All language subtitles for The.Andy.Griffith.Show.S01E10.iNTERNAL.BDRip.x264-LiBRARiANS-en

(whistling sprightly tune)

Starring Andy Griffith...

with Ronny Howard.

Also sfam‘ng Don Knotrs.

(guitar playing)

Why‘s everybody looking at me?

Well‘ we got to.

We go! to see
that to believe it.

How many you reckons
gone down into

that bottomless
pit so tar’?

I stopped counting
at four.

What you doing?

Just checking
to see if theyre

coming out
of your head,

Spot anything?

Not yet.

Good, then I got room
for marshmallows.

Oh... no.

You eat anymore, you'll
swell up so tight

your freckles
will fall off.

(laughing)

Say, uh, hoWs
about you and me

taking
a little walk

down by the lake.
Hilda May?

Oh, I really should
help clean up here.

Oh, no, you two go ahead.

I can do it.

Well, it you're sure
you don't mind.

(Barney grunting)

(chuckling)

All right.

I hope there aren’t
any wild animals,

If I were you,
lwouldn‘t worry too much about

the wild animals.

Aunt Bee,
can you and me

take a walk
through the woods

and look
for gophers?

Oh, now, I should stay
and help Ellie.

No, you go ahead,
Aunt Bee.

Really/.7
-I can clean up.

All right,
Come on, Opie.

0h.

Okay, then after
we get back

can I eat
some more hot dogs?

Walkin‘ makes me
hungry.

Oh, now, Opie,
you've had enough.

You know,
it's a good thing

that boy
ain’t a beaver.

There wouldn't be a tree
tan in these woods.

You know you sure do
add to a picnic.

You really do.

| used to think
all you needed

was weenies and lemonade
and potato salad

but you round
it off real nice.

Well, thank you kindly,
Sheriff.

When you rate me
right up there

with potato salad,
I know you care.

(sighing)

(moaning)

Andy, what's that?

What's what?

That article about candidates
for the city council?

Oh, ldon't know.

I imagine
it's a article

about the candidates
for the city council.

But, Andy, look who they are.

Well, what‘s so
special about it?

Just the same fellas
that always run.

Every one of those candidates
for city council is a man.

Well, that’s why they
call 'em council men.

It does seem to fit.

|-| think that's awtul.

Why don’t they have
women running for council?

You say something about
women runnin' for council?

Well, why not?

Because one of 'em
might win.

And why not?

They do everywhere else.

Apparently you
don't think much of women.

Oh, well, now,
you're taking it personal.

Darn right
I am.

Oh, well, now that's
a silly attitude.

Silly?!

Oh, oh, I didn't
mean to say that.

No, I didn't mean
to say that a bit,

It just slipped
right out of my mouth.

Here, give it, give
it right back to me.

(sucking)

Well, there, it‘s back.

(groaning)

And it had a bad taste.

That‘s the way
a pretty young girl

ought to look
at a picnic.

Not scrunched up
over a whole mess of politics.

You're right.

Well, actually,
I wasn't discussing politics.

I guess I was just
trying to defend my sex.

And with perfect right.

Shows you got
a lot of pride and dignity.

Thank you.

And no need to thank me either.

I was just statin' a fact,

Whole lot of times
we do things and say things

even though we know deep down
they‘re just plain silly.

Oh, did that bad-tastin‘ word
slip out again?

Ellie...

I didn‘t mean to say it.

Don't go.

Uh, Ellie—

it's just one of them
greasy words that slips out

without you a-knowin‘ it.

If that ain't the silliest...

0h. .

Uh...

holds this, uh,
sound to you, Otis?

Uh, it starts off,
it says, uh, ltsays

"Dear Ellie

"I am sorry about yesterday.

"I would not intentionally
insult you or any other woman,

Please torgive me."

Signed "Yourfriend

and admirer of women
everywhere, Andy. "

No. No, no.

No, Andy.

Don't never apologize
to a woman.

I say, if you got a argument
with a woman

stand up and fight it out.

Well, fightin' it cuts

what put you behind
them bars, Otis.

But she threw a dish at me.

You swung
a leg of lamb at her.

»But I missed her.
—Yeah, but you hit her mother.

Yeah.

Right in the mouth.

(laughing)

Otis, you can't do that,

When dealin‘ with women

you got to be calm
and oool and gentle.

You can't go around
hiltin' them in the mouth.

What's the matter with you?

Sheriff.

Sheriff, guess what.

What?

Oh, hi, Otis.

Say, | just seen
your mother-in-Iaw

comin' out of the dentist.

Andy, guess what.

What?

-Go ahead and guess.
-Guess what?

That's right. Go ahead
and guess. Try and guess.

I can‘t.

-Oh, guess!
-Well, let's see...

Ellie Walkerjust signed
up to mn for council.

-No! -See, I told you
you wouldn't guess.

Well, it's true. She's got
a bunch of women goin' around

right now with a petition
to get on the ballot.

Hilda May‘s one of them.

A woman
running for council?

That's awful.
We can't have that.

That's what I tried
to tell Hilda May.

lwas so upset, I come darn near
not signin’ 't.

Do you mean
to stand there

on them two skinny
feet of yours

and tell me you actually
signed that petition?

Well...
well, darn it, Andy

she-she-she's got ways.

Got ways?

Aw, what kind of ways?

Well, she-she
sweet-talked me.

Sweet-talked you?

What'd she say to you?

Well, come on,
what, what?

What'd she say?

She said, uh,
she said B—B-Barney...

Yeah.

Honey“ .

Yeah. Yeah.

Sugar“,

Yeah, yeah.

Cream puff...

Cream puff?

That's right— cream puff!

Didn‘t you ever hear
of a cream puff before?!

What's the difference?
No woman's gonna win.

That ain't the point.

It‘s just bad havin' a woman
runnin', cream puft.

Well, yeah, boy,

it ain‘t never happened
in Mayberry before.

Could stir up a right
good-sized hornet's nest.

Maybe I better
try to unstir it.

You going to have
a talk with Ellie?

Yeah, I reckon I
better, cream puff.

You can talk all you want,
but if you want results

hit her in the mouth
with a leg of lamb.

(bell rings)

Yes, what can I do for you?

Oh... it's you.

Uh, I don't, uh

I don't blame you
for being mad at me

and I‘m...
I'm sorry about yesterday.

Well, as a matter
of fact, so am |.

l was nide to walk
out on you, Andy,

I'm sorry.

Do you accept my apology?

Well, I reckon I do.

Oh, good.

Let's have a peace offering.

Fine.

I'll buy you a soda.

Oh, Oh, that's right

that's not much of
a treat for you, is it?

It's kind of like
offering a shoemaker

an extra mouthful of tacks.

(both laugh)

Well, let me fix
you one anyway.

All right.

Oh, it's good
for you to laugh,

especially
after you've been mad.

(chuckling)

Oh, and speakin' of laughin'

a fellow told me
the funniest thing.

| near 'bout died.

Have you heard the wild
rumor goin' around

town about you?

You don't mean
about me running for council?

You've heard it.

Ain't that
the most ridiculous thing

you ever heard of?

@é

No.

It happens to be true.

Oh, Ellie,

you don't
want to concern yourself

with government business.

You want to let the men
worry about that.

All you want to worry
your pretty little head about

is woman's stuff~
you know, goin‘ shoppin'

and lookin' in windows
and twin on hats

and eatin' them
little bitty sandwiches

that you have at the parties,
and gossiping.

Y—you see what I mean?

Oh, lsee.

Good.

A woman should keep her place,

stay where she belongs.

A woman shouldn't
try to think

along the same
level as a man.

Why? Because we're
simple—minded little fools.

Now, Eleanor, you‘re puttin'
words in my mouth. ..

Well let me put in
a few more.

I am not withdrawing.

l have every intention
of running for council.

What‘s more,
I intend to encourage

other women to do the same.

Who knows?
The day may come

when the city council
of Mayberry

is comprised
entirely of women,

Put that in your
soda and sip it.

Otis was right.

All they understand‘s
a leg of lamb.

Here, here's one.

Put that one up
right there.

Never smile on these
wanted pictures, do they?

Not so‘s you
can tell it.

Reckon they ain't got
nothing to smile about,

Dinner,
everybody!

-Here you are,
-Oh, look out.

Oh, boy, I could eat a horse,

Ain't got a horse

but it looks like some
mighty good fried chicken.

BARNEY:
Mmm, look at that.

(all clamoring over food)

Honey, chicken...

look at them
turnip greens.

Have to save that
gizzard for Barney,

Have you heard
the news?

Have you heard
the news?!

What news?

Ellie turned in
her petition.

She got enough names
to run for council.

You don't mean it.

She needed a hundred names.

And that's
exactly what she got.

An even hundred.

Well, isn't it exciting?

The first time
in Mayberry

a woman ever ran
for office?

We're growing up
like the big cities.

Oh, Otis, I hope
you're out of jail

in time to vote.

I ain‘t hungry.

(sighs):
I wouldn't have believed it.

A hundred names.

I never thought
she'd get enough.

Yeah, how about that?

Yeah, how about that?

If she'd just got 99,
she wouldn't have made it

but she got a hundred!

Amazing what that
hundredth name

can do on a petition,
ain't it?

Andy, my name wasn't
the hundredth one.

It was the very first.

Andy...

have you heard
the news?

My wife's all
for this

and she ain't
the only one,

No telling where
it's liable to end.

It‘s liable to snowball
clear out of control.

This is
the worst thing

that ever happened
to this town.

It‘s Mayberry‘s
darkest hour.

0h, now, fellas,
it can't be that bad.

There he is.

There‘s the weak-kneed,
chicken-livered

yellow-streak tumcoat.

Now, look, Sam, you got
something to say, say R.

Now, now, boys, itain't no use
to let your tempers flare.

If Barney hadn't
signed that petition

why, they would have gotten
their hundredth name

someplace else.

There ain't no use

to come in here
and chew him out.

Thanks, Andy.

It‘s okay, tumcoat.

All right,
forgetting Barney

and getting back
to the problem.

We‘re laying this
right at your door.

We ain‘t
never had a woman

run for office
in Mayberry before.

Now what you going
to do about it?

Yeah, you‘re
friendly with her.

Now, now, just
wait a minute.

Now, Ellie's just
running for council,

Now, running is a long
ways from winning.

Don‘t be too sure, Andy.

There are a lot
of women voters in this town.

Just as many as
there are men.

Not to mention
a few men

that might go over
to their side.

What man would vote
for a woman?

The same weak-kneed,
chicken-livered

yellow-streak turncoat
that would sign a petition!

I'm just waiting
for you to go too far.

I said, nrnning is a long ways
from winning, and it is.

Now, if you don't want
something to happen

you don‘t stand around
and whine about t.

You do something.

What?

Look.

Now, we control
the purse strings

ain't that right?

Now, suppose we showed
our womenfolk

where they're going to have
to do without certain things

if they get too cute
about this election business.

Suppose, like, for instance

charge accounts
just stopped charging,

Yeah.
That might work, huh?

Hey, that‘s
a good idea, Andy.

Maybe then
they'll think twice

before running a woman
for office.

By golly, I’m going
down to Davis' store

and cut that charge
account off right now,

Otis!

Huh?

You‘re still a prisoner,
you know

Can I use the phone?

Help yourself.

I want to call the store.

Yeah.

Sara, get me Davis' store,
will ya?

This will hurt her
more than a leg of lamb

across the mouth.

J'J‘

(clamoring)

Wait a minute.

Wait a minute now.

The men started this.

We have some pretty
potent weapons

to fight them
back with.

We have?

Why, sure, we have.

There you are, Opie,
good old scrambled eggs.

Is that what they are?

Of course
that’s what they are.

What'd you think they are?

It's kind of hard to tell

under all the black part.

It's not black.

It's well-done.

Oh, you mean like
the well-done, black rioe

we had for lunch yesterday.

Opie, I'm having

some delicious,
homemade stew.

Wouldn‘t you like
to join me?

No, ma‘am.

I’m sticking
with the men.

That's a time.

No matter how much
t hurts my stomach.

Now, lookie here, boy.

I don't claim

to be the best cook
in the world, you know?

Well, you sure ain't.

All right. Eat your eggs.

Now. now, boys,
what's the trouble?

Are you having difficulty
getting along

w'thout us
second-rate women?

(knocking)

Come in the house!

Oh, Ellie.

Well, what are you doing
in the enemy camp?

| just came by
to say "you win."

Huh?

I‘m withdrawing
my name as candidate.

How's that?

Oh, Ellie, why?

It just isn‘t
worth it, Aunt Bee.

You know the rally
down at the hotel

where the loyal opposition
gathered to jeer and poke fun?

Well, it's just not worth it.

And, and you're going to quit?

That's right.

When I decided to run

I had no intention of starting
a civil war in Mayberry.

I happen to like it here
too much.

Does that mean
we beat 'em, Paw?

Yeah,
I reckon it does.

We won, we beat
them females.

We kept them
in their place.

Wait just a minute.

Us menfolks don't want women

mnning our town, do we, Paw?

Now, there‘s

a fine example
of raising a little boy.

Uh...

Well, Andy?

Uh, uh, Ellie!

(clamoring)

WOMAN:
I say that we've been living

in the dark ages long enough.

(women cheering)

Women are just as capable

of running Mayberry
as the men.

More so.

(cheering)

WOMAN:
We want Ellie!

We want Ellie!

We want...

There‘s Ellie now!

(cheering)

(band playing)

We want Ellie!
We want Ellie!

Hold it! Hold it!

All right! All right!

But first, now, I want
to say something.

Give 'em what for, Andy.

Whoa, now!

Whoal Hold back there
a little bit.

Hurray! Attaboy, Andy!

That's Andy up there.

He's my boy. Yay!

Whoo!

ANDY:
Now, first off

I reckon you women know
that it's against the law

to hold a big meeting
like this

in a public place
without a permit.

(mumruring)

But, now, now, I reckon

we can overlook
that little detail this time.

(mumruring)

The fact is

we got more important
things to consider here.

Now, now, we men are against
a woman mnning for council.

Yeah! Yeah, Andy!

(clamoring)

ANDY:
All right! All right!

The woman in this case
being Ellie Walker.

Now, we're against her
because she's a woman.

But now, when you try to think
of any other reason

you kind of draw a blank,

Now, I heard my little boy,
Opie, just a little while ago

say something against women.

And I want to tell you
the truth.

l was ashamed.

I really was.

lwas ashamed because
he was just parroting

what he had heard
me say.

See, I've made him,
I've made him anti-woman.

And by—and-by
some of these times

when he grows up
and wants to get married

why, ifyou ruled out women

why, that cuts down the field
a good bit.

And, well, I don't know,
what I'm getting at

is, is I hate to admit it

but it Ellie wants
to run for council

well, I reckon
she's got a right to.

WOMEN:
Hurrah!

(band playing)

Hurrah!

Oh, Andy.

Well...

there's one for
the books, ain't it?

A sheriff being kissed
by a councilman.

And speaking for
sheriffs everywhere

I'm for that.

J' It's time for Opie
to go to bed I

J‘ Time for Opie to go to bed I

One more, Paw.

No, now, another one more.

Time for you to go to bed.

Now get right on up there.

Give me a little
smug right there.

Good night, Paw.

Good night, Miss Ellie,

Good night,
honey,

'Night, Opie. Get on up,

I declare, that boy/ll l'one more
song" me to midnight

if I let him stay up,

Oh, howdy, Barney.
Come on up on the porch.

Andy.

Hi.

Ellie.

Where's, uh,
where's Hilda May?

Walked her home.

Oh, you did, did you?

What's, uh, the matter
with your jaw there?

Where?

On your cheek,
right there,

That little
red smudge.

Is that some of
Hilda May's lipstick.

I guess so.

I don't use the stuff,
for heaven sakes.

Oh, Hilda May give him
a little kissy, didn't she?

She call you "cream puff'?

J' Barney's a cream puff,
so they so say J‘

J' Barney's a cream
puff, so they say I

J' Barney's a cream puff,
so they say I

J' He's called that
by Hilda May I

Oh, now, Andy.

Stop teasing
Barney.

Oh, let him go, Ellie,

He thinks he's so funny,

It‘s breaking me up.

Hardy-har, hardy-har.

Maybe I do
pick at him too much.

Seem like
I can't help it, though.

I reckon I'll quit.

I reckon I‘ll just quit pickin'
at everybody.

Yeah.

J' Eleanor Walker, councilman J'

J‘ Won the election
and away she ran J'

J' Everybody knows
she’s just a phillie J'

J' Running for council's
just plain silly I

lwon't. lwon't,
I won't no more.

lwon’t pick at you
near another time.

(chuckling)

J‘ Time for me
to shut my mouth I

J' Time for me to shut
my mouth I

J‘ Time for me
to shut my mouth I

J' ’Fore I give up
and leave the South. J‘

(whistling sprightly tune)