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These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:09,643 --> 00:00:12,613 STARRING ANDY GRIFFITH... 2 00:00:12,646 --> 00:00:15,049 WITH RONNY HOWARD. 3 00:00:15,083 --> 00:00:18,086 ALSO STARRING DON KNOTTS. 4 00:00:32,200 --> 00:00:34,168 THANKS FOR THE LIFT, BARNEY. 5 00:00:34,202 --> 00:00:35,836 OH, YOU'RE WELCOME, THELMA LOU. 6 00:00:35,869 --> 00:00:37,671 LET'S SEE IF I HAVE MY MARKET LIST. 7 00:00:37,705 --> 00:00:38,672 OH, YES, HERE IT IS. 8 00:00:38,706 --> 00:00:40,841 OKAY, I'LL SEE YOU TONIGHT ABOUT 7:30, OKAY? 9 00:00:40,874 --> 00:00:42,543 OKAY, BARNEY. 10 00:00:45,279 --> 00:00:46,414 DON'T DO THAT. 11 00:00:46,447 --> 00:00:47,815 WHY 12 00:00:47,848 --> 00:00:48,816 WELL... 13 00:00:48,849 --> 00:00:50,551 FOLKS KNOW ABOUT YOU AND ME. 14 00:00:50,584 --> 00:00:52,686 WELL, YEAH, BUT YOU JUST DON'T COME OUT 15 00:00:52,720 --> 00:00:54,422 AND KISS A DEPUTY ON THE JAW 16 00:00:54,455 --> 00:00:55,656 RIGHT OUT ON THE STREET. 17 00:00:55,689 --> 00:00:57,625 OH, BARNEY, WHY NOT? 18 00:00:57,658 --> 00:00:59,227 WELL, BECAUSE. 19 00:00:59,260 --> 00:01:00,494 I'M SORRY. 20 00:01:00,528 --> 00:01:01,695 THAT'S ALL RIGHT. 21 00:01:01,729 --> 00:01:03,731 IT'S JUST THAT IN MY POSITION, WHY -- 22 00:01:06,567 --> 00:01:07,868 EXCUSE ME, THELMA LOU. 23 00:01:07,901 --> 00:01:11,205 I GOT TO TAKE CARE OF A LITTLE PARKING VIOLATION. 24 00:01:11,239 --> 00:01:12,473 I'LL SEE YOU LATER. 25 00:01:12,506 --> 00:01:13,507 BYE. 26 00:01:15,509 --> 00:01:16,710 I'M SORRY, MISS. 27 00:01:16,744 --> 00:01:18,779 THIS IS A RESTRICTED PARKING AREA. 28 00:01:18,812 --> 00:01:20,648 OH, I'M SORRY... 29 00:01:20,681 --> 00:01:21,849 OFFICER. 30 00:01:21,882 --> 00:01:22,850 I'M NEW IN TOWN 31 00:01:22,883 --> 00:01:25,819 AND I DIDN'T REALIZE I WAS DOING ANYTHING WRONG. 32 00:01:25,853 --> 00:01:26,820 WELL, UH... 33 00:01:26,854 --> 00:01:28,156 I WANTED SOME DIRECTIONS 34 00:01:28,189 --> 00:01:30,691 AND I THOUGHT MAYBE YOU'D HELP... OFFICER. 35 00:01:30,724 --> 00:01:32,393 CERTAINLY, MA'AM. 36 00:01:32,426 --> 00:01:34,595 WELL, I WAS JUST TRYING 37 00:01:34,628 --> 00:01:36,397 TO FIND MY WAY TO THE POST OFFICE. 38 00:01:38,499 --> 00:01:40,234 UH, UH, POST OFFICE? 39 00:01:40,268 --> 00:01:41,402 UH-HUH. 40 00:01:41,435 --> 00:01:43,604 WELL, THE POST OFFICE IS, UH... 41 00:01:43,637 --> 00:01:46,140 WHY DON'T YOU JUST GET IN YOUR CAR 42 00:01:46,174 --> 00:01:49,377 AND I'LL GET IN MY CAR, AND THEN YOU FOLLOW ME 43 00:01:49,410 --> 00:01:51,279 AND I'LL TAKE YOU THERE. 44 00:01:51,312 --> 00:01:53,547 WHY, THANK YOU. 45 00:01:53,581 --> 00:01:55,483 YOU JUST STEP RIGHT IN HERE 46 00:01:55,516 --> 00:01:57,585 AND I'LL OPEN THE DOOR FOR YOU. 47 00:01:57,618 --> 00:01:59,487 GET RIGHT IN THE SEAT THERE. 48 00:01:59,520 --> 00:02:00,688 THANK YOU. 49 00:03:04,318 --> 00:03:05,619 YOU SHOULD'VE SEEN HIM-- 50 00:03:05,653 --> 00:03:08,689 ACTING LIKE HE WAS LEADING HER DOWN THE OREGON TRAIL. 51 00:03:08,722 --> 00:03:11,225 WELL, I EXPECT HE WAS JUST TRYING TO HELP. 52 00:03:16,029 --> 00:03:18,299 OH, HI, THELMA LOU. 53 00:03:18,332 --> 00:03:19,567 HI, CHIEF. 54 00:03:19,600 --> 00:03:20,634 BARN. 55 00:03:20,668 --> 00:03:21,935 DID YOU GET ALL YOUR SHOPPING DONE? 56 00:03:21,969 --> 00:03:22,970 YES. DID YOU? 57 00:03:23,003 --> 00:03:23,971 HUH? 58 00:03:24,004 --> 00:03:25,306 WHO'S THE GIRL? 59 00:03:25,339 --> 00:03:26,440 WHAT GIRL? 60 00:03:26,474 --> 00:03:29,443 THE ONE WHO GOT THE POLICE ESCORT TO THE POST OFFICE. 61 00:03:29,477 --> 00:03:30,478 OH, HER. 62 00:03:30,511 --> 00:03:31,945 YES, HER. WHO IS SHE? 63 00:03:31,979 --> 00:03:34,315 WELL, HER NAME'S MELISSA STEVENS. 64 00:03:34,348 --> 00:03:36,517 SHE JUST MOVED HERE WITH HER DADDY 65 00:03:36,550 --> 00:03:38,886 AND THEY'RE RENTING THE OLD PEARSON PLACE 66 00:03:38,919 --> 00:03:40,321 OUT ON POST ROAD 67 00:03:40,354 --> 00:03:41,989 TILL THEY FIND WHERE THEY WANT TO SETTLE. 68 00:03:42,022 --> 00:03:43,524 HER DADDY'S NAME'S GEORGE. 69 00:03:43,557 --> 00:03:45,393 HE OWNED A COTTON MILL DOWN IN SAVANNAH. 70 00:03:45,426 --> 00:03:46,727 HAD SOME SHIPPING INTERESTS, TOO. 71 00:03:46,760 --> 00:03:48,429 MADE HIS BUNDLE. HE'S RETIRED NOW. 72 00:03:48,462 --> 00:03:49,630 HE'S A WIDOWER. 73 00:03:49,663 --> 00:03:51,799 HIS WIFE DIED FOUR YEARS AGO LAST OCTOBER 74 00:03:51,832 --> 00:03:54,535 AND MELISSA'S BEEN TAKING CARE OF HIM EVER SINCE. 75 00:03:54,568 --> 00:03:56,470 THAT'S WHY SHE'S NEVER MARRIED, SEE. 76 00:03:56,504 --> 00:03:57,838 SHE'S AN EDUCATED GIRL, TOO. 77 00:03:57,871 --> 00:04:00,808 SHE WENT TO JUNIOR COLLEGE DOWN THERE, TWO YEARS. 78 00:04:00,841 --> 00:04:02,576 REAL NICE GIRL, THELMA LOU. 79 00:04:02,610 --> 00:04:04,445 YOU OUGHTA GET TO KNOW HER. 80 00:04:04,478 --> 00:04:05,846 YOU'D LIKE HER A LOT. 81 00:04:05,879 --> 00:04:07,581 SHE'S A... WHAT'S THE MATTER? 82 00:04:07,615 --> 00:04:09,350 YOU GET ALL THIS INFORMATION 83 00:04:09,383 --> 00:04:11,685 JUST SHOWING HER THE WAY TO THE POST OFFICE? 84 00:04:11,719 --> 00:04:13,921 WELL, NO. I DIDN'T JUST SHOW HER THE WAY. 85 00:04:13,954 --> 00:04:15,856 NATURALLY, I ESCORTED HER INSIDE. 86 00:04:15,889 --> 00:04:17,558 OH, NATURALLY. 87 00:04:17,591 --> 00:04:19,760 WELL, MY GOSH, THELMA LOU, WHAT DID YOU EXPECT? 88 00:04:19,793 --> 00:04:21,562 YOU JUST CAN'T POINT AND RUN. 89 00:04:21,595 --> 00:04:22,763 SHE'S NEW HERE. 90 00:04:22,796 --> 00:04:24,365 BEING AN OFFICER 91 00:04:24,398 --> 00:04:26,300 IT'S PRACTICALLY MY DUTY TO SHOW HER AROUND. 92 00:04:26,334 --> 00:04:27,535 RIGHT, ANDY? 93 00:04:27,568 --> 00:04:28,769 OH. YEAH, YEAH. 94 00:04:28,802 --> 00:04:30,338 WHAT DID YOU HAVE TO SHOW HER 95 00:04:30,371 --> 00:04:31,739 THAT SHE COULDN'T FIND HERSELF? 96 00:04:31,772 --> 00:04:33,774 WELL, LOTS OF THINGS-- 97 00:04:33,807 --> 00:04:37,378 THE STAMP MACHINE, THE PARCEL POST WINDOW 98 00:04:37,411 --> 00:04:39,580 THE OUTGOING AIRMAIL SLOT. 99 00:04:39,613 --> 00:04:41,515 YEAH. THEY'RE HARD TO FIND. 100 00:04:41,549 --> 00:04:44,017 WELL, I MEAN, WHEN YOU'RE NEW IN TOWN... 101 00:04:44,051 --> 00:04:46,954 OH, THE POOR LITTLE LOST LAMB. 102 00:04:46,987 --> 00:04:48,822 NOW, WAIT A MINUTE, THELMA LOU. 103 00:04:48,856 --> 00:04:50,057 NO, YOU WAIT A MINUTE. 104 00:04:50,090 --> 00:04:52,993 YOU OUGHTA KNOW YOU MADE A BIG FOOL OF YOURSELF. 105 00:04:53,026 --> 00:04:55,663 WHY? BECAUSE I HAPPEN TO BE COURTEOUS TO A STRANGER 106 00:04:55,696 --> 00:04:57,365 STRICTLY IN THE LINE OF DUTY? 107 00:04:57,398 --> 00:05:00,401 AND IT WAS STRICTLY IN THE LINE OF DUTY, RIGHT, ANDY? 108 00:05:00,434 --> 00:05:01,902 I'D RATHER STAY OUT OF THIS. 109 00:05:01,935 --> 00:05:04,672 WHAT IF I DID OFFER MY HAND TO HELP HER OUT OF THE CAR? 110 00:05:04,705 --> 00:05:06,374 AND WHAT IF SHE DID HOLD ON TO IT 111 00:05:06,407 --> 00:05:08,008 ALL THE WAY THROUGH THE POST OFFICE? 112 00:05:08,041 --> 00:05:10,644 THAT'S PROBABLY JUST A CUSTOM WHERE SHE COMES FROM. 113 00:05:10,678 --> 00:05:11,979 BARNEY, I'D CHANGE THE SUBJECT. 114 00:05:12,012 --> 00:05:13,547 I KNOW YOUR TROUBLE, THELMA LOU. 115 00:05:13,581 --> 00:05:15,416 YOU'RE SUFFERING FROM THE AGE-OLD PROBLEM 116 00:05:15,449 --> 00:05:16,684 OF ALL FEMALES. 117 00:05:16,717 --> 00:05:19,653 JEALOUSY, JUST PLAIN GREEN-EYED JEALOUSY. 118 00:05:19,687 --> 00:05:21,589 WELL! BARNEY FIFE, EITHER YOU AND I 119 00:05:21,622 --> 00:05:23,457 ARE GOING TOGETHER OR WE ARE NOT. 120 00:05:23,491 --> 00:05:25,058 BARNEY, I'D CHANGE THE SUBJECT. 121 00:05:25,092 --> 00:05:26,894 WELL, MAYBE WE'RE GOING TOGETHER 122 00:05:26,927 --> 00:05:29,096 BUT YOU DON'T OWN ME-- NOT YET, YOU DON'T. 123 00:05:29,129 --> 00:05:30,898 I'M STILL A FREE MAN, YOU HEAR? 124 00:05:30,931 --> 00:05:32,466 OF COURSE, MR. FIFE. 125 00:05:32,500 --> 00:05:34,001 YOU'RE AS FREE AS A BIRD 126 00:05:34,034 --> 00:05:36,036 AND FOR THAT MATTER, SO AM I. 127 00:05:36,069 --> 00:05:39,440 NOW, IF YOU DON'T MIND, I BELIEVE I'LL FLY AWAY. 128 00:05:52,853 --> 00:05:56,490 I BELIEVE IT'S NOW TOO LATE TO CHANGE THE SUBJECT. 129 00:06:04,632 --> 00:06:07,968 WON'T TALK TO ME. WON'T ANSWER THE PHONE. 130 00:06:08,001 --> 00:06:10,671 WON'T COME TO THE DOOR WHEN I CALL. 131 00:06:10,704 --> 00:06:13,140 SO IF THAT'S THE WAY SHE WANTS IT, IT'S ALL RIGHT WITH ME. 132 00:06:13,173 --> 00:06:15,543 THELMA LOU GOT A MAD ON AT YOU, HAS SHE? 133 00:06:15,576 --> 00:06:16,944 ANDY, WHAT IS IT WITH WOMEN? 134 00:06:16,977 --> 00:06:18,579 THEY GOT SOME KIND OF A RULE 135 00:06:18,612 --> 00:06:20,548 THEY CAN'T BE HAPPY UNLESS THEY'RE CAUSING TROUBLE? 136 00:06:20,581 --> 00:06:22,483 OH, I WOULDN'T WORRY ABOUT IT, BARNEY. 137 00:06:22,516 --> 00:06:23,817 SHE'LL SIMMER DOWN. 138 00:06:23,851 --> 00:06:25,819 AND THERE'LL BE ALL THE FUN OF MAKING UP 139 00:06:25,853 --> 00:06:28,456 AND HUGGING AND KISSING AND THEN ANOTHER FALLING OUT 140 00:06:28,489 --> 00:06:30,057 AND MORE HUGGING AND MORE KISSING. 141 00:06:30,090 --> 00:06:31,692 LOOK AT IT LIKE THIS. 142 00:06:31,725 --> 00:06:33,794 SEE, YOU'RE JUST PRACTICING UP FOR MARRIED LIFE. 143 00:06:33,827 --> 00:06:36,063 BOY. IF THIS IS PRACTICING UP FOR MARRIAGE, 144 00:06:36,096 --> 00:06:38,131 I'M GOING TO STUDY UP TO BE A HERMIT. 145 00:06:38,165 --> 00:06:40,133 I'M THROUGH WITH WOMEN, ANDY. I'VE HAD IT. 146 00:06:40,167 --> 00:06:41,735 FAR AS I'M CONCERNED, 147 00:06:41,769 --> 00:06:43,737 YOU CAN TAKE EVERY BLAME FEMALE IN THE WHOLE WORLD 148 00:06:43,771 --> 00:06:45,639 AND PUT THEM ON A SLOW BOAT TO CHINA. 149 00:06:45,673 --> 00:06:47,808 HELLO. DEPUTY FIFE SPEAKING. 150 00:06:47,841 --> 00:06:49,777 OH, HI, MELISSA. 151 00:06:52,713 --> 00:06:54,648 WELL, SHUCKS, MELISSA. 152 00:06:54,682 --> 00:06:56,049 IT WAS A PLEASURE. 153 00:06:56,083 --> 00:06:59,453 WELL, I THOUGHT YOU MIGHT LIKE TO COME 154 00:06:59,487 --> 00:07:02,756 AND HAVE SUPPER WITH DADDY AND ME TONIGHT. 155 00:07:02,790 --> 00:07:03,891 SUPPER? 156 00:07:03,924 --> 00:07:06,727 WELL, I DON'T KNOW IF I REALLY OUGHT TO. 157 00:07:06,760 --> 00:07:08,028 UH... 158 00:07:08,061 --> 00:07:09,630 WHY NOT? 159 00:07:09,663 --> 00:07:11,532 I'D BE DELIGHTED. 160 00:07:11,565 --> 00:07:13,066 YEAH. 161 00:07:13,100 --> 00:07:15,435 7:00-ish IT IS. 162 00:07:17,771 --> 00:07:19,507 THAT FOR YOU, THELMA LOU. 163 00:07:19,540 --> 00:07:21,241 WELL, SHE'S JUST GONNA GET 164 00:07:21,274 --> 00:07:22,943 THAT MUCH MADDER AT YOU. 165 00:07:22,976 --> 00:07:24,211 WELL, WHO CARES? 166 00:07:24,244 --> 00:07:25,679 I'M A FREE MAN. 167 00:07:25,713 --> 00:07:28,549 I MIGHT AS WELL PLAY THE FIELD. 168 00:07:28,582 --> 00:07:31,485 TONIGHT MELISSA, TOMORROW NIGHT JUANITA. 169 00:07:31,519 --> 00:07:33,120 AFTER THAT... 170 00:07:33,153 --> 00:07:34,988 WHO KNOWS? 171 00:07:41,695 --> 00:07:43,664 HERE'S ANOTHER ONE FOR YOU. 172 00:07:43,697 --> 00:07:45,499 WHAT IS IT THAT'S YELLOW 173 00:07:45,533 --> 00:07:48,569 HAS FOUR LEGS, FLIES, AND WEIGHS A THOUSAND POUNDS? 174 00:07:48,602 --> 00:07:50,738 I DON'T KNOW. DO YOU, DADDY? 175 00:07:50,771 --> 00:07:52,806 I DON'T KNOW. WHAT IS IT? 176 00:07:52,840 --> 00:07:55,509 TWO 500-POUND CANARIES. 177 00:07:57,244 --> 00:08:00,748 OH, BY GOLLY, I LIKE A GOOD STORY. 178 00:08:02,716 --> 00:08:04,184 TWO 500-POUND CANARIES. 179 00:08:10,023 --> 00:08:11,759 Melissa: MR. FIFE, 180 00:08:11,792 --> 00:08:15,028 DON'T TELL ME YOU ALSO HAVE A KNOWLEDGE OF MUSIC? 181 00:08:15,062 --> 00:08:16,163 YES, MA'AM. 182 00:08:16,196 --> 00:08:17,865 I AIN'T ASHAMED TO SAY 183 00:08:17,898 --> 00:08:20,868 THAT US RUGGED LAWMEN HAVE OUR GENTLER MOMENTS. 184 00:08:20,901 --> 00:08:23,170 YOU KNOW, IT KINDA EASES THE TENSION 185 00:08:23,203 --> 00:08:25,739 AFTER DEALING WITH VIOLENCE ALL DAY. 186 00:08:25,773 --> 00:08:28,609 MIGHT WE HAVE THE PLEASURE OF HEARING A SELECTION? 187 00:08:28,642 --> 00:08:30,644 WELL, SHUCKS, I DON'T SEE WHY NOT. 188 00:08:30,678 --> 00:08:33,647 WHAT NUMBERS DO YOU HAVE IN YOUR REPERTOIRE, MR. FIFE? 189 00:08:33,681 --> 00:08:35,616 ARE YOU KIDDIN'? YOU JUST NAME IT. 190 00:08:35,649 --> 00:08:37,818 "KITTEN ON THE KEYS," "ROSES OF PICARDY," 191 00:08:37,851 --> 00:08:39,953 "FUNICULI, FUNICULA," YOU JUST NAME IT. 192 00:08:39,987 --> 00:08:43,957 DADDY, ISN'T HE A TREASURE? 193 00:08:54,635 --> 00:08:55,869 MORNING, ANDY. 194 00:08:55,903 --> 00:08:58,271 HI. 195 00:09:04,678 --> 00:09:05,913 WELL... 196 00:09:05,946 --> 00:09:08,048 GOT IN LATE LAST NIGHT, DIDN'T YA? 197 00:09:08,081 --> 00:09:09,349 YEAH. 198 00:09:14,988 --> 00:09:18,258 YEAH. I GUESS I DIDN'T HIT THE OLD SACK 199 00:09:18,291 --> 00:09:19,927 TILL ALMOST 10:30. 200 00:09:19,960 --> 00:09:23,597 BOY, THESE LATE HOURS ARE GONNA KILL ME DEAD. 201 00:09:23,631 --> 00:09:25,699 YOU BETTER STOP IT, TOO. 202 00:09:25,733 --> 00:09:26,800 STOP WHAT? 203 00:09:26,834 --> 00:09:29,803 YOU BETTER STOP MESSIN' AROUND UP AT THAT GIRL'S HOUSE 204 00:09:29,837 --> 00:09:33,140 AND YOU BETTER GET OVER THERE AND MAKE UP WITH THELMA LOU. 205 00:09:33,173 --> 00:09:35,142 WELL, MAYBE I AIN'T IN ANY RUSH TO. 206 00:09:35,175 --> 00:09:37,277 MAYBE I KINDA LIKE PLAYING THE FIELD. 207 00:09:37,310 --> 00:09:39,212 YOU GOING UP THERE AGAIN? 208 00:09:39,246 --> 00:09:40,648 MM-HMM. 209 00:09:40,681 --> 00:09:41,882 YEAH. 210 00:09:41,915 --> 00:09:44,952 TONIGHT, AS A MATTER OF FACT. 211 00:09:44,985 --> 00:09:46,820 ALL RIGHT. 212 00:09:46,854 --> 00:09:48,088 SUIT YOURSELF 213 00:09:48,121 --> 00:09:50,824 BUT I THINK WHEN YOU GOT A STEADY GIRL 214 00:09:50,858 --> 00:09:52,726 YOU OUGHT TO BE TRUE TO HER. 215 00:09:52,760 --> 00:09:53,994 YOU KNOW, ANDY 216 00:09:54,027 --> 00:09:56,697 YOU'RE KINDA CUTE IN YOUR OLD-FASHIONED WAY 217 00:09:56,730 --> 00:09:59,299 YOU KNOW THAT? 218 00:09:59,332 --> 00:10:01,168 NO, I DON'T SUPPOSE I'LL STAY 219 00:10:01,201 --> 00:10:03,403 IN THE SHERIFFING BUSINESS ALL MY LIFE. 220 00:10:03,436 --> 00:10:05,739 WHAT DO YOU REALLY WANNA DO, BARNEY? 221 00:10:05,773 --> 00:10:08,709 OH, I MIGHT GO INTO PRIVATE DETECTIVE WORK ONE DAY-- 222 00:10:08,742 --> 00:10:10,678 YOU KNOW, OPEN UP MY OWN OFFICE. 223 00:10:10,711 --> 00:10:13,146 WELL, THAT'D COST A FEW DOLLARS, WOULDN'T IT? 224 00:10:13,180 --> 00:10:15,649 YEAH, BUT I WATCH MY MONEY PRETTY CLOSE. 225 00:10:15,683 --> 00:10:18,118 I GOT A PRETTY GOOD NEST EGG IN THE BANK NOW. 226 00:10:18,151 --> 00:10:20,420 WELL, WHY DON'T WE GO IN THE LIVING ROOM 227 00:10:20,453 --> 00:10:22,389 WHERE WE'LL BE MORE COMFORTABLE? 228 00:10:22,422 --> 00:10:24,725 MMM. THAT'S A GOOD IDEA. 229 00:10:24,758 --> 00:10:27,427 I'LL GET YOUR CHAIR, MELISSA. 230 00:10:27,460 --> 00:10:28,762 THANK YOU. 231 00:10:28,796 --> 00:10:29,863 MM-HMM. 232 00:10:29,897 --> 00:10:32,232 YEAH. I SUPPOSE I'LL ALWAYS STAY 233 00:10:32,265 --> 00:10:34,434 IN SOME SORT OF LAWMAN'S WORK. 234 00:10:34,467 --> 00:10:36,937 I'VE EVEN THOUGHT OF THE F.B.I. 235 00:10:36,970 --> 00:10:38,205 BUT, UH... 236 00:10:38,238 --> 00:10:41,441 I THOUGHT MAYBE I'D DROP OLD J. EDGAR A NOTE 237 00:10:41,474 --> 00:10:44,845 ONE OF THESE DAYS AND SORT OF FEEL HIM OUT. 238 00:10:44,878 --> 00:10:47,915 WELL, I IMAGINE YOU TWO WOULD LIKE TO BE ALONE. 239 00:10:47,948 --> 00:10:50,751 YEAH. I'LL JUST READ MY PAPER. 240 00:11:01,194 --> 00:11:04,732 BOY, HE SURE IS A NICE GUY, YOUR DADDY. 241 00:11:06,834 --> 00:11:10,170 KIND OF... KIND OF A YOUNG-LOOKING FELLA. 242 00:11:10,203 --> 00:11:12,072 BARNEY? 243 00:11:12,105 --> 00:11:13,306 HUH? 244 00:11:13,340 --> 00:11:15,776 YOU THINK I'M NICE, TOO? 245 00:11:15,809 --> 00:11:18,078 WELL, UH, YEAH. 246 00:11:18,111 --> 00:11:19,446 YEAH. 247 00:11:23,216 --> 00:11:25,018 SAY... 248 00:11:25,052 --> 00:11:26,419 LISTEN, I SURE HOPE 249 00:11:26,453 --> 00:11:29,122 WE DIDN'T DRIVE YOUR FATHER OUT OF HERE. 250 00:11:29,156 --> 00:11:30,323 NO. 251 00:11:30,357 --> 00:11:32,292 NO, NO. WE DIDN'T. 252 00:11:35,228 --> 00:11:37,397 THE LIGHT WAS BOTHERING MY EYES. 253 00:11:37,430 --> 00:11:39,933 YEAH. WELL, THEY'LL DO THAT. 254 00:11:39,967 --> 00:11:42,269 IT ALSO MAKES THE ROOM WARMER. 255 00:11:42,302 --> 00:11:44,772 YEAH. THEY CAN DO THAT, TOO. 256 00:11:44,805 --> 00:11:47,941 IT'S SURPRISING HOW MUCH HEAT CAN BE THROWN 257 00:11:47,975 --> 00:11:50,477 BY A LITTLE 60-WATT BULB LIKE THAT. 258 00:11:50,510 --> 00:11:53,947 BOY, THEY... THEY SURE CAN HEAT UP THE ROOM. 259 00:11:53,981 --> 00:11:55,916 BARNEY? 260 00:11:55,949 --> 00:11:57,217 HUH? 261 00:11:57,250 --> 00:11:59,219 ISN'T THIS NICE... 262 00:11:59,252 --> 00:12:00,788 YEAH. 263 00:12:00,821 --> 00:12:02,489 WITH THE LIGHTS OUT? 264 00:12:02,522 --> 00:12:03,957 YEAH. IT... 265 00:12:03,991 --> 00:12:07,194 IT SEEMS TO BE A LITTLE BIT COOLER ALREADY. 266 00:12:07,227 --> 00:12:08,528 BARNEY? 267 00:12:08,561 --> 00:12:10,030 HMM? 268 00:12:10,063 --> 00:12:12,833 WOULDN'T YOU LIKE TO STAY LIKE THIS FOREVER? 269 00:12:12,866 --> 00:12:14,167 WELL... 270 00:12:14,201 --> 00:12:15,836 WELL, WOULDN'T YOU? 271 00:12:15,869 --> 00:12:17,537 YEAH. I GUESS. 272 00:12:17,570 --> 00:12:20,007 BARNEY, DO YOU MEAN IT? 273 00:12:20,040 --> 00:12:21,909 DADDY! DADDY, COME QUICK! 274 00:12:21,942 --> 00:12:23,243 WAIT'LL YOU HEAR! 275 00:12:23,276 --> 00:12:25,145 WHAT HEAR WHAT? 276 00:12:25,178 --> 00:12:26,479 WHAT IS IT 277 00:12:26,513 --> 00:12:28,015 DADDY, GUESS WHAT? 278 00:12:28,048 --> 00:12:30,017 BARNEY HAS JUST PROPOSED TO ME. 279 00:12:30,050 --> 00:12:31,151 HE DID? 280 00:12:31,184 --> 00:12:32,252 HE DID. 281 00:12:32,285 --> 00:12:33,320 I DID? 282 00:12:33,353 --> 00:12:34,855 WELL, CONGRATULATIONS. 283 00:12:34,888 --> 00:12:36,790 OH, MY BOY! 284 00:12:45,098 --> 00:12:46,266 ANDY... 285 00:12:46,299 --> 00:12:47,567 WHAT IS IT? 286 00:12:47,600 --> 00:12:49,269 DID YOU SEE THIS ITEM 287 00:12:49,302 --> 00:12:51,538 IN THE MAYBERRY MERRY 288 00:12:51,571 --> 00:12:53,506 "WHAT LOCAL DEPUTY AND WHAT 289 00:12:53,540 --> 00:12:55,909 "RECENTLY-ARRIVED SOUTHERN BELLE 290 00:12:55,943 --> 00:12:58,211 "ARE PASSED THE HAND-HOLDING STAGE 291 00:12:58,245 --> 00:13:00,180 AND READY TO SET THE DATE?" 292 00:13:00,213 --> 00:13:02,249 LET ME SEE. 293 00:13:02,282 --> 00:13:03,483 WHAT DOES THAT MEAN, PAW? 294 00:13:03,516 --> 00:13:04,584 WHAT DOES WHAT MEAN? 295 00:13:04,617 --> 00:13:06,186 "PASSED THE HAND-HOLDING STAGE 296 00:13:06,219 --> 00:13:07,554 AND READY TO SET THE DATE"? 297 00:13:07,587 --> 00:13:09,857 THEY'RE READY TO SET THE DATE FOR THE WEDDING. 298 00:13:09,890 --> 00:13:12,359 BUT I THOUGHT BARNEY HAD A GIRL-- THELMA LOU. 299 00:13:12,392 --> 00:13:14,227 HE DOES. THIS IS SOMEBODY ELSE. 300 00:13:14,261 --> 00:13:16,296 WHAT DOES HE NEED TWO OF THEM FOR? 301 00:13:16,329 --> 00:13:17,464 HE DOESN'T. 302 00:13:17,497 --> 00:13:19,399 YOU'D BETTER GET GOING TO SCHOOL. 303 00:13:19,432 --> 00:13:21,034 BUT IF HE'S GOT ONE GIRL 304 00:13:21,068 --> 00:13:22,569 WHY DOES HE NEED ANOTHER ONE? 305 00:13:22,602 --> 00:13:24,104 ANDY! ANDY! 306 00:13:24,137 --> 00:13:25,505 DID YOU SEE THIS? 307 00:13:25,538 --> 00:13:27,274 BARNEY, IF YOU GOT ONE GIRL 308 00:13:27,307 --> 00:13:28,976 WHY DO YOU NEED ANOTHER ONE? 309 00:13:29,009 --> 00:13:30,243 COME ALONG, OPIE. 310 00:13:30,277 --> 00:13:32,245 BUT IF HE'S GOT ONE GIRL...? 311 00:13:32,279 --> 00:13:34,114 WHAT AM I GOING TO DO ABOUT THIS? 312 00:13:34,147 --> 00:13:35,582 I KNEW SHE WAS SWEET ON ME 313 00:13:35,615 --> 00:13:37,851 BUT I NEVER DREAMED IT'D GO THIS FAR. 314 00:13:37,885 --> 00:13:39,286 MELISSA HAD THAT PUT IN THERE. 315 00:13:39,319 --> 00:13:40,954 SHE CLAIMS I PROPOSED TO HER. 316 00:13:40,988 --> 00:13:42,189 DID YOU? 317 00:13:42,222 --> 00:13:43,390 OF COURSE NOT. 318 00:13:43,423 --> 00:13:45,092 I WAS JUST SITTING ON THE SOFA 319 00:13:45,125 --> 00:13:47,360 AND ALL OF A SUDDEN SHE TURNED OFF THE LIGHTS 320 00:13:47,394 --> 00:13:49,997 TO COOL OFF THE ROOM, AND, BOOM, I'M ENGAGED! 321 00:13:50,030 --> 00:13:52,265 MY GOSH, ANDY, WHAT AM I GOING TO DO? 322 00:13:52,299 --> 00:13:54,134 WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO? 323 00:13:54,167 --> 00:13:56,069 I WANT TO GET OUT OF THIS. 324 00:13:56,103 --> 00:13:57,637 AND YOU GOT TO HELP ME. 325 00:13:57,670 --> 00:13:59,539 YOU'RE MY FRIEND, MY BUDDY. 326 00:14:03,643 --> 00:14:05,012 AFTER I GO IN 327 00:14:05,045 --> 00:14:07,114 AND TALK TO THELMA LOU FOR A LITTLE BIT 328 00:14:07,147 --> 00:14:09,182 YOU COME UP AND WAIT OUTSIDE THE DOOR 329 00:14:09,216 --> 00:14:11,151 AND WHEN I THINK THE TIME'S RIGHT 330 00:14:11,184 --> 00:14:13,453 FOR YOU TO COME IN, I'LL SIGNAL TO YOU BY SNEEZING TWICE. 331 00:14:13,486 --> 00:14:15,122 YOU GOT THAT? 332 00:14:15,155 --> 00:14:16,656 YEAH. SNEEZE TWICE. 333 00:14:16,689 --> 00:14:18,325 STAY WITH ME, WILL YOU? 334 00:14:18,358 --> 00:14:19,960 I WILL. 335 00:14:30,103 --> 00:14:31,304 WHY, ANDY. 336 00:14:31,338 --> 00:14:32,940 AFTERNOON, THELMA LOU. 337 00:14:32,973 --> 00:14:34,274 MAY I COME IN? 338 00:14:34,307 --> 00:14:35,508 SURE. 339 00:14:35,542 --> 00:14:37,945 OKAY. 340 00:14:49,022 --> 00:14:52,025 JUST WHAT WAS IT YOU CAME TO SEE ME ABOUT, ANDY? 341 00:14:52,059 --> 00:14:53,660 WAS IT PERSONAL OR BUSINESS? 342 00:14:53,693 --> 00:14:55,395 OH, BUSINESS, BUSINESS. 343 00:14:55,428 --> 00:14:57,230 OF COURSE, BUSINESS. WHAT ELSE? 344 00:14:57,264 --> 00:15:00,700 I JUST THOUGHT MAYBE YOU CAME TO TALK ABOUT A CERTAIN PERSON 345 00:15:00,733 --> 00:15:02,502 I'D RATHER NOT DISCUSS. 346 00:15:02,535 --> 00:15:04,437 IF THAT SHOULD BE THE CASE... 347 00:15:04,471 --> 00:15:05,405 OH, NO. NO. 348 00:15:05,438 --> 00:15:08,942 NO. I'M HERE ON OFFICIAL BUSINESS, LIKE I SAID. 349 00:15:08,976 --> 00:15:12,712 WHAT I'M ACTUALLY DOING-- I'M MAKING A DOOR-TO-DOOR SURVEY 350 00:15:12,745 --> 00:15:15,282 REGARDING FOUNDER'S DAY CELEBRATION. 351 00:15:15,315 --> 00:15:18,551 SEE, WE WANT TO GET EVERYBODY'S THOUGHTS ON IT. 352 00:15:18,585 --> 00:15:20,087 YES? 353 00:15:20,120 --> 00:15:21,521 YOU GOT ANY THOUGHTS ON IT? 354 00:15:21,554 --> 00:15:23,456 IT'S FOUNDER'S DAY. 355 00:15:23,490 --> 00:15:25,959 I SUPPOSE WE MIGHT AS WELL CELEBRATE IT. 356 00:15:25,993 --> 00:15:28,061 THAT'S A GOOD THOUGHT. 357 00:15:28,095 --> 00:15:30,463 AND-AND-AND ABOUT THE PARADE-- 358 00:15:30,497 --> 00:15:33,700 NOW, I THINK THIS YEAR WE OUGHT TO GO ALL OUT 359 00:15:33,733 --> 00:15:37,470 YOU KNOW, AND HAVE THE DRUM AND FIFE CORE AND... 360 00:15:37,504 --> 00:15:39,106 OH, I SAID "FIFE." 361 00:15:39,139 --> 00:15:40,673 THAT'S THE VERY PERSON 362 00:15:40,707 --> 00:15:42,475 YOU DIDN'T WANT TO DISCUSS. 363 00:15:42,509 --> 00:15:43,710 YOU ARE SO RIGHT. 364 00:15:43,743 --> 00:15:46,079 BUT SINCE WE OPENED UP THE SUBJECT 365 00:15:46,113 --> 00:15:48,982 WE MIGHT AS WELL GO AHEAD AND DISCUSS IT, RIGHT? 366 00:15:49,016 --> 00:15:50,317 WRONG. 367 00:15:50,350 --> 00:15:52,652 NOW, THE SITUATION BETWEEN YOU AND BARNEY... 368 00:15:52,685 --> 00:15:55,255 SHERIFF, I DO NOT CARE TO DISCUSS BARNEY FIFE. 369 00:15:55,288 --> 00:15:57,490 IF THAT WAS YOUR PURPOSE IN COMING OVER HERE 370 00:15:57,524 --> 00:15:59,993 YOU CAN LEAVE RIGHT NOW! 371 00:16:00,027 --> 00:16:02,495 WELL, SPEAK OF THE DEVIL 372 00:16:02,529 --> 00:16:04,497 YOU DIDN'T SNEEZE TWICE, ANDY. 373 00:16:04,531 --> 00:16:06,633 IS THE TIME RIPE? 374 00:16:06,666 --> 00:16:08,368 I GUESS NOT. 375 00:16:12,539 --> 00:16:14,207 THELMA LOU, ALL BARNEY WANTS 376 00:16:14,241 --> 00:16:15,675 IS TO BEG YOUR FORGIVENESS. 377 00:16:15,708 --> 00:16:17,244 AIN'T THAT RIGHT, BARN? 378 00:16:17,277 --> 00:16:19,512 I WANT TO BEG YOUR FORGIVENESS, THELMA LOU. 379 00:16:19,546 --> 00:16:21,248 THE POOR FELLA'S ONLY CRIME 380 00:16:21,281 --> 00:16:22,649 WAS LOVING YOU TOO MUCH. 381 00:16:22,682 --> 00:16:24,351 I LOVE YOU TOO MUCH, TOO MUCH. 382 00:16:24,384 --> 00:16:26,419 WHEN HIS HEART BECOME FILLED WITH BITTERNESS 383 00:16:26,453 --> 00:16:27,720 AT THE THOUGHT OF LOSING YOU 384 00:16:27,754 --> 00:16:29,056 HE TURNED TO ANOTHER. 385 00:16:29,089 --> 00:16:31,124 TURNED TO ANOTHER, TURNED RIGHT TO ANOTHER. 386 00:16:31,158 --> 00:16:32,692 HE WAS A VICTIM OF CIRCUMSTANCE 387 00:16:32,725 --> 00:16:34,261 NOT OF HIS OWN MAKING 388 00:16:34,294 --> 00:16:36,029 A PAWN IN THE HANDS OF A WILY WOMAN. 389 00:16:36,063 --> 00:16:37,564 OH, SHE WAS WILY, THELMA LOU. 390 00:16:37,597 --> 00:16:39,399 SHE SAID THE ROOM'S TOO WARM... 391 00:16:39,432 --> 00:16:41,034 SO HE'S COME BACK TO YOU 392 00:16:41,068 --> 00:16:42,802 A SADDER BUT WISER BARNEY FIFE. 393 00:16:42,835 --> 00:16:44,671 THAT'S ME IN A NUTSHELL. 394 00:16:44,704 --> 00:16:47,274 WHAT DO YOU SAY, THELMA LOU? 395 00:16:47,307 --> 00:16:49,742 THELMA LOU? 396 00:16:49,776 --> 00:16:51,811 YOU REALLY WANT ME TO FORGIVE YOU? 397 00:16:51,844 --> 00:16:53,646 OH, I SURE DO. 398 00:16:53,680 --> 00:16:56,149 YOU WANT US TO GO BACK THE WAY WE WERE? 399 00:16:56,183 --> 00:16:58,551 OH, GOLLY, THELMA LOU, MORE THAN ANYTHING. 400 00:16:58,585 --> 00:17:00,820 WILL THAT BE ALL RIGHT WITH YOUR FIANCE? 401 00:17:00,853 --> 00:17:02,422 UH, H 402 00:17:02,455 --> 00:17:03,790 NOW, LISTEN, THELMA LOU. 403 00:17:03,823 --> 00:17:05,458 DON'T YOU WORRY ABOUT HER. 404 00:17:05,492 --> 00:17:07,127 I'M GOING RIGHT OVER THERE NOW 405 00:17:07,160 --> 00:17:09,162 AND TELL HER IT'S ALL OFF BETWEEN HER AND ME. 406 00:17:09,196 --> 00:17:11,698 I AIN'T NEVER GOING TO SEE OR SPEAK TO HER AGAIN 407 00:17:11,731 --> 00:17:13,300 OR TO ANY WOMAN AGAIN. 408 00:17:13,333 --> 00:17:14,567 BARNEY, I DON'T CARE 409 00:17:14,601 --> 00:17:16,403 HOW MANY WOMEN YOU SEE OR SPEAK TO. 410 00:17:16,436 --> 00:17:18,471 I JUST DON'T WANT YOU TO ACT LIKE A SILLY SCHOOLBOY 411 00:17:18,505 --> 00:17:20,373 EVERY TIME A GIRL SMILES AT YOU. 412 00:17:20,407 --> 00:17:22,142 ALL RIGHT. NEVER. 413 00:17:22,175 --> 00:17:24,177 FROM NOW ON, LEVELHEADED BARNEY FIFE. 414 00:17:24,211 --> 00:17:25,445 THAT'S ME. 415 00:17:25,478 --> 00:17:28,081 OKAY? 416 00:17:28,115 --> 00:17:29,782 OKAY. 417 00:17:31,651 --> 00:17:34,321 WELL, GIVE HIM A LITTLE SUGAR. 418 00:17:37,624 --> 00:17:39,692 AW, THAT'S NICE. 419 00:17:39,726 --> 00:17:42,662 LITTLE SUGAR ON THE JAW. 420 00:17:42,695 --> 00:17:44,597 MAKE UP. 421 00:17:44,631 --> 00:17:48,168 DON'T YOU HAVE SOMEPLACE YOU WANT TO GO? 422 00:17:48,201 --> 00:17:50,137 OH, UM... 423 00:18:06,853 --> 00:18:09,156 I GUESS IT'S DONE, HUH? 424 00:18:09,189 --> 00:18:10,390 YEAH. 425 00:18:10,423 --> 00:18:12,825 ALL OVER BETWEEN YOU AND MELISSA. 426 00:18:12,859 --> 00:18:13,893 YEAH... 427 00:18:15,295 --> 00:18:17,264 HOW'D YOU DO IT? 428 00:18:17,297 --> 00:18:19,232 HOW? 429 00:18:19,266 --> 00:18:22,269 THE ONLY WAY THESE THINGS CAN BE DONE, ANDY. 430 00:18:22,302 --> 00:18:24,804 FAST. CLEAN. 431 00:18:24,837 --> 00:18:27,207 SHE TOOK IT BAD, I GUESS, HUH? 432 00:18:27,240 --> 00:18:30,843 OH, YEAH, SHE WAS UPSET, ALL RIGHT. 433 00:18:30,877 --> 00:18:32,479 BUT IT'S HER OWN FAULT. 434 00:18:32,512 --> 00:18:35,114 WHO TOLD HER TO FALL IN LOVE WITH ME? 435 00:18:36,949 --> 00:18:39,486 ANYWAY, I HAD TO GIVE IT TO HER STRAIGHT. 436 00:18:39,519 --> 00:18:40,920 THAT WAS CONSIDERATE. 437 00:18:40,953 --> 00:18:42,422 SURE WAS CLOSE THOUGH. 438 00:18:43,756 --> 00:18:45,592 IT SURE WAS. 439 00:18:45,625 --> 00:18:46,859 HELLO? 440 00:18:46,893 --> 00:18:48,895 SHERIFF TAYLOR SPEAKING. 441 00:18:48,928 --> 00:18:50,897 OH, HELLO, MR. STEVENS. 442 00:18:52,765 --> 00:18:54,767 WELL, UH, IS THERE SOMETHING 443 00:18:54,801 --> 00:18:56,936 I CAN DO FOR YOU? 444 00:18:56,969 --> 00:18:59,806 YOU DON'T SAY. 445 00:18:59,839 --> 00:19:01,508 WELL, IS THAT RIGHT? 446 00:19:01,541 --> 00:19:02,809 WELL... REALLY? 447 00:19:02,842 --> 00:19:04,477 WELL, I CAN UNDERSTAND 448 00:19:04,511 --> 00:19:06,213 YOUR POSITION, MR. STEVENS. 449 00:19:06,246 --> 00:19:08,581 WHAT? WHAT, WHAT, WHAT? 450 00:19:08,615 --> 00:19:10,450 BUT... BUT I DON'T THINK 451 00:19:10,483 --> 00:19:13,720 YOU HAVE TO START A BREACH OF PROMISE SUIT. 452 00:19:13,753 --> 00:19:15,722 BREACH OF PROMISE?! 453 00:19:15,755 --> 00:19:18,191 WELL, I TELL YOU WHAT, MR. STEVENS-- 454 00:19:18,225 --> 00:19:20,760 YOU-YOU-YOU AND YOUR DAUGHTER BE IN MY OFFICE 455 00:19:20,793 --> 00:19:22,595 FIRST THING IN THE MORNING 456 00:19:22,629 --> 00:19:24,664 AND WE'LL SEE IF WE CAN'T SETTLE THIS. 457 00:19:24,697 --> 00:19:26,366 RIGHT. RIGHT. 458 00:19:26,399 --> 00:19:27,634 BYE. 459 00:19:27,667 --> 00:19:29,269 A BREACH OF PROMISE SUIT?! 460 00:19:29,302 --> 00:19:30,737 THEY'RE SUING ME? FOR WHAT?! 461 00:19:30,770 --> 00:19:31,804 NOW, BARNEY... 462 00:19:31,838 --> 00:19:33,673 BUT I DIDN'T PROMISE HER ANYTHING. 463 00:19:33,706 --> 00:19:34,807 I WAS RAILROADED. 464 00:19:34,841 --> 00:19:38,411 I GUESS THAT'S THE PRICE YOU PAY FOR PLAYING THE FIELD. 465 00:19:41,548 --> 00:19:43,483 OH, DADDY, ISN'T THIS AWFUL? 466 00:19:43,516 --> 00:19:45,718 CONTROL YOURSELF. OH, THERE, THERE. 467 00:19:45,752 --> 00:19:47,254 YOU SEE, SHERIFF? 468 00:19:47,287 --> 00:19:49,289 I MEAN, I DEMAND SATISFACTION. 469 00:19:49,322 --> 00:19:51,391 NOW, I CAN'T BLAME YOU, MR. STEVENS 470 00:19:51,424 --> 00:19:55,262 BUT ARE YOU SURE YOU WANT TO GO TO ALL THE TROUBLE OF A LAWSUIT? 471 00:19:55,295 --> 00:19:56,963 WELL, I... 472 00:19:56,996 --> 00:19:59,832 IMAGINE WE COULD SETTLE THIS THING OUT OF COURT. 473 00:19:59,866 --> 00:20:01,634 OH... 474 00:20:01,668 --> 00:20:02,802 EASY, HONEY. 475 00:20:02,835 --> 00:20:04,437 UH... WELL, UH... 476 00:20:04,471 --> 00:20:07,440 HOW MUCH... HOW MUCH WOULD IT TAKE, WOULD YOU SAY? 477 00:20:07,474 --> 00:20:10,009 WELL, SHE'S BEEN HURT REAL BAD, SHERIFF. 478 00:20:10,042 --> 00:20:13,380 SEE, WHAT SHE REALLY WANTED WAS TO MARRY THIS MAN. 479 00:20:13,413 --> 00:20:15,315 BUT I SUPPOSE 480 00:20:15,348 --> 00:20:17,617 THAT A CASH SETTLEMENT WOULD HELP MATTERS ALONG. 481 00:20:17,650 --> 00:20:18,818 OH... 482 00:20:18,851 --> 00:20:20,320 UH-HUH. 483 00:20:21,754 --> 00:20:23,523 Stevens: THERE HE IS! 484 00:20:28,828 --> 00:20:30,530 LET'S GET ON WITH IT, SHERIFF. 485 00:20:30,563 --> 00:20:32,465 WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO ABOUT THIS? 486 00:20:32,499 --> 00:20:35,868 WE'RE GONNA TRY TO SETTLE THIS TO EVERYBODY'S SATISFACTION 487 00:20:35,902 --> 00:20:37,837 AND AVOID A BREACH OF PROMISE SUIT. 488 00:20:37,870 --> 00:20:39,272 NOW, BARNEY 489 00:20:39,306 --> 00:20:41,474 YOU STAND, YOU STAND RIGHT OVER THERE. 490 00:20:41,508 --> 00:20:42,742 AND, MR. STEVENS 491 00:20:42,775 --> 00:20:44,611 WOULD YOU MIND BACKING UP 492 00:20:44,644 --> 00:20:46,546 JUST A LEAST LITTLE STEP THERE? 493 00:20:46,579 --> 00:20:48,481 GOT TO BE IN THE RIGHT POSITION 494 00:20:48,515 --> 00:20:50,483 FOR A SETTLEMENT. 495 00:20:50,517 --> 00:20:52,485 NOW, THERE WE ARE. 496 00:20:52,519 --> 00:20:53,886 "DEARLY BELOVED 497 00:20:53,920 --> 00:20:56,689 "WE ARE GATHERED TOGETHER IN THE FACE OF THIS COMPANY 498 00:20:56,723 --> 00:20:59,592 TO JOIN TOGETHER THIS MAN AND WOMAN IN MATRIMONY..." 499 00:20:59,626 --> 00:21:01,761 THAT SOUNDS LIKE THE MARRIAGE CEREMONY. 500 00:21:01,794 --> 00:21:03,029 THAT'S RIGHT. 501 00:21:03,062 --> 00:21:05,565 WE'LL SIGN THE LICENSE ONCE WE GET THROUGH. 502 00:21:05,598 --> 00:21:07,300 "DEARLY BELOVED..." 503 00:21:07,334 --> 00:21:09,536 SHERIFF, WHAT IS THIS A JOKE OR SOMETHING? 504 00:21:09,569 --> 00:21:10,970 WELL, OF COURSE NOT. 505 00:21:11,003 --> 00:21:13,740 WE AGREED TO TRY TO AVOID A BREACH OF PROMISE SUIT 506 00:21:13,773 --> 00:21:15,442 AND IF MELISSA MARRIES BARNEY 507 00:21:15,475 --> 00:21:17,577 WHY, THE PROMISE YOU CLAIMED HE BREACHED 508 00:21:17,610 --> 00:21:19,078 WON'T BE BREACHED AFTER ALL. 509 00:21:19,111 --> 00:21:20,547 AIN'T THAT RIGHT? 510 00:21:20,580 --> 00:21:21,748 "DEARLY BELOVED..." 511 00:21:21,781 --> 00:21:23,316 JUST A MINUTE, SHERIFF. 512 00:21:23,350 --> 00:21:24,884 LOOK, ARE YOU OUT OF YOUR MIND?! 513 00:21:24,917 --> 00:21:26,786 STAY OUT OF THIS. STAY OUT OF THIS? 514 00:21:26,819 --> 00:21:28,321 SHUT UP. SHUT UP? 515 00:21:28,355 --> 00:21:29,722 YOU THINK I'M GONNA MARRY THAT SQUIRT. 516 00:21:29,756 --> 00:21:30,957 SQUIRT?! 517 00:21:30,990 --> 00:21:32,725 NOW, WAIT JUST A MINUTE. 518 00:21:32,759 --> 00:21:35,862 NOW, I DON'T APPRECIATE YOU CALLING MY DEPUTY A SQUIRT. 519 00:21:35,895 --> 00:21:38,565 AND THAT'S PRETTY FRESH TALK YOU'RE USING 520 00:21:38,598 --> 00:21:40,333 TO YOUR DADDY THERE, TOO. 521 00:21:40,367 --> 00:21:43,570 OR COULD IT BE THAT HE'S NOT YOUR DADDY? 522 00:21:43,603 --> 00:21:46,339 AND COULD IT BE THAT YOU CAN'T MARRY BARNEY 523 00:21:46,373 --> 00:21:49,709 'CAUSE YOU'RE ALREADY MARRIED... MAYBE TO ONE ANOTHER? 524 00:21:49,742 --> 00:21:52,445 IS THAT BARELY POSSIBLE? 525 00:21:55,615 --> 00:21:57,417 LOOK, SHERIFF... 526 00:21:57,450 --> 00:21:59,852 FORGET IT, GLADYS. 527 00:21:59,886 --> 00:22:03,490 YOU KNOW WHAT YOU ALL TRIED TO DO IS AGAINST THE LAW. 528 00:22:03,523 --> 00:22:05,758 I HAVE A MIND TO LOCK YOU UP 529 00:22:05,792 --> 00:22:08,995 BUT SINCE YOU DIDN'T SUCCEED, I RECKON YOU CAN LEAVE. 530 00:22:14,734 --> 00:22:16,636 AND I MEAN MAYBERRY. 531 00:22:30,917 --> 00:22:33,520 ANDY, YOU JUST SAVED MY LIFE. 532 00:22:33,553 --> 00:22:34,754 WELL... 533 00:22:34,787 --> 00:22:36,389 BUT WHAT I CAN'T FIGURE IS 534 00:22:36,423 --> 00:22:37,890 HOW'D YOU KNOW ABOUT THEM? 535 00:22:37,924 --> 00:22:38,825 I DIDN'T. 536 00:22:38,858 --> 00:22:41,160 WELL, HOW COULD YOU TAKE A CHANCE LIKE THAT? 537 00:22:41,193 --> 00:22:43,029 HOW'D YOU KNOW SHE WOULDN'T MARRY ME? 538 00:22:43,062 --> 00:22:45,632 WELL, COUPLE THINGS KIND OF GIVE 'EM AWAY. 539 00:22:45,665 --> 00:22:46,899 LIKE WHAT? 540 00:22:46,933 --> 00:22:48,901 ONE THING: HE SEEMED AWFUL ANXIOUS 541 00:22:48,935 --> 00:22:50,637 TO MAKE A SETTLEMENT. 542 00:22:50,670 --> 00:22:53,906 AND THEN, TOO, SHE DIDN'T LOOK TOO UNHAPPY. 543 00:22:53,940 --> 00:22:56,909 DIDN'T LOOK LIKE TO ME SHE HAD CRIED NARY A DROP. 544 00:22:56,943 --> 00:22:58,711 OH. 545 00:22:58,745 --> 00:23:00,813 BUT THAT WASN'T REALLY THE THING 546 00:23:00,847 --> 00:23:02,081 THAT CLINCHED IT. 547 00:23:02,114 --> 00:23:03,916 NO 548 00:23:03,950 --> 00:23:06,419 WELL, I JUST GOT TO STUDYING 549 00:23:06,453 --> 00:23:08,655 WHY WOULD A GIRL THAT LOOKED AS PRETTY 550 00:23:08,688 --> 00:23:11,824 AND FLASHY, AND BIG-CITY AS SHE DID-- 551 00:23:11,858 --> 00:23:13,793 WHY WOULD A GIRL LIKE THAT 552 00:23:13,826 --> 00:23:16,062 WANT TO GET INVOLVED... 553 00:23:16,095 --> 00:23:17,897 WITH A SQUIRT? 554 00:23:17,930 --> 00:23:19,532 SQUIRT?! 555 00:23:19,566 --> 00:23:21,568 WHERE DO YOU COME OFF CALLING ME A SQUIRT?! 556 00:23:29,141 --> 00:23:30,910 BARNEY? THELMA LOU? 557 00:23:30,943 --> 00:23:33,045 IS ANYBODY HERE? 558 00:23:33,079 --> 00:23:36,516 OH, COME ON IN, ANDY. I'LL GET YOU A CUP OF COFFEE. 559 00:23:39,552 --> 00:23:41,621 BARNEY? 560 00:23:41,654 --> 00:23:43,022 WHERE ARE YOU? 561 00:23:43,055 --> 00:23:45,692 OVER HERE ON THE SOFA. 562 00:23:45,725 --> 00:23:47,527 IT'S AWFUL DARK IN HERE. 563 00:23:47,560 --> 00:23:48,895 NOT TOO BAD. 564 00:23:48,928 --> 00:23:51,063 I'M GONNA TURN ON A LIGHT. 565 00:23:57,169 --> 00:23:58,805 UH... 566 00:23:58,838 --> 00:24:00,740 HOW'S IT GOING, BARN? 567 00:24:00,773 --> 00:24:03,643 FINE, FINE. 568 00:24:03,676 --> 00:24:06,546 HOPE YOU DON'T MIND ME DROPPING BY. 569 00:24:06,579 --> 00:24:09,549 NO, AS A MATTER OF FACT, WE WERE JUST TALKING ABOUT YOU, 570 00:24:09,582 --> 00:24:11,518 AND WE WERE HOPING YOU'D DROP BY. 571 00:24:11,551 --> 00:24:14,887 YOU AND THELMA LOU GET THINGS PATCHED UP, DID YOU? 572 00:24:14,921 --> 00:24:17,490 MM-HMM. YES, WE'VE BEEN TALKING, 573 00:24:17,524 --> 00:24:20,660 AND I THINK, IN TIME, THINGS WILL WORK OUT. 574 00:24:22,795 --> 00:24:24,631 WHAT'S SO FUNNY? 575 00:24:24,664 --> 00:24:25,998 DIDN'T YOU EVER SEE A MAN 576 00:24:26,032 --> 00:24:28,034 DRINKING A CUP OF COFFEE BEFORE. 577 00:24:30,637 --> 00:24:32,505 SMART ALECK. 39087

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