All language subtitles for The.Andy.Griffith.Show.S01E23.iNTERNAL.BDRip.x264-LiBRARiANS-en

(whistling sprightly tune)

Starring Andy Griffith...

with Ronny Howard.

Opie, what in the world
are you doing?

Coloring,

What?

The house, the rug.
or yourself?

Huh?

Look.Look
at the mess

you've just made.

Where?

Where?! Why, this room looks
as if a cyclone had hit it

I declare, Opie, I don't know
what I'm going to do with you.

What's he done now, Aunt Bee?

Oh, 'What's he done,
what's he done?"

This boy is far and away
the sloppiest, messiesl boy

I ever saw in all my born days.

He hasn’t got
the faintest notion of order

or putting things back
where they belong,

Opie, you ought to be ashamed
of yourself,

making a mess
like that.

Now, you know betler
than that.

How do you think
it makes me feel

having your
Aunt Bee say

you‘re the sloppiest,
messiest boy she ever saw?

Why you ough.“

-Andy.7
-Ma'am?

Andy, I take it all back.

He's not the sloppiest,
messiest boy I've ever seen,

He's the second sloppiest,
messiest.

What?

Well, he can't be the first

as long as you‘re around.

Me?

Yes, you.

Look. Look at the mess
that you’ve made,

Gosh, Paw, you're
catching it, too.

Yeah.

Wasn't for me, this house
wouldn't be ft to live in.

This isn't a living room.

This is a combination
closet, warehouse,

waste paper basket,
and storeroom.

And if you think your bedrooms
upstairs are any better,

you're very much mistaken.

And as for you, young man,

the next time you take a peanut
butter and jelly sandwich

to your room and you don't
finish it, would you mind

instead of
under your pillow?

Oh, so that's
where it went.

(telephone ringing)

Oh, never mind, never mind.

I'll answer it, I'll...
I'll answer it.

Hello?

Long distance?

Long distance.

Hello?

Oh! Oh, hello, Edgar.

Cousin Edgar.

Hello.

How are you?

What?

Oh, of course.

Of course, Edgar.

As soon as I can.

Of course!

Oh, Edgar,
what are kinfolk for?

The first thing
in the morning.

Right. Bye, Edgar.

What's the matter

with Edgar?

It's Maude.

She slept with her neck
in a crane,

the window was open,
and she got the bursitis,

Oh, the bursitis.

The poor thing.
She suffers with it so bad.

Well, the doctor said
it wasn't too bad.

She just has to stay in bed
for a couple of days.

Uh-huh.

Itold him I'd go over
and help out.

Well, of course,
you can,

So, itl leave
the first thing in the morning

I might stayjust
as long as I...

Oh, my goodness.

What's the matter?

Oh, heavens, well,
what's this plaoe

going to look like
when I get back?

How are you two going to manage
while I'm gone?

And who's going
to feed you?

And who's going to tell Opie
when to take a bath?

And who's going to see to it
that you get

two green vegetables
and one yellow?

And who's going to do
the shopping for you?

And who‘s going to cook
the Sunday dinner? And who,..?

(car horn honking)

-Oh, dear!
-Oh, Barneys ready

-to drive you to the bus
station. -Oh, my goodness.

0h, who's going
to do the dishes?

0h, me and Opie'll do
the dishes. Don't worry.

-Now, hurry up-- you‘ll miss
the bus. -I am, I am right now,

-Andy, see that Opie takes
a bath every night. -Yes'm.

And Opie, see
that your father

hangs up his clothes when
he comes home from work.

-|'|l do it.
—Andy, don't let him

take any food up to his room.

-All right. -And if he does,
look under his pillow.

-Yes‘m.
—Now, Opie, I want you

to change your socks
every morning.

I want you
to brush your teeth,

and I want you to wash
your hands after every meal

and eat all
of your care.”

Maybe I'd
better not go, hmm?

Aunt Bee, you've
got to go,

Yes, I suppose so.

Well...

Good-bye, Andy.

Bye.

Good-bye,
Opie, darling.

I can't go.

| just can't go.

Oh, Aunt Bee,
please. Golly!

Oh, dear...

oh, dear.

Now, come on.

Oh, you poor boys.

Have a good trip.

Bye, Andy.

Bye, Opie.

Bye, Aunt Bee.

Have a good trip!

as

-Bye! -Bye!

(car pulls away)

Boy, she sure does go on,
don't she, Paw?

Yeah, well, that‘s ‘cause
she loves us, Opie,

and she womes about us.

Wanting us to be healthy
and comfortable

and well taken care of.

Yeah, but it sure is
going to be nice

to be a messer—upper
again for a couple of days.

No, you ain‘t.
and no, lain‘t.

Come on.

No, sir. We're going to be
nice and neat and orderly,

just like Aunt Bee
wants us to be.

We are?

Yes, sir.

And we're going to start
right here in the kitchen

and wash these dishes,
just like I promised Aunt Bee,

Why/2 She ain‘t
going to be here

to yell at us.

Well, now, you are
looking at it wrong.

See, that‘s like saying
you milk a cow

to get strong fingers.

That's the wrong way
to look at it.

We ain‘t going to be
nice and neat and orderly

to please Aunt Bee.

We‘re going to be
nice and neat and orderly

because that‘s
the right way to do things.

Now, I'll wash them,
and-and you put them away.

All right?

(humming)

Right over there.

Now, get that
one all ready.

(whistling)

There you are,
here‘s anothern.

Opie?

Don't you think
it might be a good idea

if you was to dry them
before you put them away?

| wave them a little
before I put them in~

like this.

That ain't
good enough.

Vlfipe them.

(chuckles)

That there really is
hard to get clean,

l betterjust save it
till I get more time.

Yeah, boy,
Aunt Bee really

is going to be pleased
when she sees how clean

and spic and span
everything is.

I thought we wasn't going to be
doing 't to please Aunt Bee.

Oh, well, there's no harm

in killing two birds
with one stone, is there?

No, but it I‘m going to be
nice and neat and orderly,

I sure would like
to have a good reason.

I told you the reason.

Not with your sleeve.

0h.

And not with your
handkerchief, either.

Here, look here—
see that?

Great invention.

Dish towel.
Try that,

(chuckles)

(humming)

(plate breaking)

Opie!

I couldn't help it, Paw.

It just
kind of slipped away from me.

Well, all right,
but next time you break one

I surely would appreciate it
if you'd break it

before I go to all the trouble
of washing it.

Okay, Paw, I'll try.

(telephone ringing)

(sighs)

Hello.

Yeah. Yeah.

All right. All right.

I'll be there.

Opie. .

I got to leave.
Somebody“ ,

somebody knocked down
the stop sign...

the stop sign
over at Spring Street,

and I got to go
over there and fix it.

What about the
dishes, Paw?

Well, I'll... I‘ll get them
first chance I get,

I tell you what
you can do.

You can kind of pick up
your room a little bit

before you go to school.

Okay, Paw.

Okay, don't be late, now,

I won‘t, Paw.

5;?
viéaa

Hey, Opie!

Jimmy?

Yeah. Ready to go?

In a minute.
I'm in my room.

Come on up!

Opie?

Yeah.

I'm under here.

Boy, you‘re the littlest ghost
I ever saw!

Just a minute, Jimmy.

I've got to make up my bed.

What are you doing?

Fixing up my room.

Why?

'Cause it's messy, I guess.

Looks okay to me.

Me, too, but I guess

grownups see
things we don‘t.

Can I help you?

Sure. You know,

cleaning up your
room can be fun.

Hey, that looks
good enough.

Let‘s get the blanket.

(grunts)

Hey, Opie,
look at this!

Aw, that ain't nothin'!

Look at this!

That ain't so good!

I'll show you how!

I can do it better
this time.

Watch this!

Opie, come on, let's get
a little breakfast.

Okay, Paw.

(sighs)

Let's go.

Would you look
at this place?

Just look at it!

What‘s the matter
with it, Paw?

What‘s the matter
with it?

Looks like a bunch
of pigs been through here.

No, Paw. Just us.

That's right.
Just us pigs. You and me.

Ain't that a shame?

Aunt Bee gone
just a couple of days

and this place looks
worse than a pigpen.

What should we do, Paw?

Well, we got to
do something.

We gonna have
to tidy up

and pick up
and polish

and sweep and vacuum and dust
and put things away and...

Only let's not do it right now,

Good!

Let's get some
breakfast first.

It really don‘t look
so bad, Paw.

-You‘ll get used to it.
-(chuckles)

Would you look
at this kitchen?!

Pigs been in here,
too, Pavf?

It surely does
look like it.

We gonna have to get busy
in here, too.

We gonna have to sweep
and mop and pick up

and wash these dishes
and put 'em away

and wash the pots
and the pans...

Only let's not do it right now,

Good!

Let's get some
breakfast first.

Okay, Paw.

All right, now,
you get some dishes

and set the table,
and I'll whip up

a batch of
bacon and eggs.

Paw, there ain't no plates
to set the table with.

0h.

Well, you know what

you're going to
have to do, Opie?

What, Paw?

Go over to Mrs. Edwards‘
and borrow some dishes.

How many?

Well, let's see...
get two big plates

and a cup and a
saucer and a glass...

and-and-and-and get some
knives and forks and spoons

and—and two frying pans—

one for the bacon
and one for the eggs.

(phone rings)

Wait, wait a minute.

Hello?

Long... long distance?

It‘s long distance.

Must be Aunt Bee calling
from Mt. Pilot.

(clears throat)

(yelling):
Hello!

Hello, Andy?

It‘s me, Aunt Bee,
calling from Mt. Pilot.

It's Aunt Bee calling
from Mt. Pilot.

Hello!

I‘m fine,
just fine,

He's fine, just fine,

He's standing right here
beside of me.

You want to talk to him?

Come here, Opie.

Say hello...
say hello to yourAunt Bee.

Hi, Aunt Bee!
How are ya?

Fine, just fine,

Here's Paw again.

Hello?

Hello, Andy.

Is everything all right?

Is everything in order?

In order? Uh, well,

of course,
everything‘s in order.

Mm-hmm. lcan imagine.

The living room is a mess

with papers and clothes
and toys,

and the kitchen‘s even worse.

The sink is piled high
with pots and pans.

And... Come on. now,
tell the truth.

That‘s what it‘s like, isn't it?

Uh, well... well, no, Aunt Bee.

Everything‘s just-just fine
and dandy.

Mm-hmm,

Well, Andy, I called to tell you
Maude‘s feeling much better,

and I‘ll be coming home
bythe afternoon bus.

Oh, well, that's fine,
Aunt Bee.

We certainly are looking...

This aftemoon?

Yes. Why?

Oh, n-nothing.

We'll meet you
at the bus station. Bye,

Bye.

(groans)

Opie, Aunt Bee's coming in
this afternoon.

She is?!

Yeah.

I told her
everything was in order,

Can you imagine
what she's going to say

when she sees the place
looking like this?

Uh-huh. She'll say, "Land sakes
alive, look at this house!

"Just look at it!

If it wasn't for me, this house
wouldn‘t be fit to live in."

(chuckles):
Yeah.

We wouldn't want her
to say that, would we?

No.

All right.
Let's get busy, then.

You get your room,
I’ll get the kitchen,

and we‘ll both get
the living room.

Okay, Paw.

Okay. Oh, and, Opie.

Yes, Paw?

Now, it the underside
of your pillow looks like

a peanut butter
and jelly sandwich,

don‘t just scrape
it off; change it.

lwill, Paw.

That‘s a mighty fine job
you did on your room, Opie.

Sure is, Paw.

We really did it,
didn't we?

Sure did, Paw.

Yeah, this place
looks neat as a pin.

Sure does, Paw.

It makes you
feel good, don't it?

Kind of a warm feeling

right in the middle
of your stomach,

lightness
around your heart,

your head two or three feet
above your shoulders.

You know why you‘re feeling
that way, don‘t you, how

‘Cause I‘m pooped.

Naw, we feel good
‘cause we know how happy

it’s going to make Aunt Bee
when she sees what we done.

Yeah. Boy, is she
going to be happy

when she finds out

we can get along
pretty good without her.

Yeah, Boy.
she‘ll look around

she‘ll see this place
and how clean...

What did you say?

I said how
happy she'll be

when she finds out

we can get along
without her.

Yeah, that's what
I thought you said,

What's the matter, Paw?

I think we made
a terrible mistake, son.

We did, Paw? How?

Well, let's see...
how can I explain it to you?

Oh, oh... which one
would make you feel worse—

it I was to say to you

"Opie, do this and do that"~
‘cause I needed your help?

Or it I was to say to you,
"Opie, I don't need you"?

Paw, you do, too, need me.

Well, of course I do.

The point is,
you want to be needed, see?

And so does Aunt Bee,
and so does everybody else,

And see, that's where
we made our big mistake—

by getting this place
all spic and span,

we're going to give
Aunt Bee the feeling

that she ain‘t needed.

You, uh... you know
what we got to do, boy?

We got to mess
this place up again?

That's right. We got
to let them pigs back in here.

Okay, Paw. Here goes.

Whewl You know, it‘s
near 'bout as tiring

to mess a place up
as it is to un-mess it.

Yeah, but it sure
is a lot more fun.

Ain't it?
We better get on down

to the bus station.
Aunt Bee‘s about due in.

(sighs)

(chuckles)

Yes, sir, we surely
did a mighty finejob,

Ain‘t it
a dinger, Paw?

Yes, sir.

MISS EDWARDS:
Hi, Andy.

Well, hey, Miss Edwards.
How are you?

-Morning, Opie.
-Hi!

I'm just fine, Andy.

Oh, I stopped by to see when
Bee’s coming back, Andy.

Well, now, ain't that
a coincidence?

We was just on our way
to the bus station to meet her.

Why don't you stop by this
evening and say hello to her?

I'll do that.

-You'll excuse us?
We'll be late. -Sure.

OPIE:
Bye.

(car starts)

0h!

Oh! Did you ever
see such a house?

(clucks tongue):
Poor Bee.

(sighing):
Well...

All right.

Come on, young'un.

0h, Aunt Bee, we
surely did miss you.

We surely did.

Yes, sir, Aunt Bee,
we surely did miss you.

Did you miss us?

Oh, terribly,
and I worried about you, too,

but your paw told me
over the phone

how well you were managing.

Well, I‘m glad.

| only hope
I can get the door open.

Oh, Aunt Bee,
before you go in,

I didn’t get
too much time to clean up.

Oh, now, stop worrying,

We'll clean it up
with a mop and a pail

and a bulldozer.

Well...

I'm sorry, Aunt Bee.

We really should
have taken time to, uh...

Why... it looks fine.

Just fine.

Wonderful, the way
you've managed.

Why, the house
looks as good...

better than I could
have done myself.

Well, that ain't
our fault.

We went through...

on, now, don't
be modest, Opie.

You and your Paw
did a finejob,

Well, lguess
I could have stayed

at cousin Edgar‘s
a little longer,

seeing as how well

you got along
without me.

We... we didn't
really get along

without you,
Aunt Bee.

Oh, yes.
Yes, you did, Andy.

The house looks
just beautiful,

(voice breaking):
Makes me very happy.

I'm... I'm so proud
of you boys.

I'm... I'm so proud
and happy that...

I could...

Aunt Bee, we didn‘t
get along that good.

Really, we didn‘t.

We're kind
of surprised, too.

l... I mean...

(clattering)

What was that?

What was what?

That noise.

What noise?

What noise?

Andy, you heard that
as well as I did.

It sounds as if
it‘s coming from Opie's room.

Well, Aunt Bee, don't
go up therejust yet,

Why not?

Well, Opie‘s room
might be a mess,

and he might be
trying to pick it up

before you see it.

Well, what would
he do that for?

What am I here for?

Opie, you stop whatever
that is you're doing!

Opie, you keep a-going!

Ah! Thought you could
get it out of there

without my seeing it,
did you?

No, I thought I could...

You thought you'd try
to put something over on me.

Well, you can't, young man!

Why, just look at this room!

(dishes clattering)

Your father, he‘s trying
to clean up the kitchen.

Aha! Caught you
red-handed, too, didn‘t I?

Oh, l-l guess you
did, Aunt Bee.

Look at this place!

Just look at it!

Well, I'm sony, but
when you called to say

you was coming in
this afternoon,

me and Opie just had time
to do the parlor.

Oh, and you thought you'd clean
up the rest behind my back?

Well, Andy Taylor,
a body‘d have to get up

mighty early in the morning
to put one over on Bee Taylor.

Yes, sir,
a body surely would.

Land sakes alive!

Look at this room!

Just look at...
I don't know what to do

with the two of you.

You're helpless,
absolutely helpless.

If i wasn't for me,
this house wouldn't

be fit to live in.

Well, it's a good thing
I didn‘t stay

with Maude a little longer.

I wouldn't have been
able to get into the house.

I just don't know when
or where to begin.

(knocking on door)

Come in.

Yoo—hoo! Bee!

Hello, Bertha.

Hello, Bee.

Hello, Andy.

Hey, Miss Edwards.

Oh, it‘s so good

to have you
home again, Bee,

Oh it's good
to see you, Bertha.

Come on over here
and sit down.

Well...

how did you
find the house

when you got home, Bee?

The house? Oh, Bertha,
you wouldn‘t believe it.

It looked as if it hadn't seen
a dust mop or a broom

since the day I left.

What?

Oh, worse. It looked
as it it had been

taken care of
by somebody

who would be more
at home in a pigpen.

Well...

Well!

(door slams)

Well, what did I say
that was wrong?

(whistling sprightly tune)