE?

I'M GONNA PUT A BLANKET OVER THE FRONT SEAT.

WHENEVER I TAKE THE PICKUP OUT FOR VISITIN' OR ANYTHING ELSE,

WELL, I ALWAYS PUT A BLANKET OVER THE FRONT SEAT.

THAT WAY YOU DON'T STICK TO THE LEATHER.

YOU ALL THREE GONNA RIDE UP FRONT, HUH?

UNLESS YOU WANT ANDY TO SIT IN THE BACK.

NO!

YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT. HE'D GET A SLIVER BACK THERE.

WELL, I GUESS IT'LL BE ALL RIGHT,

BUT JUST REMEMBER ONE THING, GOOBER.

YOU LET THEM DO ALL THE TALKIN'.

DON'T YOUR HORN IN. HUH?

WELL, THESE ARE TWO PEOPLE HEADING FOR A RENDEZVOUS,

AND IT'S JUST BARELY POSSIBLE THAT AS A RESULT,

THEY MAY GET MATRIMONIAL INTENTIONS.

YOU UNDERSTAND?

SAY IT AGAIN.

JUST GET RID OF THE GASSY SMELL.

RIGHT, BARN.

LOOKS LIKE WE WON'T HAVE TIME

FOR ANYTHING BUT FOOD.

WELL, I WOULDN'T SAY THAT, EITHER.

WOULD YOU GET THAT?

I FORGOT THE POTATO SALAD.

HELLO?

HI, AND. LISTEN, IS GOOBER THERE YET?

OH, HI, BARN. NO, NOT YET.

HE'LL BE THERE ANY MINUTE.

HE LEFT ABOUT TEN MINUTES AGO.

HOW ARE YOU DOING?

OH, ALL RIGHT.

BOY, THAT WAS QUITE A LIST OF ERRANDS YOU TWO GAVE ME TO DO.

DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT OR ANYTHING.

I MEAN, I'M GETTING IT ALL DONE, ALL RIGHT.

I ALREADY RAN THOSE BOOKS OVER TO THE HOSPITAL

AND PICKED UP THE STAMPS AT THE POST OFFICE.

NOW I THOUGHT I'D PICK UP AUNT BEE AND TAKE HER SHOPPING--

GET HER OUT OF THE WAY.

TOOK ON MORE THAN YOU THOUGHT, HUH?

NO, I'M GLAD TO DO IT. GLAD TO DO IT.

I'D DO ANYTHING TO GET YOU TWO TOGETHER FOR A WHILE.

LISTEN, DON'T YOU WORRY ABOUT A THING, YOU UNDERSTAND?

I DON'T WANT YOU TO HAVE ANYTHING ON YOUR MIND, EXCEPT--

WELL, YOU KNOW.

YEAH, I KNOW.

LISTEN, BARN, I THINK GOOBER'S HERE NOW.

I'LL HANG UP, OKAY?

OH, HELLO, GOOBER. COME ON IN.

MORNING, MISS HELEN.

HEY, ANDY.

HEY, GOOB.

TRUCK ALL READY?

YEAH, IT'S OUTSIDE.

GASSED UP, ALL READY TO GO.

HEY, LOOK AT ALL THAT FOOD.

WOULD YOU LIKE SOMETHING, GOOBER?

WELL, MAYBE ONE OF THEM DRUMSTICKS.

FINE.

YOU KNOW, BARNEY SAYS

I GOT TO TAKE REAL GOOD CARE OF YOU TWO.

TODAY COULD BE A VERY IMPORTANT DAY FOR YOU.

WHAT?

UH, NOTHING.

LET'S, UH...

BOY, I SURE LOVE PICNICS.

HEY, REMEMBER A MOVIE CALLED PICNIC?

YEAH.

REMEMBER CARY GRANT?

CARY GRANT WASN'T IN PICNIC.

HE WASN'T? NO.

SPEAKING OF CARY GRANT, I DO HIM, YOU KNOW.

YOU WHAT?

I TAKE OFF ON CARY GRANT.

WOULD YOU LIKE TO HEAR?

AH, WELL, GOOB, WE OUGHT...

GLAD TO DO IT.

CARY GRANT.

JUDY, JUDY, JUDY.

GOOD, GOOB.

BUT CARY GRANT WASN'T IN PICNIC.

IT WAS WILLIAM HOLDEN WHO WAS IN PICNIC.

I CAN'T DO WILLIAM HOLDEN. HE TALKS LIKE EVERYBODY ELSE.

EVERYTHING'S READY HERE.

WE CAN GO.

SURE CAN'T DO WILLIAM HOLDEN

BUT I CAN DO CARY GRANT.

JUDY, JUDY, JUDY.

NICE SHADY SPOT WITH A VIEW OF THE LAKE.

OH, THIS IS BOUND TO BE PRETTY.

LET'S JUST PUT THIS BLANKET DOWN RIGHT HERE.

THROW YOUR SWEATER THERE.

ABOUT 3:00, THE SUN WILL GO DOWN PAST THEM TREES

AND IT WON'T BE SHADY NO MORE.

THE SUN WON'T HURT US, GOOBER.

THERE WE ARE.

SUCH A BEAUTIFUL SPOT.

YEAH.

A NICE VIEW OF THE LAKE AND ALL.

CAN'T SEE IT WHEN YOU'RE SITTIN' DOWN.

WHAT?

CAN'T SEE THE LAKE WHEN YOU'RE SITTIN' DOWN.

GOT TO STAND UP TO SEE THE LAKE.

WELL, GOOBER, IF WE GET A REAL STRONG URGE

TO SEE THE LAKE, WE'LL STAND UP.

BARNEY SAYS EVERYTHING'S GOT TO BE JUST PERFECT FOR YOU.

IT'S FINE, GOOBER. THANKS.

WELL, IF IT'S OKAY WITH YOU, I GUESS IT'S OKAY WITH ME.

I GOT TO BE GOING.

OH, WELL, WHY DON'T YOU TAKE A SANDWICH, GOOBER?

WELL, I...

GO AHEAD, GOOBER, TAKE ONE. TAKE TWO.

SO YOU DON'T GET HUNGRY ON THE RIDE BACK TO TOWN.

WELL, IF YOU INSIST.

SURE IS NICE OF YOU FOLKS TO ASK ME TO STAY

AND HAVE A SANDWICH.

Barney: ANDY!

ANDY!

OVER HERE, BARN.

WHAT'S UP?

NOTHING MUCH.

LISTEN, HELEN, YOU FORGOT TO LEAVE THE KEY.

WHAT KEY?

THE KEY TO YOUR HOUSE.

TV GUY IS COMING, ISN'T HE?

HOW DID YOU FIGURE HE WAS GOING TO GET IN?

BOY, IF YOU DON'T MIND MY SAYING SO

THAT WAS A LITTLE SILLY OF YOU.

'COURSE, I SUPPOSE YOU WERE PRETTY EXCITED.

WELL, BARNEY, I LEFT THE KEY UNDER THE MAT.

I TOLD GEORGE WHERE IT WOULD BE.

UNDER THE MAT?

OH. YOU DID?

HUH. WELL...

I'M SORRY YOU HAD TO COME ALL THIS WAY OUT.

OH, FORGET THAT.

NO HARM DONE THERE.

I'M JUST SORRY I HAD TO DISTURB YOU.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING HANGING AROUND HERE?

THEY ASKED ME TO STAY AND HAVE A SANDWICH WITH THEM.

TAKE THAT SANDWICH AND GO BACK TO THE TRUCK.

DIDN'T I TELL YOU 100 TIMES THEY WANTED TO BE ALONE?

ALONE!

GO ON BACK TO THE TRUCK.

GO ON!

WELL, THEY ASKED ME.

BOY.

GEE, AND, I'M SORRY ABOUT THIS.

YOU KNOW I'D NEVER DISTURB YOU IF I DIDN'T HAVE TO.

YEAH, SURE, BARN.

WELL...

I'LL BE GOING, TOO.

WELL, GO ON.

OH, OKAY. I'LL SEE YA.

Barney: DON'T LET ANYTHING BOTHER YOU NOW!

MMM-MMM, MMM-MMM, MMM.

NOW.

YOU KEEP DOING THAT

YOU'RE GOING TO MAKE MY POOR OLD HEAD GRAYER THAN IT IS.

HEY, NOW, STOP.

OH, DON'T.

Barney: ANDY!

YEAH?

ANDY...

OH...WELL... HI, AND.

YEAH.

HI, HELEN.

UH, OVER HERE, OPE.

LISTEN, ANDY, A THOUSAND PARDONS.

YOU KNOW I'D NEVER BOTHER YOU AT A TIME LIKE THIS

IF IT WASN'T A REAL EMERGENCY.

WHAT'S THE MATTER? IS OPIE HURT?

NO, NOT THAT. HERE, OPE.

HERE. COME HERE.

HI, PA. HI, MISS CRUMP.

HI, OPE. HI.

HERE'S THE THING--

I WAS ABOUT TO TAKE OPIE TO THE MOVIES...

YEAH.

YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHAT'S PLAYING AT THAT THEATER TODAY?

NO.

IT'S TWO OF THEM HORROR PICTURES.

ALL THE OTHER KIDS ARE GOING.

THE HOUSE OF BLOOD AND THE BEAST THAT ATE MINNESOTA.

I JUST DON'T WANT THE RESPONSIBILITY.

I MEAN, IF HE'S GONNA GET TRAUMAS

I DON'T WANT THEM ON MY HEAD.

I CALLED AUNT BEE, AND SHE AIN'T HOME,

SO THERE WAS NOTHING TO DO

BUT TO, WELL, LEAVE IT UP TO YOU.

PA, I SEEN A LOT WORSE PICTURES THAN THESE.

THESE AIN'T EVEN SUPPOSED TO BE SCARY.

IF IT'S OKAY WITH YOU, IT'S OKAY,

BUT I JUST DON'T WANT HIS WARPED PSYCHE ON MY HEAD, THAT'S ALL.

WELL, BARN, IT'S LIKE THIS...

YEAH?

I DON'T SEE ANYTHING WRONG WITH THE PICTURES.

GEE, THANKS, PA.

THAT'S ALL I WANTED TO HEAR.

MY JOB'S FINISHED. LET'S GO, OPE.

LET'S GET OUT OF HERE AND LET THEM GET BACK

TO WHAT THEY WERE DOING.

GO BACK AND DO WHATEVER YOU WERE DOING.

WHAT WERE YOU DOING?

BARN!

SOUNDS PRETTY GOOD.

NOW YOU CAN DO WHAT YOU WERE DOING.

COME ON, OPE.

HE'S TOO MUCH, YOU KNOW THAT?

YES, HE IS.

WELL...

TAKE A WALK?

FINE.

YEAH.

Barney: BYE, AND! HAVE FUN!

WELL...

I GUESS THIS IS... THIS IS FAR ENOUGH.

I HOPE SO.

WELL, AT LEAST NOBODY CAN WALK RIGHT IN ON US.

OH, YOU WANT TO BET?

LET'S HOPE NOT.

WHAT'S THE MATTER?

ANDY!

ANDY!

ANDY, YOU KNOW I'D NEVER DO A THING LIKE THIS TO YOU

UNLESS IT WAS ABSOLUTELY NECESSARY.

WHAT'S THE TROUBLE, BARNEY?

GEORGE, COME HERE.

WELL, HELLO, GEORGE.

HELLO, MISS CRUMP. HELLO, SHERIFF.

GEORGE.

BEAUTIFUL SPOT HERE. BEAUTIFUL DAY.

BEAUTIFUL. JUST BEAUTIFUL.

YEAH. WHAT'S THE TROUBLE?

WELL, UH, BARNEY HERE THOUGHT MAYBE I OUGHT TO COME DOWN.

SURE I DID. IT'S A BIG JOB.

I DIDN'T WANT HIM TO TAKE THE SET

ALL THE WAY INTO THE SHOP UNLESS HE EXPLAINED

WHAT WAS WRONG SO YOU COULD MAKE UP YOUR OWN MIND.

GO AHEAD, GEORGE. TELL HER.

YEAH, WELL, YOUR LINEAR CONTROL IS COMPLETELY SHOT.

THAT'S WHY YOUR PICTURE'S ALL WIGGLY.

THELMA LOU'S WAS LIKE THAT

AND YOU FIXED THAT RIGHT IN THE HOUSE.

YEAH...WELL, THAT WAS DIFFERENT.

WELL, I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT IT.

BARN, I DON'T KNOW WHY YOU HAD TO BRING GEORGE ALL THE WAY OUT HERE.

IF HE SAYS THE SET'S GOT TO GO IN THE SHOP

WHY DON'T YOU LET HIM TAKE THE SET IN THE SHOP?

YEAH.

IT'S A BIG JOB, ANDY.

GEORGE, JUST TAKE THE SET IN THE SHOP.

YEAH.

NOW DON'T BOTHER US ANYMORE, BARN. OKAY?

OKAY, I JUST THOUGHT I WAS,

YOU KNOW, DOING WHAT WAS BEST.

YEAH. YEAH.

LET'S GET IN THE BOAT, HELEN.

LOOKS LIKE THE SHERIFF'S KIND OF SORE, BARNEY.

YEAH, THEN WE BETTER LEAVE HIM ALONE.

THEY LOOKED A LOT BIGGER WHEN YOU CAUGHT THEM.

THEY ALWAYS LOOK BIGGER IN THE WATER.

BE GOOD. I'LL FRY 'EM UP. WE'LL HAVE 'EM FOR SUPPER.

HELLO THERE, FOLKS. HI.

YOU HAD SOME LUCK.

A LITTLE, YEAH.

GOOD.

MY NAME'S PETERSON.

I'M THE GAME WARDEN IN THIS DISTRICT.

I'M GLAD TO SEE YOU.

THIS IS HELEN CRUMP. I'M ANDY TAYLOR.

HOW DO YOU DO?

COULD I SEE YOUR LICENSE, PLEASE, MR. TAYLOR?

OH, SURE.

HERE, I GOT IT.

WHAT'S THE MATTER?

I MUST HAVE LEFT MY WALLET IN THE UNIFORM.

OH, NO.

YOU DON'T HAVE A LICENSE?

I GOT A LICENSE.

I JUST DON'T HAVE IT WITH ME.

I SEE, BUT YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO HAVE A LICENSE WITH YOU

WHEN YOU FISH.

THERE'S A FINE.

WELL, YEAH...

UM, LISTEN, I DON'T RECKON IT WOULD MAKE ANY DIFFERENCE

BUT I'M THE SHERIFF OVER IN MAYBERRY.

IS THAT SO? THEN YOU SHOULD KNOW THE LAW, SHOULDN'T YOU?

COME ON, FOLKS.

WE CAN GO UP TO THE JUSTICE OF THE PEACE

AND SET YOUR FINE.

WELL...

HELLO, BARNEY?

NO, THIS IS GOOBER.

BARNEY'S NOT HERE RIGHT NOW.

OH, WELL, GOOBER, THIS IS ANDY.

ANDY WHO?

ANDY TAYLOR.

YOU MEAN SHERIFF ANDY TAYLOR?

YEAH, SHERIFF ANDY TAYLOR.

NOW, LISTEN, GOOBER...

YOU CAN'T BE SHERIFF ANDY TAYLOR.

SHERIFF ANDY TAYLOR'S OUT IN THE WOODS

WITH MISS CRUMP.

WHICH ANDY TAYLOR ARE YOU?

NO, GOOBER, LISTEN.

THIS IS SHERIFF ANDY TAYLOR.

I WANT YOU TO GIVE BARNEY A MESSAGE FOR ME, OKAY?

ALL RIGHT. WHAT IS IT?

ALL RIGHT, NOW LISTEN CAREFUL.

TELL BARNEY THAT HELEN AND I

ARE OVER AT THE JUSTICE OF THE PEACE

IN SILER CITY.

I WAS FISHING AND I DIDN'T HAVE A LICENSE.

YEAH.

YOU REALLY SHERIFF ANDY TAYLOR?

LISTEN, GOOBER.

JUST TELL BARNEY TO GET OVER HERE

AS FAST AS HE CAN WITH $25, OKAY?

$25. ALL RIGHT, ANDY, I'LL DO IT.

WAIT, ANDY!

HERE COMES BARNEY NOW. ANDY?

ANDY? HE HUNG UP.

WHAT'S UP, GOOBER?

WAS THAT ANDY ON THE PHONE?

YEAH.

NOW, BARNEY, YOU CAN BELIEVE THIS IF YOU WANT TO

BUT AT FIRST I DIDN'T KNOW THAT WAS ANDY.

SEE, I LEFT HIM AND MISS HELEN...

GOOBER, WHAT DID HE WANT?

HE LEFT A MESSAGE FOR YOU.

LET'S HAVE IT.

ALL RIGHT.

THEY'RE AT THE JUSTICE OF THE PEACE

IN SILER CITY,

AND HE SAID SOMETHING ABOUT A LICENSE

AND HE WANTS YOU TO BRING $25 AS FAST AS YOU CAN.

NO.

YEAH, THAT'S WHAT HE SAID.

I DON'T BELIEVE IT.

WHY DON'T YOU?

BECAUSE IT'S TOO GOOD TO BE TRUE!

I SET THE WHOLE THING UP

AND I NEVER ACTUALLY BELIEVED THAT...

ARE YOU SURE THAT'S WHAT HE SAID?

ABSOLUTELY, WORD FOR WORD.

THE SON OF A GUN... THE OLD SON OF A GUN!

HE DID IT. HE REALLY WENT AND DID IT.

WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT THAT?

I DON'T KNOW. WHAT DID HE DO?

WELL, THEY'RE GETTING MARRIED.

THEY ARE?

WHY ELSE DO YOU THINK

THEY'D BE AT THE JUSTICE OF THE PEACE

GETTING A LICENSE AND NEEDING MONEY?

DON'T YOU SEE?

IT'S AS CLEAR AS DAY.

SURE!

ANDY'S GETTING MARRIED

AND I'M THE ONE THAT DID IT.

IS EVERYBODY READY?

I CAN'T BELIEVE IT.

I JUST CAN'T BELIEVE IT.

NOW, AUNT BEE, THERE'S NO TIME

FOR THAT KIND OF STUFF.

YOU CAN CRY LATER.

BUT WHY DO THEY HAVE TO DO IT THIS WAY?

BUT WHY CAN'T THEY HAVE A REAL WEDDING?

THIS IS THE BEST WAY.

SHORT AND SWEET AND USE THE MONEY FOR FURNITURE.

WE'VE GOT A WHOLE HOUSEFUL OF FURNITURE.

OPIE, HURRY DOWN HERE, WILL YOU?

HEY, BARNEY, IS PA GETTING MARRIED?

NEVER MIND THAT NOW.

I GOT THE RICE, BARN.

DID YOU GET THE SHOES AND TIN CANS?

YO!

NOW, REMEMBER, THE MINUTE WE PULL UP THERE

YOU TIE THE SHOES AND THE TIN CANS TO THE REAR BUMPER.

YO!

HEY, WHY IS AUNT BEE CRYING?

SHE'S CRYING BECAUSE SHE...

AUNT BEE, WILL YOU JUST STOP CRYING?

LET'S GO. COME ON.

OKAY, LET'S GO, EVERYBODY.

GOOBER, GET BUSY WITH THOSE SHOES AND CANS.

COME ON, EVERYBODY.

COME ON, HURRY UP.

COME ON.

YOU OLD SON OF A GUN, HOW ARE YOU?

HERE, HELEN.

ANDY, WHY DIDN'T YOU LET US KNOW?

OH, HELEN...

WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?

PA, ARE YOU REALLY GETTING MARRIED?

HERE'S THE MONEY FOR YOUR LICENSE.

DON'T WORRY ABOUT PAYING ME BACK.

THIS IS FOR A FISHING FINE.

WE'RE NOT GETTING MARRIED.

YOU'RE NOT?

NO. OF COURSE NOT.

BARNEY!

YOU BEAT ANYTHING, BARNEY...

ANDY!

MM.

NICE, ISN'T IT?

MM. A LOT DIFFERENT THAN YESTERDAY.

YEAH, YOU BETTER KNOW IT.

I WONDER WHAT KIND OF DAY

THELMA LOU AND BARNEY ARE GONNA HAVE.

MM. I DON'T KNOW.

I FIGURE THE ONLY WAY WE CAN GET ANY PEACE AND QUIET

IS IF I GET HIM OUT IN THE WOODS.

MYERS' LAKE'S A PRETTY PLACE.

OH, IT'S BEAUTIFUL.

ANDY, I DROPPED MY FISHIN' POLE IN THE LAKE.

I WAS WONDERING IF I COULD BORROW YOURS.

I HATE TO BOTHER YOU AT A TIME LIKE THIS.

JUST ONE OF THEM THINGS, THOUGH.

YOU KNOW I WOULDN'T BARGE IN ON YOU

IF IT WASN'T --

WHAT YOU BEEN DOING?