All language subtitles for Bill.Burr.Presents.Immoral.Compass.S01E06.Part.6.Technology.1080p.ROKU.WEB-DL.DD5.1.H.264-BTN[eztv.re]

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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:02,794 --> 00:00:05,463 All right...so something you're gonna have to deal with 2 00:00:05,463 --> 00:00:08,383 way more so than me is gonna be technology. 3 00:00:08,383 --> 00:00:11,344 You know? Like, I was fine with technology right up to 1995. 4 00:00:11,344 --> 00:00:13,638 You know, we had air bags. 5 00:00:13,638 --> 00:00:15,598 Used to be like curing diseases, 6 00:00:15,598 --> 00:00:17,225 going from a horse to now 7 00:00:17,225 --> 00:00:18,768 where an automobile learning how to fly. 8 00:00:18,768 --> 00:00:20,061 That used to be technology. 9 00:00:20,061 --> 00:00:22,188 Now it's just like, "Oh, look, I can take a-- 10 00:00:22,188 --> 00:00:25,233 I can take a clearer picture of the burrito I just fucking ate." 11 00:00:25,233 --> 00:00:27,652 Fucking bullshit. All excited because you got a better camera. 12 00:00:27,652 --> 00:00:30,321 It's an invasion of your privacy. 13 00:00:30,321 --> 00:00:32,240 Just watch how much you have it in your house, 14 00:00:32,240 --> 00:00:34,826 'cause I'm telling you, everybody, they're bugging the house, right? 15 00:00:34,826 --> 00:00:37,454 There's no place for you to jerk off without getting filmed. 16 00:00:37,454 --> 00:00:41,082 Every time you rub one out, you got the camera pointed at you. 17 00:00:41,082 --> 00:00:42,834 Somebody's saving all that stuff. 18 00:00:42,834 --> 00:00:47,005 I mean, I held onto my square TV till the late 2000s. 19 00:00:47,005 --> 00:00:49,299 All my friends were trashing me, 20 00:00:49,299 --> 00:00:52,010 and they went out and they bought these stupid flat-screen TVs, 21 00:00:52,010 --> 00:00:54,471 and little did they know there's a camera on it 22 00:00:54,471 --> 00:00:55,597 and the thing's sitting there watching you 23 00:00:55,597 --> 00:00:57,682 banging your fucking wife. 24 00:00:57,682 --> 00:00:58,975 You gotta watch out for those guys. 25 00:00:58,975 --> 00:01:00,894 All of those guys I think work for the government. 26 00:01:00,894 --> 00:01:03,354 All those people that come in, they set up your TV, 27 00:01:03,354 --> 00:01:06,149 your entertainment-- your speakers in the ceiling. 28 00:01:06,149 --> 00:01:08,485 Fuck that. You should have all your technology, 29 00:01:08,485 --> 00:01:10,987 all your media, in one room of your house, 30 00:01:10,987 --> 00:01:12,739 and everything else is a safe space. 31 00:01:17,702 --> 00:01:20,121 [R&B music playing in room] 32 00:01:30,548 --> 00:01:32,217 MAN'S VOICE: Ashley? 33 00:01:32,217 --> 00:01:34,552 [clears throat] Ashley. 34 00:01:34,552 --> 00:01:36,179 [mutters] This is really annoying, god dammit. 35 00:01:36,179 --> 00:01:37,222 Sorry, sorry. 36 00:01:38,389 --> 00:01:40,850 [scoffs] Ah. 37 00:01:40,850 --> 00:01:42,477 Ashley. No, no, no! Ashley! Ashley! 38 00:01:42,477 --> 00:01:43,478 I think you have cancer. 39 00:01:47,148 --> 00:01:50,527 I've been watching you for the past nine months. 40 00:01:50,527 --> 00:01:52,070 Ashley... 41 00:01:52,070 --> 00:01:54,781 I love you. 42 00:01:54,781 --> 00:01:57,784 I love every detail, everything about you, 43 00:01:57,784 --> 00:02:00,703 including the cute little mole on the back of your left shoulder, 44 00:02:00,703 --> 00:02:03,748 which I now see 45 00:02:03,748 --> 00:02:06,126 is melanoma. 46 00:02:06,126 --> 00:02:08,628 Ashley, my mom died of skin cancer. 47 00:02:08,628 --> 00:02:11,381 It's a hell of a beast. 48 00:02:11,381 --> 00:02:12,173 Just get it looked at. 49 00:02:13,550 --> 00:02:14,259 I love y-- 50 00:02:25,854 --> 00:02:28,439 Hmm? Yeah, 10:00 am Wednesday works great. 51 00:02:30,483 --> 00:02:33,111 Yes, I'll, um-- I'll bring my insurance card. 52 00:02:37,282 --> 00:02:37,991 [door opens] 53 00:02:46,541 --> 00:02:48,501 [crying] 54 00:02:48,501 --> 00:02:51,171 ASHLEY: No, it's fine. 55 00:02:51,171 --> 00:02:53,381 No, I told you, it's at noon. 56 00:02:53,381 --> 00:02:56,593 Yes, Mom, I know it's my last one. 57 00:02:56,593 --> 00:02:59,220 Okay. I'll see you there. 58 00:02:59,220 --> 00:03:00,930 All right, love you too. Bye. 59 00:03:03,099 --> 00:03:03,808 [door closes] 60 00:03:21,826 --> 00:03:23,036 Hello? 61 00:03:24,454 --> 00:03:26,539 Hello? 62 00:03:26,539 --> 00:03:27,749 Are you there? 63 00:03:30,084 --> 00:03:31,211 Oh, Ashley! Mm. 64 00:03:33,963 --> 00:03:37,175 Uh, I just wanted to, um... 65 00:03:37,175 --> 00:03:39,719 I can't believe this, but, um... 66 00:03:39,719 --> 00:03:42,597 I just wanted to say thank you. 67 00:03:42,597 --> 00:03:45,391 The doctor said that, um, it could've been really bad 68 00:03:45,391 --> 00:03:48,186 if we caught the cancer any later. 69 00:03:48,186 --> 00:03:51,105 I'm really glad you're okay. 70 00:03:51,105 --> 00:03:54,192 [chuckles] This might sound crazy, but... 71 00:03:57,195 --> 00:03:58,988 Could I take you out to dinner sometime? 72 00:04:01,616 --> 00:04:02,617 Yeah. 73 00:04:02,617 --> 00:04:03,743 Really? 74 00:04:03,743 --> 00:04:06,913 Fuck no! You're a fucking stalker. 75 00:04:06,913 --> 00:04:09,540 - Got it. - Bye. 76 00:04:09,540 --> 00:04:11,167 God, I gotta tell my mom about this. 77 00:04:13,002 --> 00:04:15,004 But watch out for technology, man. 78 00:04:15,004 --> 00:04:16,881 I spent the most important years of my life 79 00:04:16,881 --> 00:04:19,759 staring at my phone looking at online porn. 80 00:04:19,759 --> 00:04:22,929 You know? And I do mean looking at it. 81 00:04:22,929 --> 00:04:24,889 'Cause I swear to God, after a while I just stopped jerking off. 82 00:04:24,889 --> 00:04:26,182 I would just be, like, you know, 83 00:04:26,182 --> 00:04:28,184 like I was watching surveillance footage. 84 00:04:28,184 --> 00:04:30,186 I'd start laughing. 85 00:04:30,186 --> 00:04:31,771 "Why would she say that?" 86 00:04:33,273 --> 00:04:34,399 I haven't watched it in three months, so, 87 00:04:34,399 --> 00:04:35,566 that's a good thing. 88 00:04:37,777 --> 00:04:41,781 [country-pop music playing] [teen girls giggling quietly] 89 00:04:41,781 --> 00:04:43,825 MADDY: She's so wasted. 90 00:04:43,825 --> 00:04:45,702 EVA: What is that dance she's doing? 91 00:04:45,702 --> 00:04:49,038 - EVA: Mom? - BOTH: Mom? 92 00:04:49,038 --> 00:04:50,540 EVA: What was the dance to this 93 00:04:50,540 --> 00:04:52,125 you showed us at, um-- at Jeremy's wedding? 94 00:04:55,837 --> 00:04:59,048 [girls laughing] MADDY: She's so wasted. 95 00:04:59,048 --> 00:04:59,757 - MADDY: Take the camera. - EVA: Okay. 96 00:04:59,757 --> 00:05:01,676 MADDY: Watch this. Mom? 97 00:05:04,012 --> 00:05:06,514 Uh, hey, Mom, can I have some money for the movies? 98 00:05:06,514 --> 00:05:08,391 How much do you need? 99 00:05:08,391 --> 00:05:10,310 - Like $200. - [Maddy giggles] 100 00:05:10,310 --> 00:05:12,562 - $200? - Yeah. 101 00:05:18,860 --> 00:05:20,987 - Sure, sweetie. - EVA: Oh. Holy shit! 102 00:05:20,987 --> 00:05:23,865 I have to find my purse. 103 00:05:23,865 --> 00:05:24,699 MADDY: [giggling] Mom? 104 00:05:33,541 --> 00:05:35,460 Dishwasher. Uh, Mom? 105 00:05:39,630 --> 00:05:41,758 What are you doing? Mom? 106 00:05:41,758 --> 00:05:42,800 EVA: Oh, my God, she's a mess. 107 00:05:45,720 --> 00:05:46,804 Uh... 108 00:05:48,848 --> 00:05:50,308 MADDY: [urgent whisper] Did you know that was there? 109 00:05:50,308 --> 00:05:53,186 Eva, when is--what's the date of your birthday again? 110 00:05:53,186 --> 00:05:55,938 - Is it six or seven? - Six. 111 00:05:57,023 --> 00:05:58,649 Right. 112 00:05:58,649 --> 00:05:59,442 [groans] 113 00:06:02,820 --> 00:06:04,655 - Mom! - Oh, my God! Mom, stop! 114 00:06:04,655 --> 00:06:06,741 - Mom! - Okay... 115 00:06:06,741 --> 00:06:08,326 Mom! 116 00:06:08,326 --> 00:06:12,038 [all screaming and clamoring] 117 00:06:12,038 --> 00:06:14,415 [man grunting in panic] [girls screaming] 118 00:06:14,415 --> 00:06:16,000 [bodies thud] What is going on?! 119 00:06:16,000 --> 00:06:18,294 - [screams] - Mom, what is happening? 120 00:06:18,294 --> 00:06:21,255 - MOM: Hit him! - EVA: Maddy! Hit him! 121 00:06:21,255 --> 00:06:22,924 - No! - EVA: Aah! Do it! 122 00:06:22,924 --> 00:06:24,384 MOM: Hit him! 123 00:06:24,384 --> 00:06:25,468 [Eva screams] 124 00:06:26,302 --> 00:06:30,515 [country-pop music continues] 125 00:06:30,515 --> 00:06:31,724 Good girls. 126 00:06:39,440 --> 00:06:41,901 I told you my purse was in here. 9033

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