Original subtitles

STARRING ANDY GRIFFITH...

WITH RONNY HOWARD...

ALSO STARRING DON KNOTTS.

WHAT DID YOU AND THELMA LOU DO AFTER THE MOVIE LAST NIGHT?

OH, WE DROPPED BY NELSON'S HARDWARE STORE.

HE'S GOT A NEW WINDOW DISPLAY --

BICYCLE ACCESSORIES.

BICYCLE ACCESSORIES?

YEAH, HE'S FEATURING A TRANSPARENT-PLASTIC TOOL KIT,

YOU KNOW, THAT YOU CAN HANG ON THE BICYCLE SEAT.

THEY'RE REALLY PRACTICAL. YOU KNOW THAT?

I MEAN, SAY YOU GOT A PAIR OF PLIERS,

A SCREWDRIVER, A WRENCH,

AND, SAY, A HALF A CANDY BAR.

WELL, YOU KNOW AT A GLANCE WHAT YOU GOT.

WELL, I DON'T KNOW. I PREFER THE SOLID BLACK ONES.

I MEAN, WHAT I GOT IN MY BICYCLE KIT'S MY BUSINESS.

I SUPPOSE.

YOO

WELL, CHARLENE DARLING WASH.

HI, CHARLENE.

-BLESS YOUR HEART.

-COME ON IN HERE, I DECLARE. -HI.

-HI, MR. DEPUTY.

WHERE'S -- WHERE'S MR. DARLING AND

OH, THEY'RE STILL UP IN THE MOUNTAINS, I RECKON.

YOU MEAN YOU MADE THAT LONG TRIP ALL BY YOURSELF?

-UH-HUH.

WELL, WHAT -- WHAT BRINGS YOU IN TOWN ALL ALONE, CHARLENE?

OH, I-I JUST THOUGHT I'D COME IN.

OH. DOING A LITTLE CLOTHES BUYING, ARE YOU?

NO, I AIN'T HERE FOR STORE SHOPPING.

-I JUST GOT A TINY ERRAND.

OH, I SEE.

WONDER IF MAYBE YOU COULD HELP ME OUT.

WELL, SURE. I'LL BE GLAD TO.

I WANT YOU TO DRIVE ME SOMEWHERE.

WELL, CERTAINLY, CHARLENE. WHERE DO YOU WANT TO GO?

I CAN'T TELL YOU THAT.

YOU CAN'T TELL ME?

I'LL TELL YOU WHEN WE GET THERE.

WELL, CAN'T YOU GIVE ME A LITTLE HINT?

NO. YOU'LL SEE.

WELL, YOU CERTAINLY ARE BEING MYSTERIOUS.

I'LL TELL YOU LATER.

OH, WELL --

WELL, LOOK, ANDY, IT'S TIME TO CHECK THE TOWN ANYWAY,

SO WHY DON'T WE JUST GO?

WELL...ALL RIGHT. I'LL JUST GET MY COAT.

-YEAH, I BETTER TELL SARAH. -COME ON, CHARLENE.

I DECLARE, YOU'RE -- YOU'RE JUST A SIGHT FOR SORE EYES.

BLESS YOUR HEART.

HELLO, SARAH? DEPUTY FIFE.

NOW, LOOK, ANDY AND ME ARE GONNA BE OUT FOR A LITTLE WHILE,

SO IF ANY EMERGENCY CALLS COME IN

OR ANY PROBLEMS COME UP...

UH...WE WON'T BE HERE.

YOU WANT TO STOP HERE?

THAT'S AN OAK TREE, AIN'T IT?

YEAH.

THEN THIS IS WHERE I WANT TO STOP.

IS THERE A SHOVEL IN THE BACK OF THE CAR?

SURE. THAT'S PART OF OUR OFFICIAL EQUIPMENT.

CAN I USE IT?

UH, CHARLENE --

ANGE?

I THINK I KNOW WHAT SHE'S UP TO NOW.

WHAT?

I'LL EXPLAIN LATER. I'M NOT SURE YET.

HERE YOU ARE.

DO YOU GET IT NOW?

LOOKS LIKE SHE'S GONNA BURY THAT SACK.

MY GUESS IS THERE'S SOMEBODY SICK UP IN THE MOUNTAINS

AND THIS IS PART OF THE CURE -- KIND OF A RITUAL.

I GUESS THAT'S WHY SHE'S SO MYSTERIOUS.

YEAH. COULD BE PART OF THE RITUAL.

COULD EVEN BE THAT SHE'S THE ONE SEEKING THE CURE HERSELF.

MAYBE SHE'S TRYING TO GET RID OF THE WARTS,

OR SHE'S GOT THE VERSITIS OR SOME SICKNESS LIKE THAT.

UH, UNH-UNH.

GO ON. IT AIN'T LIKE YOU TO DENY THE SICK.

GO ON.

BEAK OF OWL, STRIP OF SWINE, TOOTH OF COMB,

TAKE MINE FROM THINE.

KINABA IN, KINABA OUT.

KINABA IN AND 'ROUND ABOUT.

DONE AND DONE.

GOOD.

HOW DO YOU FEEL?

WONDERFUL.

NOW I CAN BE YOURS.

W WAIT A MINUTE, CHARLENE.

WAIT A MINUTE.

THIS AIN'T GOT ANYTHING TO DO WITH CURING ANY SICKNESS.

OH, I AIN'T CURING ANY SICKNESS.

-I'M GETTING A DIVORCE.

WELL, I JUST BURIED THE BEAK OF AN OWL,

FOUR TAIL FEATHERS FROM A CHICKENHAWK,

A PIECE OF BACON, AND A BROKE COMB,

AND I INCANTED OVER THEM.

THAT'S THE DIVORCE PROCEEDINGS.

FROM NOW TILL THE MOON COMES FULL IS THE WAITING PERIOD.

LET ME GET THIS STRAIGHT.

YOU'RE DIVORCING DUD WASH?

-YES!

WELL, I'LL TELL YOU WHY.

LAST SUNDAY PREACHING, I CAUGHT HIM

LOOKING OVER AT IDELL BUSHEY AND GRINNING AT HER.

-W-WELL, CHARLENE -- -WELL, TWO CAN PLAY THAT GAME.

I'M GONNA TEACH HIM A LESSON HE AIN'T GONNA FORGET.

WELL, NOW, CHARLENE, YOU MIGHT BE GETTING A LITTLE HASTY HERE.

SO HE GRINNED AT ANOTHER GIRL. SO WHAT?

WELL, SHE AIN'T JUST ANOTHER GIRL.

HE USED TO GO WITH HER.

AND HE AIN'T LOST IT ALL FOR HER YET.

-OH. -THAT AIN'T ALL.

YOU KNOW WHAT ELSE HE DID?

HE WENT HUNTING FOXES WITH OLD HASTY BURFORD,

AND HE DIDN'T COME HOME TILL WEDNESDAY A WEEK.

WELL, MAYBE HE'S TRYING TO GET YOU SOME MAKINGS

FOR A FOX PIE OR A NICE FUR COLLAR TO WEAR TO PREACHING.

NO, HE WASN'T. I KNOW WHAT THEY DO UP THERE IN THE HILLS.

THEY SIT AROUND DRINKING HARD CIDER

AND PUNCHING EACH OTHER IN THE ARMS AND HOLLERING "FLINCH."

I DON'T WANT HIM ANYMORE. IT'S PLAIN HE JUST DON'T LOVE ME.

WELL, NOW, CHARLENE, THAT CAN'T BE SO.

I'M GONNA TEACH HIM A LESSON HE AIN'T GONNA FORGET.

I'M GONNA LEAVE HIM... AND MARRY YOU.

WELL...

CHARLENE. CHARLENE, WE'RE HERE.

WE'RE HERE, CHARLENE. WE'RE HERE.

CHARLENE, WE'RE HERE.

NOW, CHARLENE.

WE'RE GONNA HAVE TO GO IN

AND HAVE A SERIOUS TALK ABOUT THIS.

NOW, THIS IS RIDICULOUS.

ANDY, I'M GONNA GO OVER TO THE LIBRARY.

GOSH, YOU'RE PRETTY.

WHAT ARE YOU GOING OVER THERE FOR?

WELL, UH, I'M GONNA GET A BOOK ON MOUNTAIN FOLKLORE,

DO A LITTLE RESEARCH.

I'M GONNA GET YOU OUT OF THIS.

I'M NOT IN ANYTHING TO GET OUT OF.

WELL...UH, I'LL JUST GET YOU OFF THE HOOK, FELLA.

NOW, CHARLENE.

CHARLENE.

WE'RE GOING IN HERE.

AND WE'RE GONNA HAVE A TALK ABOUT THIS THING.

PA?

MR. DARLING?

CHARLENE DARLING WASH.

RUNNING AWAY!

LEAVING A WEEPING HUSBAND FOR US TO COMFORT.

I HAD TO, PA.

I COULDN'T LIVE WITH THAT DUD WASH ANOTHER MINUTE.

YOUNG'UN, YOU DON'T KNOW WHEN YOU WELL OFF.

IT DON'T MAKE SENSE RUNNING AWAY FROM A GOOD MAN LIKE DUD WASH.

HOWDY, SHERIFF.

HOW MANY YOUNG GIRLS DO YOU KNOW THAT'S GOT A WOOD FLOOR

AND HUSBAND THAT HARDLY EVER HITS YOU?

MAKES NO SENSE TALKING ABOUT IT, PA. THE DEED'S DONE.

YOU MEAN THE PROCEEDINGS IS IN THE GROUND?

UH-HUH.

WHO'S STANDING ON YOUR RIGHT SIDE FOR THE INCANTATION?

LOVER SHERIFF.

MWAH!

NOW, WAIT A MINUTE.

I HAD NO IDEA WHAT SHE WAS UP TO.

NOW -- NOW WE'RE GONNA HAVE TO SIT DOWN

AND DISCUSS THIS THING INTELLIGENTLY.

I'LL TALK FIRST.

EVER SINCE THE DAY ONE WHEN YOU TWO MET,

YOU'VE BEEN LOCKING EYEBALLS WITH ONE ANOTHER.

-NOW, WAIT A MINUTE. -I AIN'T DONE YET!

YOU'VE BEEN ENGROSSING HER, CHARMING HER,

WOOING HER ON BY PRETENDING YOU DON'T LIKE HER.

NOT FOR ONE MINUTE HAVE I EVER WOOED CHARLENE.

OH, I'VE SEEN HOW YOU HOLD IN YOUR STOMACH WHEN SHE'S AROUND.

LOOK, SHE MAKES ME NERVOUS WHEN SHE'S AROUND.

MY STOMACH GETS TENSE.

THAT'S LOVE!

NOW LOOK, MR. DARLING.

YOU DON'T GO ALONG WITH THIS DIVORCE AND MARRIAGE, DO YOU?

I WOULDN'T.

BUT THE FACT IS

THE RITUAL'S BEEN PERFORMED RIGHT AND PROPER.

DEED'S BEEN DONE.

SO, COME THE NEXT FULL MOON,

WE'S GONNA HAVE OURSELVES A CEREMONY.

I FOUND IT.

-BOOK ON MOUNTAIN FOLKLORE.

WHAT DO YOU WANT WITH THAT?

WHAT DO I WANT WITH IT? ANDY, YOU'RE IN A JAM.

I'M GONNA GET YOU OUT OF IT.

I'M NOT IN ANY JAM.

AND I'M NOT GOING ALONG WITH THIS FOOLISHNESS.

LOOK, ANDY, THIS IS MORE SERIOUS THAN YOU REALIZE.

BARN, THIS IS RIDICULOUS.

LOOK, ANDY, WHY DO YOU THINK

I GOT THIS BOOK IN THE FIRST PLACE?

THERE'S AN ANTIDOTE IN HERE FOR THE DIVORCE PROCEEDINGS.

-NOT INTERESTED. -HERE, I'LL SHOW YOU.

BROKEN COLLAR-- HERE. OH, HERE.

"IF THE INTENDED SHOULD DIG UP THE PROCEEDINGS

"BEFORE THE MOON COMES FULL,

THE DIVORCE PROCEEDINGS ARE NULL AND VOID."

FORGET IT.

ANDY, I'VE HEARD YOU SAY A THOUSAND TIMES,

IF THERE'S A PEACEFUL WAY, TAKE IT.

-BARN. -LOOK, IT'LL BE DARK.

NOBODY'S GONNA SEE YOU.

IF I DIG UP THAT STUFF,

IT MEANS THAT I BELIEVE IN ALL THIS HOCUS-POCUS.

TO THE CONTRARY!

IT MEANS YOU'RE SMART ENOUGH TO BEAT THEM AT THEIR OWN GAME.

COME ON, LET'S GET THE SHOVEL.

NO.

I WANT NO PART OF IT.

HOME WRECKER!

DUD!

-I ACCUSE! -EASY, DUD.

YOU DONE STOLE MY DARLING, CHARLENE,

AND NOW YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO PAY.

WELL, HOW WE GONNA FIGHT IT OUT

-NOW, DUD, LISTEN. -ALL RIGHT, THEN.

-BITING IN BOOTS. -DUD.

ALL RIGHT, HOW ABOUT WILLOW BRANCHES

AND WHITTLING KNIVES, HUH?

LOOK, DUD, LISTEN.

HOW ABOUT JUST PLAIN SLAPPING AND BUTTING, HUH?

YOU WANT TO FIGHT BARE ELBOWS ONLY?

-DUD, DUD.

HUH, MAN? YOU WANT TO FIGHT WITH ONE LEG AND ONE ARM?

COME ON, NOW, SHERIFF. MAKE UP YOUR MIND, SHERIFF.

-I'M TIRED OF THIS.

YOU WANT TO FIGHT LAYING DOWN, BUTTING HEADS?

IF THIS DIVORCE GOES FINAL, I WARN YOU, SHERIFF,

YOUR NAME WILL BE AN OATH UPON MY LIPS.

SHALL WE GET THE SHOVEL?

SILLY. IT'S JUST SILLY.

OH, EVERYTHING'S GOING ALONG JUST FINE.

SMOOTH AS CLOCKWORK.

WE JUST GOT OUT OF THE CAR.

THE REAL FOOLISHNESS HASN'T STARTED YET.

COME ON, LET'S DIG UP THE DIVORCE.

WAIT A MINUTE.

YOU'RE THE BRIDEGROOM. GO ON.

GO ON.

WELL, I'VE DONE SOME FOOLISH THINGS IN MY TIME,

BUT THIS TAKES THE WHOLE BISCUIT.

CUT IT OUT, BARN. QUIT CLOWNING.

MR. DARLING.

EVENING, SON.

ME AND THE BOYS FIGURED

YOU MIGHT TAKE SOME KIND OF A MEASURE.

NOW, WHY DON'T YOU JUST GO ON HOME

AND FORGET ALL THIS NULLING AND VOIDING?

MR. DARLING, I'M A PEACEFUL MAN BY NATURE.

BUT I CAN GET RILED TO ACTION IF THERE'S NO OTHER WAY.

FINE. IT'S GOOD TO GET BAD BLOOD OUT OF A MARRIAGE.

NOW, YOU'RE A PRETTY FAIR SIZE,

SO I FIGURE THE FIVE OF US AGAINST YOU AIN'T TOO BAD.

NOW, WHAT WILL IT BE, BITING IN BOOTS?

HOW ABOUT WILLOW BRANCHES AND WHITTLING KNIVES?

NOW, LOOK, I'M NOT STUPID ENOUGH

TO GET MYSELF ALL BEAT UP AND CUT UP

OVER A SILLY SUPERSTITION

THAT I WANT NOTHING TO DO WITH IN THE FIRST PLACE.

GOOD.

I KNOW'D YOU WOULD COME AROUND TO OUR WAY OF THINKING.

UH, LOOK AWAY, BOYS.

IT AIN'T PROPER TO LOOK AT A BETROTHED COUPLE

WHILE THEY'S COMMUNING WITH ONE ANOTHER.

WELL, THE MOON WILL BE FULL TOMORROW NIGHT.

YEAH.

YOU KNOW, YOU'VE NEVER REALLY LOOKED

ON THE BRIGHT SIDE OF THIS SITUATION.

IS THERE ONE?

WELL, SURE. LET'S EXAMINE IT.

SHE'S A VERY PRETTY GIRL.

SHE'S GOT A GOOD SINGING VOICE. YOU BOTH LOVE MUSIC.

CLEAN BRISCO AND THE BOYS UP,

THEY WOULDN'T BE TOO TOUGH TO LIVE WITH.

YOU GOT THIS GOOD-SIZED HOUSE. OPIE COULD USE A MOTHER.

LET ME GET THIS STRAIGHT.

ARE YOU SUGGESTING THAT I SPEND THE REST OF MY LIFE

WITH A SKINNY, GIGGLING GIRL 15 YEARS YOUNGER THAN I AM?

IS THAT WHAT YOU'RE SUGGESTING?

I WAS JUST TRYING TO HELP.

MM.

I'M GONNA TAKE ANOTHER LOOK IN THE BOOK.

WELL, THAT AIN'T GONNA HELP ANYTHING.

YOU NEVER KNOW.

THERE'S A LOT OF GOOD STUFF IN THIS BOOK.

"PUT A WILLOW CHIP UNDER A DOG'S HEAD WHILE HE'S DREAMING,

"AND THEN PUT IT UNDER YOUR OWN PILLOW,

YOU'LL HAVE THE SAME DREAM."

I DIDN'T KNOW THAT.

"IF A RIDER DRESSED IN BLACK RIDING EAST TO WEST

"ON A WHITE HORSE IN THE LIGHT OF A FULL MOON

"PASSES A BRIDEGROOM,

HE IS CURSED AND THE UNION IS CURSED."

HMM.

LET ME SEE THAT.

WHAT?

THAT PART ABOUT THE WHITE HORSE. WHERE IS THAT?

-RIGHT THERE. -LET ME SEE THAT.

"IF A RIDER DRESSED IN BLACK RIDING EAST TO WEST

"ON A WHITE HORSE IN THE LIGHT OF A FULL MOON

"PASSES A BRIDEGROOM,

HE IS CURSED AND THE UNION IS CURSED."

BARN, THAT'S IT!

THE DARLINGS WILL COME HERE AND GET ME FOR THE WEDDING,

WE'LL WALK OVER TO PREACHER WINSLOW'S HOUSE,

THE WHITE HORSE COMES BY, AND IT'S OVER.

YEAH! YEAH!

ALL WE NEED IS SOMEBODY WILLING

TO DRESS UP IN A BLACK OUTFIT AND RIDE A WHITE HORSE --

SOME PATSY!

I FEEL LIKE A REAL IDIOT.

BLACK MAKES ME LOOK SO THIN.

YOU LOOK FINE.

YEAH. AH-CHOO!

YOU COMING DOWN?

I'M ALLERGIC TO HORSE HAIR, IF YOU MUST KNOW.

-I DIDN'T KNOW THAT. -WELL, YOU KNOW NOW.

REMEMBER WHEN WE WERE KIDS

AND WE ALL HAD OUR PICTURES TAKEN ON THE PONY?

-YEAH. -WELL, NOT ME.

I HAD MINE TAKING SITTING ON THE HOOD

OF MY UNCLE'S HUDSON TERRAPLANE.

WELL, SNEEZING OR NO, YOU GOT TO GO THROUGH THIS FOR ME.

YEAH. WATCH IT, STUPID!

TAKE IT EASY, BARN. HE'S A GENTLE OLD FELLA.

-HE WON'T HURT YOU.

YOU WEAR A RUBY RING AND RIDE AN OLD HORSE,

THE HORSE WILL GO MAD.

-THE BOOK, THE BOOK!

WATCH IT! WHOA!

HE AIN'T WEARING A RUBY RING.

WELL, HE DON'T KNOW THAT. AH-CHOO!

GET ON. LET'S SEE HOW YOU LOOK.

-OKAY. -DON'T. DON'T DO THAT, ANGE.

-I'LL DO IT. -NO, NO.

I'M JUST TRYING TO HELP YOU OUT.

-I WANT TO DO IT BY MYSELF! -ALL RIGHT.

AH-CHOO!

JUST GET ON.

OKAY. YOU LOOK FINE.

DON'T TELL HIM TO MOVE YET.

YOU'LL HAVE TO DO THAT. YOU'LL HAVE TO TELL HIM TO MOVE.

NOW, GIVE ME A HALF-HOUR, AND REMEMBER, EAST TO WEST.

EAST TO WEST.

DON'T TELL ME, TELL HIM.

AH-CHOO!

* SUNNY ON THE MOUNTAINTOP, SHADY IN THE HOLLOW *

* EVERYWHERE MY TRUE LOVE GOES, I'LL BE BOUND TO FOLLOW *

* SHADY GROVE, MY LITTLE LOVE, SHADY GROVE, MY DEAR *

* SHADY GROVE, MY LITTLE LOVE, GOING AWAY FROM HERE *

* WISH I HAD A NEEDLE AND THREAD, FINE AS I CAN SEW *

* SEW MY LOVE TO MY COATTAIL, AND DOWN THE ROAD I'D GO *

* WISH I HAD A PIG IN A PEN, CORN TO FEED HIM ON *

* BIG, STRONG MAN, STAY AT HOME, AND FEED HIM WHEN I'M GONE *

* SHADY GROVE, MY LITTLE LOVE, SHADY GROVE, MY DEAR *

* SHADY GROVE, MY LITTLE LOVE, GOING AWAY FROM HERE *

* SHADY GROVE, MY LITTLE LOVE, SHADY GROVE, MY DEAR *

* SHADY GROVE, MY LITTLE LOVE, GOING AWAY FROM HERE *

REAL GOOD. REAL GOOD.

-WELL, SHERIFF. -LOVER DARLING!

YOU KNOW, I DIDN'T THINK YOU WAS GONNA SHOW UP.

THOUGHT I WAS GONNA HAVE TO COME AND GET YOU.

OH, NO, MR. DARLING.

I DECIDED TO GO RIGHT ALONG WITH YOU ON THIS MARRIAGE IDEA.

YOU'RE SWEETER THAN SOURWOOD HONEY. MWAH!

WELL, THE MOON'S FULL AND CHARLENE'S FREE.

LET'S GET ON DOWN TO THE PREACHER'S HOUSE

AND GET THIS MARRYING OVER WITH.

UH, COULD WE, UH --

COULD WE, UH -- COULD WE, UH, UH, UH --

WELL, I HARDLY EVER SEE YOUR PA,

AND I THOUGHT WE'D JUST, UH, VISIT FOR A WHILE.

OH, THERE'LL BE TIME FOR THAT.

I BLAME YOU, SHERIFF. YOU DID IT.

-COME ON, NOW. LET'S FIGHT. -DUD.

KNIVES AND BRANCHES? KICKING AND BITING?

HOW ABOUT JUST PLAIN STOMPING? YOU NAME IT.

HOW ABOUT JUST NAME CALLING, 'CAUSE I GOT A NAME FOR YOU, SHERIFF.

AND, SHERIFF, YOU KNOW WHAT THAT NAME IS, HUH?

READY, SHERIFF?

-UH, WELL -- -BOYS.

I'M GONNA TELL YOU WHAT YOU ARE, SHERIFF.

BOYS.

I'M GONNA TELL YOU WHAT YOU ARE, SHERIFF.

YOU WANT TO KNOW WHAT YOU ARE, SHERIFF?

I'M GONNA TELL YOU RIGHT NOW, SHERIFF.

I'LL TELL YOU WHAT YOU ARE RIGHT NOW.

YOU ARE --

D

YOU GOT A SORE FOOT?

UH, YEAH.

YOU BETTER PUT A BUCKEYE IN YOUR POCKET

AND DO THE INCANT FOR A SORE FOOT.

AH-CHOO!

COME ON, GO THATAWAY. EAST TO WEST. COME ON.

EAST TO WEST. EAST TO WEST.

COME ON. MOVE. COME ON, BOY.

COME ON. COME ON. NO, THATAWAY. EAST.

EAST TO WEST. COME ON. LET'S GO.

COME ON. COME ON. OH! AH-CHOO!

UH, UH, I -- I THINK --

I THINK I LOST MY COMB.

BOYS?

YOU LOOK FINE. JUST FINE.

BETTER THAN FINE.

REAL PRETTY.

GOSH, YOU'RE PRETTIER THAN A PINK ROSE.

EAST TO WEST, YOU FOOL!

AH-CHOO! EAST TO WEST! EAST TO WEST!

GIDDYAP. COME ON. GIDDYAP. GET.

E-EVENING, BARNEY.

FLOYD.

YOU SEEM TO BE ON A HORSE.

YES, FLOYD, I AM.

WELL, THE REASON I WAS SO SURPRISED

WAS I JUST WASN'T EXPECTING YOU.

COME ON. COME ON.

COME ON, LET'S GO. COME ON.

W-W-WELL, DON'T LEAVE ON MY ACCOUNT.

PAIN OF HEEL, ACHE OF TOE,

VANISH NOW FROM MY SWEET BEAU.

IT MIGHT NOT WORK.

I DON'T HAVE A BUCKEYE IN MY POCKET.

WELL...

THAT'S NORTH TO SOUTH.

LET'S GET ON.

EAST TO WEST. EAST TO WEST.

EAST -- COME ON!

COME ON! COME ON!

MOVE! MOVE!

COME ON! THAT WAY! COME ON! THAT WAY!

STOP. STOP RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE.

CHARLENE, YOU CAN'T GO THROUGH WITH THIS.

IT'S TOO LATE, DUDLEY T. WASH. IT'S DONE AND DONE.

YOU GOT TO TAKE ME BACK, CHARLENE.

OUR LOVE CAN NEVER DIE.

-OH, POOH. -BUT I LOVE YOU, CHARLENE.

I SWEAR WITH ALL MY WORLDLY BELONGINGS AND MY HEART.

I LOVE YOU TRULY.

WHAT ABOUT IDELL BUSHEY? WHAT ABOUT HER?

I'LL NEVER LOOK AT IDELL BUSHEY AGAIN.

BOYS.

HEY, WAIT A MINUTE.

I THINK I HEAR SOMETHING IMPORTANT.

AH-CHOO!

PA! PA, IT'S THE CURSE OF THE WHITE HORSE.

THE CURSE OF THE WHITE HORSE.

WITH A BLACK RIDER.

GOING EAST TO WEST.

SERVES YOU RIGHT! SERVES YOU RIGHT!

THE WHITE HORSE KNEW. THE WHITE HORSE KNEW.

CHARLENE'S AND MY LOVE WILL NEVER DIE.

OH, DUD!

LOOK AWAY, BOYS. LOOK AWAY.

OH, WAS THAT EVER EXTRA GOOD, EXTRA GOOD.

DON'T THAT MAKE YOU FEEL GOOD?

OH, IT DOES. IT DOES.

YOU KNOW, SHERIFF, I'M KIND OF SORRY

IT DIDN'T WORK OUT BETWIXT YOU AND, UH...

-I KIND OF LIKE YOU. YEAH.

LET'S JUST BE HAPPY FOR THE YOUNG'UNS.

LET'S DO ANOTHER ONE FOR THEM.

ALL RIGHT. HOW ABOUT "BOIL THEM CABBAGE DOWN"?

OH, NO, PA, THAT ONE MAKES ME CRY.

JUST TRY TO CONTROL YOURSELF.

ALL RIGHT, BOYS. A-ONE, TWO, AND A-ONE.

* BOIL THEM CABBAGE DOWN, BAKE THEM BISCUITS BROWN *

* THE ONLY SONG THAT I CAN SING IS "BOIL THEM CABBAGE DOWN" *

* GRANDMA HAD A MULEY COW, MULEY SINCE SHE'S BORN *

* TOOK A JAY BIRD 40 YEARS TO FLY FROM HORN TO HORN, WELL *

* BOIL THEM CABBAGE DOWN, BAKE THEM BISCUITS BROWN *

* THE ONLY SONG THAT I CAN SING IS "BOIL THEM CABBAGE DOWN" *

* I LOVE HIM IN THE SUMMERTIME, I LOVE HIM IN THE FALL *

* IF I CAN'T HAVE MY OWN TRUE LOVE, WON'T HAVE NONE AT ALL *

* YOU UNDERSTAND MY OWN TRUE LOVE, RECKON HOW I KNOW *

* BOTH HER EYES DO SHINE FOR ME CLEAR AS MORNING GLOW *

YAHOO!

* YES, BOIL THEM CABBAGE DOWN, BAKE THEM BISCUITS BROWN *

* THE ONLY SONG THAT I CAN SING IS "BOIL THEM CABBAGE DOWN" *