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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:09,677 --> 00:00:13,214 STARRING ANDY GRIFFITH... 2 00:00:13,247 --> 00:00:15,383 WITH RONNY HOWARD... 3 00:00:15,416 --> 00:00:18,186 ALSO STARRING DON KNOTTS. 4 00:00:25,126 --> 00:00:26,727 OH, BARNEY, LOOK AT THAT. 5 00:00:26,760 --> 00:00:28,162 ISN'T THAT SMART? 6 00:00:28,196 --> 00:00:30,598 THAT BLUE SOFA AND THE GREEN RUG. 7 00:00:30,631 --> 00:00:32,733 BLUE AND GREEN -- YOU KNOW, THAT'S THE LATEST. 8 00:00:32,766 --> 00:00:35,303 WOULDN'T YOU LOVE TO HAVE A LIVING ROOM LIKE THAT? 9 00:00:35,336 --> 00:00:38,139 WELL, IT'S ALL RIGHT FOR A STORE WINDOW. 10 00:00:38,172 --> 00:00:39,707 I WOULDN'T HAVE IT IN MY HOUSE, THOUGH. 11 00:00:39,740 --> 00:00:42,310 FURNITURE LOOKS SPINDLY. 12 00:00:42,343 --> 00:00:45,213 MAN WOULD SIT DOWN ON THAT, IT'D PROBABLY CRACK UP. 13 00:00:45,246 --> 00:00:46,847 MIGHT BE ALL RIGHT FOR YOU, 14 00:00:46,880 --> 00:00:48,649 BUT I'D BE AFRAID TO SIT DOWN ON IT. 15 00:00:48,682 --> 00:00:50,584 WELL, YOU DON'T WEIGH MUCH MORE THAN I DO, BARNEY. 16 00:00:50,618 --> 00:00:53,821 WELL, IT'S THE FEELING OF IT. 17 00:00:53,854 --> 00:00:56,390 I MEAN, A MAN LIKES SOMETHING SOLID. 18 00:00:56,424 --> 00:00:57,791 LIKE THAT CHAIR THERE. 19 00:00:57,825 --> 00:00:59,527 NOW, THAT -- THAT LEATHER CHAIR. 20 00:00:59,560 --> 00:01:00,861 NOW, THAT LOOKS ALL RIGHT. 21 00:01:00,894 --> 00:01:03,564 WOULDN'T MIND HAVING STUFF LIKE THAT. 22 00:01:03,597 --> 00:01:07,601 OH, IT'S NICE, BUT IT'S SO MASCULINE. 23 00:01:07,635 --> 00:01:10,404 BE ALL RIGHT FOR YOUR DEN. 24 00:01:10,438 --> 00:01:13,141 MY DEN, YEAH. 25 00:01:13,174 --> 00:01:15,276 YOU KNOW, I GOT PRETTY DEFINITE IDEAS 26 00:01:15,309 --> 00:01:17,711 OF HOW I WANT THAT FIXED UP. 27 00:01:17,745 --> 00:01:19,280 I WANT TO HAVE IT 28 00:01:19,313 --> 00:01:23,717 SO IT SMELLS OF REAL LEATHER AND PIPE TOBACCO, 29 00:01:23,751 --> 00:01:25,586 GOOD BOOKS. 30 00:01:25,619 --> 00:01:27,388 MAYBE A DOG. 31 00:01:27,421 --> 00:01:29,190 YOU WANT IT TO SMELL OF A DOG? 32 00:01:29,223 --> 00:01:33,161 NO, I MEAN, I WANT A DOG THERE YOU KNOW, LYING THERE! 33 00:01:33,194 --> 00:01:35,429 I WANT TO HAVE A PLACE TO COME BACK TO 34 00:01:35,463 --> 00:01:40,301 WHERE I CAN JUST PUT MY FEET UP, LIGHT MY PIPE. 35 00:01:40,334 --> 00:01:42,303 'CAUSE, YOU KNOW, SOMETIMES WHEN I COME HOME FROM WORK, 36 00:01:42,336 --> 00:01:43,604 I'M JUST COMPLETELY SHOT. 37 00:01:43,637 --> 00:01:45,173 MY JOB, YOU KNOW, 38 00:01:45,206 --> 00:01:48,376 HAS A LOT OF NERVE-RACKING BUSINESS TO IT. 39 00:01:48,409 --> 00:01:50,611 SO I WANT TO COME BACK TO A PLACE 40 00:01:50,644 --> 00:01:52,813 WHERE I CAN JUST CLOSE THE DOOR, 41 00:01:52,846 --> 00:01:54,548 BE IN A WORLD OF MY OWN. 42 00:01:54,582 --> 00:01:57,385 NOBODY ELSE. 43 00:01:57,418 --> 00:02:01,622 NO OFFENSE, THELMA LOU, BUT NOT EVEN YOU. 44 00:02:01,655 --> 00:02:04,225 OH, THAT'S ALL RIGHT, BARNEY. 45 00:02:04,258 --> 00:02:07,428 I WON'T BOTHER YOU WHEN YOU'RE IN YOUR DEN. 46 00:02:07,461 --> 00:02:11,299 'COURSE I-I WOULD LIKE THE LIVING ROOM FIXED UP NICE 47 00:02:11,332 --> 00:02:12,633 FOR WHEN I HAVE THE LADIES IN. 48 00:02:12,666 --> 00:02:15,936 NO, THAT'S OKAY, BUT NO LADIES IN MY DEN. 49 00:02:15,969 --> 00:02:17,771 OH, NO, BARNEY, NO. 50 00:02:17,805 --> 00:02:21,775 WELL, YOU JUST REMEMBER THAT, AND WE'LL GET ALONG FINE. 51 00:02:28,782 --> 00:02:30,384 WELL, LOOK AT US! 52 00:02:30,418 --> 00:02:32,586 YOU -- YOU'D THINK WE WERE ABOUT READY 53 00:02:32,620 --> 00:02:34,388 TO SET UP HOUSEKEEPING TOMORROW! 54 00:02:34,422 --> 00:02:37,625 YEAH, FROM THE WAY WE'RE TALKING. 55 00:02:37,658 --> 00:02:40,461 'COURSE, YOU KNOW, TH-THAT'S OUT OF THE QUESTION. 56 00:02:40,494 --> 00:02:42,830 I MEAN, UH... 57 00:02:42,863 --> 00:02:46,234 WELL, LIKE WE'VE BEEN SAYING FOR A LONG TIME, 58 00:02:46,267 --> 00:02:49,203 MARRIAGE ISN'T SOMETHING THAT YOU JUST LEAP INTO. 59 00:02:49,237 --> 00:02:52,473 I MEAN... I CERTAINLY HOPE YOU DON'T THINK I'M PRESSURING YOU. 60 00:02:52,506 --> 00:02:54,508 OH, HECK, NO! NO, NO. 61 00:02:54,542 --> 00:02:56,910 I-I'VE KNOWN YOU LONG ENOUGH TO KNOW BETTER THAN THAT. 62 00:02:58,479 --> 00:03:00,614 AND BESIDES, I-I'M NOT THE KIND OF A GUY 63 00:03:00,648 --> 00:03:02,716 TH-THAT CAN BE PRESSURED. 64 00:03:02,750 --> 00:03:04,518 I KNOW. 65 00:03:07,321 --> 00:03:10,891 BUT IF, AFTER WE DID ALL THIS THINKING, 66 00:03:10,924 --> 00:03:13,961 WE DID DECIDE TO... 67 00:03:13,994 --> 00:03:16,630 YOU KNOW, AND... 68 00:03:16,664 --> 00:03:19,300 IF WE GOT THIS HOUSE, 69 00:03:19,333 --> 00:03:23,637 AND IF WE HAD A DEN, 70 00:03:23,671 --> 00:03:26,006 THERE'D BE NO LADIES IN IT, RIGHT? 71 00:03:26,039 --> 00:03:27,675 RIGHT. 72 00:03:36,384 --> 00:03:38,952 HEY, I MEANT TO ASK YOU, HOW'D YOU AND THELMA LOU 73 00:03:38,986 --> 00:03:40,488 ENJOY THE MOVIE LAST NIGHT? 74 00:03:40,521 --> 00:03:43,357 WELL, I'LL TELL YOU, ANDY, THEY'RE LOSING ME. 75 00:03:43,391 --> 00:03:46,460 IF HOLLYWOOD CAN'T COME UP WITH ANYTHING CLOSER TO REALITY 76 00:03:46,494 --> 00:03:48,862 THAN THAT THING LAST NIGHT, THEY GOT THE LAST OF MY MONEY. 77 00:03:48,896 --> 00:03:50,698 NO KIDDING. 78 00:03:50,731 --> 00:03:52,433 I SAW IT LAST WEEK AND THOUGHT IT WAS REAL GOOD. 79 00:03:52,466 --> 00:03:54,468 OH, SO FARFETCHED. 80 00:03:54,502 --> 00:03:57,838 I MEAN, HERE'S THIS SWEET, LOVELY, DELICATE GIRL -- 81 00:03:57,871 --> 00:04:02,376 BEAUTIFUL, TALENTED, SINGS, DANCES, PLAYS THE CELLO -- 82 00:04:02,410 --> 00:04:05,012 AND SHE FALLS FOR THIS BIG, SLOPPY GOOF. 83 00:04:05,045 --> 00:04:06,747 SHIRT OPEN DOWN TO HERE. 84 00:04:06,780 --> 00:04:08,582 AIN'T HAD A HAIRCUT IN SIX WEEKS. 85 00:04:08,616 --> 00:04:10,351 HOW YOU GONNA BELIEVE A THING LIKE THAT? 86 00:04:10,384 --> 00:04:11,752 I MEAN, IT'S JUST TOO FARFETCHED. 87 00:04:11,785 --> 00:04:13,787 WELL, I DON'T KNOW. 88 00:04:13,821 --> 00:04:15,623 YOU CAN'T TELL ABOUT WOMEN. 89 00:04:15,656 --> 00:04:18,359 SOMETIME THEY GO FOR THAT SHAGGY TYPE OF GUY. 90 00:04:18,392 --> 00:04:20,761 WELL, THAT DON'T JIVE WITH MY EXPERIENCES IN LIFE, 91 00:04:20,794 --> 00:04:21,962 NOT IN A MILLION YEARS. 92 00:04:21,995 --> 00:04:23,331 HM. 93 00:04:23,364 --> 00:04:24,565 HOW'D THELMA LOU LIKE IT? 94 00:04:24,598 --> 00:04:25,999 OH, SHE LOVED IT. 95 00:04:26,033 --> 00:04:27,735 WELL, WHAT DO WOMEN KNOW? 96 00:04:27,768 --> 00:04:30,037 AS FAR AS I'M CONCERNED, IT WAS TOO FARFETCHED. 97 00:04:31,339 --> 00:04:32,473 I'LL GET IT. 98 00:04:33,807 --> 00:04:35,809 SHERIFF'S OFFICE. 99 00:04:35,843 --> 00:04:38,412 OH, HELLO, THELMA LOU. 100 00:04:38,446 --> 00:04:40,047 WE WAS JUST TALKING ABOUT YOU. 101 00:04:40,080 --> 00:04:41,649 YEAH, BARNEY -- 102 00:04:41,682 --> 00:04:44,385 NO, IT WAS REAL COMPLIMENTARY. 103 00:04:44,418 --> 00:04:45,853 YOU WANT TO TALK TO HIM? 104 00:04:45,886 --> 00:04:47,054 OKAY. 105 00:04:49,723 --> 00:04:51,492 HI, THEL. 106 00:04:51,525 --> 00:04:53,727 WHAT'S ON YOUR MIND? 107 00:04:53,761 --> 00:04:55,829 OH, GEE. 108 00:04:55,863 --> 00:04:58,566 WELL, I'M AFRAID THAT'S OUT OF THE QUESTION. 109 00:04:58,599 --> 00:05:00,334 WELL, ANDY AND I ARE UP TO OUR NECKS 110 00:05:00,368 --> 00:05:01,735 IN THE MONTHLY REPORTS, 111 00:05:01,769 --> 00:05:03,637 AND BESIDES THAT, THE SQUAD CAR'S IN THE GARAGE 112 00:05:03,671 --> 00:05:04,805 BEING FIXED. WHAT'S THE TROUBLE? 113 00:05:04,838 --> 00:05:06,407 WELL, THELMA LOU'S DENTIST 114 00:05:06,440 --> 00:05:07,741 WANTS TO CHANGE HER APPOINTMENT TO THIS MORNING. 115 00:05:07,775 --> 00:05:09,710 SHE HAS TO BE IN MOUNT PILOT AT 10:30. 116 00:05:09,743 --> 00:05:10,878 WHY DON'T YOU GET HER A TAXI? 117 00:05:10,911 --> 00:05:12,946 Forget the taxi. 118 00:05:12,980 --> 00:05:14,682 Mount Pilot? That's 12 miles each way. 119 00:05:14,715 --> 00:05:15,883 You know what that would cost? 120 00:05:15,916 --> 00:05:17,385 UH, NOTHING. 121 00:05:17,418 --> 00:05:18,652 ANDY WAS JUST TALKING ABOUT 122 00:05:18,686 --> 00:05:20,454 HOW MAYBE WE COULD GET YOU THERE. 123 00:05:20,488 --> 00:05:22,423 HEY, ANDY! Andy: HEY, GOMER. 124 00:05:22,456 --> 00:05:23,824 HEY, BARNEY. HEY, GOMER. 125 00:05:23,857 --> 00:05:25,493 GOMER JUST CAME IN. 126 00:05:25,526 --> 00:05:27,528 HEY, WAIT A MINUTE. GOMER, HOW'S THE SQUAD CAR? 127 00:05:27,561 --> 00:05:28,729 WELL, IT AIN'T READY YET. 128 00:05:28,762 --> 00:05:30,431 THAT'S WHAT I COME OVER HERE TO TELL YOU. 129 00:05:30,464 --> 00:05:32,433 WALLY SAYS IT WON'T BE READY TILL THIS AFTERNOON. 130 00:05:32,466 --> 00:05:34,968 UH-OH. THERE'S ANOTHER TOUGH BREAK, THELMA LOU. 131 00:05:35,002 --> 00:05:36,870 GOMER SAID -- OH, YOU HEARD. 132 00:05:36,904 --> 00:05:38,672 HAVE YOU GOT TO GO SOMEPLACE, BARNEY? 133 00:05:38,706 --> 00:05:40,441 YOU CAN USE MY PICKUP IF YOU WANT TO. 134 00:05:40,474 --> 00:05:42,510 HEY, THERE'S A IDEA, BARN -- TAKE GOMER'S PICKUP. 135 00:05:42,543 --> 00:05:43,877 I CAN SPARE YOU HERE A COUPLE HOURS. 136 00:05:43,911 --> 00:05:46,480 I CAN'T DRIVE THAT PICKUP. NOBODY CAN EXCEPT GOMER. 137 00:05:46,514 --> 00:05:48,015 YOU WANT ME TO DRIVE YOU SOMEPLACE, BARNEY? 138 00:05:48,048 --> 00:05:50,050 I'D BE GLAD TO. NOW, THAT'S IT. 139 00:05:50,083 --> 00:05:52,520 LET GOMER DRIVE THELMA LOU TO MOUNT PILOT. 140 00:05:52,553 --> 00:05:53,754 THELMA LOU, GOMER SAYS 141 00:05:53,787 --> 00:05:55,656 HE'D BE GLAD TO DRIVE YOU OVER THERE. 142 00:05:55,689 --> 00:05:57,090 NO, HE DON'T MIND. 143 00:05:57,124 --> 00:05:59,126 DO YOU, GOMER? GLAD TO DO IT! 144 00:05:59,159 --> 00:06:01,595 HE'D BE GLAD TO DRIVE YOU OVER THERE. 145 00:06:01,629 --> 00:06:04,732 OKAY. SEE YOU LATER, THEL. 146 00:06:04,765 --> 00:06:06,700 THAT'S NICE OF YOU, GOMER. 147 00:06:06,734 --> 00:06:08,436 WELL... 148 00:06:08,469 --> 00:06:10,638 HEY, BARN? 149 00:06:10,671 --> 00:06:12,072 HMM? 150 00:06:12,105 --> 00:06:15,142 SURE YOU DON'T WANT TO GO ALONG TO CHAPERONE? 151 00:06:15,175 --> 00:06:17,578 WHAT? 152 00:06:17,611 --> 00:06:20,113 WELL, I MEAN, SENDING YOUR GIRL ON A LONG TRIP ALL ALONE 153 00:06:20,147 --> 00:06:22,950 WITH A HANDSOME FELLA LIKE GOMER HERE, 154 00:06:22,983 --> 00:06:25,185 YOU'RE LIABLE TO LOSE YOUR GIRL. 155 00:06:25,218 --> 00:06:26,987 I DON'T THINK SO. 156 00:06:27,020 --> 00:06:28,522 WELL, YOU'RE WELCOME TO RIDE ALONG 157 00:06:28,556 --> 00:06:29,757 IF YOU WANT TO, BARNEY -- 158 00:06:29,790 --> 00:06:31,459 I MEAN, IF YOU ARE WORRIED OR ANYTHING. 159 00:06:31,492 --> 00:06:35,996 GOMER, BELIEVE ME, I AM NOT WORRIED. 160 00:06:36,029 --> 00:06:38,098 I MEAN, THERE'S A LOT OF THINGS IN THIS WORLD 161 00:06:38,131 --> 00:06:39,867 I MIGHT BE WORRIED ABOUT, 162 00:06:39,900 --> 00:06:43,036 BUT LOSING THELMA LOU IS NOT ONE OF THEM. 163 00:06:43,070 --> 00:06:46,707 I GOT THAT LITTLE GIRL RIGHT IN MY HIP POCKET. 164 00:06:46,740 --> 00:06:49,543 HUH? THAT'S A FIGURE OF SPEECH, GOMER. 165 00:06:49,577 --> 00:06:50,911 OH, I SEE. 166 00:06:50,944 --> 00:06:52,780 WELL, I BETTER GET ROLLING, FELLERS. 167 00:06:52,813 --> 00:06:54,615 I'LL SEE YOU. 168 00:06:54,648 --> 00:06:55,849 AND DON'T WORRY, BARNEY. 169 00:06:55,883 --> 00:06:57,451 I'LL TAKE REAL GOOD CARE OF THELMA LOU. 170 00:06:57,485 --> 00:06:59,086 YEAH, YOU DO THAT. 171 00:07:01,221 --> 00:07:03,957 CHEEK. 172 00:07:09,997 --> 00:07:12,833 IT WAS VERY NICE OF YOU TO DO THIS FOR ME, GOMER. 173 00:07:12,866 --> 00:07:14,635 AW, SHOOT, IT'S MY PLEASURE. 174 00:07:14,668 --> 00:07:16,570 IF I WASN'T HERE, I'D BE UNDER SOME CAR 175 00:07:16,604 --> 00:07:17,871 GETTING GREASE IN MY FACE. 176 00:07:17,905 --> 00:07:22,510 WELL, IT WAS NICE OF YOU ANYWAY. 177 00:07:22,543 --> 00:07:24,845 BOY, THAT BARNEY'S REALLY A GREAT GUY, AIN'T HE? 178 00:07:24,878 --> 00:07:27,014 I MEAN, A FELLER IN HIS POSITION AND ALL -- 179 00:07:27,047 --> 00:07:29,917 WORKING FOR THE CITY AND WEARING A BEAUTIFUL UNIFORM -- 180 00:07:29,950 --> 00:07:32,486 BUT TO TALK TO HIM, HE'S JUST LIKE ANYBODY ELSE. 181 00:07:32,520 --> 00:07:34,788 AIN'T NEVER TOO BUSY TO PASS THE TIME OF DAY. 182 00:07:34,822 --> 00:07:36,790 YES, BARNEY IS VERY NICE. 183 00:07:36,824 --> 00:07:40,528 WHEN YOU TWO GETTING MARRIED, IF YOU DON'T MIND MY ASKING? WHAT? 184 00:07:40,561 --> 00:07:42,129 WELL, EVERYBODY KNOWS YOU'RE GONNA GET MARRIED. 185 00:07:42,162 --> 00:07:43,697 I HEAR IT ALL THE TIME. 186 00:07:43,731 --> 00:07:45,633 PEOPLE SAY, "BARNEY AND THELMA LOU. 187 00:07:45,666 --> 00:07:47,100 BARNEY AND THELMA LOU." 188 00:07:47,134 --> 00:07:48,902 HARDLY EVER HEAR ONE NAME WITHOUT THE OTHER. 189 00:07:48,936 --> 00:07:50,971 BUT NOBODY KNOWS WHEN IT'S GONNA COME OFF. 190 00:07:51,004 --> 00:07:52,673 WELL... 191 00:07:52,706 --> 00:07:53,874 I DON'T KNOW WHAT HE'S WAITING FOR. 192 00:07:53,907 --> 00:07:55,275 IF HE DON'T HURRY UP, 193 00:07:55,308 --> 00:07:57,511 SOMEBODY'S GONNA COME ALONG AND STEAL YOU AWAY, 194 00:07:57,545 --> 00:07:58,646 YOU BEING SO PRETTY AND ALL. 195 00:07:58,679 --> 00:08:00,614 WHY, THANK YOU, GOMER. 196 00:08:00,648 --> 00:08:02,282 'COURSE BARNEY DON'T SEEM TO BE WORRIED. 197 00:08:02,315 --> 00:08:05,018 HE SAYS THERE ARE SOME THINGS HE'S WORRIED ABOUT, 198 00:08:05,052 --> 00:08:06,587 BUT YOU AIN'T ONE OF THEM. 199 00:08:06,620 --> 00:08:08,656 OH, REALLY? YES, MA'AM. 200 00:08:08,689 --> 00:08:10,791 HEARD HIM JUST THIS MORNING IN THE COURTHOUSE 201 00:08:10,824 --> 00:08:12,793 SAYING HOW HE HAD YOU IN HIS HIP POCKET. 202 00:08:12,826 --> 00:08:15,095 BARNEY SAID THAT -- 203 00:08:15,128 --> 00:08:17,598 THAT HE'S GOT ME IN HIS HIP POCKET? UH-HUH. 204 00:08:17,631 --> 00:08:19,700 THAT'S A FIGURE OF SPEECH. 205 00:08:24,104 --> 00:08:26,039 HEY, ANDY. Andy: HEY, GOMER. 206 00:08:26,073 --> 00:08:27,875 HEY, BARNEY. Barney: HEY, GOMER. 207 00:08:27,908 --> 00:08:29,743 I BROUGHT THE SQUAD CAR BACK. 208 00:08:29,777 --> 00:08:31,278 SHE'S RUNNING LIKE A LITTLE OL' BIRD. 209 00:08:31,311 --> 00:08:32,980 HERE'S THE KEYS, ANDY. OH, THANKS, GOMER. 210 00:08:33,013 --> 00:08:35,115 DID YOU GET THELMA LOU OVER TO MOUNT PILOT OKAY? 211 00:08:35,148 --> 00:08:37,317 OH, YES. NO TROUBLE AT ALL, THERE. 212 00:08:37,350 --> 00:08:39,086 WELL, I SURE APPRECIATE YOU DOING THAT. 213 00:08:39,119 --> 00:08:40,621 OH, IT WAS MY PLEASURE. 214 00:08:40,654 --> 00:08:42,656 WE REALLY HAD A GOOD TIME. GOOD. 215 00:08:42,690 --> 00:08:44,825 GEE, BARNEY, YOU REALLY GOT ONE SWELL GIRL THERE. 216 00:08:44,858 --> 00:08:46,193 SHE'S SO MUCH FUN. 217 00:08:46,226 --> 00:08:48,328 WE LAUGHED AND TALKED ALL THE WAY TO MOUNT PILOT. 218 00:08:48,361 --> 00:08:50,230 AND WHEN WE GOT THERE, SHE EVEN BOUGHT ME LUNCH. 219 00:08:50,263 --> 00:08:52,833 SHE DID? 220 00:08:52,866 --> 00:08:54,868 UH-HUH. SHE BOUGHT YOU LUNCH? 221 00:08:54,902 --> 00:08:56,937 I DIDN'T WANT HER TO, BUT SHE INSISTED. 222 00:08:56,970 --> 00:09:00,941 SHOOT, I HAD SAUSAGES AND THREE EGGS AND SIX FLAPJACKS. 223 00:09:00,974 --> 00:09:03,310 IT MUST HAVE SET HER BACK OVER 70 CENTS. 224 00:09:03,343 --> 00:09:04,912 NO FOOLING. 225 00:09:04,945 --> 00:09:06,780 AND SHE'S SO EASY TO TALK TO. 226 00:09:06,814 --> 00:09:08,849 SOMETIMES I HAVE TROUBLE TALKING TO GIRLS. 227 00:09:08,882 --> 00:09:11,184 BUT I CAN TALK TO THELMA LOU JUST LIKE SHE'S A FELLER. 228 00:09:11,218 --> 00:09:13,621 WELL, I GOT TO GO. I'LL SEE YOU LATER, FELLERS. 229 00:09:13,654 --> 00:09:15,055 Andy: SEE YOU, GOMER. 230 00:09:20,027 --> 00:09:21,261 WHAT'S THE MATTER? 231 00:09:21,294 --> 00:09:24,097 SHE BOUGHT HIM LUNCH. 232 00:09:24,131 --> 00:09:26,900 WHAT'S WRONG WITH THAT? 233 00:09:26,934 --> 00:09:28,335 WELL, NOTHING. 234 00:09:28,368 --> 00:09:30,771 IT'S JUST THAT, IN ALL THE YEARS I'VE KNOWN THELMA LOU, 235 00:09:30,804 --> 00:09:32,272 SHE'S NEVER BOUGHT ME LUNCH. 236 00:09:32,305 --> 00:09:34,241 WE'VE ALWAYS GONE DUTCH TREAT. 237 00:09:34,274 --> 00:09:38,278 WELL, LIKE I SAY, 238 00:09:38,311 --> 00:09:40,013 YOU CAN'T TELL ABOUT WOMEN. 239 00:09:40,047 --> 00:09:42,716 SOMETIMES THEY GO FOR THAT SHAGGY TYPE OF GUY. 240 00:09:42,750 --> 00:09:45,018 GOMER'S PRETTY SHAGGY, YOU KNOW. 241 00:09:45,052 --> 00:09:48,221 I EVER TELL YOU YOU GOT A WARPED SENSE OF HUMOR? 242 00:09:48,255 --> 00:09:49,757 I BELIEVE SO. 243 00:09:49,790 --> 00:09:51,024 WARPED. 244 00:10:06,840 --> 00:10:08,008 WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE? 245 00:10:08,041 --> 00:10:09,710 TUESDAY NIGHT, AIN'T IT? 246 00:10:09,743 --> 00:10:12,112 I THOUGHT YOU WAS SUPPOSED TO BE OVER AT THELMA LOU'S. 247 00:10:12,145 --> 00:10:13,781 YEAH. 248 00:10:13,814 --> 00:10:16,149 YOU WOULD THINK THAT, WOULDN'T YOU? 249 00:10:16,183 --> 00:10:18,085 BUT HERE I AM. 250 00:10:18,118 --> 00:10:19,853 WHAT HAPPENED? 251 00:10:19,887 --> 00:10:22,189 YOU GOT ME. 252 00:10:22,222 --> 00:10:27,728 I GOT ALL DRESSED UP -- TIE, COAT, THE WORKS -- 253 00:10:27,761 --> 00:10:29,897 CALLED THELMA LOU TO TELL HER I WAS ON MY WAY OVER, 254 00:10:29,930 --> 00:10:31,398 AND SHE ACTED ALL SURPRISED! 255 00:10:31,431 --> 00:10:33,233 SAID SHE WAS BUSY TONIGHT -- 256 00:10:33,266 --> 00:10:35,202 LIKE IT COMPLETELY SLIPPED HER MIND 257 00:10:35,235 --> 00:10:36,236 THAT IT WAS TUESDAY NIGHT. 258 00:10:36,269 --> 00:10:38,371 HMM. CAN YOU BEAT THAT? 259 00:10:38,405 --> 00:10:41,374 ANDY, YOU KNOW AS WELL AS I DO THAT THELMA LOU AND I 260 00:10:41,408 --> 00:10:43,744 HAVE ALWAYS HAD A STANDING DATE ON TUESDAY NIGHTS. 261 00:10:43,777 --> 00:10:46,747 EVERY TUESDAY NIGHT FOR AS LONG AS I CAN REMEMBER, 262 00:10:46,780 --> 00:10:48,248 WE'RE SITTING ON THAT COUCH, 263 00:10:48,281 --> 00:10:50,050 A PAN OF CASHEW FUDGE BETWEEN US, 264 00:10:50,083 --> 00:10:53,153 WATCHING THAT DOCTOR SHOW ON TV. 265 00:10:53,186 --> 00:10:55,956 NOW, ALL OF A SUDDEN, IT SLIPPED HER MIND. 266 00:10:55,989 --> 00:10:58,692 MAYBE SHE WASN'T FEELING WELL. 267 00:10:58,726 --> 00:11:00,994 OH, SHE WAS FEELING FINE. SHE WAS HUMMING! 268 00:11:01,028 --> 00:11:03,864 WELL, LIKE I SAY, 269 00:11:03,897 --> 00:11:05,232 SOMETIMES YOU CAN'T FIGURE WOMEN. 270 00:11:05,265 --> 00:11:07,067 YEAH. YOU CAN SAY THAT AGAIN. 271 00:11:07,100 --> 00:11:10,904 WELL, I WAS JUST FIXING TO DO A LITTLE NIGHT CHECK 272 00:11:10,938 --> 00:11:12,105 UP AND DOWN MAIN STREET. 273 00:11:12,139 --> 00:11:13,874 YOU WANT TO COME ALONG? 274 00:11:13,907 --> 00:11:16,209 MIGHT AS WELL. I GOT NOTHING ELSE TO DO. 275 00:11:16,243 --> 00:11:17,911 COME ON. 276 00:11:17,945 --> 00:11:20,714 WANT SOME FUDGE? 277 00:11:20,748 --> 00:11:22,149 YOU BOUGHT SOME, HUH? 278 00:11:22,182 --> 00:11:25,252 WELL, A MAN'S HAD FUDGE EVERY TUESDAY NIGHT FOR YEARS, 279 00:11:25,285 --> 00:11:28,021 YOU DON'T KICK THE HABIT JUST LIKE THAT. 280 00:11:33,761 --> 00:11:35,128 YOU KNOW, I WAS REALLY LOOKING FORWARD 281 00:11:35,162 --> 00:11:36,296 TO SEEING THAT SHOW TONIGHT. 282 00:11:36,329 --> 00:11:38,365 HM. THE DOCTOR SHOW? 283 00:11:38,398 --> 00:11:40,267 YEAH. 284 00:11:40,300 --> 00:11:43,170 YOU KNOW, IN THIS ONE, THE YOUNG DOCTOR BREAKS HIS ARM 285 00:11:43,203 --> 00:11:45,372 AND HAS TO PERFORM AN OPERATION LEFT-HANDED. 286 00:11:45,405 --> 00:11:46,439 NO KIDDING. 287 00:11:46,473 --> 00:11:47,741 YEAH. 288 00:11:47,775 --> 00:11:49,442 REAL DIFFICULT OPERATION, TOO. 289 00:11:49,476 --> 00:11:51,979 YOU KNOW, A SPLEEN OR PANCREAS. 290 00:11:52,012 --> 00:11:54,514 YOU KNOW, DOWN WHERE THINGS ARE REAL CLOSE TOGETHER. 291 00:11:54,547 --> 00:11:56,149 REALLY WALK THE TIGHTROPE. 292 00:11:56,183 --> 00:11:57,350 YEP. 293 00:11:57,384 --> 00:11:58,919 WELL, I WOULDN'T WORRY ABOUT IT. 294 00:11:58,952 --> 00:12:00,487 EVERYTHING WILL COME OUT ALL RIGHT. 295 00:12:00,520 --> 00:12:02,856 I MEAN, THE SHOW'S GOT TO BE ON NEXT WEEK. 296 00:12:02,890 --> 00:12:05,292 WELL, YEAH, I KNOW THAT. 297 00:12:05,325 --> 00:12:07,961 THEY PUT YOU THROUGH THE WRINGER JUST THE SAME. 298 00:12:07,995 --> 00:12:10,363 GETS ME EVERY TIME. 299 00:12:14,001 --> 00:12:15,068 ANDY! 300 00:12:17,905 --> 00:12:19,807 ARE MY EYES PLAYING TRICKS ON ME? 301 00:12:22,342 --> 00:12:23,844 THAT'S THELMA LOU AND GOMER. 302 00:12:23,877 --> 00:12:25,445 THEY'RE GOING IN TO SEE THE MOVIE! 303 00:12:25,478 --> 00:12:27,147 SURE ARE. 304 00:12:27,180 --> 00:12:29,349 I DON'T UNDERSTAND. 305 00:12:29,382 --> 00:12:31,885 I THOUGHT YOU SAID SHE SAW THAT MOVIE WITH YOU LAST NIGHT. 306 00:12:31,919 --> 00:12:33,253 SHE DID. 307 00:12:33,286 --> 00:12:35,088 HUH. 308 00:12:35,122 --> 00:12:38,959 MAYBE THIS TIME SHE'S NOT GONNA BE LOOKING AT THE PICTURE. 309 00:12:42,595 --> 00:12:44,031 YEAH, WELL, IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT. 310 00:12:44,064 --> 00:12:45,298 YOU KNOW THAT, DON'T YOU, ANDY? 311 00:12:45,332 --> 00:12:47,234 IT'S ABSOLUTELY YOUR FAULT! 312 00:12:47,267 --> 00:12:48,435 BARNEY, WILL YOU STOP IT? 313 00:12:48,468 --> 00:12:49,903 YOU'RE ACTING LIKE A KID. 314 00:12:49,937 --> 00:12:51,204 THERE'S NOTHING SERIOUS GOING ON 315 00:12:51,238 --> 00:12:52,439 BETWEEN GOMER AND THELMA LOU. 316 00:12:52,472 --> 00:12:53,841 SO THEY WENT TO THE MOVIES. 317 00:12:53,874 --> 00:12:55,442 YEAH, MOVIES, WELL... 318 00:12:55,475 --> 00:12:57,878 FAR AS THAT GO, YOU'VE STEPPED OUT A FEW TIMES YOURSELF. 319 00:12:57,911 --> 00:12:59,880 HOW ABOUT JUANITA OVER AT THE DINER? 320 00:12:59,913 --> 00:13:02,382 WELL, THAT'S DIFFERENT. HOW'S THAT DIFFERENT? 321 00:13:02,415 --> 00:13:03,884 WELL, IF YOU DON'T KNOW HOW IT'S DIFFERENT, 322 00:13:03,917 --> 00:13:05,185 I AIN'T GONNA TELL YOU. 323 00:13:05,218 --> 00:13:06,586 YOU BEAT EVERYTHING, BARNEY. YOU KNOW THAT? 324 00:13:06,619 --> 00:13:08,121 YOU KNOW WHAT YOU OUGHT TO DO. 325 00:13:08,155 --> 00:13:09,456 GO SEE THELMA LOU. 326 00:13:09,489 --> 00:13:10,858 TAKE HER SOME FLOWERS AND GO OVER THERE 327 00:13:10,891 --> 00:13:11,959 AND FIND OUT WHAT'S WRONG. 328 00:13:11,992 --> 00:13:13,126 ARE YOU KIDDING?! 329 00:13:13,160 --> 00:13:14,227 SHE OUGHT TO COME TO ME WITH FLOWERS! 330 00:13:14,261 --> 00:13:15,462 I'M THE STOOD-UP PARTY! 331 00:13:15,495 --> 00:13:17,030 I DIDN'T GO TO THE MOVIES WITH GOMER! 332 00:13:17,064 --> 00:13:18,198 SHE WENT TO THE MOVIES WITH GOMER! 333 00:13:18,231 --> 00:13:20,467 LOOK, BARNEY, IT'S A LITTLE THING NOW, 334 00:13:20,500 --> 00:13:21,969 BUT IF YOU LET IT GO, 335 00:13:22,002 --> 00:13:23,336 IT'S GONNA GROW ALL OUT OF PROPORTION. 336 00:13:23,370 --> 00:13:25,172 HI, ANDY. 337 00:13:25,205 --> 00:13:26,573 HEY, GOMER. 338 00:13:26,606 --> 00:13:29,142 HEY, BARNEY. 339 00:13:36,884 --> 00:13:39,019 WHAT'S THE MATTER WITH BARNEY? 340 00:13:39,052 --> 00:13:40,453 WELL, GOMER, 341 00:13:40,487 --> 00:13:42,455 BARNEY'S BEEN BITTEN BY THE GREEN-EYED MONSTER. 342 00:13:42,489 --> 00:13:43,991 HE HAS? 343 00:13:44,024 --> 00:13:45,558 WELL, THEY GOT SOME STUFF DOWN AT THE DRUGSTORE 344 00:13:45,592 --> 00:13:47,027 THAT'LL KEEP THEM OFF OF YOU. 345 00:13:47,060 --> 00:13:48,561 ONE FELL ON ME JUST YESTERDAY. 346 00:13:48,595 --> 00:13:51,398 NO, NO, NO, NO. THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEAN. 347 00:13:51,431 --> 00:13:53,633 LET ME ASK YOU SOMETHING. 348 00:13:53,666 --> 00:13:55,869 HOW'D YOU COME TO TAKE THELMA LOU 349 00:13:55,903 --> 00:13:57,170 TO THE MOVIES LAST NIGHT? 350 00:13:57,204 --> 00:13:58,538 OH, SHE CALLED ME UP AND ASKED ME. 351 00:13:58,571 --> 00:14:00,240 CALLED ME RIGHT DOWN THERE AT THE FILLING STATION. 352 00:14:00,273 --> 00:14:02,309 OH, SHE DID, HUH? 353 00:14:02,342 --> 00:14:04,611 WELL, UH -- WELL, LISTEN. 354 00:14:04,644 --> 00:14:08,081 WHEN, UH -- WHEN YOU DROVE HER TO MOUNT PILOT YESTERDAY, 355 00:14:08,115 --> 00:14:09,349 WHAT DID YOU TALK ABOUT? 356 00:14:09,382 --> 00:14:11,018 OH, LOTS OF THINGS -- 357 00:14:11,051 --> 00:14:13,420 RECAPS AND OIL ADDITIVES. 358 00:14:13,453 --> 00:14:15,555 WE TALKED SOME ABOUT BARNEY. 359 00:14:15,588 --> 00:14:17,090 WHAT WAS SAID THERE? 360 00:14:17,124 --> 00:14:19,459 OH, I JUST TOLD HER HOW MUCH HE TRUSTED HER 361 00:14:19,492 --> 00:14:21,962 AND HOW HE NEVER DID WORRY ABOUT HER OR ANYTHING. 362 00:14:21,995 --> 00:14:24,097 MM-HMM. WHAT ELSE? 363 00:14:24,131 --> 00:14:27,500 AND HOW HE THOUGHT HE HAD HER IN HIS HIP POCKET. 364 00:14:27,534 --> 00:14:29,436 OH, YOU TOLD HER THAT, HUH? 365 00:14:29,469 --> 00:14:33,006 OH, SHE LIKED THAT. I HAD TO TELL HER TWICE. 366 00:14:33,040 --> 00:14:36,243 WELL, I THINK I'M BEGINNING TO GET THE PICTURE NOW. 367 00:14:36,276 --> 00:14:39,246 I BELIEVE THELMA LOU IS PLAYING A LITTLE GAME WITH BARNEY, 368 00:14:39,279 --> 00:14:40,513 TRYING TO MAKE HIM JEALOUS. 369 00:14:40,547 --> 00:14:42,382 WITH WHO, ANDY? 370 00:14:42,415 --> 00:14:44,952 WITH YOU. HUH? 371 00:14:44,985 --> 00:14:47,387 YEAH, THAT'S WHY SHE ASKED YOU TO THE MOVIES LAST NIGHT, 372 00:14:47,420 --> 00:14:50,423 AND THAT'S WHY POOR OLD BARNEY'S FEELINGS ARE HURT. 373 00:14:50,457 --> 00:14:52,459 YOU DON'T MEAN IT. 374 00:14:52,492 --> 00:14:54,327 WELL, MY GOODNESS. 375 00:14:54,361 --> 00:14:55,695 WELL, I NEVER WOULD HAVE GONE 376 00:14:55,728 --> 00:14:57,630 IF I THOUGHT IT WAS GONNA HURT BARNEY. 377 00:14:57,664 --> 00:14:59,666 HECK, I WOULDN'T DO ANYTHING TO HURT BARNEY. 378 00:14:59,699 --> 00:15:01,068 WELL, OF COURSE YOU WOULDN'T. 379 00:15:01,101 --> 00:15:02,502 I WOULDN'T WANT TO WORRY HIM. 380 00:15:02,535 --> 00:15:04,571 FOLKS LIKE BARNEY OUGHT NOT WORRY. 381 00:15:04,604 --> 00:15:06,940 IT DON'T MATTER SO MUCH WITH FAT PEOPLE, 382 00:15:06,974 --> 00:15:10,143 BUT BARNEY OUGHT NOT WORRY. 383 00:15:10,177 --> 00:15:12,679 WELL, HE'LL GET OVER IT. 384 00:15:12,712 --> 00:15:14,181 SO WILL SHE. 385 00:15:14,214 --> 00:15:16,449 JUST A LITTLE LOVERS' QUARREL IS ALL. 386 00:15:16,483 --> 00:15:17,617 HE OUGHT NOT WORRY. 387 00:15:17,650 --> 00:15:19,586 WELL, I'LL TELL YOU ONE THING -- 388 00:15:19,619 --> 00:15:22,255 IT'S A GOOD THING SHE PICKED ON YOU FOR HER LITTLE SCHEME. 389 00:15:22,289 --> 00:15:24,724 A THING LIKE THAT COULD BACKFIRE, YOU KNOW. HOW DO YOU MEAN? 390 00:15:24,757 --> 00:15:27,127 WELL, SUPPOSE SHE HAD THIS DATE WITH ANOTHER FELLA. 391 00:15:27,160 --> 00:15:29,662 THIS FELLA GOT TO LIKING IT, GOT TO LIKING HER, 392 00:15:29,696 --> 00:15:32,299 WANTED HER TO BE HIS STEADY. 393 00:15:32,332 --> 00:15:36,069 WHAT WOULD HAPPEN THEN? WELL, I'D EXPECT SHE'D DROP HER LITTLE GAME PRETTY FAST 394 00:15:36,103 --> 00:15:37,437 AND GO RUNNING BACK TO BARNEY. 395 00:15:44,044 --> 00:15:45,478 HEY, THELMA LOU. 396 00:15:45,512 --> 00:15:49,016 WELL, GOMER, COME ON IN. 397 00:15:52,385 --> 00:15:54,454 I CERTAINLY WAS SURPRISED TO HEAR FROM YOU. 398 00:15:54,487 --> 00:15:56,256 I-I DIDN'T EXPECT YOU TO CALL. 399 00:15:56,289 --> 00:15:59,592 WELL, I DIDN'T EXPECT TO, NEITHER. 400 00:15:59,626 --> 00:16:01,594 OH, I BRUNG YOU THESE. 401 00:16:01,628 --> 00:16:03,396 THEY'RE ALL HARD CENTERS. 402 00:16:03,430 --> 00:16:05,232 I HOPE YOUR TEETH WILL TAKE 'EM. 403 00:16:05,265 --> 00:16:06,333 THANK YOU, GOMER. 404 00:16:06,366 --> 00:16:07,600 WON'T YOU SIT DOWN? 405 00:16:07,634 --> 00:16:09,202 THANK YOU. 406 00:16:20,680 --> 00:16:22,482 WELL, THE WEATHER 407 00:16:22,515 --> 00:16:24,484 CERTAINLY HAS BEEN LOVELY LATELY, HASN'T IT? 408 00:16:24,517 --> 00:16:26,353 HMM? 409 00:16:26,386 --> 00:16:27,754 OH, YEAH, VERY NICE. 410 00:16:31,691 --> 00:16:33,426 UH, THELMA LOU? 411 00:16:34,794 --> 00:16:36,263 WOULD IT BE A LOT OF TROUBLE 412 00:16:36,296 --> 00:16:37,797 IF I ASKED YOU FOR A CUP OF COFFEE? 413 00:16:37,830 --> 00:16:40,400 OH, NO. NO TROUBLE AT ALL. 414 00:16:40,433 --> 00:16:41,801 THANK YOU. 415 00:16:41,834 --> 00:16:43,303 WON'T TAKE ME LONG. I'LL BE RIGHT BACK. 416 00:16:43,336 --> 00:16:45,638 DON'T HURRY. 417 00:16:54,581 --> 00:16:56,049 HELLO, SARAH? 418 00:16:56,083 --> 00:16:58,118 GET ME SHERIFF TAYLOR. 419 00:17:01,121 --> 00:17:03,623 HELLO? OH, HELLO, GOMER. 420 00:17:03,656 --> 00:17:05,792 I'M OVER AT THELMA LOU'S, BUT SHE AIN'T IN THE ROOM. 421 00:17:05,825 --> 00:17:07,494 LISTEN. You're where? 422 00:17:07,527 --> 00:17:09,162 I WANT TO TRY THAT YOU-KNOW-WHAT 423 00:17:09,196 --> 00:17:10,497 YOU WAS TALKING ABOUT TODAY, 424 00:17:10,530 --> 00:17:12,232 ABOUT HER SCHEME BACKFIRING. 425 00:17:12,265 --> 00:17:14,367 WELL, THAT'S WHAT I'M FIXING TO DO, IS BACKFIRE AT HER. 426 00:17:14,401 --> 00:17:15,535 GOMER, WAIT -- 427 00:17:15,568 --> 00:17:17,270 I AIN'T GOT MUCH TIME, 428 00:17:17,304 --> 00:17:20,273 BUT DO YOU THINK IT'D WORK IF I SAID SOMETHING LIKE, 429 00:17:20,307 --> 00:17:22,442 "THELMA LOU, IT SEEMS THAT YOU FEEL ABOUT ME 430 00:17:22,475 --> 00:17:24,611 "THE SAME AS I DO ABOUT YOU, 431 00:17:24,644 --> 00:17:26,379 SO I'D LIKE YOU TO GO STEADY WITH ME"? 432 00:17:26,413 --> 00:17:28,581 DO YOU THINK IF I SAID SOMETHING LIKE THAT, 433 00:17:28,615 --> 00:17:30,417 IT'D SCARE HER REAL GOOD LIKE YOU SAID? 434 00:17:30,450 --> 00:17:32,252 GOMER, LISTEN, I DON'T THINK -- 435 00:17:32,285 --> 00:17:33,820 DO YOU THINK THAT'S ENOUGH BACKFIRE TALK 436 00:17:33,853 --> 00:17:35,622 TO SCARE HER RIGHT BACK INTO BARNEY'S ARMS? 437 00:17:36,823 --> 00:17:37,790 OH, HERE SHE COMES. 438 00:17:37,824 --> 00:17:39,659 I GOT TO HANG UP NOW. 439 00:17:45,265 --> 00:17:47,467 WELL, HERE WE ARE. 440 00:17:49,602 --> 00:17:50,837 THELMA LOU? 441 00:17:50,870 --> 00:17:52,805 YES? 442 00:17:52,839 --> 00:17:54,274 UH... 443 00:17:54,307 --> 00:17:55,308 THELMA LOU... 444 00:17:55,342 --> 00:17:57,310 YES? 445 00:17:57,344 --> 00:18:00,180 UH... 446 00:18:00,213 --> 00:18:02,849 THELMA LOU, IT SEEMS THAT YOU FEEL ABOUT ME 447 00:18:02,882 --> 00:18:04,884 THE SAME AS I FEEL ABOUT ME. 448 00:18:04,917 --> 00:18:06,486 I MEAN, UH -- 449 00:18:06,519 --> 00:18:09,422 I MEAN THAT YOU FEEL THE SAME ABOUT YOU 450 00:18:09,456 --> 00:18:11,158 AS I FEEL ABOUT ME. 451 00:18:11,191 --> 00:18:12,459 NO, THAT AIN'T RIGHT. 452 00:18:12,492 --> 00:18:14,694 NOW, GOMER, GOMER, JUST CALM DOWN NOW. 453 00:18:14,727 --> 00:18:16,529 TAKE IT EASY, AND DON'T BE NERVOUS. 454 00:18:16,563 --> 00:18:18,265 THELMA LOU, 455 00:18:18,298 --> 00:18:23,503 IT SEEMS THAT YOU FEEL ABOUT ME THE SAME AS, UH... 456 00:18:23,536 --> 00:18:26,673 DO YOU MEAN THAT WE FEEL THE SAME ABOUT EACH OTHER? 457 00:18:26,706 --> 00:18:29,642 GEE, THELMA LOU, YOU'RE A BIG HELP. 458 00:18:41,721 --> 00:18:43,490 CRAWLING -- THAT'S WHAT I'M DOING. 459 00:18:43,523 --> 00:18:45,358 I'M CRAWLING. 460 00:19:02,975 --> 00:19:04,677 ...SO IF YOU'RE NOT ATTACHED TO ANYTHING, 461 00:19:04,711 --> 00:19:06,379 AND I'M NOT ATTACHED TO ANYTHING, 462 00:19:06,413 --> 00:19:07,914 MAYBE WE CAN GET ATTACHED TOGETHER. 463 00:19:10,250 --> 00:19:13,953 THELMA LOU, I WANT YOU TO BE MY STEADY. 464 00:19:13,986 --> 00:19:15,855 GOMER, I'D LOVE TO. 465 00:19:18,991 --> 00:19:20,927 NO, NO, WAIT! THAT AIN'T THE WAY IT GOES! 466 00:19:20,960 --> 00:19:22,462 IT DON'T GO LIKE THAT! 467 00:19:34,341 --> 00:19:36,376 BARNEY, IS ANYTHING WRONG? 468 00:19:36,409 --> 00:19:38,578 OH, NO. NOTHING'S WRONG. 469 00:19:38,611 --> 00:19:40,680 JUST THAT EVERYTHING HAS GONE SMASH, THAT'S ALL. 470 00:19:40,713 --> 00:19:42,215 WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? 471 00:19:42,249 --> 00:19:43,916 WE'RE ALL THROUGH, THELMA LOU AND ME. 472 00:19:43,950 --> 00:19:45,552 IT'S ALL SHOT. 473 00:19:45,585 --> 00:19:46,819 IT'S ALL COME TO AN END. 474 00:19:46,853 --> 00:19:49,489 AFTER ALL THESE YEARS, SMASH! 475 00:19:49,522 --> 00:19:52,225 HOLD IT DOWN A LITTLE. Y-YOU'LL WAKE OPIE AND AUNT BEE. 476 00:19:52,259 --> 00:19:53,726 IF ONLY I HADN'T SEEN THEM, ANDY, BUT I DID. 477 00:19:53,760 --> 00:19:54,861 I SEEN THEM WITH MY OWN EYES. 478 00:19:54,894 --> 00:19:56,496 WELL, WHAT'D YOU SEE? 479 00:19:56,529 --> 00:19:58,531 THEY WERE KISSING, ANDY -- HUGGING AND KISSING. 480 00:19:58,565 --> 00:20:00,233 YOU COULDN'T HAVE GOTTEN A PIECE 481 00:20:00,267 --> 00:20:01,368 OF TISSUE PAPER BETWEEN THEM. 482 00:20:01,401 --> 00:20:02,535 THEY WERE THAT CLOSE. 483 00:20:02,569 --> 00:20:04,471 THEY WERE KISSING! WHO WAS KISSING? 484 00:20:04,504 --> 00:20:05,505 THELMA LOU AND GOMER. 485 00:20:05,538 --> 00:20:06,573 KISSING? KISSING! 486 00:20:06,606 --> 00:20:07,640 Shh! Kissing. 487 00:20:11,878 --> 00:20:13,280 HEY, GOMER. 488 00:20:13,313 --> 00:20:14,747 ANDY. 489 00:20:14,781 --> 00:20:16,716 OH, BARNEY, I DIDN'T KNOW YOU WAS GONNA BE HERE. 490 00:20:16,749 --> 00:20:18,318 ALL RIGHT, COME ON. JUST PUT THEM UP. 491 00:20:18,351 --> 00:20:19,819 COME ON, COME ON. PUT 'EM UP. ANDY. 492 00:20:19,852 --> 00:20:21,020 COME TO ME! 493 00:20:21,053 --> 00:20:23,290 BARNEY, BARNEY, BARNEY, BARNEY! 494 00:20:23,323 --> 00:20:24,691 HOLD STILL, HOLD STILL, HOLD STILL! 495 00:20:24,724 --> 00:20:25,992 ANDY, SOMETHING WENT WRONG. 496 00:20:26,025 --> 00:20:27,494 SOMETHING WENT TERRIBLE WRONG. 497 00:20:27,527 --> 00:20:28,795 GOMER, I TOLD YOU NOT TO DO IT. 498 00:20:28,828 --> 00:20:30,497 COME ON, COME ON! PUT THEM UP! 499 00:20:30,530 --> 00:20:31,698 BARNEY, BARNEY, BARNEY, BARNEY, BARNEY, STOP THAT! 500 00:20:31,731 --> 00:20:32,965 STOP THAT! NOW, WHAT HAPPENED? 501 00:20:32,999 --> 00:20:35,402 I DON'T KNOW, BUT IT WAS JUST TERRIBLE. 502 00:20:35,435 --> 00:20:36,703 COME ON! IT'S ALL RIGHT. I'M IN MY CIVVIES. 503 00:20:36,736 --> 00:20:38,471 COME ON, COME ON. BARNEY, BARNEY, BARNEY! 504 00:20:38,505 --> 00:20:39,806 NOW TELL ME WHAT WENT WRONG. COME ON, COME ON. 505 00:20:39,839 --> 00:20:41,274 WELL, I CAN'T THINK 506 00:20:41,308 --> 00:20:42,475 WITH HIM TRYING GET AT ME LIKE THAT. 507 00:20:42,509 --> 00:20:43,710 BARNEY, WILL YOU -- WILL YOU HOLD -- 508 00:20:43,743 --> 00:20:45,278 WILL YOU JUST HOLD STILL? JUST HOLD STILL! 509 00:20:45,312 --> 00:20:46,779 N SHE KISSED YOU, HUH? 510 00:20:46,813 --> 00:20:48,014 YEAH, THAT'S RIGHT, ANDY. 511 00:20:48,047 --> 00:20:49,682 SHE KISSED ME RIGHT FLUSH ON THE JAW. 512 00:20:49,716 --> 00:20:51,518 AND YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS, DON'T YOU? 513 00:20:51,551 --> 00:20:53,353 THERE'S ONLY ONE THING I CAN DO NOW. 514 00:20:53,386 --> 00:20:54,887 ONLY ONE HONORABLE THING. 515 00:20:54,921 --> 00:20:56,856 IF SHE KISSED ME LIKE THAT, I GOT TO MARRY HER. 516 00:20:56,889 --> 00:20:58,791 HUH?! COME ON, PUT 'EM UP! 517 00:20:58,825 --> 00:21:00,327 COME ON, COME TO ME. COME TO ME. 518 00:21:00,360 --> 00:21:01,528 BARNEY, BARNEY, BARNEY, BARNEY! 519 00:21:01,561 --> 00:21:03,296 ONE SOCK, ANDY. 520 00:21:03,330 --> 00:21:04,297 COME ON, STOP THAT. 521 00:21:04,331 --> 00:21:05,532 STOP THAT. STOP THAT. 522 00:21:05,565 --> 00:21:07,600 THIS THING'S GONE FAR ENOUGH. 523 00:21:07,634 --> 00:21:08,935 WE'LL GO OVER TO THELMA LOU'S. 524 00:21:08,968 --> 00:21:10,470 I KNOW JUST HOW TO DO IT. 525 00:21:10,503 --> 00:21:11,971 WE'LL GO TO THELMA LOU'S. COME ON. 526 00:21:12,004 --> 00:21:13,306 COME ON. WANT TO PUT 'EM UP? 527 00:21:13,340 --> 00:21:15,508 COME ON. PUT 'EM UP. 528 00:21:15,542 --> 00:21:16,843 MARRY HIM? 529 00:21:16,876 --> 00:21:18,478 THAT'S RIGHT. 530 00:21:18,511 --> 00:21:20,380 SEE, GOMER COMES FROM A FAMILY 531 00:21:20,413 --> 00:21:22,515 WITH A VERY STRICT CODE OF CONDUCT. 532 00:21:22,549 --> 00:21:25,485 AND WHEN A GIRL KISSES A FELLA, LIKE YOU KISSED GOMER -- 533 00:21:25,518 --> 00:21:27,687 RIGHT FLUSH ON THE JAW. YEAH. 534 00:21:27,720 --> 00:21:29,656 IT'S MARRYING TIME, AND NO TWO WAYS ABOUT IT. 535 00:21:29,689 --> 00:21:32,325 BUT, ANDY, IT WAS ALL A JOKE. 536 00:21:32,359 --> 00:21:34,394 A JOKE? 537 00:21:34,427 --> 00:21:36,363 YOU MEAN YOU WERE TRIFLING WITH GOMER? 538 00:21:36,396 --> 00:21:38,465 I HEARD HIM TALKING TO YOU ON THE PHONE, 539 00:21:38,498 --> 00:21:40,099 AND I WAS JUST TRYING TO TEACH HIM A LESSON. 540 00:21:40,132 --> 00:21:42,869 OH, I SEE, I SEE. 541 00:21:42,902 --> 00:21:45,338 DID YOU HEAR THAT, GOMER? IT WAS A JOKE. 542 00:21:45,372 --> 00:21:47,940 IS IT A JOKE WHEN A GIRL KISSES YOU LIKE THAT? 543 00:21:47,974 --> 00:21:49,876 NO, SIRREE, IT AIN'T NO JOKE TO ME. 544 00:21:49,909 --> 00:21:52,579 WELL, WHAT DOES IT MEAN WHEN A FELLA AND A GIRL KISS? 545 00:21:52,612 --> 00:21:54,080 MEANS THEY GOT TO MARRY. 546 00:21:54,113 --> 00:21:55,615 THERE YOU ARE. 547 00:21:55,648 --> 00:21:57,417 OH, NO! 548 00:21:57,450 --> 00:21:58,718 SHOOT, MY MAMA AND DADDY 549 00:21:58,751 --> 00:22:01,788 JUST SHOOK HANDS ON THEIR DEAL. 550 00:22:01,821 --> 00:22:04,924 'COURSE NOW, MAYBE, UH... 551 00:22:04,957 --> 00:22:08,628 MAYBE THELMA LOU COULD, UH -- COULD TAKE THE KISS BACK. 552 00:22:08,661 --> 00:22:10,430 WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT THAT, THELMA LOU? 553 00:22:10,463 --> 00:22:12,499 THINK YOU MIGHT BE ABLE TO TAKE THE KISS BACK? 554 00:22:12,532 --> 00:22:14,567 WELL, I SUPPOSE I COULD. 555 00:22:14,601 --> 00:22:16,803 HOW ABOUT IT, GOMER? 556 00:22:16,836 --> 00:22:18,938 THINK IT MIGHT BE ALL RIGHT IF THELMA LOU TOOK THE KISS BACK? 557 00:22:18,971 --> 00:22:20,673 WELL... 558 00:22:23,643 --> 00:22:25,745 SHAZAM! 559 00:22:25,778 --> 00:22:27,013 IF I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT YOU WAS DOING, 560 00:22:27,046 --> 00:22:28,715 I'D THINK YOU WAS GIVING ME ANOTHER. 561 00:22:28,748 --> 00:22:32,552 NOW, THEN, THERE'S A YOUNG FELLA OUT IN THE SQUAD CAR. 562 00:22:32,585 --> 00:22:33,886 LET'S SEE IF I CAN GET HIM IN HERE. 563 00:22:33,920 --> 00:22:35,922 OH, PLEASE, ANDY, MAKE HIM COME IN. 564 00:22:35,955 --> 00:22:37,790 I'LL DO MY BEST. 565 00:22:40,493 --> 00:22:42,995 I'M SORRY FOR FOOLING YOU THE WAY I DID, GOMER. 566 00:22:43,029 --> 00:22:44,631 OH, THAT'S ALL RIGHT, THELMA LOU. 567 00:22:44,664 --> 00:22:47,834 I'M JUST SO RELIEVED I DON'T HAVE TO MARRY YOU. WHY? 568 00:22:47,867 --> 00:22:50,002 DO YOU THINK IT'D BE SO AWFUL IF YOU DID MARRY ME? 569 00:22:50,036 --> 00:22:51,404 OH, YES, MA'AM. 570 00:22:51,438 --> 00:22:53,039 FOR ONE THING, YOU'RE BARNEY'S GIRL, 571 00:22:53,072 --> 00:22:54,874 AND FOR ANOTHER, THAT ROOM I GOT 572 00:22:54,907 --> 00:22:56,743 IN THE BACK OF THE FILLING STATION 573 00:22:56,776 --> 00:22:58,578 AIN'T HARDLY BIG ENOUGH FOR ME. 574 00:23:05,952 --> 00:23:08,788 BARNEY, I'M TERRIBLY SORRY 575 00:23:08,821 --> 00:23:09,856 FOR ALL THAT'S HAPPENED, 576 00:23:09,889 --> 00:23:11,824 BUT PLEASE DON'T EVER SAY 577 00:23:11,858 --> 00:23:14,627 YOU GOT ME IN YOUR HIP POCKET. 578 00:23:14,661 --> 00:23:17,564 LET'S JUST FORGET ABOUT IT -- PRETEND IT DIDN'T HAPPEN. 579 00:23:19,131 --> 00:23:20,967 LET'S GO, GOMER. 580 00:23:21,000 --> 00:23:22,902 CAN'T WE, BARNEY? 581 00:23:22,935 --> 00:23:24,637 LET'S GO, GOMER. 582 00:23:24,671 --> 00:23:26,773 PLEASE? GOMER! 583 00:23:26,806 --> 00:23:29,141 I'M SURE WILLING TO MAKE UP IF YOU ARE. 584 00:23:29,175 --> 00:23:30,943 AIN'T YOU GONNA KISS HER ON THE JAW, BARNEY? 585 00:23:30,977 --> 00:23:32,779 WELL, I AM IF YOU EVER GET OUT OF HERE! 586 00:23:32,812 --> 00:23:34,881 COME ON, GOMER. HE WAS JUST STANDING THERE. 587 00:23:34,914 --> 00:23:36,816 HE WASN'T DOING NOTHING. 588 00:23:39,552 --> 00:23:41,888 GOMER, COME ON! COME ON! 589 00:23:44,691 --> 00:23:46,025 * YA, BUM, BA-BA-BUM 590 00:23:46,058 --> 00:23:48,595 WELL, YOU SEEM IN HIGH SPIRITS THIS MORNING. 591 00:23:48,628 --> 00:23:49,729 EVERYTHING WORK OUT OKAY 592 00:23:49,762 --> 00:23:50,830 BETWEEN YOU AND THELMA LOU? 593 00:23:50,863 --> 00:23:52,131 YEAH. 594 00:23:52,164 --> 00:23:53,566 IT'S ALL IRONED OUT, ANDY. 595 00:23:54,967 --> 00:23:57,136 WE HAD A LONG TALK AND IRONED OUT ALL OUR PROBLEMS. 596 00:23:57,169 --> 00:23:58,738 GOOD. I'M GLAD TO HEAR IT. 597 00:23:58,771 --> 00:24:01,107 YES, SIR. 598 00:24:01,140 --> 00:24:03,042 THE BIG ISSUE'S BEEN SETTLED. 599 00:24:03,075 --> 00:24:05,945 AS OF LAST NIGHT, THERE'S GONNA BE NO MORE TROUBLE 600 00:24:05,978 --> 00:24:07,980 LIKE WE JUST WENT THROUGH. 601 00:24:08,014 --> 00:24:10,983 DON'T TELL ME YOU SETTLED ON THAT BIG IMPORTANT DAY. 602 00:24:11,017 --> 00:24:13,252 WE SURE DID. 603 00:24:13,285 --> 00:24:15,522 FROM NOW ON, TUESDAY NIGHT'S AN UNBREAKABLE DATE, 604 00:24:15,555 --> 00:24:16,856 AND NEITHER PARTY CAN CANCEL 605 00:24:16,889 --> 00:24:18,691 WITHOUT GIVING THE OTHER THREE DAYS' NOTICE. 606 00:24:18,725 --> 00:24:19,892 I THOUGHT FOR A MINUTE THERE 607 00:24:19,926 --> 00:24:21,193 YOU'D SETTLED ON A WEDDING DATE. 608 00:24:21,227 --> 00:24:23,162 WEDDING? WHAT DO YOU MEAN, "WEDDING"? 609 00:24:23,195 --> 00:24:24,964 LIKE I TOLD THELMA LOU, 610 00:24:24,997 --> 00:24:26,699 MARRY IN HASTE AND REPENT IN LEISURE. 611 00:24:26,733 --> 00:24:28,868 WE'VE BEEN IN AGREEMENT ABOUT THAT FOR YEARS. 612 00:24:28,901 --> 00:24:30,670 WHY RUSH? 613 00:24:30,703 --> 00:24:32,204 WE GOT NOTHING BUT TIME. 614 00:24:32,238 --> 00:24:35,241 I'M NOT GOING ANYPLACE. SHE'S NOT GOING ANYPLACE. 615 00:24:35,274 --> 00:24:36,976 WHAT AM I WORRIED ABOUT? 616 00:24:37,009 --> 00:24:38,911 I GOT THAT LITTLE GIRL RIGHT IN MY HIP POCKET. 44075

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