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1
00:00:09,843 --> 00:00:13,147
STARRING ANDY GRIFFITH...
2
00:00:13,181 --> 00:00:15,516
WITH RONNY HOWARD...
3
00:00:15,549 --> 00:00:18,386
ALSO STARRING DON KNOTTS.
4
00:00:25,193 --> 00:00:26,294
UH-OH.
5
00:00:26,327 --> 00:00:28,629
WHAT'S THE MATTER?
6
00:00:28,662 --> 00:00:32,300
AIN'T CHICKEN
SPELLED "I
7
00:00:32,333 --> 00:00:34,535
NO, HE'S GOT IT RIGHT.
8
00:00:34,568 --> 00:00:36,137
YOU SURE?
9
00:00:36,170 --> 00:00:38,139
UH-HUH.
10
00:00:38,172 --> 00:00:40,741
"I" BEFORE "E"
EXCEPT AFTER "C"
11
00:00:40,774 --> 00:00:43,277
AND "E" BEFORE "N"
IN "CHICKEN."
12
00:00:44,612 --> 00:00:45,713
YEAH.
13
00:00:45,746 --> 00:00:48,349
I ALWAYS
FORGET THAT RULE.
14
00:00:49,883 --> 00:00:51,419
CAN'T YOU SEE
A MAN'S DOIN'
15
00:00:51,452 --> 00:00:53,554
A DELICATE PIECE
OF ARTISTIC WORK HERE?
16
00:00:53,587 --> 00:00:54,588
GO AROUND IN BACK.
17
00:00:59,727 --> 00:01:02,163
I BELIEVE THAT'S
BRISCOE DARLING'S TRUCK.
18
00:01:02,196 --> 00:01:03,331
Barney:
HUH?
19
00:01:03,364 --> 00:01:04,432
BRISCOE DARLING.
20
00:01:04,465 --> 00:01:05,533
COME ON.
21
00:01:05,566 --> 00:01:08,236
MAN AT WORK HERE!
MAN AT WORK.
22
00:01:16,877 --> 00:01:18,446
HOWDY, MR. DARLING.
23
00:01:18,479 --> 00:01:20,314
WHAT IN THE WORLD
BRINGS YOU DOWN
24
00:01:20,348 --> 00:01:21,549
OUT OF THE MOUNTAINS?
25
00:01:21,582 --> 00:01:23,217
TROUBLE, SHERIFF.
26
00:01:23,251 --> 00:01:24,618
WE GOT, UH...
27
00:01:24,652 --> 00:01:27,388
IS IT ALL RIGHT
TO TALK IN FRONT OF HIM?
28
00:01:27,421 --> 00:01:28,556
OH, SURE.
29
00:01:28,589 --> 00:01:30,258
THIS IS MY DEPUTY,
BARNEY FIFE.
30
00:01:30,291 --> 00:01:31,292
BRISCOE DARLING.
31
00:01:31,325 --> 00:01:32,426
HOWDY.
32
00:01:32,460 --> 00:01:33,894
I MARRIED
MR. DARLING'S
DAUGHTER
33
00:01:33,927 --> 00:01:34,895
TO DUD WASH.
34
00:01:34,928 --> 00:01:35,896
YOU DID?
35
00:01:35,929 --> 00:01:37,265
OH, YEAH,
THAT'S RIGHT.
36
00:01:37,298 --> 00:01:38,799
IT WAS WHEN
YOU AND YOUR MOTHER
37
00:01:38,832 --> 00:01:40,701
WAS ON THAT BUS
TRIP TO CHARLOTTE.
38
00:01:40,734 --> 00:01:41,835
SAY YOU
GOT TROUBLE?
39
00:01:41,869 --> 00:01:43,204
IT'S A SIGHT.
40
00:01:43,237 --> 00:01:44,838
WELL, WHAT IN THE
WORLD'S THE MATTER?
41
00:01:44,872 --> 00:01:48,642
WELL, THERE'S THIS FELLA
UP HOME -- ERNEST T. BASS.
42
00:01:48,676 --> 00:01:52,446
HE JUST DON'T TAKE TO DUD
AND CHARLENE BEIN' MARRIED.
43
00:01:52,480 --> 00:01:54,215
WELL, IT WAS ALL LEGAL.
44
00:01:54,248 --> 00:01:56,750
I GAVE YOU A COPY
OF THE MARRIAGE CERTIFICATE
45
00:01:56,784 --> 00:01:58,152
AND KEPT A COPY HERE.
46
00:01:58,186 --> 00:01:59,587
I KNOW THAT.
47
00:01:59,620 --> 00:02:02,856
BUT THAT DON'T SIGNIFY
WITH ERNEST T. BASS.
48
00:02:02,890 --> 00:02:07,395
HE KEEPS BOTHERIN' CHARLENE,
YELLIN' IN THE NIGHT,
49
00:02:07,428 --> 00:02:09,330
THROWIN' ROCKS
THROUGH THE WINDOWS.
50
00:02:09,363 --> 00:02:11,465
CAN'T YOU
AND YOUR BOYS HANDLE HIM?
51
00:02:11,499 --> 00:02:14,202
WELL, WE THOUGHT
ABOUT KILLIN' HIM.
52
00:02:14,235 --> 00:02:16,136
KINDA HATED TO GO THAT FAR.
53
00:02:17,671 --> 00:02:19,173
WELL, UH,
IT'S A WISE MAN
54
00:02:19,207 --> 00:02:20,441
THAT KNOWS
IT'S ILLEGAL
55
00:02:20,474 --> 00:02:22,510
TO TAKE THE LAW
INTO ONE'S OWN HANDS.
56
00:02:22,543 --> 00:02:25,246
IS HE ARGUIN' WITH ME?
57
00:02:26,380 --> 00:02:27,915
NO, HE'S
AGREEIN' WITH YOU.
58
00:02:27,948 --> 00:02:31,885
JUST SO'S I KNOW WHERE I STAND.
59
00:02:31,919 --> 00:02:34,255
DO YOU S'POSE YOU COULD
FIND THE TIME
60
00:02:34,288 --> 00:02:35,389
TO COME ON UP THERE
61
00:02:35,423 --> 00:02:37,458
AND STRAIGHTEN
THIS THING OUT FOR US?
62
00:02:37,491 --> 00:02:38,659
WELL, SURE.
63
00:02:38,692 --> 00:02:40,428
WE'LL COME UP
THERE TOMORROW.
64
00:02:40,461 --> 00:02:41,462
GOOD.
65
00:02:43,664 --> 00:02:45,566
OH, UH...
66
00:02:45,599 --> 00:02:47,568
YOU BETTER TRAVEL
BY DAYLIGHT.
67
00:02:47,601 --> 00:02:49,203
IT GETS KIND OF ROUGH
68
00:02:49,237 --> 00:02:52,306
AFTER YOU CROSS
THE ROBERT E. LEE
NATURAL BRIDGE.
69
00:02:52,340 --> 00:02:53,574
WE'LL GET A EARLY START.
70
00:02:53,607 --> 00:02:55,243
I WON'T EVEN
GO HOME TONIGHT.
71
00:02:55,276 --> 00:02:56,410
I'LL SLEEP
RIGHT HERE.
72
00:02:56,444 --> 00:02:57,911
I'LL EXPECT
YOU TOMORROW.
73
00:02:57,945 --> 00:02:58,912
WE'LL SEE YOU.
74
00:02:58,946 --> 00:03:01,315
ADIOS, AMIGO.
75
00:03:01,349 --> 00:03:02,850
HE ONE O' OURS?
76
00:03:02,883 --> 00:03:05,253
SURE.
77
00:03:05,286 --> 00:03:07,221
MORE POWER TO YOU.
78
00:03:08,256 --> 00:03:09,423
I'LL SEE YOU.
79
00:03:11,459 --> 00:03:13,994
ROBERT E. LEE
NATURAL BRIDGE?
80
00:03:14,027 --> 00:03:16,730
I DON'T BELIEVE I
EVER HEARD OF THAT.
81
00:03:16,764 --> 00:03:18,299
IT'S A OAK TREE
82
00:03:18,332 --> 00:03:20,601
THAT FELL ACROSS
THE SHALLOW SPOT
IN THE CREEK.
83
00:03:32,813 --> 00:03:34,248
BARNEY.
84
00:03:38,286 --> 00:03:39,987
BARNEY!
85
00:03:42,456 --> 00:03:44,792
UH...
86
00:04:04,578 --> 00:04:05,613
BARNEY.
87
00:04:05,646 --> 00:04:07,448
IT'S 4:00 IN THE MORNING.
88
00:04:07,481 --> 00:04:08,949
YEAH.
89
00:04:08,982 --> 00:04:10,418
COME ON, BARNEY.
90
00:04:10,451 --> 00:04:11,885
WE GOT A LONG DRIVE
AHEAD OF US.
91
00:04:11,919 --> 00:04:13,687
UP YOU GO.
92
00:04:13,721 --> 00:04:16,924
FOR HEAVEN'S SAKES,
BARNEY, WILL YOU WAKE UP?
93
00:04:16,957 --> 00:04:18,326
YEAH, I'M AWAKE.
94
00:04:24,097 --> 00:04:26,567
BARNEY.
95
00:04:26,600 --> 00:04:28,035
BARNEY!
96
00:04:28,068 --> 00:04:29,737
BARNEY.
97
00:04:29,770 --> 00:04:31,472
BARNEY, LISTEN.
98
00:04:31,505 --> 00:04:32,673
BARNEY?
HUH?
99
00:04:32,706 --> 00:04:33,674
BARNEY?
100
00:04:33,707 --> 00:04:34,675
HUH?
101
00:04:34,708 --> 00:04:36,009
WILL YOU LISTEN TO ME?
102
00:04:36,043 --> 00:04:37,578
IT'S 4:00 IN THE MORNING.
103
00:04:37,611 --> 00:04:39,913
WE GOT TO GET GOING
UP IN THE MOUNTAINS.
104
00:04:46,754 --> 00:04:49,923
BOY, YOU SURE ARE
A HARD ONE TO WAKE UP.
105
00:04:49,957 --> 00:04:51,825
WILL YOU WAKE UP?!
106
00:04:51,859 --> 00:04:53,327
I'M AWAKE.
107
00:04:53,361 --> 00:04:55,295
OKAY.
108
00:04:58,832 --> 00:05:00,701
WAKE UP!
109
00:05:19,687 --> 00:05:21,822
HI, ANDY.
GOT A LITTLE TRIP?
110
00:05:21,855 --> 00:05:23,457
ARE YOU AWAKE?
111
00:05:23,491 --> 00:05:26,326
YEAH, ALL YOU GOT TO DO IS
AND I'M UP.
112
00:05:48,982 --> 00:05:51,452
IT OUGHT TO BE CLOSE
BY HERE SOMEWHERE.
113
00:05:53,921 --> 00:05:55,823
LISTEN.
114
00:05:57,090 --> 00:05:58,992
SOUNDS LIKE
THAT ONE UP THERE.
115
00:06:00,694 --> 00:06:02,663
COME ON.
116
00:06:57,117 --> 00:06:58,952
GOOD!
EXTRA GOOD!
117
00:06:58,986 --> 00:07:01,221
MR. DARLING,
BOYS, GOOD!
118
00:07:01,254 --> 00:07:02,556
HOWDY, SHERIFF.
119
00:07:02,590 --> 00:07:03,824
GLAD TO SEE
YOU MADE IT.
120
00:07:03,857 --> 00:07:05,092
OH, SURE--
HOWDY, CHARLENE.
121
00:07:05,125 --> 00:07:06,093
HI.
122
00:07:06,126 --> 00:07:07,427
HOWDY, BOYS.
123
00:07:09,630 --> 00:07:11,732
BOYS ARE TALKATIVE TODAY.
124
00:07:11,765 --> 00:07:14,468
THEY ALL KEYED UP.
125
00:07:14,502 --> 00:07:16,036
I DON'T BELIEVE
Y'ALL EVER MET
126
00:07:16,069 --> 00:07:17,471
MY DEPUTY,
BARNEY FIFE.
127
00:07:17,505 --> 00:07:20,007
CHARLENE DARLING,
NOW MRS. DUD WASH.
128
00:07:20,040 --> 00:07:21,108
HOWDY, MA'AM.
129
00:07:21,141 --> 00:07:22,142
AND THE BOYS...
130
00:07:22,175 --> 00:07:23,777
Barney:
BOYS.
131
00:07:23,811 --> 00:07:26,680
WELL, MR. DARLING,
WHAT DO YOU THINK WE OUGHT TO...
132
00:07:26,714 --> 00:07:27,781
WELL,
HOWDY, DUD!
133
00:07:27,815 --> 00:07:28,916
HOWDY, SHERIFF.
134
00:07:28,949 --> 00:07:30,618
MY DEPUTY,
BARNEY FIFE,
DUD WASH.
135
00:07:30,651 --> 00:07:32,019
SURE PROUD YOU
COULD SEE FIT
136
00:07:32,052 --> 00:07:33,153
TO INTERVENE,
SHERIFF.
137
00:07:33,186 --> 00:07:35,122
OH, IT'S
A PLEASURE, DUD.
138
00:07:35,155 --> 00:07:37,190
THERE'S MY DARLIN' PERSON.
139
00:07:38,526 --> 00:07:39,627
DUD, DON'T!
140
00:07:39,660 --> 00:07:40,894
AW, COME ON.
141
00:07:40,928 --> 00:07:42,162
Briscoe:
DUD!
142
00:07:42,195 --> 00:07:45,499
WE GOT MORE IMPORTANT
THINGS TO TEND TO.
143
00:07:45,533 --> 00:07:47,801
TRY TO CURB THEM HOT FLASHES.
144
00:07:48,869 --> 00:07:50,203
DID YOU TELL
ERNEST T. BASS
145
00:07:50,237 --> 00:07:52,540
THE SHERIFF WAS
LOOKIN' FOR HIM?
146
00:07:52,573 --> 00:07:54,675
WELL, I COULDN'T
FIND HIM, MR. DARLING.
147
00:07:54,708 --> 00:07:56,944
HIS COUSIN SAID HE
WENT OFF INTO THE WOODS
148
00:07:56,977 --> 00:07:58,111
TO KILL A MOCKINGBIRD.
149
00:07:58,145 --> 00:08:01,615
DON'T SOUND LIKE
A VERY NICE PERSON.
150
00:08:01,649 --> 00:08:03,083
ONE OF THE WORST WE GOT.
151
00:08:03,116 --> 00:08:05,185
MAYBE WE OUGHT
TO LOOK FOR HIM.
152
00:08:05,218 --> 00:08:06,587
OH, HE'S A PESTILENCE
153
00:08:06,620 --> 00:08:08,188
AND THE PESTILENCE'LL
FIND YOU.
154
00:08:08,221 --> 00:08:10,023
YOU JUST WAIT --
HE'LL BE ALONG.
155
00:08:10,057 --> 00:08:11,559
HEY, HOW ABOUT
IF I FIX YOU
156
00:08:11,592 --> 00:08:13,293
AND YOUR GUN HAND
A MOUTHFUL TO EAT?
157
00:08:13,326 --> 00:08:14,662
UH, WELL...
158
00:08:14,695 --> 00:08:15,929
Charlene:
I COULD HEAT UP
159
00:08:15,963 --> 00:08:18,298
SOME NICE
HOGBACK BONE
160
00:08:18,331 --> 00:08:19,833
OR SOME
FISH MUDDLE.
161
00:08:19,867 --> 00:08:20,934
UH, NO, THA...
162
00:08:20,968 --> 00:08:23,203
I DON'T BELIEVE
WE'LL HAVE SOME.
163
00:08:23,236 --> 00:08:26,106
WELL, YOU'LL PROBABLY BE A WHILE
164
00:08:26,139 --> 00:08:29,109
BEFORE ERNEST T. BASS
COMES ALONG.
165
00:08:29,142 --> 00:08:31,579
YOU BRING YOUR STRINGIN'
INSTRUMENT, SHERIFF?
166
00:08:31,612 --> 00:08:34,047
OH, I DIDN'T
THINK WE'D HAVE
TIME FOR ANY MUSIC.
167
00:08:34,081 --> 00:08:37,951
GOT TIME TO BREATHE,
YOU GOT TIME FOR MUSIC.
168
00:08:37,985 --> 00:08:39,987
HOW MANY STRANGS YOU USED TO?
169
00:08:40,020 --> 00:08:41,789
THERE ARE SIX
ON MY GUITAR.
170
00:08:41,822 --> 00:08:44,191
WELL, HERE'S
ONE WITH FIVE.
171
00:08:44,224 --> 00:08:47,327
JUST KINDA LET
THAT THUMB HANG FREE
172
00:08:47,360 --> 00:08:49,196
AND ENJOY THE MUSIC.
173
00:08:49,229 --> 00:08:50,764
HOW ABOUT PLAYIN'
174
00:08:50,798 --> 00:08:53,266
"NEVER HIT YOUR GRANDMA
WITH A GREAT, BIG STICK?"
175
00:08:53,300 --> 00:08:54,868
NO, DUD,
THAT MAKES ME CRY.
176
00:08:54,902 --> 00:08:56,236
WELL, HOW
ABOUT "DOOLEY"?
177
00:08:56,269 --> 00:08:58,138
OH, THAT'S A GOOD'UN.
178
00:08:58,171 --> 00:09:00,073
A ONE, A TWO AND AWAY WE GO.
179
00:09:09,382 --> 00:09:11,652
* NOW, DOOLEY WAS
A GOOD OLD MAN *
180
00:09:11,685 --> 00:09:13,721
* HE LIVED
BELOW THE MILL *
181
00:09:13,754 --> 00:09:15,055
* DOOLEY HAD
TWO DAUGHTERS *
182
00:09:15,088 --> 00:09:16,857
* AND A 40-GALLON STILL
183
00:09:16,890 --> 00:09:20,594
* ONE GAL WATCHED THE BOILER,
THE OTHER WATCHED THE SPOUT *
184
00:09:20,628 --> 00:09:22,095
* AND MAMA CORKED THE BOTTLES
185
00:09:22,129 --> 00:09:23,931
* WHEN OLD DOOLEY
FETCHED THEM OUT *
186
00:09:23,964 --> 00:09:25,999
* DOOLEY, SLIPPIN'
UP THE HOLLER *
187
00:09:26,033 --> 00:09:28,101
* DOOLEY, TRYIN'
TO MAKE A DOLLAR *
188
00:09:28,135 --> 00:09:30,003
* DOOLEY, GIVE
ME A SWALLER *
189
00:09:30,037 --> 00:09:31,939
* AND I'LL PAY
YOU BACK SOMEDAY *
190
00:09:31,972 --> 00:09:36,043
* THE REVENUERS CAME FOR HIM,
A-SLIPPIN' THROUGH THE WOODS *
191
00:09:36,076 --> 00:09:39,613
* DOOLEY KEPT BEHIND THEM ALL
AND NEVER LOST HIS GOODS *
192
00:09:39,647 --> 00:09:43,183
* NOW, DOOLEY WAS A TRADER
WHEN INTO TOWN HE'D COME *
193
00:09:43,216 --> 00:09:46,887
* SUGAR BY THE BUSHEL
AND MOLASSES BY THE DRUM *
194
00:09:46,920 --> 00:09:50,357
* NOW, I REMEMBER VERY WELL
THE DAY OLD DOOLEY DIED *
195
00:09:50,390 --> 00:09:51,892
* THE WOMENFOLK LOOKED SORRY
196
00:09:51,925 --> 00:09:54,061
* AND THE MEN
STOOD AROUND AND CRIED *
197
00:09:54,094 --> 00:09:57,765
* NOW DOOLEY'S ON THE MOUNTAIN,
HE LIES THERE ALL ALONE *
198
00:09:57,798 --> 00:10:01,301
* THEY PUT A JUG BESIDE HIM
AND A BARREL FOR A STONE *
199
00:10:01,334 --> 00:10:03,370
* DOOLEY,
SLIPPIN' UP THE HOLLER *
200
00:10:03,403 --> 00:10:06,039
* DOOLEY,
TRYIN' TO MAKE A DOLLAR *
201
00:10:06,073 --> 00:10:07,808
* DOOLEY,
GIVE ME A SWALLER *
202
00:10:07,841 --> 00:10:09,910
* AND I'LL PAY
YOU BACK SOME DAY *
203
00:10:09,943 --> 00:10:13,113
* AND I'LL PAY
YOU BACK SOME DAY *
204
00:10:13,146 --> 00:10:14,114
GOOD!
205
00:10:14,147 --> 00:10:15,115
EXTRA GOOD!
206
00:10:15,148 --> 00:10:16,616
I BELIEVE
THE BOYS...
207
00:10:17,384 --> 00:10:18,886
WHAT'S THAT?
208
00:10:18,919 --> 00:10:21,889
THAT'S HIM --
ERNEST T. BASS.
209
00:10:23,724 --> 00:10:25,893
YOU BETTER WATCH OUT,
ERNEST T. BASS!
210
00:10:25,926 --> 00:10:27,661
WE GOT THE LAW IN HERE NOW!
211
00:10:31,699 --> 00:10:36,403
"CHARLENE, I STILL
LOVE YOU AND WANT YOU.
212
00:10:36,436 --> 00:10:39,372
ERNEST T. BASS."
213
00:10:39,406 --> 00:10:41,675
I'M GONNA GO HAVE
A TALK WITH HIM.
214
00:10:54,354 --> 00:10:56,690
I DON'T SEE HIM.
215
00:10:56,724 --> 00:10:57,858
THERE HE IS.
216
00:11:09,102 --> 00:11:11,038
ERNEST T. BASS,
YOU COME OUT OF THERE.
217
00:11:11,071 --> 00:11:12,840
THE SHERIFF WANTS
TO TALK TO YOU.
218
00:11:12,873 --> 00:11:14,775
Ernest:
I CAN HEAR HIM
FROM HERE.
219
00:11:14,808 --> 00:11:17,444
YOU BETTER DO AS
YOU'RE TOLD, FELLA.
220
00:11:17,477 --> 00:11:19,279
Barney:
THIS IS THE
LAW SPEAKIN'!
221
00:11:24,952 --> 00:11:26,987
Ernest:
JUST LEAVE THE GUN
BE, MISTER.
222
00:11:32,760 --> 00:11:35,195
NOW, LOOK HERE, MR. BASS.
223
00:11:35,228 --> 00:11:37,731
I'M THE JUSTICE
OF THE PEACE IN MAYBERRY,
224
00:11:37,765 --> 00:11:39,399
AND I MARRIED
CHARLENE AND DUD,
225
00:11:39,432 --> 00:11:42,770
AND I GOT A COPY
OF THE MARRIAGE
CERTIFICATE HERE.
226
00:11:42,803 --> 00:11:44,104
YOU A PREACHER?
227
00:11:44,137 --> 00:11:45,138
Andy:
NO.
228
00:11:45,172 --> 00:11:47,007
THEN THEY AIN'T RIGHTLY MARRIED.
229
00:11:47,040 --> 00:11:48,508
I OUGHT TO HAVE A CHANCE
230
00:11:48,541 --> 00:11:51,344
TO SWEET-TALK AND WOO
AND CHARM HER WITH MY WAYS.
231
00:11:51,378 --> 00:11:53,180
TAKE A SHOT AT HIM, SHERIFF.
232
00:11:53,213 --> 00:11:55,082
YOU GOT A LEGAL RIGHT.
233
00:11:55,115 --> 00:11:56,884
NOW, WAIT A MINUTE,
MR. DARLING.
234
00:11:56,917 --> 00:11:57,918
WE CAN HANDLE THIS
235
00:11:57,951 --> 00:11:59,452
WITHOUT ANYBODY
GETTIN' HURT.
236
00:11:59,486 --> 00:12:00,487
ERNEST T.?
237
00:12:00,520 --> 00:12:01,989
I HEAR YOU.
238
00:12:02,022 --> 00:12:03,757
Andy:
HERE'S WHAT
WE'RE GONNA DO.
239
00:12:03,791 --> 00:12:06,393
WE'RE GONNA GET
CHARLENE AND DUD MARRIED
240
00:12:06,426 --> 00:12:07,761
BY A PREACHER.
241
00:12:07,795 --> 00:12:09,129
TOMORROW BEIN' SUNDAY,
242
00:12:09,162 --> 00:12:11,131
THE CIRCUIT
PREACHER'LL BE BY.
243
00:12:11,164 --> 00:12:12,232
GOOD.
244
00:12:12,265 --> 00:12:14,001
WE'LL HAVE THEM
MARRIED TOMORROW.
245
00:12:14,034 --> 00:12:15,302
TOMORROW?
246
00:12:15,335 --> 00:12:18,271
HEY, THAT GIVES ME 24 HOURS
TO COURT HER.
247
00:12:18,305 --> 00:12:19,506
NOW, YOU JUST HOLD ON.
248
00:12:19,539 --> 00:12:20,841
24 HOURS!
249
00:12:20,874 --> 00:12:23,210
I STILL
GOT A CHANCE!
250
00:12:28,315 --> 00:12:29,850
YIPPEE!
251
00:12:44,364 --> 00:12:46,066
IF YOU
WERE TO ASK ME,
252
00:12:46,099 --> 00:12:49,402
THIS ERNEST T. BASS
IS A STRANGE AND
WEIRD CHARACTER.
253
00:12:49,436 --> 00:12:53,040
JUST PLAIN ORNERY
IS WHAT HE IS.
254
00:12:53,073 --> 00:12:55,909
I THINK HE'S A NUT!
255
00:13:45,592 --> 00:13:47,160
Hey, Andy!
256
00:13:47,194 --> 00:13:49,329
HMM?
257
00:13:49,362 --> 00:13:51,398
Are you asleep?
258
00:13:51,431 --> 00:13:53,066
ARE YOU KIDDING?
259
00:13:53,100 --> 00:13:56,603
Did you ever hear anything
like it in your life?
260
00:13:58,505 --> 00:14:01,008
BECAUSE THEY'RE ALL SLEEPING
ON THEIR BACKS.
261
00:14:01,041 --> 00:14:04,444
SUPPOSE IF WE TURN THEM OVER
ON THEIR SIDES IT'D HELP?
262
00:14:04,477 --> 00:14:07,547
IT'S WORTH A TRY.
263
00:14:14,121 --> 00:14:16,256
COME ON, COME ON.
264
00:14:16,289 --> 00:14:17,324
GET ON OVER.
265
00:14:17,357 --> 00:14:18,458
COME ON.
266
00:14:23,931 --> 00:14:25,198
OKAY.
267
00:14:34,474 --> 00:14:36,443
WHAT DO YOU KNOW --
IT WORKED!
268
00:14:36,476 --> 00:14:38,378
MMM.
269
00:14:38,411 --> 00:14:39,512
NIGHT.
270
00:14:39,546 --> 00:14:41,648
GOOD NIGHT.
271
00:15:13,180 --> 00:15:15,949
Barney:
WHAT WAS THAT?
272
00:15:15,983 --> 00:15:19,252
ERNEST T. BASS IS PAYING US
ANOTHER VISIT LOOKS LIKE.
273
00:15:27,660 --> 00:15:29,362
ERNEST T. BASS!
274
00:15:29,396 --> 00:15:31,364
Ernest: IN PERSON.
275
00:15:31,398 --> 00:15:35,002
YOU'RE A LOWDOWN,
PESKY BUZZARD.
276
00:15:35,035 --> 00:15:36,536
DOGGONE YOU!
277
00:15:36,569 --> 00:15:39,106
STICKS AND STONES
WILL BREAK MY BONES,
278
00:15:39,139 --> 00:15:41,308
BUT NAMES CAN'T
NEVER TOUCH ME.
279
00:15:41,341 --> 00:15:42,675
ERNEST T. BASS,
280
00:15:42,709 --> 00:15:45,578
YOU BETTER QUIT THROWING
ROCKS THROUGH THIS WINDOW.
281
00:15:45,612 --> 00:15:47,447
NOW, THIS IS
THE SHERIFF TALKING.
282
00:15:47,480 --> 00:15:50,650
I'M GOING TO HAVE TO ARREST YOU
IF YOU DON'T GO ON HOME.
283
00:15:50,683 --> 00:15:53,686
YOU'RE DISTURBING THE PEACE
KEEPING THESE FOLKS AWAKE.
284
00:15:53,720 --> 00:15:55,755
WELL, TELL THEM
ALL TO GO TO SLEEP.
285
00:15:55,788 --> 00:15:57,724
JUST CHARLENE
I WANTS TO TALK TO.
286
00:15:59,292 --> 00:16:01,661
YOU LISTEN TO ME
OUT THERE!
287
00:16:01,694 --> 00:16:04,131
THIS IS DEPUTY FIFE
SPEAKING AND I'M ARMED.
288
00:16:04,164 --> 00:16:05,598
NOW, IF YOU DON'T GO AWAY,
289
00:16:05,632 --> 00:16:08,101
I'M JUST LIABLE TO TAKE
A SHOT OUT THIS WINDOW.
290
00:16:11,071 --> 00:16:12,739
YOU CUT THAT OUT!
291
00:16:14,441 --> 00:16:16,543
BETTER STOP
THAT DEPUTY OF YOURS.
292
00:16:16,576 --> 00:16:18,311
HE'LL GET US STONED TO DEATH.
293
00:16:20,713 --> 00:16:22,549
WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO?
294
00:16:22,582 --> 00:16:24,184
ONLY ONE THING TO DO.
295
00:16:24,217 --> 00:16:28,455
LET HIM SPEAK HIS PIECE
AND MAYBE HE'LL GO ON HOME.
296
00:16:28,488 --> 00:16:29,689
ERNEST T.?
297
00:16:29,722 --> 00:16:31,191
Ernest:
I'M STILL HERE.
298
00:16:31,224 --> 00:16:32,392
LISTEN A MINUTE!
299
00:16:32,425 --> 00:16:34,094
KEEP ON TALKING.
300
00:16:34,127 --> 00:16:35,362
WHAT DO YOU GOT IN MIND?
301
00:16:35,395 --> 00:16:36,596
I TOLD YOU.
302
00:16:36,629 --> 00:16:39,399
I'VE COME TO PLIGHT
MY TROTH TO CHARLENE.
303
00:16:39,432 --> 00:16:41,034
Dud:
SHE'S BEEN PLIGHTED!
304
00:16:41,068 --> 00:16:43,570
CHARLENE, COME OVER HERE
AND LET HIM TALK TO YOU.
305
00:16:43,603 --> 00:16:44,771
Dud:
NOW, WAIT A MINUTE.
306
00:16:44,804 --> 00:16:46,339
LET HIM TALK TO HER.
307
00:16:46,373 --> 00:16:48,241
MAYBE HE'LL GET IT
OUT OF HIS SYSTEM
308
00:16:48,275 --> 00:16:50,477
AND GO ON HOME AND
WE CAN GET SOME SLEEP.
309
00:16:50,510 --> 00:16:52,245
GO ON, CHARLENE.
310
00:16:53,346 --> 00:16:54,314
I'M HERE.
311
00:16:54,347 --> 00:16:55,615
WHAT DO YOU WANT?
312
00:16:55,648 --> 00:16:57,450
CHARLENE, THIS HERE IS
313
00:16:57,484 --> 00:16:59,119
ERNEST T. BASS HERE.
314
00:16:59,152 --> 00:17:00,487
I'M DECLARING
FOR YOU.
315
00:17:00,520 --> 00:17:02,355
YEAH?
316
00:17:02,389 --> 00:17:06,059
CHARLENE? LOOK OUT HERE.
317
00:17:06,093 --> 00:17:08,328
CAN YOU SEE ME?
318
00:17:11,264 --> 00:17:12,232
I SEE YOU.
319
00:17:12,265 --> 00:17:15,102
GOOD!
320
00:17:15,135 --> 00:17:18,405
CHARLENE, YOU AIN'T NEVER GIVE
ME A CHANCE TO COURT YOU PROPER
321
00:17:18,438 --> 00:17:20,640
TO PROVE TO YOU
THAT I'M THE MAN FOR YOU.
322
00:17:20,673 --> 00:17:24,211
FIRST OFF,
I WANTS TO SERENADE YOU.
323
00:17:27,480 --> 00:17:30,117
OKAY, ERNEST T.,
SERENADE AWAY.
324
00:17:30,150 --> 00:17:33,653
ALL RIGHT, LISTEN.
325
00:17:44,764 --> 00:17:47,200
* "OLD LEG" BRIAR
JUMP IN THE FIRE *
326
00:17:47,234 --> 00:17:49,202
* FIRE TOO HOT,
JUMP IN THE POT *
327
00:17:49,236 --> 00:17:50,703
* POT TOO BLACK --
JUMP IN THE CRACK *
328
00:17:50,737 --> 00:17:52,672
* CRACK TOO HIGH --
JUMP IN THE SKY *
329
00:17:52,705 --> 00:17:54,474
* SKY TOO BLUE --
JUMP IN CANOE *
330
00:17:54,507 --> 00:17:56,743
* CANOE TOO SHALLOW --
JUMP IN THE TALLOW *
331
00:17:56,776 --> 00:17:58,745
* TALLOW TOO SOFT --
JUMP IN THE LOFT *
332
00:17:58,778 --> 00:18:00,880
* LOFT TOO ROTTEN --
JUMP IN THE COTTON *
333
00:18:00,913 --> 00:18:03,450
* COTTON SO WHITE
SHE STAYED THERE ALL NIGHT *
334
00:18:07,220 --> 00:18:09,256
TELL HIM
IT WAS GOOD.
335
00:18:09,289 --> 00:18:11,258
THAT'S GOOD, ERNEST T.
336
00:18:11,291 --> 00:18:14,127
NOW YOU WANT TO HEAR ME SING
"EATING GOOBER PEAS"?
337
00:18:16,396 --> 00:18:17,897
NO, THANKS. GOOD NIGHT.
338
00:18:17,930 --> 00:18:19,299
WAIT A MINUTE.
339
00:18:19,332 --> 00:18:20,800
LOOKEE HERE.
340
00:18:23,203 --> 00:18:25,138
I CAN DO 18 CHIN-UPS.
341
00:18:25,172 --> 00:18:27,274
THAT'S GOOD.
GOOD NIGHT.
342
00:18:27,307 --> 00:18:29,242
I CAN DO CHIN-UPS.
343
00:18:29,276 --> 00:18:31,478
I'M THE BEST ROCK THROWER
IN THE COUNTY,
344
00:18:31,511 --> 00:18:33,580
AND I'M SAVING UP
FOR A GOLD TOOTH.
345
00:18:33,613 --> 00:18:36,283
I'M THE MAN FOR YOU,
CHARLENE, YOU KNOW IT.
346
00:18:36,316 --> 00:18:39,452
NOW CAN I COME OVER THERE
AND KISS YOU ON THE JAW?
347
00:18:39,486 --> 00:18:41,488
NO, YOU CAN'T,
ERNEST T. BASS!
348
00:18:41,521 --> 00:18:43,656
THIS HERE IS
MY PLIGHTED BRIDE.
349
00:18:43,690 --> 00:18:44,857
AND TOMORROW
WE'RE HAVING
350
00:18:44,891 --> 00:18:47,160
A PREACHER WEDDING
JUST TO SATISFY YOU.
351
00:18:47,194 --> 00:18:48,495
NOW, GO ON HOME!
352
00:18:48,528 --> 00:18:50,830
YOU JUST THINK YOU'RE
HAVING A WEDDING.
353
00:18:50,863 --> 00:18:51,831
MAYBE YOU AIN'T.
354
00:18:51,864 --> 00:18:53,433
WHAT'D YOU SAY?
355
00:18:53,466 --> 00:18:55,535
I DON'T CHEW MY CABBAGE TWICE.
356
00:18:55,568 --> 00:18:58,705
AND YOU AIN'T HEARD THE LAST
OF ERNEST T. BASS.
357
00:18:58,738 --> 00:19:01,308
EVERYBODY DUCK.
358
00:19:04,444 --> 00:19:08,615
WELL, I GUESS WE CAN ALL
GET SOME SLEEP NOW.
359
00:19:14,621 --> 00:19:17,190
NOW, JUST A SECOND,
JUST A SECOND.
360
00:19:17,224 --> 00:19:19,326
HOLD STILL,
MR. DARLING!
361
00:19:19,359 --> 00:19:20,760
EVER SINCE
I SAW A HANGING,
362
00:19:20,793 --> 00:19:24,564
I'VE BEEN NERVOUS ABOUT
WEARING ONE OF THESE THINGS.
363
00:19:38,345 --> 00:19:42,415
YOU LOOK JUST
LIKE YOUR MA.
364
00:19:49,589 --> 00:19:51,324
YOU LOOK NICE, CHARLENE.
365
00:19:51,358 --> 00:19:54,261
Andy:
BEAUTIFUL,
CHARLENE.
366
00:19:54,294 --> 00:19:56,729
DON'T SHE
LOOK PRETTY, BOYS?
367
00:19:58,698 --> 00:20:02,802
BOYS AIN'T MUCH
ON COMPLIMENTING.
368
00:20:04,271 --> 00:20:05,638
Andy:
NOT ERNEST T. BASS AGAIN!
369
00:20:05,672 --> 00:20:07,974
Barney:
HE SAID WE AIN'T HEARD
THE LAST OF HIM.
370
00:20:08,007 --> 00:20:10,843
THIS NOTE SAYS, "MAYBE
YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE A PREACHER
371
00:20:10,877 --> 00:20:13,313
"AND MAYBE YOU'RE GOING
TO HAVE A ALTAR
372
00:20:13,346 --> 00:20:15,615
"BUT MAYBE YOU'RE NOT
GOING TO HAVE A BRIDE.
373
00:20:15,648 --> 00:20:16,749
DID YOU EVER THINK OF THAT?"
374
00:20:16,783 --> 00:20:18,251
WHAT'S HE MEAN BY THAT?
375
00:20:18,285 --> 00:20:20,487
ANDY, YOU DON'T THINK
THAT NUT WILL COME HERE
376
00:20:20,520 --> 00:20:22,622
AND TRY TO STEAL
THE BRIDE AWAY, DO YOU?
377
00:20:22,655 --> 00:20:23,856
WOULDN'T PUT IT
PAST HIM.
378
00:20:23,890 --> 00:20:25,258
HE'S AS MEAN
AS A SNAKE.
379
00:20:25,292 --> 00:20:26,326
LET HIM JUST TRY.
380
00:20:26,359 --> 00:20:27,827
I'LL SHOW HIM
A COUPLE OF THINGS
381
00:20:27,860 --> 00:20:28,995
I LEARNED IN THE ARMY.
382
00:20:29,028 --> 00:20:30,463
FIRST YOU TAKE YOUR HAND
383
00:20:30,497 --> 00:20:32,265
AND YOU YANK HIM
ROUND THE THROAT
384
00:20:32,299 --> 00:20:33,833
AND THEN YOU TAKE
THE OTHER HAND
385
00:20:33,866 --> 00:20:34,967
AND YANK ON HIS NOSE.
386
00:20:35,001 --> 00:20:36,336
STOP THAT, BOY.
387
00:20:36,369 --> 00:20:39,606
YOU WANT YOUR FACE
TO FREEZE THATAWAY?
388
00:20:39,639 --> 00:20:41,040
THAT WON'T
BE NECESSARY, DUD.
389
00:20:41,073 --> 00:20:42,909
WELL, I AIN'T GONNA
JUST STAND BY
390
00:20:42,942 --> 00:20:44,644
AND LET ERNEST T. BASS
MAKE OFF
391
00:20:44,677 --> 00:20:45,912
WITH MY
DARLING PERSON.
392
00:20:45,945 --> 00:20:47,514
DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT, DUD.
393
00:20:47,547 --> 00:20:49,616
I GOT A IDEA.
394
00:20:49,649 --> 00:20:51,951
Men :
* WHAT HAVE I TO DREAD
395
00:20:51,984 --> 00:20:53,786
* WHAT HAVE I TO FEAR
396
00:20:53,820 --> 00:20:57,590
* LEANING ON
THE EVERLASTING ARMS? *
397
00:20:57,624 --> 00:21:01,428
* I HAVE BLESSED PEACE
WITH MY LORD SO NEAR *
398
00:21:01,461 --> 00:21:04,931
* LEANING ON
THE EVERLASTING ARMS *
399
00:21:04,964 --> 00:21:08,968
* LEANING... ON THE ARMS,
LEANING ON THE ARMS *
400
00:21:09,001 --> 00:21:12,739
* SAFE AND SECURE
FROM ALL THE HARMS *
401
00:21:12,772 --> 00:21:16,576
* LEANING ON THE ARMS,
LEANING ON THE ARMS *
402
00:21:16,609 --> 00:21:23,616
* LEANING ON
THE EVERLASTING ARMS *
403
00:21:24,884 --> 00:21:28,355
DEARLY BELOVED,
WE ARE GATHERED TOGETHER
404
00:21:28,388 --> 00:21:29,556
IN THIS COMPANY
405
00:21:29,589 --> 00:21:31,691
TO JOIN TOGETHER
THIS MAN AND THIS WOMAN
406
00:21:31,724 --> 00:21:32,692
IN MATRIMONY.
407
00:21:35,428 --> 00:21:36,696
STOP THAT WEDDING!
408
00:21:36,729 --> 00:21:38,898
DON'T
NOBODY MOVE.
409
00:21:38,931 --> 00:21:40,900
HE'S SHOOTING,
HE'S ACTUALLY SHOOTING.
410
00:21:40,933 --> 00:21:42,001
JUST DON'T MOVE.
411
00:21:44,537 --> 00:21:45,605
HE'S SHOOTING AGAIN.
412
00:21:45,638 --> 00:21:46,806
STOP WORRYING.
413
00:21:46,839 --> 00:21:48,708
HE AIN'T GONNA SHOOT
THE WOMAN HE LOVES.
414
00:21:48,741 --> 00:21:50,643
YOU'VE HAD SOME
IDEAS IN YOUR TIME,
415
00:21:50,677 --> 00:21:52,011
BUT THIS ONE'S
THE WORST.
416
00:21:52,044 --> 00:21:53,012
JUST HOLD STILL.
417
00:21:53,045 --> 00:21:55,047
Ernest:
HANDS UP, EVERYBODY.
418
00:21:58,818 --> 00:22:00,653
KEEP 'EM UP...KEEP 'EM UP!
419
00:22:00,687 --> 00:22:02,589
KEEP 'EM UP.
420
00:22:15,167 --> 00:22:17,470
ALL RIGHT, LET'S GO.
421
00:22:17,504 --> 00:22:19,372
CHARLENE, COME ON.
422
00:22:19,406 --> 00:22:21,908
HURRY, REVEREND, BEFORE
ERNEST T. BASS DISCOVERS
423
00:22:21,941 --> 00:22:23,109
WHO HIS BRIDE IS.
424
00:22:23,142 --> 00:22:25,144
DEARLY BELOVED,
WE'RE GATHERED TOGETHER
425
00:22:25,177 --> 00:22:26,779
IN THE FACE
OF THIS COMPANY
426
00:22:26,813 --> 00:22:28,915
TO JOIN TOGETHER
THIS MAN AND THIS WOMAN...
427
00:22:28,948 --> 00:22:30,049
YOU'RE MINE.
428
00:22:30,082 --> 00:22:31,551
YOU WAS MEANT
TO BE MINE.
429
00:22:31,584 --> 00:22:33,386
YOU WI BE MINE.
430
00:22:33,420 --> 00:22:35,955
CHARLENE, I'LL MAKE YOU
A FINE HUSBAND.
431
00:22:35,988 --> 00:22:38,791
I'M A LITTLE MEAN,
BUT I MAKE UP FOR IT
432
00:22:38,825 --> 00:22:40,460
BY BEING REAL HEALTHY.
433
00:22:40,493 --> 00:22:41,828
SAY YOU'LL BE MINE.
434
00:22:41,861 --> 00:22:43,963
SAY YOU'LL BE
MY "BELOVE-DED."
435
00:22:45,932 --> 00:22:49,436
I WOULDN'T MARRY YOU IF YOU
WERE THE LAST MAN ON EARTH.
436
00:22:52,004 --> 00:22:54,674
DO YOU PROMISE TO LOVE,
HONOR, AND OBEY CHARLENE
437
00:22:54,707 --> 00:22:56,409
AS LONG AS YE SHALL
BOTH LIVE?
438
00:22:56,443 --> 00:22:57,677
I DO.
439
00:22:57,710 --> 00:22:59,412
BY THE AUTHORITY
VESTED IN ME,
440
00:22:59,446 --> 00:23:01,113
I NOW PRONOUNCE YOU
MAN AND WIFE.
441
00:23:01,147 --> 00:23:03,450
YOU CAN KISS HER
NOW, DUD.
442
00:23:03,483 --> 00:23:05,552
WELL, IT'S DONE
TO THE SATISFACTION
443
00:23:05,585 --> 00:23:07,487
OF ERNEST T. BASS
AND EVERYBODY.
444
00:23:07,520 --> 00:23:08,721
NICE WEDDING, PREACHER.
445
00:23:08,755 --> 00:23:09,822
THANK YOU.
446
00:23:09,856 --> 00:23:10,923
SURE WAS.
447
00:23:10,957 --> 00:23:12,124
I'M KIND OF WORRIED
448
00:23:12,158 --> 00:23:14,561
ABOUT THAT LITTLE
FELLOW -- YOUR DEPUTY.
449
00:23:14,594 --> 00:23:16,696
YEAH, MAYBE I BETTER
GO LOOK FOR HIM.
450
00:23:16,729 --> 00:23:18,698
Barney: ANDY!
451
00:23:18,731 --> 00:23:20,533
ANDY!
452
00:23:20,567 --> 00:23:22,869
ANDY!
453
00:23:29,776 --> 00:23:33,780
ALL RIGHT, ERNEST T. BASS,
SHAKE DUD'S HAND.
454
00:23:35,648 --> 00:23:37,183
GO ON, SHAKE.
455
00:23:38,818 --> 00:23:40,953
IF I EVER HEAR YOU AIN'T GOOD
TO HER,
456
00:23:40,987 --> 00:23:42,955
I'M GONNA CALL
THAT LADY SHERIFF
457
00:23:42,989 --> 00:23:46,025
AND YOU'LL BE IN REAL
TROUBLE.
458
00:23:46,058 --> 00:23:48,060
OH, I'LL BE GOOD TO HER,
ERNEST T.
459
00:23:48,094 --> 00:23:50,863
ALL RIGHT, LET'S GET ON
WITH THE CELEBRATION.
460
00:23:53,766 --> 00:23:55,468
HEY, PAW, HOW ABOUT
PLAYIN' SOMETHING
461
00:23:55,502 --> 00:23:56,869
ME AND DUD CAN DANCE TO?
462
00:23:56,903 --> 00:23:58,605
YEAH, SOMETHING LIKE
THAT ANNIVERSARY WALTZ.
463
00:23:58,638 --> 00:24:00,106
ALL RIGHT.
464
00:24:00,139 --> 00:24:04,076
LET'S DO "DANCE TILL YOUR
STOCKINGS ARE HOT AND RAVELING."
465
00:24:04,110 --> 00:24:06,579
A-ONE AND A-TWO
AND A-ONE AND A-TWO.
466
00:24:24,864 --> 00:24:26,098
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?
467
00:24:26,132 --> 00:24:27,800
I'D APPRECIATE FOR YOU
TO DANCE WITH ME.
468
00:24:27,834 --> 00:24:28,868
GET OUT OF HERE!
469
00:24:28,901 --> 00:24:30,169
ANDY!
I'M A GOOD DANCER.
470
00:24:30,202 --> 00:24:31,638
YOU'RE SOME KIND OF
A NUT!
471
00:24:31,671 --> 00:24:32,639
BUT I'M A GOOD DANCER.
472
00:24:32,672 --> 00:24:33,806
I DON'T CARE
WHAT YOU ARE.
473
00:24:33,840 --> 00:24:35,141
OH, COME ON!
NUT!
31783
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