All language subtitles for The.Andy.Griffith.Show.S01E27.iNTERNAL.BDRip.x264-LiBRARiANS-en

(whistling sprightly tune)

Starring Andy Griffith...

with Ronny Howard.

Also sfam‘ng Don Knotrs.

I'll be with you
in a minute, Miss.

Uh, that'll be 25.

(cash regis1er rings)

Now, can I
help you, Miss?

Oh, um, Iwas
just lookin’.

Oh, sure.

I was lookin' at
that nail polish.

Oh, this Frosted
Cherry-Berry Bon—Bon?

That's-that’s
a pretty color,

Try some.

Oh, no, |-| don't...

Oh, just... here,
just try a sample on a finger

and see how you like it.

Oh, that's pretty,

Here's something
I bet you'd like,

It‘s called Midnight Madness.

Here, try some.

You like it?

Oh, that's pretty,

Mornin', Ellie!

on, hi, Andy.

Well, Frankie Flint!

I ain't seened you around town
in a long time.

How‘s your paw?

Fine.

Good.

Ellie, you better check
your gas jets in the back.

I believe you got a leak.

Andy, it isn‘t gas,
it's perlume.

Oh, perfume.

It's called Midnight Madness—
here, try some,

What'd you do that for?

Now, that stuff
slicks to ye.

Just like a man.

Doesn’t appreciate
the finer things.

Well, lappreciate,
but I'm a sheriff,

and a sheriffs supposed
to smell like a sheriff,

not a gardenia blossom.

You goin‘ to buy
some of this stuff

are you, Frankie?

Hmm? Oh, no, l...
H was just lookin’.

I don‘t think Pam/d
want me to have it.

Well, I... H
better be goin’,

Paw is goin'
to be waitin'.

Oh, I-I nearly forgot
what I come in for.

Paw wanted me to get him
some chewin' tobacco.

Oh, sure.

I wished you hadn’l‘a
done that, Ellie.

I'm goin’ to have to stand
downwind of everybody.

Here you are, Miss.

20 cents, uh»huh.

(cash register rings)

ELLlE: Is there anything else
you‘d like?

Oh, no thanks, I...
I better be goin‘.

Bye.

Bye, Sheriff,

ANDY:
See you, Frankie,

You gonna
wait on me?

I just might be a customer.
you know.

Andy?

Huh?

That girl“ .
| feel so sorry for her,

Frankie?

You know what
I'd like to do?

What?

I'd like to get together
a few of those things

and just give them
to her to have.

It's obvious
she can't afford them,

and it'd make her
so happy.

Whoa, now, just ease back
on them horses, there.

Well,
what's the matter?

Well, Ijust don‘t think
I'd do that it I was you,

Why not?

Well, you heard her say

her paw don‘t want her
to have them things.

Well, why not?

Idon't know. He just don‘t
want her to have 'em.

He don‘t have to tell us why.

-But. ,.
-Well, now, Ellie,

you ain‘t been livin’
here very long.

And we just don‘t go a—messin'
around in other folks's stew

unless we‘re asked.

But you saw how she looked—
like a child in a toy shop,

All I want to do
is give her a little present,

Now, Ellie,
Flint is set in his ways,

and he don‘t want her
to have ‘em.

But...

(door opens)

Hi, Paw. Hi, Miss Ellie.

Hi, honey.

-Pa\rf?
—Mm-hmm,

Can I have a nickel
for a candy bar?

Mm, I reckon so.

(sniffing)

What's the matter?

Is that you, Paw?

Yeah... it's me.

You sure do smell pretty.

Thanks.

-Nice and sweet.
-I know.

Like a gardenia blossom.

Opie!

That‘s how Aunt Bee smells

when she comes back
from the beauty panor,

You been
to the beauty parlor, Paw?

No, I‘ve not been
the beauty parlor,

Miss Ellie was showin'
me some perfume

and accidentally
spilled some on me.

Now does that clear
things up for you?

Yeah, Paw.

Good.

You sure do smell pretty.
though,

Opie, there‘s
your nickel.

Now, go get
that candy bar,

Okay, Paw,

-Go on!
-Bye.

-Bye-bye.
-Bye.

(sniffing)

Opie‘s right~
you do smell kind of pretty.

That tickles you, don't it?
Just tickles you.

You ought to be ashamed
of yourself,

squirtin‘ that stuff on me.

I‘m sorry. Now, Frankie
would appreciate it a lot more,

which gets me back
to what I was talking about,

Now. what‘s wrong
with giving her

just some perfume
and nail polish and lipstick?

I’m trying to tell
you— it's messin‘ in,

Oh, now, you're a mean thing,

I'm not mean. I just happen
to know the people around here

a little better'n you do,

and I'm tellin’
you not to do it,

Oh, poof.

Ellie, out!
No, no, come on.

Don‘t squirt
that stuff on me.

Howdy, Barney.
How is everything?

on, hi, Andy,

Well, a new batch
of wanteds just come in,

Otherwise, it's been quiet
all morning.

I haven‘t made
a single...

(sniffs)

Say, Andy, uh,
is that you?

Yeah, it's me.

Well, well, what
you got on there?

Or would you rather
not talk about it?

0h, I‘ll talk
about it.

l was over
at the drugstore,

and Ellie
squirted perfume on me

and thought
it was a big joke,

(laughing):
What‘s the stuff called?

What?

The perfume, what‘s
the name of it?

Midnight Madness.

Midnight Madness?!

Well, you do smell
kind of crazy.

All right, now, Barney.

Well, Midnight Madness,
zazoo zaz.

All right, now, Barney,

I told you what happened.
and it‘s not funny,

Well, who says
it's funny?

I think it’s nice.

You smell good enough to
take to a picture show.

Now, Barney, just quit,

What's the matter—
can‘t you take a joke?

Well, yeah,
I can take a joke,

Yeah, you can kid me,

but you can't take
it yourself, can you?

Well, yes, I can.

Shoes on the other
foot now, isn't it?

All right, now,
Barney, all right,

Midnight Madness,
la-de-da.

All right,
Barney, all right,

Well, hi, troublemaker.

Andy,
promise you won't get angry?

What‘d you do?

Andy, I've gotten
together a few things

to take up to Frankie Flint.

Now, Ellie...

Oh, please, Andy.
It‘ll make her so happy.

Just some perfume
and lipstick and powder.

Now, Ellie, I
told you before“,

Please, Andy...

Well...

Thank you, Andy.

Maybe Barney could
just stop by and leave it,

If it means that much to you,

It does.

Barney.

-Oh, hi, Ellie.
-Hi, Barney,

Barney, I want you to
do a little job for me.

Anything for you,
gardenia blossom.

Oh, you noticed,

All right, now both
of you just quit,

Barney, I want you
to take this package

up to the Flint place,

and give it to
Frankie Flint,

and tell her it‘s from
Ellie at the drugstore.

Yeah. Sure, Sheriff.

You can count on me.

I'll get it through.

Package from the drugstore, huh?

Is it a matter of life or death?

Oh, H's not medicine,
Barney, it's just makeup.

You know, some of
that female war paint?

Female...?

It's not medicine?

No.

Female war paint?

That's right.

Andy, don't you think it'd
be lowering the dignity

of the sheriff's office

to have the deputy
deliverin' female doodads

all over the place?

Well,
it's just a little package,

Just a little package?

But of what?

What if I had an accident?

What if I was laying out
there on the road someplace,

and a state
patrolman comes by,

and he finds this little
package, and he opens it?

What does he find?

‘Well, now," he
says to hisself,

"this here
ain‘t no deputy,

it‘s a deputyess."

Oh, Barney, that‘s silly,

Wait, Wait a minute, Andy.

|-| think Barney’s right.

l»l think it really
wouldn't look right

for a deputy sheriff
to be used as a delivery boy.

Oh, well, it‘s just a..,

He shouldn’t
have to do that?

There, you see.

lt-it would be undignified
for a.,. a deputy

to be, have to deliver
a package to the Flint place,

But it wouldn't
be undignified

for the sheriff
to drive a citizen up there.

-Now, Ellie..,
—Let‘s go do it, please?

Now, Ellie,
I told, uh...

Please?

(sighs)

Don'tjust stand there,
give me the car keys.

ELLlE:
Hello.

FRANKIE:
Hello. Howdy, Sheriff,

Howdy, Frankie.

Ellie brought you

some things
from the drugstore,

Me? What is it?

Well, Frankie, we were thinking
of putting in some new items

in the drugstore,
and we wanted to find out

how our women customers
feel about them.

For instance, this nail polish
and lipstick and hand lotion.

You mean, you want me
to have these things?

Yes, and tell us
how you like them,

Oh. Oh, I... I'll-I‘ll try
not to use too much.

Oh, you don't have to give
them back, they're yours.

Yes.

Frankie, how come...?

Thought I didn't hear no sawin’.

How do, ma'am?

ELLlE:
Hello.

ANDY:
Howdy, Flint,

Somethin‘ I can do
for you, Sheriff?

Well, |-| just drove
Miss Walker up here.

She brought some things
for Frankie from the drugstore.

She did?

ELLI E:
Yes. There‘s some hand lotion...

-Some what?
-Hand lotion.

ANDY: It makes the hands
soft and smooth.

ELLlE: And some nail polish
and some perfume.

That perfume
is Midnight Madness.

It's good.

l was just telling your daughter
that she's welcome

-to have these things because...
-Thank you kindly, ma'am,

but Frankie ain't got
no use for them things,

Well, why not?

FLINT:
She just ain't, is all,

But...

Thank you, ma‘am,

but we got lots of chores
that need doin'.

Frankie, you better get to work

on sawin‘ that
wood again.

But Paw, they...

You heard me.

Uh, Ellie, we better
be gettin’ on back.

Oh, wait, wait.

Mr, Flint, I think Frankie
would like to have these.

But Ellie,

Flint here, he don't want her
to have them, so...

Mr, Flint,
Mr. Flint...

I said good day
to you, ma'am.

-But. ,.
—You‘re trespassin‘ on my land,

-This morning...
-Sherifl"?

Let's go, Ellie.

Mr. Flint, you‘re
not being fair.

That‘s not for you to judge,
ma‘am.

Ellie, we'd better
get on back.

See you, Flint,

That's not fair, Andy,

-Yes, Ellie.
-He's her father.

-|t's wrong.
-I know that.

How‘s Frankie ever gonna meet
a nice young fellow

-Well, Ellie...
and-and get married

-and raise a family? How?
-Well, Ellie...

Well, now, Flint
is still her daddy,

and she‘s still got
to do what he says,

0h, he's just
being mean and stubborn.

Now why wouldn‘t he
let her have these things?

Oh, Idon't know.
Proud, I reckon.

Oh, proud. He saw how anxious
she was to have them.

What happened, old man Flint
throw you off his land?

Isn‘t that awful, Barney?

He wouldn’t
let her have them.

Well, Ellie, you tried.

Now, I don‘t know
what else you can do,

0h, Andy,
this is the 20th century.

He may be her father,
but he's not her master.

Well, that's so, I guess, but...

I know how I'd handle
a mean old coot like that.

You do?

Yes, Ido.

Oh, what would you do?

Well, I'd go up to his place,

and I‘d say,
"Flint, you got a daughter?

‘Well, maybe this ain't
none of my business

l’but I think it‘d be nice
if that daughter of yours

had some of them
female decorations."

Oh, you would say that?

Yes, lwould.

You say that
and Flint‘d probably

knock a knot on your head.

I don‘t think
he would.

Well, he just might.

Well, if he did get
smart-nosed with me

you know what I‘d do?

What?

I'd say, "Flint, I‘m taking
that daughter of yours into town

"so she can
get herself prettied up,

"and what are you
gonna do about it?

"That girls got rights

"and I’m here to see that
them rights is protected.

I'm taking her with me."

Bamey, would you?

Huh?

Go up and get her
and bring her back?

It's the only way
it'll finally happen,

Oh, please, Barney,

Well, uh...

Well, go ahead, tiger.

Oh, you think I can't?

Oh, no, no, no, no.

Just try to control your temper.

Give me them keys,

Oh, thank you, Barney,

I'll be waiting for you
at my house, and good luck.

Uh, hey, Barney.

Take it easy, now.

Oh, Flint!

Uh, Mr. Flint.

Uh, uh, Mr. Flint, sir?

Yeah?

Uh, do-do you
have a daughter?

Yeah.

Well, uh, now maybe

this ain‘t none
of my business,

but, uh, l-l
thought it'd be nice

if-if that
daughter of yours

had some of them
female decorations.

You know, uh, things the
girls paint themselves with,

Now, me, I ain't got
much use for them myself,

|-| guess neither
have you. (chuckles)

But, well, girls like ‘em,

and H thought maybe
you wouldn't mind

if she had a few things

to pretty herself up
with, the way girls do.

Of course, now, like I said,
it ain‘t none of my business.

-That‘s right, itain‘t.
-Huh?

It ain't
none of your business,

or that dmgstore ladys
either.

Now, l’m telling you
just like I told her—

my daughter ain‘t got no use
for them things.

Now, is that clear?

Oh, yes, sir,
that‘s clear all right.

Golly, uh, couldn't get
any clearer than that.

I mean, a man would
have to be a dumbbell

not to see how
clear that was.

All rig ht, then,
good day to you,

Well, Mr. Flint,
uh, sir...

I got no more
to say about it,

Now, get off of my land,

Doggone it, I promised Ellie.

And I will.

(chickens clucking)

(spitting)

(chickens clucking,
ducks quacking)

(chickens clucking softly)

(loud clattenng)

FLINT: All right, you...
settle down in there.

What‘s all the fuss about
in here, anyway?

(sighs)

FLINT:
Frankie?

FRAN Kl E:
Yes, Paw?

FLINT:
Better get on them chores,

(pigs squealing)

(squealing)

Psst, Frankie.

Frankie Flint,
I'm taking you into custody,

What?

Come on. I'll explain it
to you in the car.

Get out of there. Get.

(squeals)

W-Well,
how-how'd you do it though?

Well, what do you
mean, how'd I do it?

Just like I said I would.

I walked up to Flint,
and I said,

I said, "Flint,
have you got a daughter?

"Now maybe this ain't
none of my business,

"but then again, maybe it is.

"Now I think that daughter
of yours would like to try

"to look a little bit more
like a gin,

Now, what‘s itgoing to be?"

And-and that’s all
there was to it?

Well, she‘s over at
Ellie's, ain't she?

Well, did-did Flint say
it was all right

for-for you
to bring Frankie into town?

Huh?

Does Flint know

that Frankie's
over to Ellie‘s house?

Well, I‘ll tell you
how I figure that, Andy—

what he don't know
won't hurt him.

Andy/.7 Barney?

Are you ready
for the unveiling?

All right, Frankie--
excuse me-- Frances.

ANDY:
Mmm-mm, Frankie,

you are some
kind of pretty.

I can‘t hardly
look at her.

I-l looked at myself
in the mirror,

and I just couldn't
believe it was me.

If your paw saw
you looking that,

he'd want to see you
like that all the time.

That‘s a wonderful
suggestion, Andy.

That’s just what we’ll do.

-No, Ellie.
-Oh, Miss Ellie,

I don‘t think
I'd better...

Oh, let‘s show him
what he's never seen.

-He‘ll be thrilled.
—You don't know my paw. -No..,

Oh, now, you don't want
to quit now, Andy.

Come on, ol‘ Barney
went and got her,

now you bring her back.

No, Ellie, you-you
heard what Flint...

Well, I didn‘t
want... well...

(sighs)

Well, don‘tjust
stand there,

give me the car keys.

Come on.

Hey, Flint,
wait a minute!

Howdy, Flint.

Back again, Sheriff?

I told you and your lady friend
here this morning

to kindly stay away.

Now I see you brought
somebody else with you,

Well, now, Flint,
it ain't just somebody else,

Huh?

It's me, Paw-- Frankie.

What in the...

ANDY:
Well, Flint, what do you think

of your
daughter now?

Well, |.. I think
she‘s right pretty,

I think it's best
you get out them things

and get back to work.

But Mr. Flint, she
loves these things,

Why can't she
have them?

Because she's a farm girl,

and farm girls ain't got time
for them things.

Well, now, Flint,
I can‘t go along with that,

Other farm girts
has got them.

That‘s because other farmers
have got sons,

Like Jenkins there.

He’s got natural,
built-in farmhands.

This place here is all
we've got, Frankie and me,

And all we've got to woikit
with is our four hands.

I'd like to say thank you,
ma'am, I‘m mighty grateful,

but I can‘t.

So l-l got to say...
get out of them things, Frankie.

But Paw...

Mr. Flint...

Uh, hold on
a minute, Ellie.

I don‘t think
you‘re being fair

to Flint here.

Andy!

Well, I don‘t.

Now-now, Flint,
he‘s a farmer--

businessman, in a
manner of speaking,

and he's got hisself
one asset-- namely Frankie.

Huh?

That's rig ht,
but now, Flint,

I ain‘t
no efficiency expert,

but Ijust
got me a feeling

that you ain‘t using Frankie
efficient-like.

-I ain't?
-No.

Why not?

Well, now,
if we can just try us

a little
experiment here,

I-l believe
you can see what I mean,

Come on,
Frankie.

We'll be back
in a minute.

Frankie‘s a pretty good hand
to work, is she, Flint?

For a girl, yeah.

For a female, but not
as good as male, huh?

Of course not.

So then, on
the debit side,

Frankie is just
a fair farmhand.

But it appears on
the credit side

that Frances is
quite a girl,

Now-now, you-you take
a fine strong buck

meeting up w'th
the "quite a girl,"

why that‘s just a
hop, skip and a jump

from a fine,
young son-in-law.

Now a fine,
young son-in-law,

that’s just another
way of saying

a fine,
strong farmhand.

Now Flint,
as a businessman,

I-I want to ask you,

what do you think is
the most efficient way

of using your daughter?

As Frankie, the
fair farmhand,

or as Frances,
the "quite a girl"?

Well, Ellie, looks
like Miss Frances

is going to
be a-needing

some more lipstick
and rouge and lotion,

and all that good stuff
that draws the flies.

Maybe one of these shades
would be nice.

-That one?
-Mm. I like this one.

-Mm-hmm.
—Maybe that one,

-We|l, howdy, girls.
—0h, hi, Andy. -Hi, Andy,

Oh, Frankie, | see you really
are taking to this new life.

Ooh, making up
for lost time.

Andy, which of these
do you like for a powder—

Tempting Touch, Shimmering Rose,
or Twilight Blush?

Well, I'd say for my complexion,
Twilight Blush,

Oh, it's for Frankie.

Oh, well, now.

-Hi, gang.
~0h, hi, Barney,

Oh, now, here is the man

that helped make
all this possible.

-Oh, come on.
»You did.

You went up there
and got Frankie

and started the whole thing.

That's right, Barney.

Oh, well, it's all in a
day's work for a lawman.

Well, I think
for that action,

that was above and beyond
the call of duty,

that Barney
ought to be decorated,

Yes, sir, with a squirt
of Midnight Madness,

Oh, come on, Andy!
Stop t!

Now l have to go home
and take a shower.

Always clownin’,
kiddin‘ around.

Why don‘t you grow up,
for heaven‘s sakes.

(whistling sprightly tune)